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I've always been a pathetic beta, frequently giving up what I want to please others, usually my family or significant other. In my culture it's very common to bend to our parents wishes and be good little"ethnic" boys and girls... My career path was decided on my parents wims, so was the house i bought... Every time i wanted to do something and my parents said "No, do this instead" I complied...

I've always wanted a motorcycle and my parents both said "No!", "youll kill yourself" "it'll kill us every time you're out on it, they so dangerous, do you want to put us in an early grave" "no good 'ethnic' kid would ride a bike" "why do you want a bike to be macho american man" and all sorts of other crap. I am a 1st gen US born. I took my rider safety class 7 years ago to show them i was serious and would to be as safe as possible about it, and i still let them push me around and tell me "No" even though i was 23 and making my own money at that time.

Finally I'm 30 now... you know what, enough bullshit, screw this, I'm a fucking adult, I have to stand up to my parents if I'm ever going to stand up to anybody... I have to make my own decisions and do what I want, do things that will make me happy. How can I lead if i'm still tuck tail every time I'm dictated to by my parents.

So I said fuck it and bought an old small harley and retook the riders course. I never even told them, they just saw it when they came over to my house a few days later. There was a lot of screaming by my parents that I normally would have engaged in, but engaging means you've already lost. Mom didn't talk to me for 2 weeks... Dad was reasonable, I don't like it, but there's nothing I can do he's an adult. That changed after my mom started blaming him because she got on my dad's ass for "being ok with it" and "encouraging me" even though he was just being a realist.

My whole family, extended too, has tried every way imaginable to get me to sell it, first treating me like a child "you will sell this bike, you can't have it", then guilt "you're killing your parents" "what do you need to prove", then reason "they're not safe, it's not you we're worried about it's other drivers". I deflected all of it. I hear them talk shit when they think i'm not listening, but fuck them. Yesterday Mom asked a couple of questions about my riding jacket and then went back into "i don't want to talk about this" and i was like whatever you brought it up. She's starting to accept it I think.

I know it's not a big deal to most of you, but this is something i've wanted for 7 years now, and let my obsequious nature keep me from it. I've been reading TRP for almost 3 months. I have a lot more work to do on changing my programming, but I've finally made a step and done something for myself, and it feels good man.


[–]guymanthing2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Live for yourself, not for the happiness of others"

[–]awfulgoodness2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kill the boy to become a man. Congratulations OP you've stoned up and stood up. Enjoy your scoot and hardbellies.

[–]ohhaio0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just curious and off-topic, but what do you mean by "ethnic"?

/ I live in an area that's populated by many different immigrant groups that have moved in in various waves over the past few decades and I love to hear about their cultures and the process of Americanizing in their kids.

p.s. congrats on the Harley (it's not a bike, it's a Harley!) and now go get some hotties for the bitch spot.

[–]reddishman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Op you have to see it for what it is. Your mom is covertly manipulative. She was using silence as a way to manipulate you until you bend over and comply. She wanted reassurance that you are still wrapped aroun her finger.

I won't say that her method of getting what she wants is wrong. At trp we preach the same thing in form of dread but she is your mom and she is supposed to have love and empathy (at least) for her children.

You did the right thing tho. Your mom is going to shit test you now. I would advice failing them as long as the matter is not important to you. This way she will have reassurance that you are still her beta while you are going your own way without her knowing. It's a fine line.

Read "no more mr nice guy". It's written for guys exactly in your position. Another must read is the laws of power.

[–]MasonJarTeaDrinker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good for you, I ride my bike everyday and it's fucken awesome. Welcome to the Bike life brother.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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