Blue Pill ExampleI'm 99% Mother and 1% Wife - And It Has to Be That Way (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan

I came across an article that Rollo linked in his latest blog today that I thought would be a good read for you guys...especially you guys who still, in the face of all of the evidence, are actually contemplating marriage in the year 2015.

First a link to Rollo's blog, which is an excellent read in it's own right:


Then, he links this article in the "Myth of Mismatched Libidos" section of it:


Reason being, simply, it's from Good Housekeeping magazine, which I never fucking read and I imagine a good number of you don't either. Text is below with some of my editorializations.

I'm 99% Mother and 1% Wife — And It Has to Be That Way

Already off to a good start in the title, gentlemen, aren't we? Don't be surprised when you're getting 1% of the sex after the first fuck trophy pops out.

When my husband, John, and I were newly married, we bought a chihuahua and named him Prancer, as he looked like a reindeer.

How I loved him! He had a wardrobe to rival mine, a custom-made house indoors (for fear he'd get a chill), was hand-fed chicken, and graced our holiday cards. Prancer, I mean, not John.

Already, even before the kids arrive, her dog is a bigger prize to her than her husband. Let that sink in for a moment. She can't be bothered to cook a meal for her husband John, but she can build her dog project houses and hand feed it chicken. This is, essentially, the crux of Rollo's point, but from the mouth of a hamster. Once she's locked down her Beta, that's it. Provisioning secured. On to other things more interesting than hubby beta boy.

Then I got pregnant. A friend with a daschund and a toddler warned, "When the baby comes, you won't care about the dog anymore." I said that was crazy talk.

By the time our son was six months old, I had given Prancer to my mother. "He deserves someone who can still dote on him," I reasoned. My mom delighted in spoiling him; I more or less forgot he existed.

And again, on to bigger and better things, like the kids. We just listened to this loving wife author tell us how much she adores her pet chihuahua, yet she discarded the dog like a dress she'd outgrown. Now, remember where Prancer was on her hierarchy of importance (the top), and where hubby John was. Now let *that sink in for a minute.*

Years later, John and I have three kids. I wonder why nobody gave me this head's up: "When you're half dead keeping three humans happy, you won't care about your husband anymore."

Yes, I just compared my husband to a dog. But stay with me here.

Finally the hamster connects the comparison it's just made. More running on the wheel to come, I sense this fluffy little bastard is about to wear it's claws down to the nubs.

I've come to realize I'm a crappy wife.

I put John last, pretty much all the time. And it's not like he's a bad guy — far from it. He does the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, makes the kids' lunches, even braids my daughter's hair. He often compliments me, and regularly asks if we can go away, alone, for a weekend, or at least out to lunch.

Remember what Rollo talked about in "Choreplay", which is the bullshit myth that if a husband does chores around the house he will be rewarded with sex and affection. Resist the urge to slap the next bitch who says "the sexiest thing a man can do for his wife is the dishes." The truth is she stopped seeing you as a sexual being not long after you said "I do".

She doesn't even want to entertain his company for lunch. For *lunch*! Even sharing a meal for less than an hour is a repulsive thought to her. Too "dead" I guess, right?

I tell him I have no time for leisurely lunches, let alone two entire days away. I can't be bothered to figure out who is going to take care of our kids, pack, unpack, then scramble getting ready for Monday morning.

Vacations? Forget about it. She can't be bothered. I recently saw a TV commercial a couple days ago for Choice Hotels, in which they cite a statistic that a total of more than 4-million paid vacation days go unused in the United States today, and now I think I know why. So get ready married men: not only are the weekend flings to Las Vegas going away, you'll be lucky if you get to sniffs a dwarf's ass at Disney World. Mommy's just too tired to be bothered.

At Christmas, I blow an insane amount on the kids, then someone will ask "What did you get John?" Oh, yeah. What I wind up grabbing at the last minute is usually as personal as if I'd be shopping for his boss.

Ever wonder how the stereotypical "dad" gift is always socks, underwear, or a lame fucking tie? It's because after doting on the kids with video games and designer jeans, your wife doesn't give a shit to put thought into your gift, that's why.

Your reward for your hard work as a loving father is something you fart into, or maybe something you'll eventually use to hang yourself from the ceiling fan with.

I stay up late, nearly every night, and creep into bed after he's long asleep. The next morning, I'm up and at 'em before he can roll over and give me a hug.

So not only would 66% of wives rather read a book in bed than fuck their husbands, it looks like there's a percentage above that that doesn't even want to do the laying in bed with him part. I bet she lies down *reeeeeaalllly soft after he's sleeping. Wouldn't want to endure the paralyzing horror of waking him, would we? He might get frustrated and marriage-rape her, right?*

I've spoken this sentence to John. "Let me be clear: If I have to choose between you or one of the kids, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?"

So the marriage shit-tests were flying in no time flat. Got it.

Why am I such a biatch? Here's my excuse: I'm exhausted, mentally and physically.

For most of the last 10 years, I've been the breadwinner. I worked long hours commuting into Manhattan full-time. Now, John has a job, but I still commute, and also work from home trying to keep us ahead of the bills.

My older son is in college, and I will save him from student loans or die trying. My younger son has some special needs, and keeping him on track is a full-time job. My daughter, like any 11-year-old girl, wants her mom to listen, to watch, to help. The clock is ticking on her innocence, and I dare not miss a second of what's left of it.

I am tired, and I am worried. Worried there won't be enough. Enough money, enough luck, enough time, enough of me. John's a great dad, but I play a singular role in each of my kid's lives. And as they've grown, the urgency to get it right screams at me, day and night.

But I thought this is what the modern woman wanted, honey? You're a hard-working "career womyns" who's "doing it all", right? So what the fuck are you bitching about? Your fore-sisters fought for your right to be a life-sucked cubicle drone, so what's the problem? I thought gender roles were just social constructs, right?

Pay attention, you aspiring stay-at-home-fathers to be. For as much as we hear about how acceptable it is for a SAHF while wife goes off to her cubicle hell "career", for all of society applauding you for embracing your new-aged emasculation of diaper changing and building popsicle stick houses, there is one person who will absolutely hate your guts for doing this. You have handed her all of the control, all the frame, all of the responsibility, and like our author, it will destroy her inside. She is not built for it, but will never admit it. Instead the fault will be projected onto the easiest target: *you*.

The ship is going down, and I've only got three life jackets. Who am I going to give them to? John, you learned to swim a long time ago, right?

Boy, this woman just keeps getting more and more pleasant. Hold on while I Google Map "wedding chapels".

You've said you feel like a second-class citizen in our family, and for that, I am sorry. You deserve better than me, you do. I hope that on some level, you know that the reason why I am the way I am has nothing to do with you. I love you, believe it or not.

"You deserve better"..."it's not you it's me"...these are the rationalization every girl uses right before she is getting ready to leave you. I'm sure many of you have heard these lines before...right before she dumps you for being "too safe", right before she runs off to fuck Chad T-Cock.

Only in this case, *it comes with a nice helping of divorce rape.** *

When the kids are all off enjoying their successful, happy lives, and the two of us are left looking at each other, please, please, ask me to lunch.

It'll be my treat.

This last part is just to make sure he stays fully in his beta paradise, to keep him so he doesn't, I dunno, start looking up gym memberships and making dating site profiles. At least until she's ready to sit him down to have "the talk". Over *lunch*, of course.

[–]phoenix_md 259 points260 points  (82 children)

Great post. I'm ten years married and found RP 6months ago. Thank God. I've gotten promoted, get hit on constantly at work, gone from deadbedroom to getting my dick sucked daily, stronger and more muscular than ever, and simply happy. I will be forever thankful for all you guys.

Now that my life is going awesome I can't stop trying to save others. Yet it's amazing how many husbands would rather believe the fairy tale than swallow the pill and dramatically improve their life (as well as the lives of their wife and kids).

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Amazing right? You start looking out for YOU...then others do too!

[–]phoenix_md 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Everyone wins. But it takes a man to make the first step

[–]fuckin_retard 96 points96 points [recovered]

This is the comment people need to see. You have turned around your marriage and life by embracing certain principles.

Too many people in this sub shun marriage altogether - look, the reality is that to have children, you should get married.

And I know you want to be all "Alpha" and independent and all that shit, but the Alpha male reproduces and passes on his genes. And the best way to raise stable kids is to have a family.

Have a family and lead it. That's RP. Running away from this because its difficult or annoying is fucking stupid.

[–]phoenix_md 33 points34 points  (29 children)

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I understand MGTOW for a time, but what happens when you get old and find yourself with dead parents, siblings that live states away, no children, 1-2 incurable STDs, and dwindling plate opportunities? That's a bleak future to me. Being alpha and being married works great, just be sure to choose your wife wisely.

[–]Magnum256[🍰] 30 points31 points  (9 children)

I think some of us have just witnessed so many failed marriages that we've figured out its a losing proposition. Anecdotally, most of my friends from high school are either married and miserable, or divorced. My mom has been through two divorces, my dad through one and then never remarried. Several uncles have been through multiple divorces. My wealthy grandfather has been married 4 times, and if he had slowed down with that shit earlier in his life he'd probably be worth $100 million instead of just $10-15 million, but that's besides the point. I've seen so many failed marriages and so few successful ones that it just doesn't seem like a risk I want to take. I'm sure there are some happily long - time married men out there but I'm certain they're the minority.

[–]phoenix_md 13 points14 points  (7 children)

Hey, I totally understand. My parents divorced when I was young.

My wife and I are Christians. The Bible is quite Red Pill and I believe marriages do better is a Christian framework. The problem for most Christian marriages today is the failure of churches to let the Bible, rather than society, dictate the dynamic of husband and wives.

  • Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

  • 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

  • Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

  • Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

  • Genesis‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

There are many, many more biblical examples of RP marriages, this is just a sample.

[–]alecesne 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a Midwestern American I hear people bible thumping about how gay marriage is destroying marriage and I want to pull out my hair and yell "No, no-fault divorce is destroying marriage". I'm not even a Christian but I sure as hell respect what the bible actually says regarding marriage.

[–]zbednorz 8 points9 points  (1 child)

The marriage that God commands us to have is beautiful and it works. The tenets from those verses are the backbone to a "red pill" marriage.

Unfortunately, many leaders of the church are too timid to preach it. 1 Corinthians covers the same subject and a few weeks ago our pastor skipped entirely over the verses that describe the correct dynamics in a marriage. It's a shame.

Lastly, an interesting bit on Genesis 3:16. "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Looking into the origin of the bolded words, from Greek, they mean that the wife will desire to rule over the husband (the context is God doling out punishments, desiring her husband in a loving way would not fit the context). This is a promise from the Lord that our wives will forever be tempted to take control of the household, the church, and all leadership. Yet, we know that women are not meant to bear that burden, their gifts are meant for other things, equally as important.

I always think back to that verse when I see women taking control in marriages. It is promised in the Old Testament that only suffering will come out of that situation.

[–]Fryguy48 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes so much sense. Wow, thank you for sharing. It also opens up many of prophecies in relation to revelations.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great post btw but I hope you all realise that divorce rates today are way lower than they used to be. The baby boomer generation has a much higher divorce rate because a lot of them got married too young due to pregnancy and stigma, or they married due to family pressure. All to people they didn't really want to marry. Once the kids were old enough they all got divorced. Be RP - marry the woman you want, make the life you want happen. Don't expect it to just happen!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Fear is the most powerful ingredient of the blue pill.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 24 points25 points  (8 children)

Yeah. Who in the world would exchange the pleasure of satisfying an aging nagging meatsack with 20yo whores, loads of money and the freedom to do whatever you want? Who the hell would like to move into a big house with a bro the same age and share your financial independent time with travelling and having fun with him when he could see the same old visage he's already seen for last forty years, and have the same pointless and boring conversations?

Who would be so dumb?

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gotta admit, I laughed my ass off. Great comment.

[–]phoenix_md 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You make good points. There are merits to each side for sure.

The MGTOW route embraces freedom, independence, and liquidity of relationships whereas the marriage route values security, mutual welfare, and stability of relationships. While this forum highlights husbands getting the short end of the stick, I've read plenty of stories of lonely, forgotten men who chose to go their own way.

Having kids leaves a legacy and is quite fulfilling in both middle and older ages of a person's life. Take a look at Erikson's psychosocial stages, esp 5-8 to learn more. Also, finding a bro like you described, in which you get to enjoy a lifetime of friendship, fun, and adventures, can be just as hard as finding a good woman to marry.

I wish you the best on whichever route you take.

[–]Ifuckinglovepron 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Having a family is also a measure of prestige more so than just the right car or clothing. It is a marker of social class and aids in the ability to achieve.

Alec Baldwin's character in the movie "The Departed" has a discussion about this. Along the lines of "You are getting married? That is good. It lends a man certain credibility...."

The lifestyle you describe will leave most people assuming that you and your bro are secretly homosexuals. If that is what you want, cool. But in levels of real power you will be the one who seems odd. Who do you suppose will get the badass promotion to senior management? John the old dude who dates young women and lives with a guy in some odd relationship and is always taking cool vacations or Mike the guy with a doting wife and a solid family and a son on his way to an Ivy League school?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Firstly I can solely speak about European culture and German in particular since most of what I know abot US-culture is aquired from TV, movies and from my five visits there, well and what I learn here.

It's getting more and more common that old people move together and they are often of the same sex and I believe that it will greatly increase in the future when I come to an age where it will be of interest for me.

People are getting older and older and there are less and less family but more and more single households. It only makes sense to move in together with a friend and make a pact to take care of each other.

Secondly I've been called worse than just gay. I have experienced my disposability at first hand. I've been to the ground and this society didn't give a fraction of a single fuck about me. They tried to ignore me and I was an annoyance to them at best.

I do not give shit about what anybody thinks about me, with my daughter and maybe my mother from time to time being the only exception. Everbody else can either deal with me or go and fuck themselves. I fought my way back solely on my own and I pulled myself out of that shithole on my own hair.

Thirdly I surely do not give a shit about ending up in any mangement position. I've got my own business and either I succeed, or I fail and start over again. Never will I be anybodies bitch again and try to whore my time and power away. I'd rather end up on the ground again. I've been there and I know I can exist there. I am not afraid anymore.

I also do not plan to get too old in our western society. My goal is to be able to make a decent living in South America or East Asia. I don't strive to become exceptionally rich, since I've become very frugal and I do not own much stuff. Property is highly over-rated in our times and consumption is the cancer of our times.

I will become 39 this year and I have procreated. I do not have a single reason to limit my freedom by tying myself to some hamster.

I wouldn't exactly count myself to the MGTOW, although I share some beliefs. I do not despise of women and I do not hate them. It's just that they have become much less important and interesting to me, and while I never was an enthusiastic prostitute lover, they seem more and more appealing to me over the time.

I understand your points though and I don't think that it's impossible to have a successful marriage today. In fact I am sad that it's a dying thing. Family values have become underrated too much and I love to remember the big family meetings and I mourn all those who have already died, making those meetings smaller and smaller, since most of my relatives chose not to procreate. It's just that I do not think a man is making a very good deal.

Kudos to everybody fully unplugged who is still willing to try it though.

[–]BrunoOh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's mostly the same thing as when you marry, except you miss out on a ton of stress and alimony.

[–]1sailorJery 5 points6 points  (3 children)

yeah find yourself that unicorn buddy

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Why the flying fuck would I need to get married to have children?

If I'm living in Asia where divorce laws basically destroy the wife yeah sure no problem.

In the West, fuck no.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No people shun marriage all together IF your blue pill self hasn't already been tricked into it.

It's simple economics, you have to keep the mistake you made or lose half or more of all your shit so the risk of using dread game is worth the reward (lots of sex even if it's only with one woman)

[–]newbie3hunna 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Am I the only one who doesn't like kids? I'd rather live with a feral animal than be responsible for polluting the earth with more humans while simultaneously burdening myself for 18 years.

You just aren't that special. You are just a random freaking monkey with genes so similar to everyone else that you might as well let your wife fucking your neighbor and raise it. The ego that goes into wanting to pass on your genes blows my mind. For god sake there are already kids without homes and you think it is that important to have your own? Not for me.

[–]cariboo_j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True within 800 years or something your descendents genes become so diluted they bear no relation to you

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but the Alpha male reproduces and passes on his genes

Nah man. This alpha pigeonholing is wholly unproductive and incorrect. The only intrinsically alpha trait is doing what you want to do. Be it have kids or not have kids. The ability and will to choose, not the resulting choice, is the "alpha" portion.

[–]alecesne 3 points4 points  (0 children)


It is also important to note that Culture and Biology clash in our modern lives. Now sex and reproduction are separate, and success is measured in more than just physical fitness and health (though these are underrated in contemporary popular culture).

10,000 years ago, if you were the strongest male in a group, your reproductive success was far greater than the average man (who might die without children). This is why men are more motivated to stand out, to compete, to take risks, and to have sex frequently. It led to reproductive success. Culture has altered this dynamic; men typically have one reproductive partner, and ironically, the more "successful" men in cultural terms often have fewer children than those who flaunt law and culture and have promiscuous sex. If you want to strike a balance between being a reproductively successful male and a culturally successful male, you have to have children and then care for them. Impress upon your daughters that they need to find, secure, and respect a high-quality male before they are too old, and advise your sons to work hard and become high-quality males.

[–]matayo41 8 points9 points  (2 children)

is it your wife sucking your dick, or someone else?

[–]phoenix_md 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Wife. Married a good one while I was naturally alpha then turned beta when kids were born. Reading TRP was like awakening from a coma

[–]matayo41 5 points6 points  (0 children)

that's good to hear mang. keep on doing what you're doing.

[–]myrpaccount 5 points5 points [recovered]

I found it 2 years ago and it changed my life as well. It was so bad, I used to frequent /r/deadbedrooms. My marriage is actually fixed now and it's not just fixed for me. My wife's happiness has increased just as much as my own.

I try to spread the word, but I never use TRP directly. I have run into a few people including my own brother that are in the same situation I was in. I usually point them at MMSLP, NMMNG and SG Method. At that point they are on their own as I feel I have led the horse to water so to speak. Some have come back thanking me and then I'll share more. Others haven't done anything and I drop the issue.

[–]laere 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Happy for you man, keep up the good self-improvement. However, still being young, this post just heavily reinforces me to never marry.


[–]phoenix_md 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I totally understand. But never say never. There are truly good girls out there, but you won't find them in the places you find plates.

[–]foldpak111 14 points15 points  (8 children)

Don't forget to do your deadlift for a big strong glutes. I get a little too much attention for my butt haha

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Women love checking out a man's ass. It's why I wear tight pants at work.

[–]foldpak111 4 points5 points  (3 children)

You'll rarely catch them even though it happens multiple times a day. Women are damn good at checking guys out and not getting caught. Unless you run into a big group of ovulating/drunk women, then they just fully let you know.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Women have wider peripheral vision than men do. They can see you without looking at you.

[–]phoenix_md 3 points4 points  (0 children)

[–]jumpingdonkey 3 points4 points  (3 children)

For alot of people it is hard to accept that their entire believe system is wrong. They glance back at everything in their lives and can't believe it all to be wrong.

[–]alecesne 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The biggest revelation of RP for me was to finally see how much my mom straight up owned my dad, and how much my two best friends had fathers who had the same problem. Each was different; my dad would just spend Sundays in the basement playing guitar and toking, one of my friend's fathers just worked ungodly hours to support (and avoid) his stay-at-home wife and 4 kids, and another was mostly silent when his wife was in the room just to avoid getting shit on. I didn't realize until this year that there are alternatives!

[–]jumpingdonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ill 1up you on that, my revelation was how all my aunts (7 of them) including my mom, straight up and down owned their husbands.. that while im from the middle east christian minority not particulary known for suchs a thing. It now makes sense to my why our community is falling apart.

so many of my cousins who are beta's its sad. I feel for em, i would like to reach out to them, but wont not untill i have became full alpha.

[–]CapnZack53 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I am trying to figure out how to incorporate RP into my own marriage but I haven't haf much success. How did you do it?

[–]reiduh 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Judging by your username, it's safe to assume you're a doctor.

My own personal anecdotes of doctorhood began (and ended) after my first year in a rural medical school.

It always was so shocking to me, how these super-brilliant male peers of mine could be complete and utter beta bitches. How women (down to the nurses) ran everything -- living and breathing for the dick that might save their financial/kidless woes.

Now, some several years later (5+), it saddens me to see these overweight, overworked, undersexed doctors (!! physician, heal thyself!) so flustered in their bedrooms. Just beaten by the process of becoming "fashionable american dream doctors," having given up, they resort to drugs/alcoholism/extra-marital affairs (no judgments on that last one =P ).

Best of luck to you on your lifeward journeys, my reformed physician friend!

[–]user0159 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've got this surgical tech in my current rotation and she talks about how beta all the doctors are and how she tells them what to do, etc. I just tell her it's cute when she tries to be assertive and tell her to give me a BJ. She says she love it when I tell her what to do and gets to sucking.

[–]alecesne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I too didn't discover RP until after marriage. I have a lot of studying to do, but always appreciate when the issues of post-marriage is discussed. I understand that men can walk away in a lot of situation, but I'm 5 months from being a father and that's the last thing I want to do. This article just blows my mind...

[–]darkstout 93 points94 points  (15 children)

"I love you, believe it or not."

Only 1% of her loves him. That's how much a beta can expect these days.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 107 points108 points  (10 children)

She doesn't "love him"; she loves the concept that he represents at this very moment in time. Later, it will be "I love you, but I'm not in love with you", when she's justifying serving him with papers.

My new favorite game when a girl trots out the "I love you" line is to laugh under my breath, shake my head slightly, then when she asks why I'm doing that, my go to line is, "hon, you don't love me, you are in love with the idea of being in love." Then I walk away and let the hamster chew on that for a while.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

How does that benefit you though?

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

It benefits me because they snap back to "plate" mode. They realize that if the choice is "JP commits or I ditch JP", they choose "forget the whole thing" most of the time.

[–]AntixD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that 1% is how much is providing for her is worth,she's that more valuable in her perception

[–]isthatyourdaughter 69 points69 points [recovered]

Oh my god, that NY Post article. That whole thing is just a paid advertisement for Dread. Also,

A 36-year-old actress from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, we’ll call Jane says sex with her husband “is not, overall, the hottest sex of my life. But I wouldn’t trade it for a second to have the giver of the hottest sex be my life partner!”

What a dumb cunt. "You're not the best in bed, life partner, but I wouldn't want that man (who again, isn't you) anyway!"

"life partner", lol. She can't even bring herself to call him "husband."

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 74 points75 points  (10 children)

"life partner", lol. She can't even bring herself to call him "husband."

And isn't that just the crux of the whole matter? Today's women have defined roles for the men in their lives. And the word "husband" carries an age-old connotation that she has some sort of duty to keep fucking him while married to him. "Life partners" are for monthly duty sex and having babies with; "lovers" are for fucking in a Hilton jacuzzi suite up against the 12th story window, doggystyle, because it's "oh so kinky and dangerous tee hee we might get caught".

The point Rollo makes in his post is that women no longer try to consolidate the best of Alpha Fux with the best of Beta Bux in one, singular male. Instead, they utilize Alpha Fux to the fullest when she desires, and utilizes Beta Bux to the fullest when she needs that, and rarely/never is it the same man that fulfills both roles.

[–]Riddick_ 21 points22 points  (7 children)

"> The point Rollo makes in his post is that women no longer try to consolidate the best of Alpha Fux with the best of Beta Bux in one, singular male."

This. Today it takes on average about 3 males or more to really "satisfy" a woman. From the Sugar Daddy (the sucker), to "her Gym trainer" (the fucker), her Tinder dates (weekend fuck toys) and those "good Friends" (Facebook beta orbiter support team), and the "my gay friend" the ground wire for all kinky shit they are doing. Unfortunately, I know a few women like that that, and I would not touch them with a 50 foot pole. These are women that went to university, have a good job, and on the surface appear to be civilized. Nothing could be further from the truth. One word would summarize them well: Rotten.

[–]SilentForTooLong 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Sorry if this seems stupid, but isn't that essentially the scenario most of the men here on RP are hoping to be in?... (Having a myriad of women fucking them in various ways at all times to satisfy them whenever they need + having a great job + appearing civilized)?

[–]Riddick_ 6 points7 points  (4 children)

The short answer is No ;] The RedPill is about finding a way, to be a real man in a society that turned its back on men. Learning the Game and having ability to get "plates" is only one chapter, a learning process if you will. Not everyone needs it, and not everyone has to be "spinning 10 plates" to validate themselves. There are some that come here for "pick-up advice". Those guys would be better served by many PUA forums, etc. RedPill is as much about self improvement, development, it is about helping other men become better men, and give them/share the information they need to have a happier and better life all around.

[–]Chikinhok 4 points5 points  (0 children)

id say a lot of us have different "end games" from TRP

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Women are the masters of compartmentalization.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Division of labor and specialization.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That whole thing is just a paid advertisement for Dread.

This. The husband of the woman who wrote this article needs to start laying down some dread game. If he gets in shape, stops being her emotional tampon, and starts getting attention from other women then she'll probably feel motivated to do more than just throw a little pity sex his way every now and then.

[–]68461674897051454980 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're not the best in bed, life partner, but I wouldn't want that man (who again, isn't you) anyway!"

reading garbage on relationshipadvice for too long, i was first thinking 'well, i guess it doesnt matter if he's her best in bed because she may love him for other reasons and not care about who is 'best' in bed'

that's what they'll say in those subs or most people IRL if he were to ask for advice

but it got me thinking, it does matter, for 2 reasons. first, how good sex is largely mental, especially for a woman. so if it's not her best, there's a good chance she's not mentally as turned on as she was with the other guy, who she will probably think about at times.

second, she knows she could be having better sex, so when things get even more boring with this beta dude, she knows if she fucks someone else it'll could be what she's been missing all these years, making her more likely to cheat imo.

there could be even more reasons that im not thinking of, but its crazy how reading shitty beta advice will make you think it's right at times, at least until you stop and actually think about what the problem you're looking at really means

[–]rpscrote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once you've been a woman's best sex, to be anything short of that is insulting and means you need to next and become some other woman's best sex.

[–]WallBender 33 points34 points  (16 children)

Sickening. But thanks for the analysis. Well written despite it being very long. I read every word of it.

My mom always said the same thing growing up, about choosing us over my dad. It explains so many things...

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 54 points55 points  (15 children)

Women say this and they think it's all noble and shit.

But the fact is, the minute a woman puts her children above her husband, the marriage and family is doomed to fail. The husband and wife came first; they are the cornerstone of the marriage and hence the cornerstone of the family. They must parent as a united front to raise well-oriented children who will be productive to society.

Any woman who says "my kids come first and always will" has already resigned her husband to short-term sperm donor and long-term child support donor. By "putting her children first", she is already diminishing the importance of her husband as the role of father in the kids lives. And she will later discard him accordingly.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I dunno...women love their kids in a very different way. Much more unconditional. Women love men opportunisticly.

When one knows this then one can navigate an LTR

[–]WallBender 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Precisely. That's why they say a man cannot expect his woman to love him like his mother does.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes...And so many of us had to learn this the hard way. I think back to beta pukes of mine.... " how can you do this to meeeeeeeeeeee?!?!?!"

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's not so much prioritizing the kids well being that's the problem, it's her going out of her way to declare it. Placing the kids high on the priorities list as a parent is an unspoken practice, it's assumed. When a female, a creature that doesn't like to be direct and confrontational, decides to verbalize this, especially to the father, it means she holds sexual resentment towards him.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When a female, a creature that doesn't like to be direct and confrontational, decides to verbalize this, especially to the father, it means she holds sexual resentment towards him.

Absolutely. In fact the woman tells a little white lie that she loves the husband just as much in a healthy relationship

[–]foldpak111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women need to put 'the family' first.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (18 children)

A while ago I was reading an article about how women control the social perception before they will risk divorcing. The book, written by a woman, explained that it simply isn't acceptable for a woman to divorce, except in a few select situations (cheating, severe abuse). So, when a woman is leaving, she'll spend, sometimes considerable, time prepping the social circles for it. So that A) it doesn't look like she just decided to leave, but that this has been a long time coming, B) he's the primary reason for her leaving (not her choice to pursue something better)this is where you often see claims of some vague abuse that when pressed turns out to mean she was unhappy and he didn't cave, and C) she isn't at fault because of A and B. This is the writer prepping her exit, but with a new twist.

Prepping the exit:

"When you're half dead keeping three humans happy, you won't care about your husband anymore."

Yes, I just compared my husband to a dog

I put John last, pretty much all the time. I stay up late, nearly every night, and creep into bed after he's long asleep. The next morning, I'm up and at 'em before he can roll over and give me a hug.

I am tired, and I am worried. Worried there won't be enough. Enough money, enough luck, enough time, enough of me

"Let me be clear: If I have to choose between you or one of the kids, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?"

The ship is going down, and I've only got three life jackets. Who am I going to give them to? John, you learned to swim a long time ago, right?

She's also showing how this has been a long time coming:

For most of the last 10 years, I've been the breadwinner.

Actually, it's been since they said their vows.

But here's the twist, instead of blaming him, she's taking all of the blame and in doing so redeeming herself by now being caring enough to divorce him! She can redeem herself by DIVORCING HIM!! That way he can go get the person he deserves (of course she'll be free to find someone new as well, now that the kids are at stages she no longer needs their, ahem, father's help):

I've come to realize I'm a crappy wife

I put John last, pretty much all the time

And it's not like he's a bad guy — far from it. He does the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, makes the kids' lunches, even braids my daughter's hair. He often compliments me, and regularly asks if we can go away, alone, for a weekend, or at least out to lunch.

You deserve better than me, you do.

The last sums it up completely. When she looks into the future, they aren't together, they're simply looking at each other. For fucking real? Then, he needs to ask her out and she'll treat, as in we should do lunch and catch up, it'll be fun seeing each other again and I'll treat (since your such a beta bitch).

I just hope this poor guy has enough sense to see the writing on the wall.

[–]isthatyourdaughter 42 points42 points [recovered]

I like how she "apologizes" for being a crappy wife in an article, instead of apologizing to her husband in private. This isn't a genuine apology, it's just a literary device.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

He isn't the subject or the concern. She only cares what others will think when she leaves. She isn't apologizing for the way she treated him, she's apologizing to women for the female initiated divorce she's about to instigate as the "repentance" portion of her redemption.

[–]NightGod 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I'm glad someone else caught this. The main thought going through my mind as I read this was "she's been talking to her divorce attorney for six months already."

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Look through her prior postings. Two or three back is one she wrote about how much better second marriages are compared to first marriages. This is her first marriage!

[–]NightGod 29 points30 points  (0 children)

ROFLMAO. She's two feet, one arm and most of her torso out the door. She's maybe got a shoulder and a left arm still hanging on to the door frame while she's waiting for something specific to happen. The 11 year old must need braces or something....

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I like that outlook on it. Have a point. I never even read it that way with the "looking at each other", as her viewing them as already divorced.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I just hope this poor guy has enough sense to see the writing on the wall.

$100 says his beta ass doesn't, and never will.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agreed. He's probably rubbing one out right now in anticipation of the post lunch sex "when he'll have his wife back."

[–]reddiforlove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excellent post, I think your point about how these women are always strategizing to hide their true motivations is also a key component of a lot of the bullshit we see in feminism today. They've shaped an entire worldview around making AF BB and all of its negative consequences somehow the fault of the patriarchy.

I just hope this poor guy has enough sense to see the writing on the wall.

If this guy was dumb enough to not only marry this massive cunt, but also continue to support her and treat her like gold for years after she began to view him as less than a dog, nothing short of therapy is going to open his eyes. In fact, he seems like such a BB catch that I doubt she's even laying the groundwork for a divorce here, more like a flagrant affair. Unless he loses his job, she's not going anywhere.

[–]LordDongler 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I think I see how my soon to be girlfriend is preparing to dump her current boyfriend.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Branch-swingers gonna branch-swing

[–]LordDongler 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well, I'd be her second boyfriend, so she can't really be called a branch-swinger yet

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a first time for everything... you're just her first.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 100% giveaway was "we're looking at each other over lunch." Um, what? If you're married, you're eating dinners together. You're together, you're not "looking at each other." And you don't bother with formalities like inviting someone to lunch when you've been married 10+ years. Conclusion: the only time all those things are congruent is if they are separated/divorced and visiting each other.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (9 children)

This is a tangential point but this:

Years later, John and I have three kids. I wonder why nobody gave me this head's up: "When you're half dead keeping three humans happy, you won't care about your husband anymore."

is very annoying. Modern American parents think their job is to make their kids happy for some reason. No, their job is to provide security, guidance, rules and comfort.

This obsession with making sure their kids have a perfect childhood makes the parents extremely neurotic and over-involved.

Good parenting is like being an Alpha. Your life needs to be in shape if your kids are going to have any hope of having good parents.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

What you describe already has a name:

Helicopter Parenting

"Perfect" childhoods lead to children growing up to be shitty human beings, ill-equipped to handle the challenges of the real world.

This "Helicopter Parenting" is definitely what this woman is doing, and she's not doing her kids any favors.

[–]NightGod 16 points17 points  (3 children)

My older son is in college, and I will save him from student loans or die trying.

Yes, gods forfend that your little angels have a bill to pay when they're adults. My kids asked me how they're going to pay for college and my response was, "with student loans, just like me-and that's why you need to pick a degree that will actually make you money".

[–]CoriolanusRevisited 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I have an even more brutal response lined up for my future children's college education, and that's the GI Bill just like dear old dad did.

[–]NightGod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My daughter is a 68W.

I served in the 90s in the Reserves, which means I had pre-9/11 GI Bill and was too stupid to use to back then, so student loans it is for me these days.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would like to use that response in the future, but I'm going to have a vasectomy soon before I activate my game.

[–]trplurker 4 points4 points [recovered]

It's projection, she didn't like her childhood and feels she can relive it through her own children. It's a doomed cycle because the children become horribly people not capable of functioning in the real world where there is no mommy or daddy to do shit for you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's exactly what the book The Drama of the Gifted child says. I just read it and it was eery how it described my parents so accurately.

Also to me it seems like this rise in helicopter parenting and other behavior like that described in recent the "Small Dog Syndrome" post correlates to a rise in narcissism.

[–]2Overkillengine 18 points19 points  (4 children)

And this will happen regardless of their background. Hell the ones from a "good" background have even more incentive to lie to your face since they have more social pressure to keep up appearances.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Yes. It is a foolish notion to think that divorce and shitty marriages are exclusive to the domain of the poor and lower class.

[–]ta--df8d71f0 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Newbie with no karma, and I don't need it. But perhaps you or someone else on TRP could give this a look over and pass it around. It's called "Screw the Bitch: Divorce tactics for men" by the famous Loompanics outfit, written in 1991.


[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Holy shit. Where did you find that? I just read the first chapter and its full on TRP...from 1991.

" Many men act as if they believe the feminist propaganda that "it's a man's world," and don't realize how badly the legal deck is stacked against them, in both marriage and divorce. The women's liberation movement has caused restructuring of the laws, to gain "equal rights" for women. At the same time, it has carefully avoided demanding equal responsibility from women. The law often requires the husband to support his exwife, but no law obliges her to continue to cook for him or do his laundry. The result is that the law treats women as not just legally "equal," but specially privileged. This is why, in a divorce, it's the husband who usually gets it in the shorts.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This article makes it obvious that when a woman doesn't have a high SMV male in her life to flaunt she compensates by flaunting how little she values her low SMV male(s).

The whole point of this article is to shit on her beta husband. No matter how draining her 3 kids may be, she will always have some reserve energy designated for shitting on her beta husband.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Great example of how to add your own points to a "BP example" or "hamster example" article.

Men need to understand - no one respects sacrifice. When you put someone's needs above your own and buy into the idea that you exist to provide happiness for others, no one is going to do the same for you. Men think that she or society is keeping a tally of what he has done for her, and he will eventually cash in on that. But sacrifice is for the weak and gullible only, and sacrificing only outs you as one who is easily manipulated.

John is the type of guy who would read an article like this and think "yeah, I'm a noble dude and yeah, it's been miserable for me, but it's all worth it because someone has to make the sacrifice. I'm the good guy here, and that's what matters." I guarantee you he tells himself this on a regular basis in some form.

There's no dignity in a life like this; just like Jordan Belfort says "there's no nobility in poverty", there is NO NOBILITY in sacrifice. If you hamster as hard as John did, then you are honestly better off killing yourself. If you have even a little John in you, it is a cancer that you must eradicate now, because over the years it will grow if allowed to.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (7 children)

Women love their children first. This is biologically quite important. Evolution determined this.

The only model that truly works in LTR is for men to take daddy role over wife and kids.

She isn't your "partner". She isn't a special soul mate to share feeeeeeeeelings with. She isn't on your team. And she doesn't love you. She loves how you make her FEEL.

Being a man seems painfully lonely when you first unplug. Then you realize...You have always been alone.

You just didn't know it

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 31 points32 points  (5 children)

Women love their children first. This is biologically quite important. Evolution determined this.

There is a starke difference between a mother loving their children first and putting their children first in the context of a functional family. Women who do the latter are dooming the family to fail, because eventually she will weed the father out and replace him with big daddy government and child support. This is not good for the child's upbringing.

Discarded fathers today means prison population boys tomorrow. Period.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Help me understand the difference between loving and putting their children first.

Not being an argumentative ass. I want to understand what you mean

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 29 points30 points  (3 children)

If the house is on fire, and my wife can only save herself and my children while I burn in eternal hell, then honey, take the kids and go. That's loving the children over me. The survival of my family's line is more important than my own survival.

If my wife wants to put our kids in a $500/month cheer program, and we discuss how this would have a negative impact on the family finances, how we can't afford it, and she insists that the kids get to do cheer anyways because "that's what the 8 year old wants to do", that's putting the wants of the child ahead of the welfare and needs of the entire family.

That's the best I can explain it. Does that make sense?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yes sir. It explains it perfectly.

Now know this: all women want the best for their kids over anything and everything. It's a man's job to put foot down to say no. Draw boundaries.

I would not get upset with my wife for wanting the cheer program because ..AWALT.

The beta man is scared to say no and upset her. Fights and arguments occur.

I just say no and DGAF about fall out. I expect she wants cheer camp. It's my job to navigate the long term consequences

Do you have kids and a wife? I ask because I have been plugged in and damn close to divorce. I run things quite differently since TRP. I see things as they are and in my opinion....women will do anything for their children. However illogical it seems to us

I don't hold this against them. I just don't ALLOW it

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

So it seems we've reached an accord on this issue. Mommy wants a 9-year old cheer champ. I want a college graduate. And for every dollar blown on cheer lessons, that's one less dollar going into a college fund.

FYI, this was a driving force in making me find TRP a long, long time ago. I was a "just add daddy" guy to a single mother of 2 girls back in my BP days. When it came to bills, they were "our kids". When it came to shit the kids wanted, they were "her kids". See how that works?

She put the wants of her kids above the financial needs of the household. Which is why she's gone today, and I'm now a subscriber of /r/theredpill, and a whole new man as a result.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I see how it works. An almost impossible situation you were in.

I found TRP snooping my wife's emails..

Pain brings the truth out bro

[–]yearlydying 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Flip-side of all this is that people in the comments are blasting this article and the author's attitude to her marriage to bits.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Didn't read the comments. Maybe we can post some "best of" here

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 11 points12 points  (1 child)

This lady sounds like a RPW

Wow - I'm saddened by the fact that you've basically rejected your spouse and that you expect him to wait around until you're children are gone. You entered into this "kids thing" together right? So why are you treating him like a second class citizen?

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, it's glorious. Both men and women are ruthlessly tearing her a new asshole for the way she's neglecting her husband.

[–]Luke631 9 points9 points [recovered]

And yet Rollo is happily married with child.

If you get married, it's all about setting and maintaining the right frame throughout the marriage.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 9 points10 points  (7 children)

Rollo is the exception that proves the rule. He's mastered frame to a level that many of us either cannot or will simply choose not to want to achieve on a daily/weekly/life-long level.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

MRP 2000 members

Gotta be fifty guys there doing it right

[–]real-boethius 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If you get married, it's all about setting and maintaining the right frame throughout the marriage.

Agree this is important but...

This is a bit like saying riding a motorbike is about knowing the conditions and defensive driving.

Sure, to a point, but the fact is that the degree of difficulty is high and you cannot control all or even most of the risk.

While maybe 50% of marriages end in divorce a lot more end in betaization of the man. The percentage of marriages with vibrant sex lives after ten years is low single digits.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Riding a motorcycle is a great metaphor for marriage. Both are inherently fragilizing. Both also have inherent risks and also inherent advantages, and thus when one engages in either, the risks must be assessed, mitigated, and still be prepared for a potential blowup.

[–]watcher45 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sounds like shes fucking her boss on the bathroom while the husband is at home with the he kids.

[–]RedHeimdall 11 points12 points  (1 child)

So she is "99% mother" and "half dead keeping three [kids] happy"... and yet it is her husband who "does the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, makes the kids' lunches, even braids [our] daughter's hair."

So if the guy is doing all the shopping, cooking, laundry and making kids' lunches, why the fuck are you so tired?? He's doing the majority of the mom shit, and to do the remaining fraction of it that falls to you requires "99%" of your energy?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She's tired of being expected to contribute towards a beta male.

[–]1Ronin11A 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fucking brilliant analysis.

[–]faded_jester 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It sucks that so many men have to learn the hard way. I try and do what I can but that line about "people being so entrenched in the matrix they will fight to stay in it" has proven to be remarkably true. For me personally the best way to show them that there is a better way is to live it. If they truly want out eventually they will ask how I "did it".

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tell guys to talk to married men before they get married.

[–]zwiebelsaft 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Excuses, excuses. I have a cousin who has a stay-at-home wife and 4 children of his own and they can make ends meet and be a loving, supportive family. Just stop buying happy meals and clip coupons to make healthy dinners.

[–]GREF_[🍰] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Only in this case, it comes with a nice helping of divorce rape.* *

She's the breadwinner, so it'll actually be her who loses the assets she's worked for, her retirement fund, and have to pay him alimony.

[–]2Overkillengine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Might be the only reason she's still there.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 5 points6 points  (1 child)

What a nightmare.

I've spoken this sentence to John. "Let me be clear: If I have to choose between you or one of the kids, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?"

Let me be clear: if I have to choose between you or regular hot sex, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You may not want to directly say it but that is the frame you need for a marriage. The entire marriage.

[–]KublerRossWasWrong[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

we bought a chihuahua

Something they did together, as a singular unit.

I got pregnant

Something she alone did. I wonder if John was involved.

By the time our son was six months old, I had given Prancer to my mother

The son is theirs, but the dog is now hers.

John and I have three kids.

Prima facie that looks like "we", except she broke the constituent elements into individuals.

my daughter's hair

Her daughter, not "our daughter."

My older son is in college, and I will save him

Her son, whom she alone will save.

My younger son...My daughter

Not theirs together.

John's a great dad, but I play a singular role in each of my kid's lives

Does John not play a singular role in "her" kids lives as well? Do they not play a role together? I would suppose not, based on her writing.

I've only got three life jackets. Who am I going to give them to?

She is in control of her family's--her and her three children's--future. It is apparent that, in her mind, John is not capable of saving anyone, perhaps not even himself.

I love you, believe it or not.

I am not a gambler, but if I were, I would bet that he has made this observation to her.

please, please, ask me to lunch.

It is my private fantasy that the catalyst for her entire self-love-fest is that John has made the rational observation that she does not, in fact, love him and he has, in fact, shutdown. She is hoping he will give her the attention she needs and desires, even though six more years of this selfish behavior will have passed.

It'll be my treat.

Reinforcing her dominance over him as an emancipated, self-reliant woman.

[–]sigmayogi 7 points7 points [recovered]

I do wonder what the reaction would be if roles were reversed. "I am 99% father and 1% husband".

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My landlord are in their 70s, married 50 years. I asked him one day how he kept it together with three kids. He said it was simple, for the good of everyone involved, the marriage came first. Period. Every night the kids went to bed, and they spent dedicated time together. Sex wasn't allowed to wane, nor was each others affection and care for each other. Saving the kids, and of course themselves from a divorce.

They're mid 70s and look like a couple in their first few years still. It's worth noting the man is a no-nonsense, alpha type that lays down the law.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Enough of us have watched our mothers pull this kind of shit on our fathers and stepfathers that we fucking know better.

Skrew beta boy femanized Neo Masculinity. Fuck negotiating desire. Fuck bartering chores for mommy puss. Fuck being treated like shit at the workplace and at home.

Lets embrace Toxic masculinity. Lets embrace paleo masculinity. Lets embrace our great grandfathers masculinity.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Well, fuck that shit.

God... the Hamster is strong with this one. Jesus Christ, what kind of self-respecting guy would stay with a cunt like this? She's publicly announcing that she doesn't love her husband, and that maybe she might take him on a pity date years down the line. I can't believe that less than a year ago, I was okay with shit like this.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I can't believe that less than a year ago, I was okay with shit like this.

Congratulations. You are now aware of reality.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was one hell of a wake-up call.

[–]screamingATtrees 6 points7 points  (2 children)

She can't be 100 percent mother and 100 percent wife?

The fuck kinda math is she using?

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You're not seeing the underlying logic in the title. Her point is, once she's a "mother", she doesn't have to be a wife anymore. Her wifely duties end where the crown of the babies head cross out of her vagina. That is, what was left of her wifely duties after the initial "I do" and the honeymoon phase.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Actually, it sounded like her wifely duties ended when she got the responsibility of being a dog owner.

[–]Waldo00 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The age of entitlement. No one can ever be happy when you expect the world and everything in it to be be perfect. U mean I had a Jo husband three kids and I'm not rich and retired at forty. Fuck John that piece of shit.

[–]Rhenthalin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because neglecting the father of your children is a wonderful example of how to have a relationship for your kids to follow.

[–]sniggity 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Wow, so basically the dude is a sperm donor.

[–]Endorsed ContributorObio1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The ship is going down and "she" has only three life jackets? I'm pretty sure I know who isn't getting one, and it's the bitch who doesn't know how to be a spouse or a parent.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Nature gave us a Heirarchy that we ignore at our peril.

The post is long about how the Beta simply is blind to natural order and allows himself to be treated as a child.

The primary difference between Beta and "all of us" is that we see that nature demands:

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies.

Why would we think a woman would be sexually excited by those below her?

Prince Charming is a massive "mind rape"... it's wrong. Upside down.

Women that don't Charm men are always secretly preparing for Divorce Rape. (or Hypergamy)

[–]GarandTheftAvto 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I love how she puts "career" in quotes. The greatest lie told to legions of young women is that having a white collar job will free you from systemic oppression of women.

No. You just gain entrance into the male centric office world where instead of your body being the commodity like it is on the outside, your soul is gradually sucked out through your labor.

[–]SoldierGenerale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've spoken this sentence to John. "Let me be clear: If I have to choose between you or one of the kids, you will lose every time. Do you have a problem with that?"

Don't women realise they should always put their husbands before their kids? Seriously, if the mother/father relationship is great it will benefit the children.

John needs to divorce this old hag and then she'll find out how important it was to place her husband first.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 20 points21 points  (14 children)

If you are crazy enough to marry and have kids, the plan has to be that she stays home and raises them. Her diminished time in the labor market will ensure that her salary remains lower than yours and keeps her dependent upon your good graces. Married men must fulfill both AF and BB roles. Keeping her locked out of full earning potential will keep the man as the BB. As for remaining in the AF role, the man has to not work too much. Spend some time raising your own kids, working out, going on adventures. If you are working 80 hour weeks and handing your paycheck over to the wife, she will spend it all and feel lonely sans your masculine presence to boot. A husband has to be in control and keep his wife from helicoptering the kids and fucking up the family dynamic.

Wealth begets decadence, and decadence begets moral decay. Stay in the lower-middle or middle-middle class. The strongest families don't have lavish vacations and designer clothing. Good families earn their existence and work toward a better tomorrow, or a better next generation. Delayed gratification builds character in women and children, too.

A lot of guys won't like this. The excuses will be that money solves everything. Get the best career and make the most money. Fuck sluts. Don't get married. Don't make fuck-trophies. Enjoy the decline. Etc. I think that is just a male hamster buying into the same failed policy of feminism, just in a male-centric way.

But, in the end, live your life the way you wish. I will do the same.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (11 children)

I disagree. Instead of making yourself the best you can be, you would rather stunt her ability to be a full fledged person. The weaker she is made the weaker you can afford to be. This is not abundance mentality. This is not self confidence. This is fear that if you have to compete with a woman you will fail.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Wife/Mother material will want to raise children. They won't necessarily frame it that way, but they will be hoping to work part time or work a lower paid job for more flexibility. A lot of women are brainwashed that they must "have it all," which is, of course, nothing but a con. You get what you get.

stunt her ability to be a full fledged person.

Giving her the opportunity to opt out of being a corporate drone is the exact opposite of stunting a woman's growth as a full fledged person.

This is not abundance mentality.

Abundance mentality is the mindset that if your girl cheats on you, or doesn't put any effort to keep you, you can next her and find another girl because there are plenty of girls hitting their prime every day. The fact that you confuse my comment about creating a viable marriage recipe with abundance mentality shows me that you don't truly understand the concepts I am exploring.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Instead of making yourself the best you can be, you would rather stunt her ability to be a full fledged person.

False dichotomy. Who says a woman can't be all she can be, a "full-fledged person," by being a stay-at-home mother? You're insulting a thousand generations of women who self-actualized through nurturing strong, intelligent, inquisitive children.

You're simply parroting feminist ideology you've internalized since childhood. This is TRP, not feministing, chump.

[–]NightGod 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I concur. A true man builds himself up by self-improvement, not through reducing others.

[–]NotQuiteRedPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These women are the fucking worst. It doesn't help that I just read another thread from /u/confuzzledwife or whatever her name is, that started the giant deadbedrooms fiasco. LOL.

[–]ForcesMTAria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, I've got nothing important to add but that entire article made me sick to my fucking stomach. Imagine being in that guy's shoes, it's fucking humiliating.

[–]xdrunkagainx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The sexiest thing a man can do for his wife is say NO!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can understand putting the kids first for the family sake, but the complete disregard for her husband is sickening. Especially, since there is no sense of empathy being expressed by her. Instead, she's casually saying, "fuck him" and is proud of it.

[–]Ak_Float_Flyer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It isn't a very pleasant place to spend time, but the "Love" section of that site is a treasure trove of hamster-think.

Edit: Somehow I ended up on Redbook.

[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

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[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (1 child)

this article raised my blood pressure significantly.

[–]unseen1unknown 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unbelievable how people can actually expect a family to operate like this. Oh I'm sure kids every wish and desire would be granted most of the time, like designer clothes, latest video games and any other materialistic crap. The toll though is a woman working a job and being the breadwinner that leaves her resentful of supporting her husband.

In other cases where the women would leave him in this scenario and take the kids because she's unhaaaapy would it of been worth it? If someone were to tell the horrible truth to the kids "Mum left your dad because she wasn't happy with working so much to afford the lifestyle you have and she got bored of your dad so she nuked the marriage" I'd be willing to bet the kids in this situation would happily take a hit to the lifestyle, with mum not working as much etc if it meant mum and dad would stay together. Really irks me how fucked up people's priorities are when it comes to family and career.

[–]Bellum00 5 points5 points [recovered]

Women tend to overestimate the time it takes to run a household. You have a maid and almost everything is automated, so it takes about two hours each week to keep a clean house. You can alternate cooking and helping with homework, which takes an hour each day tops.

Women also tend to underestimate what children can do for themselves. My coworker just said she gets up at 5h45 to leave for work at 7h30 (1h45). The reason she gave was "getting the children ready". When I was six years of age, my father would order me to get up, wash at the lavatory, put on my uniform and have some breakfast. He would then take me to school (total 45min). That's a one hour difference each day, which is about the time it takes to cook or help with homework.

Put your foot down and raise some self reliant children who help around the house.

[–]Nebulose11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a married man: Build your abundance mentality. When she sees texts from some slut at work, her hamster blows the wheel apart trying to figure shit out.

"He cant leave me, can he?" Of course I can. Your my wife and I love you but if you fuck it up, sure I get the divorce raping, but I have some random pussies just dying for a turn.

[–]UlyssesElias 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just read the article and found it shocking for the author's casual attitude of dismissal towards her husband. Its so demeaning. She is dissing her husband but putting everything into her two sons and one daughter. So two men in her life are getting her "everything" while one man in her life is getting "nothing". Why doesn't she balance things better? Cant she see that no matter how much she gives over her entire life to her sons, if she's ignoring their father then she's giving the men in her family really unhealthy & contradictory messages about how much she loves and values them? How can her sons grow up to be good and healthy and happy men if they see their father massively undervalued and themselves massively overvalued by comparison? Cant she see the repercussions of her own actions? Is she totally lacking in self-awareness? Is it just her or does our society massively overvalue children and undervalue spouses??

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Whilst my mother was by no means this much of a cunt, this makes me feel so sorry for my father and all the others. I'm sure it was never this bad for my dad (and they're not divorced) but there is no doubt that I have always noticed on some level that he has an implicit awareness of the fact that his needs have always been secondary in my mum's mind to the needs of my brother and I when we were kids.

I've felt somewhat guilty about that for several years but couldn't quite understand exactly what I felt bad about or why - until now. It's my parents' 25th anniversary this year and I think I might just take a chunk out of my student loan to give him a kickass experience that he'll love.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't do that, that's fucking stupid. Student loans are not a game.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have the money in my account and have budgeted comfortably for the rest of the year. If I want to get my parents a decent anniversary present to show them that I appreciate everything they have done for me in 22 years then I will do so.

[–]Catabisis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See you in divorce court in a few years when my mistress makes me realize that the grass IS greener on the other side

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yep. Can confirm, my mother loves my sister and I far more than she does my father, and since I'm close with both of my parents, they've asked me about the changes they've seen in me since I took the red pill.

I told my mom flat out that she loves us more than him, and she absolutely could not deny it. She's thought about leaving my old man even, but that's a different demon for her because of her own convictions. I wish I could give my dad the pill, and show him, but this stuff would never stick - even him reading NMMNG he would see a change.

[–]1newworldorder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess im lucky my wife tells me every day that i am more important than our children...and she acts like it too. I believe a strong tool that gets credit for this is BDSM. Im thankful for what my wife does for me amd i honor her with respect.

I can see how others are of the "kids first" mentality and definitely sets the stage for your relationship to fail.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 1 point2 points  (4 children)

For as much as we hear about how acceptable it is for a SAHF while wife goes off to her cubicle hell "career", for all of society applauding you for embracing your new-aged emasculation of diaper changing and building popsicle stick houses, there is one person who will absolutely hate your guts for doing this. You have handed her all of the control, all the frame, all of the responsibility, and like our author, it will destroy her inside. She is not built for it, but will never admit it. Instead the fault will be projected onto the easiest target: you.

You wrote it better than I would have. This is the only outcome in a female breadwinner scenario. If you let a woman take the reins and be the man in the relationship, don't be surprised if she treats you like a bitch.

Women are biologically attracted to masculinity. Women don't want to be the leader. If they're forced into it they will lose respect for you and utterly resent you.

The woman in this article didn't just lose her love for her man, she outright bears contempt for him.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The woman in this article didn't just lose her love for her man, she outright bears contempt for him.

Yep. Hence the "It has to be that way" right there in the title. For all of her apologetic tone, for all of her feigned sorrow about how she's treated her "husband" all these years, at the end of the day, she's perfectly fine treating him like a "second class citizen".

After all, it "has to be this way".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this almost made me sad. It's almost an annoyance to her this guy exists, like a necessary evil.

Good thing that thanks to TRP we will all avoid these situations now. Never get married, there are NO benefits.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I would go fucking ballistic on any woman that talked about me this way. Her ass would be gone so fast it would make your head spin. The complete lack of respect. The relentless shitting on the husband. Even the Matrix-unaware me would never take this kind of shit. Of course, I'd never let it get to this point. Nowhere near.

[–]Yozki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being 99% Mother 1% wife means you're soon to be "50% mother 50% father"

[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

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[–]elcarlosmiguel 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Being attracted to a Men is not a choice, this girl is clearly not atttracted to her husband and it is his fault. don't think you can rationalize into liking someone that's probably what she did to marry him and it wasn't a good choice.

Yeah but you are so special and way more intelligent than this girl right.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That's why I flaired this as a "Blue Pill Example". We are a sub with almost 105,000 subscribers. Occasional reminders about what a Blue Pill marriage drone looks like, is helpful for the newer guys to see what a blue pill schlub looks like. Maybe some guy goes out to a bar this weekend and sees his wife totally dominating his behavior, and he draws a connection between what he sees IRL and what he reads here.

[–]ben0wn4g3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Correct me if I'm wrong. But when its the man who is the breadwinner, its still the women who doesn't want sex.

The fact of the matter is women have 18x less testosterone. Sex isn't as important to them no matter what they claim. When they're fucking like rabbits on the CC its not because they're generally horny and always will be. They're messing around with their biological imperative. Women will only be horny like that before they find a mate. Once a mate is found, and primarily kids are had, they don't need to fuck anymore. Biological instincts achieved.

[–]Christian_Kong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMO there are a lot of people that have cornered themselves into a near suicidal situation due to monotony. People get old and lock themselves in a wake, work, shower, feed, sleep routine that becomes dreadfully boring. They really have nothing going for them. They have nothing to live for. Then they have kids and in essence that becomes their everything. This happens to both sexes. You have men that are knowingly raising other peoples kids, calling them their son, because the want to have something to live for is that strong.

[–]Riddick_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey guys... here she is again, writing this gem: How to Make Sex Get Better With Age Yes, you can enhance your love life over time. -> http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/advice/a25401/older-sex/

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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