Sex is not that good (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by skoobled

Hi all,

I've been posting on here for a while, but this is my first topic, so hi! I had a thought for an attitude that I think I've had most of my adult life, and I think it is positive, constructive, and in line with "RP thought", so I present it here for your thoughts and input. It's very simple:

Sex is not that good

So let me explain: TRP is all about bettering yourself, it's not MGOTW, but we encourage the idea that sex should be a collateral benefit of being a high quality man. In our culture I think there is a strong trope that encourages the idea that sex is the greatest thing in life, the highest physical, spiritual, emotional experience, etc. etc. I would like to present the idea that this is plugged-in, dare-i-say-it BP thinking. I think it's touched upon when people look down on PUAs as well.

I'm not going to pretend to be the greatest player, but I have had enough sex, and enough partners to realise that sex is sometimes incredible, but also quite often mundane. I remember thinking this quite a lot when I first became sexually active in my teens: is this it? This thing everyone constantly talks about, so much anticipation, but when you start actively doing it... It's... Alright... But not always... Maybe i'm not doing it right...? But then you have some amazing experiences... But then a few more that are just ok, or even bad, awkward, unsatisfying, etc... Or basically often not worth the trouble

I encourage you all not to get lost in male ego: don't respond with: "bro, you suck. I get 10s constantly and everytime it's incredible: the earth moves, thunder lightning, she cums 10 times, etc. etc". I'm sure there are plenty of guys on here who get more, hotter women than me, and congrats to those guys. But as we often acknowledge, the hotter the girl, the higher your necessary investment. Even if you are a higher value guy. But at the same time, I'm sure there are guys on here that I "do better" than. And to those I say: yeah, maybe I do better, but whatever. It all comes at a cost and often I still remind myself: at the end of the day sex isn't that good

Think about all the other things you do and enjoy: hanging with your friends, lifting, going for a run, enjoying a concert, traveling, whatever. Many of those things come at some cost, but we do them because we enjoy them. Would you enjoy going to a concert if doing so risked you being exploited or humiliated, being made to feel like less of a person? Of course not. But unfortunately we have to weather this storm to enjoy women. It sucks, but that's just how it is. Sex often comes at a high personal cost, and when you finally gain the prize you often have to ask yourself, was it really worth it? I'd like men here to be more public about the idea that sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't

Sex is not that good. Sex is not worth having you time and spirit sucked out of you. Remind yourself of this and I think this helps you to know when to say no. Remember that sex should be just one of the many things you enjoy in life. Also, consider that culture drugs us into believing that sex is the greatest human experience in order to make you a slave to women.

Yes, pursue sex. Yes, improve yourself. Yes, meet women. Yes, improve your game. But know when to walk away because sex is not that good

I hope I commuicated this is a positive and encouraging way. I'm not MGOTW, but I think TRP preaches that women should not be the centre of your life. Instead they should be wonderful decorations, but the core is what you build for yourself. As such, we should all remind ourselves that sex is not that good.


Apologies for any typos; phone post

Edit 1: Thanks for all the input, guys - lots of interesting and lively debate. I should probably clarify that I'm being somewhat deliberately provocative with my thread topic/motto. A clearer explanation, as contributed here, would be *like the pussy, take sex off the pedestal too". The original stands as a provocative crystallisation of what I'm getting at, though

Edit 2: no idea why I thought this was still my first topic - it's actually my 8th... Oops

[–]coolwords 272 points273 points  (29 children)

I fully agree. Yes, many here will probably end up going on the defensive as you predicted, but if you can get past that initial reaction and think about what this man is saying, you will know it to be true.

Sex is highly overrated. More often than not, it is not the ultimate experience society makes it out to be; at least not for (and with) the vast majority of people.

Once you've unplugged from the brainwashing which inflates the perceived value of sex, turning it into a true value proposition then becomes an issue of;

a. Improving the quality of sex you're having, and

b. Reducing the investment you need to put in to get it.

Both of which are mostly accomplished by improving yourself. So while many of the men reading this may not end up agreeing with (or dare I say, realizing) what you are saying, TRP ends up putting them on the right path to fulfillment regardless.

[–]skoobled[S] 60 points61 points  (21 children)

Amen. Glad I was able to get my point across, and you've clarified a few things I was trying to say. I think the clearest point is, as you say, regardless of who you are, sex IS overrated. No question about it. What's more, even the male ego itself further facilitates this. We're supposed to be about unplugging, and the danger of our own egos is a topic that I never see discussed on here. It should be

[–]FUTBALAR 46 points46 points [recovered]

I remember this one time, I was telling of a story (to group of friends) of me playing soccer in a tournament. I precisely remember using the term "it felt better than sex" when describing how it felt when I scored the winning goal at the last remaining minute. I wasn't exaggerating. It actually did feel better than sex.
I clearly remember the look of shock and denial on everyone's faces, especially the girls. They just could not believe it. Every single one of them claimed that I was either a virgin or haven't had sex the proper way.
If you truly haven't experienced anything that felt better than sex, you need to set up your life.

[–]donaldcicc 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I remember working in my lab while an undergrad. An experiment I was running produced results which were the exact opposite of what we expected. We reran a few times to confirm. It seemed I had discovered something that no one else had yet. A few days later we found out it had been discovered already, by Chinese and we had not read their paper prior to our experiment. For those few days I was euphoric. Still the best sensations, mental state I have ever felt.

[–]ChadThundercockII 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just ask in fighter how it felt to win to be a champion. Sex doesn't come even close to it. Winning >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> orgasm.

[–]revengeofthecrazy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was the moment when these girls lost not just all their power, but also their life purpose. How could you man ;).

[–]coolwords 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Well, while I agree with the truth of what you're saying, I believe I may be able to explain why it is not that frequently discussed here based on my own experiences.

In my BP days of being a video gaming, mediocre-job-holding, out of shape serial monogamist, I still agreed with everything you said. In fact, I agreed much more strongly, much more emotionally than I do now.

As I started to unplug, get into shape, improve my financial condition, started taking less shit from people, and just go through an overall process of finding my balls again, my sex drive started to increase as well. I now realize that as Men, our sex drive is deeply rooted in feeling powerful.

The more you reap the mental and physical rewards of unplugging (and your own effort that follows it), the smaller the gap between it's value to you and it's value as advertised by society becomes.

Yes, society inflates this value to godly proportions, and that gap will never be 0. However, these type of messages, while completely true, may be too close to BP->MGTOW mentalities to be useful to newcomers who still lack the perspective of having truly been unplugged for a long enough time, and through enough life experiences.

Which may be why these topics aren't favored that much here.

[–]RP_Vergil 14 points15 points  (2 children)

"A wise man once said, everything is about sex. But sex, is about Power."

[–]-Quotidian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It all comes back to power. Foucault really knew what he was talking about, there.

[–]-Quotidian 21 points22 points  (9 children)

I've never understood how anyone could be pussy-whipped. I never saw the reward of sex as being equal to the work their relationships seemed to be. They handed their SOs the whip and reins, and for what?

I'm often told I'm the most stubborn person anyone's ever known, and it's true that I'm willing to lock horns over pretty stupid shit, but goddamn have I pissed off more women than men by calling them out on bullshit. Whatever value their pussy may have had, their character made them a terrible investment. Sayonara, nightmare.

[–]UmphreysMcGee 7 points8 points  (8 children)

They're idiots. I have great sex all the time, but the truth is, rarely is it even the most satisfying thing I experienced that day.

[–]kellykebab 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Just curious, but what is a typical activity you enjoy more than sex?

[–]TechnoRaptor 6 points7 points  (4 children)

eating an amazing meal. taking that hour nap after class. I mean think about it, when you are really tired and exhausted after work or class, what sounds better, pound town? or a shutting your eyes in a comfy bed or couch. Sex is truly enjoyed when everything else on the pyramid of needs is satisfied.

[–]fresh38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What sounds better is her on top doing the work if Im that tired.

[–]kalstate 0 points1 point  (1 child)

on the pyramid of needs

Interesting idea. I wonder if TRP has addressed/confirmed/tested/or attempted to reorganize Maslow's hierarchy of needs to something more thorough/modern. Thoughts?

Edit: should have added convenient link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

[–]-Quotidian 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I often hesitated, in my BP days, to make that final push with a woman. Honestly, it was cringe-worthy. I know now that I recognized them, on some level, as being low-value relationship material. The sex probably would have been fine, but I didn't want the intimacy with those women I'd come to believe sex would bring.

Even when I was blue, I knew when women weren't worth a relationship. My question for you is: how does one improve the quality of the sex they have? Learn what kind of women they prefer, or recognize when they have the same tastes? Improving one's own fitness is a great first step, and exploring different variations of sexual aggression, foreplay, or kink seem similarly conducive…but I get the impression you were referring to something else. Were you?

[–]sweetleef 8 points9 points  (1 child)

My question for you is: how does one improve the quality of the sex they have?

That's an interesting thing to consider. It most certainly does not correlate to hotness, intelligence or education.

Looking back on it, I'd say that the best experiences were those (too few) times when the woman wanted me as much as I wanted her. Not that the women actually wanted sex, but that they wanted to be connected to me. and genuinely wanted me to enjoy it.

And maybe that explains part of why it's usually so unsatisfying and not worth the cost - the extreme selfishness and egoism of most women make it into a transactional exercise, which eliminates the exact element that could make it a really great experience. They are doing a chore solely for some type of profit, and not selflessly giving of themselves for your happiness.

If that is the key element, it's another point in favor of the general RP theme of maximizing yourself and your own happiness, which will in turn make others want to be part of your life.

[–]-Quotidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Investment, then…fascinating. It certainly fits.

Sounds like good sex would come from gaming chicks who send serious IOIs, share interests, or admire you, then?

Heh. I'm always happy to see that people get that--that drive to maximize their potential and self-actualize. I know so few people in life who believe that's even possible. Most people struggle with the idea that there's no end to that journey, since we're naturally inclined to avoid struggle when we can.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Most chicks don't know how to fuck is the problem. You can never tell until you bang, and by then you've had to invest yourself in all sorts of ways. Just to have some dead fuck bitch. My advice? Find whatever girl bangs you the best and try to LTR that good lay.

More specifically, find someone who's on your page sexually, and then keep them a part of your life.

Of course, if she's a shithead, move on and find another. If your game is good, you won't have any trouble, it's just a game of chance whether or not they know how to fuck.

[–]WakingUpAlice 7 points7 points [recovered]

Sex is so romanticized in western society that you really are better off waiting for marriage and finding a partner who loves you for more than your cock because a women controls you through sex as a reward. Take away your sexual obsession and you take away her power.

[–]iopq 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, you're much better off knowing that it's not that great. Once you've had sex and you're like "well... it's a good wank... sometimes it's worse" then you suddenly don't care that much about it

[–]theredpoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage? Horrible idea for so many reasons.

[–]TheFriendWithin 91 points92 points  (2 children)


People preach 'dont put women on pedestals', but they continue to place sex on a pedestal. That's the same thing.

"sex is a lot more exciting on the screen and between the pages, than between the sheets"

EDIT: Misquoted

[–][deleted] 215 points216 points  (20 children)

I am about to say something that goes against TRP philosophy and will probably get me downvoted to oblivion, but I accept my fate.

To have really great mind blowing sex you have to have an emotional connection. If you're out there being a player having ONSs you're not going to experience this. I'm not even saying this is exclusive to monogamy, you can very well have an emotional connection with your plates. All I am saying is the barrier between mediocre sex and mind blowingly great sex is psychological, not physiological. You have to be emotionally invested in someone to truly have awesome sex.

[–]skoobled[S] 44 points45 points  (3 children)

I don't think this is contradictory at all. I don't think TRP preaches that either ONS or plates are superior. I definitely agree with you, though. I haven't had many ONS but I think the best policy with those is to enjoy the excitement, spontaneity and somewhat subversiveness of them. On the other hand, I hate drunk night sex, and this is often the reason I'm not willing to invest in drunken ONS. To me the best sex is sobre, and in the afternoon, but that's subjective.

Plates have better scope for great sex because you have some practice, familiarity, and yes, emotion involved. TRP only warns against the dangers of oneitis, which is risky with what mainstream culture defines as emotional connection. It's certainly possible without that neediness risk, but a man must be careful

Another male ego/sex trope that I'd also like to rail against is the often supposed superiority of first time sex. This has rarely been the case for me. Rather once the deal has been sealed you are both more able to enjoy yourselves

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Another male ego/sex trope that I'd also like to rail against is the often supposed superiority of first time sex. This has rarely been the case for me. Rather once the deal has been sealed you are both more able to enjoy yourselves

Yep. I think it was Mark Manson who said "The first time you have sex with someone is usually the worst time you have sex with them."

Once you and your partner become comfortable around each other, familiar with each others' turn-ons, and establish an emotional connection the sex gets a lot better.

[–]1xwm 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not to mention you get to know each others likes and turnoffs. I don't know which playbook is telling women to just go to fucking town on the head, or that faster is always better, but its like a three week process to correct that shit.

[–]asdfghjkltyu[🍰] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

To have really great mind blowing sex you have to have an emotional connection. If you're out there being a player having ONSs you're not going to experience this.

It also dulls with the more people you experience it with. I remember when I got into my first proper LTR in my early 20s the sex was significantly better. But for every successive relationship that thrill reduces, to the point that its just 'eh' now.

Sometimes it comes across as more of a chore. I don't think it helps that society portrays sex as more a man pleasing his woman rather than a man enjoying himself. Its like a performance rather than a show.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it comes across as more of a chore.

That's why no ma'am was founded.

It also dulls with the more people you experience it with. I remember when I got into my first proper LTR in my early 20s the sex was significantly better.

Yep. That's why the idea that men don't pair bond is ignorant. We do, just not to the same extent, and not based on the same criteria.

[–]rztzz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is true 90% of the time.

For me there has also been 3 experiences when the girl is just naturally submissive and I start spanking her silly, putting her on my lap, etc. and that is instant hot sex for me without any emotional intimacy.

But yes most of the time it's sex during 1 month-1year relationships.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Agreed, same realization here. Fucking women you don't like is not fun and it's boring, it't like going to a hairdresser - it's unusual stuff, it is kind of pleasant, yet you somehow wish it's done faster. And when it's done you forget about it.

[–]through_a_ways 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's the "useful lie".

Being too rational isn't a good thing. To properly enjoy life, one must be deluded on several different levels. Romantic love/emotional connections are just another one of these delusions.

By "delusions" I don't mean something that you consciously believe in. You can be redpilled as all fuck and still be deluded if you "feel" emotionally connected to people, partners, things, ideas, etc. You wouldn't function if your feelings didn't lie to you.

[–]truchisoft 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How is that against TRP philosophy if it's the basis of one of its canon books, "Models"?

The whole idea of spinning plates is loving them, as an independent man can, without commitment, and leaving them better than they arrived.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Many here preach the DEVI system, so it's not really counter trp at all.

[–]theredpoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree. Funny how this got voted up after your preface. :)

[–]Donald_Fuck 22 points23 points  (3 children)

It's the acceptance and intimacy that I sometimes crave that comes with sex.

[–]Swanksterino 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think that acceptance /validation thing is a salient point. A good thing to remember concerning the work done here.

[–]cariboo_j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaand that's how you get sucked into their frame.

[–]poptart_fiend 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yup. Mainstream media exaggerates the fuck out of sex to sell, well, everything. Movies, TV, advertising, nightlife, fashion are almost entirely based on sex. It's a marketing ploy to get you into an excited/stimulated state so you pay attention and then associate the product with increasing your chances of procreating, of feeling love, acceptance, etc.

In countries that aren't so brainwashed by advertising and consumerism, the female breast actually isn't considered sexual and is openly shown. This was even the case in France (the breast was only sexualized during sex - female nudity was extremely common at all beaches etc) until American type advertising became more common in the past couple decades. Now all the women are covering up.

Become successful and sex will be there when you want it. Becoming obsessed with it is, as OP said, is actually blue pill and plays right into the system.

[–]amotg 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Here is my two cents: Sex to men is like diamonds to women.

Over the last century, the company De Beers has manufactured demand for diamonds. In reality, diamonds are everywhere. They are incredibly common. But, this one company (De Beers) has a monopoly over all of the diamond sources. It ran an advertising campaign long ago which said that a man should spend a few months of income on an engagement ring. Since then, women have wanted diamonds before marriage and diamonds have turned into something that give women immense social value.

Likewise, there is a manufactured demand for sex. Just like diamonds, sex is everywhere. Women are everywhere. Pussy is abundant. But women have a monopoly over it and it has screwed up the supply and demand. Sure, men on a very basic level want sex, but it is not nearly as valuable or worthwhile as it is being sold as.

[–]TheNarrowRoad 55 points55 points [recovered]

the act of sex is not the best feeling, but sex is about power. Being the kind of guy who girls will fuck willingly is a great feeling

[–]starvinmarvin30 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Even better feeling when they get lost in the moment and tell you to come inside them...Alpha Fux placement confirmed!

[–]MGTOW_player 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Careful with busting in girls. It's something I don't do raw ever anymore after knocking a girl up. Don't learn the hard way.

The temporary pleasure is not worth the scare or results if she has it.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I feel the same as you OP. After my divorce I became a man-whore and went from 5 partners to somewhere north of 30 in 2 years. I lost count. These days It's just not worth the effort. It's really not that great, and I am especially tired of the obligatory bar scene that goes along with the tail chasing. I know that if I realllllly want some ass, I can generally get it, but seriously.. it's not all that much better than my hand, and my hand sure is quieter.

[–]starvinmarvin30 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not all that much better than my hand, and my hand sure is quieter.

My hand is also safer. I don't have to wait nervously at the doctors office after.

[–]VinylGuy420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And it takes about 30 minutes rather then hours beforehand and afterward. Rub one out and get back to the things you enjoy doing. Plus it's free...

I'm not saying abstain forever, especially if you have plates to call up, but rather it was less stressful and time consuming.

[–]SlickThroatButter 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Winston, why is my carriage always surrounded by filthy beggars asking for bread?

Well, master, I imagine that they don't come across bread very often.

How absurd! Bread isn't that special!

[–]RedHeimdall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It's a relatively basic requirement. After food, water, clothing and shelter to maintain physical survival, you want social interaction and sex. For all of these things, it's true that they ain't everything, but they sure will feel like they are everything if you lack them.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (20 children)

You're right, sex, in and of itself, is not that good.

Having a girl get off because you're dominating her; that shit's phenomenal.

[–]throwaway-aa2 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Holy shit. Yes. A million times yes.

if the girl gets off being dominated... it's intensely primal and enjoyable. There is nothing really quite like dominating your woman and her beg for more.

The first time couple of times I first had sex... I really couldn't get off by intercourse. But once the sex got rougher and I started to take charge... amazing. Multiple "eye rolling" orgasms from her, and I had to start looking away from her and thinking about ugly women... lol

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Being dominate kicks it up to a whole new level, but when it gets her off that it's YOU doing the dominating,shit is just beyond.

[–]aptway 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A recent plate I got was moaning gibberish and my name a couple days ago as I was giving it to her rough- I didn't actually come myself, but she definitely did. Multiple times.

There's something primal about that which just makes you feel validated as a man when you can evoke that kind of a response, and it really does take the sex to the next level.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Which is why every man should read The Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. It's a great guide on how to be a dominant, aggressive lover.

[–]torchbearer101 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Any reason that it is listed for 1k on Amazon?

[–]1knitro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No, you should be able to find a free pdf with a little looking.

I'd link you but I can't access torrent sites right now.

[–]torchbearer101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I'm sure I won't have an trouble finding it for free. Just sparked my curiosity with the price.

[–][deleted] 9 points9 points

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[–]Backfist 18 points19 points  (6 children)

Make a post. "TRP, Bath Houses and Butsex, the Final Frontier of the MGTOW. You'll be in the sidebar in no time.

[–]cariboo_j 11 points12 points  (2 children)

"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

-random roman graffiti in Pompeii

[–]newls 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice post but fuck Gawker. Link to source.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The ultimate alpha experience!

[–]cariboo_j 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What's more alpha than... dominating another alpha?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (8 children)

I think the defining factor of the BP fantasy is not the sex but the idea of "falling in love." Sex is supposed to go hand in hand with this concept but it's the relationship that people desire most. As much as we like to poke fun at the BP mindset, I'm sure a lot of us wouldn't mind if it actually was reality.

If I've learned anything in life, it is that good things rarely come easy. Sex is easy to come by. It feels good and with the invention of contraceptives and abortion is relatively consequence free. Not to mention our cultures insistence that life is just one big party so nobody will judge.

A committed, worthwhile relationship takes loyalty and discipline. It requires you that you share values and know your roles in the relationship. It requires compromise in understanding that your part of something bigger than yourself -- your children.

That's where our primal instincts take us. That's where the focus should be in a healthy society.

[–]the_code_always_wins 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Yep. It just sucks that society does such a terrible job of encouraging this.

If I want to break my leasing agreement, I have to pay quite a lot of money. If a woman wants to break up her marriage, she gets cash and prizes for doing so.

[–]bluedrygrass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To the point that's even difficult to think that society isn't actively trying to encourage the opposite.

[–]PaperbackParrot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Also, consider that culture drugs us into believing that sex is the greatest human experience in order to make you a slave to women."

The two big ideas I take from your article are this one, as well as that of the ego that accompanies trying to get laid and be the "baddest alpha" you can be. Both of these would be great follow-up posts for you or anyone who knows what they are talking about.

Good Post.

[–]scapeity 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I had... a very RP grandfather. He was strange as hell, but RP.

He told me, at 15 years old... that if before going out with a girl, you rub one out, and still want to be around her, thats one thing...

but if you rub one out and want to cancel the date, cancel it.

[–]doritoesNcoffee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The Japanese even have a word for this: Kenjataimu. Basically rub one out before every important decision in your life, when a man orgasms, a hormon called prolactin is released and it is the only time when sex is not on a men's mind.


[–]JetteAuLoinTRP 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He who loves fame considers another man's activity to be his own good; and he who loves pleasure, his own sensations; but he who has understanding, considers his own acts to be his own good.

- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book Six

Yeah. Sex isn't that great. And a man shouldn't find it's happiness in pleasures, but in the knowledge that, throughout his life, he just does what is right. And that's the only thing that will truely satisfy you.

[–]jedlucid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i only have sex to masturbate to it later anyways.

[–]cariboo_j 44 points45 points  (26 children)

*sex with a condom is not that good

[–]Echelon64 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Oh god this, when my last LTR started using the pill I thanked the gods above.

Necessary evil I know but fuck me if I don't hate them.

[–]asdkt 13 points14 points  (3 children)

My last LTR proposed the idea because she wanted no condom, but how can you trust a woman to take it every day so it works? I said she should take it but I would still use a condom. I just feel like that's my entire life on her shoulders...

[–]2Overkillengine 4 points5 points  (2 children)


And don't let anyone know you have had one. It works out to be a wonderful test of character.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I didn't tell a soul when I got mine. It's like having a secret superpower. Impervious to babies.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my plates has had a hysterectomy, so I went ahead and told her I'm getting a vasectomy. Works great for dread game in that case.

[–]newls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My last LTR had the rod which goes in a girl's arm. By god it was amazing to have a year of condom-less sex. But she took it out in the end because she gradually got longer periods until they lasted like 3-4 weeks at a time.

[–][deleted] 15 points15 points

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[–]cariboo_j 25 points26 points  (0 children)

and sex without a condom isn't worth 18 years of child support.


All hail Stardusk.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Biggest exaggeration I've read on reddit in a while

[–]AKnightAlone 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Is it really? Because to me, sex with a condom isn't worth sex. I feel nothing. It's like looking at a girl.

[–]Shade_Raven 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Then you have a really desensitized penis

[–]wolfNshepherd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For several months after I started having sex I thought I was physically incapable of coming with a condom on.

[–]trpMilo 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Hahaha yeah this. I find lubing it up real well makes it a bit more bearable, most girls can't get consistently wet enough for a condom to feel good for the dude

[–]1xwm 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Not to mention they all seem to be too small. I mean the condom fits fine, but that little fucking ring at the bottom. I don't care if its a magnum xxl, that thing is still squeezing the fuck out of me

[–]thibit 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Check out the sidebar and such with /r/bigdickproblems. This problem is not uncommon in the USA for the more endowed.

[–]johnbranflake 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I have a completely average penis and that ring still hurts after having sex for a few minutes

[–]1xwm 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Interesting, I'll have to check that out. I try not to brag on the internet about it because why fucking bother, but it really can be a pain sometimes.

[–]Shade_Raven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trust me, some of us know. You'll find help in that sub

[–]T_H_E_T_R_U_T_H 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree. I had a long dry spell for awhile. Had a girl I was seeing, but work and classes started ramping up and I simply didn't have time. Once all of that petered out I found myself struggling to find a girl.

But I did find one. And we had sex. It was fun, but I found myself wondering why I was dwelling so hard on it for such a long time.

Then again, I'm more than likely going to end up GMOW. It suits me better being the rugged individualist I am.

[–]Stythe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The best sex is when I feel the most open which is when I have the best connection. I have that when I meet someone who matches my values and fits my dynamic. That's when I have sex. Otherwise, I can use my hand, hit all my sweet spots and finish in 5 minutes, then get back to whatever I was doing.

Sex for many people is a drug.

[–]BowlOfCandy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Welcome to abundance mentality. The quest for pussy is like the tomato sauce that you let simmer in the pot. You can always open a jar of Ragu, but slow cooking that homemade goodness is always worth the wait.

[–]changshuaidiao 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Gimme a six that swallows over an eight that spits any day.

[–]UlyssesElias 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I LOVE this post because it is so honest & human. Thank you for being man enough to SAY IT! Sex is sometimes/often DISAPPOINTING

AND I also love that you anticipated that a few blog-cloggers would post shit saying that sex is always great for them blah blah because they are such thundercocks and their chicks are such thundercunts.

It's true that sex is sometimes pretty fraught and sometimes wonderful and oftentimes totally shit.

Isn't sex allowed to be sometimes okay, sometimes blah, sometimes a chore, sometime great, sometimes terrific and very, very occasionally special and exhilarating and astonishing?

Of course it is.

And ---- I can't help but supposing its just as thrilling and disappointing for gay guys. hetero girls and gay girls.

Hmmm jut sayin'

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree, but with one caveat - sex isn't that great or important if you have true abundance. If you're not getting sex on a regular basis, then it is very important. Not just the actual jizzle skeet skeet feels, but the after effects on your stress levels and psyche. If you're not getting regular sex, it's a deficiency of the primal order. If you are, it's just one of the things you enjoy doing.

[–]richardnorth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The value of sex is artificially inflated to support women's bargaining position when it comes to getting a man to marry her.

It absolutely is overrated.

[–]occupythekitchen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and furthermore i think women need it to be a high value commodity. Imagine if men started thinking sex is nice not great. All of a sudden the advantage women have for having sex at any time they want loses its value. They aren't cool getting lots of sex simply sluts abusing males sexuality, no more shaming saying "oh you just cant get laid" and other to go phrases they use.

I think this is an interesting point, because men are often victims and exploited by their own sexuality and then are criticized if she doesn't like it. It can be for some people lose lose and today we lose that soul sharing experience because we simply can't trust a modern woman anymore. Sex is being devalued it is no longer at an all time high as it used to be. The spiritual experience has faded and in turn it has become more like an exercise than something meaningful.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

they should be wonderful decorations, but the core is what you build for yourself

Couldn't agree more. We need to be striving to build something of our own as men. To do something important. To be remembered. Women and sex are great, but it will take a back seat if you're on your way to something great.

Ironically, that'll only make you that much more attractive.

Seems to me you're on the right path.

[–]Ezreal3 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Have you ever had sex on drugs?

[–]bluedrygrass 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If you need drugs for sex to be considered worth it, you're just confirming op's point.

[–]Ezreal3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have sex sober 9 times out of 10.

But for that special occasion I love to use a stimulant or hallucinogen for an incredible 3 hour session of pure hedonism. Words cannot describe.

[–]BMW1M 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah I have some good sex, but it doesn't even compare to some good cocaine. However you feel terrible after the cocaine wears off, so maybe it doesn't count.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But sex while on cocaine is better than the cocaine itself.

Cocaine is easily one of the most overrated drugs though imo.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Sex with a virgin is 100000x better than having sex with a slut. She was 100000x harder to get and 100000x tighter.

I almost died at 17 when I lost control on a mountain road racing my car. My thought before I crashed was that I was going to die a virgin.

I almost died doing the same shit again when I was 21(not a virgin) and my only thought before I hit a tree was I didn't contribute enough to society according to my own goals.

I agree, sex is overrated. Pursue your goals, not women. Women will pursue you when you pursue your goals.

[–]denmaur 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What do you want to contribute to society? I always thought taxes were more than enough.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It made me laugh too. What has society ever done except take?

[–]MidlifeAwakening 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Had very good quality sex with my wife on Friday night (got married long before I found TRP). I then went for an off road bike ride with my young son on Saturday morning, the bike ride was far more satisfying.

[–]1Soarinc 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I gotta say that as a recreational fisherman, I had fished for years and never caught a fish bigger than 1.5 pounds. My brother once caught a 5 pound bass and I was envious for about 2 years (granted i was 8-9 years old) and then fast forward to my late 20's when I had not gone fishing for over a decade and just through sheer, newbie luck caught a 60 pound fish on a public fishing pier, it overwhelmed me and it was word-for-word the exact description which you said sex IS NOT but only because I was never expecting to catch that monster fish!

the earth moves, thunder lightning and your whole body is trembling with adrenaline like you just hit a grand slam on game 7 of the world series!!

I think each person has their passion and they just gotta find it. If they have no interests, no hobbies, no recreational activities, then "sex" is sorta like the default, backup option. I agree that sex is over-rated ESPECIALLY if you have watched porn before ever getting laid. There's no way sex can ever be as fun as that fictitious representation of it portrays.

To some people, sex is freedom, it is "scoring" or validation by women, etc...

To most people sex is just sex, and it's definitely one of the most fun things to do but it's also over-hyped and I go through like a 5-minute dysphoria afterward when it's with a new girl or someone I regret hooking up with. Also worth noting, Post-coital tristesse (PCT) is a feeling of melancholy after sexual intercourse and might occur in some men

[–]kazaul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I chuckled at sex is the default, backup option. Not quite sure why but it rings very true.

[–]starvinmarvin30 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TRP preaches "take the pussy off the pedestal" which can also mean sex. Once you are no longer a mental slave to sex, the "pussy" will never have power over you again. Only then will you truly be free.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed completely. I was thinking about writing something like that, but you beat me to it. My thoughts exactly. Sex is good, but it isn't the greatest thing in life, even though gynocentric society wants you to think it is (to artificially inflate the value of women to men, because they have no self-value, only the value that men see in them).

[–]obnel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very well put and something that I think many men feel, deep down inside. I myself have always thought this and said it too. The idea that sex is the most important, most defining thing about a man is deeply ingrained into the psyche of western men. It's one of those things that are almost taboo and heretical to disagree with.

[–]1theoctopuss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I learned this in college. I noticed that some of my less successful friends from high school would do anything for some pussy, even with a busted 5 or 6. By this time I had been with ~10 girls, with lots of experience (a few were LTRs) and just didn't get it.

Yeah, it feels good to bust a nut, but it doesn't feel good enough to spend hundreds of dollars on food, gas, booze, or other drugs.

[–]Sir_Shitlord_focker 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's the condom, I never understood what the big deal was about sex before I tried without a condom... no joke.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

sex is fun but so over rated and over hyped by TV and the media. You shouldnt watch porn either or that will desensitise you to feeling numb over the real thing.

[–]1aguy01 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I think a man's testosterone level has a lot to do with how worth it sex is.

[–]1ass 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is where the converted Redpillers acting like Alphas simply cannot even try to emulate a real Alpha (and it is possible they are better off for not having to be a biological alpha).

The real Alpha has biology on his side that makes sex the end all be all of pleasure, nothing beats it, no accomplishment, no friendship, and certainly no love.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

consider that culture drugs us into believing that sex is the greatest human experience in order to make you a slave to women

Not culture, evolution. You're only here, because someone made the financially-unsound decision to reproduce.

Although you might argue that the decline of the West has encouraged hedonistic overindulgence in all drugs, including sex.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OP I agree 200%.

But once you've had some really really really really really.....really good pussy...

Opinions change.

[–]StyleandSpeed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. On top of that, you have to deal with constant shit tests and jump through other various hoops of fire just to feel half hour worth of pleasure on your cock. Its a biological need that we need to overcome.

[–]-Quotidian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A journey is simply a series of steps, but the first step is not always simple. If someone looking to unplug were to read something like this first, they might not be so motivated to improve themselves.

But it needs to be said. The Red Pill is bitter medicine, but the best kinds tend to be and this is no different. This needs to be discussed more.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think this is a pretty valid assessment and society, through media or peer pressure, loves to make sex look like an end goal. As we know the feminine imperative is to get men to pursue women so they have all the options. So sex on the pedestal is absolutely necessary to keep their beta-provider fed ponzi scheme going; and to artificially bump up the value of sex.

"Sex is not that good" is a lesser stated part of abundance mentality - not only should you have plenty of options in women, you demonstrate your time is valuable by having an interesting life with lots of other fun things you could be doing instead. A nice post OP, it's good to muse on that subtle variation on a common TRP theme.

[–]RPthrowaway123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sex is pretty good, but it's not that good. The value of sex has became way over-inflated these days, to the point where a man without pussy is considered basically worthless no matter what else he has going for him. Women have made it this way, ironically, by being sluts but only for that top 20%. This makes the other 80% "worthless" until these women decide to settle (in their minds) for the beta. Betas eat it up because they've been considered worthless for so long. It's humiliating.

I've had women actually get angry at me for not wanting to have with them. They're convinced that sex is the end-all, be-all but they couldn't be further from the truth. Sex is nice, but it's not worth the price they're charging.

[–]Doomsday_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sex is not worth having you[r] time and spirit sucked out of you.

Quite true. And this is why it's important to have high standards and expectations of the women you allow into your life. Train them well and make them work hard to please you, and they can provide much more than just sex.

[–]krustytheclown2 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Try anal sex without a condom (a viable option for LTRs tho). There is nothing better than that.

[–]skoobled[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Haha. Oh I've been there enough times to know it's not for me. But if it's for you, cool, have fun

[–]cariboo_j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you just gotta make sure the coast is clear

[–]DreamBoatGuy25 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Doesn't anal with or without a condom require a lot of "preparation"(i.e. an enema) in order to not be messy and gross?

[–][deleted] 8 points8 points

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[–]RedVladimir 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does it say about me (and some men) that after reading this, I still want to try it without a condom? Fuck.

(Have only done it twice with a condom and preparation.)

[–]longjohnboy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not in my experience. Can have some slight mess, and you wouldn't want to stick it in another orifice afterward without washing, but it's not really an issue (unless you can't handle a slight amount of "icky"). In other words, if you can't handle period blood, then maybe the butt's not for you.

[–]BMOGn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's what I thought too, but the girl I do anal with doesn't do any of that. The only thing she has to do is shove a few fingers in there first to stretch it out but I never pulled it out and seen shit on it

maybe she just has a lot of fibre

[–]HV123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is like fast food. You really want it then you're left ultimately unfullfilled.

[–]bluedrygrass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Also, consider that culture drugs us into believing that sex is the greatest human experience in order to make you a slave to women. "

This aspect should be considered more, here on trp.

[–]_xen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a great tip for attracting girls: seem like you do lots of drugs all the time, doesn't matter if you actually do. The few times I experimented, the girls were attracted to me like moths to light. Also mention to them how you're drunk all the time and mention how you break traffic laws.

[–]tuxidomasx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is good in the context of meeting a need... because every 2-3 days I feel a strong masculine urge to ejaculate, and sex is BY FAR the best (most enjoyable and satisfying) way to get that.

Marathon sex on drugs tho... that really is the best feeling I've ever felt. pop a molly and a tab and fuck an 8+ raw for a few hours and tell me i'm lying. Next level: marathon threesome candyflip.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]babayega 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something that I've been realizing myself but you put it in words much better, thanks.

[–]kazaul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems to me different men really do have different tastes for various reasons. Red Pill doesn't seem to have made much of a conscious effort to formalize this yet, instead repeating the old mantra of 'all men want sex'.

While it seems true on the surface, I'm starting to think the truer version is 'all men want to know they have the ability to get sex when they want it'.

[–]unknowncitzen 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I agree with OP, sex by itself is pretty fucken boring so much so you can have the same result by using a Flesh light.

What makes sex fantastic is all the mind games (sexual anticipation , kino in public, wispering filthy things your going to do to her, etc.) and having a primal connection with the women you are fucking, once you have had that everything else is "meh.. I could have done that with my hand".

I have always been like this, if the woman and I aren't emotionally connected in a primal dominant (me)/submissive (her) way then my cock stays soft and my time investment is zero.

This is why I don't go in for ONS, but prefer FWB.

[–]UlyssesElias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what do you mean by a primal connection with a woman?

[–]the99percent1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is good, with a girl who desires you.. otherwise, walk away. If the girl isn't charming and making less effort, I walk away. Simple.

Like you say, time is of essence. A man can accomplish a great many things if every second of every minute is filled with purposeful action.

When you are focused and driven in your career, hobbies and social life, you don't really have time to think of how and where your next lay will come from. It doesn't bother me one bit. Life is too short, enjoy the ride for what it is.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the highest physical, spiritual, emotional experience

Well obviously that's hippy nonsense.

But sex is pretty fucking good with the right person. I've had some pretty shattering orgasms that have made me feel high all night.

And also, as someone else said. Drugs. Sex on stimulants is ridiculous...

TBH thinking about that I would have to agree that sober sex isn't that great, which is quite sad really.

[–]flexiblehold 1 point2 points  (10 children)

We've all had anywhere from 2,000-5,000 orgasms to pornography by the time we're in our 30s -- let's not overlook the effect this must have on our enjoyment of actual, dirty, smelly sex.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been with one woman for 3 decades and thus understand that sex is not always electric. However, having led very difficult life for a myriad of reasons, I am convinced that it is the one thing that is still pretty damn good even when not so electric--not sure I could have made it without it ... just sayin'.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need to clean the pipes from time to time, having a girl take care of it for me is enjoyable. I have other shit I enjoy more, even if it takes less time, like drag racing.

[–]MarinTaranu 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Sex SHOULD be mundane and available on request. It is a primordial need of all living things, no matter how you try to explain it away. However, society builds artificial constructs to keep this powerful force in check.

[–]SilentForTooLong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, sex isn't guaranteed to be great... but that strikes me as a side effect of shallow sex.

People don't believe me because this is the Internet, but I live a spectacular life filled with lots of cool things.

I can't think of anything more powerful and intense than having sex with the now deceased woman of my dreams, except maybe kissing her, and that got to be so intense that I actually blacked out from it.

People keep spitting out things like working your dream job, or stepping into your own house, or whatever. Well, not for me. I keep making goals, and attaining them, but my only thought I usually have when I get to my destinations is "this would have been immensely more fantastic if she were here with me."

Even just generally, having a woman to share your experiences with, and to go home and fuck after something incredible makes life far, far sweeter.

I don't know. Maybe I have an unhealthy love of female anatomy? But to me there doesn't seem to be much of anything greater than being alone with a beautiful naked woman at the end of a day of sharing your life with her.

[–]mk_opc 1 point2 points  (10 children)

I'm sorry... what?

Laying down in bed and having a girl slowwwwly work you to orgasm properly is one of the most satisfying experience of life. Period.

I think that sex can be bad, but for the most part it is fantastic and has the potential to be mindblowing.

There is a famous quote that says something like "people convince themselves that they don't like grapes when the vines are too high to reach" ... take from that what you will.

[–]Bottled_Void 17 points18 points  (3 children)

having a girl slowwwwly work you to orgasm properly is one of the most satisfying experience of life. Period.

Better than getting that dream job? Better than getting the keys to your own home? Better than holding your son for the first time? Better than taking him home after he got sick at six months and spent a year in ICU?

I guess I'm just using a different scale.

[–]jack_nz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The dream job- nah. The new house- nah. But as the first-time father of a 6mo daughter- that shit is amazing. Nothing like it :)

[–]skoobled[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It can be fantastic, but sometimes it's not. I would second the other comment from this thread that is, simply, don't put sex on a pedestal. It should be no different to any other physical activity you enjoy. Yes, biology and culture make it more, but I would argue that from the standpoint of the individual that this puts you in a dangerous position.

[–]Echelon64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is not that good

Well, yeah, well okay I see your point. I personally feel more awesome during the hunt so I can see where you are coming from.

[–]tif2shuz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the women's thoughts on sex.

[–]SnoopKittyCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you have it, sex is often bland and can be nearly a chore, but when you don't have it, it become your main obsession and the subject of all your thoughts and drives your life.

[–]DoobleXL 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is a great post. It's very true. By itself sex is literally just putting your dick in a wet hole. That's it and that's all. Sure it feels good, but making it the point of your life is like if you made eating Oreos the point of your life. Ideally, it should be just a part of a more well-rounded life.

Sex gets its power from the male ego. We don't want sex for the physical pleasure of it, but from the feeling we get from conquering another woman. That's why if we don't really like the girl, we lose interest after we fuck her once. Most guys who spend their lives trying to fuck different girls suffer from feelings of inferiority that they are trying to "fix" with fucking different girls. Whenever a girl acts like a bitch to them, they see that as a challenge to rise up and fuck more girls.

Society takes advantage of this impulse in men and makes them think that sex and conquering women is the peak of happiness to control them. A man distracted from his mission and only interested in sex is much less likely to challenge the power structure than a man who knows what he wants and isn't addicted to any fleeting pleasures.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not always amazing. With a condom I don't always get off. But it tops everything else; I haven't ever gone away thinking "I wish I had been doing ___ instead."

[–]loin_fruit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I got oneitis for a plate of mine a bit ago and one of the things that I started to realize how crazy it was too get so worked up over someone is that it's dumb. I realized it's just sex. Think about it. The only reason that you are craving this woman so bad is because of sex and the sex chemicals that are released during and after you fuck.

That's it. That's all that's holding you down.

[–]skoobled[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For real. It's useful to understand that you're being manipulated by chemicals in your brain which don't actually care for your "higher brain" well being. Does a little to control it. We're just shaven apes

[–]bitches_be_crazy86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well sex is important because we are preconditioned to reproduce. Sex isn't the real end goal but reproduction is. Sure we find sex enjoyable because it leads (or used to lead before contraceptives) to reproduction.

I'd say that having sex without reproduction is kind of meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Don't get me wrong - I am not saying that you should jump onto a first bimbo and start spawning children and then get divorce raped and what not. Just making a point that sex is just a thing that nature uses to trick us into reproducing.

[–]TornadoCreator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex is a great bit of fun, and a psychological need... that's all. It's not the most fun thing you can do. Generally speaking I'd rather eat something delicious, play a really good video game, have a nice soak in a hot tub with friends, or even cuddle with someone with a blanket and watch a film.

Sex is actually often a barrier. How many times have you been cuddled up with your girl, blanket wrapped around you, hand in hand, watching a film only to be distracted by your lizard brain saying, "You want to spoil this moment now to fondle her breasts". It's too damn often. It robs me of a lot of joy I think. The amount of times I've been watching my favourite TV shows but can't concentrate because my dick wakes up and all it can think about is how much I want to bend that actress across a table. It's pathetic.

Sex is great fun. I enjoy it and I've generally had good sex in my life. I'm currently seeing a young girl who's very sweet and we've got a decent dynamic going which sex is set to be just a part of; and even coming from a dry spell of over 2 years, (I've had a lot of personal shit I needed to deal with), I'm more excited for cuddling and closeness than sex.

It's a lesson we should all remember, sex is fine but it's not the best thing ever, our brains are just manipulated into thinking it is on a very short term basis. If anything genuine closeness is far nicer, with sex as merely an aspect of that.

[–]RichieFinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ever since learning RP methods of obtaining sex i have found the leadup to sex more exciting than the act....knowing im working methods or "moves" to attract her often excites me more than the actual sex? is that odd?..probably, but fuck it.

[–]TimeHo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to get to this point. I have a lot of work to do.

[–]LugerDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree sex can be blah with some chicks you are just there to fuck pretty much with a few exceptions. It can also be amazing with the right person that you have a deep bond with. For example my girl and I are extremely close, open minded, talk through everything as one, and because of all the great things about our relationship the sex is amazing due to that unbreakable bond. Also, you need to spice it up sometimes with role play, toys, and all the other goodies for adults. Keep it fun and exciting.

[–]GhostInTheRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess sex, food and death are all closely related. They are things we are programmed to do. Sometimes each one can be spectacular, ecstatic, marvelous. They can also be anti-climactic, painful or just...meh. Our best efforts can come up short, or we can have a great experience without trying at all. Yeah, sex is just a thing that is commoditised and commercialised.

[–]NSA_web_spider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps you've had too much of it to be able to pair bond? That doesn't just happen to women. Sex is a critical part of a healthy LTR. Period and full stop, unless there some sort of functional or medical difficulty.

If you aren't into it for the pair bonding or the LTR , it's exercise and an orgasm, which I suspect could be obtained in many ways.

But in any way, it does leave you feeling healthier and better about yourself. So I wouldn't call it useless - but maybe I can agree with overrated.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Automatically thinking that defending against this position means "slave to sex" is a gross error in thinking. Some of us MAKE the sex fantastic, every time. It takes skill to make that apparently-coquettish girl show you her slut side unashamedly, but unless you want sex to be "not that good", it's worth the rather trivial effort.

As the guy, you can do this. Yes, there are those very few truly cold fish who respond to nothing, but in my experience, they are pretty obvious beforehand.

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