Rant/Venting"You missed out" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

I see more and more posts about men saying they hate the fact that they missed out in high school and college. It’s such a toxic thought and it’s absolutely bullshit.

You should not give a fuck about your past experiences. There is more then pussy and sex. This is not just me saying that to make virgins feel better, it's because it true.

Don’t put sex on such a pedestal that it is life-defining. It's not. It's what virgins think. When I was a virgin I thought sex was the endgame. Fuck no.

I was a virgin up until 21 (I am 23 now), played video games every day, a lot. Never had any experience except for kissing and a little bit of grinding/dancing.

From the outside people would probably think: "Damn, what a low life". But the competition, the thrill of playing a video game on a high level of competition (eSports) gave me the biggest highs of my life. I still think back about it and I sometimes literally wish I could go back to that time. I wasn’t particularly addicted to the game, I was addicted to the thrill of playing in a team, working towards a goal. It gave me a more intense feeling of accomplishment then fucking a 20 year old HB9.

Most people don’t even know about these experiences and will never experience them. To them I would say: “You missed out”. But did they really? They probably had their own experiences while I was video gaming. Maybe they were banging hot girls, working on their career, producing music, whatever the fuck.

Now that I have become more red pill I feel like: “Shit man, I should've gamed a lot more women in that time”. But the truth is, I didn’t give a fuck about girls back then, I didn’t give a fuck about sex. It’s how I was. Sometimes you forget your own mindset in that time. You have grown. Your values have changed and you look through those glasses at your past life. It’s unfair to yourself and self-defeating.

The growth made it possible for you to be more attractive to women. And the growth made you look at the world differently. When I look back on how blue pill/omega I was it’s a miracle I found The Red Pill and I am grateful. You should be grateful. This is how men are born, through struggle and pain.

The high school/college alpha’s, yes they probably had a lot of sex. Were overall happier with their life at that time. But to them it was normal. They never had to have the self awareness. Which makes life a lot easier but also more bland. When you are self aware, it’s probably the greatest feeling, it’s real control.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 77 points78 points  (13 children)

This nuance is so important to remember. It's the one danger to your attitude that the sub can create. Because the sub is devoted to sexual strategy, it can become very easy to see sex as too important.

This is not to say that sex isn't important. It is. But in terms of life priorities, it might rank in your top 5 priorities, but if it's ranking in your top 2 then you probably need to rethink things. The idea that sex is the top priority on your list is pretty much the definition of putting the pussy on the pedestal. (The pussy/acquisition of pussy is more important to you than anything else.) This is not a red pill attitude. It's also not conducive to the other underlying attitudes needed to be successful in your application of sexual strategy.

This sort of topic is a good reality check on attitude towards sex, keeping it in perspective. You are the dominant male. You decide if you want to have sex and she is along for the ride if she chooses. Sometimes I wonder about the attitudes of some members of the sub who appear to have no circumstance where they'd turn down sex. I think that's an incredibly dangerous attitude given the increase in false rape allegations. (Demonstrated examples here on an almost daily basis.) You should be able to think of at least one situation where you'd say no (and not just because you're in charge of deciding your own destiny), the one that jumps to my mind is the crazy chick. The sex might be great, but the potential fallout just doesn't seem worth the risk. I'm sure there are others like the chick being too ugly or not shitting where you eat etc etc.

Your life is YOURS gentlemen. You've unplugged from the matrix so don't take their priorities anymore. Set your own.

[–]h22keisuke 28 points29 points  (7 children)

Sex is heavily discussed on here, but everybody needs to remember that TRP is an approach to self-actualization, not just a way to get your dick wet.

[–]VictorEremitaK 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Don't make it something it's not : "The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men."

[–]ModMachiavellianRed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

Think we're going to have to change this to something more akin to:

The Red Pill: Discussion of masculine self-actualization and sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.

I've seen the sidebar quoted in this manner as a way to say "it's all about sex" and try to shut people down who say TRP can be about other things far too many times. I don't like the way this is used, as a sort of "thought terminating cliche" to shut down discussion or higher ambition. As if to suggest, even if this was true at one point, that means it must always be true, and that because it was true once it is still true now, and that perhaps TRP has not evolved since that was originally written.

Having been on TRP many years now I disagree with this description in the sidebar, as do, from what I can perceive, many other men in this community of ours. If that was true, once you got laid regularly, you wouldn't be here. TRP would not be a community with loftier goals or insights, it would simply be a place to get tips on how to get laid, understand a bit of female behavior to further enhance your odds of getting laid and that's it, nothing else would matter. If this were true, TRP would be unnecessary, seddit got people laid and that was it. TRP is more than just "a natural game version of seddit." It's about masculinity, seeing through the bullshit in the world and wider social dynamics like how people manipulate one another too. The web is wider, it all intermingles.

Sexual strategy is very relevant as it permeates all social dynamics and drives many behaviors regardless of whether you're going to fuck somebody, but it's not THE ONLY THING we're interested in, more like one of the core pillars of RP interest but not the sole pillar. Self-actualization is another interest, many men here share that interest, and personally I tire of men who only care about getting laid and not being the best they can be weaponize the sidebar in this manner to tell or imply to more ambitious men that "TRP is just about pussy brah!"

You have to remember that this was written in the sidebar years ago, long before TRP became what it is now, and it was written with a certain seddit influence in the foreground. TRP has evolved a lot since then. We're not seddit 2.0, we're a lot more than that.

Thoughts? /u/redpillschool /u/RedPillWatchTower /u/CrazyHorseInvincible /u/bsutansalt /u/RedSovereign /u/OldMuckyTerrahawk /u/EpicLevelCheater

[–]Day_man2020 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Choosing not to value sex is still a sexual strategy. In a finite existence choosing to persue/value certain things comes at the cost of whatever else you could use that time/energy for. Valuing sex highly is exactly how men have been socialized because it is an easy way to control us. Both with promises of sex and withholding of sex to punish/incentivise us.

[–]VictorEremitaK -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Valuing sex highly is exactly how men have been socialized because it is an easy way to control us

Are you serious? Having sex with as many females as possible is literally the purpose of any male animal. That does not mean sex isn't used to 'control' us (both men and women btw.), but is has so little to say in why we crave sex as much as we do.


Choosing not to value sex is still a sexual strategy.

That is not what was meant when it was written, and very few people will interpret it as you do.

[–]Day_man2020 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If you want biology to be the main source of your self identity as a man you're just an animal. All animals fuck and have feels, humans are different because of our reason and abstract thinking. If you choose to cash all that in and define yourself by your biological imperatives I think that's pretty sad.

Are you going to create your own self identity as a man or just agree and amplify what your genes and society (including the red pill ideology) tells you.

Reread the quote you posted what red pill is. Why is the biological definition of manhood most valid? As soon as brains came on the scene biology lost, we are individually weak and helpless without human society and our technology. Why are you clinging to the past? Invent your own identity don't just parrot back what you've read here or what society tells you. Sex is a biological need because if we didn't feel the drive well so long human race, why does spending so much time and energy on that have more value to you than anything else.

Eating food is also a survival instinct, why don't you go eat yourself to death at McDonald's so you can feel good about acting in line with your biology?

[–]VictorEremitaK -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I was not saying how we should act, just the reason behind how we want to act. Accepting that we are animals does not mean we have to act as other animals do, we are obviously a lot smarter than they are.

But saying

Valuing sex highly is exactly how men have been socialized because it is an easy way to control us.

Is just dumb, and that was what I was commenting on.

And how do you think 'society' came into existence? Did it just appear some day? Or is it something humans have created, and therefore will reflect our needs and wants...

[–]Day_man2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ever heard of guys being pussy-whipped or chicks getting pussy passes, you should look into that...

[–]Venkas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I second the "watch out for the crazy chick". There are so many ways she can hurt you its unreal. Stay vigilant.

[–]flexiblehold 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man, you're on point. About a month ago I was on fire in a bar, I had one chick following me around essentially begging me to go home with her, another I was chatting up at the bar that I number-closed, and another who was playing coy whom I found interesting and challenging. Well, I could have left with the desperate chick (a HB5, quite average) and wet my dick and congratulated myself on another notch. I ended up letting her go and focused on the challenging one (props to her for having lady game) -- she's since turned into an obedient plate, grateful for my time and attention, which I dole out with discretion. I'm now getting steady fucking with a HB7 instead of a regretful ONS with a HB5: on the long view I obviously made the right decision, even though I could see PUA types saying something along the lines of "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

[–]bigmfkr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, sex shouldn't be a top priority in your life. Your self-improvement should. But in relationships with women... That's another story. It definitely is in mine top 2, with the other one being respect.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell, it shouldn't be anywhere near top 5, top 10 might be better suited. Pussy is a meal at a shitty resturant, really fucking cheap and can still taste good/ok. There are much better things to do but occasionally you want a good meal at a shitty resturant

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not to say that sex isn't important. It is.

Keep in mind that importance is based on desire, which is almost always linked to rarity and attainability. When I was 15, I was a virgin. Trying to fuck girls was pretty much all I did. By 18, I'd rather have slept in and played football on Saturday than have to get up & fuck myself another round of possible STDs and pregnancy scares. TRP's process of making men successful at sexual strategy will - in and of itself - make them devalue sex as it becomes more available.

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 213 points214 points  (31 children)

Thanks for this. The ridicule others give to late bloomers and the subsequent shame late bloomers feel is all because of blue pill conditioning. Thank Jesus fucking Christ for the red pill, the matrix is real.

[–]camelCasettes 90 points91 points  (13 children)

I like being a late bloomer.

Self-improvement is more enjoyable with the schadenfreude of overtaking all the people who left you behind at the start.

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (9 children)

It's funny when my old male and female classmates meet me, they are like: "Wow, you changed!!" (in a positive way). And then you look at them, they didn't change one bit.

[–]Iramohs 57 points57 points [recovered]

I recently shut down this girl that I orbited my freshman year in college. Saying 'no' to her was fantastic.

[–]HerculestheRed 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That wasn't about her, it was about you. I'm sure you know that, but there's a lot of new guys here, or some of the on the fence guys, and even the SJWs who would have you believe that TRP is about spite and bitterness. There is a phase where some of the new guys are bitter, but that passes. Anger phase comes and goes until when it doesn't.

I don't know your story, but the reason that felt good was the shift in power and perspective. A girl you used to put a lot of stock in and orbited, coming at her from a position of weakness because she had what you want and couldn't have (her.)

Now that your position has changed, the entire power dynamic has changed.

I'm sure some of the more spiteful guys take an amount of pleasure in the schadenfreude of being able to tell people no, but the truth is that you're not happy that you told her no.

You're happy that you're now in a position to be able to. Yeah, having a Lamborghini won't make your dick ten feet long, but when you grow up poor and work and make changes that put you in a position that you can afford a Lambo, you're happier with who you are as a person compared to her you where back then.

Just like the roar of a sport's car engine after eating cans of beans for lunch everyday, who knew that one little syllable, 'no' could sound like sex feels?

Hope that clears it up for anybody on the fence. TRP isn't about just circlejerking and commiserating. You work through the bitterness as part of the process. Your eyes hurt because you've never used them.

It'll pass, and then you can take women for who they truly are. Which is the furthest thing from bitterness.

[–]ColdEiric 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's the best feeling in the world.

I recognise them, because they are the same as before. And they have no idea of who I am, because I am so much more nowadays.

[–]Nicholas_ 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Met an old acquaintance recently and she was like "Damn, you look 50 times different". I used to be a chubby, socially awkward person. Now muscley, lean and very confident and secure in myself.

Feels good.

[–]Temptationn 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Exactly this. I was like you with the gamebattles and stuff almost identically stories except mine was at a younger age (15-18. I'm 20 now) everyone at my school that was in their "prime" have all gone down hill. I've improved on everything started lifting, etc and the guys that would get all the girls and played sports are now working 9-5s and have gained a shit load of weight. I guess everything turns out in the end.

edit- Also, the group I hung out with that would say I couldn't get girls now have kids. all 4 of them. (;

[–]SgtBrutalisk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the modern society pushes kids too hard. When I remember what kind of literature we were assigned in high school and that we were expected to give insights that only come with old age, I cringe.

[–]Fazl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Other than most of them being obeasts now oO

[–]AntixD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this,even the girls,they deteriorate so rapidly,a year or two can seriously fuck someone up,imagine 10

[–]Nizzle-Mcfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or when in the span of just a few years you see them and the hottest chick in the school had already popped out a couple of pups and inflated to the size of a small sedan. (in my case at a 5 year get together)

[–]newbie3hunna 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I mean would you want to hang out with some weirdo virgin at this point? Stop being bitter about the past and just move on.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Well I think part of The Red Pill is also accepting the harsh truth that your reality could've been different in those years. But that's it. Accept that and move on. Accept that you were not the cool guy you are now and for some people it takes longer then others.

Some will NEVER find out, they will always live in that bubble. That is something to think about.

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why? With something like this, there's no reason to worry about the past, it won't do shit for you. Keep moving forward.

[–]tresconik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be argued that if you actually were happy with your life in the past, your potential would have been limited for you would have no incentive to get better.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (7 children)

because of blue pill conditioning

I'm still swallowing the red pill, can you explain this further?

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 22 points23 points  (6 children)

All the lies you'll be fed by society growing up without a proper role model...society wants you to not give a shit about yourself. Society benefits from people making sacrifices. It's definitely okay to help others but you always need to put yourself first. The red pill is about individual happiness ultimately leading to a better society, the blue pill is about making personal sacrifices to seemingly better society when blue pill work is nowhere near what red pill work can accomplish.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (5 children)

But why do blue pillers ridicule late bloomers?

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 27 points28 points  (4 children)

It's an AMOG attempt. Trying to lower a successful person's self esteem.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

That makes complete sense now. Thank you so much for clarifying, the support on this sub is unreal.

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Glad I could be of help, this sub gets shit on by SJW's a lot but stick with it. It will make you a better person. And always remember rule #1: Don't talk about the red pill

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I've been lurking for a couple months and I can honestly say it's changed my viewpoint on my aspects of life entirely, to the point where I don't think there's any going back for me. For the first time, I feel like there's a safe haven for me to be a man and talk amongst men too, which is amazing.

I did not know rule #1, but based on how much everyone hates TRP outside of TRP, I have been keeping it to myself. It's something that shouldn't be forced on anyone, but should come to those that seek it out.

Btw, from TRP, I've increased my SMV tremendously, have girls asking others to get my number, and have had girls buy me drinks without me asking for the past two weekends. Pretty sure by next weekend I'll have a plate as this one girl is clearly into me. I've also been abstaining from fapping and porn, lifting, eating right, and making sure I look damn good everywhere I go. Anyway, TRP is changing my life for the better because the community is awesome. Thanks so much. Can I ask you questions down the line as I keep swallowing?

[–]aboveaveragebabydick 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's not that we choose not to talk about the red pill because we don't want anybody else succeeding, it's that they won't listen and the possible repercussions just aren't worth it. SJWs get jealous and try to be white knights by destroying causes that don't add to their benefit.

Sure, feel free. Also, /asktrp is dedicated to answering newbie questions where you can get answers from multiple perspectives.

[–]Nicholas_ 45 points46 points  (2 children)

I lost my virginity when I was 19 and a chick said "wow 19, that's old".

My reply was "Sorry, I wasn't a slut like you".


[–]ChadThundercockII 11 points12 points  (0 children)

haha owned. If you go back to that memory, you'll find that she has tingles at that same moment.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]antariusz 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's no different, everyone has to start somewhere. I started learning PUA techniques / game at 25, and lost my virginity at 26. I lost track of how many women I'd slept with within 3 years because of it being so high. I'm about to turn 33 and my SMV has never been higher. Just in 2015 I've entered into "relationships" with 4 different women (ie: dates and seeing them multiple times), and banged/ONS'ed about 5 more.

Some things take time, even if you start lifting weights and working on your body today, and are consistent about it and smart about it (very big assumptions) it'll take you at least 4 years to come close to your "genetic potential". But that's ok, even after only 1 year you'll have made an enormous difference in your life that you'll discover that you'll want to continue.

The longer you work at it, the easier it will become, for example 3 years ago I started working on losing weight, at first I just cut out regular soda for diet, boom 800 calories a day and 20 lbs melted off, but the further and further you go the more dedication it requires, but the better your results become. 3 years ago I was wanting to wife up a single mother as she was slamming head first into the wall and I was her beta provider. Yes, I was getting laid so it was an improvement, but I wasn't nearly as happy as I am today with the knowledge and experienced I've gained... Slowly... Over time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Antarius from Rerolled? If yes, stop using the same username lol

[–]welpcomma 13 points13 points [recovered]

Let’s suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream you wanted to dream, and that you could for example have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to have.

And you would, naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure during your sleep. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each you would say “Well that was pretty great”. But now let’s have a surprise, let’s have a dream which isn’t under control, where something is gonna happen to me that I don’t know what it's gonna be.

And you would dig that and would come out of that and you would say “Wow that was a close shave, wasn’t it?”. Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further- and further-out gambles what you would dream. And finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today.

-- Alan Watts, The Dream of Life


We all face different challenges in this life, some far fewer than others. For good or ill, you must play with the cards fate has dealt you. It may not do you much good to hear it now, but knowing that you must accept your disadvantages to move ahead is the first step toward real progress. What you choose to do with that knowledge and the time given to you is entirely your prerogative.

These days I don't feel or look like the person I was 5 or even 2 years ago. Why allow the old "me," the residual self-image me, the fake me, stand in my way? I've done things he never could. It's important to remember how far you've come just by being here in this forum today.

Delete your Facebook account. Weep openly, in private of course. See a therapist. Whatever you have to do, make it happen. You think life isn't fair? What about your ancestors, who had none of the luxuries you take for granted, some of whom were forced to capitulate to the natural Alphas or face death? Was that fair to them? Yet you're still here, a miracle of cosmic serendipity.

If you have wasted every moment of your life up to now, don't you think that's quite enough? These thoughts of, "I'm not good enough," and "I'll never have that chance again," they do not serve you. Take them out with the rest of the garbage and be free to live life as the Man you are today, not the boy of yesterday. And when you wake up, you may find that not only is your own life enriched, but also the lives of those around you. Despite all you've been through, isn't that prospect worth fighting for? Isn't that the point of our existence, so far as there is one?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man this describes much better what I wanted to say.

[–]NotTheFlash 27 points28 points  (3 children)

This. This so fucking much. A lot of us didn't got girls in their 16-20, including me to an extent. I was also gaming a lot, thought about trying to do something with my gaming skills (LoL if you wanna know) but settled for med school but that's another story. Do i regret the more than a thousand hours on one game in a year ? ABSOLUTELY NOT because almost every hour of it was with my friends, having fun, laughs, saying stupid shits, sometimes raging etc... yeah maybe in the meanwhile chad was fucking the HB10 of the class but i couldn't give a crap about it then so why should i regret and feel like i "missed out" now ? That's what the me from these years wanted, so i consider it perfect.

I also learned a shit ton of things during my preRP years : How to entirely build a computer, how to do some basic coding (which has now evolved in something i'm kinda good at), learned to properly draw, did a lot of cooking, also i was very much into magic tricks so i learned hundreds of them, a lot who get an amazing reaction from your usual bar/cafe audience or girls in the street etc, and who just need a deck of cards or a coin, a bottle of beer, a phone... try some for a month then go out and see.

Finally, about the "missed out", what shit did we apparently missed out ? Sex ? Is there a difference between having it at 17 or 19 or 21... ? Huge parties, frats, attention from sluts, alcohol blah blah ? Well all this was in order to get wasted and fuck so again we get toooooo ? sex. Yeah that's great in your mind when you're 15 but then you have sex and realize sometime it rocks but sometime it sucks, that it's nothing so extraordinary, that it's not worth aiming only for it. Honestly, i have only one thing that i feel i missed out : since i don't live in the US, i didn't got to play US football in college, and fuck i would've enjoyed it.

So come one people, stop feeling that you missed out on anything big enough to be worth it while you were young, awkward and enjoying your video games, movies, comics, manga, tv shows...

[–]ChadThundercockII 25 points26 points  (1 child)

meanwhile chad was fucking the HB10 of the class

No, I was doing pushups and pullups, running 3 miles and playing Pokemon.

[–]Dragontitz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And plus you can always get younger women. Even if you get "too old" a lot of hot girls want sugar daddys. You'd be surprised actually..

[–]ChadThundercockII 25 points26 points  (0 children)

You experience with video games made me realize something. When I'm at the gym, boxing, hitting the bag or shadowboxing, women NEVER cross my mind. It is all about hard work and dedication. To hit and not get hit. To slip the jab, bob and weave.

It is only after I'm on the street that I start thinking about them or anything else.

After all, women will never make us happy. We make our own happiness. When fights are won, goals are achieved and dreams materialized, then and only then, we can be happy. So, until you achieve something in your life and have ever lasting memories, you indeed missed out, but not on sex but on GLORY.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I lost out on a decade of my life by being severely disabled.

At least that's how I COULD look at it. I was still a player, although I couldn't really hit it hard. But I had respect.

Plus the thing is, I kept going. I kept reading, went back to school, kept developing myself. Stayed active.

Sex is some shit, but don't ever look back. Once you start to look back and have regrets, you begin to live in anxiety. You start to question yourself. Just do it!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the mentality, for sure.

[–]AK27ABROAD 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's the way high school is presented in movies, tv shows and media- that guys are supposed to be fucking left and right and if they aren't, they're losers. Well, 98% of the population is losers then.

[–]steelerfaninperu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone who was complete orbiter beta and did not get laid throughout high school I'll say this:

Do I wish I'd had the knowledge and wisdom that I have today when I was in high school? Absolutely, I would have had a much better time.

But, and here's the point, would I be who I am today without having endured the hard times in high school? Certainly not.

So many people peak in high school, it's actually quite sad. Remember, the challenge makes you stronger, and you'll learn something from adversity.

[–]chuckthundercock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do not discount how great fucking a HB10 can be. 21 years old, perfect breasts, plump, perfect ass with flawless skin and a face worthy of a spring break meme. To have her on top of you, riding your cock is an amazing experience. Especially when she will do things with you that she won't do with her 21 year old boyfriend.

Here is the lesson for all of you who are late bloomers, your 30's will be better, and 40's potentially even better than that as long as you put yourself first, lift, stay stylish, practice amused mastery/game, and hold your frame.

I have fucked better and hotter girls as sugar babies in my 40's than I ever got to fuck trying to be alpha in my 20's. Your time is coming.

[–]Liefskaap 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Out of curiosity, what game did you play?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I played Call of Duty, United Offensive (the addon), Call of Duty 2 and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. I also played CS: Source for a while but not on a high level. I played these games from the age of 12 or so. Now I quit video games and I don't advocate anyone wanting to change their life to get into gaming on an extreme (competitive) level. It drains your time obviously.

[–]Liefskaap 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actually played cod4 on a semi-higher level, that's why I asked. Great post by the way.

[–]scalentorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The times when cod was great. I was playing cod4 on a semi competetive level as well. Attended a few lans in eu.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]REDDITCanSuckMyCOCK 8 points8 points [recovered]

He played in high ranks 2 years ago, for probably many years before that. What else could it be but CS?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was a late bloomer. Then I finally got my first girlfriend. Now I've realized women are honestly kind of annoying and I'd rather get a hooker, While spending my time on school and video games.

[–]BrunoOh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You forgot to mention the best thing...there will always be young HBBs.

[–]RedPillAnonymous 6 points7 points  (5 children)

But the truth is, I didn’t give a fuck about girls back then, I didn’t give a fuck about sex. It’s how I was. Sometimes you forget your own mindset in that time.

I did give a fuck about sex at the time, so yeah, it was miserable to be a foreveralone, and I will never get those years back, nor will I ever get to experience sex with women my own age who are also beautiful and as inexperienced as me. I hate posts acting like we should just snap out of it. My youth was wasted. That is a big deal.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Can you change it? No. Fuck it man, BP that shit. Ignore what you cant control.

[–]RedPillAnonymous 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I know this. It's just such a monumental loss, like waking up from a coma realizing you lost your best years to it. And I wasn't some ugly nerd either, I just believed the women love nice guys line and could never get anything from a girl. It's that betrayal, of trying to put in my fair share of a relationship thinking she would too. All the while I was getting played for a fool by every girl I thought was my friend and every girlfriend I thought loved me. It just sucks.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Women are little girl, immature at times, sure. They steal like a thieft and will take what you give as long as its free. Billy joel would agree with that.

Man, you need to take care of them, and not in a beta way, you need to take care like a father would. They're imprevissible, and wayy more emotional then any of us.. Like WAY more emotional and this is what makes them so beautiful. A women cheat, a women wont care if you can't make her loyal and caring.

They're just little girls. Take care of them and they will give you more love and affection then you can handle. It doesnt matter if she loves you for ever and ever or not. Live your life, let them enter it, and enjoy while it last. Your unicorn is the girl you have right now. The girl you currently have is your special unicorn. The unicorn you crave so much, she's there, for you, right now.

Look no further then right there with her to find the love of your life, you might just realise you wont see her by looking away. Stop looking away and look at her!

I think that most new red pillers problem and anger phase come from the realisation that they have responsabities, that they need to grow as a man. Nothing is wrong with women, it's been that way for... Ever. Take your responsabilities and take care of that poor little girl.

Again, you first, if she follow, protect her. Do not go full retard and put her before you, it's not caring, it's stupidity.

Tldr; shit happens

[–]RedPillAnonymous 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just want to fuck bitches. I'm done hoping for love. I just want to fuck bitches while I still can. They can find some other fool to put up with their shit.

[–]cazzah123 6 points7 points  (2 children)

When I think about the best times in my life, none of them are sex.

Adventures with my friends
Being a shit head kid
Playing games (played 1.6 pretty high level)
Playing rugby

None of it is sex, literally none.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am the same. While I do like to think about some of the sex I had in the past.

The best time of my life are mostly with my male friends:

  • Going to Tokyo, partying and overall doing crazy shit with my friends

  • Playing team sports: soccer, tennis, hockey

  • Winning an important match in a video game tournament - that feeling that you reached something with your team, similar to team sports

  • Going to music festivals with my friends and overall travelling with my friends in general

  • Making progress in the gym

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I disagree with the general thrust of your post, although I do agree with your point that stewing in a "I missed out" mindset can be toxic to one's future.

Don’t put sex on such a pedestal that it is life-defining. It's not. It's what virgins think. When I was a virgin I thought sex was the endgame. Fuck no.

Life is a tragedy. Pretending like it's not doesn't change that it is. Sex pervades the thoughts of healthy young men and not getting any--and being mislead about how to get it by society--is tragic. It's a good reason to be pissed, or disappointed, or motivated to change, or melancholic.

Elie Wiesel, who survived the Holocaust, once wrote that someone who is warm can not understand someone who is cold. Someone who attended the party and got laid really has no right to laugh about it to a guy who wasn't invited. "Heh, it wasn't that good of a party anyway, bro." You get to say that because you were in attendance. Those words are smug and annoying to the guy who was left out in the cold.

Men are always pressured to accept the shitty hand that society deals them, because society can't handle men as a group reacting appropriately to the inherent injustices thrust upon them. The blase attitude "it's just sex, don't care so much!" is also used in many other contexts. "It's just homosexuality, polygamy, cheating, cuckolding, don't care so much!" Don't care that 100 years ago most men married virgins who loved them to their graves. Just deal with it! This slippery slope of moral decay comes to rest at the 80/20, or 90/10 situation, with the vast majority of men are locked out in the cold, and then they get to read smug rationalizations by guys who attended the party.

Hopefully that doesn't sound butthurt because I am really just arguing against the view that men should not care (not arguing against OP personally). Men should feel angry, sad, despair, whatever emotion they naturally feel. Then they will know what to do. Some will dedicate themselves to joining the party before it ends. Some guys wake up and swallow the pill at 21, and they still have a year or two of college to join the party. Some guys wake up at 26 and have a few years to improve themselves before women their age start hitting the wall and getting desperate. Some men wake up at 45 and the party is over--he can't go back and be young, naive, inexperienced, innocent. But he can stop being betabux, he can Go His Own Way if he chooses.

There is something very feminine or progressive about the original post. Men don't tell men how to feel or think. That is what women do. That is what a progressive SJW does. They have an ideology and they push it by telling people how to think and how to feel. I am of the opinion that men should be free to think, feel, and act how they will. And we must consider that some of us are in a position of warmth and we really can not dictate to men who were/are locked out in the cold. Life is a tragedy, accept it and act accordingly.

[–]flexiblehold 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Excellent essay, and I find myself on your side of this argument. I posted earlier itt that I see it as the difference between apathy and abundance mentality: the solution to pain and fear and heartbreak is not ceasing to feel or retreating behind a wall of denial, the solution is the realization that you have the ability to process pain and fear and heartbreak, that you are strong enough to endure it. We must make this distinction, rationalization and bargaining are feminine consolations. this is your pain, this is your burning hand, that's the masculine.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! That Fight Club scene where Tyler pours the acid on his hand and forces him to confront the pain makes perfect sense in this context.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to be honest I am starting to see more that I am in denial. I sleeped on it and yes you and FLFTW16 have a good point. I am going to internalize this and overall take a break from posting.

It's good to always want the "best" for yourself (this is subjective to a point). Because your value has gone up, you have a different standard now then you had in the past. You hold that standard to your past self and it does not live up to that (far from it). This makes you depressed, angry, sad because you can't change it. I'm not saying it's bad to feel that way but it's stupid to let it bring you down. Learn from it and move on. And also look at the good experiences you have besides sex.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I understand you. I couldn't give any fucks what you or others want to feel. "You should" doesn't mean you must think like this. If you want to feel unhappy, happy, pissed off, sad about your past, that's cool.

"Men don't tell men how to feel or think" is a paradox too.

I have to be honest. I was not a happy person overall in that period of my life. Not having a girlfriend or sex was painful from time to time. I would get extremely depressed thinking about it but I was too much of a pussy to do something about it.

I was simply not an attractive guy. I do have the looks, but I was not attractive in my behaviour. I was raised with a blue pill mentality. Weak, quickly running away. I was meat for the meat grinder.

Some guys here act like they were entitled to have sex and be like Chad Thundercock and that they missed out. I wish life worked that way. The 80/20 rule has existed for a very long time.

I remember in my class on college (I graduated last year) there was a group of 3/4 guys that would get all the girls. You'd hear stories of threesomes, cheating, etc. But the rest (80%) were not living like this. I see them (the 20%) as an inspiration, they grew up with the right mentality and put themselves out there. There's a reason it's called the 80/20 rule. 80 percent is a big fucking percentage so there's a big chance you were/are part of this.

Yes it sucks hard, yes it's tragic, but like you said, life is tragic. Now do I look at that period with a feeling of missing out? No. Yes this is male hamstering. Because deep from the inside, every male wants to fuck hot bitches 24/7. Very true. But I can't change it, like I said: I was meat for the meat grinder. I was part of the 80%. I had no real capability to seduce a girl. Mostly because of a self defeating-mindset. It was impossible at that point in my life. I did not have the courage or knowledge. I was fucked up. And it takes time to regain control over yourself if you are fucked up.

I missed out on US college in general. I never got to experience that and I will never experience it. College here in the (European) country I live right now has similarities but it's definitely not the same.

[–]throwaway-aa2 8 points9 points  (10 children)

You have a point, BUT....

This isn't an "either or" prospect. I too enjoyed gaming when I was younger... the thrill of it, some of the moments were INSANE (me and my friend [2 guys] against 6 other guys, and we just BARELY take the game, other team is yelling afterwards giving us props... chills just thinking about it).

But... my friend who I played with online (he's in another state), he was having experiences with women throughout, while I was beating myself up for it and masturbating.

It's not only a "miss out on sex" thing. Now having been with a woman before, it gives you certain life lessons. Teaches you that you NEED to lead, teaches you the importance of dominance and putting your foot down, where men stand in relationship to women, and a bunch of other things. Had I started when I was younger, I probably would have taken lifting more seriously, I probably would be a lot more confident in myself as a man (not because of my success with women, but my willingness to put up with rejection & failure).

So I do think I missed out. BUT.....

That's what's going to propel me into superstar status now. That's why I take lifting more serious than anyone else I know. That's why I read, that's why I've started approaching women, that's why I bought a new wardrobe, that's why I'm thinking of being an entrepreneur... I'm willing to go through the pain & failure of whatever I need to do, to become a better man. With my past in my head, there's no telling how hard I will push myself.

So maybe I didn't miss out in the sense that I will probably progress to a point now (having my past undesirable experiences) than I ever would have based on normal conditions... but if we don't look at that perspective, then I definitely missed out. Missed out on the possibilities of many friendships, of girlfriends & plates, of lessons that I had to learn the hard way.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (9 children)

But the thing is, you are always missing out on life. It's the way you look at it. You could also see it as choices that you made back then and you learned from them, now you are going to live the life how you want to right now.

Looking back at the past seriously won't do shit. It's done. See it as a big nasty joke. "Fuck, well I definitely made a mess of it, let's change that". Life is nasty and unfair, deal with it, laugh at it. Sometimes I literally have to laugh at my behaviour when I was 19/20, and it's not even that long ago. I'm like: "Holy hell, I was socially awkward and I fucked up bad". I remember for example a girl that was totally into me and I was absolutely blind for it. You can see it as a missed opportunity or laugh at how stupid I was.

Women are great. It's a lot of fun to be around them. But women have not learned me anything in life. I had to find out myself. Going through the roughest moments of my life, that's how I learned.

There are guys who had a lot of girlfriends and are still blue pill as fuck, not understanding why their girlfriends leave them after 6 months.

[–]throwaway-aa2 2 points3 points  (8 children)

But the thing is, you are always missing out on life. It's the way you look at it. You could also see it as choices that you made back then and you learned from them, now you are going to live the life how you want to right now.

See normally I would agree with you. But this is RedPill so let's get into this, because to me this is feathery feel good bullshit.

We can do the whole "well the troubling past helped define who you are now" but is even taking into account the idea that I could have had similar potential or current success had I not made some of those bad choices or operated under falsehood? To me, that's giving myself a pass and I could easily use that explanation in the future: "Oh I didn't approach last week... but you know what they say, you learn from your experiences good and bad".

To me that's bullshit. I don't think that should be our attitude at all. It's not like we hope that OUR sons go through similar bad experiences just so they can "learn from them". I'm not willing to give myself a pass on what I've did in the past, because it's vague enough reason to give myself a pass on anything.

That isn't to say I'm dwelling on it too much... I definitely use my past experiences to compel myself to do things out of my comfort zone, sure. However if I had went after women in my youth, I'd have much more confidence, I'd probably be in better shape, I might have a better job.

Let me reframe this another way.

I don't think our message to the next generation should be "Live your life however, because at 30 you can just turn the ship around". I think we would all agree that is a mistake, and living a life of self improvement and facing fears is something that needs to be done throughout life to really put yourself in a good place in life. That isn't to say I still can't do that, but I've made myself unnecessarily go without success because of this. I'll willing to admit what I did, admit that I was weak, admit that even though I was taught the wrong message, that I'm responsible for my actions, I'm an adult, I'm a man, and a man's CROSS is to take responsibility. And I take it gladly.

I see what you're saying. All your experiences lead to who you are now as a person. That's fine. But I can easily see where I made good choices and bad choices, where I faced my fears and where I didn't. How would you sound if you told someone in this subreddit to "intentionally" go out of their way not to approach women, because "whatever you do, it will make you who you are as a person". That's not the message at all and you know it.

At the same time, that doesn't mean I get bitter just because some guys have been naturals at success with women / friends / money their whole life. Life is unfair. I can complain about it until I die, or do something about it. I missed out... but my attitude is, even though there are a lot of people on this board who have succeeded much more than I ever have, if I follow through with this, then I'll be in a better position then most men will ever be.

Women are great. It's a lot of fun to be around them. But women have not learned me anything in life. I had to find out myself. Going through the roughest moments of my life, that's how I learned.

That's maybe our differing life experiences, but other than parents & girls, life has been good to me. I've had to fight for that, but life has been easy. I'm sure if I wasn't concentrating on girls, I could have my own business by now easily. Women represent the only challenge right now in my life. I do the lifting, the reading, the self improvement, the meditation, I dress well, I have a lifting hobby and & reading hobby (and I'm going to start to fight soon), I make a pretty damn good wage (more probably than most of my family), and everything is well. I happen to think, thinking in terms of "rejection", women represent the pinnacle of that. Not saying that should be much, but women are the only thing that men want to get better at, where you're evaluated for EVERYTHING that you are. If I don't get a job... maybe that just means I didn't have the relevant experience. If a friend doesn't like me... maybe that just means I'm an asshole. But if a women doesn't want to reciprocate... that could mean my looks, my personality, my status, my power, so many things about who I am can come into play. So in my life I never really face that type of rejection, so going through that now has allowed me to really test myself and grow as a person where I've never had the opportunity to otherwise.

There are guys who had a lot of girlfriends and are still blue pill as fuck, not understanding why their girlfriends leave them after 6 months.

Right but that doesn't really talk to the situation at hand. We're talking about how we missed out. Making an analogy to dudes who are blue pill girlfriends, the only way that's relevant to the conversation is if you're saying that I could have had girlfriends but been blue pill as fuck. That's true, but I also could have not been. Are we going to play the "could've would've" game? "Oh you could have started a business back in the day but you could have ran bankrupt at the time and that would have been bad". Again it's not about output or results, it's about mindset. Nowadays, my attitude I'm trying to cultivate is that obviously I want 6 hot girlfriends, all HB10. But... my main goal is to be comfortable putting myself out there, WIN or FAIL. To me, a guy who is blue pill in a relationship but actually approaches women and makes it happen, has a leg up on someone like me who is naturally redpill but bluepill as fuck when it comes to having abundance and not giving a shit about what any strange woman's perception of you is.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Fair enough. My goal with this post was to not let the feeling of missing out kill your motivation and to see positive things of your past. It might of seemed like I was trying to say: "I don't care that I didn't fuck bitches in high school and college".

That's not the point I was trying to make. I see a lot of comments of guys saying fucking hot bitches in college is the end all. The ultimate experience in life.

"However if I had went after women in my youth, I'd have much more confidence, I'd probably be in better shape, I might have a better job."

Maybe. Who knows. If I was a natural alpha or let's say I had a red pill upbringing I would of probably be in a better position in my life right now, yes. I would probably not even read or know about The Red Pill. But I was not naturally alpha.

I think your mentality is good in the way that you take on life without fooling yourself.

But shit, we live in a sick society. Technology and artificial stimulation are part of our daily lives. It's very easy to lose yourself as a teenager/young adult. Especially with the wrong type of upbringing. I'm not blaming society or my upbringing, I blame myself, I made those bad decisions. But you can't ignore the fact that we live in a sick society and to be honest I didn't think about the consequences when I was a teenager and even when I was 20. Yes it's still my fault, but I have grown and I can now see where I went wrong. That's no reason to feel like "missing out". I had a great time in my life while playing video games, even without fucking the HB9's college sl00ts.

Still I think you are putting women way too high on a pedestal. Why is them rejecting you a big deal?

[–]throwaway-aa2 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Still I think you are putting women way too high on a pedestal. Why is them rejecting you a big deal?

So there are multiple ideas here at hand I'm trying to convey, so this might get confusing.

The idea (correct me if I'm wrong) is to not let any sort of rejection affect who you are as a man and how you see yourself. This is a given.

Think of it like this. $1,000 is much more than a penny, but both are small change to a millionaire, but not the guy making minimum wage.

Rejection from a women is much, much more significant than rejection from other prospects (jobs, your local soccer team) to someone who cares what people think, but not someone who has a masculine positive attitude. Get what I'm saying? I'm saying one form of rejection is much higher than another, but they're BOTH small change to someone who has a very healthy mindset.

So what I'm saying, is that at the time, women represented a lot of rejection for me (and still do but I'm working through that now). By confronting that fear and rejection, I feel like it is taking a path to having a healthy mind by confronting the biggest rejection to who you are you can take. So it's recognizing that I could get over rejection by just doing multiple job interviews too... but I don't consider that as much as rejection as it is the rejection from a woman. So exposing myself to the most fearful situation I believe is the way to get yourself out of being afraid as quickly as possible.

I tell people this: I don't give a fuck about HB8-10 right now. My only goal is to try as hard as I can. That means not half assing it, and that also means to just confront my fears and confront rejection. That's my only goal... because at the end of the day, I would probably be bagging extremely hot women right now if I had absolutely zero fear & zero anxiety and plenty of abundance... it would be very easy after a couple of weeks to get that naturally because I have the right mindset. I could be fucking a HB5 for all I care right now... hell, I dropped a LTR that was the best sex of my life and someone I loved to pursue this... so yeah it's not about the results... it's about showing up, not shying away from the fears, going after the damn thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Yes I agree that that is the way to go. How do/did they reject you?

Personally I have had no trouble getting interests from girls but I was too big of a pussy and sometimes I still am. I feel it inside me, the fear of rejection. Even though they clearly show they are interested.

Yes I think the only way to get better at this is to get rejected a shit ton of times and learn from the experiences.

[–]throwaway-aa2 1 point2 points  (4 children)

well... my fears are much bigger than my reality. Some women just show indifference... it's funny because like you said, I'll see many women staring at me sometimes. It's just I've had experiences with certain women, and I just project those few experiences on to every women I see ever. Given I've had some bad experiences (I had actually forgotten that I was not so afraid in high school... and actually had the balls to walk up to a girl I knew while she was at her locker and asked her out... and I remember her giving me a weird look, shutting her locker, smiling and walking way. She did like me later on but it was just weird the entire way through). So basically I've still sort of haven't matured out of when I was a kid / teenager. I don't really get "rejected" per se and even when I do, it's because I come across as very weak in terms of how I choose to go about demonstrating my interest. I usually choose to do so very safely, with minimal polarization and too much nice guy smile at everything they say, so girls usually don't like that AT ALL and I get soft rejected because I'm being a little bitch. At least that's what's happened in the past so far.

But all that is changing now. I now know that I have to polarize, I have to be aggressive and I have to sexualize the encounter, I have to put myself out there but at the same time be 100% ok with the rejection (but at the same time, not necessarily half assing it just because I don't care about the rejection).

Like you said... I've had multiple women literally chase after me. But there is still that lingering self doubt that I have from as a teenager, and all the soft rejections I've gotten from not really escalating or pursing. I'm just starting so I have no doubt once I start going to clubs, going out and gaming and really getting over that anxiety, that pussy is just going to flow for me naturally. All apart of the process I guess. I just wish I either wasn't such a pussy when I was younger, or realized it was something I probably should have been actively working on when I was younger. But then again, now that I'm trying to make up for everything I haven't done, I might be better in the end because of it. Who knows.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I feel you, you sound like me.

Although for me, I don't see it as a problem anymore. I have gotten better in a short amount of time, just by getting rejected but by also seeing that I can succeed with (hot) women.

Most of the time, like you said yourself is that the fear is bigger then reality. It's often so blown up out of proportion that you can't see through it. This fear is blown up because you (and me too) probably ran away from it for a while.

Funny thing:

I remember two years ago, I had zero experience. I was so desperate I went on a date with an absolute whale. An unattractive fat girl. First date drinks, second date movie. Never escalated. But I was very naturally alpha to her because I was repulsed by her. And thus cold and also teasing sometimes. I felt ashamed being with her in public.

For a while I felt dirty for even dating this girl. But it also gave me more of a DGAF mentality. I saw that I was not anxious around this girl, so why should I be anxious around a HB9?

Two months pass or so. I go out to a club, see a hot girl dancing, progress from there. Treat her the same as the fat whale. And voila, I lost my virginity to a hot girl. That in itself showed me that I can get any girl if I just stop listening to those irrational fears.

I think it really helped that she was hot because after that most girls were not as sexy as she was in the looks department, which makes it even easier.

So I think if you go clubbing, always go for the hottest girls. Doesn't matter if you get rejected. Just have fun too (dance) with your homeboys.

[–]throwaway-aa2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You're right. I have to figure out the logistics for this though.... partially because I don't know if I enjoy dancing just by myself (I'm a good dancer but I usually prefer dancing with someone... maybe it's time to take some lessons).

Also, I'm most likely going to be going out by myself, so I'm not sure if I'm going to have a homebase... that's been the difficulty with this stuff because I've been trying to do it solo because I don't really have any friends (and the ones that I do aren't trying to do pickup or approaching or anything like that). I totally agree with you though, if there's a way to do it, thats the way: club, pick up the hot chick, get that abundance mindset, done and done. But I'd have to learn to go to a club and have fun dancing all by myself in order to make that happen. But that doesn't sound like half a bad idea I guess.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you live in the USA?

I don't, not sure how clubs are in the USA. Going alone is fine but definitely more of a challenge. If you can have fun alone dancing by yourself in a club, you're already at 75%.

I would try to find a small group of guys who are open and you can kind of go with their flow a bit. Don't just socialise with the women, also socialise with the guys, it's just as important.

But you knew that already probably, it's important!

[–]Extract 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, I was reading this thread for a completely different reason, but I'm curious now - how DO you approach a girl you have little to zero relation to?
Like, a pretty girl at a club, or a cute girl that you remember from seeing one, and know she lives somewhere in the same city?

So far in my life, the most unrelated girls I've stroke a conversation with where co-workers on part-time jobs, girls from my faculty but outside my classes, etc.

How do you approach a less related girl without it being awkward?

[–]Red_SoloCup 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The thrill of high level competition is so much better than sex. So much better. This post is so true.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women are the cherry topping. Not the ice cream.

[–]IronBallsOfKnowledge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whenever I reflect on the best experiences of my life, sex and hooking up with girls when I was younger has never jumped out at me.

Thinking about playing HS football, the parties we threw, causing mischief with my buddies, and just enjoying the time spent doing shit we weren't supposed to was far greater than sex.

Sex was like icing on the cake. And I was getting laid with some babes. It still doesn't compare to all the stupid shit we used to do that I miss.

[–]C00l_Guy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sitting in a cave playing CRPGs and trolling the net.

Well at least the RPGs gave me insight into self improvement.

[–]Neburel 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I think the redpill's ultimate message should be; achievement above all else.

[–]trplurker 3 points3 points [recovered]

achievement above all else.

Now, achievements mean nothing without a purpose. Getting a piece of paper or climbing some mountain mean jack shit without the growth and experience that comes with the journey.

So life experience above all else. Personal growth above all else.

[–]flexiblehold 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While no person should live a life of regret for missed opportunities, it's begging the question to say pussy isn't that big of a deal. TRP advocates an abundance mentality, not an apathetic mentality -- pussy is taken off the pedestal when you start slaying it, not when you say "ah, I would have as much fun playing World of Warcraft and having my Mom cook me a Hot Pocket."

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]49ered 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You definitely missed out to an extent and I have to say that as a natural who is red pilled. The abundance I had back in college is something that I have yet to experience again. I went to a university in Southern California and joined a fraternity there, it was an amazing experience. Just being in a house with your bros and some girls occasionally dropping by. Not a care in the world, just you and others your age going through the same things in life together. Delaying the inevitable adulthood and just living life the best you can until it arrives.

I wasn't even that great back then, compared to the new me I had awful game, was not nearly as aesthetic, and didn't even have much money but it was amazing. You cannot underestimate the overabundance of single, decent looking, and available women you come across when you're in college as an American. Some of the experiences you have in college, well you can't really have them again. The small things are what make it, sleeping with a girl in the morning instead of going to class because if you skip class, big deal. On the other hand, skip your job for that same reason and you're fired or just stressing out about life.

The best part is being in such a large environment with people who are around your age, you already have so much more in common with them.

I will say, at times college gets overhyped but there is something to it.

All that being said, you need to appreciate your new experiences in life. Unfortunately, I also feel that my life has not been that great after college in terms of social aspects because everyone is just so out of my age range. Sometimes, I wish that there was a place people ages 22-30 could go to where they would interact with others in their own age range.

[–]e_n_t_r_0_p_y 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. Just wanted to add, chasing your dreams and putting everything into it can and will involve sacrifice. Sex / female relationships might be one of those things. However light at the end of the tunnel is that if you are financially successful in your endeavors, cash can buy all the female company you could want/need.

[–]truthiesttruth 10 points11 points  (14 children)

This is just male hamster rationalization.

You became engrossed in video games for the exact same reasons as all the other young males. Video games provide instant gratification with zero risk, you dont have to work at anything and there is no risk of failure.

Sex is high risk high reward behavior, you have to court women and you can fail, she can laugh at you and shittalk you infront of a crowd of women and ruin your chances with all of them.

worst thing that can happen in a video game? waiting 5 seconds to restart?

To say you "didnt give a fuck about women" is not true (unless you are asexual/fag). You did want to bang 20yr old hb8, you just didnt want to put the effort in and risk failure. Especially since you were a virgin at the time, you did not have a good idea of what you were missing out on, porn is nothing like real sex.

Joe Rogan shares the same views I do on video games: https://youtu.be/pcR4QxSqjn0?t=5937

Watch that. Every minute you spend playing a video game is a minute wasted. It does NOTHING for you.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You have a good point for sure.

There is a big difference between competetive gaming and gaming for "instant gratification". While even competetive gaming has instant gratification (you kill someone, boom dopamine) it's a different dynamic.

I played for money prizes, tournaments, online and offline (LAN). It's not instant gratification. I would practice at least 8 hours a day, most of the time more to get to that goal.

It's also true that I wanted to fuck a woman, of course. But when you never had sex until let's say 21, for me it became less interesting. I never experienced sex so I wasn't extremely interested in it. I noticed after I had sex for the first time I wanted more. But when you have never experienced it, it's like: "meh, I want to have sex right now so I'll masturbate". I was seriously not interested in women. Deep inside, yes I was afraid of being rejected, but eventually you create a mentality where you can live with it (A.K.A. omega?). Ignore them.

I would of loved to be a total casanova back then. But on the other hand I also enjoyed the videogames. What I'm saying is, there's good things to the bad things. Videogames are a drain of time and life, but some of the experiences I had on it don't compare to every day life situations.

I can look back and say: "Fuck my life, I never did this, this, this an that". Or I can look back and say: "Playing videogames was fun back then but now it's time to move on".

Deep inside I still love being a geek, watching anime, playing videogames, etc. But I know it won't make me happy in the long run. Because yes, it makes you stay in your little comfort zone and overall drains your motivation to get somewhere in your life.

[–]redzorp 3 points4 points  (5 children)

While there could be a slight element of male HR in OP's original post, I feel that it was mostly solid.

Yes writing "didn't give a fuck about women" is a bit of hyperbole (of course he wanted to fuck women) but is, at it's base, valid. I was the same way in my teens. But instead of focusing as much on playing video games, I loved studying, learning new things, programming my own video game and doing all sorts of activities with male friends. Sure, I would have enjoyed humping some of the hotter girls in school - but setting that as goal never even entered my mind. And it wasn't due to lack of looks, social charm or female attention - I actually had all of that. I just wasn't really motivated to pursue women back then as it would have taken away from activities that interested me more. I felt that girls were stupid and that dating was stupid. I felt that guys who spent all their time obsessing about girls were stupid.

By my late teens and early twenties, I finally started dating and humping and enjoyed it (and still do). That was the right time frame for me. For some guys it might be earlier and for others it might even be later.

Insisting that all males must be courting and chasing females in their teens is just nonsense. That's just just pedestalizing pussy.

[–]truthiesttruth 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Nowhere in my post did I insist that men chase women, Its got nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that sitting for 8h/day infront a screen gets you zero social skills, zero experience with women, zero money (it costs money), zero muscle, zero contacts. it gives you fuckall.

it does not improve your life at all, this whole fucking thread is full of bp hamster rationalization about dealing with a past addiction.

youth is wasted on the young.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

If you play on a high competitive level you play for money.

I also started lifting when I was 17 and I actually had a social life, even when I was sometimes gaming a shit ton. I would still go to parties, have fun, etc.

The biggest obstacle is women for me, it still is. And yes it probably has to do with me not building up that experience while being a teen.

But I don't feel like I missed out and I enjoyed my time. That's all. Some here are far too melodramatic about their past mistakes.

[–]truthiesttruth 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If you play on a high competitive level you play for money.

If you play for money you are playing for fucking peanuts, how many millionaires come from esports? tens? hundreds? thousands. Saying you made money off of it doesnt necessarily mean it was financially beneficial, you have to factor in opportunity costs, which are difficult/impossible to measure. What % of gamers end up playing for many any way? There is more money in poker than esports.

I also started lifting when I was 17 and I actually had a social life, even when I was sometimes gaming a shit ton. I would still go to parties, have fun, etc.

Well then you managed to do what 99.99% of male gamers cannot, the vast majority of hardcore gamers are unhealthy/overweight and have underdeveloped social skills, your anecdotal evidence doesnt change this (though I am glad you lived a more balanced life).

Look, I am not trying to say that you should be bawling over your lost youth, crying about wasted time only wastes more time.

All I am saying is that once you recognize video games for what they really are (an addiction whos cons DO NOT outweigh the pros), gaming loses ALL appeal. It is a complete waste of time.

It is also necessary to accept that you lost a large portion of your youth if you want to learn from your mistake. Trying to rationalize the decisions you made as a child is foolish. You were addicted to a drug.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

True it was definitely an addiction. Just like I was addicted to porn for a long time. Both habits will kill any motivation you might have.

While porn and video games have the same type of dynamic, just like Tinder, FaceBook and other instant-gratification media. Porn was the worst for me.

It started with the video games but porn made me overall not chase women/pussy as a teen. It's of course not just porn that did it. I was scared (a pussy), like so many other teen boys. Girls were intimidating. Probably/maybe because of the way I was raised. So I used porn to fulfil my sexual needs and to run away from reality. The problem is, you never grow out of the "anxiety for girls" thing if you never go up to a girl.

Also I was far from healthy when I played videogames. I was very skinny. Drank a shit ton of cokes every day (sugar and caffeine). Overall sleep was poor. So no I was not healthy. But I still had a deep motivation to have a social life and to not isolate myself. I hated going out to clubs and bars (it was not as stimulating as my beloved video games). But I still did it. I knew I had to. I wanted a girl, I wanted it, but I closed myself off from it because it was too frightening at that point. Fuck man, your post fucked me in my mental asshole.

Both video games and porn was a way for me to run away from it. The longer I ran away from it the bigger and the more irrational the fears became. Absolutely a big mistake. And your reply makes more sense now that I have thought about it for a while. It is painful.

I have quit all videogames I think over a year ago, maybe even longer. I also quit porn over a year ago. And yes I am happier and overall my motivation is higher. I would never recommend anyone playing video games and especially the amount I played. But I think this mindset (of me in the original post) is a way to cope with it or to at least be able to move on from it.

It is male hamstering. It's the same when a girl has fucked 100 dudes and tries to forget about it or rationalize it like: "I was young and stupid". It was me who made the (unconscious) decision of playing videogames a lot. My home situation, my school situation was all crap at the same time. And I didn't know how to deal with it at that point in my life. I chose the wrong option: run away, instead of fighting it.

Now I can see that I made a mistake and it was me that made the mistake. I am not pissed off or sad about it.

Yes I can now see that my post was rationalising (e.g. "I loved videogames back then" / "didn't care about women").

I have learned that I am far from red pill, especially in dealing with reality. I am a lot better with women but I have found out you can't change that deeply engrained blue pill way of dealing with reality in a short amount of time. But I will keep on learning and keep on going. Thanks for the insight.

[–]truthiesttruth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The scary part is that your submission received 89% upvotes, 500 in total. There are lots of delusional bluepills in here masquerading, but then again at least they are here so they do stand a chance.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

It does nothing for you, except giving you a dopamine high. Which was fine for me. Same goes for sex, what does sex do for you? It makes you feel good. You could argue: "Having sex with a lot of women will make your social status higher" but even that is not always so.

I do agree that video games have no place in your life if you want to improve. Period. Same goes for porn and smoking weed. I'm not here to defend playing video games. To be fair if I could re-live my teens I would do it differently.

[–]DannyDemotta 5 points6 points  (2 children)

To be fair if I could re-live my teens I would do it differently.

That contradicts the point of this entire post...

I "missed out" and i'm pissed - and that anger enables me to make sure i never miss out again. If i didnt care, or rationalized doing stupid shit instead of improving myself, studying hard and chasing women, then i couldnt say the same.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

With the knowledge and confidence I have now I would do it differently. Which is unrealistic because I didn't have this knowledge back then.

I am not angry. Why are you angry that you missed out? Probably because it's unattainable. It's the same with women who get older but reject it. They want to be like their 20's self but deep inside she knows she will never be like that again. Depression hits.

This is life. Fucking life. But it's not like you have not lived your life. It's not like you have not experienced other things. Just because you did not have a female or sex in your life back then, does that mean you missed out on life?

Do females have so much power in this society that if you did not get involved with them you have not lived you missed out and thus your life sucked/sucks? That's a fucking joke. Yes it's natural to be chasing women and I think things like videogames, porn and drugs can kind of fuck that natural habit up. But we live in a very (human-induced) artificial society and world anyways.

I like your attitude though, there's nothing wrong with using anger as energy to improve life.

[–]Isaiah4verse1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said. I find something very inhuman about guys who feel their lives are worthless unless they're successful with women. At that point you cease to be a human but rather an entertainment unit for women.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I couldn't believe what fucking sub I was on for a minute. What a load of shit.

[–]Glenbert -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sex is high risk high reward behavior, you have to court women and you can fail, she can laugh at you and shittalk you infront of a crowd of women and ruin your chances with all of them.

Son, if this is what you consider "high risk," then life is going to eat you alive.

[–]chivalry_augustus 3 points3 points [recovered]

You have to understand that there's a good reason why, in a feminist society, men will be shamed and made to feel bad about their sexual experience, especially their lack of. It means that men who have "missed out" are constantly inflating the value of sex, and by logical extrapolation, the value of the female. Having men be shamed, especially by one another, is the best thing for creating a train of willing betas who, later in life, will inevitably value the female far higher than they ought by virtue of its scarcity.

The simple, fundamental fact is that sex isn't important. I know guys struggle to get their heads round this, or rather, their testicles, their libido (etc, etc), but this is truth. If you place sex on a pedestal then you're going to struggle irrespective of whether your core beliefs are alpha, beta, omega, sigma (whatever bull-shit title you want to use to identify yourself or others). We live in a hyper-sexualised culture as a consequence of all the things that are highlighted here, namely women's growing irrelevance in terms of what they offer men beyond sex allied with men's growing inability to secure an inter-sexual relationship, either on an ongoing or limited basis.

I've never had an abundance of sex in my life and I don't expect that will ever change. Why? I don't feel as if I'm in any way lacking. I'm tall, okay-looking, independent and utterly self-centred. These characteristics serve me well in terms of looking after my own interests. But I've never been that interested in women. I've never met a woman who I've really wanted to pursue on any basis beyond her being hot. I've never met a woman who I've felt attraction to on a basis beyond mere sexuality. Hence, I've never enjoyed the company of a woman for more than a short space of time. I hate sharing a bed, it just is not worth it.

And because it's not important to me, it doesn't bother me. Women try to goad me about not having a girlfriend. Men are worse. Yes, the ones who ought to share a brotherhood and a camaraderie are doing as I say they do in my second paragraph, putting sex on a pedestal, not just for themselves but for me. I brush them off because I genuinely do not care. I know that I will never get married, I know that I don't want kids because they're too much of a risk for me. I live a good life of freedom, of being able to do the things I want. I don't have to work a good job to please some woman's material fantasies. I don't have to keep a woman happy because she's always welcome to leave.

Everything is good and I didn't miss out on anything. In fact, sex, when I discovered it, broke my heart. Because I put it so high on a pedestal that it really gutted me just how disappointing it was. And it hasn't been much better since. Women aren't very good at sex, they don't need to be. They're not very good with men, they don't need to be. And they don't care much about you, you're just a transient experience they move between. You're expected to perform, you're expected to please her. And if she does not do the same for you, it doesn't matter because only men are good or bad lovers. Women just do what they do in life, passively exist throughout the experience.

[–]marcoxy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live a good life of freedom, of being able to do the things I want.

I'm not suicidal or anything but I really don't know what it's worth doing.

While on BP I was constantly told what it was...

Now I'm working to keep my job, I maintain my body in good health, I am improving my understanding of the world by reading TRP, but I don't know what's it worth to do.

I am just supposed to increment my social status, find a good woman (less AWALT then average), make a family, struggle with the woman until death. Just like under BP but with less unicorns.

[–]Glenbert 0 points1 point  (1 child)

...in a feminist society, men will be shamed and made to feel bad about their sexual experience, especially their lack of.

You need to hang out with more regular guys. This has sweet fuck all to do with feminism. This is just a part of life. Accept it and move on.

[–]ChadThundercockII -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is not feminism. It is gynocentrism. Humanity cares more about females than males. We are evolving toward greater complexity and sex is losing its weight. When sex is no more valuable, women lose their place and are no more valuable.

[–]theredpoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree. And great sex is....well, great, but to me it doesn't even compare to the satisfaction of building something in your life, like business, or making progress, like in weightlifting.

And sex with shitty women to me isn't worth it at all.

I'd rather use my hand than to get it on with a woman that wants to make me pass all of her tests before getting naked.

The way TRP moves men forward is this, to not place as much emphasis on sex but rather on improving your life all around. Sex will come, of course, but putting pussy on a pedestal is a recipe for unhappiness.

[–]Hank711 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, it might be for the best. I had a great high school and college (and college 2.0 in grad school) even though I shouldn't have been in LTRs as much as I was, but the thing is, if you have a professional career after, life will be dull in comparison. It's not impossible to live a similar life, but its much harder while sinking 60hrs a week into work, and probably not worth it. To the dude who missed college shenanigans though, its an improvement, and so he's happier.

[–]Dragontitz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

A note, people will judge you anyway. For anything. If you shift away from being a "good moral (Christian) citizen" people will deem you as a bad person. If your not a beta bucks good buy, then your a sexist mysoginist for "using women". If you find young women hot, your a pedo. If you don't to get married to a 30 year old single mom, your a immature man child.

Just be as alpha as you can. Value your close friends and family more than anyone else. Fuck any haters

[–]youngspeech 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regret is a useless emotion! Its in the past, it doesn't matter anymore!

[–]evilassaultweapon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true. My regret now is that I spent time lamenting my lack of female contact during those time. Fortunately I did plenty to better myself. One card I will always be able to pull now is my experience working on cars. Whenever someone whines about how they paid X hundred (or thousand) dollars on a repair I just chuckle and say something like "that would have set me back less than a bill and just a couple more 'wasted' hours than it cost you". Thank goodness for skills.

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had plenty of experience and still would rather play Halo than put the time and effort to get an orgy in place (F-F-Me)

[–]Andress1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What im affraid is that i will be stuck after college with the same people in a job and will barely meet attractive women and new people that often in my daily routine. Or be in a small group of people at work. I love being around lots of people and meeting new ones often and the idea of that abundance stopping terrifies me.

[–]brokenshelf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always viewed TRP as being general life advice. Sex is merely one payout of many in regards to self-actualization.

Then again, I haven't been laid in years so my desire for sex is basically nonexistent at this point. I could be as biased as the guy who's getting laid almost every night and can't see any path beyond that.

[–]ShervinMthe1 0 points0 points [recovered]

Im expecting this to be downvoted bc of the stigma video games have, but I completely agree. In high school, There was a certain rush when playing competitive Halo/Gears 1/Street Fighter that I STILL haven't felt today, 6 years later. Even after taking down HB7-9s (on my scale), the rush isn't there. Its just like eh, whatever... And then carry on with my day. I also have made tons of my core friends through video games, and although we all grew out of it, they are still my best friends.

But like you said, back then I didnt care about getting laid. I didnt care about chasing girls. I do look back though and say "damn, if I knew then what i know now..." But thats flawed logic. I had a blast back then playing video games, just as I am having a blast now not playing video games. Being only 23, there is plenty of time to make up for lost chances. And I disagree that video games are just "instant gratification." Anyone who has played competitively knows there is no instant gratification when you are getting your ass whooped by pros.

[–]Transmigratory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer being a late bloomer. In my case it allowed me to work on other things which unknowingly improved my tool box. You could say pieces of my SMV picture.

[–]NotQuiteRedPill -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Forget the thought of "missing out." Here's why.

I have a really good friend who, at 13, was having sex with his girlfriend. She was already giving blowjobs and swallowing.

I wouldn't be having sex for another 5 or 6 years. And when I did, I wasn't even having the good sex he had at 13.

Fast forward a couple decades and obviously I've had a lot more sex. My current girlfriend is awesome, especially sexually. My friend.... Married that same girl he slept with at 13 (though he did "cheat" throughout his teenage years). She got insanely fat and was always pretty naggy/bossy. Needless to say, his head start (no pun intended) didn't help him. His best sex was in his teens and 20s. The end (unless he's been cheating). LOL.

[–]HeinousFu_kery -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I gave a fuck about sex, but was socially clueless - that goes away in time for most people as it did for me. The early bloomers? They've got alimony, child support and other miseries. Me? A "high number", a happy marriage and a knowing smile.

It's the long game that counts, no matter how frustrated you get.

[–]ThreeEyez -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

Awesome post dude. I bash myself sometimes because I'm 21 and I've only slept with 9 girls. Then I think.. there are 40 year old virgins out there shut the fuck up! (me talking to my ego)

[–]CH375268277ARS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To make a comment relevant to this post... I'm 33 and I've only had 6. You're looking good man.

[–]Isaiah4verse1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao! That's quite a lot dude. And I am a 32 year old virgin!