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So r/AskMen is a pretty bluepill place on the best of days, but this thread really got me. Also had a lot of redpill truths that I think is important to dissect.

Thread here.

Background: OP got cheated on and unbelievably is considering whether he should end the relationship or stay. Cue the replies from men talking about how they've been willfully cuckolded by their wives and have quietly accepted it, because their wives are just so special and loving!

I found out last year that my wife cheated on me. It was fucking hard! The circumstances were when she was in the middle of a huge depression and didn't know what way was up. She went out for a night out with a load of friends from Uni in 2012, got very drunk, and ended up sleeping with one of them. She kept it quiet and wanted to pretend it never happened, and cut off contact with the dude. I didn't find out until she got a suspicious FB message and was forced to fess up.

Watch as this guy makes up every excuse under the sun. His wife cheated because of depression! That makes it okay. Remember, attaching a sob story to infidelity will excuse the fact that at some point, she decided ThunderBro McDude at the local bar was more worthy of fucking her silly than her own husband was.

My, now current wife, cheated on me just before getting married. We had been together about 4 years at the time. I told one friend, my best man, and he told me to bounce before the nuptials. It hit me kind of it me hard, but I knew I loved this girl. I told her this would be a long road to total forgiveness, if it came at all. I told her I couldn't have kids with her until I trusted her entirely. She cried a lot and said she wish she never told me. I told her we're past that point and she needs to decide what to do. We're now married about a year now. Things have been very hit or miss. We seem to have pretty wild swings in our physical relationship, but more often than not we get along pretty well.

"She cried a lot and said she wished she never told me." <--- Read that a few times. The wife wasn't upset because she felt bad or guilty, she was upset because she got caught. This is a common phenomenon among cheaters and I'd argue, women in general. They are deathly afraid of the gravy train coming to a halt (ie getting divorced or having their pedestalizing boyfriend leave them). So they'll try to bury their animal instincts under mounds of obfuscation and shrewdness. If they're caught, the only tragedy - in their eyes - is that they got caught.

And yet this schlub married her anyway. What a disgrace.

I'll save the best quote for last. This shit got 66 upvotes as of now:

Just remember that there's a world of difference between a one-time thing where she is drunk and letting her guard down leads to a "one thing led to another, and before I knew it" circumstance, and a continued sober premeditated affair.

You have to be fucking kidding me. How far deep into the bluepill asshole does one need to bury himself to say things like this? So a one-time orgasm fest with the pool boy is different than a premediated affair? I can't even begin to understand what damage feminism and "women are wonderful" mentality has done to our society to make people eagerly say this kind of stuff.

Anyway, read the entirety of the thread. It serves as a potent warning of how much one can be blinded by total subservience to women - to the point where you, as a man, can lose all of your dignity and be left a shell of a human being.


[–]ho_made_apple_butter 88 points89 points  (1 child)

A man sleeps with a woman: "yeah I fucked her"

A woman sleeps with a man: "somehow we ended up sleeping together"

[–]Rathadin 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Out of all the shit on this thread, and the other thread... this is one that made me actually laugh out loud.

[–][deleted] 547 points548 points  (75 children)

Those are the men that cannot be saved. If I had 50 gallons of water in a desert I would not spare them a drop because they won't stop eating salt and vinegar potato chips.

[–]WeAreGlidingNow 211 points211 points [recovered]

Wow, that's a great line; will re-use without giving you credit. Fits a situation of mine.

[–]waitfor_ittt 82 points83 points  (0 children)

will re-use without giving you credit.

Now that's a good line. I'll use that when I let the person know, in a cheeky way, that I'm using their line without citing them.

[–]ShitLordXurious 39 points40 points  (62 children)

Sorry to be that guy, but eating salt and vinegar crisps might not be such a bad idea in the desert. In the desert you lose a lot of salt due to dehydration, and can become salt depleted; also, the small amount of carbs in the potatoes will break down into sugar and water as you metabolise it which will help sustain you.

[–]RudeBlue 21 points21 points [recovered]

What good is the salt if you are DEHYDRATED? The water is what's important.

[–]ShitLordXurious 45 points46 points  (31 children)

Salt can help you absorb and retain water - ideally you want both.

[–]updock 5 points6 points  (21 children)

People used to carry salt tabs for just that reason. But I thought it had been proven that they weren't worth much.

[–]Vid-Master 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Sports drinks have sodium in them for this reason, "electrolytes" = sodium

A few long distance runners have died from drinking too much water and not having enough sodium / potassium in their body

[–]ShitLordXurious 1 point2 points  (17 children)

I find taking salt with water when I'm dehydrated works far better than just drinking water on its own.

I know I read a study recently that showed athletes rehydrated better when given salt tablet and water.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (14 children)

Thats why Gatorade works better theres salt in it.

[–]MicroMinion 24 points25 points  (7 children)

I've never seen TRP get this off topic before lol.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

find it more interesting than talking about a bunch of blue pill men who allow their wives to cheat tbh

[–]Hitlers_Boss 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Only bluepill men deny the replenishing power of electrolytes

But its seriously good to know science for self improvement and survival.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just fucking thinking this. This feels like mainstream reddit.

[–]1xwm -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I've got a solution! Lets start talking about the last time it got this off topic.

[–]Rathadin 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Brawndo works best of all though.

[–]limit_breaker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I mean, there's POWERTHIRST after all...

[–]mister_barfly75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brawndo

Oh man, I could go for a thirst mutilator right now

[–]_the_shape_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brawndo's got what plants crave

[–]hyperiron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in Mexico for a week and I drank water till I stopped sweating, then a bottle of Gatorade and is start sweating again, just keep alternating it's awesome

[–]riyuugonepro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hehe I do that too, being fully hydrated helps with holding frame, be more attentive to what really matter and overall be more in

Less susceptible to my own (weak) emotions

I drink water with a pinch of salt all day

[–]ElKod 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I think you are right here.. As far as how osmosis works, the side of the membrane with more salts is going to retain more water. The membrane in this case is the skin

[–]ShitLordXurious 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's a medical fact.

I'm surprised anyone is contending it - it could mean the difference between life and death, in an extreme situation.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In africa for a long time salt was literally worth its weight in gold for this reason.

[–]HannahFree 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So, why can't a guy stuck in the middle of the ocean drink saltwater? Does it change because the salt and water are mixed? Or is the salt too concentrated to benefit from the water?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya way too much. Energy drinks like Gatorade have salt in them, but no where near that much.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goddamn shitlord. Be gone with your logic and reasoning! We don't want your wisdom here!

[–]tentacle_kisses 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Water like, from the toilet?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

That movie is becoming truer and truer every year.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

When you ingest salt it is absorbed in the blood and this draws fluid into the cardiovascular system REVERSING the (immediate life threatening) effects of dehydration. This also shuts down the sweat glands preventing more water loss. You can go with a minimum of interstitial fluid but if the ionic concentration in the blood drops below very narrow parameters- as happens when you dehydrate- then you die.

TLDR: Salt keeps you from dying of dehydration.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]ShitLordXurious 4 points5 points  (7 children)

No, you lose salt when you become dehydrated.

Replacing salt is essential if you need to rehydrate quickly.

NHS website on treating dehydration.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] -4 points-4 points

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"Salts can't evaporate" They don't, they leave your body in sweat.

[–]Rathadin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up in the country... a lot of weekends of bailing hay, mowing fields, shit like that. After 12 hours on a tractor, sweating my fucking ass off, when the dusk sets in and it cools down such that you aren't sweating nonstop, you could see the white grains of salt on my forearm, from my sweat throughout the day.

Ol' boy up top, /u/poem_for_your_sock? He might have not said it in a manner that you're used to hearing it, but he's right.

Salt. Don't. Evaporate. It will collect on your arms and stay there once the sweat dries though. You still have to replenish those salts in your body... assuming you enjoy being alive.

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounded good as fuck, but I'm glad you mentioned this. I was going to steal his shit too.

[–]shhRP -5 points-4 points  (8 children)

Sorry to be that guy, but eating salt and vinegar crisps might not be such a bad idea in the desert.

Why do so many redditors feel the need to miss the point and rub some little psuedo-accurate factoid in everyone's face as if they are educating us?

Do yourself a favor and don't concentrate on the minutia of a metaphor that are irrelevant to the case unless it brings up a valid point.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

It did educate a surprising number of people on the importance of salt in the human body.

[–]fatalcharm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, while I totally understand what /u/shhRp is saying, I think this particular time it was needed.

[–]Rathadin 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Because one of you fucking morons will inevitably end up doing something stupid because you heard something stupid and no one corrected you. That's why.

Pedantic people aren't pedantic because we enjoy being right all the time. I already know I'm fucking right most of the time. I don't need someone else verifying to me what I already know.

I'm taking time out of my day to make you less of a dumbass... just shut up, learn something, and move the fuck along.

And if you're wondering... "Is Rathadin talking to me?" If this shit applies to you, I'm talking to you. If it doesn't apply to you, I'm not talking to you.

[–]blue_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well ... they are a tasty snack.

[–]fifth0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair it's a shit metaphor and isn't constructive. But I do agree with you reddit tends to focus on the minutia.

[–]ShitLordXurious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another obvious troll account!

"ShhRP", lol.

[–]recon_johnny -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes. Dammit, you know the context, what he's meaning, and still have to point out some bullshit? I feel bad for seconding this.

[–]AnonymousOctopus1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People like you sicken me. If I had 50 gallons of water in a desert I would not spare a drop on you because you won't stop eating salt and vinegar potato chips.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I disagree. They can be saved, but only by themselves.

I was one of them, stayed with a girl who cheated on me. I dumped her for a month but I couldnt say no to sex offered on a silver platter (my prospects were nonexistent). Eventually I realized I was a total pussy. I had no respect from others, and I didn't deserve any because I had no respect for myself.

We ended up breaking up after I got too sick of her shit. That was 4 years ago, and I am an entirely different man today.

[–]foldpak111 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Those chips are so fucking good.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Try sea salt and balsamic vinegar it's like the Ferrari of salt and vinegar chips

[–]RealRational 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I prefer sea salt and cracked pepper myself

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cracked pepper and lime ruins my calories though cause i eat the whole packet cause their so fucking good

[–]kol15 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

yeah dude, terrible analogy

if we're talking death vs salt and vinegar chips I would have an awful lot of hesitation

[–]Endorsed ContributorStories_of_Red 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Unless you will lose access to your children, or suffer a crippling financial loss, you never speak to an unfaithful woman again.

And if you find yourself in the circumstances where your access to children or financial ruin is the reason you cannot leave, you must carefully plan the next few years to change that. Then leave.

Never stay one day longer than you must. Ever. If you can leave immediately, and never speak to her again, that is what you do.

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points  (4 children)

Whenever I start feeling down on myself, I just go to /r/AskBetas and think "well at least I'm not one of them".

EDIT: Fucking faggots lol. A woman responds to the "there's a world of difference" nonsense by saying

No there isn't. Zero women in the history of fucking has accidentally fallen on a dick, vagina first.

Fucking -19 points. Even a woman is telling them that they're bullshitting but these betas wanna believe their wives made a little mistake sooooo bad.

EDIT 2: Had no idea /r/askbetas was an actual sub.

[–]Gay_For_Gary_Oldman 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That woman has more balls than the rest of the thread combined.

[–]BlackHeart89 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is the goddamn quote of the year right there!

[–]ilikesquash2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Found the comment to give her an upvote! Started reading the responses HOLY COW! They started to analogize it to the difference between Premeditated murder and murder by just snapping. Man, and she points out its a good analogy because end result is still A) person is dead and B) they go to jail! So A)Person cheated and B) Break it off immediately. Results still the same. I wish more people were as logical as she.

[–]1jb_trp 247 points248 points  (85 children)

If you’re in a LTR and you get cheated on the best advice is this: Give them nothing. Maintain frame. Don’t get upset or act emotional. Cut all ties immediately. Get their shit out of your apartment, erase and block them off of social media, block their number, never talk or acknowledge them again, don’t get drunk and text them when you’re angry, don’t ask them to come over if your sad or horny. Nothing. It will break their hamster wheel.

Any attempt at showing kindness or communication after a man has been cuckholded is a step towards beta orbit.

[–]NapalmGod69 104 points105 points  (42 children)

This is good advice, but oh so hard to put into practice. My ex-wife cheated on me after 14 years of marriage, finally told me after about 6 months of marriage counselling. Funny how the fact that she was fucking her old high school boyfriend never came up in the counselling sessions. Instead, they were all about my failings. What I didn't understand then (but understand now) is that I was simply way too BB. Couldn't have been more BB. As in, she was a stay at home mom, and I would work all day then as soon as I got home took over with the kids. Was praised for "having family as the focus". Was told what a great husband I was. Sex life was shit, once a month maybe, but that happens with marriage and young kids I told myself.

In counselling she would complain that we were too enmeshed. That we didn't fight enough. At the time, I thought what BS is this - not fight enough?? Now, I understand that simply agreeing with everything a woman says will dry her up like the sahara, no matter how much they praise you for it.

Anyway, when she told me I was completely blind sided and shattered. Frame was so far gone it was on another planet. Would really have liked to stay stoic, and would really like to never have to talk to her again. But, we have kids and that is a priority for me.

TL;DR - ex wife is a cheating bitch. AWALT.

[–]1jb_trp 23 points24 points  (33 children)

God. I'm so sorry, man. Your situation is a little different. I've never been married and breaking up would be more fluid if a person was not married/didn't have kids with this woman.

[–]NapalmGod69 36 points37 points  (21 children)

Thanks. I am too embarrassed to get into just how beta I handled the break up and the initial period afterwards. However, one thing I am proud of is that I managed to dodge the spousal support bullet. Where I live they DGAF about infidelity when it comes to alimony. My lawyer told me I would be paying between X and Y for 7 to 14 years. Used her guilt in mediation to get some favourable terms, and ended up only paying for about 7 months, at a number close to the low end of the scale.

[–]1jb_trp 25 points26 points  (20 children)

I am too embarrassed to get into just how beta I handled the break up and the initial period afterwards.

Pre-TRP, we've all been there. I cringe at how I've handled myself in past relationships. I feel so much more empowered now.

Where I live they DGAF about infidelity when it comes to alimony. My lawyer told me I would be paying between X and Y for 7 to 14 years.

Alimony?? Shit, man. Did you have child support too? And did they figure those numbers separately?

[–]NapalmGod69 14 points15 points  (19 children)

Still paying child support, and yes, they are calculated separately. It is based on my income. There is a chart - everyone pays the same. You look up your income, the number of kids and the chart says "X" per month.

And you can bet it galls me when I have to pay it, and then when I have to step in to get the kids some basics anyway.

[–]1jb_trp 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Man. Your story is too RP-cliche. Your wife cheated on you, divorced you, you had to pay alimony and child support, and it doesn't sound like she's very good mother. Ugh.

[–]NapalmGod69 19 points20 points  (6 children)

Ugh, and cliche indeed. Couldn't have a more "thought she was a unicorn but AWALT" story than mine. Maybe one day I will tell it in a more fulsome way as a warning to others.

[–]chinawinsworlds 11 points12 points  (1 child)

There should be law where if you could prove they had been cheating, you'd avoid alimony and child support.

[–]Jordoom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There used to be, AFAIK. Hell, even in the Bible, when Jesus outlaws divorce (probably one of the most strict interpretations of marriage in human history), He makes an exception for a cheating wife.

Feminism has drove the world mad.

[–]DreamBoatGuy25 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's amazing to me. Two people can look into each others eyes and promise to spend the rest of their lives together and the crazy part is they really mean it, and yet more often than not, they end up divorced and hating each other.

One of the things I thank TRP for more than anything is showing me what a fucking shame marriage is.

I am so never ever getting married. Thanks for reminder #982349712340.

[–]1jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would be a great post and helpful to the community to hear about your dealings with infidelity, alimony, divorce, your children, and how TRP has helped you and what you'd do different now. I'd love to hear a more fleshed out version.

[–]Rathadin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say to you, kudos to you for having enough courage to end it and not try to "patch things up". The alimony and child support sucks dick, but they're your kids, so I know you'd give them anything they needed anyway.

[–]2renzy77 1 point2 points  (4 children)

And you can bet it galls me when I have to pay it, and then when I have to step in to get the kids some basics anyway.

Do women have any sort of burden of proof that the child support money they are recieving is actually being spent on...you know...the children? As opposed to herself, her new boyfriend, etc.

[–]Iramohs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. It's essentially the same with welfare as well.

[–]1independentmale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None whatsoever. They can spend it on anything they want as long as the kid gets fed and has some variety of roof over his head.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, and they won't because it's only justified as being what is best for the child. Same with paternity tests at birth, that will never fly because the state would have to support too many kids due to cheating whores.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My last payment of indentured servitude was last month. She neglected the kids, spent it all on herself, and always wanted more. Now that the kids are too old to get money for her, she has kicked them out. Yep mom of the century.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

What country do you live in? That's how it should be in the USA, but that would be logical and things here aren't logical: see Obamacare.

[–]NapalmGod69 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Canada. Our health care system, while not without its flaws, works pretty well too.

[–]mister_barfly75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a similar system in the UK. I'm supposed to pay a token amount of alimony (5p a year, I owe her 20p so I hope the bailiffs don't come calling) and a quarter of everything I earn gets taken from my salary every month for child support.

By some kind of weird co-incidence, she only persued me for child support when her new boyfriend moved in and her benefits got cut.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well ours is a giant pile of shit, and this new law is the biggest fucking joke ever. I can't wait until this asshole is out of office so the law can continue to be chipped away. Makes me want to fucking puke.

[–]ithrax 9 points10 points  (10 children)

I'm married and have a child.

I'd throw my wife out in 2 seconds flat if she cheated and she knows it.

I think it's important to let your SO know that you won't put up with disrespect or infidelity. You have to respond to their shit tests properly and let them know you can live without them if you are put in that position.

[–]StarDestinyGuy 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I'd throw my wife out in 2 seconds flat if she cheated and she knows it.

I think it's important to let your SO know that you won't put up with disrespect or infidelity.

So she'll just hide it especially well then, yes?

[–]ithrax 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Ha, yeah.

We've been together for 8 years without any issues at all. I'm honestly not concerned about infidelity. I know, I know AWALT; however, I believe it's the exception that proves the rule.

It's probably best to just disregard my story and continue believing that AWALT. The vast majority of them truly are like that.

[–]Hockey7111 8 points8 points [recovered]

The problem is EVERYONE thinks their unicorn is the acception

[–]Dayman_ah-ah-ah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats why I'm never getting married. Been with a girl 5 years. This is after going from BB to AF gym rat and gaining 40lb. Gf knows I'll leave without question if she cheats. Besides needing to hit the gym she's got the qualities of a unicorn. I'll never commit to a marriage though. Fuck that noise hard

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ithrax 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I guess. I have trouble understanding the thought process of BPers. I've honestly had a RP mentality since high school without realizing it.

I think the RP mentality is actually somewhat common in the southern states. Respect, stoicism, and other RP traits are admirable in southern culture. Men are expected to have those traits.

We both believe the nuclear family is valuable even though we aren't religious. That might be the main conflicting viewpoint I have with most RPers. I personally wanted kids and couldn't imagine bringing them up in a non-traditional family.

I'm probably rambling incoherently right now...

Anyways, I'm not worried about infidelity because my wife knows that she'll lose me. She knows I won't put up with that shit and I'd instantly throw her shit out. She'd be forced to go back to the fucking backwoods of Alabama from which we both came.

She has known me for ~10 years now and has zero doubt that I'd put her on the streets.

I will admit that I was forced to import a southern woman... haha. ALL of the women in my current area are hamstering CC riders. Fun, but definitely not LTR material.

[–]1DRMMR76 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I have trouble understanding the thought process of BPers.

Simple. They believe that which they have been told from every single person, organization, and media type every day of their lives. That's why this is called The Red Pill. How would you react if you were told by one guy that the entire world is a computer simulation and that you're really a giant battery in a tube sleeping? Everything you've ever learned every second of your entire life goes against this. That's what BPers are. You're probably just very lucky to have had some RP influences in your life from an early age. Many men did not and do not have any. And when every parent, girlfriend, teacher, TV show, movie, newspaper, textbook, coach, friend, song, and website you've ever seen, heard, or talked to in your entire life is saying "The world is X", is it really that hard to believe so many men don't know the world is really Y?

[–]ithrax 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah, I was primarily raised by my conservative step-grandparents. They were both very conservative and obviously embraced traditional gender roles. My grandfather pretty much set the example for me.

Respect your spouse and expect respect in return. Oh, and don't put up with any shit.

[–]1DRMMR76 0 points1 point  (1 child)

These days maybe 1 in 1000 boys have an upbringing like that, likely fewer. The vast majority are raised from birth to believe that being a nice guy Beta is the right thing to.

[–]ithrax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it kind of makes sense now. I also spent some of my childhood years with my psycho mother. I couldn't imagine who I'd be if she didn't drop me off with my step family and leave the state. Sounds like an awful thing for a mother to do but I'm glad she did it.

[–]the_red_scimitar 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Frame gone? No shit, after 6 months of "therapy", consisting of bashing everything about you. LTRs are such dangerous frame destroyers. Read up on Rollo's postings (The Rational Male) about it - he's in a similar LTR, but has gotten a handle on how to navigate that as an RP man.

[–]NapalmGod69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Reading those, I also read Married RedPill and Ask TRP for tips on how to incorporate TRP into my current situation.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What happened? Please go on.

[–]NapalmGod69 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the interest. I will likely do a stand-alone post in the near future with a fuller story, rather than continuing to sort of derail the discussion of this post.

[–]systemshock869 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny how the fact that she was fucking her old high school boyfriend never came up in the counselling sessions. Instead, they were all about my failings.

This essentially sounds like counseling in a nutshell.

[–]the_red_scimitar 5 points6 points  (15 children)

This is exactly how I treat several capital relationship offenses. There's at least one ex here who creeps my posts, and she knows this very well.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (14 children)

I got my ex to stop stalking me by closing down every log in on every site she knew about. I made this throw away just so I could be here and she can't find me. For the last six months she hasn't known where I am, but she has had her dad call to find out since he is a good friend of mine. I don't tell him, but I only live seven miles down the highway from him, but I wasn't there all winter.

She might have found this alt, but I don't connect it to my other accounts on here in any way. I don't post in any of the same subs with this one either. Doesn't really matter to me if she does find it,it won't tell her anything beyond what a shitty waste of skin her boyfriend and herself are.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (13 children)

See, I don't care if they find me. That's their problem, if we're not together and they're obsessing about what I'm up do. Typically, they want to see if I'm writing about THEM. One time an ex tried to call me out - I was absolutely writing about her, but of course, gave no identifying information. She objected. I told her, essentially and clearly, "Too bad. I write. These are MY experiences. I didn't do anything to identify you. Get over yourself."

Granted, one ex who was still FB "friends", started a carpet bombing campaign, where whatever I'd post, she'd comment with a long tirade about what a terrible person I am, with no regard for the actual conversation present. The moment I realized it, of course I unfriended. And I had to remove her posts and apologize on those threads, to my friends. So much for "remaining friends" (her statement).

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (12 children)

Mine was stalking me, lying about me and talking shit to everyone, and we live in a small community. She and her boyfriend set me up with a felony charge they fabricated because they knew where I would be. I'd like to stay out of jail, and doing 15 days for shit I didn't do, even if it was knocked down from the felony, was too much. I don't want her knowing anything about where I am, what I am doing, or my schedule. If I am falsely accused again, someone will be reaching equilibrium with ambient temp.

[–]the_red_scimitar 1 point2 points  (11 children)

I've had 4 serious stalkers. Had to have one forcibly removed by police twice. She didn't and had never lived with me, but insisted on coming to my place when I explicitly had told her not to.

Another literally camped on my doorstep for the entire day (I was out, so heard about it later), and left the most immature, middle-school-mentality love note. Continuing the immaturity, she had all her BFFs texting me, telling me what a great person she is, that she wanted me back, blah blah blah. Can you imagine an adult doing such a thing?

Another had acquired enough of my FB friends that she could know when I was going to be at an event. I often didn't go, and then would get a text from her, out of the blue (we weren't talking), "where are you? I'm here".

And there's really more.

I've lucked out on the vindictive ex thing, to be honest. Despite these occurrences, none of them did anything revenge-y. Not sure why they would, since I never cheated or did anything outside the parameters of the relationship. They just didn't like me summarily ending things over their bad behavior.

tl;dr: I do kind of like crazy.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (10 children)

I never cheated or did anything fucked up, but when caught cheating and being straight up cunts, they apparently felt the need to try and destroy me, make me look bad, and play the victim card to take the focus off their bad actions and choices. Both wives and multiple girlfriends tried to get revenge when they fucked up.

That's why I break up with them by going full beta, kissing their ass, begging for sex, and if need be paying her bills. When they see me as lower than themselves, they "break up" with me. So much easier. I do it if they get too clingy or attached too.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (9 children)

That's driven by their need to not look like sluts. If you're a terrible person, cheating on you is "okay".

I don't however understand your beta strategy. I wouldn't want to waste that time.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Better than going to jail, getting my vehicles vandalized, or my dogs killed. It's easy, and really only needed when they are obviously crazy. It's fun otherwise.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I think that's an extreme situation, and if it is the norm for you, either you aren't confronting just walking (taking the "L", as Patrice puts it), which, as a very good post points out today, is something you must ALWAYS be ready to do, or you are ignoring serious red flags much earlier on. Honestly, I find your approach based on unreasonable fears, but if they're your fears, then so be it.

[–]redditarcm89 6 points6 points [recovered]

Get their shit out of your apartment

Is it necessary to give it to them? Can you just throw it away, sell it, or burn it? Would there be legal repercussions?

[–]2alisonstone 9 points10 points  (8 children)

Yes, it is illegal to throw their property away. Just because you own the house or the apartment is in your name, it doesn't allow you to keep or destroy other people's property that end up inside your house because you invited them in there. Otherwise, you'll hear tons of stories about how some hot guy or girl would seduce people and then kick them out and keep all their stuff, and repeat over and over again. They'll have multiple apartments and do it to multiple victims at the same time. It would be a great con.

[–]redditarcm89 9 points9 points [recovered]

Well, I hear stories pretty often of a girl catching her guy cheating then destroying all his electronics without repercussion.

[–]1jb_trp 24 points25 points  (0 children)

When a woman does it, it's a sign of female empowerment. Carrie Underwood can write a song and record a video and everyone will cheer her on ("You go girl! He deserved it.").

And with that mentality, why stop at destroying property? Why not destroy the man himself? Tiger Wood's ex could chase him down the driveway with a golf club and it becomes a punch line. If you drug your husband and cut off his penis the women of the View will laugh and cheer about how funny it is (lol!).

[–]2alisonstone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's illegal, but a girl can get away with it while a guy can't. The guy can try to sue her, but he knows the false rape accusations or abuse allegations would come and he is fucked.

[–]zpatriarchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they can get away with it because r/pussypass

[–]indrid_cold 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You are incorrect, at least in my state. If her name is not on the lease and she left it in your house you can put it on the sidewalk, You are under no obligation to watch over other people's property. You can't keep it though. I called the police to confirm this when I caught my ex cheating. She was out of town, with him, when I found out, I didn't let on I knew. I changed the locks and let her come home to a locked house with a goodbye letter on the door. I let her know her stuff would be on the porch next wednesday, that's it. I never spoke to her again.

[–]2alisonstone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely illegal in my state (and likely those with strong tenant laws). Even if someone doesn't appear on a lease, if it is known that they live there for some time (e.g. they didn't sneak into your basement/attic without your knowledge), then they have some basic tenant protections. You can only throw it away after you've made reasonable attempts to return it and/or have given them a reasonable amount of time to pick it up. You don't have to watch over the stuff forever, but you can't intentionally put it out in the rain or out where it will obviously be stolen before they can get it back.

It's probably best to be careful with stuff like this, because even if it is legal in your state to throw it away, she will probably still try to sue you or claim that you stole her stuff and sold it.

[–]to_string_david 1 points1 points [recovered]

In some jurisdictions, it's illegal to evict them if they have pieces of mail with the address and their name on it.

[–]2alisonstone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it really sucks. My parents rented an apartment to this guy and his girlfriend moved in. Then the guy vanished and didn't pay his rent and it took a while to kick the girlfriend out. No point in suing either of them cause they are both obviously broke. Don't get into the rental business in these places unless you are renting at the high end to wealthy people who have six figure jobs where you can have a good shot at getting your money back in court.

[–]1jb_trp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I threw away cheap shit that an ex-gf and I had. I would be hesitant to throw away anything expensive. Just give it to her friends/family for them to give to her and be done with her.

[–]blue_27 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Fuck the legal repercussions, you just look like a whiny little bitch. Oh, you hurt my feelings, so I'm going to break your shit? Like that one song that all the chicks love about smashing up dude's car because she caught him cheating, or flirting or some shit. Nope. Just act as they no longer exist, and call it a day. Temper tantrums are for women and children.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I just meant that if my SO cheated, I wouldn't want to have to look at them again, and she'd tell her family whatever it takes to get them "on her side".

[–]blue_27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right on. Just box it, and put it on the porch.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't have to tell them anything, they are on her side already. My ex father in law is a great friend, he didn't believe she was cheating when I kicked her out. A week later the guy was in his house fucking her in her room. He knows exactly how badly she fucked up, since he is supporting both of them now and she lives in her parents house again, but he can't do much about it since she will be 33 this summer.

[–]vox_veritas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would there be legal repercussions?

Of course there would be. You can't just destroy someone's stuff because you're mad at them. Are you joking?

[–]Mattpilf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk how legal exactly, but I specifically saw one of those television court cases where a person threw out a boyfriends stuff after breaking up and was forced to pay for all the possessions they destroyed. That ended up being $500.

So yeah, if they have a bunch of shit, I'd bag it up, and hand it to them. If they refuse to take it, contact the police.

[–]Niordd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well said. Show her that you will not waste on her 5 minutes more of your life.

I totally imagined here Leonidas from 300 saying "GIVE THEM NOTHING" in his voice

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]1jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not responsible for her. You can tell her to get help, tell her to get well, but beyond that... Cut all ties. Anything further borderlines on codependency. That's not a can of worms you want to open.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will break their hamster wheel.

I'd like to add on, don't do it for this. Don't do it to irk their nerves. Don't do it for revenge or any of that. Those are just a plus.

Do it to avoid any further aggravation and stress for YOURSELF. Don't give them a second thought.

[–]foldpak111 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'll admit that I've slipped up and broke no contact in moments of despair. Listening to Tai Lopez and Owen Cook always prevents me from straying from the narrow path. Tai makes you want to learn as much as you can about investing and finances, and Tyler amps you up to just get out there, fuck it

[–]Wakingupfinally 36 points37 points  (2 children)

I for one am getting the divorce I should have gotten 2 years ago. Never could get over it, never could find a shred of trust for her. Wasted 2 years of my life trying. Thankfully I found TRP to really help me through thr divorce and see all the good on the other side. Divorce is not final yet but working on my first two plates.

[–]SithLordDarthRevan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good for you for taking a stand against that shit.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (8 children)

Yeah they're never sorry they did it, they're only sorry they got caught.

[–]the_red_scimitar 25 points26 points  (5 children)

This is not only true, but when they get caught, they will blame YOU for the resulting disaster, because you shouldn't have tried to find out.

This is one of the most common things you'll see in, for example, XX, as part of the distressed, "validate me!" postings there about being caught cheating.

[–]advancedminimal 4 points4 points [recovered]

Yep. When I found evidence of my ex-wife cheating, she said I breached her trust because I looked at her phone one morning after her being shady as fuck for a week and found her sexts to a fucking pizza guy she was secretly seeing.

All her friends took her side, of course. It was my fault for not trusting her, finding out a month after the fact she had been doing this. I couldn't comprehend the hamstering going on. I was labeled a "hacker" and she told her sob story to everyone (female) at her job. I had "hacked" her unlocked, password-free phone that was buzzing like crazy while I was trying to sleep in on a day off.

[–]the_red_scimitar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the bright side, pizza delivery porn!

And meh, almost nobody who uses the term "hacking" in any form, has so much as a clue what it means.

Thanks for the story, though. Sad, but all too typical.

Edit: You know, the whole female imperative is basically the gaslighting of men.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Women have somehow established a social structure in which finding out your partner is lying (which is usually a few very easy taps on a phone) is now more frowned upon than cheating itself.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, within their little echo chamber of entitled sluts, and "friends" who are secretly happy about their "friend's" loss of face, yes, they have a social structure. The larger society obviously still gloats and shames on such things, however. Any politician's little scandals shows that secret schadenfreude.

[–]iamcathyy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Bullseye right there. When I found out my ex-gf was cheating on me, she immediately blamed me and said everything would have remained fine if I didn't try to find out the truth.

I was fucking weak then though and still forgave her because I couldn't bare to spend a day without her. Caught her again a month later and I cut off all contact with her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry you had to go through that dude. You're better off now, trust me.

[–]foldpak111 25 points26 points  (0 children)

and Not a single drop of testosterone was produced that day

[–]notmyusualreddit 20 points21 points  (3 children)

I caught a gf cheating once by going through her phone. She had admitted it to a friend of hers in text message. Shit hit the fan and I tried to get away from her. A month later, shes at my house. I ask her to see her phone and look through it. Yes it was a weak beta move. I was hurt. I was learning.

Only notable thing I read was her discussing it with her mother.. how all this happened at how it blew up our relationship. And her mother says "WELL NOW YOU KNOW NOT TO PUT THINGS LIKE THAT IN WRITING". This was the lesson from the mother.

[–]1DRMMR76 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Yep. The only lesson females will ever know: don't get caught.

[–]notmyusualreddit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

When I read that, thats when I really knew I had to leave this chick. At first I had thought "I made this happen. I had ignored her, broken up with her on whims, and lost my edge." which was all true. I thought I could fix myself and she wouldn't do it ever again. I knew I had let myself go and I've used it since to be better and never fall that far again.

But I knew it was over when I realized this chick was raised her entire life by a woman that would write that as her take away advice on the situation. Theres no going back when you have biology AND society teaching that these things are ok.

[–]eagle_shadow 22 points23 points  (1 child)

My ex cheated on me. I attempted to forgive her and give her another chance, but I didn't trust her. Her behavior didn't change. I started keeping docs and notes about her lies, alienation (we have 2 daughters), partying, etc. When I had enough documentation, I gave her an ultimatum: come home and be a wife or file for divorce. She filed and made the usual claims--abusive, alcoholic, not caring, blah blah blah. Because I had kept notes and confirmation from 3rd parties (including how she was currently violating the court's orders), I was able to show the truth. I kicked her ass in family court. She got nothing.

Then I found the red pill.....AWALT

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This should have more up votes.

[–]imherefornews 108 points108 points [recovered]

Cheating happens when your selfishness exceeds your empathy for your partner.

Almost hit the nail on the head. A Woman's selfishness will always exceed her empathy for her partner. If you want to achieve loyalty from her, you have to give her selfish reasons not to do it.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (13 children)

Tribal politics, national politics, global politics, small business dealings, major business partnerships, global business partnerships, military alliances, etc, etc, etc...

Literally EVERY fucking thing that has ever been made to build civilization has recognized that you must give an ally a selfish reason to remain loyal to you.

This is basically the first thing that civilizing humans had to figure out.

Why is is so hard for BPers to accept that the same rules apply to sexual/romantic relationships? It baffles me how so few people can connect that last dot.

[–]Axoc 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Tribal politics, national politics, global politics, small business dealings, major business partnerships, global business partnerships, military alliances, etc, etc, etc...

Literally EVERY fucking thing that has ever been made to build civilization has recognized that you must give an ally a selfish reason to remain loyal to you.

Also known as: The Prince in two paragraphs.

[–]fatw 22 points22 points [recovered]

Because we romanticize... well... romance.

There people out there who legitimately believe in soul mates.

I won't say there isn't any leeway, though.

I love my girlfriend. If she became horrible burned and disfigured, I would genuinely consider staying. Hell, I probably would. But that doesn't mean temptation for others doesn't increase due to my decreased attraction for her.

Love is like an ongoing business deal. We both stay if we think continuing with the relationship is our best option. There are a lot of factors at play, yes, and a fair amount of leeway, but if I want my partner to stay, I have to make her WANT to stay.

[–]SwallowRP 2 points2 points [recovered]

Would she do the same for you if you got burned and lost all your wealth/power/value?

[–]fatw 1 points1 points [recovered]

Burned? Probably. Everything else? Probably not.

Women want different things than men. Men don't give a shit about a woman's "power", but we care about looks more than women, for example. We can care about past sexual history, they don't. They care about your social influence, we don't.

Therefore it's naive to expect the same outcome in the same situation for different genders, as they value different things.

What you said is like asking if I would stay if she lost her looks AND became a total bitch. No, I wouldn't stay.

I can have severe burn scars and still be a leader, still be a confident alpha who strives and succeeds. I can lose my looks and still be a man. The her, that's part of my personality. You can be poor and still be a "successful" dark triad with a shit ton of social influence. Successful in this case just means "top dog", or alpha. That's what she likes about my personality, about me.

She would stay with me for "me", in this case, the alpha fuck she fell in love with. Just like I would stay with her for her personality, because she's that sweet innocent girl I fell in love with.

As a man, your success as a person is part of your personality.

This is why you have women who are GENUINELY attracted to ugly yet powerful/rich guys, because they have confidence and influence up the wazoo.

The very fact that you ask this brings into question just how much you've learned from TRP, "SwallowRP".

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't forget anything taught in any (capitalist based) economics class. People operate off incentive, that's just how it is. The incentive to be faithful(ie. risk of negative consequences) has to be higher than any a "pool boy" will give. Every cheater wonders whether they can avoid getting caught, and concludes that they can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

It's the same thing with recognizing that some cultures in the world are more socially advanced than others. But in my anthropology elective class, I learned that's called "ethnocentrism" and it's offensive. (rolls eyes)

[–]WS6Grumbles 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That is because while I love college and higher learning in general (current student, learn for the sake of learning), that environment is BP as fuck.

Just take your women's lib and theology courses and enjoy yourself making little atheists and misogynists.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Honestly, the interesting parts of academia (and the only really useful ones imo) are STEM fields(there are few exceptions like history) and they are not bp at all, but God forbid you go to those sociology/comm/anything ending with "studies" . I'm glad I got my GE out of the way, it's pure science and it's great

[–]WS6Grumbles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is I enjoy a lot of the social studies because a) I'm a huge history dork and b) even if I think it's nonsense or silly, any course to do with society will help me understand how a segment of the population thinks, and at the very least I'll get to rustle some feathers being real as fuck. Gender and Society was a surprisingly entertaining course, and dual credit!

[–]LeFlamel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's called that because the ruler you use to measure "advancement" is biased by the normative conceptions of the given society.

[–]Jordoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is is so hard for BPers to accept that the same rules apply to sexual/romantic relationships? It baffles me how so few people can connect that last dot.

To be fair, for a lot of BPers, it isn't the last dot anymore. I studied International Relations in uni (yeah, not the smartest thing to do, and I'm paying for it now...), so many people, even some profs, have such naive, "We are the world, we are the children"-sort of viewpoints on even that scale. As for business dealings, on any scale? Unless you're a mom-and-pop (but even then if you don't like gays), you're a step up from being basically Satan.

I see your point, and I understand what you're saying, but it's a bigger jump than you'd think for some people, nowadays.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is probably the most profound thing I have read in TRP for 6 months. ♂

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

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[–]tallwheel 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Be a man of value and be ready to walk anytime and she will selfishly cling to you in order to benefit herself.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]tallwheel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All women want to lock down a quality mate for themselves to secure the best chance of success for themselves and their offspring. Perhaps "selfish" is a bit too strong a word, but the point is that, in the end, they are with you in order to benefit themselves, not you. (Briffault's Law)

For instance, let's say you are successful and have money. Woman will want to be with you in order to gain financial resources from you.

If you are exceedingly attractive in an alpha way, woman will want to secure your superior genes for her offspring.

If you are well-connected and have a quality social circle, woman will want to be with you to get into your social circle.

I'm pretty sure that's what imherefornews had in mind.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thank god there are some women out there who know shame.

They don't cheat, not because they give a damn about their spouse, but because they would be ashamed due to their upbringing.

Eh. Whatever works........

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's one of the reasons why the importance of a strong father figure is highlighted on here. Something feminists are quite happily stripping away from children without a care to the consequences.

[–]Buckysaurus 41 points41 points [recovered]

After the second time, it was bye-bye. I'm not your toy.

This quote right here. Never be this guy.

[–]Rathadin 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I think you're looking at it the wrong way... he got out. It "clicked" and he finally realized what a fucked up situation he was in.

Hell, most of them never 'get out'.

[–]darkrood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jeez....2nd might be 2 month, or it might be 2 years......Why go to a diner that once you caught the owner spitting in your food.

"I'll give him more chance to prove himself"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always had a hard time feeling bad for guys who complain about their girlfriend cheating on them for the second time.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego 102 points103 points  (14 children)

These worthless mangina faggots should be ashamed of themselves. They aren't even men. They know they are cuckolds and they don't even bother to do anything about it. Women all know which of their friends husbands are open cucks as well. They talk about it. And since women are basically cows mooing in a herd you need to make sure to not be friends with these willing cuckolds. Also don't let a plate advance to girlfriend if she has friends who are cucking their men.

[–]_the_shape_ 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Also don't let a plate advance to girlfriend if she has friends who are cucking their men.

Solid point.

"Tell me who you hang around with and I'll tell you who you are"

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. You're an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is important, shell get influenced by hags

[–]grimreaperx2 21 points22 points  (6 children)

Speaking of Manginas, this video was posted earlier. Have a glimpse of our beta feminist driven future.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I wanna see that get done to a girl and watch all the feminists collectively loose their shit.

[–]grimreaperx2 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Slow down you patriarchy supporting women oppressing stealing my wages and taking all the privileges shitlord. That is physical and mental abuse, rape, molestation, harassment, and the gross misconception that women would do any wrong.

Check yourself back into beta-hood or else!

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That just pissed me off to no end. Hearing those dumb bitches laughing in the background, knowing damn well 3/4 of them go to Chad's house 3 night's a week! Fucking sickening.

[–]Blood_Red_Phoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At first I felt nothing but rage when I saw this video, but now I think I love it. There's no better metaphor I've ever seen for intersexual dynamics on a wide scale.

We blatantly see women being feral and cruel to the beta, who is submitting to them hoping for some kind of redemption (no doubt fueled by his idealistic perceptions of woman-as-nurturer). We all know as well that these same decently attractive women are freely perusing alpha males who inspire respect and desire in them. The best part is that they wouldn't dare cross or disrespect these alpha males, presenting them with the perfect image of cultured femininity. Meanwhile, they cackle in enjoyment over the pain of a clueless beta male, a worthless commodity to them

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the part at the end where she talks about having to put up with men's shit, no accountability, no redress, etc. The hamster is spinning into the oblivion of projection, the bearings are smoking and wearing to dust, but the hamster runs ever faster.

[–]LordXerces 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comments on /r/videos for this one are all strongly RP. It's how it always is. People will preach TRP philosophy until "Red Pill" is mentioned. Then people scatter like mice.

[–]the_red_scimitar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Frankly, I'd rather be talked about as the guy who fucked several of those housewives into unconsciousness. Then, let 'em talk.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As they say, birds of a feather flock together.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The saddest thing is that they don't even acknowledge the act, but are so caught up in their misplaced feelings, there are so many posts in that thread about how 'they love her'. So because they have those 'feelings' they're going to be a sucker.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

"She cried a lot and said she wished she never told me." <--- Read that a few times. The wife wasn't upset because she felt bad or guilty, she was upset because she got caught. This is a common phenomenon among cheaters and I'd argue, women in general. They are deathly afraid of the gravy train coming to a halt (ie getting divorced or having their pedestalizing boyfriend leave them). So they'll try to bury their animal instincts under mounds of obfuscation and shrewdness. If they're caught, the only tragedy - in their eyes - is that they got caught.

I disagree that that's what's going on. The truth is worse.

She's pissed that she's suffering consequences! She's under the impression that you get praised for doing what you should, so you should be deified when you go above and beyond. In her mind, she didn't have to tell. She could have hidden it indefinitely. Instead she chose to be open and honest and forthcoming. In her mind, she's being super fiance in showing her honesty and loyalty and commitment to the relationship.

Her draining another guy's balls? That's not relevant, because, well, she's a woman and woman are only judged by the good they do. It is blowing her mind that her cheating is part of the equations. It is blowing it even further that it's outweighing the good. It's beyond blown that it's controlling the situation. SHE'S BEING HELD RESPONSIBLE???

She regrets telling him. She didn't tell him because she wanted to be loyal, or honest or good. She told him because she wanted the adulation she believed telling him would garner. When that didn't happen, she becomes regretful. NOT that she fucked another guy, she still feels the exact same way about that so there's nothing to regret. No, she regrets being honest and loyal because she didn't get anything in return.

[–]the_red_scimitar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mmmm, meh. I don't think that's the whole truth, or even, as you seem to have been attempting, the underlying truth. I think it comes down to the gender-wide trait of solipsism. The shock and surprise that anybody would ever view something differently than they, themselves, do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have to agree with you on this one. "Responsibility? Ridiculous! Preposterous!" It simply does not compute in her mind.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

If you had asked me a few years ago about how I would react to my wife's infidelity, I would've given you the standard "throw her ass out, burn her shit, tell everyone, fuck 283 young college chicks immediately" answer. Every guys says that. Instead, I became a groveling ass. I asked for reasons why. I asked her friends. I asked her family. I cried myself to sleep for days. And then... a light switch was flipped, and I was all better. Looked at myself in disgust. "WTF was I thinking?!"

It's just a natural response to abandonment and betrayal. Some guys are worse than others. As long as they eventually snap out of it and don't make mistakes that hurt them in the long run, let them have their blue pill moment. If it carries on for months and keeps them with their whore wife... yeah, that's not good.

[–]notmyusualreddit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was the exact same way. I had read the early manosphere PUA stuff since I was 18 around 2002. I always laughed at the idea of being pissed off at cheating. "On to the next!!!" I thought Id say with a smile on my face thinking of the next guilt free party Id be going to.

But then something hits you. You realize you were actually trying and this still happened to you. When I was younger, I wasn't doing anything, I just hung out with a gf sometimes and did a few fun things and had sex. Now I was successful at work, I owned a home, I took her on streetbike rides, we went on a few fun trips, AND SHE STILL CHEATED!? Wtf is wrong with me. Wtf is wrong with us. Do I want to start all over after 3 years? What am I missing? Can I stop her or anyone else from doing this again? It seems like EVERY girl can do this, so why try with a different one anyway, why not just try with this one again.

The shit that goes through your head upon cheating is stuff you'd never think youd even dream. I never even told a single person she cheated because I couldn't face being the guy that got cheated on. I'm god damn 6'4", deliver in bed, make money, and Im not THAT god damn beta, and that shit still happens. I dont know how the married guys do it. When women are so fickle, who can honestly keep it all up 24/7 for years, decades, and a lifetime? And eventually Im keeping all this up for a 43 year old woman? And then a 53 year old woman???? God damn.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is if you don't get out you're stuck with the situation and every single day you are just becoming more and more the pathetic guy who won't leave. After years of being together these men think that this is just how life works.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (7 children)

I can't honestly believe that people think like this. The common trend in this thread is that these chicks "made mistakes" like slipping into a bar and accidentally fucking an "acquaintance" is a mistake or how they found out months later; not because the girl told them but because they got caught. This is some beta bull shit.

I can't take someone seriously who thinks cheating can be forgiven. Especially the dude that fucking married the fucking chick who cheated on him. He found out the day before his wedding and he still went ahead with it. No excuses. These people aren't sad that they actually cheated. They are sad they got themselves into a situation in which they have to confront the person they cheated on.

The biggest thing for me in my life is the loyalty one has for another. If a girl can't respect you enough to be loyal and truthful then she is no fucking good. One injustice is all that is needed. Fuck

Now folks, get ready for this one; this is the most beta shit I've read in a good while from this thread:

Turns out non monogamy is a much better fit for me and I probably wouldn't have discovered this without being thrown in at the deep end.

Dude was cheated on, found out his wife was going to leave him, and he was hurt. Instead of leaving he was put into a non monogamous relationship in which they (IE. his wife) can fuck as many dudes (probably the dude she was going to leave with) with impunity. He became a willing cuckold. No respect.

To top it off:

For the last 6 months we've been long distance

Hahahahhahahahahaha. This is all I can say. I wonder why she wanted an open relationship...

[–]the_red_scimitar 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Sorry, bruh, believe it. Take that doubt you have and shred it to fuck, because it is based on the feminist and betaman lies you were indoctrinated into.

Also, there's the massive, and utterly worthless, "relationship counseling" industry, so... yeah.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I was being slightly sarcastic man. I know how fucked these dudes are haha.

I'm not under any illusions.

[–]the_red_scimitar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We need a "slightly sarcastic" indicator. Maybe /S is "really sarcastic", and /s is not so much?

[–]asdfghjkltyu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest thing for me in my life is the loyalty one has for another. If a girl can't respect you enough to be loyal and truthful then she is no fucking good. One injustice is all that is needed. Fuck

Whenever they do it, they do it again. I've had plenty of friends go through this situation and get back together, yet it always happens again.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh god. I hope you flipped it to make it sound worse than it really is. I don't even want to read the source.

Thats some pathetic shit. I mean, if she's long distance fucking someone else, whats the point of the relationship??? If she's fucking someone else or long distance, separately, whats the point of the relationship???

Dude is a little bitch. He probably sends the bull thank you cards for taking care of his wife for him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. The dude apparently lurks TRP or something and sent me a PM explaining himself further. He made it sound like it was in his favor as well, but I don't know how much of that is rationalization.

But it seems really bad from the original post. I mean she was fixing to leave him for the other guy and then they go to counseling or something and he comes to terms with non monogamy? Just seems a little skewed IMO.

[–]topredhat 34 points35 points  (15 children)

Why don't they secretly cheat on the them? We can't forget about equality.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

What do you think the, SMV of an open cuck is?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

Because they are better people.

[–]topredhat 27 points28 points  (10 children)

It doesn't matter if they are better people. They don't have enough self respect to leave.

[–]1whatsazipper 36 points37 points  (7 children)

If you don't have enough self respect to leave, then you're certainly not a better person; you're a spineless person.

[–]Gadnuk_ 8 points9 points  (3 children)

More honorable m'lady ≠ better person

I agree, it's all in the sidebar

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think /u/CleverNeologism meant "more moral people".

[–]1Dis_mah_mobile_one 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And I think he was just being sarcastic

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nope. 100% truthful.

Vindictive people who would cheat back are people who don't have the self-esteem to build themselves back up from an insult or slight without knocking down someone else.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He asked the question "why don't they cheat back".

Answer: Because they are better people than that.

"Why doesn't he just leave"

Because while he's a better person than a petty, vindictive child, he's not that awesome.

[–]AmazingAndy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think people who stay with cheaters often feel like they don't have options. Call it oneitis or whatever but attempting to cling to a relationship that gave you happiness in the past is a very human reaction. Not a healthy or logical one but i can at least put myself in their mindset.

[–]the_red_scimitar 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Yeah, the "wish I'd never told you" is usually followed up with "but it's your fault I did it."

Everything else has more agency in their own lives than themselves, for such women.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It is the guys fault that she did it, because his frame is made out of fucking jello.

[–]AirNova 12 points13 points  (12 children)

I dated a girl for 3 years she cheated on me by making out with a lesbian 2 years in, this was a very grey area for me as it wasn't extreme but it was still cheating, I broke up with her a year later when I decided I needed more self respect. 1 year later I discovered the red pill and I'm still in the anger and bitter phase. I still blame myself for the cheating for some reason and I still want things to have gone differently. I started lifting and I'm 2 months in but I can't do anything to shake this over all bitterness towards women, how do I get past this phase?

[–]mcjustmatt 9 points10 points  (1 child)

keep lifting, and the women that come to you will relieve this bitter resentment. Your perception of women is still scared. Just give it a little more time until your efforts start being rewarded. Sooooon brother.

[–]AirNova 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks really insightful stuff, lifting helped me in other areas too. It's amazing how much it does for, now I'm eating better and becoming a better cook, since I want to eat better, and I just have more energy to do more

[–]rpscrote 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I started lifting and I'm 2 months in but I can't do anything to shake this over all bitterness towards women, how do I get past this phase?

Don't worry about it. Seriously. You'll get past it by focusing on other things, improving your own life, advancing your own goals. It's a process so gradual you won't know its happening until its done. Worrying about getting past it will make sure that you dont

[–]AirNova 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I've been working on other projects but getting discouraged, cause I'm use to expecting immediate result (beta)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]AirNova 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Not when the girl does it 1. Without you 2. The girl looks and talks like a dude

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anyone else chill with this? is this bp?! lol

if the girl was girly i probably would be chill with her having lesbian sex on days i dont see her as long as im sometimes getting the threesome lol

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Absolutely in that camp. Took a date to a strip club last night. I think she and several of the dancers were rather attracted to one another (and the dancers definitely did stuff to at least make it seem that way).

[–]LukesLikeIt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Almost as if it were their job? lol come on.

[–]1DRMMR76 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh, dancers will very frequently do much more with female patrons, and out in the open and for free, than they will with males.

[–]thrice_as_nice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'll find a better girl.

Main point, though, is you'll find her because she'll be attracted to the respect you have for yourself.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No there isn't. Zero women in the history of fucking has accidentally fallen on a dick, vagina first.

And notice, one person tries to argue on the other side and they get downvoted to oblivion in that blue pill thread.

This comment in particular has -14 karma. What a shame.

[–][deleted] 10 points10 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ho_made_apple_butter 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Their female masters agree with you.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Well if he's going to stay married to her, I hope he's at least fucking other women or just totally cold toward her. I don't understand how someone can just continue "loving" their partner after they cheated on you. I don't understand how anyone can forgive that.

To me it's like wearing a tee shirt that says "I'm naive, please take advantage of me, I won't learn from my mistakes and keep letting it repeat. Go ahead and walk all over me."

Then these people try to play the high card and say "I'm above that, I'm selfless". Well if you were truly selfless, you'd sacrifice your white knight attitude and be an asshole to the one you "love" so they get set straight for a better livelihood. Fuck.

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you stay with them you better damn well be fucking other women behind their back. They deserve nothing.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How many 'depressive' episodes did she have? More than one, I reckon...

[–]thehonestdouchebag 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love the guy who said that if you want to be a white knight, adopt a battered dog.

[–]1jimjackjoe 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Below is a response I found interesting. The poster preaches a message of forgiveness, and then relates a story about how he totally screwed over some dude in what seems to have been an illicit business deal. The dude forgives him, which spares the poster from going to prison (obviously this guy had the power to testify against him). The poster is so floored by this act of mercy, he completely changes his way of life around, and lives a non-criminal life now.

Anyway, what he overlooks is that in his situation two males were interacting, and so concepts such as loyalty and accountability came into play. The guy who was wronged showed loyalty by not busting the poster, and the poster showed accountability by actually changing his life in response to this act. If you forgive a woman, though, she's likely to just think, "Fuck yes, time to get even more shit for myself out of this situation."

The main reason I am pointing all this out is because it shows how man's natural moral code (I'm not including dark triad types, I just mean normal guys) can blind us from understanding and accepting the nature of women. Women simply live by a different set of codes. We can't apply our codes to how they would think. Therefore, forgiving a woman for cheating is actually completely different from the situation the poster describes.

I don't have experience with this specifically, so I should probably just shut up, but I DO have experience with horrific, life-altering actions...I won't call them mistakes because I knew full well the action and possible consequences.

I guess I can only speak for me, but I believe everyone has a "changing" point in their lives. Maybe it's the point at which we grow up. It took me about 30 years to reach that point. I never took life seriously, I never stopped to really think about what I could lose. I was married. I had kids. I would lose everything, but I lived for that day alone and tomorrow was something I was too foolish to think about.

Then I got caught. I always thought I was too good at it to get caught. Nope. In that moment, you bet your ass I was only sorry I got caught, not that I did it. I was prepared to spend years upon years in prison. I had resigned to that destiny, but out of nowhere... the person that caught me FORGAVE me. This was not small. I wronged him more than anyone else will ever wrong him again. I was stunned. I walked away from him and my life was changed, not from the getting caught, but from unbelievable mercy. I live right now. I would never do anything illegal or wrong again. My life before that day was a blur, and only since that day do I feel like I live. I can't imagine how hard it was to shake my hand as I walked away from that. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to pay it forward.

Now I am not saying to just blindly forgive a cheating spouse. What I am saying, especially if it is early in a marriage, sometimes people haven't hit that line where your life changes and you become an adult with love and compassion and the will to do the right thing. Sometimes life is just a blur inside. Because of my experience, I don't necessarily believe the idea "once a _, always a _", be it cheater, liar, thief, bad person, etc. People can change in an instant, even if the circumstances of their chance was them getting caught.

I guess all I am saying is that there are a lot of speed bumps on the road to maturity. Consider if the wrong was a just a bump, or a wall.

[–]1DRMMR76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interacting with women how we would interact with other men, and expecting women to do the same, is a cornerstone of many Beta men. It was for me anyways. That is why the "just be yourself" line is so insidious. It only works on honorable men because only honorable yet naive men hear this advice, assume the woman is actually trying to help, and act out on it.

[–]Mihawk01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women live in the moment. They will promise something if it suits them, then forget it when it doesn't. Simple.

[–]TheRealMewt 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Oh come on, OP.

This sub is chock full of men who had lives and relationships akin to those posted in that thread - marriages ruined and hopes of loving relationships dashed by their partner's selfishness, only for the hapless suckers to turn around and embrace their "lover" once again. I know I used to be a guy like that. I know better now.

Shit like this may be a cautionary tale for us to not go down that road, but do we need to put our fellow man on the cross for not getting it? A man who stays with a cheating SO deserves whatever pain may be associated with being in that unhealthy relationship - to me, that sounds like enough torment.

[–]Jordoom 5 points6 points  (2 children)

This is a good post. I feel people get too into portraying an "alpha" persona on here that the quality of the posts sometimes dips.

[–]1DRMMR76 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That is very frequent, and I've noticed too. I have my own theory that it's because they are not at all Alpha in real life, and coming on here, trying to AMOG some anonymous dudes online and pretend for just a few minutes that they really are who they say there are is their way to cope.

[–]LukesLikeIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have to treat that behavior as adverse otherwise we are doomed to repeat it. They deserve our empathy, their action deserves our disgust.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post is one of the least coherent things I've ever read on this sub.

You say "oh come on" as though you have a problem with OPs post, but then you go to effectively argue that it's an important post i.e. it's relevant to many former BP men on this sub, and is a cautionary tale. BP examples are great to show how far we're come, and as a constant reminder of what we do differently from BP men to reduce any chance of slipping back down that path.

Your only justification for why you have a problem with OPs post is: we're putting BP men "on the cross", and exposing them to further "torment". That's beyond ridiculous.. is every critique of anyone putting someone "on the cross"?. And how on Earth do you think this post is tormenting them?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't hate too much, many of us were there once. The difference is in learning from yours and the mistakes of others.

[–]LUClEN 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Why would you not end it? That's unfathomable to me

[–]elrayem 10 points11 points  (1 child)

ego, financial cost and kids are the most frequent reasons....falling for the fallacy of sunk costs is common, stubbornness and ego over failing at marriage, and access to your children. of all of them, access to kids (and protecting them) is the biggest legit issue in my experience.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah the joys of Marriage 2.0. Can't divorce a cheating bitch because she still gets to divorce-rape you

[–]newls 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're still living in a Disney love-fest fantasy land where the good guys always end up with their true love and women will love them unconditionally until the end of time.

That's where a lot of hostility to TRP comes from. They don't want to break their fantasy. They don't want to believe that treating their girlfriends worse will actually make her happier and love them more.

[–]the99percent1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The male hamster is equally as strong..

I can bet all these guys are average looking, fat, & poor/average life with no options other than their wives. Their hamster wheels keeps them where they are in life. They have inhibited their capacity for growth and excellence.

Anyone looking to improve themselves needs to be able to do self-introspection and take fair criticisms on the chin to improve. And that means recognizing when you are a loser with no options.

[–]_bluerabbit_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This men are even more pathetic than me and i am a neckbeard

[–]sertasheep23 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I stayed after getting cheated on. It was seriously the biggest mistake of my entire life. I'm divorced three years now and I'm still mentally and emotionally recovering from bluepillism. Haven't gotten into a relationship in fear of turning back into that pathetic self again. Doing better and better everyday though. The shitty part is I haven't had sex since.

[–]LancerKagato 0 points1 point  (1 child)

going full MGTOW is good especially for the start if you have the tendency to fall back into beta. It's like self checking.

[–]sertasheep23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL MGTOW. Thank you. I have the tendency to do this in most aspects of life but women need to be the same.

[–]bassmouthgibbs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is the Askmen, what did you expect?

A sub that has female mods who abuse their power, mods that shut down almost every thread that is posted, and one in which females are allowed to spew their nonsense while men are pussywhipped. It is one of my biggest fears that a day comes when this sub allows a woman to be a moderator, that is what has happened with Askmen. You cannot let a female be a moderator for a sub that is meant for men spaces, women will run it to the ground.

This is a classical example of women abusing their power when they are given power. Women have no right to have any authority in men dominated spaces. I can't really say much nice things about the male mods on that sub either, they delete every thread on there when given the chance. Most of them are just as awful as the female ones, if not worse.

The sub is full of some the most crooked power-abusing mods on reddit.

[–]redasphuck 3 points3 points [recovered]

How am I doing..hmm..she cheated on me with dude I tell her to go fuck her self she begs pleads and promises everything and and anything to take her back. I take her back she moves in, an year on the dot she leaves me for some other dude at work...yeah got my heart ripped twice in less than a year by the same whore..thats how its going.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she did it once, she will do it again. Lesson learned bro, just move on, learn from it, and use the motivation to better yourself.

[–]carlosvives 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Back in my high school days, I was quite the little player actually. However this one girl tied me down and looking back at it, it was completely obvious how dumb I was for even starting a LTR, but I digress.. Anyway after about 6 months she cheated on me on New Year's Eve with one of my neighborhood buddies. Beta ass me was so whipped back then I actually took her back and tried to work things out for a month or two before realizing how big of a waste of time she was. I then suffered severe beta syndrome and lost almost all my game without any idea what was wrong with me. To be completely honest, I was in that rut for about a year or so (senior year of all times to get in a rut, what a waste). Then I took LSD with one of my best friends and had a great night just having fun and dicking around. And for some reason, the next day I began to regain all of my self confidence and got a real sense of worth back. I've since found the red pill and have started becoming the man I want to be. Call it bullshit or whatever you want, but for some reason it just clicked for me after tripping that I'm worth something and I started acting like it and believing it.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 1 point2 points  (2 children)

LSD changed my life, hands down. Call it what you wanna call it

[–]carlosvives 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. For some people who abuse it, it's for the worse and it can really mess up the chemical balance in your brain. But for others, it can be almost a remedy of sorts that allows you to see life through a very, very different perspective. Reflecting on my trips have helped me make decisions that vastly improved my quality of life. LSD helped me turn my life around and I will be forever grateful to it for the role it played in me becoming the person I am today.

[–]SomeEndUser 3 points3 points [recovered]

She cheated on my 7 years ago. Took her back and we eventually married and had kids.

Last year she filed for divorce and kicked me out of the place we were living. A week after she filed for the divorce she was moving in with the neighbor guy.

My advice is if she cheated on you, there's something in her, her sub conscience, her dna, idk. But it seeks self pleasure without the care for consequence. They might be sorry and truly am but seems like they fall back to that urge.

I'm not a religious person but perhaps if a couple brought in faith that things could change. I'm not here to discuss that, just the idea of something like that may truly help a couple a or person through self struggle.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Religious faith simply tries to assign guilt to natural urges and biology.

A Christian cheater is still a cheater.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, there is something in her DNA. It's a second X chromosome. AWALT.

[–]1Snivellious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus, where did this come from? At my absolute most BP this never entered my head. Not only was my internal policy "if you ever cheat, we're done", it was very clear to anyone I was with. I can't imagine losing track of even that.

The "got caught" quote has a horrifying thing there you didn't mention: "she needs to decide what to do". He outlined his feelings and told the woman who had just cheated on him to make the decision for him. That's a level of surrender I've never seen.

[–]Dayman_ah-ah-ah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

a one-time orgasm fest with the pool boy

Fucking lol. I've never seen a sub with such extensive language skills

[–]ChristopherBurr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I have not been cheated on - but I'll offer a little of my insight. I might choose to stay because I wouldn't want to be separated from my children. That being said - all bets would be off for fidelity.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guarantee, in at least 85% of those stories, she told him, "I don't like anal/BJ/doggy/CIF/CIM/whatever-the-fuck-he-wants" and she did that thing with Chad T. Cock.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn... a few years ago before I discovered TRP I had a relationship with a girl who moved 3000 miles from the east coast. After about a year of going out, I had to move so I was going to break it off. It came out that she'd never broken up with her old boyfriend back home. In fact, they had been ENGAGED for 6 months. That was an interesting confrontation. The interesting thing is that he stayed with her. Even then, I just felt fundamentally weird about it FOR him. They're scheduled to get married here soon. I still feel kind of bad for that guy – to be that tied up in a woman and lose all your self respect like that. How can a woman ever respect you again if you have such a low opinion of yourself to remain with her after she cheated on you? That's all I'm thinking as I read these...

[–]toughloveadvicegiver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gah. Incomprehensible. I always advocate leaving when cheating is involved.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (17 children)

I've got an interesting story concerning cheating. Doesn't fit the general narrative.

My wife cheated on me when I was still in the military. Long story short, she's still my wife. However, I am now also her dominant and she is what would be considered a "cuckqueen". She is faithful to me while I get to play the field. Ironic, isn't it? There's no point leaving the situation if you can control the situation to work to your advantage. That is being resourceful.

I would also like to point out that she didn't rationalize her cheating and accepted full responsibility. That was a big factor when deciding whether or not to leave.

Edit: What the fuck is with the down votes? This is a success story.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 1 point2 points  (9 children)

I would also like to point out that she didn't rationalize her cheating and accepted full responsibility. That was a big factor when deciding whether or not to leave.

That's big, but how do you know she doesn't take it from Chad on a regular basis?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Partly because our schedule would make that damn near impossible. Another factor would be that she is terrified at the notion of me leaving. A third would be the fact that any would-be-Chads would have to realize that I'm well-armed, combat-trained, and don't give a fuck if the law tells me I shouldn't kill people.

I guess the point is that I'm the biggest fish in the pond around here, anyway. There's no reason to look elsewhere for a higher-value male. I should probably mention that the cheating took place early in the marriage (she was still 18 when we were married) and I was away from her for over a year. I almost can't blame her. It's my fault for being ignorant of a woman's nature at the time. Also, I didn't catch her. She came clean on her own.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I guess the point is that I'm the biggest fish in the pond around here, anyway. There's no reason to look elsewhere for a higher-value male. I should probably mention that the cheating took place early in the marriage (she was still 18 when we were married) and I was away from her for over a year. I almost can't blame her. It's my fault for being ignorant of a woman's nature at the time. Also, I didn't catch her. She came clean on her own.

I see. All very relevant. Seems like your woman may be the .00001% that would really never do it again and it was a momentary lapse in judgement. She is probably still trying to make it up to you every day, and if you know what's good you will keep that fact in teh back of her mind constantly.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

She is probably still trying to make it up to you every day, and if you know what's good you will keep that fact in teh back of her mind constantly.

That pretty much sums it up. Two points I forgot to mention: As her dominant, I control all finances and have no-questions-asked access to her phone, e-mails, and social media. Also, I have a large penis, so I'm sure that helps.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol - a large dick and a good rogering will put most women in their place.

[–]LukesLikeIt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What you say might be true but from my end it seems like you have a lot of rationalizing in your post. Almost as if you are still afraid she'll do it again. Which is the result of cheating.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you have a lot of rationalizing in your post.

Right, but my rationalizations are objective, not emotional.

[–]AntixD 0 points1 point  (2 children)

she isn't worth killing for,remember that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why would be killing a man who stole something from me be doing something for her? Hell, she'd be next.

[–]AntixD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no i mean,you shouldn't have to suffer in a cell,because of her

[–]Jordoom 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Edit: What the fuck is with the down votes? This is a success story.

That's subjective. I agree the downvotes are unnecessary though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

That's subjective.

That's true, but I can't see how it isn't a success from a RP perspective. I maintain the benefits of an LTR (such as raising my offspring as a family unit) and still can get tail on the side. I'm having trouble finding the negatives in my situation. I've secured the reproductive aspect as well as the "fun" aspect. Living the dream.

[–]TestosteroneFilled 0 points1 point  (3 children)

raising my offspring as a family unit)

Good luck when she's telling her children how chads cum tasted lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Good luck when she's telling her children how chads cum tasted lol.

First off, why the fuck would any sane woman tell that to her children?

Secondly, I doubt she remembers after swallowing so much of mine.

Seriously, don't try mocking someone if you're too fucking stupid to make it entertaining.

[–]TestosteroneFilled -1 points0 points  (1 child)

First off, why the fuck would any sane woman tell that to her children?

So a cheating whore is a sane woman now? Damn fella.

Secondly, I doubt she remembers after swallowing so much of mine.

Seriously stop trying to cope. Just because she's pretending she likes it when you sleep with other girls because she's too much of a pussy and is scared of your $$ leaving, doesn't mean you weren't cuckolded; i.e. the lowest a man can get at any point.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So a cheating whore is a sane woman now?

Yes. Would you call a cheating man crazy?

Just because she's pretending she likes it when you sleep with other girls because she's too much of a pussy and is scared of your $$ leaving

Just the cash? I'm pretty sure my attitude, intelligence, appearance, and prestige play a large part of it.

doesn't mean you weren't cuckolded; i.e. the lowest a man can get at any point.

And I controlled the situation and thrived. Adversity makes men. Also, it may be pertinent to add that an actual cuckold is a man who's wife has another's child. What I sustained amounts to a minor inconvenience in comparison.

[–]Trail_of_Jeers 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am often still beta, but this is something I have zero tolerance for. She cheats, we are done. No compromise, no begging. Getting naked gets you plate status, but no change in decision - were I foolish to be married to her, no amount of poon stops me from serving papers.

[–]ljstens22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't tell your SO that you'll dump them if they cheat (even though you would). Express how it would have repercussions but not that you would sever ties. She'll never admit to doing it if she knows you'll dump her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told her we're past that point and she needs to decide what to do

Whaaaat theeeee fuuuuuuuuuck

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

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[–]PawelKush 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Basically she knows that she can cheat on you and that you won't get mad. Is this the kind of partner for life you want ?

As you are unfaithful yourself, I'd say maybe. Not everybody is like you

[–]Vietnom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I won't get mad. That's just crazy.

What I say is "if you're gonna do it, fine, but don't under any circumstance let me find out about it."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

May as well "officially" declare it as an open relationship, judging by what you said.

In our society, a relationship between two people is assumed to be of exclusivity to each other.

If I get involved with a girl, and neither of us says anything otherwise, I'll expect her to be faithful and I'll do my best to stay faithful. If any of us breaks that part of the "contract", it's over, no coming back, no taking breaks. There's no refunds on personal trust. I can be very chill and laid back about many things, but betrayal isn't one of them.

[–]Vietnom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's true that society imputes that rule, but I think it's ludicrous to stick to it religiously. In my view, people have an innate desire for companionship, just as they have an innate desire for sex. You do your best to have both, is my strategy.

[–]frys180 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I know exactly what you mean. Why are we so bound by ideas like monogamy when our biology tells us to fuck every moment of the day? If we were monogamous by nature, as soon as we got into relationships, we'd be "faithfully hardwired." But that's not the case. Monogamy is normalized just like how drinking cows' milk is normalized. Were "supposed" to get milk from our mothers. Not a fucking cow. (Really wtf is that when you think about it.) Yet we scoff at other cultures that milk from other animals. Like dogs. Who would drink dogs milk? Crazy right?!? :|

[–]TekkomanKingz -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Back in the day cows ate grass and not corn which provided omega 3 and other nutrients that when digested by the cow's digestive system (which is superior to ours in the breakdown of plants) gave a good source of vitamins and minerals direct from the earth.

[–]russianskinhead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she gets fucked by another man, gets pregnant and you will have to pay for that bastard child. some men even have to pay for other mens children without being married. plus STDs.

[–]simkessy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

One of my best friends girl cheated on him a while back. Called me, bitching about the whole situation and looking for comfort I guess.

They broke up, good. But then a few months later, he's inviting her to his bday, she's at the parties he goes to (same friends) they're going out for lunch here and there. Her work sent her to LA for a while, she flew him in.

They're not together or anything but the fact that he's willing to spend anytime with her gives me cause for concern.

Thoughts?

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nothing you can do man. He knows its dumb but does it anyways.

[–]Jordoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be there for him when she hurts him again. Make fun of him for being dumb and buy him a round.

[–]FunkyMonkeyAssassin2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that people nowadays do not understand what it means to fail. Everyone forgives easily, thinking that they might change the second time around but oh, how wrong they are.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such brutality On the other hand though I really can't respect or sympathize with these men or women who are cheated on who have such little self-respect or courage.

[–]Jordoom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can appreciate forgiveness, but forgiveness =/= being a doormat. Forgive her? Sure, if you want. Marry her? No. Just no, dude. Come on.

[–]Aspiring_Hobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told her this would be a long road to total forgiveness, if it came at all.

How can you say that you don't know if you're ever gonna trust a bitch again, yet you're still gonna marry her? Tragic. Just absolutely tragic the kind of hamstering that goes on in that sub.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just remember that there's a world of difference between a one-time thing where she is drunk and letting her guard down leads to a "one thing led to another, and before I knew it" circumstance, and a continued sober premeditated affair.

You have to be fucking kidding me. How far deep into the bluepill asshole does one need to bury himself to say things like this? So a one-time orgasm fest with the pool boy is different than a premediated affair? I can't even begin to understand what damage feminism and "women are wonderful" mentality has done to our society to make people eagerly say this kind of stuff.

It blows my mind how this fucking dickpan can hamster a schema that culminates in the complete opposite of reason.

The premeditative cheater at least shows some hint of self-awareness to her actions and will belay signals in advance to a man who has some social awareness and isn't a naive chump.

On the other hand, the oops-I-slipped-and-fell-on-a-dick cheater is just a roll of the dice. She has such little self-awareness and integrity that she could go to the drug store for some tampons and end up blowing the stock boy for some asinine reason like 'he had a nice tattoo'.

[–]AlphaAccountant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dropped plate was cheating on her bf. We got around to talking about the whole cheating part. She figured that if he ever found out, he would blame himself and take her back. I simply stated that if I was in his situation, I would point her towards the door. She acknowledged, in different words, that that was what separated boys from men. To my knowledge, he now knows. And they're still together. Poor bastard.

Edit: I forgot some of the better parts. They live together. During a supper with her parents (from what I got, he was there as well), she basically told them that she was unhappppy with him and if she could move back in with them. The untold reason being she understood it would be easier to get commitment from me if she could drop him. They said no. She dropped me instead.

[–]EnzoBlankz 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wow even in my hardcore beta blue pill days I would've never stayed if I got cheated on. Some of the comments can't be serious how can they be okay with a cheating wife?

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]EnzoBlankz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i feel you, I was talking to this really hot girl we weren't dating and I went full beta on her and she lost interest/stopped talking to me smh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This just does not make sense to me. How could you be with someone who cheated on you? In my mind, this is like me trying to put a square peg into a round hole.

An exgf of mine cheated on her bf with me and yet the guy was crying and begging her to come back to him. My exgf left him once she told him she was cheating on him and yet he was still trying to be with her.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have only seen it work with cheating sluts when both partners were cheating sluts who got off on telling each other about who else they were fucking.

[–]BowlOfCandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men offer their time as value. If it isn't treated as valuable, such then it isn't worth convincing otherwise. See Archwinger's post about the power of walking away. It's the simple formula to establish the boundary for respect and the standard for relationships with any individual.

[–]DigitalMining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God damn I'm so glad I took The Red Pill. :D

[–]PlanB_pedofile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The parts that suck the most is when the dude is already married, maybe with kids, and she cheats, you almost have no choice but to stick it out or else you'll lose half your shit plus paying alimony in divorce. The double standard kicks in is if you cheat you'll get kicked and fucked over equally as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad OP posted this askmen thread here. I read it in transit yesterday and immediately wondered what redpill would say. Glad there is a voice of reason.

I know a couple who, over the past few years, have gone through this. His now wife is friends with my girlfriend. Before they were engaged, she had a full blown romance with another guy. When the boyfriend found out, he didn't leave, he proposed. I can't even look at him without thinking "you fucking beta pussy." He will never make her truly happy and it's only a matter of time before another guy comes along and pounds her to oblivion.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember thinking like those guys. But then one day came when I simply "thought" my girl was out with another guy. My imagination went stupid.

Thats when I realized that even if I forgave her, I would never be able to look at my girl the same again.

I don't know whether the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" thing is true or not, but to me, it doesn't even matter. I would never be able to get over it. And I'm not willing to invest years upon years on a MAYBE in regards to me getting over it.

I use to think, "well if you love her, you should fight for it". Damn that. I don't owe anyone anything. Once she gets intimate with anyone else after me, all bets are off. My loyalty has been forfeited forever.

[–]Mmmooonkmode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well well well, what do we have here? Truth coming in the mask of being anonymous.

As a woman who has cheated before, let me be frank with you--she will do it again TO YOU. I cheated on my SO in my previous relationship, said I would never do it again, and I didn't but I continued to talk to that guy until my ex threatened the guy to never talk to me again "or else." (I suppose he never wanted to admit that I was a bad person, but instead blamed the guy for manipulating me.)

https://archive.is/AkiC1

[–]richnutz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit this ppl no self-respect. What do their friends think? The family? What would their fucking father think of them.

[–]druganswer 0 points0 points [recovered]

I've cheated on someone I loved when I was young, dumb, and wasted... there entirely is a difference...

both are worth leaving over though... but lying is where cheating becomes a real issue... fuck the poolboy tell me and I can up and leave and I would never have a problem in a relationship ever... but fuck the poolboy and decide oh shit that was stupid "never doing it again" (air quotes on that as bullshit please) i'll just lie and brush it under the rug... well there is the main problem in cheating..

i don't give a fuck if a girl cheats on me and tells me because hey, then i'm out...

[–]Hurgurka 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Cheating is where cheating becomes an issue.

[–]the_red_scimitar 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Even in the poly/non-monogamy lifestyles, cheating is a hanging offense.

[–]ben0wn4g3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I was in an open relationship. This girl knew I'd fucked other girls. She even told me about 1 dude. Then I found out she lied about another. Why!??? I was still hurt like I'd been cheated on. Weird.

[–]the_red_scimitar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not weird. The definition of cheating in any relationship (of any kind, not just romantic) is acting contrary to the rules of the relationship, particularly when intending to hide those acts.

She cheated on you, just as in a monogamous relationship. Your feels were appropriate.

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah just funny as the whole point was to avoid that. Fail.

[–]ramot1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I forgave her a couple of times, cause I, while not cheating, was an asshat in a lot of other ways. But 3 times convinced me to bow out.

[–]bonbravebonobo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I cheated on a girl, in like fashion, told her about experience and she continued to date me, does that make her a beta? Is this subreddit a bit too angry?

[–]GuruDev1000 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

"She cried a lot and said she wished she never told me." <--- Read that a few times. The wife wasn't upset because she felt bad or guilty, she was upset because she got caught.

Although I like this post and all the insightful comments, I don't understand how you come to the above-mentioned conclusion. She didn't get caught, she told him. I think it's important to stay aware and not get carried away when making a point.

[–]AK27ABROAD -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I told her I couldn't have kids with her until I trusted her entirely.

Watch as he tries to regain his power by using the only bargaining chip he has. Sad.

Honestly, if I were to enter an LTR, I'd enter one knowing that cheating is likely, either on my end, hers, or both. Humans are sexual. It's not like every other attractive person on earth disappears the moment you say "I do." I've cheated before, I know how it can happen.

I'm more interested in a consensual monogamish-style relationship. I'm not going to waste my time and energy mate-guarding, and I'm not going to deny my desires as a man. Better to be up front than to slink around quivering at the thought of somebody finding out the truth.

I don't think we're built for a lifetime of monogamy, men or women. What, you think you can spin plates for a decade then stop, cold-turkey, and enter full monogamy?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

Keeping your girl after she cheats is the most alpha thing you can do (serious) Though we may not want to admit it logically speaking if you dump your girl after she cheats you are as beta as they come. You have admitted defeat. You have let the enemy take your girl. You are a certified beta..

A lion in a pride doesn't drop his sloot when another lion comes into his territory; instead he asserts his dominance by driving the intruder away, *ing your girl's brains out effectively letting the female know you are the *ing king of the jungle and no phaggot will wreck the dynamics of the pride/relationship.

Why on this green earth would you dump your girl and give your spoils away? Don't let emotions drive your judgement.

[–]GregariousWolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm calling troll on this one.

[–]serenader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I guess choosing the timing to dump the bitch when it will hurt most may be a better approach but it may depend upon the situation kids, alimony etc.

[–]Mihawk01 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is partly true. I fuck plates on the side, if I find out anything about the main bitch, I told her I will beat the shit out of her, and fuck other bitches right in front of her. I always keep my word, and she knows it, so she knows to stay inline.

[–]TheNewColor -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I kept my wife around after she cheated on me because trust simply don't hold women accountable for their actions.