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"Men who were cheated on but didn't end the relationship, how are you doing?" Welcome to the weekly beta-fest at r/askmen (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by needsomehelp3211

So r/AskMen is a pretty bluepill place on the best of days, but this thread really got me. Also had a lot of redpill truths that I think is important to dissect.

Thread here.

Background: OP got cheated on and unbelievably is considering whether he should end the relationship or stay. Cue the replies from men talking about how they've been willfully cuckolded by their wives and have quietly accepted it, because their wives are just so special and loving!

I found out last year that my wife cheated on me. It was fucking hard! The circumstances were when she was in the middle of a huge depression and didn't know what way was up. She went out for a night out with a load of friends from Uni in 2012, got very drunk, and ended up sleeping with one of them. She kept it quiet and wanted to pretend it never happened, and cut off contact with the dude. I didn't find out until she got a suspicious FB message and was forced to fess up.

Watch as this guy makes up every excuse under the sun. His wife cheated because of depression! That makes it okay. Remember, attaching a sob story to infidelity will excuse the fact that at some point, she decided ThunderBro McDude at the local bar was more worthy of fucking her silly than her own husband was.

My, now current wife, cheated on me just before getting married. We had been together about 4 years at the time. I told one friend, my best man, and he told me to bounce before the nuptials. It hit me kind of it me hard, but I knew I loved this girl. I told her this would be a long road to total forgiveness, if it came at all. I told her I couldn't have kids with her until I trusted her entirely. She cried a lot and said she wish she never told me. I told her we're past that point and she needs to decide what to do. We're now married about a year now. Things have been very hit or miss. We seem to have pretty wild swings in our physical relationship, but more often than not we get along pretty well.

"She cried a lot and said she wished she never told me." <--- Read that a few times. The wife wasn't upset because she felt bad or guilty, she was upset because she got caught. This is a common phenomenon among cheaters and I'd argue, women in general. They are deathly afraid of the gravy train coming to a halt (ie getting divorced or having their pedestalizing boyfriend leave them). So they'll try to bury their animal instincts under mounds of obfuscation and shrewdness. If they're caught, the only tragedy - in their eyes - is that they got caught.

And yet this schlub married her anyway. What a disgrace.

I'll save the best quote for last. This shit got 66 upvotes as of now:

Just remember that there's a world of difference between a one-time thing where she is drunk and letting her guard down leads to a "one thing led to another, and before I knew it" circumstance, and a continued sober premeditated affair.

You have to be fucking kidding me. How far deep into the bluepill asshole does one need to bury himself to say things like this? So a one-time orgasm fest with the pool boy is different than a premediated affair? I can't even begin to understand what damage feminism and "women are wonderful" mentality has done to our society to make people eagerly say this kind of stuff.

Anyway, read the entirety of the thread. It serves as a potent warning of how much one can be blinded by total subservience to women - to the point where you, as a man, can lose all of your dignity and be left a shell of a human being.


[–]ho_made_apple_butter 87 points88 points  (1 child)

A man sleeps with a woman: "yeah I fucked her"

A woman sleeps with a man: "somehow we ended up sleeping together"

[–]Rathadin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Out of all the shit on this thread, and the other thread... this is one that made me actually laugh out loud.

[–][deleted] 549 points550 points  (75 children)

Those are the men that cannot be saved. If I had 50 gallons of water in a desert I would not spare them a drop because they won't stop eating salt and vinegar potato chips.

[–]WeAreGlidingNow 211 points211 points [recovered]

Wow, that's a great line; will re-use without giving you credit. Fits a situation of mine.

[–]waitfor_ittt 83 points84 points  (0 children)

will re-use without giving you credit.

Now that's a good line. I'll use that when I let the person know, in a cheeky way, that I'm using their line without citing them.

[–]ShitLordXurious 37 points38 points  (62 children)

Sorry to be that guy, but eating salt and vinegar crisps might not be such a bad idea in the desert. In the desert you lose a lot of salt due to dehydration, and can become salt depleted; also, the small amount of carbs in the potatoes will break down into sugar and water as you metabolise it which will help sustain you.

[–]RudeBlue 21 points21 points [recovered]

What good is the salt if you are DEHYDRATED? The water is what's important.

[–]ShitLordXurious 43 points44 points  (31 children)

Salt can help you absorb and retain water - ideally you want both.

[–]updock 6 points7 points  (21 children)

People used to carry salt tabs for just that reason. But I thought it had been proven that they weren't worth much.

[–]Vid-Master 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Sports drinks have sodium in them for this reason, "electrolytes" = sodium

A few long distance runners have died from drinking too much water and not having enough sodium / potassium in their body

[–]ShitLordXurious 1 point2 points  (17 children)

I find taking salt with water when I'm dehydrated works far better than just drinking water on its own.

I know I read a study recently that showed athletes rehydrated better when given salt tablet and water.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (14 children)

Thats why Gatorade works better theres salt in it.

[–]MicroMinion 25 points26 points  (7 children)

I've never seen TRP get this off topic before lol.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

find it more interesting than talking about a bunch of blue pill men who allow their wives to cheat tbh

[–]Hitlers_Boss 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Only bluepill men deny the replenishing power of electrolytes

But its seriously good to know science for self improvement and survival.

[–]Rathadin 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Brawndo works best of all though.

[–]limit_breaker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I mean, there's POWERTHIRST after all...

[–]mister_barfly75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brawndo

Oh man, I could go for a thirst mutilator right now

[–]_the_shape_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brawndo's got what plants crave

[–]hyperiron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in Mexico for a week and I drank water till I stopped sweating, then a bottle of Gatorade and is start sweating again, just keep alternating it's awesome

[–]ElKod 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I think you are right here.. As far as how osmosis works, the side of the membrane with more salts is going to retain more water. The membrane in this case is the skin

[–]ShitLordXurious 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's a medical fact.

I'm surprised anyone is contending it - it could mean the difference between life and death, in an extreme situation.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In africa for a long time salt was literally worth its weight in gold for this reason.

[–]tentacle_kisses 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Water like, from the toilet?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

That movie is becoming truer and truer every year.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ShitLordXurious 5 points6 points  (7 children)

No, you lose salt when you become dehydrated.

Replacing salt is essential if you need to rehydrate quickly.

NHS website on treating dehydration.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I disagree. They can be saved, but only by themselves.

I was one of them, stayed with a girl who cheated on me. I dumped her for a month but I couldnt say no to sex offered on a silver platter (my prospects were nonexistent). Eventually I realized I was a total pussy. I had no respect from others, and I didn't deserve any because I had no respect for myself.

We ended up breaking up after I got too sick of her shit. That was 4 years ago, and I am an entirely different man today.

[–]foldpak111 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Those chips are so fucking good.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Try sea salt and balsamic vinegar it's like the Ferrari of salt and vinegar chips

[–]Endorsed ContributorStories_of_Red 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Unless you will lose access to your children, or suffer a crippling financial loss, you never speak to an unfaithful woman again.

And if you find yourself in the circumstances where your access to children or financial ruin is the reason you cannot leave, you must carefully plan the next few years to change that. Then leave.

Never stay one day longer than you must. Ever. If you can leave immediately, and never speak to her again, that is what you do.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (4 children)

Whenever I start feeling down on myself, I just go to /r/AskBetas and think "well at least I'm not one of them".

EDIT: Fucking faggots lol. A woman responds to the "there's a world of difference" nonsense by saying

No there isn't. Zero women in the history of fucking has accidentally fallen on a dick, vagina first.

Fucking -19 points. Even a woman is telling them that they're bullshitting but these betas wanna believe their wives made a little mistake sooooo bad.

EDIT 2: Had no idea /r/askbetas was an actual sub.

[–]Gay_For_Gary_Oldman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That woman has more balls than the rest of the thread combined.

[–]BlackHeart89 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is the goddamn quote of the year right there!

[–]ilikesquash2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Found the comment to give her an upvote! Started reading the responses HOLY COW! They started to analogize it to the difference between Premeditated murder and murder by just snapping. Man, and she points out its a good analogy because end result is still A) person is dead and B) they go to jail! So A)Person cheated and B) Break it off immediately. Results still the same. I wish more people were as logical as she.

[–]1jb_trp 245 points246 points  (85 children)

If you’re in a LTR and you get cheated on the best advice is this: Give them nothing. Maintain frame. Don’t get upset or act emotional. Cut all ties immediately. Get their shit out of your apartment, erase and block them off of social media, block their number, never talk or acknowledge them again, don’t get drunk and text them when you’re angry, don’t ask them to come over if your sad or horny. Nothing. It will break their hamster wheel.

Any attempt at showing kindness or communication after a man has been cuckholded is a step towards beta orbit.

[–]NapalmGod69 101 points102 points  (42 children)

This is good advice, but oh so hard to put into practice. My ex-wife cheated on me after 14 years of marriage, finally told me after about 6 months of marriage counselling. Funny how the fact that she was fucking her old high school boyfriend never came up in the counselling sessions. Instead, they were all about my failings. What I didn't understand then (but understand now) is that I was simply way too BB. Couldn't have been more BB. As in, she was a stay at home mom, and I would work all day then as soon as I got home took over with the kids. Was praised for "having family as the focus". Was told what a great husband I was. Sex life was shit, once a month maybe, but that happens with marriage and young kids I told myself.

In counselling she would complain that we were too enmeshed. That we didn't fight enough. At the time, I thought what BS is this - not fight enough?? Now, I understand that simply agreeing with everything a woman says will dry her up like the sahara, no matter how much they praise you for it.

Anyway, when she told me I was completely blind sided and shattered. Frame was so far gone it was on another planet. Would really have liked to stay stoic, and would really like to never have to talk to her again. But, we have kids and that is a priority for me.

TL;DR - ex wife is a cheating bitch. AWALT.

[–]1jb_trp 26 points27 points  (33 children)

God. I'm so sorry, man. Your situation is a little different. I've never been married and breaking up would be more fluid if a person was not married/didn't have kids with this woman.

[–]NapalmGod69 32 points33 points  (21 children)

Thanks. I am too embarrassed to get into just how beta I handled the break up and the initial period afterwards. However, one thing I am proud of is that I managed to dodge the spousal support bullet. Where I live they DGAF about infidelity when it comes to alimony. My lawyer told me I would be paying between X and Y for 7 to 14 years. Used her guilt in mediation to get some favourable terms, and ended up only paying for about 7 months, at a number close to the low end of the scale.

[–]1jb_trp 22 points23 points  (20 children)

I am too embarrassed to get into just how beta I handled the break up and the initial period afterwards.

Pre-TRP, we've all been there. I cringe at how I've handled myself in past relationships. I feel so much more empowered now.

Where I live they DGAF about infidelity when it comes to alimony. My lawyer told me I would be paying between X and Y for 7 to 14 years.

Alimony?? Shit, man. Did you have child support too? And did they figure those numbers separately?

[–]NapalmGod69 13 points14 points  (19 children)

Still paying child support, and yes, they are calculated separately. It is based on my income. There is a chart - everyone pays the same. You look up your income, the number of kids and the chart says "X" per month.

And you can bet it galls me when I have to pay it, and then when I have to step in to get the kids some basics anyway.

[–]1jb_trp 15 points16 points  (7 children)

Man. Your story is too RP-cliche. Your wife cheated on you, divorced you, you had to pay alimony and child support, and it doesn't sound like she's very good mother. Ugh.

[–]NapalmGod69 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Ugh, and cliche indeed. Couldn't have a more "thought she was a unicorn but AWALT" story than mine. Maybe one day I will tell it in a more fulsome way as a warning to others.

[–]chinawinsworlds 11 points12 points  (1 child)

There should be law where if you could prove they had been cheating, you'd avoid alimony and child support.

[–]Jordoom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There used to be, AFAIK. Hell, even in the Bible, when Jesus outlaws divorce (probably one of the most strict interpretations of marriage in human history), He makes an exception for a cheating wife.

Feminism has drove the world mad.

[–]DreamBoatGuy25 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's amazing to me. Two people can look into each others eyes and promise to spend the rest of their lives together and the crazy part is they really mean it, and yet more often than not, they end up divorced and hating each other.

One of the things I thank TRP for more than anything is showing me what a fucking shame marriage is.

I am so never ever getting married. Thanks for reminder #982349712340.

[–]1jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would be a great post and helpful to the community to hear about your dealings with infidelity, alimony, divorce, your children, and how TRP has helped you and what you'd do different now. I'd love to hear a more fleshed out version.

[–]2renzy77 1 point2 points  (4 children)

And you can bet it galls me when I have to pay it, and then when I have to step in to get the kids some basics anyway.

Do women have any sort of burden of proof that the child support money they are recieving is actually being spent on...you know...the children? As opposed to herself, her new boyfriend, etc.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My last payment of indentured servitude was last month. She neglected the kids, spent it all on herself, and always wanted more. Now that the kids are too old to get money for her, she has kicked them out. Yep mom of the century.

[–]ithrax 10 points11 points  (10 children)

I'm married and have a child.

I'd throw my wife out in 2 seconds flat if she cheated and she knows it.

I think it's important to let your SO know that you won't put up with disrespect or infidelity. You have to respond to their shit tests properly and let them know you can live without them if you are put in that position.

[–]StarDestinyGuy[🍰] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I'd throw my wife out in 2 seconds flat if she cheated and she knows it.

I think it's important to let your SO know that you won't put up with disrespect or infidelity.

So she'll just hide it especially well then, yes?

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]the_red_scimitar 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Frame gone? No shit, after 6 months of "therapy", consisting of bashing everything about you. LTRs are such dangerous frame destroyers. Read up on Rollo's postings (The Rational Male) about it - he's in a similar LTR, but has gotten a handle on how to navigate that as an RP man.

[–]NapalmGod69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Reading those, I also read Married RedPill and Ask TRP for tips on how to incorporate TRP into my current situation.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What happened? Please go on.

[–]NapalmGod69 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the interest. I will likely do a stand-alone post in the near future with a fuller story, rather than continuing to sort of derail the discussion of this post.

[–]the_red_scimitar 4 points5 points  (15 children)

This is exactly how I treat several capital relationship offenses. There's at least one ex here who creeps my posts, and she knows this very well.

[–]redditarcm89 6 points6 points [recovered]

Get their shit out of your apartment

Is it necessary to give it to them? Can you just throw it away, sell it, or burn it? Would there be legal repercussions?

[–]2alisonstone 7 points8 points  (8 children)

Yes, it is illegal to throw their property away. Just because you own the house or the apartment is in your name, it doesn't allow you to keep or destroy other people's property that end up inside your house because you invited them in there. Otherwise, you'll hear tons of stories about how some hot guy or girl would seduce people and then kick them out and keep all their stuff, and repeat over and over again. They'll have multiple apartments and do it to multiple victims at the same time. It would be a great con.

[–]redditarcm89 9 points9 points [recovered]

Well, I hear stories pretty often of a girl catching her guy cheating then destroying all his electronics without repercussion.

[–]1jb_trp 26 points27 points  (0 children)

When a woman does it, it's a sign of female empowerment. Carrie Underwood can write a song and record a video and everyone will cheer her on ("You go girl! He deserved it.").

And with that mentality, why stop at destroying property? Why not destroy the man himself? Tiger Wood's ex could chase him down the driveway with a golf club and it becomes a punch line. If you drug your husband and cut off his penis the women of the View will laugh and cheer about how funny it is (lol!).

[–]2alisonstone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's illegal, but a girl can get away with it while a guy can't. The guy can try to sue her, but he knows the false rape accusations or abuse allegations would come and he is fucked.

[–]zpatriarchy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they can get away with it because r/pussypass

[–]1jb_trp 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I threw away cheap shit that an ex-gf and I had. I would be hesitant to throw away anything expensive. Just give it to her friends/family for them to give to her and be done with her.

[–]blue_27 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Fuck the legal repercussions, you just look like a whiny little bitch. Oh, you hurt my feelings, so I'm going to break your shit? Like that one song that all the chicks love about smashing up dude's car because she caught him cheating, or flirting or some shit. Nope. Just act as they no longer exist, and call it a day. Temper tantrums are for women and children.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I just meant that if my SO cheated, I wouldn't want to have to look at them again, and she'd tell her family whatever it takes to get them "on her side".

[–]blue_27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right on. Just box it, and put it on the porch.

[–]vox_veritas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would there be legal repercussions?

Of course there would be. You can't just destroy someone's stuff because you're mad at them. Are you joking?

[–]Niordd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well said. Show her that you will not waste on her 5 minutes more of your life.

I totally imagined here Leonidas from 300 saying "GIVE THEM NOTHING" in his voice

[–]Wakingupfinally 34 points35 points  (2 children)

I for one am getting the divorce I should have gotten 2 years ago. Never could get over it, never could find a shred of trust for her. Wasted 2 years of my life trying. Thankfully I found TRP to really help me through thr divorce and see all the good on the other side. Divorce is not final yet but working on my first two plates.

[–]SithLordDarthRevan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good for you for taking a stand against that shit.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (8 children)

Yeah they're never sorry they did it, they're only sorry they got caught.

[–]the_red_scimitar 26 points27 points  (5 children)

This is not only true, but when they get caught, they will blame YOU for the resulting disaster, because you shouldn't have tried to find out.

This is one of the most common things you'll see in, for example, XX, as part of the distressed, "validate me!" postings there about being caught cheating.

[–]advancedminimal 4 points4 points [recovered]

Yep. When I found evidence of my ex-wife cheating, she said I breached her trust because I looked at her phone one morning after her being shady as fuck for a week and found her sexts to a fucking pizza guy she was secretly seeing.

All her friends took her side, of course. It was my fault for not trusting her, finding out a month after the fact she had been doing this. I couldn't comprehend the hamstering going on. I was labeled a "hacker" and she told her sob story to everyone (female) at her job. I had "hacked" her unlocked, password-free phone that was buzzing like crazy while I was trying to sleep in on a day off.

[–]the_red_scimitar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the bright side, pizza delivery porn!

And meh, almost nobody who uses the term "hacking" in any form, has so much as a clue what it means.

Thanks for the story, though. Sad, but all too typical.

Edit: You know, the whole female imperative is basically the gaslighting of men.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Women have somehow established a social structure in which finding out your partner is lying (which is usually a few very easy taps on a phone) is now more frowned upon than cheating itself.

[–]iamcathyy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Bullseye right there. When I found out my ex-gf was cheating on me, she immediately blamed me and said everything would have remained fine if I didn't try to find out the truth.

I was fucking weak then though and still forgave her because I couldn't bare to spend a day without her. Caught her again a month later and I cut off all contact with her.

[–]foldpak111 24 points25 points  (0 children)

and Not a single drop of testosterone was produced that day

[–]notmyusualreddit 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I caught a gf cheating once by going through her phone. She had admitted it to a friend of hers in text message. Shit hit the fan and I tried to get away from her. A month later, shes at my house. I ask her to see her phone and look through it. Yes it was a weak beta move. I was hurt. I was learning.

Only notable thing I read was her discussing it with her mother.. how all this happened at how it blew up our relationship. And her mother says "WELL NOW YOU KNOW NOT TO PUT THINGS LIKE THAT IN WRITING". This was the lesson from the mother.

[–]1DRMMR76 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Yep. The only lesson females will ever know: don't get caught.

[–]notmyusualreddit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

When I read that, thats when I really knew I had to leave this chick. At first I had thought "I made this happen. I had ignored her, broken up with her on whims, and lost my edge." which was all true. I thought I could fix myself and she wouldn't do it ever again. I knew I had let myself go and I've used it since to be better and never fall that far again.

But I knew it was over when I realized this chick was raised her entire life by a woman that would write that as her take away advice on the situation. Theres no going back when you have biology AND society teaching that these things are ok.

[–]eagle_shadow 22 points23 points  (1 child)

My ex cheated on me. I attempted to forgive her and give her another chance, but I didn't trust her. Her behavior didn't change. I started keeping docs and notes about her lies, alienation (we have 2 daughters), partying, etc. When I had enough documentation, I gave her an ultimatum: come home and be a wife or file for divorce. She filed and made the usual claims--abusive, alcoholic, not caring, blah blah blah. Because I had kept notes and confirmation from 3rd parties (including how she was currently violating the court's orders), I was able to show the truth. I kicked her ass in family court. She got nothing.

Then I found the red pill.....AWALT

[–]imherefornews 108 points108 points [recovered]

Cheating happens when your selfishness exceeds your empathy for your partner.

Almost hit the nail on the head. A Woman's selfishness will always exceed her empathy for her partner. If you want to achieve loyalty from her, you have to give her selfish reasons not to do it.

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (13 children)

Tribal politics, national politics, global politics, small business dealings, major business partnerships, global business partnerships, military alliances, etc, etc, etc...

Literally EVERY fucking thing that has ever been made to build civilization has recognized that you must give an ally a selfish reason to remain loyal to you.

This is basically the first thing that civilizing humans had to figure out.

Why is is so hard for BPers to accept that the same rules apply to sexual/romantic relationships? It baffles me how so few people can connect that last dot.

[–]Axoc 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Tribal politics, national politics, global politics, small business dealings, major business partnerships, global business partnerships, military alliances, etc, etc, etc...

Literally EVERY fucking thing that has ever been made to build civilization has recognized that you must give an ally a selfish reason to remain loyal to you.

Also known as: The Prince in two paragraphs.

[–]fatw 22 points22 points [recovered]

Because we romanticize... well... romance.

There people out there who legitimately believe in soul mates.

I won't say there isn't any leeway, though.

I love my girlfriend. If she became horrible burned and disfigured, I would genuinely consider staying. Hell, I probably would. But that doesn't mean temptation for others doesn't increase due to my decreased attraction for her.

Love is like an ongoing business deal. We both stay if we think continuing with the relationship is our best option. There are a lot of factors at play, yes, and a fair amount of leeway, but if I want my partner to stay, I have to make her WANT to stay.

[–]SwallowRP 2 points2 points [recovered]

Would she do the same for you if you got burned and lost all your wealth/power/value?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't forget anything taught in any (capitalist based) economics class. People operate off incentive, that's just how it is. The incentive to be faithful(ie. risk of negative consequences) has to be higher than any a "pool boy" will give. Every cheater wonders whether they can avoid getting caught, and concludes that they can.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It's the same thing with recognizing that some cultures in the world are more socially advanced than others. But in my anthropology elective class, I learned that's called "ethnocentrism" and it's offensive. (rolls eyes)

[–]WS6Grumbles 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That is because while I love college and higher learning in general (current student, learn for the sake of learning), that environment is BP as fuck.

Just take your women's lib and theology courses and enjoy yourself making little atheists and misogynists.

[–]LeFlamel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's called that because the ruler you use to measure "advancement" is biased by the normative conceptions of the given society.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is probably the most profound thing I have read in TRP for 6 months. ♂

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]tallwheel 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Be a man of value and be ready to walk anytime and she will selfishly cling to you in order to benefit herself.

[–]Buckysaurus 41 points41 points [recovered]

After the second time, it was bye-bye. I'm not your toy.

This quote right here. Never be this guy.

[–]markfeel 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Look on the bright side. It could've been much worse for him.

[–]Rathadin 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I think you're looking at it the wrong way... he got out. It "clicked" and he finally realized what a fucked up situation he was in.

Hell, most of them never 'get out'.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego 101 points102 points  (14 children)

These worthless mangina faggots should be ashamed of themselves. They aren't even men. They know they are cuckolds and they don't even bother to do anything about it. Women all know which of their friends husbands are open cucks as well. They talk about it. And since women are basically cows mooing in a herd you need to make sure to not be friends with these willing cuckolds. Also don't let a plate advance to girlfriend if she has friends who are cucking their men.

[–]_the_shape_ 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Also don't let a plate advance to girlfriend if she has friends who are cucking their men.

Solid point.

"Tell me who you hang around with and I'll tell you who you are"

[–]TomSachs 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. You're an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is important, shell get influenced by hags

[–]grimreaperx2 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Speaking of Manginas, this video was posted earlier. Have a glimpse of our beta feminist driven future.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

I wanna see that get done to a girl and watch all the feminists collectively loose their shit.

[–]grimreaperx2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Slow down you patriarchy supporting women oppressing stealing my wages and taking all the privileges shitlord. That is physical and mental abuse, rape, molestation, harassment, and the gross misconception that women would do any wrong.

Check yourself back into beta-hood or else!

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That just pissed me off to no end. Hearing those dumb bitches laughing in the background, knowing damn well 3/4 of them go to Chad's house 3 night's a week! Fucking sickening.

[–]Blood_Red_Phoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At first I felt nothing but rage when I saw this video, but now I think I love it. There's no better metaphor I've ever seen for intersexual dynamics on a wide scale.

We blatantly see women being feral and cruel to the beta, who is submitting to them hoping for some kind of redemption (no doubt fueled by his idealistic perceptions of woman-as-nurturer). We all know as well that these same decently attractive women are freely perusing alpha males who inspire respect and desire in them. The best part is that they wouldn't dare cross or disrespect these alpha males, presenting them with the perfect image of cultured femininity. Meanwhile, they cackle in enjoyment over the pain of a clueless beta male, a worthless commodity to them

[–]the_red_scimitar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Frankly, I'd rather be talked about as the guy who fucked several of those housewives into unconsciousness. Then, let 'em talk.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As they say, birds of a feather flock together.

[–]asdfghjkltyu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The saddest thing is that they don't even acknowledge the act, but are so caught up in their misplaced feelings, there are so many posts in that thread about how 'they love her'. So because they have those 'feelings' they're going to be a sucker.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

"She cried a lot and said she wished she never told me." <--- Read that a few times. The wife wasn't upset because she felt bad or guilty, she was upset because she got caught. This is a common phenomenon among cheaters and I'd argue, women in general. They are deathly afraid of the gravy train coming to a halt (ie getting divorced or having their pedestalizing boyfriend leave them). So they'll try to bury their animal instincts under mounds of obfuscation and shrewdness. If they're caught, the only tragedy - in their eyes - is that they got caught.

I disagree that that's what's going on. The truth is worse.

She's pissed that she's suffering consequences! She's under the impression that you get praised for doing what you should, so you should be deified when you go above and beyond. In her mind, she didn't have to tell. She could have hidden it indefinitely. Instead she chose to be open and honest and forthcoming. In her mind, she's being super fiance in showing her honesty and loyalty and commitment to the relationship.

Her draining another guy's balls? That's not relevant, because, well, she's a woman and woman are only judged by the good they do. It is blowing her mind that her cheating is part of the equations. It is blowing it even further that it's outweighing the good. It's beyond blown that it's controlling the situation. SHE'S BEING HELD RESPONSIBLE???

She regrets telling him. She didn't tell him because she wanted to be loyal, or honest or good. She told him because she wanted the adulation she believed telling him would garner. When that didn't happen, she becomes regretful. NOT that she fucked another guy, she still feels the exact same way about that so there's nothing to regret. No, she regrets being honest and loyal because she didn't get anything in return.

[–]the_red_scimitar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mmmm, meh. I don't think that's the whole truth, or even, as you seem to have been attempting, the underlying truth. I think it comes down to the gender-wide trait of solipsism. The shock and surprise that anybody would ever view something differently than they, themselves, do.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

If you had asked me a few years ago about how I would react to my wife's infidelity, I would've given you the standard "throw her ass out, burn her shit, tell everyone, fuck 283 young college chicks immediately" answer. Every guys says that. Instead, I became a groveling ass. I asked for reasons why. I asked her friends. I asked her family. I cried myself to sleep for days. And then... a light switch was flipped, and I was all better. Looked at myself in disgust. "WTF was I thinking?!"

It's just a natural response to abandonment and betrayal. Some guys are worse than others. As long as they eventually snap out of it and don't make mistakes that hurt them in the long run, let them have their blue pill moment. If it carries on for months and keeps them with their whore wife... yeah, that's not good.

[–]notmyusualreddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was the exact same way. I had read the early manosphere PUA stuff since I was 18 around 2002. I always laughed at the idea of being pissed off at cheating. "On to the next!!!" I thought Id say with a smile on my face thinking of the next guilt free party Id be going to.

But then something hits you. You realize you were actually trying and this still happened to you. When I was younger, I wasn't doing anything, I just hung out with a gf sometimes and did a few fun things and had sex. Now I was successful at work, I owned a home, I took her on streetbike rides, we went on a few fun trips, AND SHE STILL CHEATED!? Wtf is wrong with me. Wtf is wrong with us. Do I want to start all over after 3 years? What am I missing? Can I stop her or anyone else from doing this again? It seems like EVERY girl can do this, so why try with a different one anyway, why not just try with this one again.

The shit that goes through your head upon cheating is stuff you'd never think youd even dream. I never even told a single person she cheated because I couldn't face being the guy that got cheated on. I'm god damn 6'4", deliver in bed, make money, and Im not THAT god damn beta, and that shit still happens. I dont know how the married guys do it. When women are so fickle, who can honestly keep it all up 24/7 for years, decades, and a lifetime? And eventually Im keeping all this up for a 43 year old woman? And then a 53 year old woman???? God damn.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (7 children)

I can't honestly believe that people think like this. The common trend in this thread is that these chicks "made mistakes" like slipping into a bar and accidentally fucking an "acquaintance" is a mistake or how they found out months later; not because the girl told them but because they got caught. This is some beta bull shit.

I can't take someone seriously who thinks cheating can be forgiven. Especially the dude that fucking married the fucking chick who cheated on him. He found out the day before his wedding and he still went ahead with it. No excuses. These people aren't sad that they actually cheated. They are sad they got themselves into a situation in which they have to confront the person they cheated on.

The biggest thing for me in my life is the loyalty one has for another. If a girl can't respect you enough to be loyal and truthful then she is no fucking good. One injustice is all that is needed. Fuck

Now folks, get ready for this one; this is the most beta shit I've read in a good while from this thread:

Turns out non monogamy is a much better fit for me and I probably wouldn't have discovered this without being thrown in at the deep end.

Dude was cheated on, found out his wife was going to leave him, and he was hurt. Instead of leaving he was put into a non monogamous relationship in which they (IE. his wife) can fuck as many dudes (probably the dude she was going to leave with) with impunity. He became a willing cuckold. No respect.

To top it off:

For the last 6 months we've been long distance

Hahahahhahahahahaha. This is all I can say. I wonder why she wanted an open relationship...

[–]the_red_scimitar 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Sorry, bruh, believe it. Take that doubt you have and shred it to fuck, because it is based on the feminist and betaman lies you were indoctrinated into.

Also, there's the massive, and utterly worthless, "relationship counseling" industry, so... yeah.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I was being slightly sarcastic man. I know how fucked these dudes are haha.

I'm not under any illusions.

[–]the_red_scimitar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We need a "slightly sarcastic" indicator. Maybe /S is "really sarcastic", and /s is not so much?

[–]topredhat 35 points36 points  (15 children)

Why don't they secretly cheat on the them? We can't forget about equality.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

What do you think the, SMV of an open cuck is?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

Because they are better people.

[–]topredhat 27 points28 points  (10 children)

It doesn't matter if they are better people. They don't have enough self respect to leave.

[–]1whatsazipper 36 points37 points  (7 children)

If you don't have enough self respect to leave, then you're certainly not a better person; you're a spineless person.

[–]Gadnuk_ 7 points8 points  (3 children)

More honorable m'lady ≠ better person

I agree, it's all in the sidebar

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think /u/CleverNeologism meant "more moral people".

[–]1Dis_mah_mobile_one 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And I think he was just being sarcastic

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope. 100% truthful.

Vindictive people who would cheat back are people who don't have the self-esteem to build themselves back up from an insult or slight without knocking down someone else.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He asked the question "why don't they cheat back".

Answer: Because they are better people than that.

"Why doesn't he just leave"

Because while he's a better person than a petty, vindictive child, he's not that awesome.

[–]AmazingAndy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i think people who stay with cheaters often feel like they don't have options. Call it oneitis or whatever but attempting to cling to a relationship that gave you happiness in the past is a very human reaction. Not a healthy or logical one but i can at least put myself in their mindset.

[–]the_red_scimitar 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Yeah, the "wish I'd never told you" is usually followed up with "but it's your fault I did it."

Everything else has more agency in their own lives than themselves, for such women.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It is the guys fault that she did it, because his frame is made out of fucking jello.

[–]AirNova 13 points14 points  (12 children)

I dated a girl for 3 years she cheated on me by making out with a lesbian 2 years in, this was a very grey area for me as it wasn't extreme but it was still cheating, I broke up with her a year later when I decided I needed more self respect. 1 year later I discovered the red pill and I'm still in the anger and bitter phase. I still blame myself for the cheating for some reason and I still want things to have gone differently. I started lifting and I'm 2 months in but I can't do anything to shake this over all bitterness towards women, how do I get past this phase?

[–]mcjustmatt 9 points10 points  (1 child)

keep lifting, and the women that come to you will relieve this bitter resentment. Your perception of women is still scared. Just give it a little more time until your efforts start being rewarded. Sooooon brother.

[–]rpscrote 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I started lifting and I'm 2 months in but I can't do anything to shake this over all bitterness towards women, how do I get past this phase?

Don't worry about it. Seriously. You'll get past it by focusing on other things, improving your own life, advancing your own goals. It's a process so gradual you won't know its happening until its done. Worrying about getting past it will make sure that you dont

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]AirNova 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Not when the girl does it 1. Without you 2. The girl looks and talks like a dude

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No there isn't. Zero women in the history of fucking has accidentally fallen on a dick, vagina first.

And notice, one person tries to argue on the other side and they get downvoted to oblivion in that blue pill thread.

This comment in particular has -14 karma. What a shame.

[–][deleted] 10 points10 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ho_made_apple_butter 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Their female masters agree with you.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Well if he's going to stay married to her, I hope he's at least fucking other women or just totally cold toward her. I don't understand how someone can just continue "loving" their partner after they cheated on you. I don't understand how anyone can forgive that.

To me it's like wearing a tee shirt that says "I'm naive, please take advantage of me, I won't learn from my mistakes and keep letting it repeat. Go ahead and walk all over me."

Then these people try to play the high card and say "I'm above that, I'm selfless". Well if you were truly selfless, you'd sacrifice your white knight attitude and be an asshole to the one you "love" so they get set straight for a better livelihood. Fuck.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How many 'depressive' episodes did she have? More than one, I reckon...

[–]thehonestdouchebag 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love the guy who said that if you want to be a white knight, adopt a battered dog.

[–]1jimjackjoe 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Below is a response I found interesting. The poster preaches a message of forgiveness, and then relates a story about how he totally screwed over some dude in what seems to have been an illicit business deal. The dude forgives him, which spares the poster from going to prison (obviously this guy had the power to testify against him). The poster is so floored by this act of mercy, he completely changes his way of life around, and lives a non-criminal life now.

Anyway, what he overlooks is that in his situation two males were interacting, and so concepts such as loyalty and accountability came into play. The guy who was wronged showed loyalty by not busting the poster, and the poster showed accountability by actually changing his life in response to this act. If you forgive a woman, though, she's likely to just think, "Fuck yes, time to get even more shit for myself out of this situation."

The main reason I am pointing all this out is because it shows how man's natural moral code (I'm not including dark triad types, I just mean normal guys) can blind us from understanding and accepting the nature of women. Women simply live by a different set of codes. We can't apply our codes to how they would think. Therefore, forgiving a woman for cheating is actually completely different from the situation the poster describes.

I don't have experience with this specifically, so I should probably just shut up, but I DO have experience with horrific, life-altering actions...I won't call them mistakes because I knew full well the action and possible consequences.

I guess I can only speak for me, but I believe everyone has a "changing" point in their lives. Maybe it's the point at which we grow up. It took me about 30 years to reach that point. I never took life seriously, I never stopped to really think about what I could lose. I was married. I had kids. I would lose everything, but I lived for that day alone and tomorrow was something I was too foolish to think about.

Then I got caught. I always thought I was too good at it to get caught. Nope. In that moment, you bet your ass I was only sorry I got caught, not that I did it. I was prepared to spend years upon years in prison. I had resigned to that destiny, but out of nowhere... the person that caught me FORGAVE me. This was not small. I wronged him more than anyone else will ever wrong him again. I was stunned. I walked away from him and my life was changed, not from the getting caught, but from unbelievable mercy. I live right now. I would never do anything illegal or wrong again. My life before that day was a blur, and only since that day do I feel like I live. I can't imagine how hard it was to shake my hand as I walked away from that. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to pay it forward.

Now I am not saying to just blindly forgive a cheating spouse. What I am saying, especially if it is early in a marriage, sometimes people haven't hit that line where your life changes and you become an adult with love and compassion and the will to do the right thing. Sometimes life is just a blur inside. Because of my experience, I don't necessarily believe the idea "once a _, always a _", be it cheater, liar, thief, bad person, etc. People can change in an instant, even if the circumstances of their chance was them getting caught.

I guess all I am saying is that there are a lot of speed bumps on the road to maturity. Consider if the wrong was a just a bump, or a wall.

[–]1DRMMR76 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interacting with women how we would interact with other men, and expecting women to do the same, is a cornerstone of many Beta men. It was for me anyways. That is why the "just be yourself" line is so insidious. It only works on honorable men because only honorable yet naive men hear this advice, assume the woman is actually trying to help, and act out on it.

[–]Mihawk01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women live in the moment. They will promise something if it suits them, then forget it when it doesn't. Simple.

[–]TheRealMewt 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Oh come on, OP.

This sub is chock full of men who had lives and relationships akin to those posted in that thread - marriages ruined and hopes of loving relationships dashed by their partner's selfishness, only for the hapless suckers to turn around and embrace their "lover" once again. I know I used to be a guy like that. I know better now.

Shit like this may be a cautionary tale for us to not go down that road, but do we need to put our fellow man on the cross for not getting it? A man who stays with a cheating SO deserves whatever pain may be associated with being in that unhealthy relationship - to me, that sounds like enough torment.

[–]Jordoom 6 points7 points  (2 children)

This is a good post. I feel people get too into portraying an "alpha" persona on here that the quality of the posts sometimes dips.

[–]1DRMMR76 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That is very frequent, and I've noticed too. I have my own theory that it's because they are not at all Alpha in real life, and coming on here, trying to AMOG some anonymous dudes online and pretend for just a few minutes that they really are who they say there are is their way to cope.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't hate too much, many of us were there once. The difference is in learning from yours and the mistakes of others.

[–]LUClEN 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Why would you not end it? That's unfathomable to me

[–]elrayem 9 points10 points  (1 child)

ego, financial cost and kids are the most frequent reasons....falling for the fallacy of sunk costs is common, stubbornness and ego over failing at marriage, and access to your children. of all of them, access to kids (and protecting them) is the biggest legit issue in my experience.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah the joys of Marriage 2.0. Can't divorce a cheating bitch because she still gets to divorce-rape you

[–]newls 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're still living in a Disney love-fest fantasy land where the good guys always end up with their true love and women will love them unconditionally until the end of time.

That's where a lot of hostility to TRP comes from. They don't want to break their fantasy. They don't want to believe that treating their girlfriends worse will actually make her happier and love them more.

[–]the99percent1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The male hamster is equally as strong..

I can bet all these guys are average looking, fat, & poor/average life with no options other than their wives. Their hamster wheels keeps them where they are in life. They have inhibited their capacity for growth and excellence.

Anyone looking to improve themselves needs to be able to do self-introspection and take fair criticisms on the chin to improve. And that means recognizing when you are a loser with no options.

[–]_bluerabbit_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This men are even more pathetic than me and i am a neckbeard

[–]sertasheep23[🍰] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I stayed after getting cheated on. It was seriously the biggest mistake of my entire life. I'm divorced three years now and I'm still mentally and emotionally recovering from bluepillism. Haven't gotten into a relationship in fear of turning back into that pathetic self again. Doing better and better everyday though. The shitty part is I haven't had sex since.

[–]bassmouthgibbs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is the Askmen, what did you expect?

A sub that has female mods who abuse their power, mods that shut down almost every thread that is posted, and one in which females are allowed to spew their nonsense while men are pussywhipped. It is one of my biggest fears that a day comes when this sub allows a woman to be a moderator, that is what has happened with Askmen. You cannot let a female be a moderator for a sub that is meant for men spaces, women will run it to the ground.

This is a classical example of women abusing their power when they are given power. Women have no right to have any authority in men dominated spaces. I can't really say much nice things about the male mods on that sub either, they delete every thread on there when given the chance. Most of them are just as awful as the female ones, if not worse.

The sub is full of some the most crooked power-abusing mods on reddit.

[–]redasphuck 3 points3 points [recovered]

How am I doing..hmm..she cheated on me with dude I tell her to go fuck her self she begs pleads and promises everything and and anything to take her back. I take her back she moves in, an year on the dot she leaves me for some other dude at work...yeah got my heart ripped twice in less than a year by the same whore..thats how its going.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she did it once, she will do it again. Lesson learned bro, just move on, learn from it, and use the motivation to better yourself.

[–]carlosvives 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Back in my high school days, I was quite the little player actually. However this one girl tied me down and looking back at it, it was completely obvious how dumb I was for even starting a LTR, but I digress.. Anyway after about 6 months she cheated on me on New Year's Eve with one of my neighborhood buddies. Beta ass me was so whipped back then I actually took her back and tried to work things out for a month or two before realizing how big of a waste of time she was. I then suffered severe beta syndrome and lost almost all my game without any idea what was wrong with me. To be completely honest, I was in that rut for about a year or so (senior year of all times to get in a rut, what a waste). Then I took LSD with one of my best friends and had a great night just having fun and dicking around. And for some reason, the next day I began to regain all of my self confidence and got a real sense of worth back. I've since found the red pill and have started becoming the man I want to be. Call it bullshit or whatever you want, but for some reason it just clicked for me after tripping that I'm worth something and I started acting like it and believing it.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 1 point2 points  (2 children)

LSD changed my life, hands down. Call it what you wanna call it

[–]SomeEndUser 3 points3 points [recovered]

She cheated on my 7 years ago. Took her back and we eventually married and had kids.

Last year she filed for divorce and kicked me out of the place we were living. A week after she filed for the divorce she was moving in with the neighbor guy.

My advice is if she cheated on you, there's something in her, her sub conscience, her dna, idk. But it seeks self pleasure without the care for consequence. They might be sorry and truly am but seems like they fall back to that urge.

I'm not a religious person but perhaps if a couple brought in faith that things could change. I'm not here to discuss that, just the idea of something like that may truly help a couple a or person through self struggle.

[–]1Snivellious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus, where did this come from? At my absolute most BP this never entered my head. Not only was my internal policy "if you ever cheat, we're done", it was very clear to anyone I was with. I can't imagine losing track of even that.

The "got caught" quote has a horrifying thing there you didn't mention: "she needs to decide what to do". He outlined his feelings and told the woman who had just cheated on him to make the decision for him. That's a level of surrender I've never seen.

[–]Dayman_ah-ah-ah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

a one-time orgasm fest with the pool boy

Fucking lol. I've never seen a sub with such extensive language skills

[–]ChristopherBurr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I have not been cheated on - but I'll offer a little of my insight. I might choose to stay because I wouldn't want to be separated from my children. That being said - all bets would be off for fidelity.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guarantee, in at least 85% of those stories, she told him, "I don't like anal/BJ/doggy/CIF/CIM/whatever-the-fuck-he-wants" and she did that thing with Chad T. Cock.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn... a few years ago before I discovered TRP I had a relationship with a girl who moved 3000 miles from the east coast. After about a year of going out, I had to move so I was going to break it off. It came out that she'd never broken up with her old boyfriend back home. In fact, they had been ENGAGED for 6 months. That was an interesting confrontation. The interesting thing is that he stayed with her. Even then, I just felt fundamentally weird about it FOR him. They're scheduled to get married here soon. I still feel kind of bad for that guy – to be that tied up in a woman and lose all your self respect like that. How can a woman ever respect you again if you have such a low opinion of yourself to remain with her after she cheated on you? That's all I'm thinking as I read these...

[–]toughloveadvicegiver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gah. Incomprehensible. I always advocate leaving when cheating is involved.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (17 children)

I've got an interesting story concerning cheating. Doesn't fit the general narrative.

My wife cheated on me when I was still in the military. Long story short, she's still my wife. However, I am now also her dominant and she is what would be considered a "cuckqueen". She is faithful to me while I get to play the field. Ironic, isn't it? There's no point leaving the situation if you can control the situation to work to your advantage. That is being resourceful.

I would also like to point out that she didn't rationalize her cheating and accepted full responsibility. That was a big factor when deciding whether or not to leave.

Edit: What the fuck is with the down votes? This is a success story.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 1 point2 points  (9 children)

I would also like to point out that she didn't rationalize her cheating and accepted full responsibility. That was a big factor when deciding whether or not to leave.

That's big, but how do you know she doesn't take it from Chad on a regular basis?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Partly because our schedule would make that damn near impossible. Another factor would be that she is terrified at the notion of me leaving. A third would be the fact that any would-be-Chads would have to realize that I'm well-armed, combat-trained, and don't give a fuck if the law tells me I shouldn't kill people.

I guess the point is that I'm the biggest fish in the pond around here, anyway. There's no reason to look elsewhere for a higher-value male. I should probably mention that the cheating took place early in the marriage (she was still 18 when we were married) and I was away from her for over a year. I almost can't blame her. It's my fault for being ignorant of a woman's nature at the time. Also, I didn't catch her. She came clean on her own.

[–]Trail_of_Jeers 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am often still beta, but this is something I have zero tolerance for. She cheats, we are done. No compromise, no begging. Getting naked gets you plate status, but no change in decision - were I foolish to be married to her, no amount of poon stops me from serving papers.

[–]ljstens22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't tell your SO that you'll dump them if they cheat (even though you would). Express how it would have repercussions but not that you would sever ties. She'll never admit to doing it if she knows you'll dump her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told her we're past that point and she needs to decide what to do

Whaaaat theeeee fuuuuuuuuuck

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]PawelKush 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Basically she knows that she can cheat on you and that you won't get mad. Is this the kind of partner for life you want ?

As you are unfaithful yourself, I'd say maybe. Not everybody is like you

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

May as well "officially" declare it as an open relationship, judging by what you said.

In our society, a relationship between two people is assumed to be of exclusivity to each other.

If I get involved with a girl, and neither of us says anything otherwise, I'll expect her to be faithful and I'll do my best to stay faithful. If any of us breaks that part of the "contract", it's over, no coming back, no taking breaks. There's no refunds on personal trust. I can be very chill and laid back about many things, but betrayal isn't one of them.

[–]frys180 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I know exactly what you mean. Why are we so bound by ideas like monogamy when our biology tells us to fuck every moment of the day? If we were monogamous by nature, as soon as we got into relationships, we'd be "faithfully hardwired." But that's not the case. Monogamy is normalized just like how drinking cows' milk is normalized. Were "supposed" to get milk from our mothers. Not a fucking cow. (Really wtf is that when you think about it.) Yet we scoff at other cultures that milk from other animals. Like dogs. Who would drink dogs milk? Crazy right?!? :|

[–]simkessy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

One of my best friends girl cheated on him a while back. Called me, bitching about the whole situation and looking for comfort I guess.

They broke up, good. But then a few months later, he's inviting her to his bday, she's at the parties he goes to (same friends) they're going out for lunch here and there. Her work sent her to LA for a while, she flew him in.

They're not together or anything but the fact that he's willing to spend anytime with her gives me cause for concern.

Thoughts?

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nothing you can do man. He knows its dumb but does it anyways.

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