Red Pill TheoryDon't blame women. Blame yourself. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

A man could dedicate a lifetime to combing the world for stories of women treating men poorly. Cheating on them, getting bored and leaving them, taking them for granted, pissing on and minimizing everything they work so hard to do, even the occasional physical abuse. If you take even a small fraction of those stories and read them back to back, you start to find yourself thinking that women are really shitty. How could anybody do anything like any of that to somebody who cares about them? It’s the epitome of evil. Even if they aren’t into someone and want out of a relationship, do they really have to be like that? You start to get angry. You start to mistrust women. You start to expect that from every woman you meet, even the ones who don’t intend anything like that.

After all, very few women actually intend to be like that. They just sort of get swept up in life, react to what’s happening to them, and “it just happens.” Whether “it” is cheating, divorce-raping, or being a selfish mega-bitch. That’s one of our tenets, right? All Women Are Like That. That doesn’t necessarily mean that all women are intending exactly that for you, right this very minute. Just that all women, given the right circumstances to react to, are capable of that.

Women react to their circumstances. They don’t mean to be evil. They just go to bed and wake up every day for two years and suddenly find themselves being a bitch to a man who loves them and takes good care of them. They react to their circumstances. You are one of the circumstances in your woman’s life. In fact, you control many of the circumstances in her life. You might say that it’s your job to control those circumstances.

She doesn’t know it’s your job to control the circumstances of her life and would probably be offended if she knew you thought it was, but deep down inside, she expects you to. If she’s bored, if she’s too comfortable, if she starts to wonder if she sold herself short, if she starts to get curious about another guy, if she starts to piss on you and take you for granted, if she stops wanting to fuck you eagerly – that’s because you’ve paved the way for her to do that. You failed at your job. You did not control the circumstances of her life in a manner that fosters a successful relationship.

Men act. They don’t react. Reacting is the woman’s role.

When your woman tells you to do something or fix something or handle something that, honestly, you really should have already done, fixed, or handled on your own, you are now the woman. You should have proactively noticed something that needed doing and taken care of it, simply because you keep your life in order and run a tight ship. If she notices the problem first and tells you about it, you are now female. You are reacting to something she has proactively acted to solve. Because in woman-world, it’s not the person who actually fixes the problem who gets credit. It’s the person who notices it and complains about it first. She noticed the problem and she fixed it by utilizing one of her resources – you – to get the job done. In her mind, she was the man who acted to fix the problem. You were the woman who reacted to her leadership and direction. You were a little bitch.

When you don’t escalate toward sex, you are now a woman. She might be horny tonight, she might not be, she might not be but still ride your cock because she loves pleasing you. But she’s going to sit there and play with her cell phone. She’s not going to tell you anything. If you let her dick around on Facebook all night instead of dicking around with your dick, you were her little bitch. You spent all day doing shit and keeping her ship running, and instead of insisting on getting yours that night, you let that little queen sit and feel pampered. You relegated yourself to the role of servant rather than king.

When your woman decides to shit test you by being a stupid bitch or trying to pick a fight, the only response – the ONLY response – is to not play her game. Even if your response is the best, most witty comeback on the planet and you feel awesome because you’re so Red Pill manly man alpha and you blew through that shit test of hers, guess what? You’re a woman. She acted, you reacted. She did something, you responded. She led, you followed. A woman’s shit tests aren’t something you stop and respond to. They’re a child throwing spitballs at a train. The train doesn’t even slow up. It has somewhere to be and something far more important to do than stop and clean the shit off of its roof.

When you’re out somewhere with your woman, and you sit quietly and react to others, you lose. You’re a woman. Your job is to strut around and engage people. Be the actor, not the responder. Even if you suck at it and everyone thinks you’re a boisterous asshole, that’s far, far better than being a timid loser who looks like he doesn’t have any friends or anything interesting to say.

It’s your job to make women feel entertained. It’s your job to make women feel safe. It’s even your job to make women fuck you. You control the circumstances of her life. If she wakes up one morning, kind of bored, comfortable, and not really into sucking your dick, it’s not because she’s an AWALT bitch. It’s because you’re one of those AMALT men. Most men are reactionary losers. But you can do better.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 178 points179 points  (2 children)

Its not that tigers want to eat men. Its just that sometimes they wake up hungry and see a six foot tall meat popsicle fucking about on his iPhone.

[–]flexiblehold 129 points130 points  (19 children)

Great post, but I have to disagree with one of the points. As a ltr veteran, the following is unequivocally false:

When your woman tells you to do something or fix something or handle something that, honestly, you really should have already done, fixed, or handled on your own, you are now the woman. You should have proactively noticed something that needed doing and taken care of it, simply because you keep your life in order and run a tight ship. If she notices the problem first and tells you about it, you are now female. You are reacting to something she has proactively acted to solve. Because in woman-world, it’s not the person who actually fixes the problem who gets credit. It’s the person who notices it and complains about it first. She noticed the problem and she fixed it by utilizing one of her resources – you – to get the job done. In her mind, she was the man who acted to fix the problem. You were the woman who reacted to her leadership and direction. You were a little bitch.

Fixing shit, being resourceful, etc., while a duty for men, is action not unlike responding to a text message, you must keep the woman at bay by not being too eager or indiscriminate with your action. For instance, snap-fixing any leaky faucet is like snap-responding to a text message, she will begin very quickly to take you for granted. In the case of being handy, women as nesters are perpetually, obsessive-compulsively looking for ways to improve their nest, and this means they will want to make BedBathandBeyond/HomeDepot runs every weekend, they'll want new sheets, new paint, oh-I-don't-know-about-those-curtains -- you get my point. You've got to attend to these nesting impulses, but with discretion and intelligence. It is very easy to be on top of everything and still have the bitch nag you about something else, she will always see something in her nest that needs improvement.

[–]TW_RPAwake 70 points71 points  (4 children)

Great retort; spot-on.

The work to do around the house proactively done by the man will likely never be noticed from the woman's POV. A short list:

  1. Cleaning the gutters on a sunny day
  2. Roof work (black-jacking loose shingles, killing moss, etc)
  3. Oil changes in the cars
  4. Keeping salt in the water softener
  5. Splitting the wood ahead of time so it is dry for next winter
  6. Tool maintenance

You get the idea. Men handle the kind of shit that women would only become aware of if we stopped handling it.

When the faucet leaks, or her car makes a funny noise, a creak develops under a floorboard, or she notices a spider web really high up on the ceiling, I acknowledge her complaint and then queue it into my priority list. Ill always triage the complaint promptly (especially for car noises). On occasion Ill fix it immediately (like if company is coming over). Other times it will get fixed in a few weeks. I own the decision where to let her "HoneyDos" fall into the schedule; and yes - on occasion Ill bump her work lower for no other reason than to make it clear that I dont operate at her beck-and-call.

[–]rygar_the_red 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is also how I handle things with my wife.

The things that need doing, they will get done by me in the order and timeframe I decide they need doing.

She needs to be aware however, that there is a difference between what she thinks needs doing (by me) and what needs doing.

[–]LunaEstObscura 4 points4 points [recovered]

that reminds me of that episode of it's always sunny in philadelphia where charlie meets another girl and the waitress' life goes haywire

[–]maximuslimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recent season? I really need to catch up.

[–]reddick1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

similar to the IT industry

[–]GASTON_TONNERRECOQ 28 points28 points [recovered]

Well said. This brings two Beige Phillip concepts to mind.

i; What do women want? More.

ii; Anything you do for her more than three times becomes an obligation.

In one episode, Dante helped his ex-wife get some perspective. He overheard her talking to one of her friends on the phone, saying "You still do laundry? I don't do that shit." She did not follow that sentence with "Because my man carries our laundry down four flights of stairs and over to the cleaners on the corner, pays for it, picks it up, and carries it back up four flights of stairs. I love my man, he's the best." So, sensing the entitlement, Dante decides not to do it next week. When she asks about it, he says "nah, you do it this week." She struggles getting it down the stairs and IIRC he ends up helping her bring it up the stairs because she got the message and it would have taken her several trips.

Responding to complaints and requests can be tricky. It's best to triage the problem, in mind with any others, and act accordingly. Sometimes the first mate sees the rocks up ahead before the captain does, but sometimes the poop deck is just a little grimy. If it is something only you can do and it's important enough, then doing it poses little risk of entitlement. However, if it's something that she could do herself and you jump on command, then you are her tool.

tl;dr. tell that bitch to take the trash out herself every once in a while so she remembers how to act right.

[–]bustanutmeow 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Is that from a tv show? I looked but only found a stand up comedy site.

[–]GASTON_TONNERRECOQ 1 points1 points [recovered]

it's a weekly podcast. http://beigephillip.com/episodes/

[–]april21st2011 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is this podcast an inception of the late Patrice O'Neal's The Philip Black Show?

[–]the_red_scimitar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do get your point, but I also get OPs. If it was an understood part of your own responsibility within the relationship, and you slacked off, then you put yourself in the awkward position of having damaged your own frame.

Simply put, a man must be judicious in the agreements he makes about what he will do, and be scrupulous about doing it. It's hopefully a wake up call when anybody else points out something you already knew you were supposed to deal with.

Hardly fatal unless habitual.

[–]BeautyQuark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Geek note Star Trek did a good job of showing this dynamic with Scotty and Kirk. Even though Scotty was beneath Kirk, he never allowed Kirk to dominate him.

Here is my take from my marriage. This is the role a man takes over his house. Traditionally, speaking the home is the Woman's domain, and the man has to fix problems. However, it is extremely important to remind the woman that the man is the master of his own life, and domain. NEVER allow a woman to emasculate you over your abilities. Walk away and go do something you enjoy if a woman ever makes an insulting comment over your ability to be a man, and let her know she can finish the job. Just don't do it in a butt hurt manner.

[–]marty2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this was a reference to guys being lazy and not doing chores, not about constantly doing home improvement. A man maintains his castle.

[–]choomguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct, don't be anyone's bitch. Op is a solve to pussy. Sure keep your shit in order, for you.

[–]monolithdigital 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how about you fix the faucet because you are the kind of guy who takes care of his house?

This isn't about every trivial whim that you should already have figured out, it's about not having to hear obvious things parroted back to you.

[–]Merica911 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think you're reading to much in between the lines.. What the OP is referring about, "Haven't been foreplaying before sex. Haven't really been socializing with my friends & family bc you're shy. Haven't really keep up with your hygiene; neck hairs & beer belly is something you're starting to have."

But girls would be with endless shit like; "We need to paint the bathroom walls lavender to match her seashells" bc she seen a IG post that inspire her. Let girls come up with girl shit, that's their job, it's going to happen, they're are humans too.

Just don't get to caught up in the logic of the OP. Look at the metaphor.

[–]Absinthe99 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because in woman-world

I think I've identified the problem here. OP lives in a "woman dominated world".

I'd say "poor sap" but really it's his own choice to live there... dude's a willing "slave" to pussy, basically he long ago handed his testicles over for her to place in her handbag.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 72 points73 points  (14 children)

Posted this before, but it bears repeating:

You have to be the rock. Let her storms rage around you. Don't react, at all. Or at most act amused. Reacting only plays into the game. Understanding that takes the onus off of you, and puts it on her. Which is where it should be. This is her drama.

[–]plentyoffishes 21 points22 points  (7 children)

Or, find women who don't have "storms". I have. This is not an example of NAWALT, just saying, being selective is the key to avoiding the major drama.

[–]pinakion 23 points23 points [recovered]

Exactly. I think a big part of a healthy relationship comes down to whether she respects you or not. Therefore, you have to

  • be a man worthy of respect and

  • choose a woman who knows a man worthy of respect when she sees one.

If one or both of these are absent from your relationship, you can only blame yourself.

[–]panzergling -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Or if you're not worthy of respect.

[–]xanthine_junkie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have been around many many years, dated much - loved once - married 25 years. Everyone has storms. My wife has less storms than most women by comparison, and I try to react less than I see most of my whiny male friends. You guys are spot on, but there are so many variances. Good stuff!

[–]2IVIaskerade 2 points3 points  (1 child)

find women who don't have "storms". I have. This is not an example of NAWALT

Pick one of these sentences.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends really. Being aggressive and confrontational can be an effective method for boosting attraction. I try to make sure that indifference towards me is never an option.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 56 points57 points  (7 children)

in woman-world, it’s not the person who actually fixes the problem who gets credit. It’s the person who notices it and complains about it first.

This is gold, and very true. I never let people take credit for my accomplishments unless I have ascertained it is wise to do so. Your woman is never your superior, so you should not let her take credit for your accomplishments. If she is your superior, be prepared for a shitty relationship, abandonment or to be cucked/used as a wage slave. That is female nature, it's not your fault they default to that - but you are responsible for your own strength.

Women will try to take credit, albeit with less conviction, whether they had to tell you to do something or not. What's yours is "ours," what's hers is hers. Her successes are hers "she's a strong independent woman," your successes are "ours" - "you wouldn't be able to conquer the world without her to come home to, to cook and suck your cock."

Women are very good at controlling the social narrative. They are the lore keepers in family. They remember all the bullshit that happened from years and years ago, and the intricacies of specific relationships. Of course they alter what happened with their own desired narrative. It's seems to be a female instinct. The ability to define the narrative with utter conviction. They try to do this in your relationship, should you have one, too. It's not malicious, it's just their nature. You are always at war, whether you like that notion or not. That's irrelevant. Your masculinity is always being tested, because, women are insecure and leech off a man's strength.

Women get status from their guys, part of that is, like an overbearing parent, taking credit for his accomplishments. Just like your mother will say "without my good parenting, he wouldn't be a lawyer" your wife will say the same thing "he couldn't do his high-powered job without me washing pots and pans at home." It's what women do. They take more credit than they deserve. Sure they help, but you wouldn't put the laboratory assistant who just cleans instruments on the name of a scientific paper. They are assistants, not part of the process itself.

Relevant: http://48laws-of-power.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/law-7-get-others-to-do-work-for-you.html

It doesn't matter how shitty women may be on an individual level or as a collective, it's male nature to blame himself and to want to see the best in women. I believe it's genetic. Google the "women are wonderful effect." Sometimes, personally, although my "beef" isn't emphatic with women, I feel I have to counterbalance against all this "women aren't that bad, you're the one who is the problem" talk.

Yes a lot of guys are the problem, they have a role to play, but so do women. If you play your role and she doesn't play hers, your woman is a cunt. Don't beat yourself up, don't keep "if only I were more like X" just walk the fuck away or get henpecked for the rest of your life stuck with a woman you've made yourself powerless to leave (don't get married.) Hyperagency and hypoagency, look it up.

We walk a thin line between "fulfilling our duties" and "not fulfilling our duties, eliciting the worst in women and then failing to see our own faults AND JUST blaming them for our own faults." No. You must be able to see when you failed, and see whether her failure is contingent on yours, or not. As a leader, you have more responsibility in the fact that, if you lead poorly, those you direct will perform poorly. BUT YOU MUST BE AWARE OF THIS: If you lead well, and they still perform poorly, that's not your fault.

The logic: "it's never their fault, if I had led well, then their performance wouldn't have been poor - is fallacious. And I have seen this in men, particularly married men, over and over again. It's easier to blame yourself than understand what the fuck is actually going on. And most men beat themselves up to the detriment of their own mental health in that manner.

I see this trap in male thinking all the time. Everything is always your fault. It's not that, she was raised poorly and has toxic friends/family/media influence or anything like that, and no matter how well you do - she will not perform up to standard. Where the only thing you are really at fault for is for choosing a woman of such poor breeding. No, you tell yourself that you're obviously weak and it's all your fault. That your inability to be hyper-masculine is why she is the way she is. That if perhaps you were more of a controlling psychopath, she'd fall in line. But that isn't reasonable thinking. And men easily become illogical when it comes to women.

A lot of the time the male is weak. Especially nowadays. We see that. But a lot of women are just fucked up beyond belief nowadays. We see that too. So are you the one that's fucking up, was she fucked up long before you met her, or is it some combination of both? Because you can't fix a hoe. You can't save a hoe. All you can do is do your part and if she is really damaged, all she can do is improve to a certain point. You can't undo her damage, so don't fall for the damsel in distress bullshit and try to be the white knight charging in for your girl.

If you're doing your bit and she's still being a cunt, you leave. If you're in some family situation where you can't leave, then well done, you're paying the ultimate price. Lifelong misery. You have fallen into the marriage trap of third wave feminism. You have yourself permanently associated with a woman who is a pure cunt and doesn't deserve you at your best. Because best or worst she'd not treat you right, making the attribution of blame completely irrelevant.

Women are given too much power by big government and cultural memetics nowadays. You have to be tactical in your dealings with them and not let them exploit your sense of self (your masculinity) into blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. Yes, you're a man, but you are also human. You are allowed to fuck up and you will. Just don't expect women or men who don't give a shit about you to be very forgiving of, or understanding of that. That's what your bros are for.

"The masculine gold standard" is, IMO, the reason so many men kill themselves. The expectations men place on themselves, and have placed on them overwhelm many men. And they have to bottle that shit up, because talking about it makes them "less than a man." There is some regressive thinking within traditional masculinity. You shouldn't be a pussy, but you can't sort your stress without psychological outlets. Trusted confidants (or a therapist if you don't have one,) punch bags, martial arts, contact sports, the gym, meditation - they're all your friends. If you don't have male friends you can show your vulnerability to when things are really bad, then you don't have any real friends. They're just there for the high times, like your girl.

[–]CryptoManbeard 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I view all the problems as my fault because, if she is just a crazy bitch, then it's my fault for keeping her in my life.

Either you're a bad leader or they're an unfixable problem. If the former, it's your fault for not being a good leader and you need to fix that. If the latter, then you are responsible for cutting dead weight.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If the latter, then you are responsible for cutting dead weight.

Exactly. This is something most guys don't see. They just self-blame and push themselves to ever higher standards of masculinity, figuring that this will solve everything. In a way, it's a "beta" mindset. That you must meet a certain level of masculinity in order to "keep a woman in line." To a degree, this is true. But it's as simple as: "be aware of what's going on and take charge." No more, no less. The perversion comes when you're already pretty masculine and on top of your shit but you're being sold the narrative by her and her sycophants that you're not (which is effectively a form of gaslighting) because she's insatiable and unappeasable. She's insane. And you're trying to jump through hoops. Be careful of these traps. It's hard to keep a clear head when you're stood on the page you're looking at. That's what advisers are for. Have trusted confidants.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 8 points9 points  (3 children)

If you're doing your bit and she's still being a cunt, you leave.

Is it enough? It's all too easy for a guy to start accommodating shitty behavior just to keep the peace. I say put them to the test, and do it early and often... That's how you make great hires at work. And that's how you find/cultivate a worthy woman.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good input. I agree with this.

[–]bustanutmeow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you care to elaborate how you go about putting them to the test?

[–]krakosia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Examples of how to put them to the test? Any further resources to learn more?

[–]LukesLikeIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only time a women will be secure with you is when they are secure with themselves. But almost no one, man or women, are.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (8 children)

Everything was good until:

"be a boisterous asshole in public"

The most confident alphas are usually the quietest and most composed. Boisterous assholes are usually insecure proles who grew up in genetic, intellectual and/or financial poverty.

Tall, well-built, masculine men get noticed and get respect without having to behave like proles.

"It’s your job to make women feel entertained. "

No, it's not. WTF am I a dancing monkey assclown? It's her job to make me feel entertained. That's why she was put on this earth, with her soft hair and skin and tits and juicy ass and wet lips. To entertain me and make my life more pleasurable.

The moment you start thinking you have to entertain some bitch is the moment you stop being the prize.

And I thought you had that down because earlier in the post you wrote to fuck the witty responses and just ignore all her shit tests.

Get big. Get ripped. Get silent. Don't ask. Fuck her hard.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

There's a good bit of middle ground between being a dancing monkey, and being that strong silent guy in the corner that still isn't getting laid because he's anti social but read on the internet that if he just gets a little more swole, he'll be beating off ladies left and right.

You have to approach, talk, try, escalate. But not tip the scales too far and start being eager to please and demonstrative for women.

When in doubt however, most internet Reddit nerds are introverts. So they should err on the side of strutting a little too much versus falling into the trap of sitting a little too quietly and being boring and non-social.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You have to approach, talk, try, escalate

In my book that's just being a man and it has nothing to do with being a boisterous asshole.

If you look good and are confident then all you need to do is run day game and the numbers and dates will come pouring in. Then you can dictate the when and where and make her dance to your tune on your terms. Meaning you don't have to waste your time dealing with retarded AMOGs and boisterous assholes in some "trendy" evening venue cause "girls just wanna fun" and hey--you're there for her entertainment.

The urban night life/mating ritual and coed parties/functions (unless business-oriented) are for drunken proles, dancing monkeys, sluts and attention whores.

No valuable, self-respecting man wastes his time taking part in that farce.

[–]Stradivorius 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"It’s your job to make women feel entertained. "

Like you said, theres no need to be a dancing monkey to entertain her. If you look carefully you´ll see that women are in fact boring as fuck. They dont have any hobbies, as much as they think that " going out with friends, shopping or listening to music"counts as hobbies, they cant hold a convesation that doesnt revolve around some reality tv bullshit or gossip about other peoples lives. Most guys have hobbies be it reading, coding, sports, assembling and painting model tanks, aircraft carriers, trains ,videogames, restoring cars and bikes,etc.The list goes on and on. Women are bored because they are boring. But we all know that they´ll never admit to that.

[–]c2wAccount 0 points1 point  (2 children)

WTF am I a dancing monkey assclown?

You have discovered the contradiction, but are missing the point.

Both men and women are two people: Future Me and Present Me. Both those people require satisfaction. If Present Me isn't satisfied (with, say, sex or ass assclownery) they will find it elsewhere. You don't have a choice, they will find it elsewhere.

Your expectation that women only value the Future Me ( "I'm the prize, bitch") is straight up solipsism: you want her long hair to entertain you, but are unwilling to entertain her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm 6'3, 210lbs, 8-9% bf, got a big black beard and bang the shit out of her (often times literally). That's entertainment enough.

Four years ago I was a 170-pound beanpole romantic beta chump. Then I got on the juice, went NOFAP, started eating till it hurts and hit the iron HARD.

Forty pounds, four years and about 70 vaginas later, I've finally arrived both mentally (abundance DGAF) and physically (top 5%).

I don't have to tell her that I'm the prize. She feels it deep in her loins.

[–]jonivaio -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like the way you wrote this comment. It resonates very well with me, personally. I'm on the same path that you are and knowing that only part of it is completed, compared to you, I found your comment inspiring.

Man, NOFAP is a hell of a drug! Discovered it couple years ago. I would say that it's the main catalyst for everything that a self improving man would want. Definitely in top 3 life changing musts (besides RedPill and lifting).

[–]Gunplayin 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's posts like these that put everything back in perspective. GJDM

[–]plentyoffishes 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Disagree. Don't blame women OR yourself. Just work on doing something to improve yourself today. Blame does no good, action is what matters.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You're probably right. Some guys are driven by blame. They realize that they suck and turn their lives around. Some guys get all depressed instead.

It's not really a question of who you blame, so much as you recognize your part you've played in your experiences and fix where you're failing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it's mostly being self aware enough so that you can take the most appropriate corrective action to improve your life, aka steering the ship away from the icebergs. I understand what you mean when you say "blame yourself". In psychology it translates to having an internal locus of control.

[–]WS6Grumbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck yes. Need to stop trying to understand women and just focus on being as good as you can be. The rest, I think, will fall into place. Just started this journey, will advise of results.

[–]Lightspeedius 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I suggest abandoning blame altogether. Everything has a cause. And all humans are evolved organisms doing the best they can with the resources they have available.

[–]real-boethius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Progress proceeds thus

  1. Blame others.

  2. Blame yourself.

  3. Blame no-one. Do what's best.

[–]topapito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Regardless of how much we all may want to disagree with Archwinger, he's right. And the bottom line is, he's right. Oh we fuck up, then we want to justify our fuck up by saying all kinds of bullshit, "she's a whore, she's a bitch". But you know what? AWALT!

It is always going to be up to us to decide how we live our lives, and acting like a doormat, read beta, isn't going to get us where we want to be. The fact is women don't like weakness and when you show them you can be weak, you are done my friend. Over, caput.

Accept it or suffer.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This concept needs to be hammered into every brain here. Half the hate that this subbreddit gets is a result of people seeing AWALT posts that are pissed at a girls because she got tired of fucking a lame dude. Of course she did. Shes fucking human. AWALT posts have been the most redundant part of this place. Equivalent of "OMG MY FISH DIED BECAUSE IS WAS TOO BUSY SPANKING MY MONKEY TO FEED IT.... WHAT AN ASSHOLE AFALT"

No shit sherlock

[–]malevolentmc 6 points7 points  (2 children)

As a newer user.. I encounter a phenomenon on this board. I read a post once, and I sit back and find myself at odds with it. Doesn't click.

But then, i'll shift away for only minutes, find myself back on the page re-reading things.

And then It makes sense. I'm not talking about coming to new conclusions with new info - just that lately I am literally experiencing TRP content in two lenses. My initial interpretation is a stark contrast to my final conclusion.

I believe those lenses to be the BP/RP metaphor.

[–]TW_RPAwake 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You make a very astute observation. If I may, here is where the trail leads:

Right now you are applying critical thought to new narratives which don't align with your programming. As your ability to think critically matures, the next phase is that you will look past volatile language which peppers posts in order to take in the entire message.

For instance - Someone uses the term "slut" or "whore" in a post. My BP-mind saw that, and immediately concluded that the poster was a butt-hurt misogynist. Through a critically-thinking mind, I read those words in full context of the message. Rather than falling back to the favorite argument fallacies of the BP; straw-man / ad-hominem rejections of ideas, I consider the intent of the message.

To round out the example - "slut" or "whore" isn't representative of the entire female gender any more than "dick" or "asshole" is representative of the entire male gender. To be a misogynist, one would have to consider the term to be universally applicable to females.

Awakening to this concept brought forward an understanding that we were indoctrinated in school more than we were educated.

[–]malevolentmc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you taking the time to write, thanks. I completely agree, this is what is happening.

[–]GayLubeOiI 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Even if you suck at it and everyone thinks you’re a boisterous asshole, that’s far, far better than being a timid loser who looks like he doesn’t have any friends or anything interesting to say.

False dichotomy (google it if you need to). You don't need to "strut" around to be a man.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I tend to overuse hyperbole.

[–]Merica911 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes and No. Tom Brady doesn't need to say anything when he walks in a room bc he's Tom Brady. Same with Brad Pit, same with Alex Trebek and same with Chris Brown.. But guess what, you're not them.. You're Joe-fucking-Smo and your at your gf Tough Mutter event with all her hot college friends and you would look spineless if they had to introduce themselves to you than the other way around.

[–]rpscrote -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

An extreme example with the common understanding real life use will result in a less extreme application

[–]Veganski 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the best posts on TRP, great

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"A woman’s shit tests are like a child throwing spitballs at a train. The train doesn’t even slow up. It has somewhere to be and something far more important to do than stop and clean the shit off of its roof."

Haha fucking fantastic analogy!

[–]SilentForTooLong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are way too eager to let women off the hook for being psychopaths...

A little bit of this advice is ok I guess. But god damn, it sounds like you want to just let women off the hook entirely as even being capable of being decent beings...

The rest of you put up with way too much shit from women. Maybe try treating them like they are capable of being human beings?

Maybe I'm just wrong. But as long as women are allowed to hold jobs, vote, own property, etc... I am going to fucking treat them like it.

[–]HeadingRed -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"When your woman tells you to do something or fix something or handle something that, honestly, you really should have already done, fixed, or handled on your own, you are now the woman."

That's was a tough one for me to admit to myself awhile back. Good post - you have to own your own shit if you want to be a leader.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Women fit the container they are placed into.

We often try too hard to "figure out" women like there was some fixed target to look at. But in reality women are like water and shape shift themselves to fit the container they exist within.

Accept that the State has intruded on our desire for a proper container and made something like Marriage 2.0 an impossibly bad deal. It's like a cup with a hole in the bottom.

Game is knowing that women only get Tingles by experiencing a stronger Frame than themselves. Be the Container, be the Frame.

[–]bigmfkr 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The concept is very good, but blaming yourself (or anybody else) is not a good idea. I'd guess that a lot of reforming betas here on TRP struggle with depression, and blaming themselves would only make it worse.

I agree with the idea, but the title should be: "Don't blame women. Take responsibility for yourself instead." Much more constructive this way.

[–]byebyebluepill 0 points0 points [recovered]

We don't need to be nice or soft on people. We aren't making a safe space for soft little betas to be soft little betas.

When I blame myself, I don't dwell on it. Instead, I take the opportunity to figure out what not to do next time.

[–]bigmfkr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right, we do not. Still, your behavior as you describe it is exactly what I said - taking responsibility and not continuing with the blame. It's a fine line, and you're on its right side. Many people are not.

[–]Echelon64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't blame women. Blame yourself.

This should be the sub's motto.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I can't change the world, but I can sure as hell change me.

[–]RationalistFaith1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very proactive but upon discovering TRP, I use SMV and RMV to better myself. Yes the girls come and go, but the girls I attract now are a few points higher than I could ever image, and I ain't stopping!

Change yourself, change the world!

[–]henry-jest 0 points1 point  (1 child)

When you’re out somewhere with your woman, and you sit quietly and react to others, you lose. You’re a woman. Your job is to strut around and engage people.

Ok, but what if someone is introvert, and dislike small talking?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then they're not going to be very successful at doing this.

[–]workdavework 0 points1 point  (0 children)


What is this?

[–]Iamthegre 1 points1 points [recovered]

wow.. this place is full of frustrated guys.. with nothing better to do but rant...... good article though

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Think about us losers when you're out treating women like people and getting laid left and right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Is this not a bit hypocritical coming from the creator of /r/femalehate?

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Just because I hate women doesn't mean you have to. Have an original thought.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

You don't make any sense, it's amazing and sad that people take you seriously

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Guys who take themselves too seriously are no fun and never get laid. Loosen up a bit. Let this red pill shit and your mission against it go and just have some fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I have lots of fun! I can get laid just by walking outside because I'm in shape and have huge tits.

I don't have a problem with TRP, but I do have a problem with you and your hypocritical ideas that you only make up so an internet community will like you. You're not even consistant about it, you just want the attention.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Nobody should listen to me.

But that's the state of the world. That's how unhappy, desperate, and lost so many men are. You, your close circle - that's not the kind of person who ends up here. The men who are suffering are invisible to you.

[–]Senior ContributorOmLaLa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm shocked that it took me so long to come across this wonderful article.

This is one of the most well written, in-your-face posts I've every read. This article deserves all of the attention it has received. We'll done.

[–]wtf_is_taken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact is, this sub in it's essence is about self-improvement. Unlike what the SRS people think. The point is to control and change yourself because in the end that is all we really have control over.

[–]mllrhgn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a lion does not care about the opinion of sheep

[–]Raigek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such bullshit. Women aren't dumb drones, they have their own responsibility.

You are obviously misunderstanding the difference between taking your responsibility as a man and was is asked of a women. Women too, are accountable for the stuff happening in their life.

[–]peragrine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are not responders. That is completely not a helpful point to be trying to make. You begin with saying that people should not put all women into one category, and then you end with trying to put women into a different category. Women take charge in many situations. When a man does something to help someone that asked for help, he isn't "female", he's just being a decent person. Women don't always need help with everything. They influence people are are influenced by people. It's not so black and white.

[–]fancypants_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How do you act when a women brings something up? Will it always be a reaction no matter what?

[–]awzor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Validate her for being percipient. That way you will keep captain/first mate dynamic. You will do what she needs but still in your frame. In LTR she will love you for this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't believe in shit test anymore. They are simply stupid and if you can handle that they will be even more stupid. Its that simple.

[–]Tiraloalbote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This rant doesn't need pronouns. Swap "women" for "men" and "men" for "women" and you end up in the exact same place. Treat others well and do your best to be excellent to other people. The rewards are unmatched.

[–]OilyB -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm going to not entirely agree with this. Women never know boundaries to men who serve them. You give them a finger etc. I think what's more important is to generally be the moral leader so as to inspire what's 'normal' in your household. No, your problem can't be fixed right away, I'm going to prioritize it so it'll get done when it's next in line. A woman who will start disagreeing with that on a regular basis can get the fuck out my life. Abundance mentality and all.

Firstly, I'll choose a woman who won't act like this on a daily basis but mainly on events where she's clearly the lady and I'm the gentleman. Then I'll gladly take care of the whole evening if necessary.

Secondly, it'll be my direction, not my goal to become a man like that. I'll pick a lady who's mostly capable of appreciating me and the relationship as is. But most importantly: a lady who's worth going through some trouble for, because she adds value to my already productive daily life.

Nagging about decoration too much, next. Bitching about broken stuff a lot, next. Dissatisfaction in general, 'the fuck out. I ain't got time for more kids around my house. I'm not somebody's frikkin Handyman or babysitter, fcol.

Edit: words

[–]krakosia -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great post. Brings to mind the light tower analogy. You are the light tower, women around you are the ships in rough seas. You provide the direction and guidance around which they will get centered.

[–]ankit0912 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is a post which neatly fits with the evolutionary programming of females. They can't really do much work themselves (I'm a programmer and have rarely seen a girl write a line of code herself) but when it comes to taking credit, something seemingly unimportant also becomes relevant. I remember telling my mom about something at my uni and she went "If I hadn't arranged a tutor for you to learn to drive, you'd never go to the uni"

Good Solid Post /u/Archwinger, we need more of these posts here. Oh BTW you could consider posting some stuff to /r/Gyana - a Sub which I founded to discuss Indian masculinity.

[–]epixs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree as well. As a man you are responsible for all the things in your life and the girl who's in it with you is just along for the ride in your life.

That's where I sometimes feel a conflicting of opinions about the whole "your responsibility to entertain her". What if I just don't give a fuck at all and my entertainment is enough for her. She see's me passionate about something and entertained and through that she is fulfilled.

I believe acting as a clown or entertainer for a women is a waste of time and rather be going about my own life and doing whatever I feel like will progress me towards a better life.

Great post as always.

[–]pbgswd -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I will try to do better, every day.

[–]648262[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do or, do not. There is no try.

It doesn't matter who wrote that, it still applies here.

[–]Vigilo_Infinite -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Steller write-up Archwinger. Makes perfect sense and puts the concept of frame in a new light.

[–]the_red_scimitar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I believe that until one really has integrated this into their being, they haven't actually unplugged.

[–]CbrWombat -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Waaaay too much fucking work, man. And for what?

[–]thewrightstuff88 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When your woman tells you to do something or fix something or handle something that, honestly, you really should have already done, fixed, or handled on your own, you are now the woman. You should have proactively noticed something that needed doing and taken care of it, simply because you keep your life in order and run a tight ship. If she notices the problem first and tells you about it, you are now female.

I don't agree with this on the basis that it gives off the notion that we essentially need to read a woman's mind in order to act first and prevent any negative reactions or actions from women. Thinking from the perspective of a human being, being this proactive can create an incredible amount of stress in a man and can even take him off the path of his own personal goals because he has to be on his toes all the time to make sure his woman doesn't react to anything. Now, of course, things can go wrong once in a while and that is what frame and confidence is for and if she isn't down for the ride she can leave yet this kind action is asking a man to be perfect in his interactions with a woman.

Women will always find a way to argue about something because it creates drama and is emotionally stimulating to them. Why are shows like keeping up with the kardashians among other reality shows so popular? Because women enjoy watching the pointless drama that adds nothing to their life other than excitement/sadness/any emotion really.

A man could do everything right, entertain her, make her feel safe, fuck her, stimulate her senses if you will, but eventually she will grow bored, become used to it all, and want more, because with women, nothing is ever enough. Just look at the stories such as when billionaires get divorced. Taking the notion that they were being used just because they were rich out of the question, take notice to the woman's behavior when in court. She will get millions in alimony but STILL want more. She could have enough money to last her 5 lifetimes but its not enough.

I am only interested in improving myself, reaching my goals personally and professionally and if a woman isn't down for that ride, she can move along.

I will read this post as something from a "perfect world" because as a man, it isn't feasible, because of all the secondary interferences and reactions that can occur from it, the sheer amount of stress it can induce upon a man to be so active upon keeping his women satisfied, and the unpredictability of women.

[–]someguysomewhere321 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Don't blame women. Blame yourself.

I really don't think men should blame themselves for living in an emasculated society that taught them to put women on a pedestal and act like women themselves.

Traditional alpha males don't tend to fare well in modern society either due to an emphasis on subordination and political correctness.

[–]NidStyles -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's an evolutionary mechanism to diversify the genetic landscape to prevent any one singular trait to become a weakness for the entire tribe/populace.

There is no use getting mad about it. It's a part of human survival.