tl;dr OP dates a chick for three months. Early on she puts up LMR, asking to 'take it slow'. OP agrees. Three months in, he finds out from a friend she's fucking someone else. OP confronts her. She admits it. OP turned to the sub for advice.
The facts aren't all that interesting. We've seen it happen plenty of times before. What's interesting is the sub's reaction to it.
Firstly, we see the overwhelming response is to dump her. In fact, out of all top-level comments, only one suggests staying with her, and it's sitting on -7, the lowest in the thread.
Secondly, any suggestion of the woman being in the right is poorly received. TheMomerathOutgrabe, Chilling_Music and Stembio all end up downvoted for their comments. Furthermore, they approach it from a hesitant, 'technically not wrong' perspective, with lots of fogging:
Yeah.... I'm not saying what she did was fair to him.
Devil's advocate... I'm not necessarily defending her, but this MIGHT be where she's coming from.
Furthermore, their approaches are based around their locations.
where I'm from, it's ALWAYS assumed that people are going to be dating/fucking around until the "let's be exclusive" conversation happens.
Of course, it comes out that these people are in San Fran and NYC, in the heart of it.
Thirdly, there is an awareness of the AF/BB divide.
This isn't about obligation, it's about comparing yourself to the other lover and realizing that she likes you a whole lot less. you're a wallet.
Dude if she really was into you, she wouldn't be interested in anyone else, especially not this early when it's still honeymoon phase. I don't know why she feels to need to play you, maybe she likes the attention or maybe you make good money... Either way she's not really that into you.
You're listed in her phone as "free dinner."
She's holding out for a relationship with him, he doesn't want one and is stringing her along just like she's stringing you along. You're her fallback plan in case he ditches her
You are her planB and she clearly does not think much of you (no offense) I say dump her and move on.
She is using you for free dinners.
So you get to buy Her dinner and he gets to fuck her? Lol bail dude
I wonder if one of the reasons that it feels slimy is that it feels like she thinks you're the "nice guy" who may be marriage material so she's pretending to be a "good girl" who waits for sex. But the fact that she's sleeping with him makes it seem like he's sexy to her and you're not. Yuck. Hold out for someone who really wants you.
This'll hurt, but let me give it to you straight: She wants a relationship with the other guy, he's content with banging her without the commitment and she's keeping you on hold as 1) leverage to use against him and 2)a fallback when he moves on. The thing is, when he does ditch her, and she starts dating you, he'll be back and she'll just cheat on you. Move on, nothing for you here except disappointment and pain.
There's also this interaction:
TheMexican007: She was stringing you along, you were her safety net for when she got tired of fucking the other guy, she could just fall in with you.
Mongfight: *when he got tired of fucking her
One person even mentions it by name:
I generally don't like the whole seduction alpha thing, but
Alpha fucks, beta bucks.
Seems like she is trying to rope you in for a relationship (security, maybe resources) while getting it in on the side.
Dump her sorry ass and don't look back.
this post just screams beta. stop getting cucked without even the benefit of getting your own dick wet. cut off all contact and move on.
Fourthly, we begin to see some backlash against sex-positive feminism.
When someone asks 'who in their right minds thinks it's okay', he gets this response:
My guess is the "sex-positive", super "liberated", third-wave feminist, female college student type. Whoring around while in a relationship with someone else, how "empowering". You'll notice the type in some of the comments on this thread.
There's this salient comment:
Dude, if you're looking for commitment...then don't date sluts.
Does this indicate a 'rising up'? I don't think so. Rather, these are opinions that have always been there. TRP just says what everyone else thinks.