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Rant/VentingWe're here for the unhappy losers (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

Something we often brush aside here at The Red Pill is actually one of the main reasons people are so quick to declare this entire body of information to be a pile of bullshit: Most men out there have some sexual success and end up married. Very few men die virgins or never find a wife if they really want one. Even unattractive, “beta”, loser guys get the occasional lay, have the occasional girlfriend, end up married, have a little sex, have a couple of kids, then die. It’s disingenuous of us to proclaim that only Red Pill men have sex, while all loser beta bluepill pansies are all celibate laughingstocks. Loser men still have some sex.

Instead of focusing on the sex, it’s important to focus on the real issue: happiness. We don’t prioritize ourselves, improve ourselves, educate ourselves on the new, modern rules for how male-female interactions work, and do all of this Red Pill bullshit just for sex. We do it because we want to be happier, sexual success being one thing that makes a man happy. Red Pill men are, generally, much happier than losers. Your average chump doesn’t have a lot of success with girls growing up. He might have the occasional girlfriend, might get lucky sexually, but by the time he’s in his 20s or 30s and is thinking about marriage, he’ll marry the first girl who agrees to date him (probably just the first, second, or third girl he’s ever fucked). He doesn’t know any better. Girls who agree to date him are a rare find. Hard to come by. Better not pass one up, or he might actually be alone forever. This loser man has never really been happy before, so he has no metric by which to determine whether marriage to a particular girl will make him happy or not.

This isn’t the girl’s fault. Let’s be honest about women. While it’s getting much, much worse, most women (at least women my age), average about 5 sexual partners before marriage, not the 10-20 (or more) we preach. (That number’s going up with each generation, though.) Still, most women enter marriage with generally good intentions. The trope of a 29 year old slut whose age is starting to show, only settling down because nobody wants to fuck her any more happens, but most women aren’t that extreme of a case. Women who marry are still kind of mildly doing that sort of thing (e.g., “I’m 26, want children, am sick of dating assholes, and need to get more serious, look at a man’s job/income/stability, and push for marriage”), but it’s not some massive attempt to game the system. They really want kids and a successful marriage, and really don’t understand why marrying someone who’s good on paper but not sexually attractive to them is doomed to failure. They don’t get it.

When you’re a woman (e.g., someone for who opportunities for sex come easily, regardless of how much or little you avail yourself of them), it’s hard to think of sex as a big deal. Marrying someone who will take good care of you long-term seems far more important than marrying someone you actually want to fuck. And unfortunately for the girls, guys that they actually want to fuck who are also great, faithful, long-term partners interested in marriage are hard to find. Because guys who are swimming in a lake of eager pussy aren’t generally interested in cutting the ride short and marrying an average girl.

But despite all the horrible stories we hear, many of these women don’t divorce or cheat on their men. Some do, but many never will. They just stay in mostly-unhappy marriages and live a lifestyle they couldn’t afford on their own, while having as little sex as possible with their husbands. Just enough to grease the wheels. They see it is a chore, and less experienced women actually think it’s normal to not desire sex with their husbands. Which leads them to see nothing wrong with benefitting from their husbands’ labor while never fucking him. After all, if it’s normal and everyone’s doing it, it can’t be wrong.

However, as much as we theorize about women and their romantic lifecycles, The Red Pill isn’t really about women. It’s about men. The problem with a loser man marrying a woman who isn’t thrilled at the idea of fucking his brains out on a nightly basis isn’t that the woman is benefitting unfairly from him. Sure, that’s not “fair,” but what do we care if a woman’s benefitting unfairly or not? I don’t care about her. I care about her husband. This loser man is going to spend the rest of his life unhappy. But he’ll never know it. He’ll think that this is just how life is. He’s never had multiple women competing to ride his cock. He’s always been desperate for a date, denied sex, and genuinely believes that having any woman willing to marry him and have occasional sex with him is an amazing blessing. When you’ve never really been happy before, you don’t realize how unhappy you are now.

The trope of a pussy-whipped husband begging for the slightest whiff of once-a-month sex from a wife who doesn’t desire him is so entrenched in society that we see it in sit-coms. Most men end up unhappily married to women who would rather read a book or watch TV than fuck them. They work all day supporting households, come home and do at least 50 percent (or more) of the house work (because if you don’t, you’re a misogynist), are always thinking of their wives and doing things for them (because you should never stop dating your wife and making her feel special!), but for the 27th night in a row, she goes to sleep after her backrub (or maybe just pretends to sleep to get out of sex), and her loving husband goes to bed disappointed again, but thinks this is normal. Deep down, he knows he’s not really happy, but he’s completely oblivious to how soul-crushingly unhappy he truly is. How beaten down and eaten away his soul has become.

When your very purpose – your very role as a husband or boyfriend, or as a man in general – is denied and cast aside as useless and unwanted, what are you? I submit to you that many of these poor, loser men in unhappy marriages and relationships, even though they’ve had a little sex, are in fact virgins in a sense. These men are going to die, never knowing what it’s like to have sex with a woman that actually wants them – that is burning with desire to fuck them. No agenda, nothing to gain, just sex with him, because she wants it, because she just respects and admires him so damn much that she can’t keep her hands off of him.

Stop reading for a second and take a moment to really think about this point: These men will live their entire lives, working their asses off, then die, never knowing what it’s like to have sex with somebody who actually wants them.

They went right from that awkward first time in high school to a few more times with a girlfriend trying to rope them into engagement, to married having once-a-month shitty duty sex with their nagging wife. They’ve never had real sex. They’ve never had a woman desperately want them. They’ve never been respected, admired, loved.

That’s the real crime in the modern dating-marriage scene. I don’t care if women benefit from a man’s labor. I don’t care if women piss all over unattractive men. I don’t care if manginas support women in these efforts. But there are unhappy men out there who are going to die, never knowing the sublime joy of actually being wanted, as a man. They’ve worked so hard for it, tried so hard, and yes, done a whole lot of shit wrong in the process, and they’ve never been happy. They don’t know what they’re missing. If you ask one, he’ll tell you he’s happy, has a loving wife, a couple of kids, a decent job, a house he can barely afford but it makes his wife happy. His wife nags the fuck out of him and keeps the marriage going with a trickle of duty sex once every 4-8 weeks, but he thinks that’s normal. He thinks that’s happiness. Deep down inside, he knows he’s not really happy, but he doesn’t know what to do. And he’s going to die before he’s ever really happy.

The Red Pill is here so that guy can find it.


[–][deleted] 145 points146 points  (24 children)

Contrary to the mythical yesteryear where we had a real patriarchy and men were in charge, happy, and good, society's always cared primarily about women and valued their safety above all. It's deeply engrained in us. The harshest, worst thing that a little boy can feel is that he's actually making the girls unhappy. When parents, teachers, and feminists come to him and say that, all he can think about is how he doesn't want to be mean to them and he wants them to be happy.

Feminists figured that out and they've been using it to manipulate and abuse men for about a century. That little boy wants the girl to be happy more than he himself wants to be happy. When feminists say this kind of thing to males, it triggers a very deep primal feeling for men to change everything about their behavior and put their needs on hold until the women are safe.

The red pill's a massive point of view shift where tell men to stop thinking that way. It's an absolute shock to a man's system when he finds the red pill and learns that his time matters. "Wait, those six months I spent orbiting that chick were valuable? I could have gotten something for that?" A man realizes the time he's wasted, the happiness he's given away, and how stupid and frivolous his sacrifices were. The red pill's not aggressive. We don't go out and harm women, we just stop focusing on them. We get what every woman wants: the dedicated passionate service of a man who wants us to be happy and who's committed to our well being and happiness above all.

That's why red pill men become happy. There's a reason that women try to hard to get that out of a man and it's a damn good reason. When you feel your muscles pump for the first time, earn that big paycheck, and feel the fruits of your labor pay off, you've gotten something better than sex. Sex emerges from it but the journey really is the goal. It's tragic that so many men die "virgins" but it's even more tragic that so many men die never getting that commitment that a red pill man gets.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (3 children)

society's always cared primarily about women

Oddly enough in my studies of history, I find it's cyclical, we go through periods where men put women on a pedestal, and then it's treat them as slaves, then it's pedestal again.

I wonder why? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

An interesting non euro-centric example of this is chinese taoist sexual practice, they go from a period of sexually pleasing your partner(equal), to a period of a woman is no more than a stove for cultivating your own sexual energy(object), to a period of you should be sleeping with beautiful women without children (pedestal), to to a period of you should only sleep with 14 year old premenstrual girls, girls 14-18 are lesser, 21-25 the worst, and let's not speak of 25+ (object).

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

The more I learn the more I realise: 'there's nothing new under the sun'.

[–]I_Am_My_Own_God 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They aren't kidding when they say, "History repeats itself."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (5 children)

That little boy wants the girl to be happy more than he himself wants to be happy. When feminists say this kind of thing to males, it triggers a very deep primal feeling for men to change everything about their behavior and put their needs on hold until the women are safe.

That's basically because he has been taught that this behavior will make him happy.

[–]bowie747 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Look, I never thought that putting women first would get me laid. I did genuinely think it would earn their respect though. I believed that was what they wanted. I believed that would find me a wife, not a fuck buddy, and that it would pay off shortly after high school. Nopenopenopenope

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You believed it was the necessary thing to do to get what you wanted : marriage. Why marriage? Because you thought it would make you happy right?

[–]narazz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm a 34 vig here i thought the same thing

To be honest 7 years ago i was actually sort of depressed over never getting a family going and finishing college. I look at the friends i had that did that and really only one of em is extremely happy but the rest are just miserable. think i dodged a bullet there haha.

[–]Luckyluke23 5 points6 points  (1 child)

feminist have taken the " women need to be safe" thing to the EXTREME i mean... the world today isn't THAT bad for the western women ( 3rd world is different) though where feminist is more prevalent it's rampant.

if a women wants to do something in this life she can. why she needs to put a man down to get it is beyond me. once men figure out they can get it too WITHOUT a women. they will be better off!

[–]Helmut_Newton 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i mean... the world today isn't THAT bad for the western women

Most western women have no real sense of history. Thus, they are unaware just how pampered, coddled, and catered-to they actually are.

[–]mister_barfly75 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We don't go out and harm women, we just stop focusing on them.

Divorce was one of the best things that happened to me. I learnt that while I could enjoy the company of a woman, I couldn't rely on women to make me happy or content. Only I could do that.

I only found TRP 3 years after the divorce was finalised. I dread to think what I would have done if I'd had access to the knowledge here while it was in progress.

[–]Senior Contributorcocaine_face 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We get what every woman wants: the dedicated passionate service of a man who wants us to be happy and who's committed to our well being and happiness above all.

What a fantastic summation of TRP.

[–]darthskids 6 points7 points  (4 children)

That little boy wants the girl to be happy more than he himself wants to be happy. When feminists say this kind of thing to males, it triggers a very deep primal feeling for men to change everything about their behavior and put their needs on hold until the women are safe.

I'd feel sorry for guys like that except I'll bet they're the same annoying shits that keep proclaiming that it's never okay to hit women. If a guy like that is going to be a bitch and let women walk all over him then he gets what he fucking deserves.

[–]Ibex3D 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah except he' was brainwashed since he was a boy. How do you not pity someone who has been lied to their entire life?

[–]darthskids 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would I?

Shitty things happen to all kinds of people all the fucking time. If I had to feel sorry for every person that had something bad happen to them I'd never see the end of it.

[–]Tricky_j 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That guy was me maybe 2 years ago? I was just a walking floor mat for women because I was brought up to put women on a pedestal and the whole "happy wife happy life" mentality from my stepdad .

I had a really weird relationship that lasted 2-3 months that really opened my eyes to my own faults and why I had relationship issues as I took the stance of "I'm a nice guy why don't women like me?" i was really unhappy before my realization on why I was going about women completely wrong. I've only joined this sub maybe a couple weeks ago but reading things like this, (albeit from strangers on the internet)have reinforced everything I learned about myself looking back and over the last two years breaking barriers and enjoying great relationships and bettering myself.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Stop reading for a second and take a moment to really think about this point: These men will live their entire lives, working their asses off, then die, never knowing what it’s like to have sex with somebody who actually wants them.

Should've bolded this sentence, it deserves the emphasis. This whole article is fucking gold, but that's the main point, right there.

We don't automatically deserve to be loved, to be respected, to lusted after, but we are born with the chance to earn these things. Don't ever let anyone steal your chance at them by offering you a helping of tolerance for you to settle for.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 39 points40 points  (7 children)

All relationships are transactional ... there is something we want from the other person.

What I find most striking about the modern Western female is that they seem completely oblivious to what men want or need. Moreover, generations of Feminism have taught them that those male wants/needs don't matter. That they are entitled princesses, and men are idiots. Women used to understand the necessity of feminine charm ... but that seems to have been thrown out like a baby with the bathwater.

It is true, in that sense, that the greatest value of TRP comes from teaching men to value their own happiness, their own wants, their own needs. Not only "being the prize", but truly seeing themselves as one. And depedestalizing women in the process. Despite all the ire aimed here, it is simply a leveling of the playing field.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

What I find most striking about the modern Western female is that they seem completely oblivious to what men want or need.

They know damn well what men want and need. Men want sex and they have it. Women have turned every single interaction into a shit test and after a beta's failed those shit tests, they turn it into sex-based bullying.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 13 points14 points  (5 children)

I think they have an inkling, but I also suspect many modern women have a very limited understanding of what men want or need, beyond the caricature that we are simply sex-crazed brutes. They really don't understand or appreciate the male experience of life ... it is part of their solipsistic nature.

They assume that their experience is the same as ours, when in reality it is fundamentally different.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Solipsism comes into play in that they can't see the reality of men's lives. They don't see the legitimate struggle, the accountability, the hardships, the pressures, or the accountability. The themes that define a man's life and experience are completely foreign to women. Solipsism does not come into play for basic shit. Women know when they're orbiter doesn't like them as just a friend. Women know when men are thirsty. Women know when men are in an unhappy mood. The trivial shit is obvious to them. They sniff it out in a second and zero right in on it.

Women's power in society is covert which means they need to rely on methods that allow them plausible deniability. Playing stupid one very potent way to do this. "I thought he just wanted friendship! I thought he was just trying to be nice. You mean, he wanted me to sit there and drink the drink he just bought for me with him??!!?" It's an act that they don't know what men want. The act lets them not deliver but still keep men on the hook by not seeming like they're just denying it to him. That's why they (rightfully) believe they can get away with all this stupid shit; they know the trump card they've got.

Don't believe it for a second. Women know damn well why you approach them, what you mean when you speak, and what you're after. Acting like they don't is a kind of shit test. Culture says XYZ's a norm, she's not obligated to Q and ordinary people speak like R. Are you the kind of man who's gonna let that dictate his action? Any beta who speaks like R in order to XYZ is impossible for her to respect and the reason for that is because she knows damn well what's going on. Never believe that women are clueless about these things. You can overtake them but you cannot deceive them.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Women's power in society is covert which means they need to rely on methods that allow them plausible deniability. Playing stupid one very potent way to do this. "I thought he just wanted friendship! I thought he was just trying to be nice. You mean, he wanted me to sit there and drink the drink he just bought for me with him??!!?" It's an act that they don't know what men want. The act lets them not deliver but still keep men on the hook by not seeming like they're just denying it to him. That's why they (rightfully) believe they can get away with all this stupid shit; they know the trump card they've got.

Exactly. After having been there myself, I got a lot more sensible towards occurences of friendzoning. All but one of the girls that pulled that shit were on some level aware of what the guy wanted (some have come forward only to get rejected, others were still "waiting for the right moment"), and nevertheless decided to keep him in their orbit. And the one who didn't still contemplated the idea to take advantage of the guy once she got wind that his offer to invite her to a concert wasn't totally innocent.

I have a lot more respect for women who, once they know the drill, cut a guy out of their life than I have for those who think they have to string him along in the name of friendshipTM .

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the worst of my BP days, I orbited a chick for several months. Unlike most orbiters, I asked her out immediately so she knew the drill. I was actually as about as committed as an orbiter could get so I did it again and again every few weeks thinking women liked that shit. In my case, she overtly knew the drill with zero plausible deniability. It was still a textbook orbiting though complete with hope, juuuuust enough physical contact to keep me around but not more, and "I thought all you wanted was friendship!" The only way that knowledge can change nothing is if they all know all along.

[–]epixs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. Most women don't understand what it takes to be successful. As bill burr stated, they actually become jealous when you focus your attention towards becoming a better person who will be more likely to succeed then to just focus all your efforts on the next date.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think they have an inkling

No, it is willful ignorance.

Once you've explained what you want in clear and simple terms and not received it, it can no longer be passed off as ignorance. It is then willful. You make reasonable requests, ask politely, explain the situation. And nothing changes and it's like you're just wasting your breath.

In my half-beta days I used to talk things through, on the basis that it must be a misunderstanding. Eventually I twigged that women just don't, won't or can't listen to anything said to them logically by a man.

So... I don't talk shit through with them. If I don't get what I want, I tell them what to do. If that doesn't work I bail. Tried it their way (talking) and it didn't work. Now doing it my way, works much better.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

[–]Meninismx 4 points5 points  (7 children)

I never relate to this kind of thing - I haven't experienced a correlation between non attractiveness and sexual willingness or desire.

[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Meninismx 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Oh, so it's as simple as you're more attractive to the 6 because your frame is stronger than it is with the 8?

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      This is why introspection is touted so much in this space, when you are able to introspect and see your past and current experiences through a red pill lens, then you can understand the WHY of why things did or did not work out.

      It makes it easier to have a sense of closure and be better prepared in the future.

      What did you say or do to break up with her? I honestly think one reason why we have a high divorce rate is because of men and women marrying that lack that desire for each other.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Great response and I thank you for it. It sounds like you know what and where you went wrong. I personally would have denied her break up sex, since that is something more about her than you. Women want break up sex because that is how they find closure. However, that is NOT to say that men do not do break up sex either. Some men have sex one last time with her before informing her that it is over.

        Sex post breakup benefits her more because it provides her with the closure she needs.

        I also think it is not wise to share a workplace with a SO for an extended amount of time. It's a personal choice though. It works for some, but not others. My reasoning is that sharing a workplace, you see each other all the time and can run out of things to talk about.

        Also breaking up and having to work together sucks.

        [–]5p56x45 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        "All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone." -- Jean de la Bruyere

        [–]Exothermic_buttsex 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        Some people just don't naturally desire human interaction to the healthy level needed to maintain a social life and find happiness. In short, maybe you are just born a loser, and it's to society's benefit that you stay in that role and keep your head down cause "the right girl" will come along and all of a sudden your life won't suck. In reality that girl will just use you in exchange for pretending to respect you, but really you deserve none and that truth will come out in the long run.

        This is where I was headed before The Red Pill AT BEST. It's also possible, if improbable, I would've been one of those my little pony 40 year old virgins. And contrary to that popular Steve Carrell movie, I would've been a fat, short loser that not even a post-wall CC rider would want to rescue.

        Now I've gotten to experience genuine respect and desire from women in a way Id given up on experiencing. I'm getting oneitis for my 6 current gf admittedly, but it's an improvement.

        People who hate on TRP can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned. Cause none of their kind words and half-truths did me a bit of good. It took some real, brutal honesty to wake me up. And for that I'm enternally thankful.

        [–]Surf_Or_Die 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        A great analogy to this autopilot behavior. The men don't realize that they are unhappy because they are on autopilot. Every day looks essentially the same. They wake up, go to a job that they hate, come home, watch some millionaires throw a ball around, drink a beer and eat some unhealthy shit food. If you look in their eyes you see that there's no presence. It's like looking in the eyes of a dead man. The soul is gone. The inner fire is extinguished. They accepted their lot in life. Little by little they get fatter and more complacent and then they die. They might as well die today, they stopped living for the moment a long time ago.

        Notice how these are the same people who buy all of the social conditioning that they are brain washed with. You go to to high school, after high school you go to college, you work for 40 years, get a watch and then you die. Good drone. Another brick in the wall. Not happy? Must be because you don't have a wife and kids. Get married. Choose republican or democrat, don't think to hard on your own, and the biggest one "one of these days I will do X Y Z, when everything is right". Everything will NEVER be right fucker, start living in the NOW. As Seneca put it in "On the Shortness of Life" “They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.”

        Never fucking autopilot. If you catch yourself autopiloting, as we all do from time to time, rattle the cage. Do something out of the blue. Book a weekend trip, go out after work, fuck shit up. Just do something completely out of the ordinary. Make sure you're EXPERIENCING life, not just living it. You'll quickly realize whether you're happy or not.

        [–]cordlc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I've never considered myself unhappy, hell I'm quite sure I'm more content than most (which itself might be a problem), but it's scary how fitting that description is of my life.

        [–]BrunoOh 12 points13 points  (4 children)

        guys that they actually want to fuck who are also great, faithful, long-term partners interested in marriage are hard to find

        That's pretty much the male unicorn.

        I do feel for these bitches sometimes.

        [–]Reavver89 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        I think many red pill men would fit this description, though likely still a minority. I've always been an ltr dude, and my current ltr sees me as that unicorn.

        Only 6 months in though, I'm treating this one as an experiment. I've been straight talking her a bit too much, but so far she's only been amazed and grateful for when I call her out on her bs instead of deflecting.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          That's partially because women don't tell men what they want (sexual and social dominance).

          They tell men the exact opposite. It's like a giant shit test.

          [–]Hennez 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          This is one hell of a post.

          There's no other possibility but to agree. TRP is about making winners out of losers. There's nothing wrong with being mistaken but everything is wrong deciding not to do something about it.

          Instead of focusing on the sex, it’s important to focus on the real issue: happiness. We don’t prioritize ourselves, improve ourselves, educate ourselves on the new, modern rules for how male-female interactions work, and do all of this Red Pill bullshit just for sex. We do it because we want to be happier, sexual success being one thing that makes a man happy. Red Pill men are, generally, much happier than losers. Your average chump doesn’t have a lot of success with girls growing up. He might have the occasional girlfriend, might get lucky sexually, but by the time he’s in his 20s or 30s and is thinking about marriage, he’ll marry the first girl who agrees to date him (probably just the first, second, or third girl he’s ever fucked). He doesn’t know any better. Girls who agree to date him are a rare find. Hard to come by. Better not pass one up, or he might actually be alone forever. This loser man has never really been happy before, so he has no metric by which to determine whether marriage to a particular girl will make him happy or not.

          That is the core of the problem. And it's perfectly described in this paragraph. I find it very reminiscent of the "Allegory of the Cavern" mentioned by Plato. That's exactly what you are saying. And that's just how it is (I was there but managed to dodge the bullet).

          A great insight.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          I'm of a mind that no man should ever follow advice from a woman about relationships and if she's a feminist he should probably do the opposite.

          For women, having men like them is an entitlement. It's something she doesn't even think about because she doesn't have to. So when she talks about what women "like" in a man it always has to do with the "extra" things that make a woman like a man that she doesn't actually like.

          The question should be rephrased, "What attracts a woman to a man she doesn't find attractive?"

          The scenario you describe whereby women have pity sex with husbands to grease the wheels of hypergamy is, in my opinion, prostitution. To debase oneself for profit in a field that is beneath you is the very definition of being a prostitute.

          I don't blame women entirely for this, but I think that collectively women have contributed to the majority of it.

          I've said before that I'm not here for sex. I'm here for me. I want to be happy and for the first time I'm seeing what I hope is the light at the end of the tunnel. I've only been here less than two months but I work out daily now. Already I'm seeing the results as my pants sag and I feel my clothing rub in different areas. I feel muscles that I've not felt in a long time.

          All this is a phenomenon I call, "Getting lumpy".

          Just the other day a girl at work commented that I "looked cute" and then she put her hand on my deltoideus and squeezed.

          But more than that I feel better. I actually want to work out. If I go to bed and I haven't worked out I feel like I've missed out on something important. It's like the night before going to an amusement park when I was a kid. I can't wait to get up and start doing pushups and yoga and running. At work I do about 250 pushups throughout the day now. I hope to get that number up to 1000 eventually but right now I just increase the number of reps per set by 1 to 5 each week. Those little improvements have a huge psychological affect.

          Anyway, I've deleted Facebook and I've cut back drastically on 9gag and I spend a lot of time reading TRP and the sidebar and I listen to audiobooks (like 48 laws of Power) while I work.

          I don't know where all this is headed, but for the first time I'm not dreading the travel.

          [–]Godtiermasturbator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          This post gives me chills. Fucking A dude, right on. I'm so glad I found the Red Pill. It saved my life. I should post about that some time. It articulated thoughts that I couldn't put into words, but suspected were true about how the world works. And has given me things to think about that I never considered, to give me a clearer picture of how people interact, so as to give a better framework of how to act in order to create my own happiness. Thank you OP, and TRP.

          [–]NeoreactionSafe 13 points14 points  (6 children)

          Hard to imagine.

          I was fortunate to have had women hot for me from a young age. In fact, at 54 years old I'm just finally starting to become "invisible" now.

          Much has changed since the Free Love Era when sex was sort of a political statement whenever it might otherwise have been boring. It was always something dangerous just because it broke the Patriarchy.

          But no one expected things to go so badly.

          Women and men honestly believed that Free Love would be the new reality and when Hypergamy appeared in the 1990's it was a shock.

          Would I go back to the 1970's with Free Love?

          Maybe. Given what I know now I might have enjoyed it less. One enjoys that sort of thing the most when you think it will last forever. (we were so naive)

          At this point I'm ready for the Misandry Bubble to collapse, not much left of this era.

          (it has literally been "played out" full pun intended)

          [–]Steve_Wiener 3 points4 points  (3 children)

          "When hypergamy appeared in the 90's"

          -implying it hasn't been around since the beginning of time

          -implying women aren't whores

          [–]NeoreactionSafe 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          The Free Love Era was about destroying the Patriarchy.

          Women got high on the rebellion itself. ("What would daddy say if he knew?")

          It was called the Sexual Revolution.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_revolution

          It was only after that got boring did women realize that there were other more exciting things to do. (like passionate sex)

          I lived through that time period. Anyone younger than about 45 would have no knowledge of that time. I'm 54.

          And actually I was at the very end of it. The best Free Love was with people who are now 60. (about six years older than me)

          "Make love, not war."

          (having premarital sex was an anti-Vietnam war protest political statement)

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_Love_Not_War

          Make love, not war is an anti-war slogan commonly associated with the American counterculture of the 1960s. It was used primarily by those who were opposed to the Vietnam War, but has been invoked in other anti-war contexts since.[1][2] The "make love" part of the slogan often referred to the practice of free love that was growing among the American youth who denounced marriage as a tool for those who supported war and favored the traditional capitalist culture.[3]

          People were either Hip or they were Square.

          Women wanted to have sex with Squares because they were seen as the Patriarchy that supported capitalism and the war effort. So you could actually be a guy who wasn't a hippie and get sex because the women saw it as their mission to convert Squares.

          Once the Vietnam War was over there was no reason for women to have "revolutionary sex". (1975)

          https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Vietnam_War

          [–]Steve_Wiener 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Interesting, thanks for the insight.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I think he wanted to use the term "was unleashed" instead of "appeared".

          [–]Endorsed ContributorLastRevision 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Women and men honestly believed that Free Love would be the new reality and when Hypergamy appeared in the 1990's it was a shock.

          I do believe that the kind of hypergamy we're refering to here first appeared in the 1990s, and I think it took-off full force in the mid-2000s, now with each passing year widening the sexual marketplace gap..

          but with that said, how would you characterize the 1980s SMP? That kind of middle zone where divorce was still frowned upon, but pre-marital sex was an expectation of dating.

          [–]NeoreactionSafe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Yes, in the 1980's there still was some lingering connction to the idea of "dating" and committed relationships. Women were still generally of the feeling they would marry and have children.

          There were still fathers.

          Women who have actual fathers tend to see family in a more positive light, so their expectation was family, not the Cock Carousel like now.

          Remember that women showing underwear was illegal on tv back then. (Victorians Secret) The moral codes were such that you couldn't and didn't see bad behavior or overly sexual images.

          Just about everything on tv today would have been illegal in the 1980's.

          [–]Gettingaware 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Thanks for this archwinger, i usually find your post as a good read, but this one hit me hard. I cant help but feel for my father, who is one of these unknowningly unhappy men, and sadly im one of the losers you talk about. i wish i had something to add.

          [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          honestly i was more happy when i lived in a fantasy world and deluded myself into thinking that if i was there for women i would receive the same treatment in return. physically and mentally feel better but im not as happy and i know that i probably wont reach the levels i was before i had an awakening

          [–]sozzZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Awesome post. Really hit home. Fuck being taken advantage of by a fat, lazy, entitled whore. Never.

          [–]mkopec 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Good post. Shitty thing for most men is they they will never find TRP and fuly swallow it and embrace it unless some shitty thing happens to them, AWALT, when they go searching for answers and stumble here by accident, like many of us did.

          [–]DirtyPossibilities 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I 'stumbled' here because I saw some feminists complaining about it. Thanks she-bros.

          [–]slutnip 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Good article, you are actually spot on everything. Especially about not every girl is a CC rider. Some get off quick and want the disney fantasy. Most guys that post here, these girls wouldnt even appear on their radar.

          Its the whole "Water Seeking its own Level" conundrum.

          Most of the guys I know, are blue pill and see it just like you posted it. They are married, deep down miserable, etc Their wives probably dont cheat on them (I have met women that do... typically these are the former CC riders or girls that never got it out of their system) and will stick it out with them to the end because thats the way they are.

          With that being said, I know guys that are red pill, love their wives and have great marriages. Theres even a couple I know that have been together for 20 years, have kids together and never married. The woman even said if she had gotten married to him, she would be divorced today... (Something to think about)

          [–]Limekill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I remember going to a non existent friend's (he is real, but we don't hang out any more) bachelor party. Most of the guys there were married.

          It was like a funeral, and most of the guys spent their time complaining about their wives. It was weird as hell. I was like if you hate it so much fucking leave... or get tail elsewhere... But they are trapped in a 9-5 rut.

          [–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          fantastic post man! this is what the red pill is about!

          though a lot of my friends are getting married and I kind of feel sorry for them. that life is boring as in. everything is an event.

          once they get married and the " honeymoon faze" is over it's boring, once they ( they married coupple) pop out a few kids they have done there " duty to the world" so to speak. Now they have to look after 2 snotty nosed kids and thats boring as shit.

          what comes after that? 10 years being married? hardly anyone makes it there.

          I really do feel sorry for my friends... though when they end up divorce and hit " rock bottom" ( it's different for everyone) I'll be there with them in the pub trying to forget his past 5 years with him

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          What I value most about my red pill awakening is that I now know AWALT. They are solipsistic, self aggrandizing imbeciles. Every last one of them without a modicum of humility or deference. The thing that is so egregious about feminism is that it provides a template for these vile but necessary creatures to escape the yoke of submission. It's like a woman will clearly never be capable of love but her dependence on a man's resources will at the very least ensure that she's quiet and respectful. Now we have career cunts beholden to no one and the situation is societally untenable. The force of law no longer allows us to bring these fully grown children to heel and for me, that is the ultimate solution that has to be attained by all men. The redpill gives us enough hocus pocus to cow these sluts if only for a little while.

          [–]MidlifeAwakening 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          It's depressing to recognise so much of this as my life's experience pre TRP. At 52 I'm under no illusions that my best SMV years are behind me but having found TRP around two years ago my marriage is now significantly improved. I've built genuine desire and attraction and my wife now respects and admires me and enthusiastically fucks me. I'd like to think that I am no longer an 'unhappy loser'. Better late then never I suppose. If this changes then I have no fear of going it alone whether it be at 55, 60 or beyond. I try to keep in mind an inspirational quote from Rollo's blog: "You can change your programming and you can live a better life no matter your demographic, age, past regrets or present circumstances" For those of you that found TRP whilst your best SMV years are still ahead of you be thankful.

          [–]Kewl_Kid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This is possibly the best post I've read on this sub. The story of a lonely, unhappy man probably resonates with most of us. It's how we started out (or possibly still are) to varying degrees. It's what led me to discover TRP.

          More than that, this post embodies the value of TRP. It's a real, uncensored examination of our society. There's no exaggeration, elitism or bullshit. It just looks at things for how they are. We're all just trying to become more satisfied with our life. It just so happens that in today's society, a big part of men's unhappiness is a lack of real lust and intimacy from women which both genders are responsible for.

          [–]Complecs 1 point2 points  (10 children)

          I'm gonna say something here that has the potential to mess a lot up for me in the future. I'm 24 years old, married 8 months ago to the woman I lost my virginity to. I'd always been a nerd, but got lucky being 6'3 with broad shoulders and not too bad of a face if you ignored my ongoing problems with acne. I'll spare you the story of my relationship, but as one could guess, it's been riddled with ups and downs, RP and BP, confidence and jealousy.

          I love my wife, i'm not attracted to her anymore. Shes not out of shape, shes very pretty, submissive, kind, loving, blah blah. We don't have much sex, not because she turns me down, but because I literally just dont have the desire to fuck her anymore. I want to fuck other women, bad. I get sick at the thought of dying with only having fucked this woman. I'm attractive, a leader, sparsely funny(although I have a lot to work on socially), I do interesting things and I know interesting people. I get attention from women everywhere now, all the time. Women smile and wink, wave, some even blatantly touch me, its weird and extremely frustrating. I want the freedom to be the man I didn't know I was before I found TRP, lifting, and love for myself. But now being 8 months married to a really great girl, any guy who really just wants to be married to someone couldn't ask for a better wife, I don't know what to do. I feel trapped. I want to cheat, but I dont want to destroy this woman who has done nothing to deserve it. I enjoy her company, I enjoy going to sleep next to her, watching shows with her, cooking with her, and when we do fuck I do enjoy absolutely dominating her. But we don't fuck often, and that's because of me.

          So anyway, this rant has gone on long enough, but I know I'll get some brutally honest advice here, in this thread that was seemingly written for me to find, the guy whos been reading trp for almost 2 years and went ahead and got married anyway.

          [–]sinfulmentos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Sounds like you need some competition in your life. Dread game goes both ways. You only know what you've got when its gone.

          I agree with what the others are saying though, you can introduce the idea of threesomes to her, or even "open relationship" or "lets take a break" and having The Talk. But honestly, even if you guys don't go through with anything, the notion alone will damage your relationship. Since I know that I, along with many here, would instantly lose respect for a partner who brings up this kind of discussion, I don't think it would be unheard of for a RP woman with her head on her shoulders (assuming that's what she is) to think the same thing. So tread lightly. While I don't believe in "the one" or putting a woman on a pedestal, I think if you've decided that you want a longterm relationship and you have a good thing going why ruin it? But on the other hand if you can probably pull a similar girl in the future, why lock yourself down now? You have every right to end a relationship for your own happiness, you have every right to taste as much pussy as you goddamn want before you decide you want to settle. But if you succumb to your cheating impulses and want to have your cake and eat it too and hamster it out you're no better than they are. In fact it'd reflect even worse on you since a man should know better and have the self-discipline.

          [–]norstar1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You cheat on her or break up with her when she's being a good wife, then that's on you bud. I'm all for calling out shitty female behavior but you sound like a horny dude willing to be a bad guy. Shouldn't have gotten married if all you wanted to do was be a rabbit.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Eradicate the stigma of "cheating" from your mind. There's no such thing as cheating, not like you think. Your "cheating" is if you grow to despise your fit, pretty, submissive, kind, and loving wife. It will lead you to divorce her and break her heart. It will, if you let her prevent you from what you desire.

          So here's what you do: slowly introduce her to the idea of bringing some other women into the mix. Maybe she's involved in it, probably she's not; all you need to do is plant the seeds in her unconscious—but do it, you ungrateful bastard.

          How does being married "keep you from" the unchecked hedonism you so desire?

          [–]drlancesweets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Didn't the woman in "Dirty Sheets" do something similar to what Complecs wants to do?

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]Complecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Maybe, some want to debate the morality of it and that isn't what I'm all that worried about. It's clear in my mind that I have already made the decision that I want to cheat, my problem is that I don't want to get caught and deal with the consequences essentially. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to hurt her, and the words "for no reason" keep wanting to come out after i write I dont want to hurt her, but that is just my own hamster trying to trivialize the importance of sex. We all know how important it is. This is just one of those things where if you go in you can never come back, and being freshly married, well damn.

            [–]trphardmode -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

            Figure out a way to explain RP concepts to her, explain to her that the only way you will be happy in the relationship is to have some plates on the side. You need to make sure she understands how male and female psychology differs such that a man having women on the side is not the same as the woman having men on the side (having a man dominate her makes your relationship weaker and weakens your bond, you dominating a random slut doesn't necessarily). Come up with a set of rules for your excursions that will make her more comfortable with them (you won't be looking to form emotional attachments, just sex, you will always wear protection with other partners, get regular STD tests, etc). My wife likes me referring to my plates as my "bar sluts" to cement that she is the only woman I actually love.

            One word of warning, this can ruin your relationship - and to have a chance of it working you need to be willing to walk, but if you play your cards right and know your wife's psychology well enough you have good odds. If you really can't be happy otherwise, it's worth the risk.

            [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

            You could do that.

            Instead, you'll use euphemistic phrases like "wouldn't it be interesting to bring another woman into the fold" and "maybe a little variety [for me] would be nice", and perhaps you'll even involve her in games of hottie-spotting in public venues.

            Or you could explain male and female psychology and relationship bonding and emotional attachments, if you want to sound like an autist.

            [–]trphardmode 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Your advice is good to get a kinky girlfriend interested in threesomes, not to get a boring but good wife willing to stay at home knitting while you're at the bar. Also the quality and quantity of women that you can get to come back to your place for a threesome with your wife is much lower than what you can get solo IME.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I don't know what exactly would work for him. I do know that he's too immature to "just get over" his impulses, and he'll lose a perfectly good wife if he doesn't make it work somehow.

            [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Great article, very positive in a way. Agree with most of it.

            most women (at least women my age), average about 5 sexual partners before marriage

            Err... no. Can't see it. Can't believe this is their true, actual, number, including all the boyfriends, ONS, the accidents, the "I was looking for validation", the "it was a mistake" and all the "it doesn't count". Your age is either young in which case times have changed, or older in which case they've had plenty of time to get laid like groupies. No, not 5.

            [–]mediamole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Another good Archwinger post.

            I truly wish there was a better way to reach those guys. Hell, I used to be one of those guys, but am now living a radically happier life.

            It's a tricky discussion with friends. It's hard even in a target-rich environment like r/deadbedrooms, where I tried and was beaten by blue. Even this sub can be tough for newbies, especially with the PUA and anger posts that sidetracks many.

            Hopefully they will learn, but for most the best we can do is pour one for the homies.

            [–]bigmfkr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Maybe they deserve it. Because, for sure, they did see the same women, maybe even their wives, truly desire other men. TV celebrities. Rock stars. Those popular high school / college guys named Chads. Their bosses.

            Yes, the pill is right before their eyes. But you need to have them open to take it.

            [–]nuc22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I had a dream about Archwinger yesterday night that I havent seen his post on TRP recently and voila! here he is

            [–]tenok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            This is exactly what happened in my last LTR of 2.5 years - I took her out on dates, was romantic, we had sex, but i never felt like she really wanted me as a man.

            The exception was a moment when I was so pissed off at her that I genuinely stopped taking her bullshit and ignored her excuses, effectively becoming an alpha in that moment - and when she then tried to have sex, I could tell that she was looking at me differently. She was aggressive, forthcoming, and visibly lustful - such a contrast to her usual self when it came to sex that this memory has since stuck out like a sore thumb.

            When a girl tells you that she "doesn't know what's wrong with her" or that "its not your fault, it's me" when you bring up the topic of LTR sex, its bullshit, whether they're aware of it or not. She just sees you as a beta, not an alpha, and isn't sexually attracted to you.

            [–]holytrpbatman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Lol! I had a marriage like that, a couple years after dead bedroom began, I started giving myself the 'hall pass'. 9 years later I get a text that divorce papers have been filed, as I'm crossing South Dakota with a (much younger than the ex) stripper. 6 months later, divorce is final, she gets the house, I find a new house, do what I want, whenever I want, and live a very happy, productive life. Funny though, all the girls at work want me to 'find the right one' and try that pointless shit trip again... I laugh, smilre nicely and say "No, I'm never doing that again, my life is way too good this way".

            edit: spelling errors

            [–]pavista 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            most women (at least women my age), average about 5 sexual partners before marriage, not the 10-20 (or more) we preach.

            I don't know about that. Even fairly 'innocent' girls often have way more than 5 sexual partners.

            [–]Easih 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            he's mixing what women tells him and actual reality.

            [–]rundownweather 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I'm going to write a book about that. Thanks, OP.

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              [–]franklyforthright 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Agreed hypergamy by nature is being a slut for the top man and every women is like that. Add destructive culture and you have your modern whore... I mean women

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                              [–]Donald_Fuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              I'm sorry for fan-girling out but you are hands down my favourite contributor. Thank you so much man.

                              [–]6ix_ 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                              God, it really pains me to type this, but I sometimes genuinely wonder if there is any hope for me. I'm 19 and still haven't gotten even so much as a kiss from a girl. I'm not the type to claim I am an alpha (yet), but I always wondered how blue-pill, traditional betas get girlfriends and yet I don't. And then I wonder if I will ever get better. I feel almost as if I'm some weird anomaly.

                              [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                              There are guys who take charge of their lives at 50. Yes, after 50 years of loserdom. And end up happy.

                              If you're serious about becoming badass and finding happiness, you have lots and lots of good years ahead of you.

                              [–]6ix_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Thank you friend, you don't know how much that means to me.

                              [–]norstar1 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                              Men are definitely at a disadvantage when it comes to romantic happiness. We are, most of the time, required to be the suitors and give attention. To have it the opposite way is rare, and more often a product of multiple snatches getting wet at how much you make, your fame, etc.

                              There's a reason the number of partners before marriage is going up-- getting the attention that they want is significantly easier for women due to the advent of social media, less restrictive ideas on sexual norms. Men, however, are stuck to the usual task of earning attention. Better to say "fuck this" and make women crave your attention, and to ignore their cries for attention. Only way for a better, more happy life in the long run