TLDR: Beta male engages in gangbangs with his wife, allows his wife to cuckold him with Chad
We've been married 3 years but have been living together as a couple for about 11 years. We met right after high school, became instant best friends and were each others first significant relationship and sexual partner.
My guess it that means he was a virgin and she wasn't. She probably also sucked a lot of cocks in high school and slept with a few guys that are "insignificant" AKA "don't count".
No real complaints but if anything we might have gotten a little too close and comfortable around each other, like an old married couple that knows every story and anticipates every reaction.
I bet that means he allowed her to fatten him up to make him a better beta provider. He failed to give her dopamine rushes and excite her.
We'd always been open about our kinks and decided to try out threesomes a couple years back to spice things up, it was with strangers at first and then friends as we got more comfortable. Everything was fine, it was just something we did for fun 2-3 times a year and it did bring back a lot of the passion but everything got really fucked up this last time.
Threesomes (MFF) or gangbangs (MFM)? My guess is his kinks were something mild like a little bondage, while her's were gangbangs, and she hamstered in her mind that since they were exploring each other's kinks that the two are somehow equivalent and therefore hubby should allow her to fuck other men.
The guy (friend of a friend we'd known for just a month prior)
Let's call him Chad.
was too shy to preform around me and was visibly distressed about it so I decided to give him some time to adjust, I went in a different room and gave them space. I didn't expect it to bother me but it kinda did, I could see them getting along really well in the days after and that just made it worse. I got snappish when she talked about or texted him and asked her not to meet him without me around after she mentioned getting lunch with him. She wanted to do another “threesome” with him and I dragged my feet but she set it up anyway then told me he still needed more time, aka it was just going to be the two of them again. I swallowed my pride and said nothing but snooped her phone while they went to it, I found out they'd been meeting for lunch regularly (after I'd told her to stop) and had sex several times at her workplace.
Next morning I confronted her about it and she wasn't really apologetic, she just told me it was no big deal but when I pushed her about it (and we argued quite a bit) something broke, all of the sudden she wasn't sure she still loved me. Said she felt something with him she hadn't with me in a long time. I couldn't deal with it all and told her to leave, luckily her parents lived nearby and we don't have any kids so that wasn't a problem.
So Chad and wifey manipulated hubby into leaving the room so the "threesome" turned into private 1-on-1 primitive fucking while hubby jerks off outside the door to her moans when Chad got his Thundercock up and fucked her brains out.
Now she's an alpha widow because she realized that beta hubby disgusts her (he has so little respect for himself that he allowed himself to be cuckolded.) He disgusts her so much, in fact, that after some trickle truth, she admits she doesn't love him anymore and has cheated on him with Chad.
After a month of separation, resentful shouting, remorseful texts and crying, she still doesn't think she loves me anymore but wants to come back to our life together and “see” if those feelings come back. As far as I know the other guy left the picture immediately, she did try to get with him after (and hid that fact for a while) but he didn't want any part of our drama.
She leaves hubby for Chad, but surprise! Chad won't commit. OP says that as far as he knows, the other guy "left the picture immediately". That's some more trickle truth right there. In reality, during that month, she banged Chad quite a few times but he won't commit because he knows what kind of girl she is: not LTR material. She doesn't cry because she feels bad about what she did to OP. Remember, she was unremorseful and unapologetic. She's crying and remorseful because she's scared of losing her beta provider when her plans to turn Chad into a provider failed.
I don't know what to do or how to feel myself, it's all happened so fast. Part of me is happy to have her back in any form but I also feel like I've been cuckolded and walked all over. Without her I was sad but I felt strong and resolved for finding someone else, now I just feel weak and find myself doing/saying anything I can to please her. If I could snap my fingers and have my old girl back I would but I don't know that I can ever look at her or myself the same even if this trial period work out.
Talk about a severe case of one-itis. He still believes in the Disney prince/princess happy fairy tale ending so he's going even more beta than before in order to "win her back". She's an alpha widow now; damaged goods. Fortunately, they don't have kids so he might not get divorce raped if he cuts his losses and bails now.
tl;dr: Had what I thought was a perfect "adventurous" relationship but a threesome got too serious for her. I felt cheated on and she got confused, says she doesn't feel the same about me after but wants to continue living together and to see if the love comes back. I'm heartbroken, resentful and confused as what to do.
She wasn't confused bro, she knew exactly what was going on. Chad gives her the tingles and you don't. His title ("11 year relationship (29M/29F) nearly broken after a threesome got out of hand") shows that he still doesn't get it. It didn't fail because of the threesome; the threesome was a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself. Your relationship failed because you were too much of a beta. Open your mouth, it's time to swallow a little red pill we have for you.
Lessons Learned: Same old shit. Hypergamy is AWALT, don't get one-itis, don't get married period, don't commit to a slut, beta behavior disgusts women, get in shape and lift.