Red Pill TheoryYou might never get your revenge (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]x2

This post is for everyone who is pissed off because they got fucked over. Yeah, you. Still deep in the anger phase. Read carefully if you ever want to get out.

It doesn't matter who did you wrong, but seeing as this is TRP, it was most likely some girl who you're angry at for whatever reason. Maybe, like me, it was your wife who cheated on you, raped your bank account and deserted you. Maybe you were deployed, and when you returned stateside your woman wasn't there any more. Maybe you were trying to fuck some girl but a better man got to her first.

But it doesn't have to be about a girl. Maybe your parents, who are supposed to love you and care for you, weren't there for you. Hell, maybe some fuckface stole money from you and there's no way you can get it back.

There are a million different ways you can get fucked over, and not all of them are TRP related. But the key in relation to this post is this - someone did you wrong, and it seems like there's nothing you can do to get even. As a result, you probably feel a seething hatred for someone based on their mistreatment of you, and the fact that - short of breaking the law - there's nothing you can do.

The desire for revenge is powerful and innate. For men in particular, our sense of honor and justice can lead to an almost unstoppable explosion of moral outrage and righteous indignation. Problem is, in the vast majority of cases there's not really any satisfying or appropriate way to deal revenge to your enemies without making your own life worse in the process. At best, you'll just invoke more retaliation from either your target themselves, or the targets friends and family. At worst, you'll get yourself a criminal record or incarcerated.

If you go looking for advice as to how to deal with this sense of incredible anger mixed with total helplessness, common wisdom (read: bullshit) will placate you with sayings like "the best revenge is a life well lived" or "cheaters never prosper" or "what goes around comes around" or "you reap what you sow" or any of the hundreds of idiotic image macros that you can find anywhere like: This or this or this.

Even here at TRP, many of us like to rely on the concept of The Wall as a device to ensure that those dumb young sluts who treated us wrong or refused to be our perfect unicorn girlfriend will eventually get theirs. Eventually, she'll hit the wall, be too ugly to lock down a man, and die lonely and uphappy! Hah! Suck on that, bitch! Who's laughing now? HAHAHA!

The problem with this is that its total bullshit, because you know what? A lot of those people who fucked you over - in fact, maybe all of them - are going to go on living relatively happy lives. They'll never be punished by God for their sins against you. They won't suffer because of the injustices they committed against you. That money the dude stole off you? He spent it on a really cool watch that he likes. He loves that watch, and you'll never get your money back, and he'll never be punished. That girl who cheated on you? She cosied up to a tolerable beta male, got the ring, had 3 kids and lived a relatively happy life, dying of old age surrounded by her grandkids. On her deathbed, she thanked the Lord for her blessed life. She doesn't even remember you.

The point of the post is this: if you have this idea that the people who fucked you over owe you something, or that they will "get theirs", or that justice will be served - you are falling victim to what is known as the "Just-world fallacy".. From Wikipedia:

The just world fallacy is the assumption that all noble actions are eventually rewarded and all evil actions eventually punished, and that there is a universal force that restores moral balance.

Knock knock, Neo. Life is not fair and the just world fallacy is just that - a fallacy. Sure, you got scorned. Someone did you wrong. But if you're hell bent on being angry and seeking revenge, you're only hurting yourself. If the only way that you can sleep at night is to dream of the comeuppance that will oh-so-surely be justly delivered to the object of your anger, you are going to die disappointed because its very often the case that cheaters do prosper and what goes around does not, in fact, come around.

The key is to focus your energy on learning how to just walk it off. By all means, take whatever action you can to right the wrong. I'm not suggesting you just always "turn the other cheek" like you're some kind of modern day Jesus, in fact I think that's a good way to have people walk all over you and make you miserable. I'm saying that when all avenues are exhausted, and there's nothing else you can do to right the wrong, or when righting the wrong is going to cause you more harm than good, you need to learn how to just suck it up, shrug your shoulders and walk away.

Seething with anger and dreaming of righteous comeuppance is extremely unhealthy and totally pointless. If you find yourself doing this often, you need to let it go for your own sake because the odds are that nothing bad is going to happen to those who have wronged you, and you're only hurting yourself. Especially seeing as you're focussing all your energy on what the other person did wrong at the expense of trying to focus inward to explore how you can become a better version of yourself, which is the path that leads to true satisfaction.

Yes, you got fucked over, no, it wasn't fair, and yes, she's a fucking bitch. That's it - that's as much satisfaction as the world is ever going to give to you. So get over it.

[–]squarehead93 174 points175 points  (37 children)

Great post. The hardest pill of all to swallow is that life isn't fair.

I think a lot of us here start off swallowing this pseudo-redpill that's little more than glorified PUA. A lot of us here still write this fantasy where it all works out in the end. Yeah, learning that almost everyone in our lives lied to us about how women and human sexual dynamics really work can be devastating, but don't you worry, if you work on your Game and boost your SMV, you'll all be the multimillionaire owner of your own startup business, spinning 30 HB9 plates at will, and if you ever get married, it will be to some younger, hot submissive virgin girl from a foreign country who hasn't been americanized and only wants to fuck you and cook you breakfast. Meanwhile, all those sluts who used to reject you while getting fucked by all the Chads will grow old and lonely and fat and surrounded by cats. Everyone lives happily ever after, right?

The Red Pill is supposed to hurt. I know that learning about how the SMP actually works hurt, but not like it should have, because deep down I think we all know it's true, we just deny it. If that's all there were to it, we'd just adapt and thrive, right? The real hurt comes from realizing that, as you brilliantly put it, your ex who fucked you over will probably live a happy enough life and not even remember you. The real hurt is realizing that no matter how much you lift or how much you develop your game, there's always going to be the guy who's richer or taller or better looking or just naturally smoother who doesn't need to work nearly as hard as you do but still gets more girls than you, and you may never be him.

The real Red Pill is realizing that all the hard work and dedication in the world isn't going to transform us all into winners at everything in life forever because some of us will always have unfair advantages. We didn't start off on a level playing field, it'd be absurd to think we're all going to achieve the same results in every area of our lives. The real Red Pill is realizing that the only justice in this world is that which we make, and that most of the wrongdoers in this world won't receive half the punishment they deserve but live long, comfortable and happy lives. The real Red Pill is recognizing all that and still finding true purpose and fulfillment in life and not letting any of that be an excuse to not be excellent at everything you put yourself to.

[–]Myrpl 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Excellent response.

The real hurt is realizing that no matter how much you lift or how much you develop your game, there's always going to be the guy who's richer or taller or better looking or just naturally smoother who doesn't need to work nearly as hard as you do but still gets more girls than you, and you may never be him.

This is also true for anything: I started learning programming, I get better at it every day, but I will never be that kid who had educated parents with enough money to provide him with a computer the moment he realized that he's interested in it. So, what I do is: Become good enough to be noticed by an employer/client to ask me "can you deliver this?" and be able to tell him "I can", and then deliver it. I believe it was Seneca who said "luck is when preparation meets opportunity", and I want to be prepared if opportunity happens, in any form.

The real Red Pill is recognizing all that and still finding true purpose and fulfillment in life and not letting any of that be an excuse to not be excellent at everything you put yourself to.

Exactly. This morning I was pissed at me because I realized that, while I do know more about programming than what I knew a week ago, I'm still not employable. While I feel good about me for being a better version of myself in the subject, the employer doesn't give a fuck and will pick someone who does, regardless of how and why he does. Does it discourages me? Yes. Did it made me gave up learning? No.

Same goes with building my body. I have some chronic issues (IBS, GERD) that force me to fall back to my diet (trying to gain weight). I feel bad because someone else can eat the necessary stuff to gain weight fast without having to pussyfoot around food that cause him pain and diarrhea, but it certainly doesn't stop me from trying.

[–]robbo452 9 points10 points  (1 child)

if you work on your Game and boost your SMV, you'll all be the multimillionaire owner of your own startup business, spinning 30 HB9 plates at will, and if you ever get married, it will be to some younger, hot submissive virgin girl from a foreign country who hasn't been americanized and only wants to fuck you and cook you breakfast.

Man, this hits so close to home. How sad is it that this is literally to the dot what I envisaged?

[–]EmperorAurelius 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yea reading that part stung me like a motherfucker.

[–]Jigsus 14 points15 points  (19 children)

The hardest pill of all to swallow is that life isn't fair.

I know life isn't fair but why is it never unfair in my favor?

[–]RedPillAnonymous 35 points36 points  (7 children)

The reason it isn't unfair in your favor is because the types of people who screw you over do it deliberately, and they chose you because they saw you were a "nice guy". You want it to be unfair in your favor against these assholes, but they are wary of that shit, the only way for it to be unfair in your favor is to fuck over other nice people, but you only want vengeance on the assholes.

[–]babayega 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Godamn dude. You're right and I'm sad.

[–]Jigsus 0 points1 point  (5 children)

That makes a lot of sense actually. Humans are such a shit species.

[–]trinitys_dildo 8 points9 points  (4 children)

No better or worse than other.

Just much more successful for the time being

[–]Jigsus 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I beg to differ. There are species that are less violent, more collaborative and generally more honest than humans.

[–]trinitys_dildo 2 points3 points  (2 children)

and look where it's getting them

[–]Jigsus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bonobos are doing pretty well. Their sex lives are better and they're arguably much happier than humans.

[–]trinitys_dildo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Possibly "happier" but they are getting fucked by us through habitat destruction etc.

Bonobos have a matriarchal society it's going to work out as well for them as it has for human matriarchal societies

[–]AdorableAnt 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Is it never unfair in your favor? Were you born in Bangladesh? Do you earn more than $1/day?

[–]rpscrote 5 points6 points  (0 children)

great point. We must rise above our tendency to focus on the things we dont have as opposed to that we do have

[–]wildmetacirclejerk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We've all been there man. Hell I'm there right now, but at some point you have to realise you cannot avenge against all your adversaries and find that a dispassionate take on the whole thing is more healthy and profitable long term than 'righteous anger' not matter how you feel it fuels you. It's like burning your wheels. You feel power but really your just hampering and damaging yourself.

The point where you truly do not care one way or another about your ex enemies lives, is the moment you can really start to move on. Insensitivity to ones foes, It's a standard to be aimed for, I realise it is very difficult to attain.

[–]stellarMan24 6 points7 points  (5 children)

If that's how you feel, something tells me you aren't capitalizing on your opportunities. The biggest gains in my life have been from doing things I greatly resisted. Detach yourself from your ego and your suffering will no longer seem as significant. Then you're free to do anything you want. Nothing to lose, right?

[–]Lhtfoot 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I think I speak for half of the world when I say: ELI5 - How do I detach from my ego?

[–]stellarMan24 15 points16 points  (1 child)

There is obviously no one answer. Some things that have helped me:

Lots and lots of pain and suffering

  • Countless rejections - some very public and humiliating, still survived
  • Rejecting vices - frequent blue balls, having to overcome social anxiety in a venue full of drunk people due to staying sober, some bored and anxious nights due to not smoking weed
  • Cold showers everyday - this doesn't need an explanation
  • Resisting laziness - forcing productivity despite not wanting to start

Learning the following from people better than me

  • Academia/Business - will make you feel inferior or hopeless even though you're studying consistently and well above average
  • Physical - will make you feel inferior or weak even though you're lifting consistently and well-above average
  • Game - will make you feel inferior or like a loser even though you're approaching consistently, getting steady results and learning rapidly

These are all things that will force you to feel humble no matter where you are in life.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and now ive realized ive finally tamed my ego (mostly). Getting into a highly skilled profession at the bottom showed me how far I have to go professionally, started lifting as a skinny kid with nearly no strength showed me how far I have to go physically.

Then you run into these faggy 19/20 year old kids on here with massive overinflated egos that say shit like "I went on duolinguo for a month now I speak 9 languages!1!!" and its like shut the fuck up you retard. You're egotistical as shit. You need to kill your ego, accept you have a long ways to go, and get to it.

Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

[–]erniesmoove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Social comfort zone challenges.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of us here start off swallowing this pseudo-redpill that's little more than glorified PUA.

I hope that's not what people are swallowing. I swallowed such a ball of anger, pain, and fire that I had to start taking pain killers just due to overclenching my jaw for too long.

[–]Surf_Or_Die 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so fucking true. And I'd like to add something else: who you become when you grow as a person is infinitely more valuable than what natural talents you have. I never cared about money because I come from money. Making money and spending money means nothing to me. Now my father isn't exactly a billionaire but suffice it to say that he owns his own clinic. The stuff that I had to work for, where money didn't matter have been infinitely more valuable to me as a person. You have to embrace the pain as that is the only means through which we as humans grow. Betrayal feels bad when it happens to you but you learn so much from it.

[–]-Quotidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

life isn't fair

Nope. "Fair" and "life" are two entirely exclusive things. For you to eat, something must be eaten. Disregarding animals, life cannibalizes other life. We eat plants and animals, but there aren't always enough of those things to go around. So we kill our competition, then something eats them, and then we usually wind up eating those things. Most of the life that comes into this world is devoured, and all of it ends in death.

Regarding TRP, there are certain factors you can control in your life. You can get big. You can learn patterns. You can internalize behaviors and develop social and mental characteristics. You can recreate yourself. What you control ends where you end--sure, you can tell your subordinates what to do or manipulate what people think of you, but truth is often stranger than fiction. One of your employees might come in and shoot the place up one day. Might be a random psycho, someone you've never even met.

Some say that control is an illusion. Maybe it is, but I don't think that discipline and self-control should be written off in the same vein.

Regarding pain and revenge, well…it's all provisional. Subjective. Some things are best being written off and forgotten. The little shit who stole your soda in the eighth grade, the asshole who cut in line or bumped into you and sent your coffee all over your shirt. Other things will stick in your craw and bother you if you don't do something.

So figure out what you can do: both what you're capable of, and what you can get away with. Figure out why shit bothers you, what obstacles you might encounter, and how to get around them. Knowing the cause of your pain or disgust is the first step in recovering from it and preventing it from affecting you in the future. Then you can figure out how to right some wrongs.

That said, some of your wrongs cannot--and should not--be righted. Everyone gets got. The suffering that made you stronger is not always something to regret. Swallowing the Pill is painful, but it's worth it. There is no justice, but that doesn't mean you can't succeed. Just accept that it might be at the expense of others, and make sure you can live with those expenses.

[–]jungleman4545 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say life is fair in it's unfairness. The rules are set, and it depends on the person. Either he accepts these rules or fools himself by believing he can change them.

Of course, first you have to know the rules to be able to accept them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider it a blessing to learn that the world isn't fair. Because even if you work your ass of some things won't work out like you feel it should.

The thing however is that it's not about the things working out in your favor or not. It's about you learning and becoming a better man.

The world doesn't care if you think the world isn't fair. They only care about what kind of man you become and can provide for the world.

People have to get over their egos and start thinking it's not about themselves. It's about everybody making an impact on the people around them.

You know who are the best players in sports? The guys who make everybody around them better. It's no different in life.

[–]Smooovies 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The only thing that concerns me about a post like this is that it can breed a male hamster. It wreaks of subjective victim-ness, in that it can lead us to fail to objectively view our status in the grand scheme of the world. No matter where you stand, there are ways for us to overcome whatever obstacles we face, no matter how prevalent. Not to mention, by having the idea of a person being better than you, you can either hold onto the need for whatever external validation this person gets as a result of their "betterness," or you can understand that whatever they get as a result of what they have as expendable.

[–]squarehead93 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It wreaks of subjective victim-ness, in that it can lead us to fail to objectively view our status in the grand scheme of the world.

Look at the last part of my post. I clearly stated it's not an excuse to not be your best. I agree that there's another end of the spectrum where men look at any deficiency they might have and use it to give up. Still, I feel like some of the newer/less experienced TRPers are selling and buying this narrative of everyone being able to get the exact same results for more or less the same effort, which ultimately is more destructive than just giving them the honest answer of "we're not all created equal but that doesn't mean anyone can't work to make themselves successful in their own right."

[–]Smooovies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see what you're saying. You're trying to ease them into swallowing the pill by understanding a principle of value in the SMP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having this awareness is half the battle.

[–][deleted] 119 points120 points  (24 children)

The wall actually is a real thing, marriage really is on a decline, and for the first time ever women are reporting lower happiness levels than men, but I mostly agree with you. The only real way to get revenge on a girl is by fucking her best friend and if you can't pull that off then you just gotta let this one go.

[–]thereticle 28 points28 points [recovered]

Good post.

The wall actually is a real thing, marriage really is on a decline, and for the first time ever women are reporting lower happiness levels than men.

These things are all true, but they still don't guarantee your revenge will be fulfilled by default, and therefore its still a waste of energy to spend your time wallowing in anger. I know plenty of post wall women who are quite happily married, and society still has several hundred years to run before the true collapse takes hold.

But hey, there may even be a scenario where something terrible DOES happen to the person who fucked you over. If so, great! Enjoy the schadenfreude. The point is, its just as random that something bad happened to them as something good happened to them. There should be no expectation either way on your part, and no energy expended on hoping or wishing for either outcome. Forget about it and focus your energy more constructively.

[–]pavista 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you are continually improving yourself I have found your 'level' of living consistently moves away from your past exs who are generally losing desirability with age. I've not had the problem of looking back with regret, not that I care what they do simply because their lives have been fairly predictable.

Women still have a huge safety net in society and some beta chump will date them sooner or later.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

its still a waste of energy to spend your time wallowing in anger.

Well said OP. Weaker people hold onto disempowering stories they can drag out as excuses for their shitty situation. When you focus on yesterday's crap, you attract more of it today. You become a crap magnet, and women can "smell" it on you.

Rising above the ashes and shit is what makes you a better man. Embrace the struggle. Life is one big series of shit tests.

[–]BattleDrillOneAlpha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know plenty of post wall women who are quite happily married

Yea, on top of that a lot of "post wall" women are actually pretty damn hot. Albeit they are the exception since most women are fat nowadays. My current job is fitness related and I can tell you that there are plenty of very attractive women past age 30.

Buuuuuut lets not kid ourselves. Between 20-30 is when they are objectively at their hottest; if they are hot past 30 just imagine what they looked like in their 20s.

[–]Schrodingersdawg 49 points50 points  (8 children)

Or just become someone attractive and ripped enough so you become "the one that got away" in her mind. A better end goal would be to become someone that she'll eventually see as the alpha... right before you pump and dump her.

Honestly anger is useful as long as you use it. Much more useful than depression, which is the other alternative. It's the only thing that keeps me from putting a bullet in my head at night, because anger just keeps me motivated to continue improving myself. Without that hope driven by anger, what else is there?

[–]1RXRob 30 points31 points  (1 child)

I don't even give them the pleasure of a pump. They get the pleasure of watching my arse as I walk off into the sunset.

[–]magus678 14 points15 points  (2 children)

For a lot of people, their first love is what they'll always remember. For me it's always been the first hate, and I think that hatred, though it provides often rather junky energy, is a terrific way of getting you out of bed in the morning and keeping you going. 

-Christopher Hitchens

While you aren't wrong, hate won't last forever; it exhausts you eventually. You will have to find another wall between the bullet and yourself at some point.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Hatred's perfectly viable. Personally, I have no problem with men who end up hating women. They're entitled to it. Hatred is a problem when it ends up harming the man himself but if it's a motivating force for him then the misogyny is a good thing. I don't even have a problem if hatred ends up hurting women. My agenda is to see the boys happy and I don't really see a reason to look at the other side of the equation. If a man's productively hating women, I'd much rather give him a story of a really bad divorce rape then a lecture on how women are wonderful.

[–]RedPillProphet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is beautiful. I have felt this way for a long time but could never put it into words so succinctly. Nothing wrong with hatred, it is as valid and useful of a feeling as others.

I hate a certain type of bitchy entitled young girls and absolutely thrive on fucking with their feelings. It doesn't hurt any innocent by standers and it is a source of immense pleasure for me. I understand they can't help themselves... well neither can I. I am the force of karma in this fucking world and I LOVE it. Cunts be damned.

[–]1lurkingtacopiller 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It used to bother me that I agree with this so much. Anger is so useful, I'm full of it all the time. It's one of the main reasons I can be so dgaf on a regular basis, because I'm so pissed off I don't have time to think about giving a fuck.

[–]HeinousFu_kery 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or just become someone attractive and ripped enough so you become "the one that got away" in her mind.

Here's the problem. You'll be the one who was "insensitive" or "uncommitted" or "emotionally abusive" or some other label that allows them to write you off in front of their friends. "In her own mind" doesn't count as much as the hive mind of her clan.

[–]pavista 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Women have set themselves up a fairly poor deal. They need a relationship to be happy. Listen to females talk for any short period of time and they will mention how miserable they are single, yet they have collectively destroyed any notion of classical relationships.

Most men who withdraw from dating women are perfectly fine. They might miss sex occasionally but often they find themselves more content with life.

[–]NidStyles 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Sex is a phone call away for anyone with a job.

[–]RedPillProphet 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think what he meant is, they might miss the organic affection of a gf.

[–]NidStyles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that's about 3-4 hours a day with the rest of it dealing with her BS. No thanks lol.

[–]i_respondWith_a_song 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is a real thing. But I think OP is saying most guys here bank on that phenomenom which makes them believe further in the just-world fallacy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And if best friend a land whale?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do it anyways to prove a point.

[–]privatejohngarrett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're putting that much thought or energy into getting revenge on a girl then you're giving way too many shits. Unless a girl seriously fucks you over in a really bad way, they are not deserving of your hate, much less revenge. If someone fucks me over in that badly a way I take care of it the best way I can. Then I forget about it. Sometimes I just tuck the mental note away for awhile and revisit the situation at a later time. '...best served cold' and whatnot. But I very rarely let anything any girl does bother me enough to care about it enough to take revenge.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only real way to get revenge on a girl is by fucking her best friend

Totally just pulled this one off, which is hilarious, and its way easier than you'd think because you get instant pre-selection. All you need is a rift between the two people to exploit so they can hamster a narrative that makes it okay in their mind. In my case they werent on speaking terms, so its more a "former best friend" than current, but still applies.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only real way to get revenge on a girl is by fucking her best friend and if you can't pull that off then you just gotta let this one go.

You forgot those girlfriend revenge sites that we definitely, totally don't endorse.

[–]creepyguy13 40 points41 points  (5 children)

Yeah man I went to college and found out my ex fucked another dude and was pissed off. Back then I still had this beta get even mindset little did I know it was making me look like more of a bitch than ever. I'd call her a slut and tell people she fucked somebody else, it just made me look worse in the end. When girls would come around I'd complain about how my ex treated me, things that a loser would do.

It's funny because you're right, I never did get even, what did calling her a slut do? She doesn't care, nobody really cares that much.

When I got through the anger phase and reflected I'm happy it was my first relationship she definitely made me a better person, I'm no longer mad at her, I became mad at myself for the loser I was while in the relationship. I'll try to never do it again.

[–]EndowedTurtle 20 points21 points  (2 children)

tagging on to this; i had a similar experience where the ex cheated, I raged, got depressed and slumped. After swallowing TRP I moved on somewhat, but what really turned it around for me was hearing about her escapades afterwards. She was getting hammered nearly every weekday and sleeping around, fucking whomever could hook her up or make her life more interesting. I heard this and got sad for a day or two before I realized how little it mattered and how much better I am off without her toxic attitude around me.

[–]tuxedoburrito 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good turn around man. Let her do whatever the heck she wants. Live your life and forget about her

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Experienced the same thing. My anger and sadness turned into laughter. Here I am, thinking I'm the one who got fucked over, but I'm living better than ever while she's out sucking dick for attention because that's all she has to offer in this world. And then I go back to working on myself because I'm a fucking badass now that I'm not letting such a venomous bitch control my life.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

I think this quote is only true if you hold on to that anger with the intent of throwing it at someone else. Turn your anger into true revenge by always focusing on the one who matters. You. You are the one who matters. Not some girl. Take your anger out on yourself in the gym. Get that sweet pain you feel whenever you move.

Get revenge by making your life amazing. Make your life awesome. Figure out what you want to do and don't let anyone shame you for it. This is your movie. You are the super star. Everyone else is just an extra until you choose to let them come into the picture and only for so long as you allow them to stay.

Every moment you think about revenge is another moment you aren't thinking about making your life awesome. Which is the best revenge. Prove to the only person that matters, you my dear reader, that no matter how many times you get knocked down you get back up. Always move forward. Every year you need to be able to look back one year and think to yourself, "my life is so much better."

And when you are lying in the gutter bleeding to death from the wounds you've suffered take that anger and crawl forward. Every inch adds up. Every millimeter makes your life better.

Be selfish. Listen to yourself. Become someone you want to hang around with because you are hanging around with yourself every second of every day. Realize who the important one is.

[–]thereticle 13 points13 points [recovered]

Good post. The only clarifcation I would make is this:

Get revenge by making your life amazing.

Instead of getting revenge by making your life amazing, just make your life amazing for the sake of having an amazing life. Doing ANYTHING with revenge as a motive is just not the way you want to be approaching your life, because that way you are living for others rather than for yourself.

[–]Kill_Your_Ego 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Instead of getting revenge by making your life amazing, just make your life amazing for the sake of having an amazing life.

Awesome stuff! As the anger faded for me I found myself in a place without motivation. It was dark in a different way. I wished for the anger to come back and I held on to what was left. And burned myself for it.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i get what you're trying to say but its just unrealistic and idealized. (I do agree on your broader point that false revenge narratives are a waste of time, I'm talking more specifically to this point) Men getting unplugged will be angry. All this "just do it for you maaaaaan" stuff is totally lost on pissed off new guys. Instead of wishing this were different and giving advice as if it could be different, its better to give advice relevant to how it actually is.

Angry dudes should use their anger to power their self improvement. Its how I started, and its how many, many other guys started. Revenge is a powerful motivator. Trying to act like it doesnt exist is ignoring one of your most powerful tools as a new guy without discipline. If saying "Fuck that bitch, I'm going to get ripped and then she'll regret it" gets a guy who's never lifted or never dieted to do both and stick to it -- then it should be embraced.

The key is to BUILD HABITS so that when the anger leaves (like you're saying below u/Kill_Your_Ego) you have discipline and habits to continue your journey.

But anger is very useful to start and not something we should be discouraging at all. As if we could stop it anyways...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazing response about resilience.

Fall down nine times, get up ten

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Continuing to think about someone who has screwed you in the past will just give that person free real estate in your head. Your brain space is valuable and you should be charging rent for that shit.

Forget the person who wronged you but remember the lesson they taught you.

[–]rpscrote 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Forget the person who wronged you but remember the lesson they taught you

Amen. This is a hell of a lot easier said than done though. The only method i've found so far to work for me is time and continued self improvement.

How do you personally go about doing this?

[–]creatinekunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easier said than done. I fear my obsession with revenge has consumed me and It will bleed me until the day I die

[–]jaredschaffer27 27 points28 points  (7 children)

I have a picture of my former LTR up on my wall with text of one of the cuntiest things she ever said to me. Still in the anger phase, but I take this otherwise useless hate, anger and desire for revenge and channel it into motivation for lifting, music, career and everything else. It's fuel for the fire.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (6 children)

Eventually, even the worst thing you've ever been told turns into a joke between you and your closest friends. The acceptance phase is fun. Doesn't mean you never get mad or hurt again, but the turnaround time is a lot faster.

[–]i_respondWith_a_song 1 point2 points  (5 children)

What are the other phases? Kinda new here and on mobile, so I can't see the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (4 children)

other phases

I don't think it's made the sidebar yet, but I've understood this as being the same as the phases of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance.


This TRP stuff isn't true, they're all bitter neckbeard small-dicked virgins and I will dismiss them without considering their arguments.


Oh no this most recent breakup in my life causes me to unhesitatingly accept all I read at TRP, and now I recognize that women are scum


If I master all of these 16 commandments of poon and the iron rules of tomassi and powertalk and I get really fit then women will love me


We're all screwed, doesn't matter, I have three plates and it doesn't fulfill me


Went out swing dancing after the gym, met a cool chick. Did some shit-testing but nothing excessive, going to take her out tomorrow evening.

TRP ends up holding a lot of venting anger phase guys. It clogs the feed with AWALT reports and makes us look bad to newbies and outsiders, but it's a valuable service, one of the few places where a guy can really vent that stuff without "Oh goodness you're scaring me" or "You must hate women". It's not scary, and we don't hate women; it's just frustrating because there is no socially acceptable space for someone who is not a natural alpha to go practice dealing with women, and a lot of guys retreat to blue pill Disney delusion as a defense mechanism.

[–]rpscrote 5 points6 points  (0 children)

importantly and commonly missed is that this isnt a linear process. You will feel acceptance surge one day due to the circumstances only for anger to resurface the next day due to other circumstances. As you move along the strength of the influencing "phases" wax and wane. Early on = Anger dominates, later on Acceptance dominates. It's not either or.

[–]BeautyQuark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is known as the grieving process in psychology.

[–]1egoisenemy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit I am totally in the Bargaining phase...

[–]widec 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't believe in karma at all. There's no mystical force that will make everything in this world just. Sometimes people just get fucked over for no good reason, it's part of the randomness of life.

My roommate has bipolar disorder that ultimately stems from abusive parents before he was put up for adoption. This guy is also very genuine and treats just about everybody kindly until they screw him over. It doesn't make sense for him to be in and out of the hospital, putting him way behind in his education. But that's just life, some people just get fucked over for no good reason.

[–]Black-Pill 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am in my 5th decade and revenge and anger are emotions that have faded almost completely under the harsh light of time and the Red Pill Lens;

My only thought or words to either myself or others in regard to past LTR's and Plates are thus;

You have to remember that I was with her when she was still Hot

[–]NeoreactionSafe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm saying that when all avenues are exhausted, and there's nothing else you can do to right the wrong, or when righting the wrong is going to cause you more harm than good, you need to learn how to just suck it up, shrug your shoulders and walk away.

That's good advice. If you can get revenge or justice then great, but if there is no way you can achieve anything by letting a negative emotion consume you then you should let go of it.

We forgive because we want our lives to be better, not for others sake.

In most cases the really bad characters do end up in jail or dead because they keep doing things to others over and over. Eventually even the baddest fall.

But those minor "trespasses" you need to let go of.

Always assume the worst scenario and protect yourself based on the idea you want to lower your risk of becoming a victim.

Part of Red Pill is simply understanding how women really think.

Amused Mastery is when it's all sunk in and you can laugh about how women think.

Things like refusing the modern marriage contract are done because you have studied the situation and found that your best protection is to avoid it.

[–]i_respondWith_a_song 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just wanted to say thanks for the post. This is where I'm at right now.

[–]capt_behindsight 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Walk it off... Let it go... Get over it..." Nah man. The anger inside has made me stronger and better than ever. I welcome rejection and failure. Because without it, there is no growth. She cheated on me? Of course I'll be upset and insecure. But I won't wallow in self pity. Those are the times you step up, better than ever

[–][deleted] 13 points13 points

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[–][deleted] 5 points5 points

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[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course with a few flings with Chad on the side. And maybe a frat boy during spring break. And maybe a bouncer on girls weekend in las vegas. And maybe your gynocologists son - did you hear he's the captain of his lacrosse team?

[–]LMS_THEORY_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP is legit...

Your anger will never lead to the creativity of a man living at or near his maximum potential. Only personal growth cultivated by internal means will achieve long lasting success.

[–]1sardinemanR 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm long past anger phase, but I think this is a great post and agree with it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I find some solace in the words of Martin Luther King Jr.

"I have decided to stick to love.... hate is too great a burden to bear."

[–]mikesteane 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Revenge is a dish best not eaten at all, especially if your heart is in it.

That having been said, it seems to me that, over and over again, I have seen people get what they deserved, not because it was inflicted on them, but because they did it to themselves.

The person who stole your watch? All his friends are lowlifes who will stab him in the back, the moment they see any advantage in it. The guy who maliciously humiliated you? Still carrying his own problems and labouring under the weight. The girl who cheated on you? She hit the wall she didn't see in front of her.

Karma is very pervasive and needs no intervention. For an explanation of the mechanism by which this works, read The Origins of Virtue by Matt Ridley.

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rejection & Revenge http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/15/rejection-revenge/


I mention this in particular because it’s easily the most common, and potentially the most damaging reaction men have with rejection. This can be from enacting something petty and annoying to the actual murder of the rejecting woman. This is the “how can I get back at her” response, and while it may seem satisfying to ‘teach her a lesson’ trust that this lesson will never be taught by revenge, no matter how justified or deserving she is.

Indifference speaks volumes. The very consideration of revenge is a waste of your time, a waste of your effort, that would be better spent learning and bettering yourself from that rejection. I can personally relate a story of a young man who was just released from prison. He killed the boyfriend who his ‘soulmate’ replaced him with when he was 16 by stabbing him 32 times. That was his revenge. If he’d been 2 years older he would’ve been put to death or served a life sentence. You may not be that extreme in pursuing a course of revenge, but the consequences are similar. For so long as you consider revenge, no matter how petty, you’ll still be attached to the emotions of that rejection. Accept the rejection, move on, rejection is better than regret – literally in this case.

Men aren’t being prepared, aren’t being raised to be Men. We constantly belabor this to the point that we make it a matter of personal pride and duty to instruct our fellow men less fortunate to realize it. Dealing with rejection is the lynchpin to this. When I read posts from Men I’d otherwise consider enlightened (to the Matrix or what have you) contemplate how best to enact their ‘revenge’ upon a woman who refused his approach, or in retaliation to a woman’s infidelity, I wonder if they are as enlightened as I gave them credit. In facing rejection, you have no choice but to accept it. How you’ll do so is a matter of your character. It’s important to cultivate an almost third-person approach to accepting rejection. For a lot of people, particularly those unaccustomed or new to deep personal rejection this is a tough order. We get emotionally invested and that’s never conducive to making good decisions, particularly for men who’d do better to rely on rationality and pragmatism. We’re particularly susceptible when we’re adolescents and young adults.

It’s part of the human condition to desire what we think is justice. It’s our nature to make comparisons, and in the instance of inequality, to see them corrected. And although we rarely consider the ultimate consequences of our actions, this isn’t the reason we should temper a desire for revenge. The thing we ought to consider is the overall efforts and resources necessary in order to exact revenge and weigh them against the things we might achieve for our own betterment by redirecting them to our own purposes. Even the efforts required for a slight revenge are better spent with concerns of our own.

This might seem like a longwinded way of saying “Living well is the best revenge”, and to a degree I think that’s true, but beware the ‘Well-lived’ life spent in pursuit of revenge. Revenge should never be the motivation for success. Even the time and mental effort needed to consider some appropriate way of making her aware of how she made you feel are resources better spent on meeting new prospective women who will reciprocate your interest. The root of confidence is developing, recognizing and acknowledging as many personal options as possible. Any effort you’d expend on revenge is a wasted opportunity to better yourself. Indifference to detractors and personal success are a far better revenge than any one sided injury you could inflict on them in return.

Law 36: Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them is the Best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem

[–]temerarious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to share one of my favorite thoughts that occurred to me when I was high as fuck.

I was cheated on when I was in bootcamp. I did forgive her to a certain level, even fucked her again and remained friends, but never totally forgave her for that action.

I was stoned working out at the gym one day years later (which is awesome btw. I workout high at least once every few weeks) and contemplating how shitty that time period was and how it retarded my growth because I was wallowing in self pity for a few months. I took a step back and wondered why I was reliving that period of time. Why I was reminding myself of the pain. Why was I intentionally feeling the pain again and dwelling on it?

I realized it was because I wanted to hurt so that she would deserve a worse punishment. I've never heard of the just-world fallacy, but I clearly believed it. I felt a resistance to simply letting go of the hurt and no longer being affected by it because that would mean she didn't actually hurt me as bad. That would mean she didn't really do something that wrong and that she didn't deserve the bad karma I wanted her to deserve.

Truly forgiving her meant truly not wanting her to be punished at all for what she did. That also meant truly letting go of the suffering I was putting on myself. Yes, not the suffering she caused, but the suffering I was causing myself. I immediately forgave her and no longer am bothered by that period of time in my life.

Just kidding. I still hope she burns in hell for an extra 10 minutes for cheating on me while I was in bootcamp (so fucking cliche), but now I see how silly that is and am working on changing it.

[–]Blood_Red_Phoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The best revenge you can get is killing your old self and rising up stronger from the ashes

[–]Abreseyes 2 points2 points [recovered]

I'm angry at my Dad for how he belittled and undermined me growing up and then dyding before I was old enough to take him on as an adult.

I'm angry at myself as I still believe he was better than me which means everything he said about me was true

[–]TheDialecticParadox 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Great post OP.

For me, the TRP anger phase was invoked by my girlfriend. One second she bowed down to me like I was god, letting me do whatever I wanted. She payed for all our dates, and loved me unconditionally.

After a week or two of hanging out with a guy in her course, I was forgotten and quickly dumped.

I resented her for it, but then realized I should be thanking her. If she hadn't have dumped me, I never would have felt hopeless enough to search the dark depths of the internet for the 'answers' on how to make a woman love you. I would have stayed with her and gone through with all those pathetic promises I made to be committed to her for the rest of my life (I'm fucking 20 btw).

TRP made me realize quickly I was a pitiful mess. My life was a meaningless spat and I lost focus of what's important. Girls aren't important. Not even close to it, in the grand scheme of things.

They only compliment the great lives true men forge for themselves.

[–]tuxedoburrito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. Devotion is such a pitiful word that has left my lips and the lips of girls.

[–]tuxedoburrito -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yep. Devotion is such a pitiful word that has left my lips and the lips of girls.

[–]2ShitsWithTheDoorOpen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Top notch post. Cultivate equinimity, be stoic, accept the world as it is, not how you want it to be. Pain and trauma are always an opportunity to cultivate deeper inner strength and dispassion.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sometimes you do.... my wife of 15 years left me. I was 38. Making great money in a great job and in great shape. We had kids and she was 'bored' and not feeling the tingles anymore.

I begged her to go see a counselor but she just moved out and started screwing ever kind of loser.

A year later and I have an amazing girlfriend. The sex is always available and fantastic. She is hotter, smarter and more fun. the ex call and cries ever now and then wanting to go back to counseling.

I won't lie. It feels amazingly good... and it's hard to be mad at her when my life is so much better.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is no Justice in the world. The faster you accept that, the better the pill is to swallow.

Find your wife fucking another dude? She divorces you. Takes half your stuff, you still pay alimony. In the meantime she's riding the CC hard and fastm fucking a new guy every weekend. Never paying for meals or clubs because some schlub is paying for her. Has beta orbiters gifting her anything.

Then when the wall approaches, she goes through her black book of prospects and shags the man who is willing to put a ring on that finger. She has it made. Got her cake and ate it too. Nice house, trips to Jamaica, a beta husband, and a wonderful trip down CC lane and she lives happily ever after.

Oh who are you again? She hardly remembers ya. You were just some past mistake.

Swallow the pill men. Women will have it better. A woman can fuck her way into luxury and comfort.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I have a few dudes and one chick on my shit list. If I ever get to a point where I'm not going nowhere in life, im getting mine. I know where all these people live as I'm writing this. Anytime. Any fucking time.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse -1 points0 points  (2 children)

1) If you were really going to do it, you wouldn't talk about it.

2) You've just incriminated yourself.

[–]Steve_Wiener 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best revenge is to live well..........or murder.

[–]2johnnight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, OP, probabilistically, they get punished. Repeat offenders eventually do meet the negative outcome.

That guy who cut you off on the highway? If he continues reckless driving, he will eventually hit a tree, because he is playing Russian roulette with low probabilities and an event will happen after enough repetitions.

It's just that there is no guarantee to this, but they make it likely.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't speak for the rest of you guys, but I definitely got my revenge. I wake up and get it every morning when I hit the gym, when I ace an exam, when I generally just kick life's ass. The best version of myself is a complete fucking catch, the likes of which a basic bitch like her will never have the opportunity to land again. Whether she cares or not is a different story, but fuck her, my life is fucking amazing now.

Living well truly is the best revenge.

[–]smallkoopatroopa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do not agree with that. I think it is actually fun to plan revenge.

I have a .xls doc containing the names of people who fucked me over. The third column is titled "Strategy to make their life miserable". It it a pleasure for me to plan events that will happen to them a few months or years ahead. Without breaking the law, of course. They took something from me. They will lose something if I can.

I learnt why it is important to "Keep your enemies closer": It is much easier to make their life a mess because you have access to their friends, boss, co-workers, family.... so all you have to do is to push the right buttons at the right time: in one month, 1 year or 10 years from now.

Sure it is not for everybody. For me this approach cured the victimhood and the anger. I am now much better in my head, because I take control of the situation and stop being a victim while trying to forget.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Plan ahead.

[–]Piroko 5 points6 points  (11 children)

You might never get your revenge

I will.

Because I don't have to do anything. The only question is whether I live to see it. But history is very clear on this point... when societies turn against their men, those societies always fall.

[–]Recheater 10 points11 points  (10 children)

Why would you hope for society to fail? Don't you enjoy the benefits of society? You're not Rorschach. You're not Batman. You're not a post-apocalyptic hero. You're just a guy on a forum, on the internet, in a home, safe. If society collapses, how much of that do you get to keep?

If you're disappointed with society, do what you can to improve it. If enough people did that, improvement would actually happen.

[–]cdtCPTret 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to hope for the fall of US society. Then I realized that I was essentially asking to live in Haiti or Kenya. Nah, the world is too sweet as it is. Even our TRP-related suffering is just a small inconvenience.

[–]PedroIsWatching 6 points7 points  (2 children)

But apathetically posting "enjoy the decline" is easier than doing something.

[–]AureliusThunderkok 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"Enjoy the decline" is a meaningless mantra that I would like to see less of. Aaron Clarey's book is a mess. His economic theories are quite sophomoric and his social ideas are the worst kind of 'bro science'. The writing is unbelievably bad.

The premise is rather stupid too. We have been through much worse economic slumps and social (near) collapses previously. Basically, its pandering to fear and anger to promote his 'special' brand of capitalism: that which can ignore completely the roll of wall st/business/banking on fucking over the American people.

Enjoy the decline? Fuck you chicken little.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 5 points6 points  (0 children)

US Debt Clock and Derivatives vs World GDP.

Ehh I'm not going to get into a dick measuring contest about which economic theories to worship, but we are in uncharted territory right now regarding massive debt and shadow banking.

At some point there will probably have to be a global reset. We saw it with Cyprus, now Greece, and even Puerto Rico. The dominoes will fall and no one will be capable of putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.

[–]xray777 8 points8 points [recovered]

There is a profound satisfaction all decent men find in true justice. Many men would be happy to scratch out a living in the wasteland after our civilization knowing those responsible got their just desserts.

[–]Recheater -1 points0 points  (1 child)

There is a profound satisfaction all decent men find in true justice.

Tell me a story of when you've brought "true justice" to the world.

[–]bluedrygrass 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But what if he can't do anything? How society works is decided by the people on top. We don't really have power outside our little lifes, for great they might be.

I mean, concretely, what can we do to change, for example, how the government treats men? We are treated like the boogymen, everything is our fault, we're damned if we do or we don't.

And we have absolutely 0 power on the government. So it only seems logical for someone to go his way and wish for the government to collapse.

It happened to all the greatest empires in history.

[–]Piroko 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first cousin twice removed was President of the United States (LBJ). I was raised in the hometown of an different President (Hoover). John Brown did his recruiting five miles down the road. Most of my extended family is military and a distant relation was an astronaut.

I was raised surrounded by proof that individuals are not powerless.

[–]Piroko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Iowa.

To me American "society" is a bunch of useless stuck up windbags who tell me what to do.

I watch Mockingjay and see a prophetic future where the midwest rises up and cuts ya'll off from everything you don't deserve. Just about everything I eat says made in Iowa and damn near everything else I buy says made in China so what the hell good are you to me? Just a bunch of pompous blowhards on the coast. All you create are edicts, drama, and inflation. You come into our state, say we shouldn't have guns, we shouldn't do this, we shouldn't do that...

"We's fightin for our rights. The right to live my life like I see fit. Why can't you just live the way you want to live and let us live the way we do?" -Gettysburg

[–]SplashArtist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont waste your time with revenge. It is useless.

[–]undercovergamer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. These sentiments run opposite to stoicism. Another common one is "Everything happens for a reason". Not to be confused with the fact that yes of course there are usually silver linings. People spew this metaphysical garbage all the time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We can go for societal revenge. Such as provoking all of the different factors such as Isis and urban youths to fuck everyone over. Just live for yourself and watch everything burn for the fun of it.

[–]Reanimate_87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Letting things be and letting nature run it's course, doesn't mean that someone won't experience some conscequences because of their actions. They don't have to be in direct relation to your suffering, but I do believe that some people are predestined for misery because of their rotten attitude.

Sticking around to see it is a whole different thing though. Most suffering comes from the need to have control over others. Having peace with the fact you basically have none takes away a lot of strain on your psychology.

Don't you believe that people attract certain types of situations and personalities purely because of their own character? Validation seeking pump and dump sluts are damaged for a reason. They seem to attract assholes and fall for the same shit again and again. Beauty initially attracts, while a rotten character recoils in the long run. Can they lock down an unknowing beta? If he lacks the charcter, sure. Perhaps she might rationalize that it all wasn't her fault she became an alpha widow whore. Will it fill up the cavity in her soul that was left behind? I doubt it. Stuff like that is enough karma for me.

[–]5p56x45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The opposite of love is not hate, it's ambivalence.

Let the past transgressions wash around you like the river does to a boulder, cleansing you as they pass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. I would disagree with one point. The best revenge is living well. By that I mean making yourself happy without her. Making yourself for without her wealthy without her. Making yourself a god damn island that is full of college age pussy and no stress. Then plastering that shit all over facebook in between trips to Fiji and surfing footage on your go pro.

That smile you show those six packs you spent all winter in the gym to gain are your fuck you swan song to her hamster.

You may never talk or see her again but I guarantee you she will facebook stalk you some day and when she does and she sees travel wealth and adoration of younger and better women she will get angry

Or she won't and you'll be rich well traveled and balls deep in hot chicks for no reason o guess. Bummer.

[–]tulio2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best expressed by Nucky Thompson. "The wars over... the other side won."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


What is this?

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fucking awesome post. Thanks man. Needed that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Revenge is something you do when someone kills your loved one, not when a girl cheats on you. Get your head straight and fix your life for you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nature is not fair so why should our lives be?

[–]williesmokes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why even worry about people from your past? Just do you.

[–]FaustoRMD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a list with all the people I'm going to fuck up really bad one day. Revenge with no preparation is worthless. Take your time and when you make your move be sure you screw them forever.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When the Millennial generation is left mostly childless at age 40 the new generation of girls will take notice..The tables will turn as Nature law dictates.

[–]Sdom1 0 points1 point  (3 children)

When I was in my 20's, I got fucked over by a fairly powerful guy (not a name you'd recognize, but powerful enough that I wouldn't put his name or too many details out here). This was in business, not women, but it's the same.

I was talking with an older guy (mid 40s) connected to the situation and I said something like "he fucks so many people over; I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he gets his comeuppance."

The guy turned to me and looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world and said something I'll never forget.

He said, "you need to get something through your thick fucking skull right now. "John" may get his comeuppance some day, but probably not, and if it happens, it's not because he was an asshole to you. And you know what? This was a big deal to you, but he's already forgotten about you. In a year, he won't even remember your name. And this is how it is everywhere, so get used to it. Don't waste your time thinking about him, just think about what you're going to do next."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This sounds like a sycophant. They're 10x worse. This supposedly powerful guy has to be a good businessman. No shame in respecting that.

[–]Sdom1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How exactly was he being John's sycophant? He and John were actually at odds. No, what we talked about after was that people use these revenge fantasies to feel better about the situation but it just holds you back in the end. Better to just be focused on your next move. Basically, there's no justice in this world, just do what you can to carve out your position in it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's deflecting everything from John to you and acting like John's actually not gonna remember you. Of course he will! That's why he never gonna do business with you again! He KNOWS he fucked you over and he KNOWS you're probably smart enough to not let it happen again! It's real simple.

[–]ZeeyardSA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saddest bit for me is that for me I will never do the things that I wanted to do. My revenge is internal, and thats the most difficult to beat.

[–]swishman 1 points1 points [recovered]

I pardon you. Forgiveness, not revenge, that's power.

He who knows all forgives all

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer that saying which goes "Forgive your enemies but never forget their names"

[–]wildmetacirclejerk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen first class post brother.

The first step to truly taking the red pill is the death of entitlement

[–]redpill-visceral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember when I asked a girl out for the first time in years. I though we had a great time. But in the end, I got in the friendzone for being nice. I used to think about ver and think she was such a bitch and so... But now I realize this event was an eye opener (RP) and made me improve myself and get bettet. I would be much weaker if I hadn't that rejection. So, just fuck it, ser the bright side and keep growing.

[–]BeautyQuark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, the only real way to get even at an ex-whatever is to keep in contact occasionally, wait until they are married, fuck them, and destroy their BB marriage. This may or may not make you feel better, but it will make you the winner if that is what you care about.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Harboring resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die.. (widely known aphorism)

Can sometimes take a while, though, to 'let it all go', and I think that's ok. Best to engage a good therapist if your anger is really interfering with your life...

[–]LeGrandDiableBlanc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best revenge is to live well.

[–]Gordatwork 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post, I swallowed the red pill a while ago and I unfortunately have internalized this 'they will get theirs in the end' mentality. Never gave it much thought but you are right, life isn't fair, it is time to walk away from pointless anger.

[–]RPthrowaway123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I forget the exact wording, but a quote to the effect of this post:

Forgive not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

Nothing is more infuriating than someone "getting away with something", especially when it makes you suffer. But you have to let it go eventually. Use that anger to improve yourself from where you were. Then let it go, because holding on the every single past transgression will leave you an angry shell of a man.

[–]ShanksNes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Red pill seems to me more and more about lowering your expectations towards other people. Again, thanks for the post.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my revenge is becoming a better person, so i know this will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!

[–]4benny2lava0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You get angry, like the end of your own personal holocaust you say never again, you start lifting, studying, working harder, anything and everything to put you at least a cut above everyone who fucked you over and you do it for the world to see. You do it for them to see. You climb the ranks socially and professionally and then look where you are.

Those that created the monster you are now, they are small change.

Stop being a serpent with a long memory.

[–]cxj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome post, great job op

[–]heijutsu 0 points1 point  (3 children)

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” - Nelson Mandela.

After my divorce I really changed my philosophy for the world. I no longer think that there is some scoreboard for the universe and you "get what you deserve". I think of everything good now as a gift and it isn't based upon some achievement/penance, etc. that I have done in my life. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people, that is the way of the world. Period.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I think if you do something wrong it gets back to you in some form. It's just not always obvious at first.

[–]heijutsu 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Then you think there is something in some form that keeps score? While karma is a wonderful idea, it has no basis in fact. The only fact is that good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, that's what I believe. I respect your beliefs tho.

"The only fact is that good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people." Reincarnation reconciles this in my belief system.

[–]Aiadon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Revenge is pointless anyway. Better make up a story where you got revenge in a similar situation if you need the social proof of being not to be messed with.

[–]6footdeeponice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no greater good than, in the face of an absurd and uncaring universe, choosing to do good.

Not for a reward. Not because you "should" do it.

You do it because YOU are the one who brings justice. YOU are the one who creates a just world out of an un-just world.

Even if The just world fallacy wasn't a fallacy, doing good for a reward isn't good.

Doing good in the face oblivion... I can't think of anything better.

The easy choice is to do what makes you feel good. The hard choice is doing what makes good. Make good.

[–]Chocotop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe in god. And right now he just used you as a vessel because this translates almost exactly to the pain I've been tryingtp deal with for over a year.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the thing with revenge is it's not really all that important. Maybe it feels important at some point and maybe you get your revenge but it won't matter if you will or not.

The important thing is that you learned and grew from everything. You see revenge has a lot more to do with your hurt ego than it does with her.

The best reward for when things happen that you think need revenge (being cheated on, divorce rape, etc) is that you get to learn from it and have more awareness to never allow that certain thing to happen again.

The best result is you get stronger from it. So it's not about avoiding these hurtful things out of fear or getting revenge out of anger. It's that you actually learn, grow and become a better man because of what's happened to you.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Post should be titled "You will not get your revenge". Even if the ex who fucked you over sees you on television as a jacked millionaire celebrity CEO, she'll hamster it away and think she got the better end of it.

[–]1User-31f64a4e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suffering = Pain X Resistance.

Pain is what they did to you.
Resistance is you holding on, insisting that what happened should not have happened because morals, because not fair, because it hurts your ego as a special snowflake.

If you let go and quit resisting what happened, then the zero resistance means zero suffering.

[–]ConcealingFate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best revenge was when I accepted I was better off without her.

There was a post a while ago saying ''You never truly get over your first one''. That was true for me.

After weeping around and being miserable, I started by going on a backpack trip to change my mind a bit, started playing drums and just keep myself busy.

Found TRP later that year, started reading and applying what I learned, recently picked up lifting. My ''revenge'' is that I'll be better off without her, even though she was the first.

[–]Keninishna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Red pull was easy for me and I didn't understand the anger phase but it's because I lost my virginity to a married chick. I had gone through the anger phase so early and some people may never get over it and I understand that.

[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to disagree...

By virtue of being an insensitive prick generally people who tend to fuck over other people end up fucking themselves. The question is whether they care or not. Some people are just brick headed and have no pain or angst receptors in their brain.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with your post 100%, that life isn't fair, and the ones who fuck you over will go on with their lives, oblivious to you. But, I hang onto old hatreds, never forget slights, and have a vindictive personality. Of course I realize that I can't actually act on my vindictive desires without incurring serious repercussions, but it makes me feel good to hold onto things. I fantasize about taking revenge by fucking someone over in a slightly subtle and insidious, albeit legal, way. Will I ever get that chance? Probably not. But, if the stars ever do so align, I will remember like it happened yesterday.

[–]Deep_Fried_Foreskin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's just one thing, OP. What happens when I become old and decide enough is enough? I'll have nothing more to lose. I could murder all of my enemies and everyone they love, laugh in their stupid faces as they suffer and die, and then off myself before anyone can touch me. There's nothing you can say that'll make me forget I'm mortal and will eventually have a foot in the grave.

[–]1R_E_D_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ain't gonna lie. That hurt like a motherfucker to read. Thanks for writing it though.

[–]pilledwillingly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your whole post explains 'The best revenge is a life well lived. ' Even though you said it was bullshit, I think that quote encapsulates TRP quite nicely. Get over it, move on. Live the life you want to live and forget about her.

[–]rajesh8162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what "walking away" TRULY means ! Be prepared to. Always.

[–]HAMMURABl 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Maybe on an individual level i may not get revenge - but on a global macro level, the cumulative impact of men e.g. not marrying/opting out/expatting will fuck up the western society and economy harder than i ever could by myself.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvacuu[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is true. The "just world fallacy" was interesting to read about, and really I don't think it was discussed as deeply as it could have been on wikipedia, because the idea underpins a lot of philosophies and religions. You make a good point that even if it does not apply at an individual level, it may very well be more applicable at a global level. It's something to keep in mind.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've known all my life that people get away with being shit, and are often rewarded for it. Just part of life. I can hate someone without being angry, or thinking about them, I just remember that they are never to be trusted and if an opportunity arises at some point to "get even" I might take it. Most times life handles that shit for me, because they are usually shitty people that make shitty choices. I don't go out of my way and I don't sit around thinking of things to possibly do. Too much shit to do in my life to concern myself with them. I have a number of people who honestly deserve a severe beating or death for what they did, but I'd rather watch them fuck up their lives.

Earlier last week my lying shortsighted 2nd wife drove past me in my driveway, honked and waved all friendly like. Not a smug ha I'm doing great and want to rub it in, but more of a hey I'd like to see you kind of wave. Yeah good luck bitch, you fucked up, hotter chicks get my cock now. I know she has been fucking things up in her life, she is going to be 33 and still lives with her parents because her 26 yo Bf can't stay employed due to being a member of the entitled generation, and also lives with his parents. Schadenfreude is one of my favorite words, if not the favorite.

The first wife is having a far worse time, and it's hilarious hearing about it from my daughter.

Do I worry about her or anyone else having karma take care of them? No, I just wait and they do it themselves. Meanwhile I'm building my life, myself and my home.

[–]Extraltodeus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to add a big HOWEVER to this.

I agree, life isn't fair and karma only has value on reddit. HOWEVER if you play your life in a non-total-asshole way and someone fuck you or act bad on you (: not retaliating on something you did) it means that they are playing dirty. Now OK one can get away with a dirty game BUT if they play dirty 'cause they're dirty, they will act bad on a lot of other persons. And it will surely fall back on their faces in some way. It might not. But people don't change a lot.

So, if you're chick got fucked by another dude and got a kid with him : there are chances that she will do it again. Eventually end up as a single mother (my mom did this, got 10 years of being single).

I got a teacher who HATED me. He eventually called my grandmother after my grandfather's death and told her that I was doing drugs (not true). Last time I saw him, he lost his job because he was drunk at school, shaved his head and became alcoholic.

A girl I know destroyed my last relationship : half of her friends befriended her because she was too much of an asshole.

An old friend stole things from me : his behavior went all the way to his job in banking. Stole 50k, got fired, sued, lost his appartment. Now he is living with his parents and doing burgers at McDonald. I also got a way to get my money back but that's another story.

Even my bullies in school ended up badly. One is a drug addict and the other commited suicide.

There is no karma or god or any bullshit about that. Just people being who they are.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Revenge for me seemed appealing until I realized that the people I was angry at were screwed anyway. I can name them all but they dont deserve it. One is a server in his 30s. And I've seen how servers get treated - they dont get paid very well either. He was a prick to me when we went to school together and he was looked at in a better light than I was but outside that environment, he WAS and IS worthless. That's my revenge.

I had a gf who cheated on me in high school. She ended up a single mother. I have no hate for her in my heart and I wish her and her kids the best.

A guy told me at my high school graduation that I had no heart, no personality and that I would never make it anywhere in life. More than 15 years later, the roles have changed. He was the guy people shitted their pants about in high school but now he's nothing. Towards the end, he knocked up some fat ugly chick. HAHAHAHAHAHA. And I was told he bounced around like 3 different colleges but never graduated. Too bad. He tried to reach out to me on Facebook recently but I just ignored him.

There was another who said the same things about me but outside that environment, he was nothing.

I worked at a gym in my early 20s where I spent the whole day picking dumbbells off the floor. My supervisor asked me one day to wipe the floors and actually clean up the dumbbells. I refused to do it and I got a yelling like I never got in my life. I was humiliated and I quit after I got the paycheck for that last week. And that was that. From what I heard, the guy was a piece of trash to everybody but was a kiss-ass to the boss (of course.) He probably still works there and is still as miserable as he was back in the day.

Look at WHO is wronging you and where. Look at what people are telling you. People will advertise to you that they're bad people. Get over your idealism and just see trash for what it is. Don't hang around trash unless you plan on becoming trash.

And don't fret over women. They tend to be fucked up in the head. They live in this bitchy backstab-to-get-what-I-want world that you don't really wanna be a part of. Another man WILL come around because that's just what men do. They would fuck anything that moves. Don't EVER get obsessed with one piece of ass. There's plenty to go around out there.

[–]MyReddit4 -1 points0 points  (5 children)

It's cool, the best revenge is success.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I keep hearing people say something along the lines of that. Isn't that kinda wishful thinking, though? Wouldn't throwing acid in the girl's face (for example) be a much better revenge? Lol!

Just saying, while we're on the subject of being honest with ourselves, lets be honest with ourselves.

[–]MyReddit4 1 point2 points  (1 child)

lol no. Success takes your attention off some dumb broad you're wasting time on. I'd take hard work paying off and $$$$ any day over that petty shit.

Why are you wasting time thinking about some girl, who isn't spending as much of a second on you? And when she does, it's probably about how you're some creepy, friendzoned, loser.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree. But the question isn't what would you or I do, but rather what would technically be a better revenge. Throwing some acid in someone's face seems to me a better revenge than basically no revenge at all, which is what "success" is tantamount to, if we're honest. Actually, virtually anything unpleasant act would be superior to that, right? Haha! Just being accurate!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Throwing acid is such a bitch move. That shit is sickening.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree completely, don't get me wrong.

[–]crispy3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

do you even know what aloof means

[–]LionLaw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Success is the best revenge"
Tyler The Creator

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