Field ReportFR - My story - She is not who you think she is, 15 years to find this out (the hard way) (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 2All_fixed_again

Summary This is not so much a field report but rather my own account of my unplugging, it will cover a time span of over 15 years so a little long. I think it’s important to create context so the first part is really dedicated to the story behind our meeting and marriage, the second part is the events leading up to the divorce. The experiences I have gone through have fundamentally rewired my psychology and how I see relationships and the opposite sex. Having read this sub daily, I think it is high time to give a little back to the community that crystalised what I already knew to be true.

Part 1 – The ultimate Beta provider

I met my ex-wife when I was 24 years old and she was 18, we both worked part time at a store in the capital city of an African country (one of the more developed ones). We were friends at first, I thought she was innocent and sweet, a little awkward but cute. Her father had passed away when she was 8, her mother was a teacher and ruled the house with an iron fist, very conservative and everyone pulled their weight in the household. I respected her mom, she was dealt a tough hand and made the best of a bad situation. I felt that a girl who had been brought up in that environment was bound to be good enough for me.

Our paths diverted when I finished my studies and started working full time, she remained working at the stationary store, struggling to help her mom pay the bills…very little future prospects, stuck in a rut.

2 years later, we bump into each other at a bar, we exchange phone numbers and started dating. She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me. She was ambitious and wanted to continue studying, she had taken a 1 year break after high school to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Financially strapped, she could not easily afford tertiary study. She had saved some money for her studies but nowhere near enough. She managed to secure a bursary/scholarship to one of the top universities (she was a smart girl) who paid for 50% of her studies. At this point, deep in a relationship with her and wanting her to be happy, I paid for the rest. (mistake 1)

2 years later. The political situation in our country had gone south and we make the decision to leave for the UK. I would go first and get settled, she would complete her last year of study and then move to the UK. Just prior to her moving, we got married…a spousal Visa was the only way to get her into Europe (mistake 2). I knew she loved me and I so deeply loved her, her innocence, her frailty, her vulnerability.

After she moved to the UK, she decided to change her career direction, she wanted to be a Software Engineer like I was but did not know where to start. We found a college that offered a 1 year Software Engineer qualification, she studied for a year, I paid for her studies and she lived with me rent free. She was my wife, my duty as her husband was to help her be successful so that one day, we could build a strong family unit and not struggle financially (mistake 3)

After a while the sex dropped off, I thought this was natural after being together for so long. We had sex once a month if that. I tried talking to her about it, it would be OK for a week or two and then we were back to where we started. I swallowed it…she was my wife, I loved her and our relationship was beyond sex (Mistake 4).

One day, after being sexless for approximately two months and missing the affection I so longed for, I found an e-receipt on my home computer from an online store for 3 dildos and some anal lube, they had been ordered several weeks back. I felt betrayed; she would rather have sex with plastic than with me? her loving husband that had given her everything. I went into our bedroom and found them hidden at the back of her sock draw. I did not have problem with her getting dildos, I just felt excluded…this was something we could have done together, she could have been open with me. She said she was going to surprise me and spice up our sex. We fought for a couple of days about this, but it passed…I loved her, I believed her…but I also realised, she was not attracted to me anymore (mistake 5).

After she finished her Software Engineering studies, I pulled some strings and got her a job as a junior developer working for the same company I worked for but in a different division. We had always had a joint bank account, the account where my salary had been going to, she had her own card for this account and I was finally happy that I was not going to be the only financial contributor to that account. 3 months after starting work she said she wanted her salary to go into a separate account and she would transfer “her share” into the joint account monthly….RED FLAGS suddenly started flying everywhere. I made it clear that I had been covering her ass for the last 4 or 5 years, there is 1 joint “family” account and her fucking salary would be going into the family account. Just like I was happy to do when she was contributing nothing. Her salary went into this account, but she opened a separate account where €200 would be transferred monthly to her….at this point, I am starting to feel fucked over…but I am her husband, we are a family, she loves me and I love her…nothing is going to break that….right?

2 years later, our bedroom still dead…we agree to have kids, our first son arrived in 2006. We decide to leave London to have a “fresh” start, I manage to secure a good position with a company in Germany, we sold our home in London (which I paid for) and moved…a new life in Germany.

In Germany, she stayed at home bringing up the kids, our second son arrived in 2008, we built a huge family home in an exclusive area in the town we stayed in. When the kids were old enough…she went back to work. I was happy, there was no sex but that was not important. We had a beautiful home, 2 smart kids, a great circle of friends, we were both working and had secure futures. Life was perfect…except, I knew she found me repulsive.

Part 2 – The downfall (Chad enters stage left)

She had been working for about 6 months. The year prior, she had dieted and lost substantial weight. She started looking after herself and I was happy for her, I complimented her every day, tickled and teased her…she laughed. I had always done regular exercise, while I was not ripped, I was by no means fat. One morning, after getting the kids ready and sitting them down for breakfast, I went upstairs to the bathroom…she was doing her face, I came up behind her, hugged her and whispered in her ear “you are looking so good, I can’t wait to get home tonight so we can have some alone time”. She said, “Perhaps if you weren’t so fat I would fuck you”. I said….nothing…shocked, I went downstairs, packed the kids in the car and drove them to kindergarten. For the first time...I started thinking about divorce. After all that we had been through, all our shared experiences..she blurted out such a hurtful thing so easily.

A month later, she did some online training for a week where a bunch of students sit in a virtual class room. A couple of days in, she tells me it is really cool, and one of the other students (Dave) is a really funny guy…I would love him if I ever met him. I think nothing of it.

That weekend, while on our Tablet at home, she had left her email account open. I noticed 20 emails between her and “Dave”. I click on the first one, the email history attached below…they are flirting. I confront her, she says they are just friends and he is in the UK...no danger. I tell her its not OK to be married and flirting with other guys…think of everything we have built up, the kids, the house…me. She cries and says it will stop.

I don’t trust her. I hack all her accounts and have access to her phone. She sends him an email the next day saying she loved her husband and they need to stop. He agrees.

Two days later, she initiates contact again with him and it escalated quickly, I see the email exchanges but let it develop, perhaps she will do the right thing. At dinner, I ask her if she has spoken to him again…she says no, that’s all history.

Five days later, its escalated…he is sending cock shots, she is sending vag shots to him via email. I again ask her if she has spoken to him. She says no, with an absolutely straight face but unable to look me in the eyes (well what do you know, my little angel is a really good lier). I tell her I think she is lying and ask her to show me her phone…she refuses. Then, admits it. She cries, she knows it was wrong…we agree to try again. Its only online right...think of the family, think of the house, the kids…our life together, our history. I mean… I was there to help her bury her mom when she passed,her pillar of support…didn’t that mean anything to her? She sends him an email saying they have to stop…he agrees.

Another 3 days pass, she initiates contact with him again, she is talking about how beautiful his cock is and she can’t wait to lick the cum off of it. Turns out my little princess is a raging whore that wants all her holes filled. Dave was good, he knew exactly what to say to get her wet…I read it all, each message kills me a little inside. I say nothing…perhaps she will figure out that this is wrong and come back to me. After 2 days of intense emails between the two, explaining how they plan to fuck each other…I have got to the point where I realise that I do not know this woman at all.

That night, I have said nothing…she is lying in bed next to me with her laptop. I pretend to be sleeping….she can’t see my eyes, I have a pillow over my head. I can see her screen. I pretend to be asleep, deep breathing...she opens her email account and starts typing...after 5 minutes I say “How is Dave?”…she slams the laptop shut, she denies it...I ask her to show me…she refuses, then admits it. I blow my top…WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE THINKING! She is going to risk this family for an internet fling with some prick in the UK?! The house, the kids, our friends circle…everything we have built up!!? She says she can’t help it….she needs this adventure. I tell her she has to make a decision..its me or Dave. She leaves and goes for a walk…crying. I go to bed; she comes home and sleeps in the other bedroom.

The next day, she sends Dave an email saying that she has to choose between her husband or him…and she chooses him. I was at work when I read this…it took a minute to sink in, I went to the bathroom, holding back tears, violently started vomiting, then passed out…I don’t know how long I was out for. I left work dazed and confused, went home and slept…

She got home, asked if I was OK…said I was fine, shaking, pale, dehydrated…I had not eaten in days. We started talking and I asked her if she had reached a decision? She said she wanted to stay and hold family together (the lying whore)…I pretended to be oblivious; she then suggested an open relationship. I told her to fuck off, I had self respect, if this is what she wanted then it was not over…she still wanted to fuck him. I knew it was over between us…if it was not Dave, it was only a matter of time before she was fucking someone else, I was starting to unplug.

The next day, I told her she had a divorce on her hands, the switch had gone off in my head. Having read the exchanges between her and Dave…I did not know this cunt at all and she was unpredictable. Everything I did now was focused on protecting myself and my kids. I immediately removed her from my bank account, contacted a lawyer and minimised all communication with her.

I took some extended holiday from work, I was not able to function. My concentration was shot. My day consisted of waking up, doing 200 pushups and 100 situps. I ran 10km every morning and 10kms in the afternoon. I would do push ups at every opportunity I had. At night, I would go out with a friend and we would hit all the bars in town. I needed distraction, I had serious IDGAF and for some reason (we all know this)….woman flocked to me. Over the next 8 weeks I would end up texting with about 12 different woman, they could not get enough. I was a 40 year old man at the time, on one of the first nights out I met 24 year HB9 hairdresser who could not keep her hands off me. Being out of the game for so long, I did not close…and in reality…I did not want to close. But it gave me hope for the future…this new life might not be all bad.

My soon to be ex wife saw this transformation and hated it, now that I had grown a set of nuts and took control of my own life, she detested it. Her Beta provider was disappearing (and somehow becoming attractive again)

I was still tapped into her accounts, she was making concrete plans to go fuck Dave in a hotel in London now that she was getting divorced, she had a free pass to fuck Dave. They were sending hundreds of messages to each other every day, describing what they were going to be doing to each other, things you would not want done to a farm animal…my little princess that I looked after like brittle porcelain was going to be A2M’ing Dave…nice. A close friend who I shared everything with told me to stop reading these messages, it was killing me. I said no, I needed to read this because they were cauterising the last set of feelings I had for this woman. I would stop, but only after I was done with the last step.

She told me she was going to London to visit her brother…I knew better. I told her I was not stupid and knew that she was planning this, she denied it. I knew what time they were meeting, what hotel they were staying at, I knew the room number, I knew that she had an appointment to have her Vag waxed the day prior to meeting him. Her cousin in London was to lie and say she was with her in case I called. I suspected she wanted to attempt a rescue after she came back from London. Little did she know.

We had a house together and this was on the market, it would take another 3 months before house got sold. She wanted me to move out…I told her to go fuck herself. She created this situation, she should move out. She wanted to sleep in the main bedroom...it was her room. I told her to go fuck herself…I paid for everything and she should move to the guest bedroom. Her car broke down, she called me…I told her to go fuck herself and call “Dave”. I had given her so much in the past and it would be a cold day in hell before she squeezed anything else from me.

For the sake of the kids at home, we were cordial with each other, parental duties continued as they were. We tried to keep life for the kids normal. We made arrangements to have house sold, agreed to divide up furniture and liquid assets…I just wanted out. Her trip to London was in about 6 weeks, during those 6 weeks, I was on an emotional roller coaster. My life consisted of running, pushups, situps, bars at night and meeting new people. I was content with my future one hour, the next hour I was curled up on my bed crying. During a low period I contemplated suicide, I came close, but how would my kids live knowing their father committed suicide...I stepped back from the ledge

She left for London, when she left, I told her not to fuck him with a smile on my face. She smiled and said that I was crazy and she was not meeting him. She continued denying it as she had done for the last few weeks. The night they met in London, I gave it a couple of hours then I called up the Hotel, I asked to be put to through to Mr Dave Thundercocks room. He answered….I said “Hi Dave, do me a favour, can I speak to Mrs All_fixed_now?”, he said ”sure, who should I say is calling?”…I waited 3 seconds then said “her husband”…he hung up. I then called her mobile, she answered…”all_fixed_now, why are you doing this, just leave me for tonight?”, I coldly said “just so you know that I’ m not as stupid as you currently look. I heard room 743 is really nice and I bet it has not seen as much action as it is seeing tonight. The only thing I want you to know is that you have lied to me for 15 years about who you really are…now, I know exactly who you are”….I hung up.

I was done and I felt nothing anymore. I was not angry, depressed, happy or sad…I was just empty. My close friend suggested I talk to someone to deal with the pain, I felt no pain…nothing. I remember talking to him saying that it felt like my psychology had been rewired over the last 8 weeks. My opinion of marriage, being a provider, the true nature of woman, what I would compromise for a woman and what I would not had completely flipped. I would never get married again, I would maintain my independence and I realised that woman aren’t these fragile little creatures that need to be looked after, it is in their best interests for you to believe that…but they are experts at deception.

She came back from London, as expected...there were tears, begged me to take her back. She tried to come onto me, get touching and affection. I pushed her back. I sat there coldly while she bawled, told me she loved me, for the sake of the kids, the house, our family, all the history we had together…she was distraught and so desperately wanted me back, my emotions felt tickled…only slightly. I sat back in my chair, looked at her coldly and then said “So Daves cock did not taste that good then did it”?...got up…and walked off.

I was done.

UPDATE - The Epilogue

Many of you have asked for an epilogue, how things turned out. While my original post was quite long, I will add a few more paragraphs to close off the loose ends. This all happened during the last quarter of 2011, from when I first discovered the flirting in October, to when she came back from London in November and to when I met my next LTR (a different post) in December. The house was sold in December 2011 but I only moved in February 2012 so we had a couple of more months living together in the house….I was not moving out.

After she came back from London, she made several attempts to fix things with me. She went from being nice, she tried appealing to my emotions, talking about the kids, she even tried climbing into my bed naked in the middle of the night. She was in emotional turmoil but I was so thoroughly disgusted by the person I now knew she was that I coldly and calmly rejected all of her advances. This usually resulted in anger from her, I walked away…did not care, I felt nothing. One night after her usual attempts and anger, she said that Dave was the best fuck she ever had….he made her cum 6 times that night, my response “good for you”.

After the veil of “love” had been lifted from her, the beauty I had seen in her disappeared. I saw her for the aesthetic wretch that she was, a HB5…a 6 on a good day. I was repulsed by her, even though I had never come across the RedPill at this point, I knew something had changed in me, something fundamental.

My life was now open ended, I could do anything I wanted and had no commitments to her, the only thing I needed to worry about was myself and my kids. After 15 years of being the sole breadwinner…it was liberating. The one thing I knew was that I did not want any more kids, I would likely be running around like a dog with two dicks and wanted to make sure that I was in control of choosing to have kids or not. I had a vasectomy in December and it was the best decision I ever made (and you will know why in my next post).

I realized that despite me having no feelings for this woman, she was still the mother of my kids and she needed to be OK for my kids. After all that she had done to me, I was fair to her and made sure she was OK to find her own place, get moved in and there was minimal impact to my kids…that’s the only thing that mattered.

In December 2011, I was juggling multiple women, I was out every night with friends or dates and I was looking for an apartment in the old town of my city. I scheduled a viewing to see an apartment I was interested in, waiting at the door…an attractive real estate agent comes up to me and introduces herself. She was 33 years old and extremely attractive, slim, dressed well and had beautiful blue eyes. We go inside and she starts showing me around, she asks why I am looking for an apartment, I let her know it’s a divorce…she starts telling me about her divorce. We spent 3 minutes looking at the apartment and the next hour talking about our failed relationships. She was open and honest, a breath of desperately needed fresh air. She was to be my next LTR.

I heard through the grapevine that my ex-wife went off the rails for a few months. On the weekends that the kids were with me, she would apparently go out with “friends” and fuck anything that moved. Apparently she even had a couple of Lesbian encounters. Over the next 3 months, she introduced 2 men to the kids, guys that stuck around for a couple of weeks. After the second one disappeared off the scene, I told her to settle the fuck down and find a new man and stick with it. I did not want a revolving door of men coming and going out of my kids life, if the kids were introduced to one more man that was only there for a couple of weeks…she would find herself in court and I would look for custody.

6 months later, the ex-wife met another guy and she has been with him ever since. Tall, balding on top with a pony tail, skinny but with a fat stomach, only drinks Soda’s and Red Bull, absolutely no dress sense. My friends have told me she downgraded…as long as she is happy I don't care. He is BB through and through and a “nice guy”, he is good to my kids and teaches them right from wrong, he is not a negative influence on them. They stick around for a coffee when they pick-up or drop-off the kids, we do birthday party’s together and there is no anger.

My ex-wife continues to be extremely “nice” to me, she tries to help and make my life easier, I put it down to her guilt nerve still twinging in the back of her neck.

Oh...and she has put all the weight back on. I am in the best shape of my life (thanks to TRP's lifting advice)

Lessons Learned:

• You think you know your little snowflake? You don’t know her at all. If you think she is a snowflake, it’s because that’s what she wants you to believe. It serves her purpose

• Don't be a Beta provider – Does not matter how lost she feels, does not matter how much your caretaker instinct tells you to help. She will not appreciate it in the future, the only thing she appreciates is what happens now (Brifaults law).

• Don’t be a begging Beta, if she does not want to have sex with you then don’t beg, you can’t negotiate this shit. Be the guy she wants to fuck, and if it’s not her…then it’s another one of the lined up woman. My current response to a dead bedroom shit test is “You don’t control my sex life, you either keep me happy or I get someone else to keep me happy”

• If she cheats - the only thing that can be rescued is your self respect, GTFO and show no emotion

• Some people on this forum say "dont get married", I would take it a step further and say dont ever get yourself into LTR situation with a woman where you cant walk away at the drop of a hat. Maintain independence, have no dependents.

Edit 1 Geezuz guys!!! my first serious post and you guys give me nearly 1000 upvotes and you toss fucking gold at me?!

Edit 2 By popular request, I have closed off my story with a small Epilogue. How things turned out.

Edit 3 For my next post I plan to talk about the lessons learned from my next LTR (the real estate agent). That relationship is about to end.

Edit 4 Link to my follow-up post I did a while back https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3kdu83/fr_she_is_not_who_you_think_she_is_again/?st=iz7634qi&sh=78ff16ba

[–]cheeky--kunt 413 points414 points  (54 children)

This was almost painful to read, becasue you had many red flags pointed out and ignored them, but at the same time, liberating to see a man being unplugged for life.

Also you have children and responsibility. Something that she is not capable of. Godspeed. Wealth, health and loyal mates to your life and children.

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 171 points172 points  (48 children)

Thanks and I know, the red flags were everywhere. If I had known about the Redpill in my youth, I would have walked at the first sign of trouble. As they say...you are never to old to learn

[–]Lunchbox_Larry 154 points154 points [recovered]

This is the hardest fucking part.

Husband: Are you happy with your life? Our beautiful, healthy children? Our big home, and all your nice things?

Wife: Yes, Yes, Yes

But behind the smile, she's booored and actually resenting it all and seeking thrills and tingles again. It's brutal.

[–]ShuffleUp 49 points49 points [recovered]

She is happy with all that stuff. It's just that she wants those things and Dave thundercock in addition to all that. She would have done everything she could to keep beta provider and Dave all in the picture. When she got upset was not because she was feeling guilty, wrong, or remorseful but because she was asked to choose.

[–]aphelion3342 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely correct.

[–]HighOnLife 62 points62 points [recovered]

Men are equally destroyed and unhappy from the arrangement. Suburbia is repulsive. It's almost getting me to believe the theory that the family entity was created to 'farm' people. Getting people married to have more and more children that are just additional tax and economic units of production.

[–]anecdotal 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The red pill eventually starts to reveal all aspects of the matrix we live in.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Yes. Imagine people instead of living in cities living in rural conditions, smaller towns where they are mostly independent. Imagine these people are able to grow most of their own food and take care of their own.

The people in this given example would consume far less from external sources than someone living in the city. It is in corporations best interests to get people hooked on as many things as possible.

You need these things, and more than that they don't last very long! So you buy a thing, and then have to re-buy it many more times!

Yes, the common man are economic units of production to consume and to accrue debt, nothing more.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's less about profit for corporations and more about economic productivity being paramount to inter-nation competition in a post-nuke world.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah totally, should read corps/governments, they are essentially merging together now days what with the revolving door between government and corporate positions.

[–]Catabisis 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow. Well said. I have said for a long time that the people at the top impose moral rules on the populous to better control them.

[–]cheeky--kunt 65 points66 points  (20 children)

Don't lose hope, nor feel bad. You have ended up here, the last sane place on earth. You are (?) 40 wishing you knew trp 10 years ago. I am 30 wishing I knew trp 10 years ago. Even teen guys in 20 wish they knew trp sooner.

I admire your skills to get work in other country, even to be able to start from scratch there. Don't bend, ascend.

[–]DRHipsterFaggot 19 points20 points  (6 children)

can confirm.. 25, wish i found trp 10 years ago

[–]The_BeardedGentleman 37 points38 points  (1 child)

can confirm.. 25, wish my dad found trp 40 years ago.

[–]kfpswf 5 points5 points [recovered]

The same here. 28, wish I was aware of TRP a decade ago.

[–]1PrinceofSpades 26 points27 points  (12 children)

Can confirm; if (and its a bigger if every day girl) I ever have children, they are receiving the alpha red pill talk somewhere around early middle school. Say what you will, but middle schoolers are smart and evil little fuckers, and that period of time shapes your life up until you get one chance to re-create it in college (and even then you have to know you need to change by then, most who need it don't, which is exactly how I made so much money life coaching my peers once I got it together over the course of sophomore and junior years of college). I would have killed to have a father figure properly teach me a basic version of red pill I could use to shape myself at the start of the 6th grade, then have advanced concepts trickle in as I went along.

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 46 points47 points  (8 children)

My two boys are about are about 8 and 9. Their education has already started

[–]TaeTaeDS 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Do you think they have any idea what happened?

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

My older one is smart and pretty mature for his age. I think he knows that mommy did something wrong. One day, when they are of age...and if they ask me to tell them, I will.

[–]rpkarma 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dad told me. I wasn't "supposed" to tell my younger brothers (they were 15 and 16), but I did. My brothers and I have a super strong relationship now, and we all have an even stronger one with our dad, despite the lies and bullshit my mum attempt to feed them. It was all her, and we all know it, but none of us make a big deal about it. It is what it is, and women are what women are. That conversation introduced me to TRP before there was a TRP.

[–]jewishclaw 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That's the fucked up thing about life in my observation. If you're willing to walk away, legitimately ready, you rarely have to. This goes for relationships with women, but it also goes for just about every other social interaction too - from buying a car to negotiating your salary to making friends.

[–]limenuke 2 points2 points [recovered]

What do you do from here on out? Take full custody of kids and spend all your time with them? How will you manage your partners?

Take half custody and enjoy personal time?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Speaking of red flags:

She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me.

If only OP had known...

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The problem here is that every woman of any sort of quality will be with someone. If you want a woman with any kind of attractiveness, she will have some kind of placeholder you will have to out-compete.

Even virgins have preferences and are able to make comparisons.

[–]dapperbrogrammer 708 points709 points  (32 children)

Jesus, that's enough red pill for today.

[–][deleted] 230 points230 points

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[–]S74RK 60 points61 points  (4 children)

Your comment makes me realize how I scan TRP before I start my day. It's like building up the immune system before going out to be exposed to the various plagues of society. It doesn't take much to keep me healthy, but it does take a daily dose. The torrent of beta logic and expectations is unrelenting.

Yeah I think this as well. To add onto it, by spending time on these forums, I am trying to consciously de-condition myself from 2+ decades of bullshit. It's one thing to read the side bar once; it's another to expose your brain to TRP examples and theory day after day (and from others' perspectives) until it sinks into your subconscious and you start "getting it" when you're out and interacting with others.

[–]1Halfjor 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Absolutely. You have to let it slowly and consistently sink in if you really want it to take hold. You can't red pill blitzkrieg your mind.

[–]Tom_The_Human 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I've had a few times over the year of my Red Pill existence when I've not looked at TRP for a week or two, and each time I've gone a bit beta. Repeated self indoctrination is absolutely necessary to block out society's bullshit.

[–][deleted] 12 points12 points

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[–]The_BeardedGentleman 18 points19 points  (6 children)

women are terrible at the don't shit where you eat rule. They seem to love fucking every coworker they can get their hands on, with complete disregard for the job itself.

[–]ceo_greasyduck 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Uhhh...shouldn't that apply to the men that are screwing them as well?

[–]Catabisis 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No doubt. By brother married and divorced a woman he worked with in a factory. For 30 years he has to be reminded of her

[–]BowlOfCandy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Check out my post Plasticity. It's all about conditioning, our habits and way of functioning is plastic.

[–]Alarid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't pay for anything beyond my own expenses, and I'm fucking rolling in money compared to all the guys I know who chased girls instead of their own goals.

[–]rashnull 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Reading your story gave me this heavy sinking feeling that I haven't felt for while (my recent breakup). You have come to the only place I know of that will show you how to heal and never get messed up again. Take care of your kids and yourself.

[–]laere 31 points32 points  (1 child)

My mind was fucking blown. Side bar this shit.

[–]bakbakgoesherthroat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The cool thing is that, that feeling eventually goes away.

[–]magnetic_web 120 points120 points [recovered]

The amount of discomfort this thread caused was alarming, even with the acquired knowledge from this sub. As someone cautiously entering an LTR, this was a great head check.

Thanks for sharing.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Don't pay her shit buddy, keep your bread. Make her buy shit as much as you can. If she walks, better off for you.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Advice : write yourself a caution e-mail. List all the reasons why you should not do what NOW you know you don't want to do (get married for instance). She WILL try to make a big shit inside your head so this document will help you to think straight when tough decisions will need to be made.

[–]ShanksNes 94 points95 points  (86 children)

Great post. I do want to ask you a question. Given what we know of redpill now, is fatherhood worth it? This is the last piece of the puzzle for me.

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 107 points108 points  (47 children)

Thats a tough question, I love my kids and they are currently top priority in my life. Fatherhood is worth it and I would not trade it for the world. But, if you plan to have kids with a woman, you absolutely need to make sure that you know who she is...looking at her through a redpill lense. If I had done the same at the start of our relationship, I would never have had kids with her...as much as I love them. Perhaps I would have met another woman earlier that would have been more worthy.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (9 children)

I love kids. I really want kids. But then I read stories like yours, and just yesterday I was reading through this story (21F finds out her mom has been lying about her father [fake molestation claims among them] and paternal grandparents for 18 years so she can have sole custody). I really thing best option is to have biological child through surrogacy, and if I can afford it that's the route I'm going.

[–]charlesbukowksi 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I'm with you, but why do you want to have kids?

Do you see yourself as a parent already, for your future self?

[–]amidonemessedup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I want the future generations to be blessed with redpill genes. thats it

[–]Tofitrightin 22 points22 points [recovered]

One ironic thing about all these "don't have kids" posts, is that kids are pretty awesome. I'm lucky in that I found a worthy woman by chance. It could have gone your way too as while I was "semi" plugged in, nothing like this existed in the early 90's to caution you.

[–]Adach 7 points8 points  (8 children)

Can you elaborate a bit more on analyzing her through a redpill lense? Obviously AWALT, so doesn't that imply that it's kind of a lost cause?

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Well, there were between the line things in the first 5 years of our marriage:

  • Daddy issues - She saw me as her daddy, her dad died young so she desperately wanted someone to look after her...but dads aren't attractive.

  • Morphing - She did not have much of a personality, hobbies, passions of her own. After a couple of years I noticed that she was mimicking me, from telling my jokes, using my sense of humour, even following the same career path as me.

  • She always says she felt bad about withdrawing money out of our common account, but happily and regularly did it.

  • She would regularly hamster any responsibility. We once drove into London, I let her drive and while looking down at my phone, she drove into the back of someone. Her first reaction was to blame me for distracting her, then blame me for not warning her. The second example, a small thing. I filled up the dishwasher, she was emptying it out and slightly cut her finger on a knife as she was doing it...she screamed at me for not filling the dishwasher right. The last and craziest one, she blamed me for her mothers death at one point, her mom was 10,000km away and died of natural causes but I was somehow responsible because I "forced" her to come to the UK. When she came back from London and she was trying to fix things, she tried to make me take some responsibility for the break-up of our marriage. My response, you guessed it.."go fuck yourself"

  • A generally depressive person - someone who was an emotional leech, trying to keep her happy was a full time job. Not worth it.

[–][deleted] 9 points9 points

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[–]Tofitrightin 8 points8 points [recovered]

I've pondered more than once "if I could go back, would I" and no I wouldn't. It helps that my kids are pretty good kids.

[–]fruguy 7 points7 points [recovered]

No you wouldn't have had kids?

[–]BleachedWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No I wouldn't go back and change things => Yes, I would still have kids

[–]ilikesquash2 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That is a hard question to answer! I would do anything for my child! I love her so much it is the only absolute love i have ever experienced! Being a father also showed me what real true love is. Now ask if i could go back and not get married (but still have my child, I would never give her up) I would not get married in a hart beat!

[–]Catabisis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not sure about the rest of your quote, but I can assure you that, as a fatherless boy growing up, good dads involved in a child's life is desperately, desperately needed.

[–]Catabisis 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The true red pill for choosing a woman you find really interesting is keep something on the side that you know will never be in your future, then study the interesting one like an honors student without having sex. You will see the red flags much better. Study the siblings too.

[–]docbloodmoney 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Fatherhood isn't necessarily a problem, it's the government institution of marriage that is a disaster. I would gladly have and raise children if something drastically changed in our society.

[–]BeautyQuark 13 points14 points  (6 children)

As another fellow married (now RP, still married at the moment, wife has not cheated) guy of almost 2 decades this is the hardest question to answer. My children are wonderful, but my wife, and her family fucked them up when I was working an off shift and going to school full-time. It has taken me YEARS to undo most of the damage. This was my fault as my wife has been faithful, but she was abused as a child and I ignored the red-flag.

Considering the above I cannot imagine my life another way as I am happy with who I am and where I am. However, I strongly advise my oldest son to stay away from any girls with an LTR in mind. I encourage him to work towards his happiness and building a life that will let him achieve his goals. I also point out RP knowledge indirectly about women, and he agrees with the information from experiences he has seen.

In the end if I had to do it all over again, and still have my kids? I would have waited until my mid-thirties to early forties before starting my family. However, I would have been going into it with eyes wide-open.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (5 children)

I would have waited until my mid-thirties to early forties before starting my family.

I'm 35 and I ain't doing it. I see human nature and I'm repulsed by it. Calling humans viruses is not far-fetched.

[–]BeautyQuark 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I can't fault that one bit. Any man that has kids will pay a very high price, one way or another.

[–]deepfriedcocaine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I figure I'm fine from a biological perspective if one of my brothers reproduces.

[–]SpawnQuixote 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Besides women, kids are the #1 way for the government to get into your business. I would refrain because the government is really ramping up the "getting into your business" business.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In a depressing-as-fuck thread, this made me chuckle.

[–]RedSugarPill 41 points42 points  (11 children)

Thanks for sharing, OP.

What amazes me is that, for women, the urge to cheat on the father of their children can be so great, that they are willing to risk their families to get a single strange dick for a night. Once a completely irrational and selfish decision has been made, they sometimes cannot scare themselves from causing family destruction.

No self control is an understatement, but paradoxical as well: The woman had enough self control to lose weight, but not enough to pause and consider the consequences of her actions for a night of passion. Amazing.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (2 children)

This is pretty much the "married version" of "Michael's Story" in the sidebar. Fine storytelling, and welcome back to dignity. We've been waiting for you.


[–]sumdumguy-throwaway 149 points149 points [recovered]

newbs: an exercise for you: explain why these are red flags:

She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me.

she had taken a 1 year break after high school to figure out what she wanted to do with her life

I paid for her studies and she lived with me rent free.

After a while the sex dropped off

[–]blacwidonsfw 63 points64 points  (1 child)

  1. Branch swinger, you are just the next branch

  2. Incapable of making important decisions and likely to get bored easily. Also hints at a lack of spine. Aka "goes with the flow". Aka goes with the cock.

  3. BB, sees you as something she has and can exploit not something she desires

  4. If she's not sexing you it's someone else.

[–]S74RK 38 points39 points  (0 children)

There were more, though perhaps more subtle red flags:

Her father had passed away when she was 8

An absent father leads to father issues. Obviously this is not her fault in any way. Life's just shitty like that.

she remained working at the stationary store, struggling to help her mom pay the bills…very little future prospects, stuck in a rut.

After the OP included this detail, I could see the rest coming a mile away, with regards to financials.

Again, neither of these are the girl's fault. But they are red flags nonetheless, and if you want to see reality for what it is and protect your best interests, you acknowledge them.

As a counter-point, I was very hesitant a while back to go out with this girl who was clearly financially troubled. But she was still willing to save up her money to split bills at my request, and in return I was very happy to suggest lower cost (or free) venues. This is one of the few examples of when a girl can turn a red flag around. But for all I know she was playing for some kind of long con (split the meals, get the house ;)

Cheers to the OP for sharing such a harrowing experience. He was fine before her... And 15 years later... He'll be fine without her.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)


What is this?

[–]1London-Bananas 74 points75 points  (14 children)

2 is actually legit and better than starting immediately racking up debt studying medieval literature or something. But on the other hand it's not debt if BB OP pays

[–]FuriousMouse 69 points70 points  (7 children)

When a girl tells you she needs to "figure out what she wants" she is saying she is going to ride the CC.

[–]1London-Bananas 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Isn't that much more effective in college though? I mean it always seemed to me this was the main reason they "study" these bullshit courses anyways.

[–]fliphopanonymous 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Probably not more effective in college, just more expensive. There are plenty of guys in and not in college who would love to take a young girl home and they wouldn't even ask (or care) if she was in college. Hell, he ran into her at a bar...

[–]A_DERPING_ULTRALISK 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Or maybe she doesn't have daddy to pay for her college?

[–]Seishuu 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Meh. In this case taking a year off can be legit ; I'm doing it right now and I'm a guy. Plus, riding the CC is very possible while in college.

[–][deleted] 17 points17 points

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[–]Turkerthelurker 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This was my thinking. The year off college isn't a red flag in itself.

[–]1PrinceofSpades 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I'd strongly argue it is more of a flag in the states (at least the wealthier areas where even the high school retards end up at community college), but it really depends more on financial situation or rare & pressing matters that can come up more than anything else. It is only a flag if neither of those things are present. At least in OP's story this wasn't a flag based on the back story he gave.

[–]collidoscope 47 points48 points  (10 children)

I don't see a problem with #2...  

2 years later, our bedroom still dead…we agree to have kids  

This however...

[–]ell000 35 points36 points  (3 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]collidoscope 9 points10 points  (2 children)

You can still do all that while you're in college...

[–]199639 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes and many women do, but to forsake any career development, any educational development, any kind of building at all means she chose what's fun and easy right now over a future. It shows a lack of willpower and a selfish, hedonistic personality. These are the same traits that lead to her chasing Dave's cock all the way to London. This is why it's a red flag for ltr.

Now personally I don't believe you should ever settle into an ltr, so these "red flags" don't matter to me, but that's where I differ from many others here.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

sucking cock while earning a degree vs. sucking cock while earning nothing

[–]Kill_Your_Ego 28 points29 points  (4 children)

She had taken a year after high school to inhale as much cock as possible. Definitely a red flag. If you can speak to people who knew her around this time, other girls, and get them a bit drunk then talk about those "fun years" and find out AWALT.

In case you are still confused about that.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Regarding #2:

The first thing that came to my mind was CC. However, it might have been something different (:

[–]Mouthpiece 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As soon as I saw number one, I was practically shouting at my computer screen: "bail out! Bail out!"

Sounds like OP has learned all the hard lessons in the most painful way, but now has his life back on track. I look forward to part two, the update. Hopefully it'll be a little more cheerful than this one was.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me.

Branch swing. She dropped the boyfriend (=the provider) so what she branch-swinged for was a better provider (=blue pill beta husband provider material)

she had taken a 1 year break after high school to figure out what she wanted to do with her life


I paid for her studies and she lived with me rent free.

Provider (or idiot, or both)

After a while the sex dropped off

At least I got the ring and the children, now I have the power and I don't even have to give him sex anymore.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

#1 Branch-Swinging Intensifies

#2 The very famous time off to "figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life" a.k.a riding the carousel until her vagina was split in half

#3 Being this much of a beta-provider hurts to read, but we've all been there. Props to op for growing massive testicles over the course of 8-10 weeks (I think).

#4 She is disgusted at the thought of having sex with her beta provider, she isn't attracted to him and she is most likely fucking someone else again

[–]TYRONE_LOVES_KFC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1.Branch swinging.

  1. Is a valid reason.

  2. That's being a beta provider. She starts taking you for granted.

  3. Why would anybody stop sex if they find their SO attractive?

[–]1independentmale 90 points91 points  (16 children)

She wanted me to move out…I told her to go fuck herself.

She wanted to sleep in the main bedroom...it was her room. I told her to go fuck herself…

Her car broke down, she called me…I told her to go fuck herself and call “Dave”.

Bravo!! This is how it's done.

I was married for 15 years. My ex never worked a day, I paid for everything. She treated me like shit, rarely fucked me, didn't respect me, didn't appreciate me and just like you, I reached my breaking point and quit giving a fuck. As the marriage failed, she also demanded I sleep on the couch and tried to kick me out of my home, but I quickly realized that I held all of the power and refused to go anywhere. She screamed, she cried, she made demands and threats and ultimatums... I remained unmoved. Eventually, we went through the process of divorce and she moved out. It was hell, but I'm a better man for having gone through it.

I wonder, how is your ex doing these days? My experience has been that women who pull this shit turn out way worse off in the end. After they burn through the settlement money and the spousal & child support runs out, they wind up broke and destitute while the ex husband moves on to bigger and better things. Maybe it's because the men I work and hang out with are all relatively high earning professionals... My ex has been gone about 3 years. She's still single, she's working for minimum wage, struggling to make ends meet. The six figures in cash she walked with are long gone, pissed away on frivolities. I take no joy in this, though I do find satisfaction that she now knows I was the best she'll ever have. Stupid bitch threw away a six figga nigga who blindly loved her in spite of herself.

[–]rossiFan 44 points45 points  (3 children)

Not OP, here, but I was in an identical situation 6 years ago. My ex is homeless. She has been married and divorced. She is broke. She has had two cars repossessed. She has run out of people to mooch off of, including churches and family. My kids don't ever want to see her, but for their sake, they do go spend the night with her at her aunt's house twice a month. It's always less than 24 hours. I've always been able to make just about as much money as I wanted to; work/life balance was the only constraint. For her, 4500sq ft houses and brand new SUVs every two years was the norm.

Like your ex, she cashed out the retirement settlement and blew it all in short order - without paying the IRS. In the audit, they found more fraud, and stuck it to her. She tried to claim my kids on a tax return, and was busted because I filed first, and was within the law.

The shit train will continue to ride over her because: karma, that's why.

[–]CharlieIndiaShitlord 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Karma is a beautiful concept, but unfortunately it isn't real.

Those we often wish bad karma upon, are the kind of people who will fuck themselves over regardless.

[–]RedditArgument 23 points24 points  (0 children)

True, however if you consider it from less of a 'mythical force' concept and instead more of a cause and effect concept it often does work.

She spent her life mooching and overspending while improving nothing of herself and creating a way of life lacking any ounce of forbearance. Karma doesn't magically punish her because she was bad, it punishes her as a result of her own stupidity and lack of self-control.

Karma is just a quicker way of saying "they did stupid/evil shit, and that stupid/evil shit had consequences." Like you said they're quite effective at fucking themselves over, no cosmic intervention necessary.

[–]real-boethius 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Her car broke down, she called me…I told her to go fuck herself and call “Dave”.

This happens all the time with divorced friends . The ex rings up "Can you pave my back yard?"

What part of "we're divorced" don't you understand?

After they burn through the settlement money

I know three women currently doing this. Treating capital built up over many years as current income. People wonder why the savings rate in this country is zero. The women are spending the money and the men are paying "child support" and official alimony.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 12 points13 points  (0 children)

During my BP days, I dated a single mother of two kids who was collecting child support from the daddy. A large sum of that child support money went into my gut in the form of high end sushi. I'd literally watch her pull out her CS Visa card to pay for dinner.

Poor bastard. Oh, well, that's what he gets for marrying.

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

During the Dave Phase and for about 3 months after, she had the typical "I dont need no man" attitude. The world was her oyster now that she was rid of me....which was fine. I sat back sipping my Vodka Tonic and watched the train wreck unfold. She got to a point where reality kicked in. She was a HB5 single mother with 2 kids, the rich hunks weren't exactly lining up at the door...she settled, with another BB who was happy to commit.

..and I am not sure how much of the settlement she has already blown. I have seen her make some nonsensical financial decisions but hey...thats not my bag!

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points

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[–]1independentmale 18 points19 points  (4 children)

You don't. I lost about 2/3rds. Entire 401k plus many other assets in exchange for the equity in the home, which she had no hope of ever making the payments on anyway.

She tried to demand the home. I said, "Great! You can have it. I'll take the 401k and the other assets. In six months when the bank forecloses because you can't make the payments, I'll buy it at the foreclosure auction for half its value. Please, please, please take the home."

(Really, I wanted it and was willing to buy her out of it. She caved.)

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]1independentmale 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Depends on the person. Each of us will have a different answer to that question. For some, the risk of a break up and child support payments are worth it. For others, they may not be. It also depends on the woman you choose to be the mother of your children. While my wife was decidedly crazy, I got lucky in that she's a decent mother who loves her children and knows they need their father too. As a result we didn't fight over them at all. We split custody 50/50 and there have been no arguments or problems around this. Other men are not so lucky. If a woman wants to take your children away from you, it's relatively easy for her to do so. Many times she will turn them against you while using them to extract every last cent of wealth she can.

I've pondered the question of my own children many times. If I had things to do all over again, would I have kids? I don't think I would, to be honest. My marriage would have dissolved far sooner if it weren't for the kids (I stayed for them) and I'm pretty sure I'd have been better off dumping that nutcase a long, long time ago. That being said, now that I do have kids, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love them so much. I would die for them without hesitation.

So what's a RP man who wants children to do? I'd find a suitable girl, LTR her, move her in with me, keep all assets separate and see how things go. I'd buy the house and pay for all living expenses so there would be no question who it belonged to in the event of a breakup. If everything is still peachy three-ish years in, then I'd go ahead and have children with her. I would definitely not marry, I would paternity test (always), and I would demand the child takes my last name well in advance. I may also consider some sort of agreement stipulating joint 50/50 custody in the event of a breakup, but I don't know if there is a legal way to do that - would have to discuss it with a family law attorney.

I've no idea how possible it would be to find a decent woman willing to play by these rules. From what I've found, they really want to be married. I can't blame them for this, it's a huge security blanket & free ride for them with the majority (if not all) of the risk and expense shouldered by the man. Unfortunately, at my age (mid thirties now) marriage is completely off the table. I absolutely must have the ability to walk away from a relationship without giving up everything I've worked so hard to build. I lost so much in my divorce; I can't afford to make that mistake again.

[–]DistantWinter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not trying to hijack the thread, but I see a lot here about having kids and not getting married. I added context instead of hard points for reference.

I was in a 15 year LTR and have three children with her. Her child from the previous life came with the package.

This is how I did it:

Six months after the birth of my first born I was getting hammered on getting married. By her, my parents, her parents, and friends. I bought her an engagement ring from the mall and gave it to her in the parking lot of the mall and told her this is her engagement ring. I didn't ask her to marry me I just gave her the ring to shut her up. I had no intentions of marrying her. None.

I avoided the conversation of marriage. I'd bag on it when ever I hear statistics. Talk about how bad it must have been after watching time and again her relatives get divorced. I really downplay it's importance. Don't get it wrong though. We fought hard about it. I never moved from my position of lets wait and see. Every fight set back any talks of marriage.

I would never co sign anything. Her credit was horrible and I made it very clear I would never put her name on credit until she improved it on her own. This gave me great leverage when buying anything. Side note and out right brag: When she left her credit score was 482 mine is 772. I never shared a bank account or loan until I purchased the new home. We never ever co mingled finances. Her money was hers and mine was mine.

Here is what you need to know:

In my state since I was never married I have/had no legal rights to my children this has no bearing on child support. She has "Custodial Rights" to the children and could do what ever she wanted when ever. This was step number one legally called a custody agreement. Talk to a mens rights lawyer that is licensed in your state.

Since we shared the loan for the home I had to pay her half the equity of the home and refinance in my own name. This was step two called short sale. Think of it like this. In the eyes of the court since I wasn't married to her it was as if you and I partnered up and bought a home, but now you want to sell me your half of the home and move on.

Do not ever under any circumstances co mingle financial accounts. Many reasons, but the best is if this goes south you are protected.

Here is where it gets interesting:

Matters of my loves:

I had to get paternity tests to prove paternity and my name had to be on the birth certificates before the judge would validate the custody agreement. There are a lot of caveats in a custody agreement, but the main thing is she cannot move my children from the three county area without my or the courts consent. My lawyer put in an injunction ASAP from letting her leave the state over 24 hours and it was approved before the custody agreement was even looked at. This was key, because my ex did kidnap my kids and take them out of state without my knowledge. Side note: She did this with her other child too.

Matters of the home:

She came to me and wouldn't negotiate a time line of paying her for the home. She wanted her money now. Her exact words "Fuck you. Give me my money I want out." My response "One thing you are forgetting. You and I were never married so I don't have to give you shit and who ever is coaching you forgot this bit of information." Seeing her face drop was priceless and I'd pay to see that again.

Since I wasn't married legally I didn't have to sell the home due to pending divorce. I had all the time in the world to pay her half of the equity.

Matters of finance:

Upon leaving she didn't get half of any of my retirement accounts. No finances were co mingled so no accounts to get drained or ran up. The cars were in my name. Her college loans were in her name only. I wrote her a check for her equity and she signed the sale of the home contract. She blew through it in 4 months.

Legally everything in the house was mine now. The cars are mine. All the monies are mine. My children were legally mine and I have 50/50 custody. I pay child support, but it's a fair amount. I carried none of her debt and she packed her shit in an envelope and moved out.

This was a painful walk and looking back you'd think this was a well thought out plan. Nope. It was pure, dumb luck. I only headed the wise mans advice and never got married. Would I do it all over again? Yes.

Edit: I use a lot of absolutes like, never and always. I'm working on it.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

"If you think she is a snowflake, it’s because that’s what she wants you to believe. It serves her purpose"

They all try so hard to put on the demure snowflake act in the beginning. It is really laughable.

[–]1aguy01 11 points12 points  (1 child)

She lies about being worthy of commitment, so the guy has to lie about considering her for commitment. The game of plate spinning.

[–]kempff 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Beautifully written:

  • Paragraphs delineate the logical units of the story.
  • A minimum of rhetorical fluff, in particular no teenager/college-boy argot.
  • Sparing use of textual formatting.

Now that your kids are reaching puberty you may find /u/IanIronwood's work useful, The Red Pill Primer for Boys.

[–]real-boethius 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agree. It was long but well written and didn't seem long.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)


What is this?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 14 points15 points  (9 children)

How could you agree to have kids after so many red flags?

More importantly, why on Earth did you agree to have kids after 2 years of dead bedroom?

Two kids, for that matter? Just... how?

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (7 children)

One thing I always told my last LTR was that I wouldn't have kids. She'd always go "whyyyyyyyy? They're so cute" or whatever.

I'd always respond with "you do know that you have to have sex to have kids, right?" Turns out there was plenty of sex happening, just not with me.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Twice a year: once on your birthday and once on your anniversary...isn't that how it always works for married people?

[–]reddishman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why would anyone get married then !

Reason#223563 to not get married.

[–]redzorp 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Damn. What a story! Thank you for sharing this.

Too bad you had to go through all that but better late than never for TRP. Hopefully many of the younger guys on here will learn through your experience and never fall into the delusion.

Most Important Advice:

"Some people on this forum say "dont get married", I would take it a step further and say don't ever get yourself into LTR situation with a woman where you cant walk away at the drop of a hat. Maintain independence, have no dependents."

[–]zulficar313 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This one dug deep as I was reading it. I hope you use the pain constructively now. I can't imagine having to unplug after a 15 year relationship. Good on you. On to bigger and better.

[–]1PrinceofSpades 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Ahhh, every time I find my way stumbling back here and find myself in one of these threads, it makes me truly greatful that I unplugged at such an early age long before letting myself get married.

While I deeply feel for your struggle and losses OP, I want you to know your contribution to men everywhere will not go unnoticed. Evidence leads to change. The more of it we have access to, the more of it we can use to strengthen ourselves. It is surprisingly easy to catch oneself falling back towards old habits and allowing new female 'friends' to be perceived as "this time she's gotta be different."

Then one goes and refreshes their redpill mentality, applies it during the next hangout/date with said new girl, and it results it some of the best sex one's had in months, all because you couldn't give a single fuck about her suddenly, and you are (for the time being) forever unobtainable to her (you know, despite the fact you just had sex, not that that is hard to do with just about anyone in this day and age).

Seriously, thank you for posting this. I know writing about what was probably the worst thing in your entire life (it was 15 years of it, after all) isn't easy, but without contributions like this, less people would ever wake up to the truth of today's world (thanks technology!).

Spot on lessons learned. Maintain independence, have no dependents is a golden mantra. If you go down the LTR route, make her work Every. Single. Day. to keep YOU around. Enough said. Women, in my experience, are much hornier then men are. If one isn't willing, I'll bet you tens of thousands of others in some # of miles radius around you definitely are.

Edit: oh yeah, since you have children, do your best to instill how to act like an alpha into your son(s) from an early age, and basically how not to end up like mommy to any daughter(s) you may have. Damn, having kids is a drag. Can't believe I used to want some so badly.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Holy mother of god! I can't believe what i have just read. I think this is finally the tipping point of me actually understanding the redpill.. I can't believe how quality she would switch to Dave... makes me wanna never have a LTR ever again and i feel quite sick now

[–]overlyconfusedunsure 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My heart broke reading this.

[–]cocaineandcoffee 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I recommend bookmarking this just in case you start to think your girl is special.

[–]BetterRedThanRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recommend bookmarking this just in case you start to think red flags do not matter.

[–]gzmaster 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Women cannot be trusted.

The most sickening part for me is that when you call them out on their shit (like when you called her at the hotel), it's mostly useless and you don't even get the 1UP because the hamster will soon absolve them of all guilt.

Honestly, it's just not worth the risk for this kind of shit, is it D:

[–]cariboo_j 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Paradoxically, the more you help a woman in life the less she respects you.

It's fucked up man.

Truly, no good deed goes unpunished.

Only help someone if it costs you little to nothing. Women and society at large will laugh at your self-sacrifice, then demand more. The Bible says "the meek shall inherit the earth" but I say that's bullshit. The meek will be taken advantage of at every possible step. This is especially true in relationships. Female entitlement is infinite: it knows no bounds whatsoever.

It's hard when society actively encourages and congratulates men on being suckers.

I think this is why TRP is such a hard pill to swallow for most men - it's a complete inversion of the world wide, deeper-than-cultural, biological programming they have received since birth. As a man, your instincts WILL betray you.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 29 points30 points  (9 children)

Lessons Learned

Never ever elevate the socio economic status of your woman. Let her do it on her own. This does not mean sabotage her or keep her in a dungeon. It is because women can't handle that shit. She has to believe you are above her at all times. In this case she went for more schooling. In her mind she is a more indypyndent womenz despite the fact everything was financed by hubby. In her mind she is now equal or better than hubby which is a big no no. Her hypergamous nature makes her seriously consider someone else. (Read: Hypergamy 102)

What's funny is that they don't know they'll have such a huge change in mindset after undergoing an increase of education or bank account. Women don't understand that men don't care about a woman's education at all, not even a phd or MD. She is only aware of her feelz in the moment, no other feelz will exist in the future. Feelz now is reality.


She wanted me to move out…

The nerve, the balls it takes to make a statement like that after contributing almost nothing to the home, living off hubbies dime who did nothing but support her, not putting out, and attempting to branch swing. This is Briffault's Law in action. The second she has found someone better, or believes you are no longer necessary, you are dead to her.

3) As a man, the game is never over. Hypergamy is perpetual, there is no summit, there is no end. Always be on you A-game, you can never 'relax' because you're married. You can't contract a woman's instincts. The game never ends.

OP, good job sticking up for yourself.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Thats interesting to note, if you bring them up it is not YOU bringing them to your level, it is her having always BEEN at that level.

I got a promotion while I was in the military and my ex literally said "I would have made TSgt before you." Bitch youre not even IN the military!

[–]ColonelMitchell 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Did you drop her on that statement or did you have to have a few more red flags?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

HA! I wish... nope waited for a nice guy to come along and fuck her brains out for me while I sat around oblivious to everything. Being plugged in sucks.

[–]destraht 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't let her walk into the golden star sticker store because she will walk out believing that she is better than you.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (11 children)

CORRECTION: "She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me."

Mistake #1. Should have plated her instead. That's it.

Seriously men stop spending money on women. Just stop already. If you need to get laid buy an escort or get ripped. End of story. I hope never to have to read another beta bux story like that. My current plate tried hard to get promoted to GF only to go back to plate. Now she tells me she has other dinner dates lined up (beta bucks) but she still wants my cock. This bitch comes from a traditional Venezuelan married family unit, she's 30 and she still needs her fill of the cock carousel.

[–]Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 14 points15 points  (8 children)

Absolutely. It's such an ego boost to think "I'm so good, she left that other guy to be with me!". It's an illusion.

If you thought the guy was great, and you're just better, she demonstrated that she can decide to leave a great guy at the drop of a hat, and unless you are objectively the Best Man On Earth, it can just as easily happen to you.

If you thought the guy wasn't so great, then she demonstrated she'd rather stay with someone she's not happy with than be alone, i.e. she uses men she doesn't like for their provision.

In either case, it's a terrible idea to commit to such a girl. If a girl says she's leaving her guy to be with you, do not give her anything more than plate status in your life.

[–]1CowardlyPetrov 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel with you as a spiritual brother, but I have a particular part I want to comment on.

For the sake of the kids at home, we were cordial with each other, parental duties continued as they were. We tried to keep life for the kids normal.

Is it really better for children to have a delusion about their mothers? Mothers abuse their children all the time.

Do we lie to children about abusive fathers? NO, BECAUSE IT IS THE CHILDREN THAT MATTER WHEN IT IS CHILDREN AND MEN.


Even after all this time, there are holdouts of bluepill faggotry in our minds. Destroy that shit with fire. You need to protect your children from HER. You think that she would betray a man who was loyal and loving for 20 years but not her children?

[–]Lunchbox_Larry 18 points18 points [recovered]

Awesome write-up, thanks for sharing. Just imagine very similar scenarios playing out with millions of other men but that don't have the red pill understanding of events.

Men with a utter lack of comprehension. To most blue pill men the cognitive dissonance would be too great to see the true cause of the problem (women are psychologically fucked up.) They would instead chalk it up as all the blame laying squarely on their own shoulders.

We didn't know that AWALT. We (I) just thought we were poor excuses for a husbands, it most be something we haven't done, or helped her with, and that is causing her shitty behavior.

At least we now know.

[–]Smooovies 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'll say this: I knew AWALT was a reality, but I'm starting to see just how far the rabbit hole goes with women and their insanity. I've never realized how diametrically dissimilar men and women are psychologically. I'm actually starting to understand the civility of the male mind, and appreciating it much more.

[–]roteroktober 9 points10 points  (3 children)

never pay for someone elses education, bills, rent. if you are going to be in an LTR or marriage, at least demand them to pull their own weight.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

lacking common sense they are.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Its honestly the opposite of common sense. The common ideals OUTSIDE of red pill say you should PROVIDE for your woman. Starts with first dates goes on to tuition and bills.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What boggles my mind is: 1) she still expected him to take care of her while she was planning her midnight baloney pony ride; and 2) she actually thought he would take her back.

My guess is that Dave pounded his wife hard for one night and then told her that he was not going to deal with the hassle of her husband. She thought she was starting a new and exiting life; in reality she was just another lay. Her hamster exploded and she went running back to the only place she could.

[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan 15 points16 points  (2 children)

She came back from London, as expected...there were tears, begged me to take her back. She tried to come onto me, get touching and affection. I pushed her back. I sat there coldly while she bawled, told me she loved me, for the sake of the kids, the house, our family, all the history we had together…she was distraught and so desperately wanted me back, my emotions felt tickled…only slightly. I sat back in my chair, looked at her coldly and then said “So Daves cock did not taste that good then did it”?...got up…and walked off.

She got her little sexcapade out of the way with Dave, probably got fucked silly 8 ways from Sunday over the course of the time she was there, then realized that guys like Dave don't give long term commitment to women like your ex-wife. Now here she is, filled to the brim with fresh cum, and alone in London with no beta provider.

Enter your ex stage right.

"Camera crew, open the valves, cue the water works."

It's amazing how so many men don't dump their wives after an episode like this. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. A sane man would not repeatedly put his hand on a hot stove. A sane man would not repeatedly stick a fork in a power socket.

But for some reason, otherwise sane men will repeatedly, over and over again, take their cheating whore wives back, multiple times. And when the divorce finally comes, he will marry another woman and go through it all over again. How many men out there are 2, 3, 5 times married? It's mind boggling.

Anyhow, I will give you another lesson from this: WOMEN FROM BROKEN, FATHERLESS HOMES ARE DAMAGED GOODS AND HAVE SHITTY OPINIONS OF MEN. (not shouting, just emphasis). A girl who grows up without a father grows up viewing men as nothing more than a utility to serve her ever fleeting needs. While Briffault's Law is valid, girls from single mothers have Briffault on steroids.

[–]zillaaa37 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're a fucking badass motherfucker.

[–]Edizok 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think this is the most RP post I've read. She fucked you up and you reacted like a real alpha. Makes me more resolute to never pedestalize a bitch and treat all of them like the whores they are.

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Man, I don't know what kept you from laughing diabolically at the sight of her crying when she came back from her trip.

[–]Atheisticles 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I cried in my heart reading op's story.

[–]chahande11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Saw this on r/all. That was pretty painful to read. I've felt like that before.

[–]PheromoneVoid 8 points8 points [recovered]

My God. I'm 20, engaged to be married, and a Muslim. This sub fell in my hands and screen last week, I'm entirely unfamiliar with Red Pill.

This broke my heart; I continuously felt tears coming to my eyes reading this. How you've stayed so strong and had the mental fortitude to push that cheating bitch away, my goodness. I've observed my lady closely, she hasn't exhibited any supposed major signs of her being what you guys call a whore just yet. She's got a good heart, and is an all around loving and devoted girl. But I'm now even more frightened of marriage than I already was.

Ive started to view all women in a whole new light, after seeing all these stories. Over the past few days, I've put some serious emotional distance between my mother, my twin kid sisters, and my fiancée (we still chill, but I'm much colder and aloof in my playful teasing). This place really has me torn. I love my sisters to death, but something about imagining them grow up to be heartless and uncaring emotional leaches makes me want to have less and less to do with them. Who knows, it might be good for them, they both hold massive brother complexes with me anyway.

As for what phase I'm in, I guess you could say I'm in the fear phase. I can't trust women, any woman. Casual friendships are still the same, I've never been romantically inclined toward these women. But all females who've otherwise been close, I've simply erected emotional barriers with. I don't want to have my heart broken like this. It'd kill me.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Every single damn time I hear someone spout NAWALT, I'm reminded of stories like yours. That's some serious shit you've had to put up with, sorry to hear about it man.

Stay strong.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

• You think you know your little snowflake? You don’t know her at all.

Somewhere along the line a chad or dave in this instance has busted a nutt in her butthole on spring break, and he didn't stick around for a cuddle.

This frames my reality with women now. They are not special snowflakes. Say that shit when you go out during the day and watch how you all of a sudden DGAF.

80% of guys are not getting vag shots and texts from girls saying they want you to pee in their butt. If they did they would realize those snowflakes running around are not to be trusted or put on a pedestal

[–]RPMan1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great post, good refresher for keeping the right views in mind. Thanks for sharing your experience man. Looking forward to your follow-ups.

[–]TeasingPenguin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's almost not believable if you were to read that coming from a BP mindset, so many details in you story happened to me and it's very similar down to the kind of girl I thought she was, only difference is that it wasn't 15 years thank god. Time heals and you'll get better like I did, learn from it and just be grateful that you know better.

[–]DeezAlmonds 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Im 19. Its always been a sort of life goal to marry and raise a happy family. Are you insisting that this isnt possible? I know plenty of happily (well, I guess "stable" is a better word) married couples. Are you saying that the trade-off between happiness and companionship isnt wort it? (Ive only swallowed the pill within the last year, any TRP knowledge would be appreciated.)

[–]henry-jest 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Are you insisting that this isnt possible?

It's possible but not easy. You need to understand women. Someone here said "The best way to get a girl is to not need one. " Same is with happy family. If you're needy, then you will turn beta. Read book "How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams " by Corey Wayne. It's very good.

[–]1cover20 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The main thing going on here is that after the kids came and were a few years old, the woman normally pulls away from the man. Serious game is needed at this point to overcome the fact that by our instincts, that's the end of that family unit and the guy leaves and the woman raises the children.

On the other hand you have the advantage that you start every night in bed. The game is set up for you to win, but you gotta use some tricks. What tricks? Whatever worked with your girl in the first place probably, but moreso because now there's a hostility to overcome.

it's not your fault. It's a problem that comes after achieving a lot of success. Genetically you've won already and are supposed to go find new pussy; this married man game is not a game that nature designed for you to win, but you can win it too.

How do I know this? Married 20 years and still married, 2 teenage boys, gone thru this phase. (Now there are new issues involving psychological stages of the kids ...) And by the way I am not ripped and never was. I read so many stories of guys who stayed in shape and this happened to -- I don't think that's the protection in this case.

[–]piccolo3nj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're my hero. You ever need anything - just ask.

[–]Rougepellet 4 points5 points  (1 child)

"She can't help it" and there's the truth. Women are slaves to their tingles. Learn to incite tingles and you will play them like a fiddle. They would willingly destroy a marriage with a guy who would sacrifice everything, even his life, for her and the kids just for a fling with Chad.

"The next day, she sends Dave an email saying that she has to choose between her husband or him…and she chooses him." They would choose Chad over their husband. Chad will either plate or pump and dump, then what is she left with? Neither Chad not the husband. It's utterly illogical, extremely irrational but that's the way it is.

[–]PoFolk 11 points11 points [recovered]

Good on you brother, remember the golden rule.

  1. Get money
  2. Fuck bitches
  3. Smoke trees

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

to butcher the immortal words of the Japanese: "Family and commitment are light as a feather, tingles as heavy as a mountain."

Normally, I'd say that calling the other man would be a beta move, but you earned a little emotional revenge.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She definitely wanted her beta bucks provider while she got the alpha fucks on the side.

Fortunately you were a step ahead of her once you caught onto her.

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You mislabelled. Mistake 1 was that she dumped a boyfriend for you. The best predictor of future behaviour is relevant past behaviour.

Anyway, that's some brutal stuff, I'm sorry it happened. I hope you and you kids are doing well.

[–]ECoast_Man 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the courage of posting this. I view this as damn near side bar material.

Good luck man, fuck that bitch and go live your life. Thanks for this story, you've helped maybe thousands of dudes by being courageous enough to post this.

[–]melomaverick 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting your story. It really cements redpill into my head.

[–]iyaayashua 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Man you literally described my current situation exactly...except I'm stuck in a beta role and and can't alpha up

[–]chadchadington 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you've unplugged. Welcome my brotha.

[–]1WidmerBeer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Phenomenal post.

"I had given her so much in the past and it would be a cold day in hell before she squeezed anything else from me."

This would make a great opener for a book. If you don't use this any further I'm going to plagiarize this if you don't mind. Looking forward to your next post! - Tschüss

[–]B_Campbell 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I feel for the OP and I understand why he did the account did what he did but he definitely should not have clued her in to having access to her accounts. Best case a source of info is gone. Worst case is some wiretap charge.

[–]JanLul 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not the USA. Criminal charges won't be likely.

[–]B_Campbell 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I bet it depends on the state and I wouldn't want to give her any ammo to use in the divorce.

[–]HardShadow 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Here are some of the major red flags.

OP, I am not giving you shit. Rather I am pointing them out because women repeatedly make these very claims, assertions, and take similar actions to these. The minute anyone sees these, it's time to bail:

She dropped her current boyfriend almost immediately to be with me.


she had taken a 1 year break after high school to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.


She said she was going to surprise me and spice up our sex.


We had always had a joint bank account, the account where my salary had been going to, she had her own card for this account and I was finally happy that I was not going to be the only financial contributor to that account.


2 years later, our bedroom still dead…we agree to have kids, our first son arrived in 2006.


“Perhaps if you weren’t so fat I would fuck you”.


That weekend, while on our Tablet at home, she had left her email account open. I noticed 20 emails between her and “Dave”. I click on the first one, the email history attached below…they are flirting. I confront her, she says they are just friends and he is in the UK...no danger. I tell her its not OK to be married and flirting with other guys…think of everything we have built up, the kids, the house…me. She cries and says it will stop.


She cries, she knows it was wrong…we agree to try again. Its only online right...think of the family, think of the house, the kids…our life together, our history. I mean… I was there to help her bury her mom when she passed,her pillar of support…didn’t that mean anything to her? She sends him an email saying they have to stop…he agrees.


Turns out my little princess is a raging whore that wants all her holes filled.


I immediately removed her from my bank account, contacted a lawyer and minimised all communication with her.

This is arguably the best action to take. You should've done this the moment that you discovered she was flirting with someone, regardless of how harmless it was. Gentlemen, take heed.

[–]redpillfil 1 point2 points  (3 children)

How is a girl taking a year off to figure out what she wants to do a red flag?

[–]HardShadow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Opportunity to fuck around (literally) and not have the responsibilities of school. Also denotes a serious lack of direction that she never spent time to develop before graduating from high school. This is evidenced later by the fact she kept changing education paths, careers, and eventually just emulated OP's career choice because she most likely believed she would excel at it more than him.

Women make terrible SE's, so I can understand why she became some bored housewife.

[–]BrunoOh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Figuring out what she wants to do"= CC riding.

[–]IsobellaVaude42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting. I didn't see this mentioned in the story, but I was curious if after her rendezvous with "Dave" did he reject her? Is that why she came running back to you once it was over?

[–]TurtleHood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn that hurt to read but glad things worked out for the better.

[–]iJJD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this experience opened your eyes and changed you for the better. But, read the beginning over and tell me if you would want this to happen to you, this is exactly why I don't believe in cheating, as a man.

[–]redmeatball 2 points3 points  (0 children)

…I have got to the point where I realise that I do not know this woman at all.

Shit I think this statement hits me the most.

[–]AurelianWay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got that deep pit in my stomach after reading your story man. Incredibly poignant example of the typical M.O. of most western woman. (Notice her behaviour changed after they moved to western Europe). I understand that hypergamy as been around since humans first started walking upright. However the level of "Open Hypergamy" that exists today is deplorable. Generally speaking, in the past thanks to religion & other societal boundaries, a woman was at least kept in check from acting on that hypergamy or else she was shamed / ostracized & meant to feel the brunt of her actions.

The modern woman now is so entitled & so indoctrinated by hardcore feminism that a dual sexual strategy (aka AF BB) is now encouraged & / or expected. All is fair in love & war & sometimes a happy marriage will decline into misery, but if it gets to that point LADIES, don't keep milking your BB & fuck Chad on the side. Get a divorce first then fuck whoever you want to your hearts desire! Congrats OP on getting back on your feet & making the best of a bad job.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad I read this. I've been off work for a couple extra days this week and been lazy as fuck.

This thread has reminding me I should be pumping iron and running laps.

Great post and I'm glad you found your way to TRP.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God this is awful man, thank you though for providing this experience and information, to save some of us from falling into this terrible trap thank you

[–]FoolishWiseGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

London is a hypergamous hell zone. Most girls are obsessed with living a 'sex and the city' lifestyle so it doesn't come as a surprise tbh.

[–]YourShowerBuddy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, this brought a fucking smile to my face. Good on you, i wish you well in your future adventures.

[–]damn_mothernature 2 points2 points [recovered]

OP, a few things stood out from your post.

  1. She left her bf almost immediately for you. From the information given in your post, she seems quite smart. Or smarter than the average CC rider.

I've met these types of women before. Our friends know these types of women as being very grimy. You don't see them often in 1st world country because they're well off and most guys are not rich enough for them to bother pulling these moves.

I've known this girl who rejected me when I was 16. Years later when we met again, she was eager to meet up with me. The redflag is I'm now much better off financially and physically and I have the US citizenship. These women are succubus.

  1. You hacked into her account. Awesome move right there. You can learn a lot about a woman by reading her old facebook messages to various guys and statuses. Sometimes it's the only way to know if they're a former CC rider. There's no point in speculating if AWALT when you can find out directly. If you had not done what you did, you might probably still be that marriage.

[–]2All_fixed_again[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Some on this forum will say that checking their phone, the email accounts, their history is Blue Pill. The one lesson I have learned is that they will never tell you the whole truth, you never get the complete picture of who they really are until you look under the cover.

[–]Bung_Eye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Things like this are the exact reminders why I need to be here. Man, I love you for this!

[–]zockerspast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man this read was absolutely breathtaking. I got cold hands and was really touched by your situation. Man you managed this whole shit just godlike. Though I think everyone has to learn this the hard way. My parents finished their divorcing yesterday...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had to hold back tears reading this.

[–]uns7able 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy. I actually could not handle this.

[–]redhurtsdonut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck brother. That was heavy duty.

I almost can't believe it. Fifteen years flushed down the drain just to suck stranger Dave's cock in a hotel room for one night. Fuck that.

I had a similar thing happen where I had access to my long time GF's email and I read how she fell in love with her old disgusting boss at work while she was traveling for school. I endured it for three months after being in a relationship for two years. I thought I had it bad. I can't imagine how reading that shit after fifteen years must have cut. Damn brother. You live through that, you can live through anything.

For this GF, I gave her two years of my life, one job change and one relocation. She was sweet as pie and I was a pretty alpha guy actually. Seemed like a good situation but Chads were out there and I didn't keep my game up.

I'm 31. Deep inside, I have always been Redpill. I was surrounded by true betas throughout my life. I am glad I found Redpill one year ago. Wish it was ten years ago, but better now than never.

I just read your post again. Fuck my stomach hurts and I'm grinding my teeth.

Live on my friend. Better days are ahead. May the best of your today be the worst of your tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

great post , good luck on your future adventures.

[–]DalekJay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Op, it's hard to see the redflags at the moment I know it, it's a shame we suffer too much before we realize, I had a similar experience but not that destructive, I wasn't married and I don't have kids, for me was easier (was hell, but putting in perspective with you story....well...), if you may tell the aftermath of your story would be cool.

Congrats and thrive brother

[–]LionLaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realised that woman aren’t these fragile little creatures that need to be looked after, it is in their best interests for you to believe that…but they are experts at deception.


You think you know your little snowflake? You don’t know her at all. If you think she is a snowflake, it’s because that’s what she wants you to believe. It serves her purpose.

Women get validation every fucking day if they are even remotely attractive, make them earn your respect and your commitment and don't put the pussy on a pedestal

[–]holzy444 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a tragic story, but good on you for working hard and taking risks improve your situation even if you had a leech on your ass the whole time.

[–]Inforce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About fatherhood..Is it crazy, to think that we should use women as vessels for reproduction purposes, and after the conception we remain friends with obligations towards our children, but not ourselves as a couple? I believe this will be the most common type of family on the planet, if it isn't already

[–]MrRexels 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mistake 1 wasn't paying for half of her college, mistake 1 was the fact she didn't hesitate in breaking up with her then boyfriend to be with you just because you met in a bar.

[–]thenarrrowpath 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Did you even know of RP when you started standing up for yourself? Or was it just a natural reaction?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just be glad you are a computer ace who was able to have all her shenanigans chronicled.

The average guy would be working on instinct and hamstring himself into a cuckold situation.

I guess the way you have to look at it is you got two sons out of the deal. Would you trade them for anything in the world?

[–]mismm 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Fuck, that was hard to read. But to be honest, she showed you her true colors way at the beginning, when she ''immediately'' dropped her boyfriend for you. Did she cheat on him with you?

[–]workunit13 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I want a family and intend to have one, the message I take away is not to get out of shape, dont be boring and be a beta provider to everything.

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