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MetaHow to stop being a loser in life. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by the99percent1

Tl;Dr: Life is about taking action. Losers are passive whiners. This is a step-by-step guide of how to stop being a loser. Set goals, mini goals/tasks, and have a weekly, even daily schedule to reach them.

Body: At 24, I was on the brink of dropping out altogether. I didn't know what to do with my life. Everyday seemed mundane as I did the same thing over and over again. All I knew was I hated my situation and was in despair. I was a loser.. In 4 short years, I've done a total 180 and managed to turn my life around. Today, I'm banging hotties, have a rock solid career, people look up and respect me. I'm on path to achieving great success and living a great, balanced life. So how did I do it in 4 short years? From zero to hero.

Here's the blueprint for all you 'losers' in TRP looking for some guidance:

This is a top down approach. You start at the top by making end goals. Think large, big and far.

  • I want to be ripped with a bodybuilders body.
  • I want to be a multi-millionaire who drives luxury cars, have a harem full of women, & be able travel to exotic locations
  • I want to master a musical instrument and be able to perform on stage live infront of thousands of audiences.

It's important to write down your end goals. The idea is to motivate and remind yourself everyday because life isn't easy if you want to make it BIG.

Ok, now, you aren't going to reach those end goals anytime soon. It will take many years to reach the destination. So you have to set mini goals along the way. You've play CoD? Think of mini goals like you have to unlock items and level up first.

Here are examples of mini goals:

Body Building: I will gain core strength by doing Planks, sit-ups, & crunches.
Education: I will finish my homework and thoroughly understand the chapter/subject so I can ace those tedious exams. Career: I will acquire more skills so I can become a more valuable worker. Money: I will become a hustler in life. No job is 'below' me. I will take it on and learn something valuable out of it, maybe even form a business. Multiple businesses.
Health, LTRs,etc.: I will put in more effort to move forward and keep improve myself.

The general idea of mini goals is to constantly be better than you were the day before. It is important to keep moving forward and progressing up the level. Difficulty will soon begin to rise exponentially as you delve deeper. The key is to keep at it and once you've made your goal known, commit to it.

Breaking down further, mini goals have specific tasks.

Create daily schedules. I use google calendar and fill it with time-tables. Time for gym, time for work, time for study, time for practicing guitar. You may break it down further. For gym schedule, I want to do deadlifts, squats, benchpress and pull-ups in 45 minutes. Work - Finish off project budgeting by 12 noon. Study - Complete reading the chapter by 10am.

Daily schedule or time table helps you to keep track of your tasks. Accomplishing those tasks will help you to reach and unlock your mini goals.

Day in, day out for 4 years straight. Don't stop. This is the blueprints on how you turn things around. This is how you accomplish and reach your end goals. From Loser to Winner. One step at a time.

Lessons Learnt: Here are some other things I've figured out along my journey.

It is better to focus on doing ONE thing right than focus on many things and do all of them wrong. Really take your time to understand and become competent before moving onto your next task or goal. Don't overwhelm yourself too much. Really take your time here. You want to gain understanding and competence.

Stay focused on the task at hand. Procrastination is the enemy of productivity. Don't put things off. If you can accomplish it today, do it today. What is the most important thing that needs to be done? You know what it is because it is stuck on your mind 24/7 and you are procrastinating to start it. That is the most important thing to do today. So start doing it. Write down 5 things you need to accomplish today and try your best to meet them. Trust me, when you tick it off your list, you will feel a natural 'high'.

Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity. People say alot of things happen by chance.. The truth is, successful people are constantly prepared and can recognize opportunity when it presents itself. Everyday, an opportunity is waiting for you. You just have to be competent and have learnt or studied before. For instance, that hot girl on the train. She's waiting for you to chat her up and flirt with her. Have you practiced any flirting before? So how then do you want to 'get lucky' with her. Practice to become competent and then seize opportunities when it presents itself. 'He got lucky?' - most quoted sentence from lazy, mediocre people. Truth is, luck is second nature for a prepared person.

Time wasting occurs when you have too much spare time. When you begin filling that time with work, self-improvement, exercise, social activities, you will have less and less time in the day.

Effort, determination, perseverance and discipline are all required. You think success is easy? being a loser is easy.. and that's where the majority of people remain. mediocrity breeds contempt. Contempt breeds hatred. Why do people hate on successful go getters? Because it reflects back on them that this was a normal person that set out to accomplish great things and they did it by putting in the hard work and effort. Whilst those mediocre people sat on their couch all day wasting their time.

Time. Time is a luxury all of us cannot afford to squander. I just wasted 20 minutes typing this out for you. I've invested in this piece, I sincerely hope you gained something out of it.

You are not a boy anymore. Soon you will be 26, 27, 28.. 30.. 35.. 40. Life will pass you by. I don't know about you, but that scares the shit out of me enough to make me take action.. I constantly worry whether I have enough time to reach my end goals.

Always be moving forward. Your body, mind and energy can only last for so long. 80 years tops. I don't want you to look back and regret not accomplishing all those things you wanted because you failed to put in the effort to reach them. No excuses.


[–]smajorp 107 points107 points [recovered]

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, writes about having "Systems" rather than goals in his book "How to fail at almost everything and still win big."

Essentially it is what you describe as microgoals. Rather than state "I am going to lose 10 pounds," which is a goal that you will fail at everyday until you lose 10 pounds. You would state "I will go to the gym everyday" and "I will eat 3 homecooked meals consisting of meats and vegetables everyday."

It's just a simple way to make your mindset more positive and present, because you are hitting your goals daily.

[–]RPL23 20 points20 points [recovered]

cannot recommend this book enough. it's a fantastic read and hits on one of the main veins of TRP self improvement: process-dependent, outcome-independent.

[–]laughkisskill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is much better, I think anyway, than the original post.

Progress is less about the goal, and more about making change easy. One tiny step at a time.

For example, never lifted before? Don't simply say tomorrow I lift. Say, "by Friday I'll have done 3 days in the gym" don't stop there, build a system, have the shake ready, grab the muscle milk before hand, the night before "so you've already invested" get a friend you can't let down to go with you. Set up a system to take advantage of your triggers, instead of making an "I should" statement that usually, realistically means, "i know, but I won't"

Listen to Kevin Moser on Ace productivity podcast. I also recommend his learning Spanish in 30 days and his master of memory podcast. Even the episodes are done to fit with his productivity systems, no more than 10 minutes, one exercise for the day.

Go listen to it! Maybe this is helpful, maybe not, but if at least one of you see this and try it, I've done more than I'd hoped.

[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points

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[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

TL;DR, "I'd rather whole-ass one thing than half-ass three."

Congrats on your lifestyle change. I've done something similar but am only at the beginning of my journey. Your post inspired me to keep striving for my goals. I can't see myself quitting this honestly because I never want to go back to being the piece of shit I was before.

Keep moving forward brother.

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points  (8 children)

"How does one devour an elephant? One bite at a time." - Frank Underwood

[–]rupturedprostate 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Sure. But in all seriousness he said whale not elephant.

[–]fuckin_retard 58 points58 points [recovered]

Congratulations on turning things around man, and thanks for summarizing the system you used in that journey. These are some solid principles, while not new or groundbreaking, they're good to be reminded of.

I have an addendum: if there are people getting in the way of your success, get them out of your life. End and/or minimize the time you spend with people "doing nothing". "Hanging out" with your bros on the daily was good and acceptable in high school, maybe even some in college. When you actually want to get out and accomplish something and make your mark, you simply won't have time. It takes 10,000 hours to master something, and every hour that you spend being a fucking loser and chilling on your bros couch, you are throwing time away that could have brought you closer to your goal. I'm not telling you to work all day every day and ignore friends. Just create boundaries and make time for yourself to pursue mastery and self-actualization.

[–]gdiocarez 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Wow this is really amazing. I hope it gets to more people. Seems like time is always been dis-regarded when we age. We regret things when we wake up not accomplishing anything. Today's age, most youth would just live wild and free not knowing that Time is a vital part in living.

[–]tuxedoburrito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's the most expensive thing we can give.

We can always make more money, friends, girls, etc. we can never give more time because once the time you have is up. It's up. You'll never get back those hours wagging it, watching Netflix, sleeping in.

[–]Steve_Wiener 9 points10 points  (0 children)

YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW.

DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!

[–]1jimjackjoe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this guy is an entrepreneur, a banker, a school teacher, a Walmart employee, a woman posing as a man, a drywall installer, Lance Armstrong, or anything else. But I personally imagine him as a used car salesman in ft. Lauderdale, florida.

[–]Braaaaaapp 11 points12 points  (7 children)

I've been using sunrise calendar to plan out my day and I usually do that the night before hour by hour what am I doing type stuff so then it's just like following an itinerary. I use todoist to write out all the things I need to get done, doesn't mean they need to get done that next day but I need to get it done eventually and I'll plan tasks in todoist on my calendar and just do maybe 1 to 2 things every day so I'm always checking things off my checklist. Last but not least I use an app called productive to build habits, everyday it resets what you need to do; For example, every morning I have it telling me I need to make my bed and clean my room and meditate just because I'm not used to doing these things every morning. That's pretty much it and it definitely keeps me from doing pointless shit like wasting a day playing video games. Also you need breaks in your day too to keep from getting burned out, I use a pomodoro timer that sets work intervals with regular break intervals so if I'm studying for an exam or working on a project I like to use that.

[–]whitepois0n 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Amazing apps, thank you for that. You say you also have an app called "Productive". Is their a more specific name to it, I cant find it.

[–]Braaaaaapp 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yea man! It's called Productive-Habit & Goal tracker

[–]Osoto_Gari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I have just downloaded it

[–]throwaway320_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're pretty much doing what I am, but with different apps.

I use Google Calendar to block out my time each Sunday for the coming week. And I use HabitRPG for my to-do list and habits that reset every day.

[–]lonernot 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Soon you will be 26, 27, 28.. 30.. 35.. 40. Life will pass you by. I don't know about you, but that scares the shit out of me enough to make me take action.. I constantly worry whether I have enough time to reach my end goals.

I feel you on this brother. I am 25, have a decent paying job, but I live in an area that I am not happy in at all (New Jersey). For months I have been planning on moving out west but there are so many obstacles in my way right now.

[–]PlusGoody 2 points3 points  (1 child)

West? Like California? Give it a pass unless you have the credentials to get hired by a top-tier tech company or to become a television writer. Insanely expensive, over-taxed, over-regulated. For an ambitious guy it's a sub-par product at a luxury price.

Like Texas or Utah -- that makes more sense.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]william_law 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Quick tip on entering law school: I've heard they deliberately give you more work than you can even finish for several reasons. Essentially they are acclimating you to life in the legal field. There is never enough time for it all. They want to weed out people who can't adapt. In other words, throw perfectionism out the window, get over procrastination pronto, take an "act now" urgency towards your work, and you will still have more than you can handle. But that's ok, that's what they want.

[–]ExiledNihilist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get in there, and make that school your bitch. You got this. Take a day at a time.

[–]CrackityDiggity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the best posts I've seen and embraces what TRP is truly about in my opinion.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Happiness is the by-product of achievement."

People are happy, and unhappy, for that reason alone.

[–]REDitor100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome post. In my opinion, there should be a lot more written on creating a schedule. Hell, that could be a separate post on its own. It's THAT important. My life changed dramatically and everyone around me noticed when I created a schedule and stuck to it. Manage your time and the world is yours.

[–]purplecabbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God I love this post and it's comments. Bring it! Put this on the sidebar, mods.

[–]DRHipsterFaggot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post, one thing I'll say though is don't worry whether you have enough time to reach your goals. For one, you should always be adjusting your goals slightly as you pursue them and mature and watch your life unfold, etc. So you will never have the satisfaction of feeling done if you are really trying to maximize. Do worry that you are using your time wisely in the present, for that is all that you control.

[–]TheInkerman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've just started using Google Calendar to timetable my day. 1st day of it I got more done in one day than the entire week before. One issue I had was that it doesn't seem to have a built in task manager. You can write down when you need to do something by, but that doesn't really help in the interim.

Anyone have any recommendations? Particularly something that integrates with Google Calender.

[–]SirCockburn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone new to this subreddit, I can really attest to this guy's advice. Making a daily checklist of things to do that reflect your overall plan to success and crossing things off of said daily check list is very gratifying. I'm a firm believer that once you accomplish small goals, you'll really get the confidence to complete bigger goals.

And keep a physical list of these goals. Don't just keep it in your head. You're bound to forget about it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you gave me six hours to chop down an oak then id spend the first four hours sharpening my axe

[–]onetowatch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great post, thank you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

There's a AMA here around reddit where an anonymous guy claims to be a self made millionaire. He says that he had depression before but eventually he turned his life around and worked his ass off. He also has some "Red Pill" philosophy. I don't know if it's real or not but still its very motivational.

[–]Jax-T 3 points3 points [recovered]

I'm on mobile bro, could you send me the link when you're available?

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points

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[–]Myrpl 24 points25 points  (6 children)

TIL Reddit has one timezone. It's 3:30 pm where I am. I suppose I don't count as redditor, eh?

[–]Tastetosis 7 points8 points  (4 children)

yeap, 9am on friday here just getting into work and redditing while i eat my breakfast

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points

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[–]Tastetosis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

eh RES said 41minutes ago, am i high?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So that would be 11pm Thursday PST. What's your point?

[–]Almostunbelievable -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You're argument is basically, "how many angels dance on the head of a pin." You're disputing the facts of this outline when we can all obviously & clearly see that this is complete & utter bullshit. "Don't be a passive whiner. Put yourself out there! & then you can fuck girls on a boat." It's like this old infomercials that used to air around 3am after the programming that no-one watched went off & there would be some asshole explaining why you suck & if you send him, "easy payments of 19.95" you could be renting expensive cars & wearing expensive sunglasses like he was in the 15 seconds you were watching him advertised.

[–]ChiefReap -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Even worse, taking advice from a non patriot

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're applying chick logic. Firstly, it would be a Thursday evening when he posted this according to your narrow worldview. Secondly, you are putting weight on useless references like "oh my god he's busy on a friday night hamster other girls??" The mans clearly chasing his dreams, not trying to pick up a college skank on a Thursday night pub night.

[–]RemyPrice 15 points16 points  (0 children)

at 1am on a Friday night

... who uses the phrase "I'm bangin' hotties".

[–]workunit13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hah then dont read it you bellend.

[–]Yedya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels good to read this knowing I'm already applying such values to my life.

[–]Free_skier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My main problem is thatI work from 8 to 20

[–]AtticusWarhol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't half ass two things. Whole ass one thing. - Ron Swanson

[–]DogInTheBath 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a great post. Thank you.

[–]NecroticFury 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real life will never be like COD. In real life everything you have previously earned can be lost in a short amount of time. You can do your best, better than others, IRL, but receive nothing in return.

There are no guarantees; you can't blame some for giving up altogether in hopes of a life filled with short term gratification.