464
465
466

Field Report[FR] Armored myself with TRP and took the LTR plunge (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by willworkforreddcoin

This is my first contribution to TRP. I hope my FR will help / inspire someone.

TL;DR: armored myself with science and TRP. Entered LTR and having a great time.

Intro:

Up until the age of 22 I was as plugged in as it gets. I was stuck dating 3s and 4s, letting them have control of the relationship and running over me. My college experience consisted of making sure my girlfriend was taken care of, and THEN came school work and personal life.

Then I started my degree. I graduated with a B.S. in Behavior Analysis. It really showed me how simple the world really is. People are not special or complicated, no matter how much they think they are. Reinforcement and punishment are just as effective on dogs as it is on children, adults, and the elderly. I truly understood that humans are still just mammals.

I started hitting the gym and focused on myself. Fights ensued (I dont like you having muscles, LOL). Eventually I sat down and wrote out all of the good and bad aspects that were coming out of my relationship. The cons overwelmly outweighed the pros. I called the relationship off and cut her completely from my life. I felt free.

As if fate, I found TRP that next week. Every single principle clicked. Behavior Analysis is like the science to the TRP philosophy. I got my body in check, landed a decent job making 40k, and got my wardrobe set straight by a gay man (that really is great advice). I began the hunt for my first plate. A simple 6. To me, she was more attractive than anyone I had ever had in my life. Within a month, I had landed a 7. My confidence went through the roof.

Fastfoward two years.

My number count went from 2 to 15. Everything was great but I was getting a little bored. Not one of my plates were able to stimulate me mentally. One night at a party, a group of girls showed up. One of them introduced herself to me. A solid 8, great body and face, the hottest girl who had ever shown interest in me. We hit it off and I got her number. Another 6 months down the road, we had gone on a few dates, made out, and every single time I tried to seal the deal, I was met with a "sorry, I have a no bullshit policy. I do not fuck unless I am in a relationship". This chick was firm on her stance. I had never had an issue getting a girl to put out on the first date until now. I spent a good two weeks thinking about the situation I was in. I called my current plates and said I was moving on and cut them off. I decided to take the plunge into an LTR, equipped with all of the TRP and behavior analysis tools that I had in my arsenal.

The Plunge:

She said hell yeah! I remember her asking me if I had any "rules" about the relationship because she knows I like rules. I said absolutely.

don't get fat.

Simple and to the point. She kind of paused and then looked back at me.

you don't get fat either

Off to a great start!

I like a little chaos in my life so as it turned out, both of our apartment leases ended at the same time. 7 months after meeting this girl, we moved in together.

Shit tests were rare and when they happened, I batted them down instantly. Sex was every single day. Most of the time I never initiated it. I would come home from work and she'd be laying on the bed. We did a lot of couple-y things together. We went shopping, we bought furniture, we decorated our apartment. Another rule I laid down, we don't split anything. If we're buying a new couch, I pay for it. If we need to buy a new table, you pay for it. It doesn't have to be equal but I will never split. She agreed that my rules were fair.

The one thing I was not prepared for was comfort tests. I had never experienced one before. That was our first scuffle. I hesitate to call it a fight because it was more of her crying and me being emotionless. I don't remember what it was about but I learned to pick up the difference between comfort and shit tests.

Another rule. If one of us is home first, they have to meet the other at the door when the other comes home. I know all too well of walking in after a long day and being completely ignored by your significant other. Luckily for me, I always get home second. She is at the door every single time with a kiss and a hug. Asking me how my day is. It is really a great feeling. The one time she didn't, I completely ignored her until she ran up and hugged me and said "sorry".

Definitely not a rule but something that just recently started happening. When I come home from the gym and hop straight in the shower, she'll come into the bathroom and either get in with me, or grab a towel from the rack and start drying me down. She is really good at making me feel like a king. She says it's just an excuse to put her hands on my body. (guys, work on yourself. women WILL respond).

Just like furniture, food is separate. I have my cart and she has hers. We go and find things to eat for lunch and snacks, and if we see something that we would like to share for dinner, I'll buy one and she'll buy another. I don't know how much she makes and she doesn't know how much I make. It is a completely stress free situation.

It has been a year since I began my LTR and nothing has changed.

I felt the need to write this because of all the negative posts showing up. This girl is not a unicorn but with the right tools, she'll do her best to act like one. I know that as long as I keep my frame and give her the sex she craves, everything should hopefully stay the same. I would say the most powerful tool in my arsenal is my ability to walk away. I've never brought it up, or threatened it, but she completely understands that I also have a "no bullshit policy". I am definitely not getting married anytime soon. I always tell my peers, "I'll be in my prime till 55" and they don't believe me. I never try to justify it because they don't understand the freedom I feel.

I don't know if I fully believe it about my situation, but I think it will be funny to say: AWALT.

Lessons Learned:

Everyone keep up the good work! My journey took three years and the best lessons I learned were: never stop studying, never stop working on yourself, hold that frame like a god, and always have a no-bullshit policy!


[–]abdada 225 points226 points  (72 children)

Be certain to maintain your personal space -- don't stop hitting the gym, don't stop meeting up with your friends regularly.

The worst failures a man makes in LTRs is to forget he has space and just give his LTR access to it. That space is what keeps her on her toes.

A woman gets fat when she knows her man has no space to look at other women and compare. If a man keeps his space, the likelihood of him letting her get fat is reduced greatly.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (69 children)

The worst failures a man makes in LTRs is to forget he has space and just give his LTR access to it. That space is what keeps her on her toes.

Right.

I was happy to see that OP is successfully leading the ship with this chick, but he's been in a LTR for a year and is already living with her?

Shacking Up

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 34 points35 points  (35 children)

I knew what I was getting into. I mentioned in my post that I was looking for a little chaos.

It turns out the captain and first mate dynamic have been working wonderfully. Neither her nor I have reduced the sex life and mysteriousness. I also understand that this has been going on for only a year and is still a pretty new relationship.

I started out, still am, and will be always willing to walk if need be.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I started out, still am, and will be always willing to walk if need be.

You hamstring yourself greatly by sharing a living space.

It can be done, but it's a pain.

I enjoyed your FR, and I hope to see you continue to have success in your LTR.

[–]1Dis_mah_mobile_one 3 points4 points  (33 children)

You seem pretty solid, to the extent that this seems similar to what I would want in an LTR. My only question is, would this be a relationship you would feel comfortable having children in?

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 5 points6 points  (32 children)

I don't feel comfortable having children at all regardless of the woman. The only time I would ever consider kids is through adoption.

Childbirth changes a woman and not always for the good.

I think she'd be a solid choice as a mother of an adopted child.

[–]Zachar1a 48 points49 points  (7 children)

Wow, you are really serious about the not getting fat!

"I dunno, honey, you might gain weight during a pregnancy. Let's just raise somebody else's kid instead!" LOL

[–]DuncanMonroe 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Why the fuck would you want to raise someone else's kid? You couldn't pay me to do that. I want other people to raise my kids, if anything, not the other way around. May as well marry a single mother, jesus

[–]JMCastillo86 -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

Why contribute to the over population of the planet? Plus, it would be like adopting a pet. Just one that talks back a lot more.

[–]StManTiS 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My biggest strike against is a complete lack of knowledge. The kid could have anything written in its DNA and I would have to deal. At least with a chosen mate you get some control over the characteristics of the spawn.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Because the human race is going to populate anyway, so if you think you have something to offer to the gene pool, you should contribute. It is also a major biological drive, so it will give you a satisfaction you can't get otherwise. The problem with humanity nowadays is that the most resourceful do not populate as much as the rest. This is politically incorrect to say out loud, but from a evolutionary standpoint, the human race may never again be as intelligent as it is today. Our generation is probably the best that will ever be.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 57 points58 points  (15 children)

I object to such a dysgenic proposition. You might as well be a cuckold. Why raise and invest in some piece of shit's DNA code? Propagate the red pill the way mother nature intended--through your sperm.

[–]Fthebluepill 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Sounds like you should get a surrogate mother. Your fma mixed but she doesn't get fat. Boom!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Still a bad idea... Same argument as before, if she keeps herself fit then she'll have far better genes. Not all women suffer post-pregnancy depression. Besides everyone changes in their own ways very gradually as they age. OP will be different as well, this is not avoidable if you want to go through with a marriage. Not all changes are bad though, so there is that to keep in mind.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

if she keeps herself fit then she'll have far better genes

This is not the way genes work.

[–]eclipsedbythemoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Epigenetics works that way however.

[–]1aguy01 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Are you saying the parent's lifestyle choices don't affect the child's DNA? Are you serious?

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

Decent article by Chateau Heartiste on adoption and how it can create unhappiness, related to the instinctive knowing that it's not related to you.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/07/08/horrors-from-the-christian-adoption-scene/

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]ModRedSovereign 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Just a heads up, you've been shadowbanned.

[–]Madhawk1995 5 points5 points [recovered]

If I may ask, how or why does someone become shadowbanned?

[–]ModRedSovereign 11 points12 points  (1 child)

It's not transparent to us, the mods. The admins have criteria of their own, some public, some not so much. Doxxing attempts, stalking, brigading and spamming are the common reasons.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I bet a C note that you lose this battle inside of 5 years. Baby Rabies also changes a woman and almost never for the better.

[–]hamsterbator 6 points7 points  (0 children)

does she know that? because girls do have a ticking clock...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How many of your female ancestors never underwent childbirth?

[–]redpillshadow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think she'd be a solid choice as a mother of an adopted child.

She'll never love an adopted child like her own child. And if she has any self respect that proposal will be a deal breaker. She said she has a no bullshit policy. What you propose there is some heavy bullshit.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WTF?? Adopting, it is in our DNA to replicate, that means replicating ourselves not raising the offspring of two looser douchebag's. I mean adopting a kid, that is so blue pill my mind is spinning. If you want to have a child than have one and accept the risks involved. I am a father of two. Had a 20 year relationship with a horse (not quite a unicorn but a very submissive and good long term ride). Now I have dominant custody of the kids and live in my own house. You may wonder how? I had my shit organised in advance, I took all the risks into account. I made sure she paid for half of everything and did her share of the work so that when we split 50/50 it was half her stuff anyway. I made sure I earned enough so that by splitting 50/50 I would still have enough income and made sure I was the better parent so that the courts would ensure kids stayed with me. Sort your shit out and your mind before you think of being a parent adopted or otherwise.

[–]1Dis_mah_mobile_one 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough I suppose. Thanks

[–]87GNX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You completely lost me here.

You said you actually fucking go shopping with this girl. You are going to get tired of this shit, it will wear off. The only reason to be alpha bucks (way more difficult than alpha fucks) is for posterity.

You should be auditioning this woman as the future mother of your kids, or you should be spinning plates. None of this fucking 40yo married childless couple with lexuses democrat voting fucking bullshit shitblimp property value inflating civilization destroying PEOPLE WHO I LOATHE WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

Don't be that guy.

[–]abdada 7 points8 points  (32 children)

I only let LTRs spend more than 1 night a week if they sign a lease as a subtenant, pay rent and understand that everything in the space is mine (also in the lease agreement) including anything they leave behind.

I'm a wolf when it comes to my space. 2 nights a week? Too close to commonlaw for me.

Edit I do concur with Rollo's post.

[–]NidStyles 14 points15 points  (30 children)

I agree with this 100%.

Basically: It's my place, not hers. She can stay sometimes, but she isn't taking over my place. She isn't displaying my things, or changing my decor. I don't care if she doesn't like the shit I have hanging on the walls. I like it, that's why it's there. If she is going to live with me on a permanent basis, separate rooms. I can't sleep with women, they toss and turn too much for me. My shit is not coming off the walls, and where I want it either.

[–]abdada 22 points23 points  (29 children)

I have the world's greatest mattress -- pocket springs instead of connected, so she can jump up and down on her side and I would have zero clue. Costs quite a bit more, but a great mattress leads to great sleep and great sex. I'm certain that I've LTR'd women 2 points better than I should have solely due to my sheets and mattress choices, lol.

[–]CornyHoosier 3 points4 points  (9 children)

This has a ring of truth to it.

In addition to high thread count sheets and a high quality mattress, I also got some incredibly comfortable pillows and satin pillow covers. I've seen women shiver in pleasure just getting into bed.

[–]abdada 16 points17 points  (8 children)

I actually have low thread count sheets but they cost about $2000 per set (for 2 sheets). Google: Pratesi sheets. There is nothing else I will sleep on (I own 12 sets and rotate them based on the season). The pope and the royal family have been sleeping on Pratesi for decades.

For me, thread count is inferior -- specific weave is way more important. Pratesi sheets are made from first spun cotton with the longest threads. Then those are Jacquard woven (the best weave for cotton). Jacquard woven sheets are better than any high thread count because the weave actually gets softer and somewhat "tighter" as you wash them over the years.

My oldest Pratesi sheet set was bought in 1996 -- almost 20 years old -- and it's stellar sleep.

[–]CornyHoosier 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Those sound amazing. I definitely cannot afford to drop that much on sheets right now. But I'll try to remember the name for when I can!

[–]abdada 4 points5 points  (4 children)

It's one of those things I lucked out with by having mentors of acclaim at a young age. My first sheet set in 1996 cost me almost $900 (I was 22 at the time). It was a HUGE cost -- most of my friends were earling probably $5.50 an hour.

After that first set (comparing it to cheap sheets bought retail), I realized I had no option so I specifically saved money from each paycheck to get more. Now I have my 12 sets (3 are winter sheets, 3 are summer, 6 are all season) and they're amazing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

What exactly is a "mentor of acclaim"?

[–]NightGod 0 points1 point  (1 child)

$2000/set? Am I missing something, because the ones I see in Google seem to be $600-800 (skipping the ~$300 hotel sheets).

[–]abdada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are likely the retail sets. As always, off the rack varies from bespoke in pricing.

Their store in Italy has single sheets around €30,000. Way out of my league but holy shit.

[–]NidStyles 6 points7 points  (17 children)

I have thought about getting one of those. I'm like a crackhead sleeper. The slightest noise wakes me up. I hate it.

[–]abdada 7 points8 points  (13 children)

Don't go cheap. I replace my mattress every 48-60 months like clockwork. I pay around $2500 for a mattress and I figure I am getting up to 15,000 hours of sleep on it. That's 16 cents per hour of sleep (if I actually was home 365 x 5). Worth it.

[–]NidStyles 5 points6 points  (11 children)

I will check them out for sure. I need to do something. I am on a memory foam mattress now.

[–]abdada 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I don't use memory foam because it doesn't work for me at all. Causes me to wake up all the time. I currently have a hybrid mattress (pocketed springs, memory foam top) in my guest room and my old retired blind dad visits once a month and he LOVES it but I hate it. I paid around $3000 for that thing because I wanted him to be comfortable, but I can't even nap on it.

[–]NidStyles 2 points3 points  (3 children)

They are hot as hell in the summer time. Miserable experience.

[–]juiceperks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wanna jump in and recommend Sleep Number.. Ya they are expensive as shit and sounds kinda gimmicky but once I found my number I doubt I'll ever sleep on another mattress again.

[–]NightGod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have memory foam/gel topped with a feather topper. I've never had better sleep.

[–]King-Kuranes 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The memory foam mattress is the best. I've played full contact sports or been involved with combat martial arts for over 20 years and memory foam is the only thing that my body agrees with. I've never had issues in the summer with heat, just very comfortable all around

[–]NidStyles 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I live in Arizona, that is likely the difference. This is the hottest mattress I have ever laid on. I have to sleep without anything other than underwear to not wake up in a puddle of my own sweat.

[–]laughkisskill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to this (I have a great mattress, and I replace it whenever I move, usually about every 3 to 5 years) also grab yourself an isotonic pillow. I honestly thought they were just a fad but Damn. Girl bought me one, and I'm loving it. If you radiate like a space heater when you sleep you will love yourself for having two nice cooler than the other sides of the pillow.

Also to op, this is an on point post. I myself am in a similar situation, and all my ltrs have a capitan first mate dynamic. Then again, that was my model growing up.

[–]SuperSlavisWife 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Try valerian root. Helps you sleep a bit deeper for the first few hours and get your REM.

[–]NidStyles 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My issue is not something valerian root will cure. It's a nerve damage issue.

[–]RealRational 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]user6580 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an okay relationship but by far the worst thing I ever did was move in together. 6 months later she's moving out, still dating but fark me ded.

[–]5hogun 84 points85 points  (6 children)

Soaring through the first year as captain of the ship is easy.

Update us around year 10.

Compared to most however, you'll have a much better chance of having a positive story to tell a decade down the line — unlike the poor saps who never educate themselves — so I wish you continued success.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is the truth.. I was the clear captain of the ship for 5 years. Year 6?? Not so sure, once one of her friends got divorce shit started going downhill.

Recently divorced women always try to take at least one friend with them into the single life

[–]1independentmale 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Even if it all goes to hell in a hand basket, he's done this right by keeping his assets separate and not marrying. Assuming he continues with this clear separation of assets and does not wind up in a common law marriage, if it crashes and burns he'll be in a perfect position to get back up and move on with his life without lawsuits, theft of assets and so on. She takes her shit, he keeps his and you both walk away.

The real problems occur when you start mixing assets. Joint bank accounts are going to be split 50/50 whether you put 90% of the assets into it or not. Let her make a payment on the house or car and she'll have a legal argument in favor of half the equity. Put her name on anything and you're fucked. Keep it all completely separate, don't get married, don't have kids and you're pretty damn golden.

[–]BowsNToes21 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That's the thing I like about a RP relationship. A BP relationship will lead the man being a woman's bitch, begging for sex and being miserable for years after as she constantly disrespects him. When a RP relationship ends it's more of, "Hahaha. Yeah no I'm out. Thanks for the blow job last night and all those years of great sex. Have a good one."

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I totally agree with you. I do my best to live without regrets so even if this relationship fails a few years down the road, I am making damn sure I am having the best time of my life.

[–]thefisherman1961 4 points5 points  (0 children)

unlike the poor saps who never educate themselves

There is an abundance of those kind of people in the world. The only education they care to get is what they are taught in a formal educational setting that they're required to attend. I never understood it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Soaring through the first year as captain of the ship is easy.

Update us around year 10.

This; few people who've been "successful" at anything for less than a decade are qualified to teach others about it.

That includes raising a family, having a career, building a business and almost anything else worth learning about.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 28 points29 points  (10 children)

Solid FR, here is a man doing RP-LTR right!

It doesn't make sense for many young men <25 to be in a LTR much less marriage, but I strongly recommend that all learn LTR and marriage skills along the way. If not for yourself someday, certainly for your friends who get married and will seek your counsel as a RP man.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Thank you. I was a little worried that my first post wouldn't be well received but you have eased all of my fears.

I completely agree! I knew there was a lot to learn being with an LTR. Especially living with one since I haven't tried that before.

Sometimes I feel like I am back at my college lab doing research when I try new things with the LTR. One small step for me, one giant leap for mankind.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (5 children)

TRP as a sub is starting to mature from "here are some tools that you can use to spin plates" to "here are some tools that you can use to do whatever you want."

[–]thefisherman1961 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I think guys under 25 should experience at least one LTR. When I was in college, I was in an LTR with an HB6 and we lived together. I learned a lot about both women and myself during that time. It also really helps you nail down your sex techniques by having a partner that you can consistently practice with and experiment.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for offering a more nuanced addition to what I banged out earlier. Medium-term relationships are great at this age, provided you meet a quality compatible woman. Just beware of falling into the young person's trap of thinking every next relationship is "The One True LoveTM" and the concomitant problems of oneitis and both parties feeling they missed out later in life if you end up marrying.

[–]RedditArgument 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also worth noting, in LTRs you are drastically less likely to contract an STD or really any illness.

Swapping spit with 3 different non-monogamous people on the regular is naturally going to result in a few more colds/etc. than usual.

[–]NidStyles 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Keep it up, and if you pop out little shits, remember to train them correctly as well.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Haha thank you. I hope and pray that it never comes to that but I will keep that in mind.

[–]NidStyles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just keeping doing you and some great things are possible. Yes, even taming the wild woman beast is possible if you're capable of playing that game long enough.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (21 children)

Can you elaborate on the difference between the shit tests and comfort tests?

[–]Dollar_thief 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Shit test = proving you're good enough for her.

Comfort test = proving you're not going to leave her.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon 1 point2 points  (3 children)

My LTR comfort tests me all the time, I usually either a&a jokingly or just remain aloof. Is this 'correct'?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I'm welcome to being corrected here but if its a real comfort test you cant win it by a&a or ignore. They might be shit tests in disguise. Alternatively you have someone who has security or personality issues.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Nah, I'm saying I legitimately haven't even heard the term comfort test before, but now that it's described here I realized I get them all the time. I'm pretty positive it's not security or personality issues (at least not beyond the insecurity that most all women deal with). Wouldn't comfort tests be kind of a by-product of good dread game?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh right, yeah, you have to be able to differentiate them well, and you have to be able to pass both, each of which take different approaches. Yeah, they are a by-product of doing well, if you have increased your SMV with lifting or something else you'd expect comfort tests more often and shit tests less. She recognises her SMV as being less than yours and needs comforting but not too much- better to have occasional comfort tests than shit tests.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 17 points18 points  (15 children)

The ones I experience are very situational. The same sentence can fall into a comfort or shit test depending on what is going on. The only example I can think of is

Why dont you ever take me on a date, OP?

Shit test version: "humor me with your money and take me some place expensive"

Comfort test version: "I just want to get dressed up for you and make you feel proud to bring me around"

Knowing the difference between those two can both lead to sex. Failing the shit test would make your smv fall, whereas failing the comfort test could cause her to start crying (about what, im not sure).

Can someone correct me if I am wrong in my analysis?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I think /u/Dollar_thief nailed the difference, but you bring up an important part in the response to each of these. Knowing the difference and responding appropriately to the different versions is crucial to frame.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon 1 point2 points  (3 children)

What exactly is the appropriate comfort test response?

[–]HocusDaber 3 points4 points  (9 children)

how do you differentiate if she's shit testing ot comfort testing

[–]Lt_Muffintoes 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Shit test= are you good enough for me?
Comfort test= am I good enough for you?

[–]HocusDaber 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I got the difference, that was not my question, didn't want to mislead you. It was more like how to see if this sentence for example 'Why dont you ever take me on a date, OP' is in the situation a shit or a comfort test, because it could be either one. Because you have/should react drastically different to both. I also know that is hard to spot the difference, just hoped for some examples. Thanks anyways!

[–]clone9786 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really just comes down to context. Evaluate the situation and respond appropriately.

[–]kazaul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple version: don't look at the situation in a void. Look at it in context. If in absolute doubt, assume shit test.

It comes down to empathy, body language and situational awareness. Not just with what's going on in front of you but in the rest of her life. Neither shit nor comfort tests really come out of the blue. They almost always have a history and spew clues all over the place, albeit less so with shit tests in my experience.

I'm having a hard time coming up with examples but the main difference I notice is: shit tests are heard or seen, comfort tests are felt - sometimes in absence of any words or action. I've never heard a comfort test put in plain words, and never felt a shit text except in the urge to roll my eyes (may just be me though). Put another way: comfort tests evoke unease, shit tests bemusement. I cannot take a shit test seriously but will know something is off with a comfort test.

That said, I do get them confused fairly often if thought about consciously and go by gut instinct because I cannot tell the difference reliably. Turns out right more often than not. When it doesn't, it's usually safest to not try and fix whatever went wrong and just let it play out. That or blow the situation up, which turns it into a frame, blame, or dread game instead (depending on situation). Don't recommend the latter unless you're comfortable with drama though.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Intuition and practice is all I can suggest. Always look at her behavior after your response. You will be able to see if she is genuinely sad or apathetic about your reply.

[–]HocusDaber 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hoped for an answer to differentiate before seeing the result. But I know that's hard and based a lot on intuition. Thanks!

[–]awzor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Think through your last few hours of interaction with her. If you were in alpha frame then it's comfort test, if you were more beta it's shit test. Also, ovulation=mostly shit tests, period=high chance of comfort test.

[–]BeautyQuark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Primarily attitude from her. A comfort test should come from love, inferiority, or pleasant joking (pain). A shit test will come from bitchiness, dismissive behavior, or superiority.

The problem is women no longer know how to act feminine, and will often take a masculine approach to both shit test or comfort tests. Nope the fuck out of masculine behavior, and if it does not change next her.

[–]TheDialecticParadox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get into a LTR and you'll get better at telling the difference. Use it as an opportunity to practice. You will probably fail a lot of comfort tests but that's the only way you'll get better at responding to them.

In my experience, comfort tests usually come after sex; especially when you haven't actually gone out on a date in while.

Some of the ones I've gotten were:

"Do you ever think about leaving me for those other girls?"

"Why did you choose me?"

and the signature comfort test: "Do you think I'm fat/I've gained weight?"

These were all from one girl. A lot of these ended in her crying.

[–]Shadow_banned1 12 points13 points  (2 children)

This isn't unusual behavior for the start of an LTR. As we all know, her desire and devotion will fade over time if you let it.

If you haven't been together long, you don't even have to try in order to get this kind of behavior. Beta, pre-TRP me was able to get this sort of devotion from my ex for about 3 years.

You know your challenge will be to maintain this level of attraction and affection for a lifetime (if that's what you want). Frankly, it's a daunting proposition. Best of luck.

[–]Jack_Sophmore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's typically very hard to maintain attraction after about 2 years.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand and agree with you about keeping her desire and devotion up to 100% at all times. If it ever comes to a point where that has fallen, I will accept the mistakes I made, reflect on them, move on, and grow. I am always improving my mind as well as my body.

Thank you for your comment!

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 39 points40 points  (1 child)

I hate to ruin all rainbows and butterflys but, anyone who has a vagina has the ability to shoot babies out of it. Most women miss a few pill here and there which means over a 10 year span of use they have a high probability of getting pregnant. Any serious LTR has the potential to become the mother of your future children.

What that means is that it is your obligation as a man to instill proper maternal values into her. Because the modern family has failed in that reguard. You have to teach her to cook. You have to make her work out and work out right. You have to foster intellectual curiosity and make sure she reads and watches mind expanding stuff.

If you don't there is a risk that your child will be raised by a fat bitter cunt who feeds him poptarts and lets him veg infront of the television. Even if this LTR doesnt birth your children you can use the male leadership experience for the next LTR.

You need to become a benevolent dictator. This isnt about controlling women. This isn't about trying to be more masculine. This is about protecting your future children from the cultural decline. Stop and think about this one for a while. Then do what needs to be done to protect your unborn child from a horrible single mother.

[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said. OP, listen to this. Living together is fine but now that birth control might get left in the medicine cabinet one night by mistake. Train your woman. Dread Game is still very effective. You are the prize.

[–]1independentmale 26 points27 points  (7 children)

Another 6 months down the road, we had gone on a few dates, made out, and every single time I tried to seal the deal, I was met with a "sorry, I have a no bullshit policy. I do not fuck unless I am in a relationship". This chick was firm on her stance.

Time and time again I have seen men on this sub stating that if she doesn't put out in two or three dates, next her.

I think that's a bunch of fucking bullshit. We sit here and bitch about how difficult it is to find a good girl who isn't a dirty little cheating whore, then on the same hand we advise nexting those who don't put out like dirty little cheating whores. There are decent women out there. No, they aren't unicorns and AWALT still applies, but if a girl won't put out right away, that may be a sign she's LTR material. It could also be a sign she isn't into you and/or just wants another orbiter, and there are certainly a lot of other things you'll want to know about her before you take the LTR plunge, but not hopping into bed straight up with a guy she just met is a good thing for those of us trying to avoid STDs via serial monogamy.

I tried to fuck my current LTR straight up and she wasn't having it. Pissed her off, in fact, that I would try to fuck on the first date. She sent me a long email after the date about how she hadn't had sex in over 2 years since her last relationship ended, that she wasn't that kind of girl and that she was sorry, but she didn't want a player and there wasn't going to be a second date. I said "okay" and from then on, kept things completely platonic with her (we had mutual friends and saw each other frequently). Several weeks later, she pulled me aside and kissed me, said she really liked me but just wanted to take it slow. I said okay, we dated for awhile, made out a few times, eventually started fucking and the rest is history. The best part? All the bareback pussy I want and no STDs (no kids, either, I'm snipped) nor any real worries about her cheating. She's a hottie and gets a lot of attention, but she shies away from it instead of basking in it. I like that.

I think the rules you have set in your relationship are outstanding. I don't live with my LTR, but we've discussed it and I have a similar set of rules. The house is mine, will always be mine and I will never accept a dime from her toward it - so she'd live for free. I have to make the house payment whether she lives there or not, so it's not like it costs me anything extra to have her there (save for slightly higher utility bills, big fucking deal) and I don't want any confusion over who owns this home. Same thing with stuff, no 50/50, either she buys it (and it's hers) or I do (and it's mine). The point is there needs to be a clear exit plan. If things go south, she takes her stuff, I keep mine and we part ways without arguing over who paid for what, who is entitled to this or that and so on. That's the only way to do it if you ask me.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Time and time again I have seen men on this sub stating that if she doesn't put out in two or three dates, next her.

Bear in mind that that advice is reserved for girls you're plating. If she's not putting out early she's either a prude or a chick hunting a BB, using her sexuality as a bargaining chip.

You're dead on about girls who don't fuck early being potential LTR material, but it's not a given since post-wall CC-riders do the same thing. Need to vet further.

[–]1independentmale 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If she's not putting out early she's either a prude or a chick hunting a BB

Or a decent girl looking for a decent guy.

it's not a given since post-wall CC-riders do the same thing. Need to vet further.

Agreed, that's why I said:

It could also be a sign she isn't into you and/or just wants another orbiter, and there are certainly a lot of other things you'll want to know about her before you take the LTR plunge

We're on the same page, just using different words to express our points.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Thank you for replying, I am glad my situation was not the only one! We currently split the apartment rent, however I made sure that I could afford the apartment if she were to ever get kicked out or leave. If I were to buy a house, I would do the same thing that you are doing. I would want it to be fully in my name.

Interestingly enough, my older brother just got married and his wife is paying for their new house. He was confused why she wouldn't let him help pay for it.

Keep up the awesome work 1independentmale!

also:

All the bareback pussy I want and no STDs

yes.

[–]1independentmale 3 points4 points  (2 children)

We currently split the apartment rent, however I made sure that I could afford the apartment if she were to ever get kicked out or leave.

Smart. If I were renting I'd split it too.

Interestingly enough, my older brother just got married and his wife is paying for their new house. He was confused why she wouldn't let him help pay for it.

Sweet deal. I'd let her keep paying for it and stash away as much cash as I could just in case. They're married so if they split up the house is half his anyway.

I would advise any man in a marriage to quietly stockpile money. Get a little cash back at the grocery store or when depositing the paycheck, etc, tuck it away somewhere and don't tell a soul. Over time this can really add up. I was able to stay afloat financially for half a year with my little stash while the ex wife dragged me through divorce court irrationally demanding several times my actual net worth.

[–]GSstreetfighter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I wish I had known then... She needed a new car, the kids needed laptops and tablets, etc., then: Divorce! I got 30%, she got 70%. Queensland, the divorce-rape state.

[–]1independentmale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's about right. My ex wife got about 2/3rds. People think it's 50/50 but that's bullshit, 50/50 is merely the starting point for negotiation. Women can and usually do get much more and the lawyers take a hefty chunk off the top.

[–]flexiblehold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It may seem contradictory, maybe a paradox, but that doesn't alter the importance of accepting both principles:

1) If a woman won't fuck you after a date or two, you aren't attractive enough to her. AWALT. If Brad Pitt took a woman on a date and wanted to fuck her, she would let him do whatever he wanted.

2) Women will fuck a man attractive enough to her RIGHT NOW, regardless of whatever vows or commitments she's given to whomever else. Read: it's only your turn -- do not expect your plate or ltr won't cheat on you, branch-swing, or move up when given the right opportunity. Hypergamy. AWALT.

The objective in both instances for a TRP man is to BE THE MAN SHE WANTS TO FUCK

If I go on a date and it goes well and things get hot and I get lmr, blahblahblah, and then the 2nd date we get further and then by the 3rd I'm fucking her all night -- if there's some sort of progression there, great. If not, why should I or anyone else waste their time?

[–]Blacks_Matter_LOL 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Congrats! This is the way things are supposed to work.. Until you get to this point anyway:

I am definitely not getting married anytime soon. I always tell my peers, "I'll be in my prime till 55" and they don't believe me.

I'm definitely more of a traditionalist, some might say to an extreme, but it always makes me said to see intelligent people like you giving zero fucks about having children / passing on their genes. It's how we end up with such a dumb, dysgenic society... with only the stupidest breeding.

You have to realize that "good" women don't really have any purpose other than having kids. They can either be slutty hedonists (most nowadays,) career women (which necessitates acting like men at higher levels, even middle management, unfulfilling for them,) or mothers.

The path you're on right now is what people have done for millions of years before having a large, happy family. I'm not saying that everything would come up roses, but I am saying that a woman with a traditional purpose is much happier than one without.

That's why nearly every woman in her 40's and 50's today is such a raging cunt... they are supposed to be raising grandchildren, that's what they are built for. Not sitting around watching MSNBC all day. For men, there is nothing like the fulfillment that comes from having kids. Well, until the divorce rape anyway.

Like I said, it's a gamble in a modern society, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I do think you'll start to get every bit as bored with your current relationship (without kids) and you did with spinning plates after a couple years. Child-free relationships (to me) are just an intellectual dead end / circlejerk.

[–]yumyumgivemesome 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Sex was every single day.

Am I one of the few guys in here that get easily bored by having sex with the same woman several times in a row? This is the main reason I can't see myself ever getting married (and staying faithful). I crave something different, even if it means rotating through the same 3-4 girls. Naturally, I haven't had that type of rotation for any extended period of time because plates tend to drop left and right.

[–]kazaul 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You aren't alone. Maybe 20% of the people I know act along similar lines whether they want to or not. The large bulk falls into desiring a single partner however. The distribution seems to tend heavily toward single girl, frequent sex even among the BP crowd. I know very few with no regular desire for sex and a handful with high desire for multiple partners.

One interesting thing I've noticed, being someone who is the polar opposite of you (less partners and less frequent is best), is that I get along best with people who have a high sex drive and crave variety. Seems to me the spectrum runs from multiple partners, high frequency, to one partner, low frequency, and then wraps around again. I find frequent, single-partner hard to imagine, and even harder to execute, whereas I can imagine your situation fairly well, just can't be bothered to keep the plates spinning since nine out of ten bore me to death.

[–]ThunderSuit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The large bulk falls into desiring a single partner however. The distribution seems to tend heavily toward single girl, frequent sex even among the BP crowd.

That's what I used to think as well. I believe there's a transition, where, if you've been in a few single-partner LTRs, a trigger could/might send you into novelty-seeking-sexual behaviour.

I've seen many married friends switch from desiring a single (soulmate partner) to (a variant of) spinning plates.

Many BP men eventually transition. But as you've said, the belly of the curve seems to lean toward single girl relationships, due to the introduction of more BP/inexperienced men into the pool every year.

[–]Sibilant_Engorgement 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Just be careful not to give in to comfort and start sharing your feelings. That will change your relationship dynamics in a flash.

I was a beta that married a terrible person. 9 years of hell before divorce. After divorce, went full alpha, spinning 3 to 4 at a time. I had no qualms with getting two at a time whenever I wanted. But one night at the bar I managed, this amazing woman walked in. Moves in with her within 6 months. Started to become beta again because I just wanted to please her. Shared my feelings with her. We got married. 8 years later I discovered TRP and realised how beta I became.

Been on the pill for about a year now. She likes the changes and sex has gotten better and better. She accidently discovered my Super Secret Mens Club, when her phone died, and she used mine to Reddit. She told me that she agrees with much of TRP, and likes that I am into it.

She is trying to grow that unicorn horn. I will let her try, I like it.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Started to become beta again because I just wanted to please her.

Glad you were able to turn it around! I learned to only please myself in a plate / relationship situation and most of the time, the other will be pleased along with you.

Thank you for your advice and comment!

[–]AdonisHera 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really enjoyed reading this post. Although as of right now, I have no desire to get in a LTR anytime soon, it's good to see you have a strong Red Pill mentality. Once you have the "I can and will walk away if I have to" mentality, you can control every relationship and situation if life. Good post, good luck and don't become complacent

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Good for you man. I myself just got into an LTR a couple months back and by implementing TRP it's been the best relationship of my life. I don't take shit, I get sex whenever I want it, she treats me like a king, and thanks me for being such an amazing boyfriend. She even said to me last night, "How come no one has snatched you up yet?"

TRP is more than just banging girl after girl. This isn't PUA shit, this is real life, find your balls, and act like a man shit. I like to believe we are slowly bringing masculinity back into the world and more specifically into relationships.

And I think the women of the world couldn't be happier.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! Awesome job with your LTR! Being treated like a king day and night is indescribable.

Keep up the good work! The future is bright!

[–]simple_mech 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Can you share what you mean by shit vs comfort test?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Shit tests are usually what happen when you initially meet a woman and shortly thereafter, they also happen in the beginning stages of a relationship and more infrequently as time goes on. To be clear though, they can happen anytime.

Comfort tests are what happen during a relationship, usually a LTR, and the point of them is the woman is gauging how comfortable you are with her, how you are able to empathize with her. Usually they are in the form of "is he going to leave me" type of tests. Your job is if you want to keep her around is to increase her SMV slightly and show that she can still have you.

Another form of comfort test is the "Why are you with me?"

You get the idea.

[–]simple_mech 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Fitting username.

Yes, this is what I expected. I've been in a LTR for over 5 years now and I get these all the time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just be aware that the difference between being an emotional tampon and passing a comfort test is a matter of degree.

Being an emotional tampon happens at her whim. This is to say that if she constantly needs you to validate her, and you allow her to suck you dry emotionally, then that's you being an emotional tampon. What you want to do is be stoic when this shit happens. She should be validating YOU, not the other way around. You are the prize, not her. You can choose to ignore her when she tries to vampire off your emotions. It will cause her to drift apart from you at first. She will then have two choices, STFU, or move on. When she notices that you no longer respond to her emotional outbursts or cries for attention, she will see that it no longer works and will either change tactics to focus on you or leave you. Soft dread game works in this situation, you want it to be very subtle though, and a little sparing.

Now if she drifts, you can apply dread game hardcore, and her reaction will let you know how she feels. If she changes your behavior after noticing your dread game, then she will either work harder to keep you or leave.

Comfort tests are more of moments where you need to only offer a moment's worth of validation and comfort rather than the constant barrage that emotional tampons do.

I can give you a good example I read on here, and I take no credit for it. Illimitable Man posted;

"If she gives you the "Why are you with me?" comfort test, then simply say...

"Nobody out there is good enough for me, but I chose you."

Well, that response will elicit a reaction out of her all right!

It's effective because it shows that you are the prize and you can drop her ass anytime for someone else and she should and probably will pick up on the soft dread in that comment, and it also works because it validates preselection.

Whew! I hope that helps you. Maybe try this shit out over the next week or so and report back?

[–]simple_mech 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the well thought out response. She's a great girl and is mostly where I want her but we have our issues. I do most of the redpill stuff naturally because I learned all this in high school and college the old fashioned trial and error method, before I ever learned about this sub. We don't live together (both live with our parents, but I have an apartment I just don't stay there much, I enjoy the time with my family) but she cooks me dinner, massages my feet every weekend, rubs my neck and scalp when I drive, etc. But the issue is she demands a lot in return, which I don't have a problem with, but it gets on my nerves.

For example, I imply "dread game" or whatever but that's just something I learned from college. Obviously girls will want you more when they see other girls interested, only issue is that my girl tends to call me out for it. Even when I'M NOT TRYING TO! I'd say I'm a good looking guy and am in great shape so naturally cashiers and such flirt a bit.

Or things like "do you love me?". She says it jokingly but I never know how to reply. I assume it's just a comfort test but she always follows it up with "how much?" and that's where I'm like "uhhh... a lot?"

Or the thing I hate is when she gets in the car and says "you didn't tell me I looked good". I tell her she needs to be more confident but I'm not sure that's always the right move.

Or the worst is that she thinks I should spend more money on her. It annoys the fuck out of me. I can see where she's coming from because we're coming from more traditional background, guy makes the money and takes care of the family while the woman cook and clean and take care of the man/kids but this annoys the shit out of me. I never know how to respond when she mentions me buying her stuff. I don't mind paying for her food and such but it annoys me when she wants material things.

How would you respond to these situations?

[–]SplashArtist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't get complacent. She will eventually want to settle down and have kids or some shit. It'll start with the small things and then suddenly you'll find yourself with two kids and a ring on your finger. If that's what you want then cool, but just a warning!

[–]NeoreactionSafe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is good to hear.

Yes, if you can hold frame and she looks up to you then things will continue to be good.

Comfort Tests means she sees the relationship as about 80% / 20% with you the Captain and her the Firstmate. Your optimal setpoint is 60% / 40% so you have a little room to wiggle which is good.

I'd say keep doing what you are doing.

There's nothing that sounds Beta to me... you are the man.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! It is very motivating. The future is bright!

[–]user_none 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Another rule. If one of us is home first, they have to meet the other at the door when the other comes home. I know all too well of walking in after a long day and being completely ignored by your significant other. Luckily for me, I always get home second. She is at the door every single time with a kiss and a hug. Asking me how my day is. It is really a great feeling. The one time she didn't, I completely ignored her until she ran up and hugged me and said "sorry".

This echoes what I experienced, rather should have been the rule, in my last marriage. Every single time I'd come home, the ex would be on her laptop or something else, but never greeted me. On the flip side, I'd welcome her home. That dynamic always agitated me and I thought I was possibly in the wrong until I asked a therapist about it and he told me in simple terms that humans, in general, are pack animals and love to be greeted back into the pack.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree. I pride myself on learning from experiences. My education in behavior analysis really helps with that. I hope you also take this rule when/if you decide to enter into another LTR or if you are currently in one. Good luck!

[–]dbic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw a lot of my former self in the beginning of your post. Thank you for sharing!

[–]CornyHoosier 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Can you please elaborate on what a comfort test is and how do respond to it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

You're a behavioral analysts?? Do you play poker? How do you detect a bluff?

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Yup! It was an amazing course study. No I rarely play poker although a lot of my friends suggest it!

Its pretty difficult for people who have either been trained in behavior analysis, or have professionally played poker. Having a solid face takes lots of practice. The majority of people give off cues that are entirely dependent on the person.

If you find yourself playing with the same people, play a few games without any attempt at winning. Spend the entire time measuring what faces people made right before the cards were shown. You can pick up what the person does if they think they are going to lose, vs if they think they are going to win.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It's not just the face is it? It's their movements, tempo, tension, etc. I don't have a rational framework to analyze it. I rely largely on my gut instinct,

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's a combination of a lot of things, you are correct. Facial cues give away the majority of feelings in my experience.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But in poker, they often keep a poker face

[–]SimpleMethodology 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What are some of the rules you have in a relationship besides some of the ones you posted?

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't ask me to skip the gym

This happened twice. Both times she asked me to skip the gym to come hang out with her. Both were met with a "I work out for myself. I've been going to the gym longer than I've known you. Do not ask me to stop going again." The second time she asked me was a comfort test because someone had been screaming outside the apartment. I came home, the people left, had sex, got dressed and went to the gym afterwards.

Not a rule but fun tip

After your gym session and shower, call her into the bathroom. Tell her you worked your back out and its too sore to dry it properly. Have her pat you down. If you are truly implementing TRP in your relationship, she'll make you feel like a king.

[–]craftmaticrabbit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Great read man! I'm going to have to apply some of these things to my LTR. How do you deal with bills and rent?

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I consider bills and rent of an apartment non-tangible, I don't have an issue splitting it with the LTR. We get our bill a few days before the end of the month and I write on there exactly half (plus-minus a penny) and pay mine. She has never been late on a payment so far.

For me, I would never move in with someone who is not financially secure, no matter how hot, smart, or crazy they are.

IF you find yourself in a situation where the other cannot pay a portion of the rent, have them write you a check for the missing amount. That way whenever they do receive their income, you can cash it / deposit it. If this happens more than once, I would look into the situation more and determine if she is trying to use you.

Hope this helps! Thank you for your comment and question!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've armed yourself with TRP.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I would say the most powerful tool in my arsenal is my ability to walk away.

Yes, and what does getting married do to that little tool of yours?

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned in my post that I am not getting married until the age of 55. At the age of 55, I will assess my situation and either continue what I am doing (having a blast!), or begin a search for a partner to share the rest of my life with.

[–]entityorion 2 points2 points [recovered]

Could you reiterate on the rules you have and why? perhaps suggest other ones, and maybe how you came about getting her toa bide by them.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont get fat

This doesn't mean that they have to go to the gym or work out, just that they either watch what they eat. My LTR doesn't work out but she watches what she eats. If you are trying to encourage your LTR or plate to exercise, try taking them to a nature preserve or park and walk around for an hour or two.

When I find a woman that does flip her shit when I tell her this rule, I can typically calm her down when I say "I am attracted to the current you, much like you are attracted to the current me."

If that doesn't work then her LTR value has drastically fallen to me and she will no longer be considered LTR material.

never split the bill on material things

I can only think of a few times when I have paid for dinner. We always split the check. I also take this stance on buying things for our apartment. I buy an item, while she buys an other. I was straight to the point when she asked why. "If we ever split up, i'll take my things, and you can take yours." This rule does not apply to apartment rent since it is not tangible. If I were to go house-hunting, I would pay for the house by myself since its more of an investment.

greeting each other at the door

I explained that everyone likes to be greeted when they come home. I didn't have to do very much explaining after that. Whenever I come home, she's there. Whenever she comes home, I help her with her bags and give her a kiss. She likes it. I like it.

Don't ask me to skip the gym

This happened twice. Both times she asked me to skip the gym to come hang out with her. Both were met with a "I work out for myself. I've been going to the gym longer than I've known you. Do not ask me to stop going again." The second time she asked me was a comfort test because someone had been screaming outside the apartment. I came home, the people left, had sex, got dressed and went to the gym afterwards.

Not a rule but fun tip

After your gym session and shower, call her into the bathroom. Tell her you worked your back out and its too sore to dry it properly. Have her pat you down. If you are truly implementing TRP in your relationship, she'll make you feel like a king.

No matter how rare you think it is, down-to-earth women exist. You just have to keep looking. I consider myself extremely lucky to have found one so early. I will reiterate what I said in my post, I do not plan on getting married until I am 55. Then I will decide after that.

[–]TRPApprentice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound emotionally independent, which is the goal of being an alpha, so congratulations mate

[–]LukeRhinehart34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is good, i like your way of doing things

[–]flexiblehold 2 points3 points  (4 children)

So you hang out with a chick a couple times over the course of six months, she doesn't put out and demands you dump your plates and commit to her if you want sex, so you do and then you move in together within a month? This is the exact opposite of TRP.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

demands you dump your plates and commit to her if you want sex

She never demanded anything from me. I made the decision to enter into the LTR to have a new experience. It has definitely worked out so far.

[–]flexiblehold 0 points1 point  (2 children)

"sorry, I have a no bullshit policy. I do not fuck unless I am in a relationship"

^ Wadr, this is a blatant demand. The condition she gave you for sex with her was that you dump plates and commit to her. Enjoy her frame.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She wasn't aware of my other plates. I waited two weeks after that statement before dropping them. I spent that time getting her back into my frame. For me, I think it is ok to have rules on both sides. It shows (or appears) that she has a strong will. I can appreciate that in a person.

[–]flexiblehold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You waited two weeks to respond to her demand to be exclusive to her and then moved in together two weeks later? That is certifiably insane.

Exclusivity implies others, to be in a relationship is her acknowledgement that you could be spinning plates, so it is moot whether she has a private investigator's photos of you on dates to prove it or not. And if she didn't know about them, why do you feel so morally compelled to drop your plates?

Look, I'm not trying to get in a back and forth with you here. You may be in a TRP denial phase, that's my take -- but you're welcome to your own beliefs about your new LTR. I strongly read from your posts a desire to have TRPers confirm your unicorn and dreamy LTR are ok...I am not going to be the guy who will do that for you.

[–]StarDestinyGuy[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

B.S. in Behavior Analysis - that sounds like an absolutely fascinating field.

Can you tell me some more about it? The topics you cover, what level of math it involves and what types (since it is a B.S. I assume it involves it), and how the job outlook is and what sort of work it leads to.

[–]ValarMorghulis90 1 point2 points  (4 children)

It's nice to finally see a post that promotes a healthy TRP LTR. Got so tired of the "DON'T LTR, IT IS THE ABYSS THAT CONSUMES ALL LIFE. TASTE IT AND KNOW TRUE DESPAIR," rhetoric. It's just a matter of applying the knowledge and frame that is TRP. Best of luck my friend. God speed.

[–]AureliusThunderkok 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No kidding, it's like a sandy vagina festival around here at times on LTR/marriage.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thank you! It has been a year so far and I am still having a blast. I am planning on using this relationship to prove that the "honey-moon" phase is just something made up by those still plugged in.

[–]ValarMorghulis90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure man. The plugged in lose frame/get fat/etc and end this so called phase.

[–]collidoscope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"We aren't in a relationship. I'm with you. And you're with me." - Patrice O'Neal (RIP)

[–]lolacarmenlisterine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Many have mentioned the chance of a child and you did reply with, "no bio, maybe adopt". I was wondering where your SO stands on this, as a difference on this view can often spell disaster, in many different ways.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After reading all the comments, I decided to stop posting and ask her some of those very questions. She also does not want children so we definitely agree on that part. Adoption is fine with her but not till far later in life (if the relationship continues as it is now). Thank you for your question.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will seem like an odd question, but how big is your dick?

I ask because my current lay count is 2, and for you to jump from taht to 15, you must have a lot of self confidence in regards to your size.

I'm only 5.5 inches, and it holds me back in terms of game.

[–]1nowboarding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another rule I laid down, we don't split anything. If we're buying a new couch, I pay for it. If we need to buy a new table, you pay for it. It doesn't have to be equal but I will never split. She agreed that my rules were fair.

What is the reasoning behind this rule?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I pesonnally am against LTR but if it's your thing go on. I can't and won't criticize your decision.

The only thing : please, do not take her shit and walk away if the situation makes you miserable.

And don't forget : you are exclusive so you 'can't' cheat but by all means keep flirting with other girls.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely will not / have not taken her shit (luckily its minimal). Within the last year and 6 months, there hasn't been a single moment when I have been miserable because I spend this time focusing on myself. The dynamic I have created definitely reflects the "be interesting and make her want to spend her time with you, instead of the other way around" dynamic.

Flirting with other women, specifically, having other women flirt with you, is the perfect soft dread game to have in a relationship. She completely understands that if she were to ever leave me, i'd have another woman in a heartbeat. She treats me like a king.

Thank you for your advice and comment!

[–]Dueperdue 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I feel like this is one of the most mature posts I've seen around here. Even the comments appear mature and interesting. This thread by itself might be a unicorn.

I must say you setting such precise rules make you feel (at least through your writing) very Alpha in my eyes.

I hope you can maintain your status brother.

Cheers.

[–]willworkforreddcoin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I decided to take a break from commenting to think about everything people have said. I am always learning and seeking new experiences. The future is bright.

[–]blimp11 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

op is a troll... unicorn bullshit

[–]Moldy_Gecko -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I didn't read any of this. Why the hell get into a LTR? After Lifting is "Don't get married". LTR is a dumb choice. You WILL backslide and for fuck's sake, might get married. Just keep up the plates, maybe have a "special" one, but don't get into a LTR. You can still create memories with people without getting into a long relationship with them.