This is my first contribution to TRP. I hope my FR will help / inspire someone.
TL;DR: armored myself with science and TRP. Entered LTR and having a great time.
Up until the age of 22 I was as plugged in as it gets. I was stuck dating 3s and 4s, letting them have control of the relationship and running over me. My college experience consisted of making sure my girlfriend was taken care of, and THEN came school work and personal life.
Then I started my degree. I graduated with a B.S. in Behavior Analysis. It really showed me how simple the world really is. People are not special or complicated, no matter how much they think they are. Reinforcement and punishment are just as effective on dogs as it is on children, adults, and the elderly. I truly understood that humans are still just mammals.
I started hitting the gym and focused on myself. Fights ensued (I dont like you having muscles, LOL). Eventually I sat down and wrote out all of the good and bad aspects that were coming out of my relationship. The cons overwelmly outweighed the pros. I called the relationship off and cut her completely from my life. I felt free.
As if fate, I found TRP that next week. Every single principle clicked. Behavior Analysis is like the science to the TRP philosophy. I got my body in check, landed a decent job making 40k, and got my wardrobe set straight by a gay man (that really is great advice). I began the hunt for my first plate. A simple 6. To me, she was more attractive than anyone I had ever had in my life. Within a month, I had landed a 7. My confidence went through the roof.
Fastfoward two years.
My number count went from 2 to 15. Everything was great but I was getting a little bored. Not one of my plates were able to stimulate me mentally. One night at a party, a group of girls showed up. One of them introduced herself to me. A solid 8, great body and face, the hottest girl who had ever shown interest in me. We hit it off and I got her number. Another 6 months down the road, we had gone on a few dates, made out, and every single time I tried to seal the deal, I was met with a "sorry, I have a no bullshit policy. I do not fuck unless I am in a relationship". This chick was firm on her stance. I had never had an issue getting a girl to put out on the first date until now. I spent a good two weeks thinking about the situation I was in. I called my current plates and said I was moving on and cut them off. I decided to take the plunge into an LTR, equipped with all of the TRP and behavior analysis tools that I had in my arsenal.
She said hell yeah! I remember her asking me if I had any "rules" about the relationship because she knows I like rules. I said absolutely.
don't get fat.
Simple and to the point. She kind of paused and then looked back at me.
you don't get fat either
Off to a great start!
I like a little chaos in my life so as it turned out, both of our apartment leases ended at the same time. 7 months after meeting this girl, we moved in together.
Shit tests were rare and when they happened, I batted them down instantly. Sex was every single day. Most of the time I never initiated it. I would come home from work and she'd be laying on the bed. We did a lot of couple-y things together. We went shopping, we bought furniture, we decorated our apartment. Another rule I laid down, we don't split anything. If we're buying a new couch, I pay for it. If we need to buy a new table, you pay for it. It doesn't have to be equal but I will never split. She agreed that my rules were fair.
The one thing I was not prepared for was comfort tests. I had never experienced one before. That was our first scuffle. I hesitate to call it a fight because it was more of her crying and me being emotionless. I don't remember what it was about but I learned to pick up the difference between comfort and shit tests.
Another rule. If one of us is home first, they have to meet the other at the door when the other comes home. I know all too well of walking in after a long day and being completely ignored by your significant other.
Luckily for me, I always get home second. She is at the door every single time with a kiss and a hug. Asking me how my day is. It is really a great feeling. The one time she didn't, I completely ignored her until she ran up and hugged me and said "sorry".
Definitely not a rule but something that just recently started happening. When I come home from the gym and hop straight in the shower, she'll come into the bathroom and either get in with me, or grab a towel from the rack and start drying me down. She is really good at making me feel like a king. She says it's just an excuse to put her hands on my body. (guys, work on yourself. women WILL respond).
Just like furniture, food is separate. I have my cart and she has hers. We go and find things to eat for lunch and snacks, and if we see something that we would like to share for dinner, I'll buy one and she'll buy another. I don't know how much she makes and she doesn't know how much I make. It is a completely stress free situation.
It has been a year since I began my LTR and nothing has changed.
I felt the need to write this because of all the negative posts showing up. This girl is not a unicorn but with the right tools, she'll do her best to act like one. I know that as long as I keep my frame and give her the sex she craves, everything should hopefully stay the same. I would say the most powerful tool in my arsenal is my ability to walk away. I've never brought it up, or threatened it, but she completely understands that I also have a "no bullshit policy". I am definitely not getting married anytime soon. I always tell my peers, "I'll be in my prime till 55" and they don't believe me. I never try to justify it because they don't understand the freedom I feel.
I don't know if I fully believe it about my situation, but I think it will be funny to say: AWALT.
Everyone keep up the good work! My journey took three years and the best lessons I learned were: never stop studying, never stop working on yourself, hold that frame like a god, and always have a no-bullshit policy!