Go out alone. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Wolfengristl

[–]Endorsed ContributorScholarInRed 212 points213 points  (9 children)

Great fucking post. Not only is the content itself solid, but you've got the absolutely crucial element of TRP - and manhood itself - absolutely down. You must get out your comfort zone. You must panic a little at the strange sensation of following through with whatever you really want when that thing is difficult to attain. You must grind your teeth while you rationalise a good reason to quit and go home, rather than giving in.

The level of panic doesn't matter. How badly you fuck up your approaches doesn't matter. They don't matter for the same reason nobody cares how skinny that guy in the gym is, or how little weight he lifts; because he's there, willing to sacrifice comfort to attain a long-term goal. Some day, he'll be jacked. Some day, you'll have trouble deciding which one to bring home because they're all DTF. This is what men are made of.

Could do with the format requirements, though. They are mandatory.

[–]Jojonounee 40 points41 points  (4 children)

The level of panic doesn't matter. How badly you fuck up your approaches doesn't matter. They don't matter for the same reason nobody cares how skinny that guy in the gym is, or how little weight he lifts; because he's there, willing to sacrifice comfort to attain a long-term goal. This is what men are made of.

Couldn't have written that any better, once you commit to anything, being serious about it people will notice and respect it.

I started boxing months ago at a boxing gym in the city where I live, it's located 5minutes on the bike from the city center (210k+ population). One of the boxers there who has been training there for a long time, very skilled and very strong, asked me; "Why do you come in here all by yourself? I never seen anyone walk in here like that, most of the people that train here are either relatives or know someone who trains here." While most of the guys I met at the fitness gym I train at (which is literally 500 meters from my boxing gym), when I told every one of them I was boxing, most of them said they wanted to box too. Two times I have invited a guy to come do a training session on which they sounded interested but they never asked me about it again, I'm not going to push them into it, that's not my job. It then daunted upon me most guys want it but they never actually start. Which translates to they kinda want it

[–]Ausei 5 points6 points  (2 children)

What do you recommend looking for when looking for a nice community boxing gym like that?

[–]Jojonounee 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I really got lucky in that sense because I live near this boxing gym, it made sense for me to go there as it was the closest. But I also heard rumors about the main trainer there being really skilled, he's well known in the city I live in. He doesn't invest in advertisement, the boxing gym isn't officially signed up with the boxing bond (needed for legal matches). Also I heard he can be tough on people and rejects you if you're not strong enough. All of this was appealing to me, more like a challenge. When I get better I may have to look for a side boxing gym because I want to work myself up to the skill level to be able to do legal boxing matches. But for now this is perfect.

I guess gyms like these are hard to find as my main trainer does this as a hobby, he makes his money elsewhere, he drives a €80k Mercedes so whatever he's doing it's working. Maybe something to look for;

  • Main site doesn't look like a mass recruitment boxing gym, some gyms even have pictures of everybody training there. Or atleast of their active boxers.
  • You can just call them up and ask if it's usually busy there.
  • Google the shit out of "Boxing (enter your city)".

If there is a gym like this in your city or nearest city, most likely you will find it. But don't count on some warm welcome anywhere, respect is earned. The first 2 months you are a nobody, just accept that fact and do your training sessions anyway.

[–]Ausei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the info man, it is definitely something for my future. I think my stature will limit me in being effective as a boxer but just doing it and sparring would be great for my mind.

[–]Wolfengristl 12 points12 points [recovered]

I had no idea about formatting requirements. Do I need a tl;dr?

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Fuck it. Leave it as is. Better than most other content.

[–]vajradhara -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Read the stickied post above!

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (13 children)

Great post. Manson refers to your situation as "resistance to change".

I'm in the middle of his book now and will finish next week.

Resistance is our brain rationalizing reasons not to change and to stay in this comfortable place you've built. Even if it's not that comfortable, it is familiar and "better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

All those excuses are just that: excuses. They are designed to keep things just as they are.

Good for you for breaking out of that and making something happen.

I've been wanting to do the same thing and I even have friends who invite me out.

But I tell myself I haven't built enough muscle and lost enough weight.

My clothes aren't cool. My game is not that great. If I'm not 100% then if I meet the right girl I'll blow it. I'm too tired from work. I'm too tired from playing soccer that day. I'm still in monk mode (for last 2 months).

The excuses are endless. I just sit in my chair reading until it suddenly gets too late to get up and go out. If it's 10pm it's too early. If it's 11pm it's too busy. If it's 2am then I'm just trolling for drunk chicks and that's creepy. And I don't want to get laid anyway. It's so overrated. It never ends and it's not always rational.

I've got to stop making excuses. I'm going to do it tonight. I will report back honestly if I do and the result.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

It's 4:29 am and I just got back.

I went to two bars and I had a pretty good time.

The first place was The Cure and it was dead, but I ran into my friend who happened to already be there in the beer garden. I had been there for about 45 minutes before he came inside to get another beer. He was surprised to see me since I have canceled at the last minute almost every time I said I would go out.

We left there about 12:30 and went to Zanzabar and I immediately bought a slice of pizza and sat down with someone I didn't know. He made it easy since he invited me over to his booth which only had him sitting there. We hung out talking and my friend joined us.

I really didn't see a single woman that I wanted to meet. At The Cure it was dead. Every girl was paired with a guy and none of them were attractive.

Z Bar had more girls and they were better looking but again, I just couldn't see myself dating anyone like that.

The important thing for me was that I went and that I didn't get social anxiety disorder while there. I often get very quiet and pensive and unhappy and I go home and eat and feel shitty for a month.

Instead, I met several new people (all guys as there was probably 3 to 1 guys to girls at Z Bar tonight). I enjoyed myself which is new for me and if I go again and my friend isn't there I will have several other people that I can talk to if I'm by myself.

The only woman I actually had a thing for was one of the bartenders. It was busy enough that she didn't have time to talk so I gave her my best indifference. At closing my friend got another beer after last call because he knows everyone there. He introduced me and another guy to her and she said she probably wouldn't remember our names. She looked up at me when she said that and I shrugged my shoulders to say, "I don't care".

Still, I saw her smiling at me more than once while we counted down the last few minutes before closing.

Maybe there's nothing there and if so that's fine. What's important to me is that I'm not all fucked up about it either way. She's a nice looking woman. High cheekbones, big eyes, slim but curvy body and about 5'2" and mid 20's. She looks hard all night because she's so busy, but when she smiled at me at closing everything lit up (or maybe that was the lights coming on for closing IDR).

But again, it was a huge success not to go home miserable and feeling like a loser.

I plan on going again tomorrow night.

[–]Ika- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good on you, you enjoyed yourself!

[–]Fen94 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Well done for going out and having fun. I'd warn against thinking that the bartender was interested though, often that's a tip game, and I've heard a lot of bartenders, all genders, really hate when customers think they are into them.

But enjoying meeting new people in and of itself is really good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I understand tip game.

I wasn't buying anything at the time and was only drinking ice water at that point as well. There was nothing to tip for and I had only bought two drinks in the 3 hours I was there.

But thanks. . .

[–]Fen94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. Just err on the side of caution with service workers in general, that's all. They are paid to look smiley, and we can't afford to forget that, especially when it's been proven that we overestimate reciprocal attraction when we ourselves find the other party attractive: http://www.decodedscience.com/attractive-men-overrate-womens-interest/7928

[–]keepitsteady[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sweet jesus. This 110%

Its a hard habit to break man. You got this mang!

[–]fongiskul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God speed. Hope it goes well.

[–]epixs 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Whats the full name/title of the book bro? Really want to check it out based on your abstract here on it. Thanks in advance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do a reddit search for "Collection of some TRP audio books and PDFs".

The book is "Models" by Mark Manson. It's a pretty good book and offers a slightly different take on game and approaching women, but I think it's more valid if you aren't into plating women.

I'd post the link but the last time I tried it deleted it automatically. Apparently I can't link to something in Reddit.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (6 children)

Fantastic post. I say the same thing except I say it in regards to travel. Most of the people I know would never in a million years think about traveling on their own. Only losers and friendless weirdos travel alone, right? Wrong. It takes courage to pack a bag, board a plane and enjoy not only the country itself but also it's nightlife, all completely alone. The need to go out with friends is quite frankly an unnecessary crutch. And to think that people cancel plans because they have no one to go with is beyond unbelievable. It's a simple thought-process; You want to go do something? Do it. With or without friends.

[–]DogInTheBath 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I have a good friend who was broken after a breakup with a girl who he had been with for 7 years. He went on a 2 month trip to Asia, visited every country in the region alone. He said it was life changing and the fact he was alone made it better.

I think you learn a lot about yourself by doing things by yourself. Sometimes being with friends keeps you from exploring yourself. We are a different person around different people. But alone you find your true self.

[–]all_the_right_moves 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Planned a week-long trip to Hiroshima with my gf. Lost gf. Still went. Not gonna like it was kinda lonely, but still an amazing experience.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I should make a separate "Travel Alone" post that builds upon this one.

[–]skoobled 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Traveling with people is baggage itself. You're less likely to interact with strangers (terrible weird) when you're with your clique

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I waited for friends to travel with me I'd never have gone anywhere.

I've been all over the US, Canada, Alaska, Mexico, Guatemala, and India. I went by myself every time but every time I met people there and had a great time.

It is a crutch to bring someone with you and they slow you down because they want to do things you may not. Also, you have to deal with their way of traveling.

I traveled overland from Kentucky to Guatemala City with nothing but a book bag that I used for school. That was the only thing I took. 1 pair of pants, 1 pair of shorts, some shirts, socks, underwear, deodorant, etc. That's it!

I was like the wind back then.

[–]ifoughtchucknorris 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went to India last year and started off with a friend to do a trek in the mountains but then we split up. Best time I've ever had, if you want to talk to someone, there's always someone cool at a hostel, if not, put some headphones on or keep to yourself. There's no inhibitions when approaching strangers, you're just a person. You kind of realise that back home as well.

[–]SuckOnMyBigRedPill 22 points22 points [recovered]

Good Looking Loser recently did an 8-part, in depth step by step guide to going out alone. Pretty solid, gives you the babysteps for dealing with the anxiety of going out alone. http://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/how-to-go-out-alone/how-to-go-out-alone-to-bars-part-1

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Your link is my first introduction to that guy, but based on his introductory video for that section of his site, I immediately like him better than the guy at RSD. The guy at RSD comes off with the pushy, used car salesman persona that is borderline obvious fake.

This guy at GLL talked to the camera as if I was there listening in person. I don't know why people on camera think they have to look unblinking into the camera at all times. In normal interaction, people use hand gestures and looks to the side, etc. I'm subscribing to GLL's newsletter for sure.

[–]kinklianekoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

some of the game taught there is also very much made for actually putting out into action. it doesn't have the "social hack" element that is so prevalent in PUA culture.

For example the "nervous guy" approach is counter intuitive to TRP knowledge, but is very easy to implement and isn't incongruous like some other tactics.

you open with a mild compliment and saying you are not 100% comfortable approaching. isn't that inconfident and beta nice guy? kind of, but you only say it, you don't act like it. you also indicate interest, so they are not confused when you proceed to small talk for a couple of minutes. you finish with asking for a number and date.

this relies on looking good(hence the name) and acting confident despite claiming otherwise.

[–]krustytheclown2 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

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[–]flexiblehold 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I ran into a colleague (beautiful rack) and her friend (whom I'd never met) at a bar one night. I approached the colleague with the intent of having an "in" with her friend and/or to see about making something happen with her. We started to chat, some light flirting, etc.

This dude walks in solo, with solid frame, not a "hot" guy per se, but just a solid dude, dressed well, confident, etc. He immediately comes to where we are and asks the friend if he can place his coat on the back of her chair while he grabs a drink. She obliges, he orders, then sits down next to her and they immediately start talking, eventually kinoing, etc. I recognized this behavior as solid fucking pua, and simply admired it. I got into a convo with another woman (who I eventually #-closed and then fucked a week later), but as the night went on this guy was talking to both women. Eventually the friend left, he and my colleague had a drink and then they left the bar together.

Solo is the shit, keep up the good work man.

[–]Ika- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a baws, you are a baws too for not getting insecure and jealous

[–]kinklianekoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you can't hate on a guy like that. you simply got to respect the behaviour once you recognize its pure masculinity.

what's much worse is when you get "AMOGed" by the kind of social circle kind of game many good looking betas run. it's of course not productive to fret over, but it's still fucking annoying.

[–]Turniman 27 points28 points  (3 children)

Don't drink and drive, not worth it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Word. You can have a drink an hour and not be drunk. Depending on what you're drinking of course

[–]UncharminglyWitty 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It doesn't matter what you're drinking. "A drink an hour" is easily metabolized. "A drink" actually has an official measurement of alcohol.

[–]BangkokPadang 4 points5 points  (0 children)

12 oz of standard gravity beer, 5 oz of wine, 1.25 oz of 100 proof liquor

[–]stayunplugdmyfriends 11 points11 points [recovered]

My man. Congrats. It's been almost 3 years since I'd go out and have fun at the bar.

I don't have friends because I kicked them out for not being good influences, they went away to school, or have girlfriends.

Last night I met up with a girl from POF and after she left I decided to go to a bar. By myself.

I'm 6'7" and fairly large so I stick out haard. But I made approaches, got rejected twice, but I knew it was them. Not me. Finally chatted up these two boring ass broads who were not liking my stories. Not talking.

So I gave up my inhibitions, had a drink and just started touching and grinding up on a curvy girl with a beautiful face. Made out, she was grabbing me. Man it felt good to go out and just do something.

I got her number and I'll hit her up tonight and see if she wants to hang. Should I wait? But anyway the butterflies are real. And with time the 9s will be a breeze and the talk will just come.

I'd use military stories. Interesting, funny, demonstrate alpha mentality and brotherhood, and you probably have a lot.

Good luck man.

[–]Wolfengristl 5 points5 points [recovered]

Don't wait man. If she doesn't want to hang out now she's not going to in the future. Manson would call this polarizing. If she's not down find a new one!

[–]ScottRikkard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did same in my social circles. I had toxic company. Cut them all off one day. I have friends I can go have a drink but they are all gf'ed so no game from them. I have one good friend who is rarely available for game, so basically it's good 'ol me all the way.

[–]O3EAN 10 points11 points  (1 child)

This is to all the young guys out there, nobody cares if you're still a skinny little shit trying to hit on girls. Don't worry about girls rejecting you for being too young or whatever, just go out and do it!

WTF do you think other guys your age are doing? Going out with their mates they've known since they were little kids, getting absolutely smashed and hoping that some girl comes up to talk to them so they can fuck it up and get nowhere anyway(not saying this didn't just happen to me and my mates last weekend). Or even worse just staying at home watching netflix or playing the newest batman game on their playstation.

Most of my mates wait and wait and wait and wait until they can go out with one of us to the clubs and then they end up cock blocking each other anyway and wondering where the fuck each other are if they don't see us for 5 mins.

It's fucking pointless, you'd have better luck going out by yourself anyway because:

  1. Mates wont cock block you with shitty logistics asking for lifts etc/drunken behaviour that makes you look bad by association.

  2. You'll actually grow some balls because you don't have you're bros pumping your state, meaning you'll have to push yourself to be in a good mood and not rely on other people.(prob biggest reason to go out solo as most people can't manage this)

  3. You're free to pull girls without pissing off mates by leaving without saying goodbye or worse making the girl feel judged by your mates and making her feel like a slut for leaving with you.

These are reasons for going out alone if your friends are shitty wingmen basically, if they are good you can basically ignore the above and go out with better results than solo but that wont be the case for most people + majority of dudes on here need to grow some balls by going out solo, me included(although I have done it a few times with minor results).

[–]ScottRikkard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Expanding on your great message:

And if you do it twice a month, In a year you'll have 24 ball building experiences over any guy you know. (possibly lays) Think, use your head. You dont even need to read books or seduction until you encounter a barrier. Then post on r/seduction and see how to blast it, or figure it out yourself.

I stopped reading much of the theory cause it can build a prison of ''am I doing it right'' around you. Just do your thing- analyze results, and think around the obstacles. What works - keep doing, what does not - stop doing. Easy. Bruce Lee style. Hack away at the unessential. You are men goddamit, you are problem solvers.

[–]barryberry 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I was thinking about going out alone tonight, and this post is giving me the last push to just f*ing do it. I'm in a foreign country (work related) and there is no reason I should go to bed early tonight. There are so many beautiful girls around here, I would be foolish to not try to get some lovin tonight. Nightlife here I come, thx man.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

For real dude get out there.

It's my personal goal to have a bastard on every continent besides Antarctica.

[–]beachbloke 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Keep it up dude. I'm in the same boat -- new to solo nightlife and did the same thing yesterday. My goal was to open as many people as possible and try to escalate as far as possible right there.

Watching that "muscle" grow: I got called a name or two and rejected a lot, but it didn't phase me like it used to. I remember how I used to look at girls and feel intimidated, but after opening groups of women, its starting to change. They are starting to look like bratty children to me.

Seeing the BP world: I stopped talking after a couple hours to watch how other guys were interacting. Maybe there was a guy I could respect? But I didn't spot a single open during that time. Most of the guys were off in groups in the corners watching the girls dance. I talked to one guy who bragged about how "he waits until he locks eyes with a girl". It struck me how gutless most guys are.

The next leg of the journey: Where I think I'm losing girls is auto-rejection. I think I'm doing too much push. I need to make more good emotions in girls and get over my fear of intimacy.

[–]ScottRikkard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most of the guys were off in groups in the corners watching the girls dance. I talked to one guy who bragged about how "he waits until he locks eyes with a girl". It struck me how gutless most guys are.

lool how true is that! I rarely go out, but my night out is composed of more approaches those pussies did in their life time. I cant believe it. Some are taller, handsome and all, still - ''lemme just put my elbow on the bar and wait'' - you're not a fucking flower man!!! hahaha

Escalating - that's a thing I need to practice more, though I think if you do it to much - try to bring a girl into that ''drunken smile look'' (she is not really drunk, just so tingled it makes her weird) and then off to the kino/escalation.

I had one girl I remember - so crazy - I asked her friend is she drunk? She said, no she just likes you. It can be done, all with little cocky / abundance mentality. And relaxation. I could have fucked her that night, but I was a different guy back then...

It's all a joke.

[–]4benny2lava0 6 points7 points  (9 children)

I started doing this almost a year ago and have no regrets.

I had not yet found the red pill and was on a PUA kick. Long story short your beta friends will hold you back. End of discussion. They will get mad when they are by themselves and you are out pulling plates.

I got annoyed being pulled between the two so I started going without them.

It was easier. This all happened in new brunswick new Jersey, then I went to philly, and Baltimore. The freedom of being alone in a strange place will give you more confidence than you need.

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (8 children)

So true. That's why you gotta be careful with your company the more you ascend as a man, the more pure of a company you need. Only those who facilitate the will to power in you. And are not afraid of it, cause themselves are growing every day. Closest thing to that is this subreddit.

[–]4benny2lava0 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Yeah, too bad there isn't something like this in real life, like a red pill meeting or like betas anonymous or some shit.

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (6 children)

hahaha yes... As redpill grows, we might find more friends on the same level.

[–]4benny2lava0 0 points1 point  (5 children)

How long after red pill hits the streets you think before feminists try to say we are a male supremest terrorist group?

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I think as long there are guys getting laid and on their OWN terms, trp will be safe. Parading trp as gays do their freedom (nothing against - but it attracts hate and wrong crowds) would not end up nicely. That's why is often said - don't speak trp outside this subreddit. And you can meet kindred souls without ever mentioning you know about reddit.

There will be more guys having sex on their own terms, there will be more guys not getting married, and they will be wise enough to lead a life devoid of publicly yelling ''I am so trp, mgtow, mra, etc'' so no one will give em heat. Just a chilled sexed life filled with genuine ''amusement'' frame, while MGTOW's and MRA's lead a noble fight. Overseeing all like God on a cloud shaking head in amusement.

[–]4benny2lava0 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What about expansion? Shouldn't we want every willing and able beta swallowing the red pill? Or do we want them not to so we can keep the competition down?

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I dont really give a damn. Those who want help will find it here, but there is plenty of those who are raged by these truths. And only want to build stronger walls of self deception. You can only really help yourself.

[–]4benny2lava0 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah I'm not taking about being captain save a beta, however i would have been here years ago had I known TRP was here. There are tons of people who just don't know there is a better way.

[–]ScottRikkard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I firmly believe - when a student is ready a teacher will appear. He who seeks finds. I found it when it was just 2000 subs. Though it took several years to accept it...

[–]atlas87 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To your Sticking Point: If you're not in a pumped up mood (state), I just open with basic "where you from", "what do you do", "you from here or just visiting", blah blah blah, and then riff off that.

For example, if she's a nurse, clown her out with something like "so do you save lives, or give sponge baths to old people all day?". Use pacing and leading with that as well, so that conversation might turn into:

HER: "hehehe, I mean I don't ONLY---!!!"

cut her off and plow through with

YOU: "so when they miss the bedpan, you gotta get the gloves on and get in there".

HER: "WHAT!? No! hehehe it's---"

YOU: "I'm glad you're practiced in the art of the sponge bath. My shower's been broke all week and I might need to use your training to get in all those hard-to-reach places ..."


YOU: "...like my back you sicko. Not sexy like you're thinking .... that's gross, I'm a virgin. I don't put out until you take me on at least 3 dates .... fancy dates"

Obviously just an example, but if you keep toggling back and forth between non-sexual conversation, innuendo, and then put her on the spot, AND SHE IS REACTING WELL, just keep pressing that dynamic. To put her on the spot, I might do something like have her explain something, repeat what she just said to make it sound slightly worse, say "interesting..." like she is saying awkward shit, and then hit her with a shit-eating grin and continue rambling on. Might look like:

HER: "Seriously though, I love old people ... they're hilarious"

YOU: "So, you like changing bedpans .... interesting"

When I'm out alone: First, even when I'm out with my bros, I usually split off for long periods of time, so I kind of trick myself into thinking that my friends are there, but just on the other side of the venue. When a girl asks who I'm here with, I'll tell her I'm here with my friends but IDK where they are. If it's near pull time and she's driving, I'll tell her they went to another bar or went home because they're lame and try to bum a ride off her back to isolation. If you drove, you could say you're going to meet up with them, but once in the car play it off like "these fucking lame-asses are just going to sleep, so no after-party unless you're gonna jump in there with them ... I'll drop you off if you want". HER "OMG NOOOOOOOO".

Basically, logistics should be no sweat even if you're out by yourself. You can invite her to an afterparty that doesn't exist and then partway through the drive look at your phone and say it got cancelled (but she is still going to get a drink/water, use the bathrooms, find another party, etc at your house before she goes home). You can tell her you want a bunch of scrambled eggs and you're going to make yourself a bunch (then just drive to your house and make them...or don't if it's on). You can emphasize how bad you want another beer and just head to your house to get one, etc.

KEY POINT: Once she is compliant in either going back to your house or her house under ANY pretense, change the subject back to inane banter as you lead her there!!! You want to distract as much as possible from the fact that the two of you alone are headed back to your house unless it is already on ... in which case you guys are all over each other so you just gotta not shoot in your pants and not get too needy/grabby in front of others.

Once you can get her back to your house, continue on with whatever reason you gave her that had you take her there, or just invite her in for another drink if she's dtf or in party mode, or for a water if she wants to sober up. If her place is better logistics and is on the way, tell her you really gotta pee and to stop at her house to use the bathroom or something.

There are a million ways to play the close without friends, you just gotta baby step it. Use any excuse you can think of, but always be ready to give her cab money and let her go if she gets into isolation and is legit pissed that you lied about an after party or something. This might happen about 5% of the time and just live and learn. I trust that you can realize when a person is uncomfortable and put them at ease by handing them $20 and telling them they can leave if they have to get home, no pressure.

If a girl is going to fuck you, literally any excuse will work to get her to justify to herself why she's back at the house with the guy she's been feeling all night.

Nice report. Keep up the good work.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Good post man. I managed to go out alone a few times now. Its always one big anxiety issue. I feel like everyone there can see me standing there with no company or friends. I end up walking from bar to bar kind of doing rounds until I feel like I've wasted enough time. Or worse I just hole up a cancer patio and chain smoke.

I want to go out and meet people, I can get all ready and get there but I break down as soon as I walk in the door alone. The down time between groups or the lack of a 'home base' for the night is stressful and normally has me rationalizing my departure within minutes.

You've inspired me to give it another try though, I understand what you mean about the approach. I'm not scared of that part, I can open up a group and chat for a minute but after that minute I fall flat and normally ghost away as they resume conversations with themselves.

to be honest I haven't had friends for the last 7 years, 4 of which were at a state university. I don't know what it is.

[–]pinstrap 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Maybe your doing too much too fast. I can't remember the post name right now. But there was this guy who posted a 7 week gradual desensitization 'routine' if you will a while back on TRP. Just remember. Being social is a skill, it's something you practice and develop. Sure some people are born ahead of the curve but there's no reason you can't catch up. Also, check out SimplePickup on YouTube. Those guys are the shit.

[–]Diddlydangerous 5 points5 points [recovered]

Inspiring post. Models is profoundly good. You should watch this if you haven't.


And take a look at this for fun.


[–]Tie5o11 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Anytime you feel nervous or anxious about something and that voice inside your head is trying to talk you out of it- but you still push through with it- you grow a little as a person. Therefore, you grew a little as a person last night.

Going out alone may be a great challenge to some, and "just another night" to others- but what matters is that you pushed your boundaries and grew as a person.

[–]boscoist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

let me start off by saying, well done! you've taken your first step into a more open world. It was a bit tentative, which is pretty normal but you can do so much better.

For reference, I moved away from my friends and family 1.5 years ago to live alone and start my career, its been fantastic and I've been flying solo the entire time.

For starters, DON'T FUCKING DRIVE! Ante up and get a damn UBber, you're going alone so if you want to have any significant number of liquid courage (don't overdo it) Uber is your sober ride home. I've been doing it and I've never had a bad experience, hell you can warm up by riding shotgun and chatting with the drivers about... anything. Last week one chick driver compared me with Jim Carey, its shit like that or chil ass guys that get the night off right.

Next up, why are you bothering with clubs, unless you want the absolute skanks who will always shit-test you into the ground, its not even fun. Pick the nearest (Uber ain't free) "downtown" strip of bars and meander for a few days until you find some you like. Oh for this step, you should probably go earlier, like 2130-2200. Get friendly with the staff, they'll remember you and have your back if shit goes south. Ditto for bartenders and you'll never have trouble getting a drink, even if they can barely see you. Hell if you become a regular, you will probably start to get comped drinks (haven't had a tab that looks right in months). You'll meet 10x more people and more relaxed people earlier in the night.

Crowds are not your friend when you are alone...

To fix your sticking point, go to a bar with Foosball or pool or karaoke or any kind of activity, challenge the girl and her friends to play. Its a walk in the park from there.

[–]qwertyleftme 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Red Pill Material right here. I was on the fence if I should go or not tonight.

Thanks dood.

This gives me the courage to try even if I fail.

[–]ScottRikkard 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Failure is progress.
Not failing when not even trying means falling behind.

[–]a_broken_zat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NO such thing as failure, only learning opportunities.

[–]Spoderman1340 5 points5 points [recovered]

I've gone out alone a few times. I didn't really talk to anyone but I felt fucking awesome for doing it.

I just got a cochlear implant and I have to be honest and say that it's discouraged me from wanting to go out, but this post gave me second wind.

God bless OP

[–]AmazingAndy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

if its like one of the things old people have that lets them turn things up or down its probably a blessing in a bar. so much uncessecary noise

[–]pilledwillingly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did 5 weeks in the US alone (Aussie). "Wait, you're alone?" "Yeah, less people, more freedom, solo travel is the tits!" They either agree or shrug, and that's the end of that. Next topic.

Read Bang by Roosh if you're new to solo game.

[–]Imagines_Penguins 4 points4 points [recovered]

I went out tonight by myself thanks to this post. If anyone cares, respond and I'll update tomorrow.

[–]BehrGris 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I go out alone 99% of the time. I can't blame not meeting women on not having friends

[–]LC2775 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I have no need to go out alone because I always have friends with great connections in the nightlife willing to go out. Going to bars alone in the beginning is hard I'll give you that, but to clubs? Just drink a little and get the fuck inside. Nobody gives a fuck with who you are and most of the times I'm with friends I lose them inside the club and I'll just go talk to random hot girls.

[–]AmazingAndy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

where i live unless you arrive super early a single guy isnt gonna get into a club.

[–]LC2775 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really? You can always say your friends are inside. I have quites some connections as I train MA with most of the bouncers in my town so I have never been deni3d acess

[–]1jimjackjoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, now this is a good self improvement post that isn't totally cliche. It's not telling me that eating healthy is better for me or some dumb obvious shit like that. I'm currently at a cocktail party but I'm around the corner in the alley right now getting in some solo recharge time before I go back in. The mere fact that I want recharge time proves to me I'd probably enjoy going out alone, so I'm going to follow this advice and try it out next weekend. From my experience a man going solo is an efficiency/productivity machine--certainly applies to business but also prob applies to picking up bitches. I'll find out.

[–]ValarMorghulis90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second the Models read. Best TRP literature I've read along with the book of Pook.

[–]doritoesNcoffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Make sure to speak to men aswell. Bars is an excellent place for finding wingmen.

[–]AdonisHera 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I try to go to the movies alone intentionally. Went to see Ted 2, had a great time. No numbers, but I honestly wasn't trying either. Great post man

[–]Jani1157 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a struggle for me too, someone here suggested to check out meetup.com and joining some groups with people who are going out doing things you may be interested in too. I have something set up in a few days, and it might help others break out of that shell.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I find that live music venues are great solo spots. Not hip hop shows, because inevitably there are going to be a bunch of wannabe thugs trying to assert dominance 5 on 1, but anything that requires actual talent on behalf of the performers is an excellent solo spot.

[–]fongiskul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the best dates I've ever had were at live music venues. Albeit it was all with one girl but hey. You're definitely on to something.

[–]two-thirds 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know I'm going to have to do this. I can't risk relying on serendipity to be kind to me. It'll be my next great challenge. You're brave and thanks for the post.

[–]PedophilePriest 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Your on the right path. A night out drinking shouldn't be you meeting old friends...but you going out on your own willing to create new adventures.

Im a bit of a loner. But I would far prefer going to a new bar alone...I'll make new friends or I won't. Rather than bring people I know who only serve to hold me back in group frame.

[–]redasphuck 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Solo at weekends is a hard act because most people are out in mixed groups. I personally find the effort to reward ratio is massive, its a fucking grind wears me out. I am out right now solo and its getting boring now, can't keep engaging groups and NO single targets on saturday night.

[–]Wolfengristl 2 points2 points [recovered]

In my experience women are never out alone.. ever. If a girl is into you, then her friend is gonna let happen.

[–]redasphuck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my experience they are out alone week days never weekends unless a tourist. But yeah for me it comes to efficiency in the end huge disparity in single vs group targets. Manson mentions chosing one's demographic, makes absolute sense.

[–]redmeatball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you man. Sometimes just do it is the best policy. I wish I had such balls. I've done it a couple times and sometimes I feel like I just wasted my time because I didn't land any pussy, but I got to start somewhere.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

How does going out specifically to get girls compare to using Tinder or okcupid to pull a couple dates a week? It seems to me that tinder game is a lot more focused and direct than physically going out and partying. Am I missing something?

I've never tried to pulled a girl from a bar or club but have had much success tindering.

[–]thalaser 3 points3 points [recovered]

Not hating at all mate, but I find tinder to be a form of excuse and false abundance. Kind of like whacking it to porn, you feel like you have all these women around you but in reality you're just sitting on your couch staring at a piece of plastic and aluminium in your hands.

Plus better quality girls in the bars.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it leads to dates then I don't see how that is false abundance. Infinite attractive girls on tinder in my American city.

[–]justinjj1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I go out alone all the time, and I've never really felt weird doing it. Most of the time I find it preferable.

[–]Magnum256[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent post!

Regarding this

And I said "If ONLY I had someone to go out with!"

This sort of mentality is such a rampant problem with people that it's not even funny. People who refuse to take action because they don't have someone to show them the path. I remember when I was younger, most of my friends were sort of apathetic and unadventurous. Whenever I had an idea to do anything all I'd ever hear is "but we don't KNOW anyone to show us how to do that!" We can't go snowboarding, we don't know how and don't have anyone to show us how! We can't go fishing, we don't know how and don't have anyone to show us how! We can't start a business, we don't know how and don't have anyone to show us how! Eventually I had to drop the friends and find better people but it opened my eyes to how sad the average man really is.

It's 2015, you can literally learn anything through trial and error and referencing information found online. Saying you "don't know how" isn't even a valid excuse in this era, and yet I don't think I'd be far off in saying that more than half the people in society are these "don't KNOW anybody to show me!" type of people. So many people are afraid to live life, afraid of failure or making mistakes or suffering while learning. They want everything handed to them and expect instant mastery of everything they try to do. It's unnatural, we're meant to be adventurous and push boundaries, to venture into the unknown and explore places we've never been. Where would man be today if our ancestors hadn't been adventurous?

[–]Johndoesmith67 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that a baby! grab hands and talk for long periods of time. For sure grab that GLL going out alone guide. Due to that guide you won't be hitting the town alone for long.

[–]Wubalubdubdub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of my favorite nights have been when Ive gone out by myself, but like you it's hard for me to do it.

[–]Kelly_Gruber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been doing this for a couple years now, concerts and big events are how I got comforts for going out alone to pick up girls and whenever one would ask about my friends is just say I lost them.

[–]Forsoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to say the best night I had happened on accident. Went out of town to see a buddy, got there, he wouldn't pick up his phone, apparently he was passed out drunk. With no way to get ahold of the only person I knew in town and not knowing where he lived I went solo.

I went to the bar knowing one of two things would happen: either I find a chick and go to her place or I walk to the hotel down the street at the end of the night.

That forced pressure was just what I needed. Met a ton of people male and female, bought drinks for chicks, got drinks bought for me, danced my ass off with girls. Ended up going home with one!

Sometimes that's all we need, is to get the fuck out there and not have another option. Sometimes the comfort of your buddy to fall back on is what holds you back. You'll just end up bullshitting with him in the corner all night rather than taking those risks of putting yourself out there.

I highly recommend giving it a try for all you guys out there. GLHF!

[–]cxj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome post, I wish trp was always this good.

[–]opentolife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great job, that takes balls. Great move in the short term, in the long term building a group of men to go out with will further increase your SMV - and it sounds like you can be the leader of that group.

[–]MordorsFinest 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So no one asked you where your friends were?

[–]ScottRikkard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand this on a very personal level man. Been day gaming for some time now, have gone out a few times alone, and even managed to open 2 -3 sets, girls were welcoming to me and all in all - the biggest obstacle is making yourself fuck off with the excuses. I always felt dating only girls from my Uni is pathetic, firstly - I didn't like not one of them, secondly - there is so much more beautiful girls in this town, why limit myself?

I always felt a man should be able to - see what he wants - than go for it directly then and there, not over some friends squiggling his way onto her facebook or via her friends saying to her that he is interested.

Needless to say, not many man think like this, that's why we feel weird sometimes, being us, but at the end of the day it takes guts and self confidence. I know it all to well man. You will succeed, we will succeed. Great post, and make more, I might add some of my experiences when I feel like writing. It is true, soloing is hard mode and we need more posts of this kind.

[–]bleed_red_white_blue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solid. This is something I've struggled with in the past too. Have married or blue pill beta friends and even some friends that sympathize with TRP but don't take any action and make mad excuses whenever I try to pull them out to the clubs.

Had the same exact excuses that you had too. Then I just remembered how back when I was a fat ass and wanted to go to the gym, the same exact script played through my head. In the end, that fear will always be there at the start, you have to feed your courage by the actions you take.

[–]TRP Vanguardscottishredpill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

+1 for solo game. I pretty much exclusively solo game. I'm just getting back into the swing of it again after an LTR, and planning on posting more too.

[–]TRPn00b 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good stuff. I would add, do a workout right before you go out. If you can hit your normal gym routine, awesome. If not, just do a few rounds of push-ups, pull-ups, air squats, and whatever your preferred ab workout is. It will get you feeling pumped up mentally, and will give your muscles a visible pump.

[–]Evilpagan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll add this too. If you go out alone you can meet other guys who went solo to the bar, strike up a conversation, then help each other out with the women who are paired up or in groups. I've had this experience once or twice. You can always use more single dude friends.

[–]MGHOW_ATL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post - not only shows mindset but also divulges insecurities and fears in a good way. Cool insights and details we can all relate to.

[–]evergonitenitenigga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I MUST fix this! I WILL FIX THIS.

thats it. this is what trp is all about. realize the 'holes' in your life and fill it.

[–]pinstrap 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Props for manning the fuck up! I have a date with this chick tonight. I'm nervous. But I'm going to do it any way and at the end of the night I'm gonna kiss her

[–]franklyforthright 5 points6 points  (1 child)

why way to the end of the night?

[–]Havib3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have it in your head that you're that lonely creep out prowling for easy pussy, it will exude from you like a visible aura. If you just go out with the mindset of meeting some fun people to shoot the shit with and have some beers, it will come across and work out.

Truth is most "gangs" are made up of a rag tag bunch of people anyway, like 2 people know each other from work, 3 used to go to highschool together and 2 are actual friends etc and they're all "out" because someone knows someone in between or whatever, but actually they don't know each other.

Just get up to someone and talk to them and just say like hey I'm new around here just looking to come out and meet some people bla bla then talk for 5-10 min and have them intro you to the group and people will think you were supposed to be part of the gang anyway.

[–]trp-lurker 0 points1 point  (2 children)

post removed.. anyone have a copy?

[–]ericatx -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Ironic - I was at a bar last night and Troy was also on behind the bartenders.

[–]linenoize -1 points0 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?