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Blue Pill ExampleGuy on /r/relationships finds out about his illegitimate daughter. Refuses to let her use him as a bank account, is probably attacked by raging women across /r/relationships (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by anomanderrape

http://archive.is/wXP30

Here is the story.

So the guy fucked up in his teens and knocked a girl up. 15 years later, this kid who might as well be alien to him, rocks up on facebook demanding a relationship and demanding his money.

He chooses to not respond, especially after she becomes hostile, and looks instead to protect his assets and his own family, whom he's actually known and cared for his life.

Now whether you agree with this action or not, look at the response in the comments.

The women are raging. Absolutely furious. How dare this man refuse a girl his money? They act almost as if its not his money, but her rightful money. Like, how dare a guy protect his assets, a man's money only exists to pay for women.

Look at this answer her:

So, to answer your question... this dude, like my father, helped create a life and now has an obligation - even if it's expensive, inconvenient, or harshing his mellow with his newer, better kid. If he can't manage emotional support, he should stay away, not jerk her around, and do the bare minimum by giving material support. Help with college tuition, pay child support, throw cash at the "problem" if he can't be a dad. If you can't be a parent, be a benefactor. Life is expensive and the kid didn't ask to be born.

So like, even if we don't want your emotional support or an actual fatherly relationship, we still want your bucks? Notice how they offer no leniency towards a man, a man has no right to regret his past decisions. He must forever be held accountable! Or so they think.

Imagine if it were a woman. A woman is always allowed to regret her decisions. Even if she didn't bother using protection. Even if she's had five abortions, she should still be allowed to have another one for being careless. If a woman doesn't want her baby, she can throw it up for adoption, even anonymously, so it will never ever haunt her again! Can you imagine any one of them for a second daring to criticise a woman who makes such a decision? Of course not. A woman should never be held responsible.

But a man who makes one mistake must pay for it out of his pocket, because that money is a woman's entitlement! Look how they so easily self-insert into the daughter in the scenario. They can so easily see themselves hungrily pawing after the money.

If this story is true, then props to the guy for looking out for himself and his family, and not letting some stuck up teen brat screw him over for dollars.


[–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 64 points65 points  (4 children)

If a kid showed up at a woman's house, having been left at the hospital years ago by the birth mother, my guess is those same posters would not be insisting that "mom" open up her checkbook without restraint.

Nah. There would be plenty of empathizing with the "mom" who made a painful decision--likely because of a man, of course--to leave the child, and that was something we cannot judge her about. Because obviously the "mom" only did that because of some external force making her do so.

And now the "mom" should not be expected to provide money, because there must be a man or some men out there who should be held to account for all this.

Etc. r/ relationships is particularly prone to such lopsidedness in such matters.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It would be fun to put up a post in that sub worded completely gender-neutral to see how many hamsters insist on knowing which party is male before deciding who is right and who is wrong.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Etc. r/ relationships is particularly prone to such lopsidedness in such matters.

It's why /r/RelationshipsUncut exists.

[–]Demonoid_ 3 points3 points [recovered]

Literally 2 posts in that sub

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make some then! It's brand new and needs your support.

[–]RPthrowaway123 282 points283 points  (121 children)

I love how a man's past is totally relevant, but a woman's past "has nothing to do with who I am now!!1" It's such a bullshit double standard. fuck, shit like this pisses me off.

All these people calling him a piece of shit for literally doing what women do all the fucking time - try to ignore their past while they build something in the present.

[–]anomanderrape[S] 100 points101 points  (48 children)

Yep, can you imagine if a guy refused to date a girl who had 5 abortions in the past or who had anonymously dropped him off at an orphanage and never given him so much as a cent or a post card his entire life. "HOW DARE YOU ITS MY BODY YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME ITS MY BODY ITS IN THE PAST I WASN'T READY"

[–]spicedncoke 63 points63 points [recovered]

What's ironic is how feminists claim their right to abortion because it's "my body, my choice", but they are only responsible for 50% of the creation of the child, the other 50% being the man's sperm.

If a woman has a unilateral right to having an abortion without any input from the man (which happens more often than you'd think), than the man should be allowed to give up parental rights.

...oh sorry, I forgot, this is feminism. Equal rights only apply when it's convenient for them.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRed_August 22 points23 points  (1 child)

This is correct. Your biological hazard goes as follows: if you're a man, and your little community in Buttfuck Idaho is invaded by a band of raging Mongols on horseback, it stands to reason that it will ultimately fall on men to take the brunt of the attack as men are stronger, faster, smarter, built-for, and simply better at the task. Sure, some women may stand, and fight, and some might be tolerated in doing so if they are not an overall net loss to the initiative, but most would contribute otherwise such as mending the wounded, logistics, etc. If you lose, you're dead - too bad - and most of your women would soon after start tingling, and spreading their legs for their new alpha Mongolian conquerors, and life would go on without you - history repeated countless times.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles, too bad you're dead.

Should a woman become pregnant, the biological hazard falls on her to deal with it. If they don't want the responsibility of a newborn then they should either not fuck, fuck only if they have a 'safe harbour', or get an abortion. Having an abortion is not ordinarily a pleasant procedure, nor is having a baby alone, but - too bad - it is their biological hazard. Your mileage may vary according to your morals, but I think it's high time we pull that thick nonsense safety mat from under their feet, and return to some natural fundamentals.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anyone who wants to invade Idaho, well good luck. Bring lots of ammo and lots of friends. Like millions. Lol.

[–]BenjiFranx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% Equal rights == Equal. Not pick and choose... Pick low paying jobs then complain that they are paid less... still expect men to pay for everything... IF a dude don't kiss her ass and call her a princess then he is an extremist, or a hater... fucking nuts.

[–]RPthrowaway123 69 points70 points  (35 children)

It's very similar to the man not having the right to financially abort a child if a woman decides she is having it without his consent/against his will. Men are expected to be the world's god damn piggy bank. I hope someday that men say enough is enough about this shit.

Where is the girl's mother in all of this? What about this situation makes people think that him being involved in her life would even be a positive thing for either of them? They literally want him to just give her money so that she will shut up.

[–]merodiaj 33 points34 points  (17 children)

I hope someday that men say enough is enough about this shit.

Get real. If this guy doesn't pay to raise his hoodlum, then I'm gonna have to pay through taxes or charities. I thought TRP was about owning your shit. This guy ain't owning nothing.

I have swallowed the red pill, but I will still support child support laws. (though fuck alimony and fuck giving 100% custody to mothers).

Where is the girl's mother in all of this?

She's a dimwit. Who the hell sleeps with punk musicians?

They were both stupid and they should both own their shit together and carry the cost.

What about this situation makes people think that him being involved in her life would even be a positive thing for either of them? They literally want him to just give her money so that she will shut up.

TRP has published many, many articles that fatherless girls end up worse. It's accepted scientifically too. So yes, I would prefer prosperity over decline and I - as a member of society - want fathers and mothers to take responsibility. We should force them if necessary.

If you read the article, neither the mother nor girl wants money. Only the TRP 'hero' deadbeat dad is thinking money.

But I - again as a member of society - want him to pay up and own his shit.

I guarantee you that the dimwit mom is not rich. That means mom and child are probably being supported by taxpayers and charity.

I'd rather deadbeat dad be forced to own his shit so that taxpayers and charities can invest their money in the real problems, like orphans.

[–]jinougaashu 9 points10 points  (10 children)

You are probably the only one making sense in this thread, a lot of people here just take posts on TRP as gosbel, without actually analyzing what's being said.

Man makes a mistake and fucks Bitch, Bitch gets pregnant, Baby Girl is born and Man wants nothing to do with it under the excuse of protecting his family and his money. Well fucktard, you shouldn't have got Bitch knocked up in the first place and now you have to fuckin support YOUR Baby Girl, its not rocket science.

As I first glanced this post I was furious because I thought the baby wasn't his and he was about to get fucked, then I actually started reading.

[–]MagneticJohnson 7 points7 points [recovered]

having an abortion is pretty quick and simple. this should have been the obvious solution to this situation 15 years ago. instead, we incentivize for a teen mom, who doesn't have the commitment from the father, to have the baby.

instead of incentivize for happy families, we incentivize for single mothers and children with deep issues.

[–]tudy77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been lurking in this sub for quite some time and most of the posts I see provide really good information and present an interestingly different perspective.

I don't believe this is one of them, though. I agree with your view and I've done a bit of thinking: it's somewhat unfair that women get two "chances" of not having a child, one when they have sex and can use protection and the other when they find our they're pregnant and can have an abortion. Men only have one of those options and even though it's not really "fair", I think it's the way it should be. I can't see a moral way in which a man can have a veto on the choice of his former sex patenter to have an abortion. It's somewhat unfair but I guess it's one of those moments in life where it's just not fair and that's it. Fairness is a concept that we invented but biology and morals are in no way obliged to abide by that concept.

Some other commenter said something around the lines of "if women can have abortions, then men should also be able to financially abort a child" but I can't for the life of me find any justification for that. That "solution" does not deal with the problem that there is a human being in this world who exists as a consequence of your actions, while a real abortion does.

[–]phrostbyt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being the voice of reason in this reddit circlejerk

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are only 2 reasons women would contact a man after 15 years of staying the hell out of his life.

The first one is daughter needs a kidney, in which case they should have lead with that.

The second one is that they've hit a rough patch in terms of money and need some beta male provisioning. This would make sense since he said he was like 15 when this happened so mommy dearest would be hitting the wall pretty hard at this point and the girl makes an excellent way into his pocket that the court would even force on him if need be.

There seems to be a statute of limitations for a man to contest paternity. There should be a statute of limitations on a woman to assign paternity and/or collect child support.

Really if you cant understand how a man would think this way when his 15 year old daughter pops up on his facebook then you haven't been around here long enough to know that as a man you need to look out for #1 because noone else is going to be looking out for your best interests.

PS: Clearly she was able to raise the kid for 15 years without child support BUT if it goes to court it can (and likely would) assign child support retroactively since birth so imagine getting a bill for 15 years of child support showing up on your facebook page... That's pretty much what is happening here and the man is acting accordingly.

[–]interestedplayer 23 points24 points  (4 children)

without his consent/against his will. Men are expected to be the world's god damn piggy bank. I hope someday that men say enough is enough about this shit.

I have posted this before and I'll post it again, because it perfectly fits todays world for a (white) male:

If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?"

I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?"

To shrug.

Thats whats happening. Men are carrying the world on their backs and their effort, and the more they do it the more is expected off of them.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

To continue with your metaphor, MGTOW is shrugging. Thing is, plenty of men want a family (kids.)

[–]razorwan 7 points8 points  (10 children)

It's kind of funny, from a legal perspective. Kids are the genetic property of both parents, yet due to biological functions that one parent was born with, she has all the cards just because she carried around the kid for 9 months. It really goes to show how perverse feminism has gotten, to infiltrate its way into law.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I never understood the logic behind "her past doesnt matter". Your past (experience) is who you are now, without your past you dont exist.

[–]Endorsed ContributorDenswend 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Probably the most important thing I've got from TRP is that you never take what a woman and female-like creatures says out of context, and then try to apply it generally.

"Oh, silly, it's the who raises them that's important" when it comes to banning paternity tests while at the same time "It's your sperm, so pay shit up" when the topic of child support comes up. A person might ask "but isn't that hypocritical - cause you support cultural thesis in one instance, but deny it in the other".

Dead wrong. It's not hypocritical at all. They don't use ideas for the sake of ideas, let alone themselves for the sake of their ideas. They use their ideas to benefit themselves. Female Imperative is the embodiment of Briffault's Law and it has no loyalty to any ideology but itself.

So you see, in the both examples above, Female Imperative was loyal to the Female Imperative - not culture or genetic based ideologies. Nothing hypocritical - even though they are not exactly conscious of that - and you'd never get women to openly admit that - they'd lose all their moral superiority and thus look bad.

[–]MHOOD01 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You should've seen the TIL thread about Billie Piper refusing her husbands money when she got a divorce.

[–]HOLIDAY_headcase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That drove a bunch of people here.

[–][deleted] 45 points45 points

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[–]farnsworth_esq 33 points34 points  (0 children)

To back you up, from a legal prospective, this man has zero obligations to this child. It was on the mother to petition the court for child support. She didn't. End of discussion. No obligations are owed by this man.

[–]Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 20 points21 points  (18 children)

If the child really is his seed, then he has permanent obligations to her.

Why? Because of rules of morality? Whose morality? We have abandoned all rules of morality for women, how do you suggest we hold women accountable? They can abort or abandon as they see fit, and the social climate is pushing hard to make sure every single weed of criticism and non-compliance to that imperative is pulled out and shamed.

Philosophically, perhaps it is better to hold everyone accountable, and I do believe that throwing away personal responsibility can only hurt a society. However, practically speaking, there is nothing you can do to hold women accountable, so if you stubbornly maintain men's accountability, you're just keeping the status quo and the unfairness of the current situation.

Accept that men will simply stop caring, eschew their responsibility, and you'll start enjoying the decline. That's, perhaps paradoxically, the best way to return to a social enforcement of personal responsibility for everyone: abandon it, and let everyone realize how fucked the situation becomes when men start behaving as women have.

[–]merodiaj 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Practically, perhaps it is better to hold everyone accountable

FTFY.

Women are held accountable for children. If you don't take proper care of them, CPS will take them away from you.

So yes, dads should be held accountable too. Both financially and as parents. There are already enough girls wandering around with daddy issues.

[–]Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, CPS takes them away and the parents (this one applies to both genders) don't have to care for them anymore. So in effect, no responsibility.

But that's not what we're talking about, this is specifically about the gap between the options of women who don't want to be a parent (abortion, adoption, abandonment) vs those of men (none).

[–]1independentmale 31 points32 points  (5 children)

If the child really is his seed, then he has permanent obligations to her.

No, he doesn't. Especially not the way she's acting. This girl is almost a legal adult. She reached out to him in the shittiest way possible. Her mother has likely spent the entirety of her 15 years running this man down and blaming him for all of their problems. Whatever relationship they may have been able to cultivate is permanently broken, poisoned from the moment that child was born. The girl will never respect him and will continue to act like an entitled little cunt toward him

Would you hand out money to an entitled little cunt who treats you like shit and wants nothing to do with you? I sure as fuck wouldn't. Not even my own daughter. I can say this with absolute certainty because I do have a teenage daughter, I did raise her and care for her and have spent more money on her than anyone ever has or will, and yet she decided about a year ago to follow in her mother's (my ex wife's) footsteps and began treating me like shit. I gave her multiple warnings that her behavior wouldn't be tolerated, then I kicked her ass out of my home and cut her off. I'll always love her, but I won't reward her pissy attitude.

You don't have an obligation to put up with shitty behavior from anyone. Not your friends, nor your family and definitely not your children.

[–]occupythekitchen 25 points26 points  (1 child)

yes but the law is not on his side, he gives her a car (which is probably what she wants) then he sets a standard of being able to afford this, then they can go after him for 15 years of missed child support and jail him. The law is what is making him have to not have any obligation not his own moral.

[–]TheHeroReditDeserves 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ill say it again if they were not on welfare he might get off ok but if they were hes gonna be in deep shit.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba 33 points34 points  (17 children)

If the child really is his seed, then he has permanent obligations to her.

Nope. He has obligations to his legitimate children. A woman wants to have a kid out of wedlock? The kid is her problem, no one elses. No marriage contract? No support.

This is how you stop out of wedlock births and single motherhood.

[–]omg_cats 12 points12 points [recovered]

This is how you stop out of wedlock births and single motherhood.

Holy shit. My mind has just been blown.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You mean we stop incentivizing and subsidizing behavior we don't like? But misogyny!

[–]merodiaj 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OK, but then as a father I want the right to have any man arrested who dare defile my daughter without wedding her.

It's a two way street. No marriage contract? No sex.

That was Marriage 1.0

It was created by fathers and it was fathers who made it work.

[–]LeFlamel 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I disagree. It's the enforcement of accountability that permits sluts to be sluts. Hell it fucking encourages it. Why the heck would a knocked up chick even bother with an abortion if she can have the kid and know that the father is going to be forced by law to take care of it? The same child support laws that incentivize divorce rape also enable this shit. Zero accountability environments have the paradoxical effect of making people more accountable. If chicks have the right to withdraw maternal investment via abortion, guys should be just as free to withdraw paternal investment.

[–]NidStyles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Accountability is not something a society can enforce, because once it does, it extracts that accountability and projects it onto someone else. It essentially invalidates itself.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are women who you know have the abortion because they know Deadbeat Dan can't and won't ever improve in life and will never be able to get a decent job to pay a decent amount of child support.

Of course before that happens she'll try to pin the paternity on Beta Benny.

[–]RPthrowaway123 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Oh I understand that. I don't want a zero-accountability world, quite the opposite. It just pisses me off that these bitches can support such an obvious double standard. But that's my logic talking again!

[–]NidStyles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Accountability is nonsense though. How do you hold a person accountable for the choices of another? You can't without plainly violating the idea and concept of accountability.

[–]malditoduende 1 points1 points [recovered]

If it helps you feel any better, it's because everyone subconsciously knows women are inferior.

[–][deleted] -2 points-2 points

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[–]shhRP[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't see in the post where they were asking for his money - simply for him to be involved.

And I'm sorry redpill, but part of being a man means being accountable for your actions. Lawyering up to keep your child from their father because you are too scared/whatever is in no way commendable.

[–]truthiesttruth 62 points63 points  (21 children)

The situation sucks.

Assuming its not a scam:

I would not want my genetic offspring struggling, but at the same time the bitch he knocked up willfully chose to exclude him from the childs life, that includes financially. I dont buy that 'pay to raise the kid but gtfo if you actually want anything more to do with it' mentality society has granted women. He should have the right to sue mother cunt, shes the only person in this situation that deserves hate.

Then again it is team womyn over in that shitdump subreddit, so I am not surprised.

If it is a scam: lols.

[–]anomanderrape[S] 59 points60 points  (15 children)

The mother didn't contact him for 15 years. If she is his daughter, he already missed out on the most pivotal years of her life and on raising her. At this point he's nothing more than a sperm donor, so he owes them nothing. If they want him to pay up, they should have atleast tried to involve him as a father when she was born. He owes her nothing. The only link he has with her is genetic material by chance. Are the women in /r/relationships next going to demand that all sperm donors pay up? I'm sure they will one day.

[–]RPthrowaway123 12 points13 points  (13 children)

If his name isn't on the birth certificate (which he doesn't mention but if he didn't even know she existed then it makes sense) why would he be obligated to pay for her?

[–]GuitarHero07 19 points20 points  (11 children)

The OP provided an update. He consulted with an attorney who informed him that he could not be held liable for back child support because he never acted in a fatherly role and was not named as the father. If a paternity test proves he is the father, he could be on the hook for child support going forward though. I'm not sure about how it is in California but in NY you have to pay until the "child" is 21.

[–]RPthrowaway123 39 points40 points  (3 children)

So a paternity test could put a man back on the hook, but it can't take him off the hook when the kid isn't his? Real nice.

[–]Endorsed Contributorzyk0s 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The law follows what /u/Denswend remarked above. It's not about principles of the nature of fatherhood, but how to rationalize the need for particular men to pay.

[–]GuitarHero07 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yup, that's exactly right. In most jurisdictions, you only have a limited amount of time to contest paternity. Beyond that, you're on the hook regardless of whether or not you are the biological father. That's the case even if you were the victim of paternity fraud.

In France, it is illegal to even test your kid in the interests of "protecting the cohesion of the family."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if I'm ever in France banging a married chick, remind me to not use a rubber.

[–]1independentmale 2 points3 points  (1 child)

In some states you have to pay for the "child's" college education, too. That can put you on the hook for huge money until the "child" is 24. It's called "post secondary educational support" and it ought to be illegal.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm surprised someone hasn't challenged it in an actual court of justice. After the child has hit the age of majority (18) you shouldn't be forced to continue a relationship with said child because they're now a fully responsible and legal adult.

[–]SleepNowMyThrowaway 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Why? Because America.

Seriously - nothing matters in this Earth other than:

1 * A woman is in need

2 * A man is, even if tangentially related, responsible to hand her money.

And since money is earned by exchanging your life, he is required by our fucked up system to hand her his life.

He is slave to her, and the state.

[–]gggh0st 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Fuck that either way. He wanted an abortion. A man should never have to support a woman who disregarded his wishes like that. I wish there were a legal precedence for this.

[–]Belvorus 5 points5 points [recovered]

I personally have had thoughts on this, I am an older married guy too, that if we want true equality men should be allowed to have a "financial abortion" before a child is born if they are not married to the woman. It will never happen, but I think that would be a sign that the culture valued man's lives. Of course the need goes out the window with male contraception.

[–]zenkibudo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Assuming its not a scam:

Thanks for highlighting that little detail. It's the first 'step back and take a deep breath' marker. There are others, and mentioned here by other posters, but this one trumps all.

[–]BattleDrillOneAlpha 69 points70 points  (5 children)

Honestly, the guy was a dumb ass when he was younger. He was immature and decided that the "out of sight, out of mind" approach was better than knowing for sure that the kid is his or even if the kid was born. Now he has to deal with the consequences.

With that being said, if you read the first post, you will know why these women hate him so much and aren't giving him any advice before telling him that he is a shit father for his 3 year old son. He was the "douchebag" rocker that a lot of these chicks fell for and got dumped by, or the archetype of the guys they all wanted to hate. He epitomizes everything that these Reddit crusaders have conditioned themselves to not like.

Being that it is the Relationships sub, it is full of females that love "sorting out" these problems. They all seem to forget the mother's role. She was a groupie for a shitty rock band that never made it; that tells you something about her. While the OP made mistakes, the mother also made some big mistakes by never contacting OP again, even after he said he didn't want anything to do with a kid at that time. She still should have told him that the baby was in fact born and that he needed to sign the birth certificate or w/e. She should have made sure that he knew and was liable to for support.

Instead the mother probably sulked and said "woe is me". She probably had religious convictions or something that stopped her from getting an abortion, so she had the child. Rationalizing that the OP didn't want anything to do with the child after the initial shock and awe conversation they had, she never went to him. The mother spins that story for 15 years, it is now the father's fault 100%, and you know have a teenage girl that only knows what the mother said of him.

Both sides did wrong. But I think it is insensitive and stupid for the people in that sub to act like OP is somehow a terrible father or selfish. All he wants is for his current family to function. He should confront this situation head on, get a paternity test, keep seeing his lawyer, and deal with any consequences because really that is the only thing that will settle this.

[–]cariboo_j 37 points38 points  (1 child)

If she wanted child support she should have hit him up from the very start.

The guy would have had a chance to plan his finances and life accordingly.

Showing up and saying "surprise!" 15 years later puts him in an unfair position.

[–]anomanderrape[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If he adopts a fatherly role at this point, he could get screwed and set up for years of backlog of child support. Who's to say the mom isn't engineering this and getting her daughter to play at his symathies?

[–]NakedAndBehindYou 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Instead the mother probably sulked and said "woe is me".

Or more likely, she went looking for beta bucks, because she knew that OP was alpha fucks who would never take care of the kid.

[–]ThePedanticF0x 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Consider the mother's decision to willingly exclude this man from the child's life, there are a few reasons why women do this, all of which poses strong cause for suspicion in terms of paternity.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 9 points10 points  (6 children)

helped create a life and now has an obligation

Life is expensive and the kid didn't ask to be born.

Obligations come with rights and in a country where men have right to neither paternity nor choosing whether a kid should be born, we ideologically have no obligation of any kind unless the child was conceived with our agreement.

We don't even have rights over our own nuts: trying to get a Vasectomy in your 20s demonstrates it. With that in mind, book a vacation overseas with a side goal of getting S/RISUG and consider expatting permanently while there.

[–]Unpopular_But_Right 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Until there's a paternity test, the kid isn't his. Period.

[–]TheSchnozzberry 21 points22 points  (1 child)

So I read both of his posts. No where does it say that the daughter-in-question wants any sort of financial retribution. In fact the dude hires a lawyer for just in case that does happen but so far the only ones asking for anything monetary are just the commenters on the thread. Also we aren't even sure the daughter is his. She's probably just been told that her whole life and the only way for certain to determine now would be a paternity test.

Even if it turns out he is the father I wish he didn't have to spend a dime in child support he was fully for termination of pregnancy and then was told for years that she put the child up for adoption. Only after a decade goes by does he see that the mother kept the child. It'd be a pretty malicious thing to do to make this man support a child that might be his after he expressed he didn't want it and was lied to about what happened to it.

But then again we live in a country where a boy can get raped and then be forced to pay child support to his illegitimate child that is a constant reminder that he was basically raped twice. Once by a woman and once by the government.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No where does it say that the daughter-in-question wants any sort of financial retribution.

Apparently according to the law they can get back child support if he now starts acting in a fatherly manner.

[–]Sir_Shitlord_focker 36 points37 points  (9 children)

"demanding a relationship and demanding his money."

Not true. Read the fucking thing, she insulted him and then blocked him, she asked neither of those things. Facts are facts.

[–]merodiaj 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Nowadays, TRP is an ugly hybrid bastard child of MGTOW/JusticePorn.

The days when it was about discussing uncomfortable truths are gone. Now we just want stories that comfort red pillers and would cause normal blue pill people to cringe.

These stories serve the same purpose that inside jokes, handshakes, songs and stories server: our 'non-normal' reaction signals to the group that we are a part of the group.

[–]TomDemian 5 points5 points [recovered]

90% of the activity in TRP is empty posturing so people look "red pill". They want to fit in. It's this weird PUA attitude where everyone wants to follow a certain system.

Notice the disdain for the fashion posts that have been made recently. "TRP isn't about fashion" they cry. But why isn't it? Who said?

TRP isn't about fashion because there's no big fashion FAQ "on the sidebar". They simply cannot accept anything which hasn't already been pre-approved by the community at large. They want an authority to tell them what to think.

[–]phrostbyt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm convinced that half the posters here are just nerds fantasizing about being macho

[–]Sdom1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

[–]Sir_Shitlord_focker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now let's not dramatize, I enjoy justice porn as much as the next guy, but I'm not willing to make shit up to get it :D

TRP has saved my life, It's got a lot of good about it, but yeah there's groupthink in every group, thankfully I'm immune to it, usually making me a fringe member in any organization.

There's a lot of truth in the side bar, a lot more than in everyday life. I'm watching this new TV show called "I am Jazz" about this transexual teenage ladyboy.

She's upset because the boys in school won't flirt with her, and her family/doctor/friends are ALL selling this as normal, it will come, you'll see, it's all about personality....

It sounds exactly like what people would tell me when I would never have a girlfriend growing up and be turned down by all the girls. It's a lie.

And it tears you up inside.

When it's so simple to say the truth, then people know where they stand at least, they can move if they want to. Lies create a state of paralysis where you are forever doomed to repeat the same pattern of failure.

TRP is build around breaking that pattern, so of course there's a lot of "splash" around the edges, but that doesn't invalidate the need for TRP.

Any yeah this post was stupid and misleading, should have been edited at least.

[–]randombrodude 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Guy didn't just "fuck up as a teen" either, he was 19 when got the girl pregnant. That's an adult and he should know to wear a fucking rubber if he doesn't want a child to support.

Honestly, this guy comes across like an insecure baby fuck. All he does is complain about "how hard it is", and that "he's really a nice, responsible guy", despite being a dick with no sense of responsibility to his own daughter. Basically, running a male hamster so he can feel like he isn't a dick even while acting like nothing but a dick. It's no wonder he fucked up his marriage either.

Sure, there's a double standard. Women are given way more leniency in running from their mistakes. But this bullshit should be infuriating no matter who's doing it.

Yeah, this guy should be held responsible for his one mistake. Sometimes one time is all it takes, tough shit.

[–]Sir_Shitlord_focker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me it smells like bait. I could be wrong but the way it's been written, the style, my radar just goes off.

[–]collidoscope 36 points37 points  (6 children)

I read the original post and the update and at no point does the daughter ask for money. At no point does the mother ask for money or complicate this man's life. If every man who had a child he didn't want ended up in this guy's position, they would be thankful. This guy is a huge pussy.

[–]fastball21 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And at no point has a DNA test been done to determine paternity. He's owes nothing to anyone until that's confirmed, and that should be a conversation between him and the mother, not between his Facebook account and an aggrieved 15 year old he's never met. In all seriousness if a 15 year girl started contacting me through social media, I'd shut everything down because there's no way anything good would come with contact like that.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That is absolutely true, people saying the opposite thinking they sound redpill or alpha or whatever word makes them feel happy are like those religious fanatics, taking an ideology from its ass and forgetting about the core : in theredpill's case = being a man. The man of the story is a greedy asshole. Past mistake or not, a man takes responsibility for his actions, past or present, especially if it involves his biological child.

[–]Wilhelm_Stark 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Yeah, that's the bottom line. It's really not about the money. If it were, it would be a different situation.

No. This man is literally running away from a little girl, who is probably his daughter, who probably just wants to have some sort of relationship with her biological father. It's another thing if he was never a father before, and never had that planned in his life, but no. He already has a son. He understands what a child is.

And he immediately blocks everything about her as soon as she makes contact. He essentially makes her out to be an enemy as well. This man is a giant fucking pussy. This has nothing to do with Red Pill stuff either. This dude fucked up and didn't take care of his shit.

[–]grachuss 11 points12 points  (4 children)

So the woman refuses abortion, then the guy should have to pay for her refusal. No thanks.

I wish we had a way to notarize a document that says "I hereby ask this woman to get an abortion" that would absolve men of "Their responsibilities". I think the birth rate would drop by %30.

How dare I insist children are raised by two parent households with parents that love them.

[–]nofaprecommender 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Shit, bro, why not just write down "I hereby absolve myself of all responsibilities," notarize that, and then not have a goddamn thing to worry about at all?

[–]grachuss 5 points6 points  (2 children)

If he was willing to pay for an abortion he WAS being responsible. It was the woman who chose to keep the bastard not him.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So glad I don't have a Facebook.

[–]reisli 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Women have an out if they don't want their mistakes. They just give it up for adoption.

Men apparently are a wallet for their mistakes.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And there is an endless supply of people looking to adopt any baby that isn't obviously broken.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell, women can freely drop the kid off in designated "drop zones" like a bag of empty beer cans if they don't want to deal with the adoption paperwork.

[–]Talon1212 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Eh the whole situation sucks to be honest. Looks like theres no winner here.

[–]terranovatn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think what really gets me is the abortion thing. If he wants the abortion, and she doesn't, he shouldn't be responsible. If she's taking it upon herself to keep the child and he doesn't want to be a father then why the hell is he responsible. Of course we all know the answer to this, the feminists, the women saying he's horrible for knocking her up and "gasp" having the nerve to ask for an abortion! This man did a very good job of protecting himself and hopefully his situation doesn't turn ugly.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It'd be great if the guy's present wife (with whom he has a legit family) could come over and read that thread.

Hell hath no fury like a woman who thinks provisions are about to be taken away from her children, to be shared with other women's. Oh how she would rip, no doubt, into these self righteous "pay upppers" from r/Relationshits, as if a shark had been unleashed on some bleating, pathetically floating lambs. It would be a spectacle to behold!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love the abortion comparison. a man or society wants to force a women to keep a baby and it is horrible. A woman or society wants to force a man to pay for the baby and its ethical

[–]Chinkibus 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Everyone is attacking this guy for not giving money to a stranger. You don't give money to every stranger that calls you a dick on the internet

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

It's absolutely unreal. They're attacking a guy who:

  1. May not be the father at all
  2. Asked for an abortion (but I guess it's only ok when that's what the woman wants).
  3. Subsequently made it absolutely clear before the child was born that he would have no part in it's life (lol deadbeat!)
  4. Was told it would be put up for adoption
  5. Was not informed otherwise or received any sort of contact from the mother for 15 years

And now because he has built his own life elsewhere and the mother has reneged on several promises (lying about the adoption, obviously letting the father's information slip to the daughter which she couldn't wait to do until she was 18 and more mature, presumably because she was dumped by whoever she was with), he's obligated to do something? The people telling him that his toddler will be fucked up because he's a douchebag are really something else. Even if she is his own daughter he has zero obligation to either of them, especially if it endangers the family he actually built.

[–]Chinkibus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree but all i had to say was fuck em. Kindling a relationship and him deciding to help is one thing. no matter how entitled women are, if you verbally assault a man demanding his money you're getting a no. I would say this but I've been banned from relationship for uttering the auto ban phrase "you should check out the red pill"

[–]Sheeni_curse 35 points36 points  (26 children)

You guys are missing the point. Everyone is raging because he's an absent father (not a deadbeat, the mother obviously didn't want any financial support or contact, good for her) that is looking for sympathy that his abandoned child is pissed at him.

As the son of an absent-ish father, the only part that pissed me off is that he's scared about his money but played it off as if he felt attacked by a 15 year old. All men's rights issues aside, the mom did right by the father for not going after his money, the daughter is rightfully pissed, and the dad is a greedy flake.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The way child support is, call me a greedy flake.

[–]nages21 23 points24 points  (20 children)

He might not be a greedy flake, just a guy with a family who doesn't want something from his past to disturb his white-picket-fence life. Though he's an absent father, the mother did not try to involve him in the daughter's life; it's really not his problem.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 16 points17 points  (15 children)

No. You need to understand that it is always the child who is entitled to support. Regardless of wether the child stays with the mother or the father, the parent is only managing the child's assets as long as the child isn't of age.

This dude fucked up all on his own when he knocked up the woman. It doesn't matter, what actions the mother took. What did he do to maintain contact? And I don't mean just calling or stuff. The child is also entitled to contact to both parents, as well as a father is entitled to contact to his kids, and you can go to court over it to claim your rights.

Guys like these are the reason why we have to deal with shit like having to go to jail if you fail to pay child support.

The girl did not ask to be put into this world and it is his fucking responsibility to pay if he can pay.

This asshole just feels disturbed in the world he has built himself and is also a greedy fuck for trying to get his assets out of the way.

I have no sympathy for such decals of a man. In fact: Fuck him. I hope he gets himself a new asshole ripped.

[–]merodiaj 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Exactly.

What people here miss is: because this guy isn't paying for his own actions, we, the taxpayers, will be subsidizing this girl.

And I'm not just talking welfare. As a society we give all kind of other benefits to low income families: low income housing, lower income taxes, scholarships, etc. And there are the opportunity costs: the money he spends on a Mercedes could have been invested in this child's education, which would benefit society as a whole down the line.

I don't know about the U.S., but in Europe and Australia people actually commit welfare fraud by pretending the father is unknown. I'm sure it happens in the U.S. too.

Bottom line: I support mandatory paternity testing and parents being held financially responsible for the children they create.

[–]1independentmale 6 points7 points  (4 children)

because this guy isn't paying for his own actions

What about the mother? She chose to have the child and lied about giving it up for adoption. She is every bit as responsible for this mess, if not more so. Why the hell is she having and raising children she can't afford? Where's your outrage for her actions?

the money he spends on a Mercedes could have been invested in this child's education

Education is "free" in this country, unless you're suggesting he has an obligation to fund a college education for an adult child, in which case I'm going to politely suggest that you've lost your fucking mind.

To have parents willing to pay for your college is a very nice thing, but college students are adults and that education directly benefits their future prospects. Parents are under no obligation to finance this education and very few do. To suggest this man is a bad person because he used the money he earned through hard work and sacrifice to buy himself a nice car instead of financing the post secondary education of a girl who hates every fiber of his being... That's nuts, man. I don't give a damn if she is his daughter. The girl can get herself a job and put herself through college just like I and countless other adults did.

[–]merodiaj 3 points4 points  (3 children)

So if she gets a scholarship and an actually poor Johnny doesn't get one, you think that's fair?

Here in the west, both parents are equally responsible for children. I never said the mother wasn't.

Want to see a society where only mothers are accountable? Go to Africa.

I very much prefer what we have, thank you very much.

[–]1independentmale 3 points4 points  (2 children)

So if she gets a scholarship and an actually poor Johnny doesn't get one, you think that's fair?

No, it's not fair, but life isn't fair. There are many children who will never attend college due to unfortunate circumstances in their lives. Some of us are more privileged than others. That's life, man. I don't think forcing bio-dads to foot the college tuition bill is okay. What's next, he has to buy her a car, too?

(when I saw your comment, the score was 0. I felt you expressed your position politely, so even though we disagree, I bumped you back up.)

[–]-rubashov 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What did he do to maintain contact?

So for every one night stand you have, you make sure you stay in touch with them, check in every so often for 9 months to see if they are pregnant.

I see.. congrats for you but I personally have better things to do.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For every ONS I make sure that I wear a condom and sure as fuck I would never blast my load into strange unknown :pussy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Do you think a woman has the right to give up her child for adoption? If a woman gives up her child for adoption, do you think that she has a responsibility to the child, financially, emotionally, or otherwise?

[–]1independentmale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a great point. Giving a child up for adoption is perfectly legal, even celebrated, and the mother has zero rights or responsibilities to the child after this is done.

Why can't a man decide to give his child up for adoption to its mother, thereby relinquishing his rights and responsibilities? That's effectively what happened here. Guy said "I don't want it", girl kept it anyway, now 15 years later the kid he's never met is pissed and everyone is up in arms, calling him a worthless deadbeat. Yet if the mother had chosen adoption, these same people would be singing praises from the rooftops about what a strong, empowered woman she is.

Double standard much?

[–]nages21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think you're right from a moral standpoint, but that doesn't change the facts of what actually happened. The mother chose not to get an abortion to his dismay, she did not label him as the father, she did not contact him and he's currently not legally obligated to pay child support. He didn't even know the kid existed a few months ago and he still doesn't know whether it's his. The mother chose to bear that burden, so once again: it not his problem.

[–]fittitthroway 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Holy fuck are you serious? The mother did NOT contact him for years, did NOT pursue support, did NOT keep him in the loop, did NOT FUCKING CLAIM HE WAS THE DAD. It is in HER it is HER actions. You do not get to go SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER 15 years later trying to get some sweet $$$ after doing that.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How is any of that the child's fault?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the dad is a greedy flake.

"A fool and his money are soon parted."

[–]Sdom1 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Wow, and we talk about women being solipsistic! Your thread title is misleading. The girl never asked him for money. In fact, she never asked him for anything. She's angry because he threw her away, and now she sees photos on the internet of him being a father to a new kid. The remark about the toddler getting a Mercedes and her getting nothing wasn't an attempt to get money out of him. It was about her being completely unwanted.

Just put yourself in her position. Fuck yeah, you'd be angry! You'd want to beat his worthless ass down. I know I would. What, you think she hasn't been told her father's words to her mother on finding out she was pregnant were "have an abortion, I'll pay for it"? That her father wanted nothing to do with her? All completely true, by his own admission.

And now, his reaction to all this was to delete all her comments and lock down his account? She's right, he's flat out cowardly. He didn't respond, he just ran away. And what's more telling is that his only thought was for himself. Am I going to deal with drama? Am I going to have to pay? At no point did he go, "Oh God, this could actually be my kid! How must this make her feel?"

Do you realize what not having a father does to a kid? That's the basis of the whole Father's Rights movement.

Listen, I know everyone talks about Chad Thundercock here and cuckolding and hypergamy and all that. The problem with a lot of that is that, not only do they give women way too much credit as evaluators of men, but this sets up the dynamic that a bum is a good thing to be. And the logical conclusion is that any man who is a good father and is there for his kid is just a weak little sucker who is dumb enough to let a woman tie him down.

This is all bullshit.

You can be an alpha male without being a bum. Even in the wild, an alpha male protects and/or provides for his offspring. Without fathers, society breaks down.

[–]athrowawaytothrowawa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree with you. TRP is not realizing the importance of obligation. As men in this society, we have an obligation to take care of our offspring.

[–]jeffwingersballs 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I'm not posting this to hold it against him or bring the lynch mob here into r/TheRedPill. Those posters suck. I don't want to be associated with them. I get why he made his decision. It's risk adverse and with him having a son, I understand trying to avoid a potentially toxic person entering their life.

With that disclaimer put forth, I think he made the wrong decision. If I were him, I would have looked into the situation a little more because, as long as he can protect his family and assets, I think he had a chance to have positive impact on someone else's life. Particularly his own daughter.

[–]BlueFreedom420 5 points6 points  (1 child)

He is right in ignoring her. She didn't even bother to pretend to want to know him, she just went straight for the money.

He just needs to hold out for 3 years and live his life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can they not come after him for back child support even after the child is 18?

[–]let_terror_reign 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What's everyone pissed about?
That the woman would be let off the hook? Yeah, we know that. I don't think he's some good guy either. I mean, that's like saying hey I'll put a baby in you, just deal with it, chill.
I'm not condoning the answers on the relationshit sub, but yeah, he chose to have unprotected sex, right?
One of the commenters is right on this point: Life is expensive, kid didn't ask to be born.
Yeah, he is a deadbeat.
Only thing that seems fishy is the "never came to me until money ran out" part. And even then, I don't really blame the girl. Some people don't want to ask for help until they have to.
This is damn shady even on his end. We shouldn't be supporting the man JUST because he's a man, that's retarded.

[–]SexistFlyingPig 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like your reference to adoption.

Oh, I'm your father am I? Well, come on over, and I'll take you down to the adoption agency to get you a new dad.

[–]razorwan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could understand the plight if it happened early on-- but this far down the road, it's not even your daughter in any way other than genetics.

[–]Burner1701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take a moment to remind yourself, and your sons, not to have unprotected sex with strange girls. It sounds like with his lifestyle back then that this was inevitable and the mother has actually been unusually responsible in raising the child by herself without chasing him for child support. You also can't blame the daughter for being butthurt with him posting pictures of his new adored kid in a great car. Yes the mother could have had an abortion but he could also have not had unprotected sex. If his mistakes can be written off as "young and dumb" then so can hers.
I don't think blocking the daughter is a grown up response.

[–]NakedAndBehindYou 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A 15 year old girl wouldn't be harassing the father she's never met just out of the blue. She's only doing it because her mother has been spewing venom in her ear about what a terrible person her dad is for not giving her the free beta bucks that she wants.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well why wouldn't women want this? It's a lovely little ka-ching for them if they find out their Mom cucked their dad and it's a load off for when their daughter figures out that daddy was cucked. A woman get the finances of two fathers, her daughter gets the financing of two fathers, and everyone wins! Well, at least everyone that feminists consider to be human.

[–]RedSugarPill 9 points10 points  (0 children)

the kid didn't ask to be born.

Boo hoo hoo... every kid says that to his/her parents when they are teens. Welcome to life kid. It gets worse (but for you, it'll get better for oh, about 10-15 years, then it will suck again. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

[–]Uolj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Steve Jobs did something like to this.

[–]occupythekitchen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

jesus Christ they are tearing flesh from bone. It's not like the mother didn't include him....hamsters will hamster. Her mother only told her daughter about her real father because and I'll bet money on this she wanted a car so she told her to go ask "her rich dad". Seriously the mother robbed the father of his fatherhood and now he owes that child or that mother something?

Fuck off, he owes them nothing and a stranger is a stranger even if it's blood related

[–]666Evo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the accurate test is to switch the genders and see how it reads.

"Abandoned son, demands money from birth mother."

Some people may support the kid but those people will be in a stark minority.

[–]aussiezman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He specifically told the woman that he didn't want the kid. She made the decision to have the child knowing that. Then he is called irresponsible for getting her pregnant and an arsehole for not wanting anything to do with the kid now that it has been born.

I despise the use of argument "It's my body, It's my choice", and then demanding the father to accept responsibility for the child's life, what about his choice? If a man wants to keep the child and a woman wants an abortion then she gets to have an abortion and there isn't anything he gets to do to stop her. The double standard is ridiculous.

100% I agree that it is the woman's choice whether or not she wants to have the kid, however if the father says he doesn't want the kid whilst the fetus can be aborted and the woman chooses to continue with the pregnancy; then he should be acquitted of any obligations.

This guy did exactly that! The the females comment with "the child didn't ask to be born", "the child has a right to a father", "life is expensive, you should give material support as a minimum".....

FUCK THAT!! Life isn't fare, we are not entitled to anything, you get the hand you're dealt and tough shit. I grew up without a father because he passed when I was young, I didn't grow up feeling sorry for myself or with the illusion that if he was alive my life would be better.

[–]zenkibudo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A couple posters have dogged you for misrepresenting the situation -- saying the kid never asked for money, etc.

I think yours was a fair assertion, and this comment allegedly made by the kid (taken from that dude's archived post) surely implies it like all fucking get out:

The comment that was posted was, "Niiiice. A toddler gets a Mercedes and your first born dont get anything"

Immanent financial request/demand is a foregone prognosis, imo. Some scholarly may argue that her alleged comment in itself constitutes a (belligerent) request, and I'd be inclined to somewhat agree. Other indicators are probly there in the archives too, for the willing and perceptive.

Only caveat: that dude's whole post may be a scam, just to rile a few emotionally inclined souls. If that's so, he succeeded enormously. I'm on the fencepost with it...

[–]Dark_Shroud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly hope this guy is trolling just to screw with these people. Just watching these people freakout at the idea that he doesn't feel anything let alone responsibility for the child he never knew existed.

But again this is the reality because men do not get a choice in abortions.

Let's see if Planned Parenthood offers Vasalgel.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck that little shit.

Her mother is a bitter bitch who's been dripping poison into that kids head for 15 years.

I wouldn't want a relationship with her either. She so rancid and jaded it would never be a healthy relationship or a safe one.

It's sad she didn't know her father, but that wasn't his fault.

And I agree totally that women get a pass when they fail to be accountable for their actions.

The high standards women set for men and the very low standards they keep for themselves tells us all quite clearly that women think men are better than women and women are not equal to men in any way that matters.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Simple advice wrap it up and flush it afterwards.

[–]Eurasianpersuasion01 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I loved reading the post. This is one of the most cold and calculating stories I have seen on reddit. This man is pragmatic to the core, which I absolutely respect.

We can debate for days on the morality of his choices. Whether he made the "right" decision to give up on his previous daughter in favor of protecting his current family. This would come at the cost of the daughters emotional well-being.

Personally, I would have taken a similar course of action but would be open to providing some form of support to the daughter in the future if I was in fact the biological father.

Overall, I think he made the most pragmatic decision available to him. It's unfortunate for the daughter but that's life, it's not fair. I find it amusing how strongly reddit reacted to this, they are so caught up in doing what's "right" they can't see that there is no good and evil, only power.

[–]fittitthroway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment is really underrated

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Life is expensive and the kid didn't ask to be born.

I'm pretty sure the father didn't have a say either.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Originally, the moral goodness of the obligation to one's progeny was based on one simple thing. Men who said "that's my blood, and whatever else, she will not suffer the indignity of being left to fend for herself on the street while I live, let her in the house".

This sentiment was seen as praiseworthy, and men derived great pride from it in their community. In other words, it was all about the magnanimous generosity of men, and the displays they made of it in front of one another.

In our degenerate times, it's all been flipped around on its head. The morality of the entitled hens has fast become dictatorial, and they do not see the man's generosity in play, nor appeal to it - they see only his obligation, which they the hens, will determine. Now it's all "he should this", "he must that", "the kid is innocent, didn't ask to be born you asshole, pay up". Bitch, how about no?

[–]1raceAround126 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a sci fi author called Lois McMaster. She said this at some point which is strikingly relevant for all of life. I usually think on it when it comes to me and my music. But it's thoroughly relevant here.

Never... ever suggest they don't have to pay you. What they pay for, they'll value. What they get for free, they'll take for granted, and then demand as a right. Hold them up for all the market will bear.

I read that as never ever suggest women do not have to respect you for your generosity, protection, whatever else. What they get for free they will take for granted and demand as a right. It kind of resonates with what you were saying regarding men being praiseworthy from looking after their own and in today's society, it's now somehow a right.

It's the same as music. People stealing music has decimated the music industry and the effects are most prominent from the bottom up. Once an artist rises from the ether of nothingness and gets to a certain level, usually they will find that they cannot afford to exist. Yet suggest for one minute that people are acting immorally or in any way negatively for engaging in piracy, the backlash is similar to what a rapist may expect.

[–]lizzardbwain 1 point2 points  (2 children)

So, long story short. They ran out of money ? Option one: BBucks dumped her and her mom Option two: Girl got pregnant (woops)

I'm sorry if I was rude, but I think you are a horrible human being and someone should tell you that. Goodbye looser

The level of ... mental incoherency.

Wants access to bank account = broke What does she need access for, to put money in ? LOL

[–]Moldy_Gecko 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I dunno.

Imagine if it were a woman. A woman is always allowed to regret her decisions. Even if she didn't bother using protection. Even if she's had five abortions, she should still be allowed to have another one for being careless. If a woman doesn't want her baby, she can throw it up for adoption, even anonymously, so it will never ever haunt her again! Can you imagine any one of them for a second daring to criticise a woman who makes such a decision? Of course not. A woman should never be held responsible.

The woman that chose to keep his/her mistake has been financially supporting their daughter for 15 years. I'm not saying he should have to backpay child support or anything, but it's clearly not only one-sided. She told him she was pregnant, he ran away and now wants to act like "it never happened".

As a father of 2 girls and a man that had the same situation until I was 8 (Father booked when Mom got pregnant (and many many other reasons)), I don't see why you wouldn't want to see your daughter now that you are financially stable and in a position to have a relationship with her. My dad couldn't even wait that long. He found my mom, agreed to paid child support as long as he got custody over the summer.

And thi guy is kind of a tool. He thought that his daughter "Threatened" him and his son by saying she'll be better than them. What a pussy! I say I'm better or will be better than people all the time, that doesn't mean I'm going to harm them.

ALL THAT being said, he did the right thing finding a lawyer and cutting communication until it's all sorted out. But his mindset for doing that is fucked. He should want to make sure his feet are planted on the ground and both sides know what to expect going ahead. Not, "It's in the past, I want nothing to do with it". Just my 2 pennies.

[–]fittitthroway 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Is he really a pussy knowing what child support laws are like?

[–]TRPtruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the sentiment, but if bonehead was too stupid to put a rubber on, my tax dollars shouldn't have to go to his kids college tuition. She will get every grant, tax break, and benefit funded by my tax dollars if he does not pay up. Someone's going to pay for his bastard child. Better him than me. It's not my problem and wasn't my cream pie.

[–]1jimjackjoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The point is this: society is all about abortions and adoptions and shit like that because it empowers women. A man has no say in those decisions, yet is expected to pay up for the woman's decision. Men are held more accountable than women.

And indeed, men should be held more accountable than women. But there's a reason behind why we should be held more accountable. The reason is that we are more accountable. This society doesn't recognize that man is accountable, while simultaneously holding him accountable for everything.

OP's point is more that society/the-comment-section demands payment from this man. Yes, he phrased it as the daughter demanding payment, but we all make mistakes. Writing is hard, have you not noticed?

Knowing that writing is hard, you adjust for other people's mistakes in your head so you can still get the main point.

And to those who are deriding the man's morals: I agree with you conceptually. But what I conceptually believe and how I actually act are two entirely different things. This guy had to actually act; he couldn't just form a conceptual opinion on whether it's right or wrong to keep your illegitimate child out of your life--he had to live it out. It's different than having an opinion.

[–]Trail_of_Jeers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A whole lot of morality shaming in this thread.

Look, he earned that money, he earned his life. Squirting a load inbsome woman's vagoo does not obligate you to raise the twat spawn. She wants to keep it, great. It's her responsibility. Her body, her choice.

He doesn't want to be connected to that. His wallet, his choice.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What a bunch of flowery bullshit. Protecting yourself from skanks and their progeny is what men do, not give their money out willy-nilly to any stranger with a sob story.

[–]Cloughtower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's different to be poor? You'd better believe I'd get a paternity test.

[–]CptDefB 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The double standard is clearly there... but...

... this guy is making a mountain out of peas. A 15 year old who is apparently across the country says she's going to be a better person than you and your son.... where is the intent to convey any actual harm? She damned him? Oh no.

I don't get how this is a big deal, outside of the double standard itself, which is comical in the snarky ways it manifests itself on reddit. People say these things not even knowing what they don't know, with such pride too.

It's sad, seeing these people be useful idiots for the destruction of society... even if schadenfreude is kinda nice. Not sure I'm down with my experience happening at the end... but, these are the cards, so...

[–]happeningpodcast 0 points1 point  (10 children)

This guy is a goddamm sociopath and all you degenerate faggots supporting him deserve to be hanged. That girl did nothing to deserve to be treated like that. She needs a father in her life.

[–]Sdom1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's definitely a functional sociopath. Seemingly fine on the surface, but no empathy whatsoever.

[–]H42 2 points2 points [recovered]

If she needed a father in her life, why did her mother refuse to provide one for her? Mom could have done a myriad of things 14 or 15 years ago to assure the guy would be involved in the girl's life. Mom did not. So it ain't his fault, it is the girl's mother's fault that she has no father in her life.

[–]amnotagain 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Im with you guys on most, but this kid is an embarrassment to manhood. What a streaming bloody douche. We can bob and weave with the best of em, but, as men, when we have responsibilities, we take care of em. This guy is cowering in a corner from his 15 year daughter! Thats not a RP or BP scenario. That's just not a man.

[–]tksmase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His responsibility is his son and his healthy family, not a random hoe from his teen years (come on all of us had sex with bitches we don't even remember today) and their mistake.

The guy doesn't want to get into this shit and he's right about it. Notice how in almost all cases it's about the money and brings nothing but shame and dismay to the family of someone who "went out for cigarettes"

If that's the best decision he can come to without making his rightful family be involved he should go ahead and drop a shit on everyone who goes all-emo blabbering about what is right, protecting the double standards.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So like, even if we don't want your emotional support or an actual fatherly relationship, we still want your bucks? Notice how they offer no leniency towards a man, a man has no right to regret his past decisions. He must forever be held accountable!

He's actually being a good father here by not indulging her and not teaching her that this entitled attitude is OK.

Imagine if it were a woman. A woman is always allowed to regret her decisions. Even if she didn't bother using protection. Even if she's had five abortions, she should still be allowed to have another one for being careless. If a woman doesn't want her baby, she can throw it up for adoption, even anonymously, so it will never ever haunt her again! Can you imagine any one of them for a second daring to criticise a woman who makes such a decision? Of course not. A woman should never be held responsible.

The FACT is, she gets to make the decision to have that child or not. The FACT is, she can kill that baby even if he wants it. Yet she can also make him pay for HER decision.

[–]MajinMew2 3 points3 points [recovered]

I've been lurking on the red pill for a while now and this is one of the viewpoints that I can't seem to agree with. Wouldn't a real man own up to his past and have looked after his daughter from the start? To me this argument seems to be "a woman wouldn't be held accountable so neither should he". Surely both women and men should be held accountable in situations like this, (regardless of how young they were when they fucked up).

[–]Trail_of_Jeers 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Surely both women and men should be held accountable in situations like this, (regardless of how young they were when they fucked up).

Why should they?

Remember, don't argue from morality. Should, Right, Wrong are all invalid replies.

[–]TheRedThrowAwayPill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he can't manage emotional support, he should stay away, not jerk her around, and do the bare minimum by giving material support

It's supposed to be THE OTHER WAY AROUND. "If he can't give material support, he should then at least give emotional support".

[–]AvoidinAnalBeads 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading the response to this guy's update gave me virtual cancer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did I is something in the post or the update to the post where the "child" was trying to get money? I do not recall reading that in either post....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if the kid wants any money she's going to have to go through the court system to do so.

[–]128bitworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As the lyrics go... "A restless eye across a weary room A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin The music played and played as we whirled without end No hint, no word her honour to defend I will, I will she sighed to my request And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire I lead the way to the funeral pyre And without a thought of the consequence I gave in to my decadence One slip, and down the hole we fall It seems to take no time at all A momentary lapse of reason That binds a life for life A small regret, you won't forget, There'll be no sleep in here tonight..."

Or ever again. For the guy anyway.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This and many other reasons is why so many men can't respect women. Notice i didn't say dont, they mentally and physical can't because most women do not deserve it. In fact most want to but it's like rewarding a child for throwing a tantrum for not getting their way. That's bad parenting, just like giving shit to women who think they are entitled to stuff makes me a bad human being and not much of a man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Anyone else catch the part wherein some woman says it's his child, and everyone automatically takes her side and shits on OP? My question is WHERE'S THE DNA TEST?

[–]Sdom1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said she bears a strong resemblence to him. Sure, get a DNA test, but it sounds like she's probably his.

[–]relationshipdownvote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guy never had anything to do with child that's biologically his

It's still your child you need to support it

Guy wants to leave after raising a child that ended up not being his

You're still the father, you need to support it

[–]BowlOfCandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm franky disgusted with this, despite it being the typical TRP success story where the man is free of any legal obligation because logic. Obviously it's a very messy situation and there quite possibly is no way to fix it. But this story, and the comments I see here, is an example of the hypocrisy of this subs TRP mentality at a high level. This teenage girl is going to have such tremendous daddy issues that she will never be able to have a healthy relationship with any man in her life. She is going to be a wrecking ball of emotion, likely to ride the CC per usual circumstances and never value her femininity in the context of pairing with a masculine counterpart. She will embody the very core issues in gender relations that produced this sub

I would like to hope that TRP values the strength of the family unit, but a majority of the members here seem to think that a child is somehow responsible for the mother's actions.

[–]fittitthroway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The comments to his posts are absolutely rage inducing. Holy fuck Im so pissed reading them. Those fucking delusional selfish cumdumsters are unbearable.

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