Blue Pill ExampleMan loses job and breaks down crying when he tells his wife. She is surprised to discover that she feels disgusted by him. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner

Summary: A woman in the relationships subreddit was recently told by her husband that he got laid off. He then broke down crying in front of her. Instead of feeling supportive and sympathetic, she felt disgusted and had no desire to comfort him.

Body: https://archive.is/Nh4dt

The relationships subreddit can often be an unintentional source of RP truths. Here's a gem I just discovered.

My husband has been acting very strange the past 4 days. He's been going in and out every morning like he usually does, but his manner had been different. He'd been seeming much less happy, almost as if he had to force himself to smile and at times overcompensate by forcing an exaggerated happiness. Other than that he was becoming quiet and withdrawn, much slower in daily things, and also very distant. His sex drive had disappeared completely and he just seemed tired always.

Yesterday he sat me down and said he had to tell me something very important. I knew something was up so I was listening very carefully. He proceeded to explain to me how he had been made redundant at work and no longer had a job there. He described how it had it him like a stack of bricks out of nowhere and he wasn't expecting it. He said he felt hurt and disappointed in himself incredibly. At this point he started crying, telling me how he feels he has no strength or motivation to carry on, how he feels weak and useless because of all of this. He seemed very weak from the way he was talking.

Notice her use of language. She mentions weakness twice in as many sentences. It's almost as if she finds weakness unattractive...

While crying he put his head on my shoulder and hugged me for support, but I just gave him a half-hug back. I'm not sure why, I know I was meant to say something, I know I was meant to be empathetic, he's my husband. But I couldn't stand the situation, I just wanted to get away. I knew I should be supportive but it didnt' come naturally to me. I just felt so disgusted and put off by the whole thing, especially the way he was crying. I just couldn't find it in me to be supportive at all.

I have no idea what to do. Is it normal for a wife to feel this way? Is it normal that I feel no urge to comfort and show empathy to my husband during this difficult time for him, but instead I just feel grossed out, by myself and by him? I feel bad for even feeling this way.

He completely broke frame and started crying like a little beta bitch. Nothing kills a woman's attraction towards a man like pity. And if the relationship was based on him being able to provide for her, she no longer sees any benefit to being with him.

A little later on OP replied with this comment:

Usually I am empathetic and compassionate when others are distressed. I think this is the first time the other has been my husband and I've been the one to have to comfort him. I've never seen him cry before, ever.

A woman wants her man to be her rock. A source of strength and stability in hard times. Seeing him completely broken and defeated shattered the illusion of strength that her husband had so far managed to cultivate. Looking for sympathy when life is hard is something women do. Men look for solutions.

The hamster wheel has begun to spin. It won't be long before she either leaves him or finds a Chad to cheat with.

Lessions Learned:

  • Maintain frame. Project strength and confidence even during times of turmoil.
  • Never cry like a little bitch in front of a woman you're sleeping with. If you absolutely must pour your heart out to somebody, pick a trusted male friend or relative who knows how to keep his mouth shut.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 238 points239 points  (65 children)

It's natural for people to think, "This is his wife. He's been her husband, stood by her, done for her, sacrificed for her, supported her for years. It's the first time he's ever had a hardship this bad, and the first time she's ever seen him cry. Can't she cut him a little slack and be there for him, after all he's done for her?"

But she can't. Because all that shit he's done for her, he already did. She already has it. She already benefited from it. She spent the money, ate the food, flushed the toilet. That's old news. You can't buy your woman's respect with food she already ate, shit, and flushed.

Today's news is that her man revealed to her that he doesn't have his shit together, her future is uncertain, now she's sad and worried, and it's her husband's fault that she feels that way. And when she divorces him, he's going to think it's because she's worried about money and his job status. But really, it will be because he makes her feel sad and worried. Because he's a weak man who can't handle adversity, doesn't have his shit together, and looked to her for validation and leadership in hard times.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 181 points182 points  (24 children)

Basically, as a man, you never get a break. Ever. Hypergamy is ruthless in its cruel efficiency.

Crying/sharing your pain is for women and children. Or to be kept among trustworthy male friends over whiskey.

[–]scrantonic1ty 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Or to be kept among trustworthy male friends over whiskey.

I'm lucky enough to have a father I can open up to in the knowledge that I will be heard and understood at the very least. Not everyone has that luxury, and obviously it wont last forever.

[–]themasterof 15 points15 points [recovered]

Basically, as a man, you never get a break.

We never get a break from breathing either. We are men, being a man is not something we need a break from, just like we don't need a break from breathing. That is at least the attitude we should have towards our manhood.

[–]1sardinemanR 47 points48 points  (5 children)

That's easy to say at 25. Wait until you're in your 40s and 50s and repeat that.

Man is not a machine. You might want to deny it, but you cut a man and he bleeds. Abuse has and isolation have long term effects, mental and physiological.

This type of society the feminists and white knights built, it can not last and will not last.

Rome didn't fall because men "lost frame", it fell because men said "Fuck it, I'm getting nothing out of this, let it fall."

[–]TheImprovingMan 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Men were ALWAYS the providers, we were ALWAYS the ones with the expectation of protecting those around us and doing the real work to sustain things. As easy as it is to blame "Feminists" and "society", it's the natural lot of being a man. Whining like a bitch about it won't help. Being a man comes with certain expectations, and we don't get to have it both ways and act like we get to shrug them off.

[–]1sardinemanR 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And that role came with certain returns: namely women are to obey men, and if there is a divorce the children go to the man and the woman gets nothing.

This is how society functioned. You don't take away the rewards and leave only the burdens.

Simply put, 100 years ago a woman wouldn't dare even think of talking shit to a man. A woman wouldn't dare think she is "equal" in the workplace or anywhere else. Her place was at home, man's place was outside the home.

Don't try to AMOG me on the internet btw you little bitch. It doesn't make you sound tough, it makes you look like a fucking nerd.

[–]the99percent1 5 points5 points [recovered]

My old pap died of cancer. One morning, he broke down crying knowing full well his life was over. My mum comes to him and tells him off about it.

If there was a moment a man is allowed to cry, it would be the thought your life is over. Nope... You don't even get to have that.

As my dad used to say, you're only allowed to cry when someone you loved dearly passes away. Only time you are given a free pass.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience the only time it's acceptable for a man to cry is when his child dies and only because the mother is so distort she is not likely to notice the loss of his frame. If it's her step kid don't expect an ounce of sympathy.

[–][deleted] 23 points23 points

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[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (8 children)

I think that's why IllimitableMan specified "trustworthy" male friends. I do believe that you can reach a place of trust and respect with other men that they will legitimately care about your hardships within reason. With women, not a chance, ever. With men you just met and are passing through your life of course not.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 79 points80 points  (6 children)

Right. Your inner circle should give fucks. If there's someone in your inner circle who doesn't give fucks, you need to kick 'em out. The inner circle is an exclusive club, giving fucks is a requisite for being a member.

[–]redzorp 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Well said.

An inner circle can be fairly small but still be effective. I only have two in my innermost circle - my brother and another male friend. That's it. But I know if I am ever down in the dumps, I can pour my heart out to these two and get actionable advice and support.

Of course even with your inner circle, you don't want to be bitching and moaning on a monthly basis or anything. Pouring your heart out is a 'break glass in case of emergency' maneuver. Maybe once or twice a lifetime for significant life pivot points. Other than that, I still get advice/support from these two but I always frame it through strength. For e.g. "I just lost my job but here are two business ideas I am thinking of starting. What do you guys think?"

[–][deleted] 18 points18 points

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[–]tio1w 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have been used and abused by every single person I have ever befriended, except my mom, two of my grandparents and my brother.

That's actually a very good record. Quite impressive if it's actually true.

[–]RedKnight1990 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There needs to be a standard for who you confide in. I notice a trend with the younger guy who just need someone, anyone to vent to. You have to be choosy because there are a lot of fartknockers out there.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh I personally never let anyone see my weakness. Asking for help is one thing but actual weakness should never be demonstrated IMO. Weakness is leverage and in games of power such as life, giving up said leverage can prove fatal.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 19 points20 points  (0 children)

At the risk of sounding smarmy: this should be the top post in the thread.

You can't buy your woman's respect with food she already ate, shit, and flushed.

And this is a great quote to remember.

[–]yaardi 17 points18 points  (3 children)

[–]Rooi_Aap 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Eddie Murphy Raw should be in the sidebar. Alongside Patrice O'Neal and Bill Burr.

[–]Chaohinon 70 points71 points  (6 children)

This is essentially what drove me here.

I had been working two jobs for almost 5 years straight to keep me and my GF on our feet while she was busy getting her degree. Had also been supporting her emotionally, comforting her through bouts of turmoil while she dealt with the stress of college, moving cities, lack of $$$, etc. Towards the end of it, I had a bit of a meltdown from all the suppressed stress (didn't lose my job, mind you), and turned to her for comfort....she left. Rendered me homeless after all that and didn't care.

Life is cruel. Never again.

[–]StuffaYouFace 26 points27 points  (2 children)

It is truly a rude awakening when the one person you thought would have your back the most when things are at their lowest, walks away. Even kicks you on the way out. You sacrificed yourself for her for years but the second you ask even a bit from her, she disregards all those sacrifices.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear about that. Nobody should have to deal with that. Consider it a lesson learned though.

[–]xkcd_puppy 100 points101 points  (15 children)

Hold your frame no matter what. Cry in front your buddies and your dog, not your woman.

The Commander of a ship holds his frame and does his duty even though he knows that the torpedo has hit a critical place and lives will be lost.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 88 points89 points  (7 children)

Nothing causes panic in a military unit more than seeing their leader display fear and doubt. So it is in family units as well.

[–]PedroIsWatching 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Same with a boss to the workers. You instantly lose respect for a boss that gets stressed and can't keep it cool.

[–]KartagoPill 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Military unit leaders can't be friends with subordinates.

[–]Lord_NShYH 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You can't be friends with your wife, it doesn't work. You either lead, or you follow, and if you're following, be prepared for Chad to do your job for you.

[–]1FrogTrainer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Commanders's aren't supposed to be friends with peons. But he can certainly be "friends" with his First Officer. And the analogy most often used here is Captain & First Officer. This is why on military bases the bars are separated into Officers club, Staff NCO club, NCO club, and Enlisted-Club. A captain certainly won't get into trouble for having a beer with his 1st Officer, but would certainly be in trouble for having a beer with a private.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right but I think it is normal for the captain to vent his doubts and frustration to the first mate, which is what the wife is supposed to be right?

Should you bawl like a baby in front of your wife? No. But if you can't show a little weakness and get support from her in a time of need then you picked the wrong wife.

[–]Manmore 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I think the captain analogy is the most useful one I've ever come across.

[–]JackGoldsteinWrites 95 points96 points  (30 children)

It's not impossible for a woman to consciously realize what her instincts are doing, and then consciously choose to remain loyal and steadfast because her word should mean something. We do this type of thing all the time when we stick to an LTR of 15+ years even though we could easily "trade up" for young pussy.

It's just that this type of self-awareness in women is rarer than an honest lawyer.

[–]2rp_valiant 27 points28 points  (26 children)

loyalty comes more naturally to men than women though - women have the capacity to be loyal but it's certainly not the standard. From experience, women can definitely be as loyal as men though.

[–]relationshipdownvote 176 points177 points  (35 children)

I think it's strange that even people in this thread think there's something wrong with her, I mean I understand the idiots in relationships being stupid, but TRP, come on guys. Fucking AWALT. You would understand if the husband felt unattractive to the wife because she became a fat pig, this is the same thing. This is how women work. There's nothing wrong with this woman, pretty much all women in the same situation would feel this way, whether or not they would be honest about it like this woman is up for debate, but they will all feel this way. The guy fucked up by showing weakness. The lesson to learn here is to not show weakness. Be a man, suck it up, and deal with it.

[–]1Dark-Ulfberht 99 points100 points  (16 children)

I was just about to say this.

If dudes here want to understand, they need to imagine a wife or girlfriend coming home one day literally a hundred pounds heavier than when she left that same morning. She then explains to you that this weight has "hit her like a ton of bricks" and that she wants comfort.

Picture that for a moment. Biologically, this is what is happening to the wife.

Those of you who are angry with her for that haven't fully accepted the pill yet.

[–]Frdl 28 points29 points  (4 children)

I agree completely but I don't think it's analogous. People become redundant at work; sometimes from no fault of their own. Becoming a land whale is a conscious decision aside from 'my genetics'. I appreciate the honesty of this woman, and this is something you wouldn't really see without the anonymity of the internet. This is how they are programmed. It's not her fault she's disgusted by someone who can no longer provide. Imagine we were still hunter gatherers and a man could no longer bring home mastodon steak because he's useless. You think her evolutionary programming would tell her to support and sympathize with him? Fuck no.

[–]gymgoer205 43 points44 points  (1 child)

It's not so much that he lost his job but that he cried on her shoulder like a little bitch

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yup. It's more about his frame.

If a guy doesn't bring home meat one night, big whoop, try again next night, get a new fucking job, go fishing instead of hunting or whatever.

But this dude just came to the wife like "honey I'll never be able to feed us or the kids again! What do we do?!" My reaction if I was a woman would be to run as well.

[–]1Ronin11A 10 points11 points  (1 child)

The lesson to learn here is to not show weakness.

Never let them see you bleed.

[–]KartagoPill 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Weakened hunter is dead hunter. Wife gatherer will go see next strong manly hunter.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Love dont pay the bills" fits quite nicely.

[–]Purecorrupt 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Alright please tell me if i'm full of shit. Or maybe this is bad solipsism thinking on my part.

Showing weakness and wanting empathy is worst than having weakness and hiding it.

At least in my head I can imagine her finding him sad in a corner and being more willing to give empathy than what he did which was break in front of her.

[–]darthskids 18 points19 points  (2 children)

More or less. Don't expect any sympathy or empathy from a female you're involved with period. If you have any emotional problems don't take them to her.

[–]kanji_sasahara 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with showing weakness, just be judicious as to who you show it to. Parents, siblings, and best guy friends are fine, but never at work or in a relationship.

[–]thefisherman1961 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Whenever I see women claiming how they like seeing men cry and encourage it, of course they are only talking about beta males. Betas are expected to act like betas, and that includes crying in front of them. The fact that it dries her up like the Saraha desert and almost completely kills any sexual attraction she has towards him is irrelevant, because his function is not to be sexually attractive - it's to be a provider.

Encouraging men to cry is a huge collective shit test because it makes it easier for them to tell the difference between alphas and betas. What they won't tell you is that they don't want to see alphas crying, ever.

[–]Hokuto199x 35 points36 points  (8 children)

She's perfectly normal, but I bet people on the relationship sub are singing a different tune.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Exactly. Her husband went from being strong and a good provider to being weak and unable to provide. It's completely natural for her to feel repulsed by that.

As others in this thread have pointed out, it's like marrying a smoking hot babe. Then she puts on a hundred pounds, stops wearing makeup, and only wears sweat pants and baggy t-shirts.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes but SJW's can't possibly admit this, otherwise GENDER ROLES.

[–]Zagiggity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Husband needs a dog, a few buddies, and metric shit ton of liquor for an evening.

[–]PedroIsWatching 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that she's acting perfectly normal. But in a way I do like how the commenters in that thread have recognized the hypocrisy, are having none of it, and are tearing her a new asshole. Possibly some last remnants of anger phase on my part.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (12 children)

As a man who has cried in front of females multiple times, don't fucking do it. We are men and we can't cry, not to anyone. Weakness can never be shown and there are no true women out there who want to coddle you

[–]redarkane 11 points12 points  (2 children)

This is exactly why the male suicide rate is higher than of women. We're just not seen as normal in society if we show emotion.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Exactly. These emotions are here in all of us, but as a man you're forced to become a dark mysterious figure in order to draw any sort of respect or interest. Or if you're just an ass hole that cares about nothing then I guess that's the ideal man in today's society, but I feel like girls go more for the tall/dark/mysterious than ass hole. Either way, never show emotions with integrity. That is the lesson I got from multiple girls

[–]ratthing 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Preach it, brother.

Same here. Used to think it was a good thing to show my "vulnerability". Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cry in the shower or with one of your trustworthy buddies. It's healthy to get it out sometimes.

[–]redzorp 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's human to cry, an often necessary release of tension. But yeah, never in front of women.

Just be like Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan after the medic died. Go off to a corner and cry as much as you want. Just make sure nobody else sees it.

[–]ProspectiveQuant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, suicide is far more convenient obv lol

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of the ex of a friend of mine (dissatisfied because he wasn't a high earner and didn't really conform to her idea of how she envisioned her partner to be) who had the habit of picking fights with him, looking for reasons to be pissed off, threatened to leave him and threw tantrums of a regular basis to such a degree it started to wear on his resolve (bonus points for him being unable to go to bed with unresolved quarrels, which basically meant that he always gave in against his better judgment). When he broke down and cried, her comment was "it's so pathetic when you cry".

Well, when he broke up with her because she had someone else in reach, she suddenly was all tears and desperation and reiterated how much she loved him and that she never wanted to change him. Yeah, sure. Cunt.

[–]KartagoPill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He showed her that he can go onto pedestal too. No commitment for you. Who is pathetic now?

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Your wife is not your mother, and she will actively be disgusted with you for putting her in that role.

As a man, this is why you need a male social network, or a shrink. Develop strong male peers, and you have someone to take your victim puke, so long as you're not 100% of an emotional tmapon. Or pay someone to do it.

Theres nothing wrong with her, she has a need for a strong oak, and, like when a girl gains 50 pounds, she loses attraction.

[–]blacwidonsfw 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Step 1. Get a job where you won't be redundant.

Step 2. Always be interviewing so you know Where you stand in the job market.

Step 3. Don't get married.

[–]unassumingusername7 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He didn't even need all that, although it's good advice. He just needed the magic words, "I'll take care of it", and she wouldn't have been repulsed.

[–]Bhiim 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Fucking dynamite quote from the comments there

You can't control what you feel but you can control what you do.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (9 children)

Marriage is not supposed to be about attraction. The traditional framework of marriage, hell, even pair bonding is the assumption that two is stronger than one. That as a unit you will be more productive and add value to a community. And when hard times hit you will be able to rebound much quicker than you would all on your own. In other words I am trying to say you have a stake in each other.

When did this change, when did it become fashionable to become so incredibly lazy that when things got rough the supposed strong mutual support structure of marriage was no longer an effective safety net. I can't imagine how our current society would survive another great depression or war.

Many of you are saying that this man showed weakness in going to his wife for support, I disagree. Perhaps the way he went about it was indeed weak, but the act in and of itself is not. Admitting that you have no recourse and then confiding in one's partner is supposed to be a sign of strength. What has happened is a paradigm shift in the definition of weakness and vulnerability. Rather, what the OP has shared with us is an illustration of the complete breakdown in the system of marriage. There is very little consequence to the breaking of this social contract, especially for women.

[–]Limekill 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And when hard times hit you will be able to rebound much quicker than you would all on your own. In other words I am trying to say you have a stake in each other.

This. The idea is in the moment of weakness you would hold each other up (or help each other (whatever you want to call it)), but now its ALL about the tingles. Fuck marriage.

[–]StuffaYouFace 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are right on the money. I sub to the divorce subreddit and it is filled with people divorcing over the first thing to go wrong in the marriage. Good/bad, sickness/health for as long as you both shall live are just words that mean fuck all anymore. It's just something you repeat after the person marrying you.

[–]1independentmale 10 points11 points  (4 children)

100% this.

My view isn't going to be popular here, but fuck it: We have emotions, too. I am not a robot, I have feelings and I have cried when times got tough. Shit is really fucked up when a man who is hurting can't collapse into the arms of his woman and receive comfort and affection. We're all loving the superficial surfaces of one another, never getting deep into the depths of our partners' souls.

[–]destraht 4 points5 points  (1 child)

He was suffering for days and couldn't figure a way out of it any longer and then he collapsed. I propose that in her momentary revulsion that she shit-can him, divorce him and take near 50% of his future earnings while she refreshes herself on the sexual market with no drop in her sexual value.

[–]ProspectiveQuant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for making a rational post.

About the only thing you can conclude is that this woman is a shit person, or that marriage is totally useless now.

It's mind-boggling that hardly anyone realizes that being able to go to your spouse in times of weakness is literally supposed to be a signal of strength... that that is literally the only reason for the entire fucking enterprise in the first place.

Imagine forming business relationships with this mentality! "We're partner's, and if you ever need more capital we have an exclusive contract between us so that you can get more capital to keep our mutual venture afloat. I'll take 50%+ of the earnings. But if you ever come to me to ask for the extra capital because of a downturn, I'll screw you over and sink the mutual venture. It'll be awesome!"

It's unreal that people accept this at all...

I mean, marriage might be dead, but god damn, when did we stop being able to call people shit human beings for being shit human beings??

[–]FrameWalker 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Wife's behavior is completely reasonable given human nature.

I just feel grossed out, by myself and by him? I feel bad for even feeling this way.

She's unhappy with her own nature as well. The real tragedy is that media and society have pushed this couple towards this unhappy state. By femininizing men they create an environment where people think showing weakness as the husband should be okay. The catastrophic, often irreparable damage done to the relationship is completely avoidable.

Losing the job is not the problem. It's the reaction to it. I'm thankful subs like trp teach us how to manage emotions and navigate through life proactively.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

In my 25 years on this planet, I have seen my dad cry 1 time. It was when our dog, who we had for 17 years, passed away. Other than that, I have never seen him cry. I always respected him for that, because my mom cried all the time when they were married, and he was always there to support her. When they separated, my mom had hardly any money, and I had to be the emotional rock for her.

I learned that a man's duty is to stay strong for those around him.

Plus, have you seen a grown man cry? No one wants to see that

[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why is this a big deal. She can't have tingles and sympathy. This is red pill 101

[–]kazcovic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck this is terrifying. I genuinely thought the two safest women to cry to are your mother and your wife. Now that I think of it that is probably why I never saw my father cry even when his parents and sister died.

[–]1Dark-Ulfberht 355 points356 points  (141 children)

This thread is going to really separate those who have truly taken the pill from those who have not.

It's a very simple test.

If your first reaction toward this woman is anger, with the question "how could she do this" popping into your head, you have not internalized the pill.

If you read this and say, "of course she is disgusted," you have likely swallowed the pill.

It's that simple.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 94 points95 points  (7 children)

As Jack Donovan points out in The Way of Men, this is part of the "gang mentality" of humans. It's part of our psyche, part of all primates psyche, buried deep from millions of years of evolution.

Men don't want a weak man as part of their gang, and women don't want to be attached to a weak man who might get thrown out of the gang. They might get thrown out too, or lose social standing. They might die, or their children might die. It's why women are drawn to men's status.

And that's why the women's response in the linked thread is perfectly understandable. It's not about empathy, or being a good person. Or being cold-hearted. It is about survival. The women's reaction is a visceral one, bred into her ancestors over millions of years. And those ancestors were the winners, the successful ones, the ones who passed on their genes.

It is neither good, nor bad, it simply is. If you ever wondered why TRP says sexual mating strategy is amoral, here's a concrete lesson in that.

[–]1Dark-Ulfberht 33 points34 points  (3 children)

. . .it simply is.

I try so hard to get this through to people, not just on the internet, but in life--like fucking daily.

I say things and they immediately think I'm making a moral pronouncement. Would someone (other than Luce Irigaray) say that Einstein was making a moral judgment when he described the relationship between matter, energy and the speed of light? Of course not. Then why make do we assume that a statement about biology is somehow a moral one?

[–]RedAccount1330 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I would say it's because our whole lives we have been told that there is right and wrong and fair and unfair. Even now I catch myself thinking something "unfair" or how something is "wrong". And I have to remind myself there are no rules and the world is amoral.

[–]systemshock869 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Because to some people it is their religion.

[–]ivoryhawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Social programming is a motherfucker

[–]destraht 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If a woman's value is lessoned by being attached to other men then she will have reason to invest into her momentarily broken man to get him back into shape. If its just a momentary blip then an emotional breakdown is effectively no different than being bed-ridden for several days from a virus. The issue is that he is signaling that he is potentially no longer a top earner and the woman realizes that she can get the resources from him and mankind in general by going down another path. So certainly his behavior isn't attractive but I'd argue that without the whole built up system as it is today she would absolutely invest energy into him to simply get things back to how they were before. Then two months later with a new job, suit and top hat he could easily be bringing home the resources and fucking like a champ. There just isn't much incentive for modern women to overcome their immediate and fleeting revulsion. In other words they don't support shit. They aren't good for much.

[edit] Now would I cry like that? I doubt it and I'd likely drop a chick if it was years of me being frayed like that just to stay afloat.

[–]ProductivityMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you definitely got it right...biology has a role (initial revulsion), but humans have a prefrontal cortex to overcome just our baser, older instincts. If the right social incentive structure was in place, the woman would have incentive to overcome her initial revulsion and help her man out rather than just leave for richer pastures (pun intended).

[–]ProspectiveQuant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of us look to have people in our lives that are capable of acting based on more than the most brutish, base level instincts.

Shocking, huh?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

I'm not mad at her for being disgusted. I'm mad at her for touting what a good person she is and how her man can cry in front of her all the time and genuinely think that's what she wants.

Oh I'm attracted to things that make me a goooddd person!! (until I get them)

[–]Robalypse 15 points16 points  (1 child)

So true. My reaction to reading this today was, "Oh, gross man. What the hell was he thinking?" A couple of years ago I would have just thought she was a heartless sociopath.

[–]Lyradex 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I think I'm finally completely there. Interesting.

I did cringe as I started to read it, because I remembered once making that mistake in my BP days. Of actually unloading all my stress, and (shudder) crying to an ex.

It wasn't long before she was banging a guy at work. For quite a while when that memory came through my head, I felt anger at her.

Now I just mentally wince at making such a colossal mistake with a woman.

[–]1-800-777-GOLD 20 points21 points  (9 children)

I lived this exact situation. Our relationship changed, abruptly, during that moment. TRP was easy to swallow after seeing first hand she didn't want to be my mommy. I treat women sometimes from the persona of an emotionless asshole now, simply for lack of care to put forth effort after learning the true nature of women. After so many years of blue pill mind control, it still sometimes surprises me that they keep calling back, even after saying what "appears" to disgust them. Yet nothing could be further from the truth.

[–]sothavok 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Yup, the moment i cried in front of my gf she lost all respect for me and our sex life was non-existent after that day. I can't think of a much faster way to make her leave.

Trust me when i say they have no good advice for you. Leave that up to a fellow man you admire.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]americanmook 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Same shit for me. It took me three days to figure out, but Jesus did it almost kill me.

Knowing that they're really never gonna be your partner and just want to leech.

I don't think I'll ever get over it.

[–]mryddlin 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Knowing that they're really never gonna be your partner and just want to leech.

That's been the hardest for me on a personal level to get over, the idea that partner will always be a dependant and I'll have to force them to contribute.

I completely understand why the Mason recuirt new members they way they do now, everyone that shows up wants to be there and puts the effort in.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The point will come when you wonder why you're going to all that trouble. You may not have a good answer.

[–]evergonitenitenigga 7 points8 points  (2 children)

6 years ago my grandpa fell ill and passed away. we were all home when my dad got the phone call form his sister to tell him the bad news. my dad lost it. like i mean bawling, i have never seen him cry like that, or even cry at all, my dad is redpillish, the only thing messing him is he can't control his emotions i.e. anger and frustration. at least a couple of times i have called him out on it whenever he's unnecessarily mad and told him 'why are you so emotional about this? where is this coming from' to which he typically responds with more yelling and more non-sense. anyways back to the story, while my dad was crying after hearing the bad news (picture lead actor in a chick flick that lost their soulmate - complete beta bitch bawlin'), my mom all of a sudden had 'upset stomach' and pretty much went to their bathroom upstairs, for like a long time. during that time i was like 'that's odd, really? she couldn't at least be there and console his husband and ignore whatever stomach pain she's having?'. she came back down after my dad stopped crying and chilled out (perfect 'timing'). - reading the post reminded me so much about this, and i now fully understand why my mom couldn't stay there and support my dad, its not that she doesn't want to, its because she couldn't stand seeing my father behave like that. don't get me wrong, i love my dad and felt sad and sorry for him, but even then in my head i was like, yoo..too much crying and wailing man..relax.. i remember getting him a glass of water and him struggling and shaking with BOTH hands to put the damn thing on his lips to take a sip. can't help but think 'you serious right now? is this an act? just drink the damn water dad' but then again, i've never been in an emotional pain where i couldn't function properly physically - even a basic drinking movement, so there's that.

[–]sunwukong155 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You don't have to like it, and it can make you angry, but you have to accept it, understand it, and use it to your advantage.

Your woman is not there to help you when you are down. She is your support, but only when you are getting shit done, moving forward and leading her. She will not be a leader, you must be the leader or she will not follow you or stay with you.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She can become a leader, albeit a poor one, but she will hate it and resent you for not doing your job.

[–]TheDon835 252 points253 points  (86 children)

Bullshit dude. I'm really tired of people being able to say "you haven't swallowed the pill yet" like it's an end all be all and makes you right. If somebody feels angry that's a natural reaction, they empathize with the man, and are distraught that the women can't, for one small period in her life help him, we all know that knot in his stomach and it's shitty knowing he was treated like shit. And fuck OP for calling the guy a beta bitch, I'm willing to bet OP's cried before. I'm willing to bet he's cried in front of some bitch. Women aren't made to be soulless fucks like they've become. It's the social conditioning, it's our society. I think it's bullshit that women cheat on their husbands and slut around and every fucking dope around here says, "ohhh yeahhh just the way she is bro. Just biology bro." You don't enable a child that's being a brat, "because it's in their nature" you fucking curb it and make them behave. It's such a shit cop-out to be like everybody here is being lately.

[–]full_package 50 points51 points  (6 children)

You cry to your parents, you cry to your bestest bro, you cry alone into a pillow at night. Then the next day you make decision to improve, clench your fists and follow up on that shit.

Even if a good woman supports you to a certain degree, crying to her won't win you points. Need an outlet, go punch a bag in a gym.

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Swallowing the pill doesn't exclude a person from having mixed feelings. Her reaction of disgust should be anticipated, but we are also allowed to be put off by it.

[–]sunwukong155 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You are correct. Men have, as a whole, stopped applying consequences to women who behave badly.

Single mothers are brave. False accusers are victims. Sluts are free spirits. Cheaters are just following their heart.

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points  (22 children)

Your entire post is just what you want, your ideals. There's nothing to argue with because there are no facts, no base in reality.

Face it. Men who cry are looked down on for being weak, even if they have a perfectly good reason. You can go cry about it or throw another fit if you want, but that won't change anything. Men have to be strong. It's the way we're wired.

[–]someonelikegod 62 points63 points  (11 children)

He's not arguing that crying men are looked down upon. But a man crying doesn't make him a beta bitch.

[–]DannyDemotta 30 points31 points  (8 children)

We cannot let the Perfect be the enemy of the Good

Being "Perfect" 100% of the time is great, but ill bet you everything in my bank account i can look through your Reddit history and find at least 5-10 things to straight up tear you apart on: hypocrisy, contradictions, inconsistencies in your story, facts that are outright incorrect, and so on.

It doesnt make a man a beta-bitch to cry a single time, especially to his wife. To cry to multiple plates? Absolutely. To cry multiple times yearly to an LTR? Arguable. But its not exactly "losing frame" to have a 1-time, completely rational breakdown. This wasnt an overreaction, which is what typifies "losing frame"--going crazy over something that doesnt really matter.

Perspective around these parts has been solely missing lately. Nothing but a bunch of Newbooties and Fake-Orthodox'ers.

[–]ShazzMichaels 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Exactly. You cry when your mother dies? I'm sure your wife will understand. You cry after losing a job and talk about how you lack motivation and other generally pussy beta emotions? Yes she will look down upon you after that. Understandably so

[–]tyranus89 37 points38 points  (11 children)

Bunch of upvotes. Gilded post.

This sub is dead.

If you are angry when you see/hear/read the way women act, you have not internalized what's going on here. Emotional reactions are BP.

You are losing frame and allowing a woman to change your state through a fucking post on the internet.

You've admitted it yourself, you don't believe that women are naturally like this. That is a BP thought process.

[–]1Dark-Ulfberht 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Folks here are learning. That's why most of them are here, after all.

With the exception of people marketing their brand and pompous fucks who think they have things figured out (that's me, pompous /= wrong), most everyone else is hear to learn and rant.

With a little luck, they'll get there over time. I'm in my 30s; I bet the dude above is a teenager or in his 20s. He's got time.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 11 points12 points  (6 children)

If you are angry when you see/hear/read the way women act, you have not internalized what's going on here. Emotional reactions are BP.

I am happy that Patrice O'Neal got cremated since there would have been a level 8 earthquake near his grave site from him turning in his grave, after he heard about that load of bullshit you are spewing around.

There is nothing wrong with engaging in holy anger over all the shit bitches pull off. Whenever you think you have seen it all, there comes one who's able to top it all.

[–]tyranus89 2 points3 points  (2 children)


You cannot simultaneously believe that women are only capable of acting in accordance to one rationale, and then get angry when their actions align as such.

Entirely anti-stoic.

Might as well hate a tree for being green.

[–]scrantonic1ty 18 points19 points  (9 children)

It's the social conditioning, it's our society.

Oh, sweet summer child.

There's a reason you're so angry, it's because you think there's a chance of changing human nature, if only the sheeple would wake up and initiate a mass social engineering project to make the world the way you want it to be.

Just let go, you can't save the world, brave soldier. People are shitty, this is natural, this is known.

[–]1whatsazipper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I could agree with your post if it weren't in this thread. You've picked one of the worst cases to argue against "you haven't swallowed the pill yet".

[–]Thaweed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks mate, you are right.

My first thought was "what a bitch" like i was suprised a women wo do such a thing.

I have ways to go, but i guess i'm on the best road.

[–]1sardinemanR 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My reaction is I don't understand why men still get married. I suppose it's one of perplexity.

[–]ProductivityMonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

because like it or not, most men need a long-term relationship with a woman at some point in their life and a marriage is a way to "make it official". I don't believe it's the best way to go about it (involving the courts in a relationship), but I can at least understand why people do it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As soon as I opened this thread I thought to myself how can I verbalize what you perfectly stated.

"of course she was disgusted" was my initial thought. My second was there are more of these simple truths that I have yet to internalize because I haven't experienced myself first hand

[–]Mitchell78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, this shows that gyow is the only option because who in his right mind can be ok with being in a relationship with someone like this.

[–]cascadecombo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're answers are horrible. You put the focus on the chick, why?

Upon reading this my thoughts were of the man. He took something and felt weak and reached out the closest person.

It is perfectly understandable to be upset, crying is a part of life, not the most common for men but it happens. He needed to get that shit out of his system and then begin working out how he was going to get back on his feet.

Like some others are saying, if all you care about is "swallowing the pill" you probably haven't even been able to start your own path on being a better person yet.

[–]Hennez 20 points21 points  (2 children)

This is the problem with LTRs and marriages: the man basically gains nothing from having a wife around.

A woman wants her man to be her rock. A source of strength and stability in hard times. Seeing him completely broken and defeated shattered the illusion of strength that her husband had so far managed to cultivate. Looking for sympathy when life is hard is something women do. Men look for solutions.

That's basically wrong: marriage should not be about what one person women want. I mean: what use other than sex and some cooking is then the woman for men?. I understand the dynamic behind women's attraction and arousal but fuck, the guy's her husband and is a fucking person too.

The guy should go to a bro or maybe his father or an elder to discuss something like this. The mistake he made is basically believing the woman was a sensate person and marrying her (the first mistake).

[–]ProspectiveQuant 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A man SHOULD be gaining something from having a wife around... someone to handle busy work for you, to fuck you every day that you connect with intimately, to sleep with at night, to share life goals with, to travel with, depend on, etc... /whatever you want from a life partner.

There is a lot of obvious, and tremendous value a wife could add to your life.

The fact that the vast majority of wives don't deliver any value because they aren't required to says nothing about the potential value a wife could have.

Obviously if women are literally equivalent to rocks (non-sensate) then you are correct, there is no potential value, and it makes no sense not to just have an escort around whenever you please.

But in theory there are lots of benefits beyond having a vagina that a wife could provide.

[–]Manmore 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I love these little stories and example, because I need to be reminded that the fucking disney fantasy of love that I've had my whole life needs to die. All I wanted was a hot woman to really connect with, be open and human with. It's fucking hard but you can't show any weakness.

[–]RedPill2015 20 points21 points  (6 children)

I know AWALT and this guy should have stayed as Billy Badass, but this is why I think Redpill LTRs are fucking retarded. You're really going to endure a shrieking harpy that will backstab you in a moments notice just to get your dick sucked? I'd rather have fuck buddies or go mgtow.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (5 children)

Another lesson for ya'll.

If you lose frame like this guy and cry/show extreme weakness, then you have to counter it later with some severe as fuck black knighting. Dump her for no reason or anything that hurts her basically. Then re calibrate.

You have to wipe that weak moment away from her mind ASAP and replace it with something sociopathic. Truth.

[–]KartagoPill 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Sociopathic things are morally wrong.

But it fucking works.

[–]AdonisHera 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Morally wrong? To each its own man.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Lash out at others to make up for your failings.

Sounds legit.

[–]Mendax22 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just shared the story with my mother. After giving her the background and carefully describing TRP's response, she didnt want to talk about it. Attempting to divert the conversation, she stated "why would a woman want a weak man anyway?" AWALT.

[–]Dzuari 15 points15 points [recovered]

Anyone who thinks something is wrong with this women has half assed their reading in TRP. She is a perfectly normal women.

The Hierarchy of Love

empathy is a one way street for men and only a luxury you get up until you're a teenager, It goes


[–]Bhiim 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I like how she comes to the subreddit for advice but posts with the ID husbandproblems1

[–]zxDanKwan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are two times you're allowed to cry in front of your woman.

  1. When an immediate family member dies (father, mother, sibling).
  2. I lied. There's only one.

[–]Jethros 16 points17 points  (44 children)

There are only a few acceptable times for a man to cry. When your dog dies. When a close friend or family member dies. When your child is born. Losing your job isn't on that list.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 12 points13 points  (10 children)

When your child is born.

That's hilarious because one BP poster at PPD wrote ad verbatim "there's nothing manlier than a guy who cries over his newborn child".

Yeah, that says pretty much all you got to know about how often you're allowed to shed tears in your life in front of a woman.

[–]Clockshade 20 points21 points  (7 children)

You can cry at the end of Terminator 2. One tear, and a sniffle. That's it.

[–]Philhelm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And Saving Private Ryan, but only if you're a WWII veteran.

[–]2rp_valiant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–]The_BeardedGentleman 22 points23 points  (0 children)

There is a difference between a man crying and a pathetic mess crying.

When a man cries, it isn't an event that drags on. There is no sobbing, or leaning for comfort while holding back snot. It is someone letting a single tear fall after they finish a heavy sentence/moment.

That seems to be the divide to me atleast. When my brother died, both my father and I stood next to him. Pulled our sister towards us. Shes sobbing uncontrolably (like the guy in the OP). Put my arm around her and said "The trio had a good run". Dad said "Yeah... I suppose it did" as he caught a tear falling down his face. And we walked away. I didn't really know about TRP or anything at the time, but I knew deep down from the moment I got the phone call about his death that I was about to have to hold frame for the next month, not for me, but for everyone else who can't.

If you're ever in that moment, you'll hear people asking you why you aren't crying, and trying to reassure you that its okay if you do. Don't listen to a word they fucking say. Listen to your gut or end up like the man in the OP.

[–]SteelChicken 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Death and birth is it - and only for people and dogs. And with dogs, only death. And with birth, only YOUR baby.

[–]KartagoPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But that's not your baby John! Get CUCKD

[–]Limekill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When your dog dies.


Fuck women have even been annoyed that their husband cried when their parents died. But then they are fucking annoyed if you don't cry because your not showing any emotion.

[–]Philhelm 4 points5 points  (2 children)

My wife kept saying that I would cry when our first daughter was born. It was like she really wanted me to cry for some reason I could not understand (this was pre-TRP). I scratched my head, confused, and asked why I would cry just because some fetus will crawl out of her. As it turns out, our firstborn was rushed to a children's hospital the day after her birth, and had to go through an exhausting battery of tests and a few surgeries. No tears here; shit test passed.

[–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You haven't received the bill yet.

[–]Anderfail 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Yes, we should all be autistic robots who keep a stoney and emotionless facade in the face of adversity.

All you have to do to be able to cry in front of your significant other is to not be a weeping faggot. If you are a man who commands respect, then women mostly won't care if you cry when serious life affecting shit happens to you, especially if you have a proven history of picking your ass up off the ground and moving forward.

Women don't like criers, but they also don't particularly care much for autists either.

[–]Thizzlebot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When your dog dies.

I had to do this last Thursday. It hurt and still hurts like a mother fucker. I cried in front of my mom and brother but that's it. I didn't even want to do that but what the fuck ever you have to let it out sometimes. My GF keeps trying to get me to cry to her about it but no fucking way because it gives her power over me. RP has actually given me better control over my emotions and because of that I have more control of my life.

I have two cries left in me: mom dying and dad dying. Everything else isn't worth it.

I will never ever cry over a relationship with a female.

[–]aherne18 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here I find no fault in woman's behavior. Men who cry before their women deserve what they get: disgust. Tailing a woman to get pussy, which is what beta males do, is one thing. Crying before her and deploring yourself is not beta, but omega male behavior. Only omega males, in their desperate attempts to get group's acceptance keep their heads down and invite being trampled over (because for them being ignored is worse than being insulted).

"Project strength and confidence even during times of turmoil." Never feel week also, or if you do never show it to anyone (incl. male "friends" who would betray you more often than not).

[–]Futdashukup 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Its all well and good everyone saying "Oh what a beta-bitch. He should know AWALT," but losing your job does hit you hard, and most men won't be able to maintain. I went through a similar thing and my wife was very supportive. But I did get back on track in about a month...

[–]ktchong 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Which is why I do not feel sorry nor sympathy for wives who got dumped by by their husbands who became successful and decided to "upgrade" the younger, hotter women.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

sniff "I don't know what to do... oh godfather I just don't know what to do..."


That part always stuck with me.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Vito Corleone was alpha as fuck.

[–]epixs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fully expected, same thing happens with team dynamics. If you see your leader cry or get scared, how do you think that makes the other people under him feel.

Same dynamic here fellas

[–]Anderfail 5 points6 points  (1 child)

When I got fired from my first job out of college (it was entirely my own fault for doing something stupid), I broke down in front of my wife. Outside of funerals, it's the only time she's ever seen me cry like that.

She was nothing but supportive during the process thankfully. It was the moment in my life when I realized I could no longer be a child and I began making some long overdue changes. Went to grad school, got my engineering degree, got a job immediately afterwards, and now am on my second job since and work in industry. It was a seminal event for me and I am now thankful it happened because it kicked my ass into gear.

My wife may have been disgusted at the time, I don't know. She never wavered in her commitment to the relationship though, but now I understand I can never take it for granted and that I always must seek to improve myself, not to be worthy but because to do it for myself and to be the best man I can be.

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The hamster wheel has begun to spin. It won't be long before she either leaves him or finds a Chad to cheat with.

Another example of why male spaces are important. You cannot rely on a woman for emotional support.

[–]uututhrwa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She probably has Asperger's doe

[–]long-lostfriend 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was recently let go from my job (more or less; I managed to negotiate a resignation deal to protect my reputation), and there is no way in hell I would have shown weakness to my wife.

Due to the contractual and seasonal nature of my profession, it basically meant that I was not going to see income for several months, even when I was almost immediately picked up by a new employer. That means that we had to cut back on a lot, and I also picked up a couple of side hustles and acquired some funds (legally) from some sources I would never, ever disclose to her. I got shit taken care of, though, and she never once saw me in self-pity or defeated.

As of this week, we should be headed out of those woods. There were times that things got tense between us as we were running on financial fumes and I had to firmly tell her to knock off some complaining about circumstances I could do nothing more about. My wife is a good woman, but there is no way I would put myself in a position of her seeing me as someone who needs her to be the anchor in our marriage.

[–]iwillbemuscle 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is how women operate, you haven't swallowed the pill if you think that there's something wrong with her. Edit: grammar

[–]Narwal_Snausages 8 points9 points  (0 children)

To death do we part only refers to your paycheck!

[–]Modern__Day__Pricus 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I love reading stories as much as I do reading about theories and philosophies.

Examples paint a picture in real time of what is going on for men in both the blue and red world.....

[–]Disaster532385 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This truth is still the hardest and most bitter one for me.

[–]Mon_k 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Basically if you want a loyal companion that you don't have to always maintain frame around; get a dog. Dog treats are cheaper than diamonds anyway...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Pity is death to desire"- Daenarys Targaryan

[–]Mosin_999 14 points15 points  (7 children)

I don't know about this one, i'm all for AWALT and all that but I have real life examples where guys I knew went through shit and real bad times and their girlfriends supported them pretty hardcore.

She just sounds like a fucking twat (The more selfish kind of one) and he's stupid for not seeing it sooner/and getting with her.

This one isn't black and white for me I'm afraid. I've seen counter examples often too. I think the bottom line here is pick the woman you end up with carefully. If you pick a fucking psycho and get fucked over then come blasting AWALT on a forum it's your own fault.

[–]gymgoer205 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did they cry like little bitches looking for comfort? Or did they lose their jobs and immediately go about getting themselves together?

[–]zpatriarchy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

you are wrong. AWALT. they do not want to see weakness. they hate it. you can go through hard times without sobbing & seeking comfort like he did.

when you carry on like a trooper is when girls will force their compassion on you. they will do their best to take care of you because you don't need it.

if you turn into a helpless mess, they will not help you.

[–]thetotalpackage7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't know man. I do think every woman would think that some dude crying hysterically about a LOST JOB would think it's pretty pathetic. I think you might be conflating crying over a lost parent or friend which, in my mind, wouldn't be so pathetic to let slip out in front of your wife. About a job though? No way.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails." - Niccolò Machiavelli

[–]Riddick_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Dude lost his job - Wife is completely disgusted... Textbook.

[–]Factushima 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Lessons Learned section is a little strange.

It should start at "Don't get married. Marriage is for chumps and betas".

"If you are married you're already fucked. If you don't want to lose all your shit and your children you should:" then the rest would apply.

[–]Factushima 2 points3 points  (2 children)

There is a problem with the word "normal" in these comments.

It should be understood that normal in this context means "common." On no planet now or ever is the behavior of Western women "normal." They are beyond fucked but that is ever present.

[–]tio1w 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This behavior is universal across cultures, races, religions, societies and historical periods.

Women can't feel empathy towards a man. At best she'll be indifferent but more often than not she'll be outright disgusted like this princess.

[–]MarinTaranu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And did the bitch have a job at that time? Maybe it was time to stop being a stay-at-home parasite ooops mommy and get her hands dirty.

[–]rpthrowawayaway 2 points3 points  (2 children)

"This is the first time I had to comfort him... first time i ever saw him cry, ever...I couldn't do it and felt disgusted"

Just goes to show it literally only takes one time losing frame for your woman to lose all respect for you. It's sad but true.

[–]1sardinemanR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's sort of a corollary to Briffault's Law.

It really doesn't matter what you've done, none of it creates a continuing obligation on the woman or any desire for her to repay that debt she should have to you. She doesn't care, she can't care. It is her biological programming.

This is why "equality" is such an absolute joke. You can not be red pill and think women are "equal." Women are inferior in every way to a man, and if you're not willing to take your spot above women, then you are beta, and you just don't get it, bottom line.

[–]tio1w 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just goes to show it literally only takes one time losing frame

It doesn't even have to be real. It can just be imagined, it's just as powerful. There is no winning.

[–]tenientj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been unemployed for over a year now, and I have a few side hustles going on. Sometimes, days, weeks are rough and I genuinely feel like crying. I genuinely feel fear sometimes. When the bad moments are tough, especially as it relates to a man's survival, it's fear down to the deepest core we feel as men. On top of that, I have depression, and that intensifies those feelings.
My girlfriend never fucking hears of any of this.

The most she'll get is a vague, "shit is hard" sometimes, and I tend to avoid here when I need emotional support from her the most. You break frame once, you're going to have to put up with a lot of shit tests to establish your dominance and male worth.
The only time a woman is allowed to see you cry, is when someone close to you dies. That's the only time.

[–]Lashlarue123 3 points3 points [recovered]

Disagree slightly. We are human and need sympathy and comfort sometimes too. If your bitch is too shallow to understand this and/or you are too weak to pick yourself up, cut contact and monk mode for a bit while confiding in trusted allies.

[–]WilliamGrand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more I swallow the pill the more I don't want anything to do with women.

[–]1Jaereth 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well what did they expect to happen? A good Captain doesn't break down crying and hugging his First Mate when somethings wrong with the ship.

And those lines about "how he feels he has no strength or motivation to carry on, how he feels weak and useless because of all of this." - He bitched up BIGTIME there! So you got fired once and you are giving up on life totally? I'd be disgusted with this behavior if it was one of my guy friends doing it with me. Imagine how a mate would feel!

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 8 points9 points  (4 children)

This does confirm TRP tenets about maintaining frame, projecting strength, etc, but just to play devil's advocate here, I don't think feeling disgust when faced with weakness is exclusive to women.

I think displays of weakness are universally pathetic and breed contempt at some level, especially if it's not over a major unexpected life tragedy like losing your kid or your local equivalent of 9/11.

Crying over a lost job is super weak and pathetic. It's just a goddamn job. Whatever sick mortgage you have and however deep in debt you are, there's always a way out.

tl, dr: don't cry when you lose your job.

[–]arrayay 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Whatever sick mortgage you have and however deep in debt you are, there's always a way out.

That helps illustrate how debt itself is a weakness. That is often hidden, but then something like a job loss can expose it. People don't like fakes, and all the sudden the debt exposure makes you look like a fake. You didn't really have that house, car, etc. You were just posing.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, all true.

Managing your finances prudently is also part of TRP and has been covered in many posts.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You do have a point there. A few years back a blue pill friend of mine had a full-on emotional crisis over the fact that he was in his early 30s and had never been married. As I watched him whine and wallow in self-pity, I couldn't help but feel disgust towards him. I definitely lost some respect for him that day.

[–]WilsonSelf 4 points4 points [recovered]

Haha, I can't help but laugh. This shit is so ingrained in my psyche I don't even react to it anymore. "Oh, another one bites the dust, oh well." walking away with my hands in my pockets, whistling

I've come to the point where comments from red pillers seem... alien to me. "MAINTAIN THAT FRAME, DUDE!" "DREAD THE FUCK OUTTA HER!". "NEVER DO X!". "NEVER DO Y!"

Really? It feels like some advice is given for people swimming upstream. You need to get to a point where you truly do not give a flying fuck about the women in your life and thereby any loss you suffer is not really a loss.

If you are in a LTR you need to remember one thing and one thing ONLY; Frame-holding & dread comes naturally to the guy who holds his woman at an eighth place priority.

[–]whisky1111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I've come to the point where comments from red pillers seem... alien to me. "MAINTAIN THAT FRAME, DUDE!" "DREAD THE FUCK OUTTA HER!". "NEVER DO X!". "NEVER DO Y!"

I agree. I think many here still see women as the "prize" to be obtained and kept but rather than using blue pill tactics(provider-ship) they attempt to expend energy with using tingles instead.

In either scenario it's the woman who wins, and the "prize" ain't worth it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely disgusting response from the wife...

[–]Mitchell78 9 points10 points  (3 children)

She never loved the guy, only what he did for her, what he provided. Now that he has shown weakness she doesn't know how to handle this.

[–]Frdl 12 points13 points  (1 child)

"She never loved the guy, only what he did for her"

This is a woman's love. Welcome to TRP.

[–]iamirishpat 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Question: I understand why I wouldn't be able to break down in front of my girl like this, buts what's a guy supposed to do with all those emotions he's feeling? I can talk to my mother like this, but when she passes on, are you telling me that I'll have no one?

[–]juliusstreicher 1 point2 points  (2 children)

So what? I have nobody to whom I can express my emotions. I have some good bros, but, they don't cry to me and I don't cry to them. My brother has no internal strength of his own, so, I would just be pissing in the wind. The gf wouldn't give a shit.

Believe me, not having a shoulder to cry on is the LEAST of my problems.

[–]GurneyHalleck85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, wrong lessons learned. The proper lesson is MGTOW and that the juice is not worth the squeeze.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He shouldn't have been a little bitch. She has every right to feel disgusted by him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The comments are typical bluepill shaming puke. They hate her because if she isnt evil then something else must be going on....none of these folks can use this observation to formulate an alternative hypothesis..

"What happened to through thick and thin?"

"For better or for worse?"

" dont you love him for him?"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd go so far as to suggest saving those tears for your closest guy friend. They'll be weirded out at first but ultimately, I think with most men, seeing that moment of vulnerability is flattering that you'd share with them. Obviously can't be a regular habit, but it has its place.

[–]ShanksNes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck all this and fuck frame. There's a limit to how much a man can perform. I can understand the need for married red pill aware men to rationalize it, but the fact remains that any form of LTR becomes a no go after you are unplugged. All women are reduced to whores.

You can have enjoyable relationships with women. And you will get your whiff of happiness from time to time. But ultimately, the pendulum will swing back and your sisyphean dream will come down crashing. The only thing that we can do, is to be resilient till we die.

As much as we try to sugarcoat it, that is the male condition and the burden that we all have to bear.

[–]yummyluckycharms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The people making excuses for this women are horrible.

This isnt someone who is 15 years old just navigating the dating world. This is an adult who has been in the dating world for a long time, knows the game and how to play it. She is only posting this because, surprise - surprise - she's looking for an ego stroke and validation of her decisions.

Yes, this guy is a beta bitch and made several key mistakes - showing emotion, expressing weakness and indecision, not knowing about Awalt and briffaults laws, and of course, getting married. But here's the thing - there hasnt been a man alive that wasnt blue pill at least once in their life. With any luck, this guy will find the red and be shown the light.

Lets remember the above, and have some sympathy for the guy. Just because women and society dont give a fuck about men, doesnt mean we should turn our collective back on him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Either with this or on this."

So Spartan mothers and wives spoke to their sons and husbands handing them their shields.

And rightly so. Men must do what men do in order to be men. No sympathy can be expected from women.

I'd sooner get myself killed in a heist than break down crying in front of a woman.

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 4 points5 points  (1 child)

AWALT can be confusing at times. My parents have been married for more than 25 years and are both pretty conservative and old school. My dad has had major health problems for the last 15 years, but my mom has always been there for him.

The past couple of years he has been getting really whiny and complains to any one that is willing to lend him an ear. He acts like a child sometimes and it seems as if he wants my mother to mother him. I don't understand how my mom deals with it because honestly I get annoyed and I find myself losing respect for him for the way he deals with it, but my mom is always there as helpful as can be.

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