Summary: A woman in the relationships subreddit was recently told by her husband that he got laid off. He then broke down crying in front of her. Instead of feeling supportive and sympathetic, she felt disgusted and had no desire to comfort him.
The relationships subreddit can often be an unintentional source of RP truths. Here's a gem I just discovered.
My husband has been acting very strange the past 4 days. He's been going in and out every morning like he usually does, but his manner had been different. He'd been seeming much less happy, almost as if he had to force himself to smile and at times overcompensate by forcing an exaggerated happiness. Other than that he was becoming quiet and withdrawn, much slower in daily things, and also very distant. His sex drive had disappeared completely and he just seemed tired always.
Yesterday he sat me down and said he had to tell me something very important. I knew something was up so I was listening very carefully. He proceeded to explain to me how he had been made redundant at work and no longer had a job there. He described how it had it him like a stack of bricks out of nowhere and he wasn't expecting it. He said he felt hurt and disappointed in himself incredibly. At this point he started crying, telling me how he feels he has no strength or motivation to carry on, how he feels weak and useless because of all of this. He seemed very weak from the way he was talking.
Notice her use of language. She mentions weakness twice in as many sentences. It's almost as if she finds weakness unattractive...
While crying he put his head on my shoulder and hugged me for support, but I just gave him a half-hug back. I'm not sure why, I know I was meant to say something, I know I was meant to be empathetic, he's my husband. But I couldn't stand the situation, I just wanted to get away. I knew I should be supportive but it didnt' come naturally to me. I just felt so disgusted and put off by the whole thing, especially the way he was crying. I just couldn't find it in me to be supportive at all.
I have no idea what to do. Is it normal for a wife to feel this way? Is it normal that I feel no urge to comfort and show empathy to my husband during this difficult time for him, but instead I just feel grossed out, by myself and by him? I feel bad for even feeling this way.
He completely broke frame and started crying like a little beta bitch. Nothing kills a woman's attraction towards a man like pity. And if the relationship was based on him being able to provide for her, she no longer sees any benefit to being with him.
A little later on OP replied with this comment:
Usually I am empathetic and compassionate when others are distressed. I think this is the first time the other has been my husband and I've been the one to have to comfort him. I've never seen him cry before, ever.
A woman wants her man to be her rock. A source of strength and stability in hard times. Seeing him completely broken and defeated shattered the illusion of strength that her husband had so far managed to cultivate. Looking for sympathy when life is hard is something women do. Men look for solutions.
The hamster wheel has begun to spin. It won't be long before she either leaves him or finds a Chad to cheat with.
- Maintain frame. Project strength and confidence even during times of turmoil.
- Never cry like a little bitch in front of a woman you're sleeping with. If you absolutely must pour your heart out to somebody, pick a trusted male friend or relative who knows how to keep his mouth shut.