Men's RightsWoman Used Sperm From Oral Sex To Get Pregnant, Gets Child Support (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by mister_barfly75

A short one here:

tl;dr: Woman Used Sperm From Oral Sex To Get Pregnant, Gets Child Support

Main Body: Here's a fucked up story I stumbled upon in TIL

Basic story, a doctor has an affair with physician. They never actually have sex, but she goes down on him. One night she stores the cum in her cheeks, spits it into a test tube, and uses it to impregnate herself. Fast forward two years and she files for child support and fucking wins because: his sperm was given to her as a “gift,” “an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,”

Lessons learnt: Keep your jimmy wrapped, take your condoms home with you or make sure she fucking swallows. Some women are just devious, selfish bitches out to separate you from your wallet and will willingly use kids, even ones she conceived in shady circumstances, as weapons against you.

[–]2popthatpill 316 points317 points  (62 children)

Remember: men have no reproductive rights.

[–]5 Endorsed ContributorStayinghereforreal 94 points95 points  (58 children)

You can often request a paternity test, depending on the local laws.

Note that, gentlemen: often. Not always.

Pretty much says it all right there.

[–]Primemale 8 points9 points  (57 children)

Often? Why not always? you could just say I don't believe it's mine or we didn't have sex etc.

[–]csehszlovakze 58 points58 points [recovered]

If you're in Germany, France or Israel, the results of a paternity test will be ignored and you'll be fined/imprisoned. Fun, eh?

[–]Primemale 41 points42 points  (19 children)


This essentially gives a woman a free pass, under the guise of ''keeping the families together''

any info on how this came into play?

[–]ioncloud9 38 points39 points  (5 children)

Its all for the child's state's benefit

[–]wordjedi 18 points18 points [recovered]

One of these days they're going to start running bachelors down in the street, arresting them, randomly assigning them a child in the expensive foster care system, and forcing them to pay child support. Virgins, gay men, everybody. Have dick? You must pay.

[–]pink_ego_box 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's only illegal to do it by yourself outside a court-ordered decision.

In France it's illegal to take someone's DNA by your own initiative and give it to a private company that will analyze it. Court-mandated paternity test are of course authorized under the authority of a judge in a procedure of paternity contestation. If the result show that you're not the biological father you're exempt from any responsibility and alimony and the biological father, if identified, becomes the legal father.

How did this came into play? Bioethics laws that say "maybe companies shouldn't have access to a child's DNA without any regulation on sample and data usage and retention"

Next time read the article you reply to until the last paragraph.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (11 children)

any info on how this came into play?

Because in France, proving paternity when it first became possible (80's I guess) would MAJORLY fuck up the country, due to the ... how can I put it... "war brides"/"war babies" from the 1945 German Invasion.

Also - feminism and legalised open hypergamy. "For the family" (ie for the woman).

It's fucked up - welcome to TRP.

[–]pink_ego_box 1 point2 points  (8 children)

You couldn't be farther from the truth. Don't try to pass your opinions as facts.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Wow that's pathetic, a woman can literally lie and get a check for nearly two decades as a reward, a reward for lying.

It's no wonder simple morals are going out the window

[–]marty2k 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Even if this wasn't women's natural prerogative, society sure as shit is still trying it's do hardest.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hah. In Israel, it really it a competition to see who can out-jew who.

[–]federalfarmer7 11 points11 points [recovered]

You could be on the hook for a lot of reasons. Your name could be on the birth certificate, for example.

[–]Turkerthelurker 31 points32 points  (15 children)

This is worth highlighting.

Guys, if you put your name on the birth certificate, you are volunteering to be legally responsible for the baby.

If you are going to get a paternity test (and why the fuck would you not?), do it before you sign ANYTHING.

[–]forgtmnot 27 points28 points  (14 children)

If the mother puts your name on the birth certificate, you are legally responsible in a number of states.

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Christ, can I find a list of these states so I can not live there?

[–]2popthatpill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Texas is probably one of the states.

[–]nillotampoco 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Do you know of any articles or periodicals that discuss these sorts of man-traps?

[–]Hsrock 4 points5 points  (2 children)

If that's true, why don't the crazy women haphazardly put down the names of rich famous people like Elon Musk, Trump, Steve Jobs, etc. when they don't know the father? I can see something like that setting a precedent, if it were to happen, but why hasn't it yet?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Almost certainly because it would be easier for someone with that kind of means to easily squash it in a legal battle.

[–]nillotampoco 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Women aren't crazy when it comes down to securing resources for their offspring, women who don't prioritize that have been heavily naturally selected against.

They put their best bet down putting the name of some far & away rich person is just preparing to fail.

[–]Primemale 7 points8 points  (14 children)

Yeah but even so I can think of NO SITUATION where I would pay child support without a paternity test, (outside of a relationship) regardless of what the local law says. America is (particularly) fucked up.

[–]Tingly_Fingers 13 points14 points  (13 children)

Generally you only have 30 days to contest being put on a birthday certificate....and if you didn't know you were named the father? Well now you're fucked.

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey 4 points5 points  (10 children)

So any women I know could file paternity and not let me know and after thirty days in liable to it? There's nothing I can do? What?

[–]Tingly_Fingers 5 points6 points  (9 children)

Some states have laws in place to prevent a mother from lying on. The birth certificate. California is one such state. California law will not allow a father to be named on the birth certificate unless he is present to sign the official document. A lot of states do not do this. Many states allow the mother to just name the father and after the birth certificate becomes an official government document it is hard to overturn and refute. In the time between finding out and going through court trying to prove your NOT the father you will be held responsible for child support. You can be put in jail while going to court fighting the birth document.

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey 2 points3 points  (6 children)

After you manage to prove it's fake after being sent to jail, can you sue her and have her go to jail?

[–]BigDiggerNick74 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hahaha no. I mean you could, but you'd probably just end up having to pay her court fees.

[–]Primemale 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So you are saying they can put you on there, without you being notified? then if you are lucky enough to be psychic, you have 30 days to say you didn't fuck this dumb bitch? I would send them a letter back saying you have 30 days to prove I am the father

[–]Tingly_Fingers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends on the state. California doesn't allow this. I replied to another commenter. I'm on mobile so read that. But that shit happens. Google "baby Jessica custody case 1993"

[–]1nzgs 28 points29 points  (0 children)

There are no such things as rights. To acknowledge any right is to deny self-ownership and to defer ownership to the state.

Women do not have "reproductive rights", they have government entitlements.

[–]NoFatChicks88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i always laugh my ass off when women complain about their reproductive rights. have to remind them of what you said.

[–]prodigy2throw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the real take away here is don't stick your dick in crazy or impoverished women.

[–]transitivecurves 84 points84 points [recovered]

his sperm was given to her as a “gift,” “an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,”

Such fucking bullshit. If what she did was okay because it was a gift, then he should be absolved of what she does with it.

[–]BallisticTherapy 83 points84 points  (4 children)

If I give someone a knife and they kill someone with it, I'm not responsible; but if I give someone and nut and they birth someone with it, I'm on the hook.

So if she used my sample to impregnate a thousand women in a secret lab without my consent or knowledge, I'm responsible for every birth that happens as a result. That doesn't look anything like a property rights issue to me.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 29 points30 points  (3 children)

So if she used my sample to impregnate a thousand women in a secret lab without my consent or knowledge, I'm responsible for every birth that happens as a result.

Dude, that's diabolical. That's pure evil.

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 21 points22 points  (2 children)

similar but different:


At least seven instances were identified in which Jacobson was the biological father of the patients' children, including one patient who was supposed to have been inseminated with sperm provided by her husband.

DNA tests linked Jacobson to at least 15 such children, and it has been suspected that he fathered as many as 75 children by impregnating patients with his own sperm.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

and he got 5 years for it XD

[–]marty2k 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Notice how this doesn't apply to women? A woman sends you a nude pic, you are not allowed to put it anywhere. That seems much more like a "gift" than some cum in some sluts mouth. Then again, having her nude pictures out there signifies her as a slut and goes against women's main objective, being able to pull this shit works for a woman's objective, so of course it's law.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]HappyScribe 69 points70 points  (2 children)

OT, but by storing the sperm in her cheeks, she's literally hamstering.

[–]libglip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, I practically heard the rimshot when I read that.

But, she's not "literally" hamstering if a literal hamster is not involved somehow. (If it was, I don't wanna know.)

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (7 children)

This reminds me of that movie "Bad teacher", where she says that the NBA players she was hooking up with, would take the used condoms with them.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (6 children)

They had to, or flush them down the toilet. Because some women fished the condoms out of the trash and impregnated themselves, and the courts still made the men pay CS. The NBA had to put out a letter to all their players about it.

[–]theredspill 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Hell I always take mine with me and I have no where near the smv of a pro athlete

[–]fucktales 33 points34 points  (4 children)

It's not about SMV, it's about your bank account value.

[–]ThrowyMcGruder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your bank account doesn't even necesarily come into it.

If a certain woman wants those sweet government benefits, she can fuck an unemployed guy, get pregnant, and get them.

She'll get the benefits and it's up to him to make the child support payments from there.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 35 points36 points  (6 children)

the court rejected that stance, saying his sperm was given to her as a “gift,” “an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,” according to the court decision.

Heh. Okay, fine. Then anything she does with it is her responsibility, and he doesn't have to pay a dime.

I'm okay with that. Either sperm becomes her property when I shoot it into her, and she's on the hook, not me... or it remains my property, and she has no right to make it into a child without my permission.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (5 children)

Seriously this logic makes no sense. If I give a hunting knife to someone as a gift and they stab someone with it, I'm on the hook?

Fucking femnazi judges man...

[–]Redasshole 8 points9 points  (0 children)

How can an educated person not see Whisper's logic above? I mean, really. They are clever, they must understand that.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]genericusername348 2 points3 points  (0 children)

considering a lot of the fat feminists take to blaming mcdonalds and such for making them fat rather than themselves for eating too much. i would not be surprised to see some of them try to sue for that in the future.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's fat shaming dude, just wow

[–]zxDanKwan 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Interesting, though not surprising... if you read enough of the comments, you find women saying things like "he willingly had sex with her at the time, and gave her his sperm. You can't retroactively revoke consent."

Why didn't our ancestors ride hamsters into battle? They are ferocious and cunning beasts, capable of insane reality-warping feats.

[–]NotUpToAnythingGood 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Correction: You cannot retroactively revoke consent unless you are a woman.

This has been shown by multiple instances in the news and media.

[–]Renoir_24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also in the courtroom unfortunately.

[–]Tarnsman4Life 132 points133 points  (10 children)

Are we to the point where I have to grab a woman by the throat after I am done face fucking her and make sure she swallows like some defiant child trying to cheek a pill?

People wonder why men hate the idea of getting married and having kids.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

you have stroke it down her throat like when you give a dog pills

[–]BlackHeart89 12 points13 points  (5 children)

I actually push their heads down or have them continue blowing me for a bit after I cum to make sure its a done deal. But I suppose choking them might work. Be careful of that grip though.

[–]jerry_rigger 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Wait, are we not suppose to choke them?

[–]BlackHeart89 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Lol good point.

Guy: cums and chokes her till she swallows yeahhhh, you like that? thinks to himself, "you better swallow bitch! You won't catch me slipping"

Woman: I love him!

[–]jerry_rigger 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Have you been watching through my bedroom window?

[–]Talon1212 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I've noticed you perform better when you have an audience.

[–]jerry_rigger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do. Thanks, BTW, I appreciate it.

[–]jerry_rigger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are we to the point where I have to grab a woman by the throat after I am done face fucking her and make sure she swallows like some defiant child trying to cheek a pill?

Wait... Are you saying this isn't normal?

If this is wrong then, good sir, I do not want to be right.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points  (80 children)

This is why I'm getting a vasectomy on my first paycheck.

[–]RageLife 41 points42 points  (29 children)

Still waiting on that vasalgel.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (28 children)

I want something permanent.

[–]RedPillMat 21 points22 points  (23 children)

Vasalgel supposedly lasts easily 10 years, and is a quick injection. That's a long time. I'd have no problem getting a quick injection every 8 years to be safe.

[–]grewapair 18 points19 points  (9 children)

You'll be 100 years old by the time the FDA approves it, if it works at all.

[–]1aguy01 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Imagine the lawsuits for PTSD when women unknowingly date infertile men.

[–]jerry_rigger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How the fuck would that work?

I mean I have no doubt they'd try bi it doesn't make sense to me.

[–]Ovadox 2 points3 points  (2 children)

All they need to do is legalize it in one country. If they drag ass on approving it here it's black market time bitches.

[–]RedPillMat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Point 1. I don't live in the US (thank fucking god).

Point 2. Even if I did, I can always travel to a country where it's approved Kappa

[–]suuupreddit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if it works at all.

What are you talking about? It does work.

[–]csehszlovakze 1 point2 points  (3 children)

They also forget that it can be reversed and you can still freeze sperm if the reversion fails. Too bad it's illegal here so I have to get abroad first.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It's also a safeguard against myself, I try to be RP and MGTOW af but I know that if the "right girl"(no such thing) walked into my life, my lizard brain might take control and direct me into making some dumb decisions. For me, a vasectomy is an ultimatum, a private statement to myself declaring that I will never have kids or get cuckolded!

[–]Redasshole 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Exactly. Never under estimate women. They can fuck with your brain to no extent. But anyway, with time you will be less and less likely to get fooled.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, plus there is that dangerous chemical cocktail that flows and makes them seem perfect even though they could be a total wreck. Scary stuff!

[–]Lumby 9 points10 points  (2 children)

It's been two years since I got mine. Totally worth it. My recommendation would be to get it at a place that specializes in men's health.

[–]1legedu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got lucky. They brought in a 70+ year old doc that only does vasectomies. Barely felt a thing.

[–]ChiangRai 11 points12 points  (18 children)

Got min scheduled for Sept 1. Pretty excited. Reminds me. Gotta pick up some more frozen veggies peas and corn for the jiblets.

[–]wdarea51 4 points5 points  (16 children)

Hopefully they hook you up with some oxymorphone or something good.

[–]fortifiedoranges 4 points5 points  (13 children)

I was told on hear that it's rather painless, just a sore feeling for fora couple of days. I think it's a same day thing with just local anesthetic.

[–]PanzerBatallion 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Mine has been daily pain for 4 months now.

Listen carefully kids - nothing is risk free. For 990 out of 1000 guys, their vasectomies will go fine and they will be back to work in a couple of days.

For a small percentage though, they will be impotent after. And for another small percentage they will have something called post vasectomy pain syndrome that the doctors don't know what causes it and don't know how to stop it. They 'think' it will go away on its own. Eventually. But that's all they can do.

Source - vasectomy in april. In the ER the weekend after. Ejaculated blood a month later, and 3 urologists later, still no closer to understanding why I'm in daily pain.

TL:DR - Everything you do is a risk. Understand them fully before you jump.

[–]1aguy01 23 points24 points  (0 children)

And that's why I don't want people slicing my balls open.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for shedding light on the dangers of vasectomies, I've read a lot of horror stories when I was looking into it. Make sure you get your testosterone tested, low T is common with it.

[–]onbakeplatinum 8 points9 points  (7 children)

I had a vasectomy 8 years ago and can tell all about the experience.

They put you in the abortion chair. The one with the stirrups that holds your legs apart. He also tapes your dick to your pubes so he won't have to deal with it swinging around when he's working.

I was afraid of the shot. They stick the needle right at the base of your dick where smooth meets wrinkles. It was actually no big deal whatsoever.

What I didn't know is that they use a clamp to expose the vas deferens. The clamp causes that sick to your stomach balls feeling you get when you sit on a bike wrong. You just have to deal with it until he's done. He does this for each testicle.

After he was done, he untaped my dick. I was stuck in that uncomfortable ball feeling the entire time and was also afraid during the surgery. I looked down and my dick was so shrunked that if the tape wasn't there, it would have gone inverted.

The next day, I took off the bandage. There was a huge bruise on my ball sack that hurts just thinking about. They say you can go to work within 3 days. This is not true if you go down stairs. Each step is like a kick in the nuts. Getting in and out of the car is also very scary and painful. Again with that sick to the stomach feeling.

Finally I got over it. I don't even know where he cut in, the entry point is hidden within the wrinkles. I have had no side effects and am glad I had it done.

[–]Kenny_Twenty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Jesus. Reading that made me cringe.

[–]boredepression 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Your doc musta sucked. I was up no problem the next day walking round. Never even needed any of the oxy.

[–]user_none 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Agreed. I walked right out of the doc's office, went home and a few hours later the wife (ex-wife now) and I had sex. Crazy, right?

I've been snipped since July '08 and to this day I believe it's one of the best decisions I've made.

[–]vezokpiraka 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I still want to have children when I'm older. And a vasectomy is way too permanent. What if when I'm 40 I decide I really want to have kids?

[–]tropicalpolevaulting 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sperm banks. I know it's not manly to impregnate your woman with a turkey baster but it beats getting ass raped with alimony from a one night stand where you were too drunk to cum on her face...

[–]steviamies 146 points146 points [recovered]

That shit should be classified as sexual assault.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 50 points51 points  (0 children)

At least one man has gone to jail for poking holes in a condom.

He was convicted of -- you guessed it! -- sexual assault.

[–]nuesuh 118 points119 points  (4 children)

More like fraud... I don't see how this is sexual assault.

[–]Hydris 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Because telling a women you are wearing a condom and having sex with her when you aren't wearing one can get you arrested for rape.

[–]Temuzjin 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It's a bit of a stretch, but you could make the case that women are so terrified of sexual assault because it may force them to have a child against their will. Well, this too forces someone to have a child against their will.

Viewed in this light, you could see "oops I forgot my pill and got pregnant, tee hee" as sexual assault too.

[–]Peter_Principle_ 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Only if you expect feminists to be consistent.

[–]2Overkillengine 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I expect them to consistently try to screw men over, regardless of facts or reason.

[–]Peter_Principle_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I expect you to not be disappointed with that expectation.

[–]25russianbear25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

so much equality around us!

[–]bacdafucoff 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That is some crazy value.

It's hilarious he wouldn't put his dick in her. It scandalous what she did and it's criminal what the court did.

That woman and judge should be facing some repercussions.

[–]TheRealMouseRat 10 points11 points  (2 children)

"All gone?"

"Aaaall goooone"

[–]darthskids 10 points11 points  (8 children)

At the point that that happens, off she goes to a shallow grave in the desert.

[–]ProspectiveQuant 3 points4 points  (7 children)

I always wonder how that doesn't happen more often...

At that point doesn't it make financial sense to pay some guys to take her out there?

And by pulling something like this I imagine it removes all negative feelings even a normal person might have for killing someone else.

I, personally, would not hesitate to higher some goons to make a woman disappear in such circumstances.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

This is the kind of thing you shouldn't say on the internet, or in public. It's okay to think it, but maybe not so safe to say it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Probably fine to say on the internet unless your reddit username is your full name.

[–]andres7832 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you wear a condom, just go to the sink, rinse it, toss in trash. You hate the smell of old condoms if she asks why, then start looking for someone else if she starts acting fishy...

[–]Nebulose11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If roles were reversed this would be called rape. A guy going down on a chick and spitting in a shot o'cum with the intent to get her pregnant. Especially if it's some other dudes seed.

[–]Neuermann 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

Well dear, when a woman loooves a man's money very much, but doesn't know how to make him stay with you, she squirrels him by storing his nut in your cheeks, then you take a test-tube and impregnate yourself. Then you wait two years and take the man to court.

[–]JohnnyElBravo 22 points23 points  (10 children)

This is like saying, don't get out of your house because you might get robbed or hit by a car. This is incredibly unlikely to happen, much more real dangers from unprotected blowjobs include: Herpes, hepatitis or straight up AIDS. So, either use a condom or be more selective. Women using your sperm for child support is the least of your issues.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

but...flush your condoms and get rid of the sperm

[–]MightyYetGentle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ill be doing this but still think this is gonna suck for a lot of plumbers. rip

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (5 children)

The likelihood of contracting HIV as the recipient of a blow-job is very low indeed. There's nearly no chance, although a more realistic figure is about 1 in 50,000 per blow-job, and that obviously only applies when the person giving has HIV. So, you need to be unlucky enough to first meet somebody who is HIV positive (1 in 100, probably less in developed parts of the world?), and then be unlucky enough to be infected (1 in 50,000ish).

Sperm-jacking should probably be higher on your list of concerns.

[–]holybad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

the likelihood of my school burning down was incredibly low too but that didn't stop the state from demanding a fire extinguisher be in every dam hallway and classroom now did it?

[–]fucktales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one gets AIDS from a blowjob. You're more likely to get struck by lightning twice right after winning the lottery.

[–]pcadrian 40 points40 points [recovered]

As a doctor, he can easily relocate to a different country, work there, and leave the bitch hanging.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 13 points14 points  (6 children)

He got hit for $800/month. For a working doctor, that's not atrocious, and almost certainly not worth expatriating.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Holy shit, maybe I've been working minimum wage for too long but $800 a month is fucking insane.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 8 points9 points  (4 children)

That's about 10 G's a year, or 15 G's before taxes. If you're a physician making $130,000, it's not the end of the world.

Now, if you're a minimum wage worker earning $25,000/year, losing 10 G's of that would be life-ending.

[–]199639 7 points8 points  (3 children)

That's not how MD's work at all dude. He would have to be accepted to a residency training program in the other country and complete years of training before being allowed to practice.

[–]ProspectiveQuant 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That is very weird. Why isn't an MD globally transferable?... Is medicine that different country to country?...

[–]Elodrian 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yes. For example, in England homeopathy works. That's why it receives government funding.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (9 children)

Do you have any idea what you are talking about?? the answer is no, just in case

and if you think this is either easy or logistically doable, please tell me how. wow.

[–]DannyDemotta 3 points4 points  (8 children)

Wow, indeed, what a useful fucking post. By you i mean.

I especially liked the part where you bothered to suggest he might be able to move to third-world countries A, B and C but that more Developed countries like X, Y, and Z wouldnt work because they wouldnt allow him to dodge US child support law.

Thank you for taking the time to do all that glorious research and not to just be a cunt.

[–]fukewe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah, Not so easy to do. He might be able to go to Canada but just beacuse you're a doctor doesn't mean you can just work in any country in the world

American citizen and Medical student in Sweden ;)

[–]Hamilton950B 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know a few people who were doctors in their native countries and are driving cab or similar in the US because the license to practice medicine does not transfer.

[–]razorwan 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This sounds weird-- I thought sperm die quickly in an environment like the mouth which is slightly acidic and has a number of enzymes working on it.

How could this have worked unless she like instantly spit it into a test tube?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The mouth is actually slightly alkaline

[–]Readleavesbluesguy 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Phillips sued Irons, claiming he has had trouble sleeping and eating and has been haunted by “feelings of being trapped in a nightmare,” court papers state. Irons responded that her alleged actions weren’t “truly extreme and outrageous” and that Phillips’ pain wasn’t bad enough to merit a lawsuit. The circuit court agreed and dismissed Phillips’ lawsuit in 2003.


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Goddamn this makes me want Vasalgel ASAP.

Or perhaps I should just get snipped... Not really my favorite option.

[–]bea5tly 9 points10 points  (18 children)

Vasectomy is key. Never trust a women with birth control. And if you use condoms make sure to rinse them out in the sink afterwards and take them with you. The laws are to shitty against males you need to take precautions.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (9 children)

you do know many condoms come with spermacide right?

They do a pretty good job of killing them

[–]grewapair 2 points3 points  (3 children)

you do know many condoms come used to come with spermacide right?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

you can't buy it in a tube anymore, or have the condom pre lubed?

Don't make me feel old, why in gods name would they not be available. I can pick them up like that, but the handful at work if I want

[–]grewapair 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You can still buy it in a tube, but it irritates the vaginal lining causing more urinary tract infections and a higher rate of transmission of STDs, particularly AIDS.

So the condom manufacturers all dropped it, in spite of the fact that the studies that pounded it were from prostitutes using it many times per day. I think there was also an issue that it didn't really make much difference in contraception. They were originally added because it was thought they protected against HIV, but that turned out not to be the case.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whatever. I eat gluten, I like saturated fats, and I won't worry about simple shit.

If it's available, use it. it's there for a reason. If the girl you're with gets irritation because you're jon #5 that day, then it's not my problem

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]phillip42069 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I usually use a mixture of bleach and ammonia. Bleach does the job though

[–]Enchantelope 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Bleach and ammonia gives you the authentic smell of WW1 trench warfare.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Adding tabasco or bleach is a pretty good safeguard. If you are just going out the door and you see your girl running past you down the street naked and yelling, it should give you a clue.

[–]OrpheusV 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use flashbang hot sauce, it's really more effective (shit's like 10x hotter than ghost peppers)

[–]my_sfw_alias 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Or just be poor. Aint nobody trying to steal my little guys for a nonexistant paycheck.

[–]JerkyMcGee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I didnt even know this was possible. I thought that once sperm was exposed to air and a certain temperature that it starts to die.

[–]3rt41 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a myth that will put you in trouble. Sperm is a bitch.

[–]1Sir_Distic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Vasectomy. Winning all the way down her throat.

[–]RedSugarPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, I guess it's time to get comfortable with snowballing.

[–]shadowq8 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So a woman brought a life in this world through cheap methods, just to have child support...

I bet her kid is really gona love his/her mom.. WOW MOM YOU HAD ME THROUGH A BLOW JOB JUST SO YOU CAN GET PAYCHECKS ?

anyways anyone got sources on how authentic that story is?

[–]unassumingusername7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It'll be the first thing to come up if the kid ever Google's his mom's name.

[–]NineInchPitchfork 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This is an older case: Phillips v Irons, 883 N.E.2d 1151 (2005) that adopted a treatment of sperm as property approach. Many other courts have viewed this situation from a contractual perspective, i.e. did the man intend or risk that his sperm would be used for procreation? That approach leads to more favorable results for men, for example:


If you are concerned about this sort of thing, the use of a spermicide within the condom would assist. For blowjobs, I guess you could make sure she has a drink of some liquid prior to leaving your sight. Fuck Illinois and that stupid precedent.

[–]FarmerWolfie 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Illinois. Explains everything. She bought the verdict. Probably had to suck some more cock for best results.

[–]MisterMojoMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know society is in deep shit when actual news stories start to become confused with The Onion news stories.

[–]xaphody 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should be considered rape. He didn't give consent!

[–]theobro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of my worst nightmares.

[–]squirtmasterd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn't she maintain that they also had sex, and that the child was convinced normally?

[–]MrShoeguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If the sperm was a gift then it was her sperm, which makes her the father. But who gives a fuck?

[–]foldpak111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That description is the reason I give up.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (9 children)

It's a good story, and a worst case scenario.

Keep in mind, this is the top 1% of crazy, and no one in here will experience anything like this. More likely, you'll get your very standard hypergamy... By nature, women are not going to go too far outside the norm. It's a good story to knock your unicorn off it's pedestal, but I would probably not use this example for your MAP.

The lesson here is solid, do your due diligence. The example? Not so much.

remember, IUD's are there, and they are hands down, the closest you get to the snip. No forgotten pills, no muted mood swings based on the pill, basically removing human error

[–]RageLife 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Keep in mind, this is the top 1% of crazy, and no one in here will experience anything like this.

Don't we have like 100,000 users on this subreddit or something?

I think someone in here might experience something like this.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I think someone in here might experience something like this.

I did with one of my first serious gf's, back when I used to think that was a good idea

I fucked her in the ass one day after class, went home. The next day she's happy and tells me like it's a funny story how she waited for some cum to come out of her ass so she could put it in her pussy and we could have a baby

from that day forth, I knew bitches be cray.

[–]2Overkillengine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus, weapons grade crazy. High risk of getting a UTI or worse doing that just to try baby trapping someone.

[–]OrpheusV 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't we have like 100,000 users on this subreddit or something

Top 0.1% might be realistic, I don't think AWALT applies as much here, this is some next-level shit. Actually, it does. I rescind the previous statement about that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 in a million. You can win big putting all your money on 00 in roulette, doesn't mean it's smart to plan for it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

no one in here will experience anything like this

i did, i wrote it in the other reply to you

you may not experience my story or the OP story, but the point is they will do some crazy shit at some point which will blow your mind and take you by surprise if you're not expecting it. Whether it's claiming rape, trying to say she was hit by you, poking holes in condoms, etc

They do insane shit. AWALT

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, a worse case scenario. I've seen my share of crazy, but this is an outlier, or it wouldn't be news.

Take heed, take precautions, but the guys in here talking about bleaching their condoms are missing the point, just CYA

[–]lantern55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck no, don't give them any ideas

[–]AaronKClark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or just get a vasectomy. Problem Solved.

[–]BlackHeart89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently started this thing where I tell women I just stock on the weekends and go to school.

The reason for this is because I don't want them thinking, "Ooooh. He has money! Beta bucks potential!"

Its brand new, so I don't know how it'll work for me given my situation.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And now I'm an incel again, this time by choice.

[–]valtazar 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I once heard something similar happened to some NBA player on All-Star Weekend. They've done the deed, he dropped the condom in the bin and walked away. Woman took the condom from the bin, extracted the sperm, took it to a fertility clinic and you can guess the rest of the story. Gold-digging bitch got off scot-free, of course. It wasn't an isolated case either. It went that far that the League had to issue a warrning for players to flush the used condom down the toilet after one night stands on the road. This fucking world...

[–]bluedrygrass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's like the most retarded sentence i think i've ever heard of.

Like, i don't even, uh... what the actual fuck?! It breaks like a gazillion ethical stances.

The judge that came out with that monstruosity would easily find a way to demonstrate right all the most devious things that happened in history, Mao, Pol Pot, the nazis. Easy stuff, compared to this one, on the logical plane.

After this, there's nothing true, and nothing false. Seriously, if you can spin around facts, rights, centuries of legal and human common sense like that, nothing is true anymore, and nothing is false.

"The sleep of reason produces monsters."

[–]bama79rolltide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My father has paid over $100,000 in tax free money in child support.

Had my vasectomy last Easter weekend. No kids for this guy.

[–]Sour_J 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why not just flush the condom down the toilet?

[–]Hamilton950B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is apparently not a very good doctor, has one-star reviews: healthgrades.com

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