Red Pill TheoryYour Brand of Alpha (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil

Couple years back when I was still an undergrad in university I had an Italian friend named Constantino who was in the U.S on a student visa finishing up his PHD. Constantino was very passionate about food, he was passionate about food in the same way that South American men are passionate about Soccer. If the subject of conversation ever turned to food, which it always did, he would get Italian loud and wave his hands in the air with excitement.

Constantino met a girl named Ashley on campus, did the generic coffee first date and then invited her over to his place for his homemade risotto. Obviously, for a 21 year old girl, this is a substantial departure from the standard American college dating protocol. However, no woman is going to say no to: "If you do not come you will die not knowing the taste of true Italian cooking."

So Ashley shows up at Constantino's house ready to be fed. Constantino gets all of the necessary ingredients and then tells her to dice an onion. As most of you know, twenty year old American women are clueless in the kitchen. Their mothers were too busy being strong and independent to teach them anything of value. Ashley has no clue how to dice an onion so instead she pulls out her phone and begins finger fucking it. When American girls can't handle a situation they bury their faces in their phones like an ostrich.

Nothing can get in the way of Constantino and his cooking, not even american female mediocrity. "How can a grown woman not know how to chop an onion? This is a travesty!" Constantino levels the bitch out for not knowing how to chop an onion. Then he teaches her how to chop an onion. Then forces her to practice chopping onions, as Constantino sees it: for her own good and for the good of her future children. Which is to say Ashley got hit with raw European patriarchy.

That night Ashley had sex with Constantino and a couple of months later she became his girlfriend. Why? Because passion, decisiveness, and confident male leadership are a huge turn on for women. So what's the moral of the story? Should I publish a Pick Up Artist book called Constantino's Italian Sex Method with a full chapter titled the Onion Neg, so that a bunch of 18 year olds can follow a script in the hopes of getting laid?

No, because that's retarded as fuck. Women are attracted to masculine traits. They don't care how those traits are exhibited as long as they are exhibited. If you are passionate, confident, and have vision, women will find a way to fuck you. If you imitate those attributes without actually possessing them, women will see through your bullshit and avoid you like a used tampon.

There are infinite ways to get laid. I do it by being a Siberian Muscle God. Constantino does it by being an Italian Kitchen Emperor. You have to find what works for you through painful trial and error. No one can give you a vagina formula, because it doesn't exist. Sorry AskTRP. We can only point you in the general direction and tell you to go figure it out, stop being a bitch, and for the love of Siberian Muscle God, go lift.

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[–][deleted] 323 points324 points  (24 children)

I am the captain of a 56 foot sailboat that takes American tourist girls sailing and snorkeling. I get laid by being a Salty Pirate King. Just find your niche.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 153 points154 points  (1 child)

I salute you Salty Pirate King

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think we are going to get dozens of "real men of genius" commercials out of this.

[–]antariusz 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Well, and of course you have the implication working for you.

[–]unassumingusername7 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The implication that something could happen. It won't, of course, but there's the implication.

[–]venturebrotato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But, it sounds like these girls don't want to have sex woth you

[–]2rp_valiant 50 points51 points  (8 children)

is that because at the end of the trip they get to taste your Salty Pirate Batter?

I couldn't resist.

[–]Philhelm 35 points36 points  (1 child)

No, they guzzle his rum to the last drop.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (3 children)

He even checks their poop deck.

[–]2rp_valiant 9 points10 points  (2 children)

he'll pillage their booty, alright. Pillage it good.

[–]Sdom1 6 points7 points  (1 child)

They walk the plank and fall right onto his dick.

[–]nechoha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Willing to learn your story Salty Pirate King

[–]thedeathofgod 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously why is Saltypirateking not your username?! Truly a missed opportunity.

[–]Clackaroo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Nice. In a tropical island chain, or what?

[–]Philhelm 3 points4 points  (1 child)

American tourist girls? Probably crab fishing off the coast of Alaska.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can't say there are no crabs involved.

[–]DeltaRecon2552 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So mine is leading girls out into the wilderness, teaching them to build a fire and cook various treats under the stars... The Appalachian Mountain Man? Haha

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 77 points78 points  (12 children)

This is why I'm annoyed at the adulation of "Chad Thundercock." It has become a played out ideal. Chad only fits in a box, and if you strive to be like Chad, so do 100 more guys who have seen American Pie. I'm not saying there aren't real Chads out there, but there are many who strive to be like him, and if you weren't meant to be Chad, stop playing Chad's game because you will lose at it. Constantino was never meant to be Chad.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 121 points122 points  (5 children)

Anyone who has watched Gordon Ramsay knows that you can be Alpha as fuck baking pies. There are a lot of different brands of Alpha out there. What's frustrating is everyone is trying to be this sleazy night club player and that shit was stale as fuck in 2009.

[–]tautologicoxymoron 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Truth. The only thing that's the same for all the different (probably infinite) Alpha archetypes is that Alphas don't give a shit what others think about the. Everything else can be deduced from that IDGAF axiom.

[–]Redasshole 12 points13 points  (1 child)

In high school, I fucked a girl by being so passionate about maths. Then, I had a threesome with her and one of her friends who became my girlfriend.


[–]-Quotidian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even on TRP there's an 80/20 split, but this divide is comprised of newbs, GRONK!s, spergs, and people who struggle (about 80) and the rest who get this shit, apply it, and continue learning and growing (little under 20).

For some people the sidebar and TRP Handbook are enough. Or they go to other sites and get information there, like Illimitable's list of 10 books for men. For everyone else, some stumbling and hand-holding is inevitable.

[–]1Snivellious 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Constantino, notably, wasn't even setting his heart on getting laid. He didn't need abundance mentality, he just cared far more about cooking dinner than how his hookup was going.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Chad Thundercock represents the mindless zen aspect of being alpha. Chad simply IS alpha by being Chad. He's devoid of all personality except liking sports and getting ass. An intelligent alpha with a personality and cunning mind has a thousand fold advantage over any Chad. The problem is most intelligent people think themselves into betahood now a days. It's a balance between listening to your biological imperatives while also sharpening your mind.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Chad Thundercock is what's known as an archetype. Look it up. James Bond is an archetype. Sherlock Holmes is an archetype. They are all masculine archetypes with attributes just like Chad. Don't throw around words like projecting if you don't know what you're talking about.

[–]CisWhiteMaelstrom 144 points144 points [recovered]

Women these days really don't know how to cook. I recently had a chick over and cooked her a steak. She asked me how I did it, as if steaks are hard to cook, and I told her with a straight face that you just put it in the microwave for ten minutes before putting it on a skillet. She actually ended up taking my advice and called me back asking why her steak came out like shit.

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (24 children)

It goes beyond not knowing how to cook. Most women don't have the faintest idea about nutrition. They get fatter and fatter as they age and blame it on their metabolism. No, its because the most exercise you get is walking to your desk from your car, and you think that eating a salad covered in cheese and ranch dressing is somehow low calorie. These slam pigs eat out for every meal, and trust me, they aren't just ordering black coffee at their daily starbucks visit.

[–]Avedas 45 points46 points  (19 children)

Yeah, that's not limited to women. Anyone who's not in a gym probably doesn't have the slightest clue of what they should be eating.

[–]Tom_The_Human 65 points65 points [recovered]

Anyone who's not in a gym probably doesn't have the slightest clue of what they should be eating.

Along with a lot of the people in them.

[–]Avedas 7 points8 points  (1 child)

For sure, I'm one of them. Still plenty to learn and experiment with to find the best results.

[–]drallcom3 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I had almost one year of no progress in the gym because of wrong nutrition. Now my progress is amazing.

[–]SwallowRP 20 points20 points [recovered]

shut up I love my dirty bulk period

[–]yaboimoneymitch 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Dirty bulk more like forever bulk

[–]Myrpl 12 points13 points  (8 children)

And don't get me started on how some colleagues of mine suggested that it's "luxury" for someone to go to a gym. LUXURY.

Of course they're all married and beta to the fucking bone.

[–]SocialJusticeWhiner 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Fuck man. You're too fucking right. I heard this line of bullshit with my first serious job. These people don't understand that the gym isnt a luxury, that exercise and reinvestment in yourself is necessary in order to operate optimally. Fuck everything if you're not happy and moving forward.

[–]Ovadox 12 points13 points  (4 children)

If it's that expensive go for a run and do some push-ups. It's amazing the lengths people will go to rationalize being lazy.

[–]haxurmind 8 points9 points  (2 children)

If it's that expensive go for a run and do some push-ups.

I took up metal detecting/prospecting, not as grandeur as lifting weights in a gym but I get a different kind of workout waving a metal coil over the ground and digging holes. An upfront expense on a good detector of course but after that no ongoing gym membership fees.

The rest of the benefits are the same as a solo one day long bush walking trip; good scenery, fresh air, serenity, time away from the Internet and all attached distractions and of course a reasonable amount of exercise.

The possibility of finding the elusive metal, with a little research and a lot of luck, and yielding economical gains is also a welcome bonus. I might invest in a camera one day though, to come back with photos rather than empty handed on days where the yellow metal proves too elusive.

[–]Ovadox 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Sounds cool. I bet approaching girls on the beach with a metal detector in hand would be fun. Interesting way to figure out if they have any uh, unique piercings.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nah they would probably think youre some type of nerd unless youre doing it shirtless with a six pack and popping delts

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in between locations right now and I'm not shelling out for a membership I can only use for 20 days. I've used the time away from the gym to rekindle my running habit, which i honestly should have been doing anyways, and thrown in some bodyweight stuff.

[–]1Snivellious 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gyms are expensive, fine. I'm willing to pay for that shit, but if you can't or don't that's not a fucking excuse. A set of barbells or a $20 slegehammer can make you look better than half the people in your average gym, all from the comfort of your home.

If you care enough to be fit, you will end up fit. Simple as that.

[–]mugatucrazypills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

being alive is a luxury they can't afford

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Salad with ranch. I used to cringe in college when a girl would order that. You're thin now, but that shit will catch up to you

[–]Boovs4life 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My friend was actually pretty skinny but he used to order a salad and put 7 of those ranch cups on his salad. It was fucking disgusting. I always asked him if he was gonna put some salad in that ranch and he'd just laugh. He's skinny now but it will catch up to him.

[–]yentar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus christ man that is so ruthless and beautiful and accurate

[–]Sdom1 12 points13 points  (8 children)

They're not hard to cook, but to cook an incredible steak, the kind where a real adult goes, "how the hell did you do that?" takes some knowledge.

[–]nillotampoco 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I find that after you put your best effort in, the limiting factor is the quality of the meat.

Which is why I cook the greatest Chicken Fried Steak because I select a package of New York Strip and have them tenderize it behind the counter instead of the dog food which is already tenderized in the package.

[–]SouthernPetite 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Have you tried marinating it in buttermilk?

[–]nillotampoco 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes! Never more than a couple hours though, how long do you marinate yours?

[–]Sdom1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's a waste of strip. The whole point of chicken fried steak is to make use of a cheap cut. There are a couple of easy ways to tenderize, but one is to salt the meat with kosher salt (not the table salt with added iodine) a day before you cook. The salt will slowly penetrate the meat, seasoning it, and will also cause the proteins in the meat to change structure, making them softer.

[–]nillotampoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I taste a huge difference and the cheap cuts are always so thin you overcook the steak by the time you get the flour golden.

Bad meat plus good prep = good steak, good meat plus good prep = better steak.

[–][deleted] 16 points16 points

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[–]yaardi 10 points11 points  (4 children)

My ex (with whom I lived) did this. No matter what she cook afterwards the kitchen looked like someone threw a grenade in there.

[–]ColdEiric 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I think every girl 'grenades' the room she is in.

The difference is that girls who feel that they know or have met or are with an alpha, they makes sure that they undo the 'damages of the grenades' for fear of losing the alpha.

[–]alanthemanofchicago 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Exactly. Especially if it's your place she is visiting (not moved in or recently moved in). I chalk it up as the origin of the "Bobby pins EVERYWHERE/Clogged drain/Lotion bottles/Pillows out the ass" tropes - her trying to claim the territory.

[–]ColdEiric 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A man's left-hand ring finger is to women, what a woman's virginity is to men. I've heard too much talk about 'He had a naked left hand'.

And I'm sure that women try to leave other marks signaling to competitors that 'He is mine!' on men they like.

[–]1Snivellious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could give a shit how much of a mess gets made as long as I don't have to clean it up. Don't break anything, produce something good, and clean the fuck up.

[–]SouthernPetite 8 points9 points  (16 children)

The perfect test is to watch their reaction after asking them to put a caste-iron skillet in the dishwasher.

...you wouldn't let her actually do it, though...obviously.

[–]rpscrote 14 points15 points  (5 children)

to be fair most people, even those who cook, don't use cast iron much these days. I know the protocols but I never use it because its a pain in the ass

[–]Sdom1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Like so many old-fashioned things, cast iron is making a comeback. Once you get the hang of it, they are a great cooking surface. Like a lot of old fashioned stuff, though, you have to know what you're doing, especially in regards to care and maintenance. Sometimes I think that people now are weaker and less thoughtful because technology has made shit too easy, but that's a thought for another time.

[–]SouthernPetite 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Really? It's still pretty standard where I live.

[–]HellbillyDeluxe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here. Lodge brand is the classic go to. Mine was one of my grandmothers old skillets.

[–]MadeSomewhereElse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

South in username, story checks out

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Ive never used a cast iron skillet before, what are the advantages over a teflon pan?

[–]SouthernPetite 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It maintains even heat better, gets up to a higher heat, if properly maintained is basically stick-proof and requires less fat/oil, cheaper, lasts longer, boosts iron intake, and you're not eating bits of whatever they coat other pans with if that's a concern for you.

They are slightly more complicated to clean, but it's not that that big of a deal if you know what you're doing and don't let everything crustify before you try to clean it.

[–]1Snivellious 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Cast iron is genuinely different to cook on for two reasons.

  • First, it's thick and monometallic, so it'll heat up evenly and won't cool down no matter what you throw in. Great for frying and searing.

  • Second, seasoning. A new cast iron pan isn't special. When you cook with it, though, you don't wash it clean. You just wipe out any food residue and get it hot enough to sanitize. With every use, it builds up a layer of seasoning that's basically cooked-sanitary fat and oil. This adds flavor to everything you make, producing some of the best blackened steaks and fish I've ever had. If you make similar dishes (all American, all Italian, whatever) repeatedly, it'll build up trace spices in line with what you cook, too, flavoring everything further.


  • Not dishwasher safe, soaking safe, or steelwool safe

  • Shit will stick to it, and given the above, you can't get it off

  • Needs regular care (baking it at high heat with oil, mostly)

  • Usage history affects future results - don't make spicy Thai and expect your burgers to come out the same.

That's a bigass list of drawbacks, but they're still way worth it. It's not better for your convenience, but it will actually produce better food.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

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[–]1Snivellious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've never used one of these suckers on a stubborn dish? Not on Teflon obviously, but on other badly stuck-on bits of food.

[–]Sdom1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The biggest advantage, which has been touched on already, is heat retention. Basically, because the iron is so thick, heavy, and dense, it takes a lot of heat energy to bring it up to temp. Now, what hasn't been explained is WHY that matters.

When you are going to sear a protein in a pan, if the pan isn't at a certain temp when the protein hits, and doesn't stay above that temp, the protein will stick and bond with the metal, and then you've ruined dinner. When the temp stays above a certain point, the water on the surface of the protein will vaporize instantly, temporarily creating a tiny empty zone between protein and pan. Meanwhile, the proteins on the surface get blasted by heat and curl up and tighten, creating the crust on the meat or fish that tastes so fucking good AND helps prevent it from sticking to the pan.

Now, remember that your protein is generally cold or room temp when it hits the hot pan, so it will draw heat energy out of the pan, bringing down its temp. If you have lots of heat energy in the metal, like cast iron does, that's not an issue. But if you are using something cheap and it's only holding a little bit, that will drop your temp and cause bonding. That's why restaurants have giant fucking burners, so their cheap pan won't drop temp.

The other benefit is what's called the pan's seasoning. Basically, when you first get it, you brush layers of oil into it and heat it, forming a naturally nonstick polymer layer that many consider a healthier, more natural alternative to teflon. Let's be clear, though, it's not nearly as nonstick as teflon is.

[–]-TempestofChaos- 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I fucking cringed on the inside.

Although, apparently some soap and a dishrag won't remove the built-up polymers.

[–]SouthernPetite 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've been told that, so I gave it a whirl, but didn't like the results. Kosher salt and a soft sponge works fine for me.

[–]mugatucrazypills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you're being abusive to meat.

[–]RedditArgument 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have actually once had a girl invite me over to dinner and have no fucking clue as to what she was doing. It was her first month out of mama's house and I guess her dear mother didn't decide to teach her a thing.

I had to help this girl cook the complicated combination of:

  • Linguine

  • Ground beef

  • Some cheese pasta sauce (store bought)

Like this is the kind of shit you could learn from watching a cooking show... once. YA STICK THE STUFF IN A PAN ON THE STOVE DARLING.

What the fuck would she have done if I hadn't shown up? Microwave ground beef and eat it? Ironically I had her pinned as a clever girl before this.

(This wasn't even in America)

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 45 points46 points  (2 children)

IMAO this is one of your best articles GLO.

The RP freshmen who want a step-by-step guide on exactly how to be alpha are missing the forest for the trees.

A good example is the guy on Reddit who got laid at a party because he could solve a Rubik's cube in 30 seconds. The Rubik's cube is not the point; TRP isn't going to tell everyone to go lift AND learn to solve a Rubik's cube. The point is the badassery, the intense focus, and the confidence that comes with skill and mastery.

That being said, Constantino had some serious game. "If you do not come you will die not knowing the taste of true Italian cooking." Perfect amount of dramatic flair to push a woman over the edge.

[–]Redasshole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In martial arts there is a saying which goes something like "master one way and you've mastered all the ways". It doesn't matter wich path you choose to follow. Master it, period.

[–]babybopp 18 points19 points  (1 child)

As most of you know, twenty year old American women are clueless in the kitchen. Their mothers were too busy being strong and independent to teach them anything of value.

never has a truer word be spoken..

[–]Redasshole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know man..."don't get married" seemed pretty cool to me too...and all this gorgeous sidebar..

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Classic onion neg. Onion neg is my go-to when I take girls home from the club. Onion Neg is the ultimate deal sealer. If you don't keep a sweet yellow onion next to your condoms and lube you're doing it wrong. Onion Neg for the win everytime.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (5 children)

"If you do not come you will die not knowing the taste of true Italian cooking."

Boy, that line melted my panties, and I'm not even wearing any!

Authentic Italian pizza is so much nicer than the crap from Dominoes, and I love that crap.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

My girlfriend and II did the pizza from the Food Tube video I linked. The key is to make your own tomatoe sauce.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I agree, passata is so flavourful, unlike store bought sauce. It's actually surprising how nice the garlic bread you can make with just the pizza base, some mozarella, garlic and olive oil is, maybe some parmesan for good measure.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sauce is so easy to make. Just cut up some tomatoes add salt, garlic olive oil and whatever spices you like. Then bake that shit for two hours. Then run it through a blender.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, but I meant garlic bread, it's the starter or side made with a baguette topped with cheese and garlic, it's even nicer on a fresh pizza base instead.

[–]analredemption12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this is where I've been going wrong.. It always seemed like something was missing. That and a stone oven.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (11 children)

Someone needs to write the Onion Neg.

[–]Mouthpiece 66 points67 points  (3 children)

"You chop onions so poorly, it makes me want to cry."

Yeah, that sucks.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"I don't think it's the onions that's making you cry, I think it's actually the fact you know how bad your chopping is" - use a cocky/funny vibe and you're golden.

[–]87GNX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is gonna be a CH post in about 3 weeks.

GLO's story is one for Aesop's red pill fables.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I've never been a muscle god, but stay lean and fairly ripped year round.. The lean look seems to work well for me..

Being big into motorcycle doesn't hurt.. Don't need to go out for a fancy dinner, just pop em on the back and burn up the backroads..

Works everytime half the time

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I heard that last part in Bryan fantana's voice.

Which is why I upvoted.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

paraphrasing Pook: "Women do not see guys, they see worlds."

"It is the world the girls are after."

paraphrasing Krauser: "Girls are life-tourists: they sail into your harbor and look around and see what it's like."

"You don't have to be the same race, be in the same subculture, or even be her type - a girl will have sex with you if she likes your identity, your character."

[–]Schrodingersdawg 54 points55 points  (16 children)

Can confirm. For me, my "brand" is the iron temple. I'm horrible in party environments. For some reason, whenever I talk to a girl at a party, I'm told I give off a creeper vibe. My frat buddies at the parties have no idea what I'm doing wrong, but I'd guess it's probably the tone of my voice or something really subtle that only women pick up on.

But outside parties - Once you hit a certain look due to years of workouts, every girl you talk to will ask if you're an athlete or something. For any guy who has any sort of athletic background, I would recommend making this your thing.

Met a girl last week, "oh schrodingersdawg, can you be my workout buddy? I've been meaning to get into shape". Worked out the next day, had her naked in my bed that night wanting the D. Didn't smash for personal reasons, but it's kinda crazy how easy it is once you get good at something.

I'm nowhere near competition shape. But as we entered the gym, I sat with her and poured my pre-workout as she registered. Used a teaspoon, to mix together some other ingredients for a small sandwich. It was all very precise and calculated. What kinda guy measures out the exact amount of peanut butter for his sandwiches? Someone who cares about his bodybuilding.

It's all about how much you know, or how much you appear to know.

Teaching a girl to bench, to squat, you critique her form. You are the master, teaching a student ignorant of the world. That's power. Bitches love power.. You can get kino in really easily when you tell her to really try to feel these muscles doing the work, to arch her back more, it's so easy.

And the negs, they come naturally. Girls don't know how to do jack shite. She'll fuck up just as all of us fucked up during our first time squatting or deadlifting. Make fun of them for it, and show them how to do it properly. GLO's buddy did that with onions, I tell them to stick their asses out more when they squat.

Not to mention, if you're at a university known for its academics, it's a huge contrast. Almost every other Asian guy here has biceps the size of my wrist, and when you don't fit into a stereotypical box, it confuses the shit outta women.

Bonus for being a gym-bro: squats can cause orgasms.

[–]Tom_The_Human 16 points17 points  (10 children)

What kinda guy measures out the exact amount of peanut butter for his sandwiches?

I do this...and I weigh the bread too.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (9 children)

Why the fuck would you weigh bread? the macros are listed per slice

[–]Tom_The_Human 14 points15 points  (7 children)

It's not accurate; I've noticed slices can be 5g either way of what it says (for seeded bread, that's ~15 calories either way per slice). Have 3/4 sandwiches a day and it adds up.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thats a lot of sandwiches bro

[–]simple_mech 13 points14 points  (4 children)

LMAO dude that's water. You think the calories change as the bread dries out? They know how much they put into the loaf.

Even if there's 15 calories difference; sometimes it's more sometimes it's less but it'll all even out at the end of the day.

[–]1ErasmusOrgasmus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This proves the point in the post about finding what works for you personally. If you don't mind taking bitches to your gym and spending your time teaching them shit - I couldn't stand it - and if you can make it translate into fucky fucky then all power to you.

But others should not read this as an automatically good strategy for anyone who goes to the gym. Every week I see a different guy bring a girl into the gym under the guise of a mentor/student relationship while it is blatantly obvious that he just wants to fuck her. And 9 times out 10 I would bet my house that he doesn't get the pussy. Usually guys fall into 1 of 2 categories of fail: (1) They thought just showing a girl that they lift, or how much they can lift, would get her into bed. It's idiotic because these guys are never even remotely close to being the strongest or biggest guys in the gym so even if that were valid it's counter productive from that point of view. And moreover a girl has no idea what it takes to bench 100kg because all she's done is practice with the bar so far, so she's not going to be impressed. Or (2) They are beta as fuck and are not using it as an opportunity to demonstrate attractive male characteristics, they are using it as a chance to do the girl a favour in return for which he will surely get some pity pussy. Guess again beta boy. It's pathetic and a waste of valuable gym time.

This isn't an attack on you or your method /u/Schrodingersdawg. If it works for you then all power to you. I'm just emphasising the point for any newbies reading around that it's not the context of lifting (or cooking Italian food) that is particularly important here, it's about mastering all the elements of the alpha mindset and behaviour and then finding the best way for you to communicate those attractive traits naturally.

[–]Schrodingersdawg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right. I swear to god if "weigh food in front of girls at the gym" becomes part of some game manual, I'll fucking off whoever stole it.

The entire time, all I did was teach and tease. Nothing to indicate sexual interest, but enough kino to cross her circuits.

[–]ColdEiric 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Met a girl last week, "oh schrodingersdawg, can you be my workout buddy? I've been meaning to get into shape". Worked out the next day, had her naked in my bed that night wanting the D. Didn't smash for personal reasons, but it's kinda crazy how easy it is once you get good at something.

Men need to be needed, and women need to be subservient to a man. And every 'useful' or 'respectable' guy is a guy who women listen to and obey. For them, it's all about getting the closest, best access to what she can get from Him.

[–]AntixD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the creepy vibe thing is probably in your head and it fucks with you when you make an open

[–]alphabeta49 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Best post of yours in a long time, GLO.

There was an askTRP post several months ago in which the guy apologized to us random internet strangers for being an artist or some shit, saying "I know its not manly." The fact is, it doesn't matter for shit what we choose to do; its the confidence, passion, vision, etc that we do it with that matters.

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points

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[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea the story is way funnier in person.

[–]Profdiddy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am the young, fit anatomy, micro and genetics prof getting by on wit, public performance and knowledge. I will go by Professor Dumbledong.

[–]DogInTheBath 12 points13 points  (4 children)

I am a plumber. I know a fair amount about water and natural gas.

One time I explained to my ex the method I use to size a water pipe to sufficiently serve a house with enough water without losing pressure when two showers and a kitchen were running water at the same time.

"You just got me really wet"

I was fucking dumbfounded.

[–]An_All-Beef_Engineer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was fucking dumbfounded.

Unwittingly, you were using analogies for your dick size. You're thinking pipes, she's thinking how you lay the pipe

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're lucky you didn't get one that went "STOP MANSPLAININ"

[–]Rasalom72 7 points8 points  (2 children)

And don't give any fucks about being to "nerdy/ geeky/ sporty/ rednecky/ whatever".. own that shit. Be the alpha in that group.

I've had girls hitting on me for wearing a video game T-shirt.

[–]Myrpl 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I think the important message here is: Be authentic, confident and outcome independent without concerning yourself with whether you're "acting alpha now or not".

It's like, remember when you gave a fuck about people's opinions to the point of supplicating them in order to do ok with them, and once you went TRP you began giving zero fucks and magically the people you meet respect you? Same deal. Once you start giving zero fucks whether you satisfy the "alpha group" requirements, you'll actually be alpha without realizing it.

[–]Rasalom72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

whether you're "acting alpha now or not".

Yup.. it shouldn't be an act either... don't bullshit it.

I wore a video game T because I wanted to and it was cool as hell, fuck what anyone else thinks...

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm scary muscle guy in a GTO that obviously builds everything and is not only good with his hands, but an expert with tools.

Fuck I am itching to have shit done so I can get off this extended monk required to build my home and shop. I need to build a fast as fuck car and bang some college girls in it.

[–]Buchloe 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That onion neg. Gets em so wet

[–]Morpheus-Man 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That onion neg

where can i read up on onion neg

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most cookbooks. It's not really a thing

[–]PedroIsWatching 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The level of quality in a GLO post is inversely proportional to the amount of shitty non-sequitor links contained within.

[–]tautologicoxymoron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved your post. Comedic gold. Stories like this make me happy that in Europe, things are not yet as fucked up as in the US.

[–]grewapair 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I had a long ago ex girlfriend tell me that she was teaching her daughter how to cook thanksgiving dinner and her daughter asked her if her mother had taught her that.

She said, nope, it was an ex boyfriend (me) who had taught it to her. When I met her, she couldn't boil water.

I did the same thing as Constantino. One date and then come to my place for dinner. She knows what's up for afterwards, and if she's not interested, neither am I, and I sure as hell am not spending a ton of money on restaurants for a kiss goodnight.

When she started pressuring me to get married, I nexted her. Sorry, but what are you bringing to the table? Oh a vagina, sorry, it's not worth half my income.

[–]apskidb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women are attracted to masculine traits. They don't care how those traits are exhibited as long as they are exhibited. If you are passionate, confident, and have vision, women will find a way to fuck you. If you imitate those attributes without actually possessing them, women will see through your bullshit and avoid you like a used tampon.

Bravo. Nailed it.

Ashley has no clue how to dice an onion so instead she pulls out her phone and begins finger fucking it.

Enjoyed this also.

[–]nantucketghost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (20 children)

Great post but I ain't buying your t-shirts as-is.

Make the logo smaller and offer them in black. Just my $0.02.

[–]Fetish_Goth 4 points4 points [recovered]

I bought the shirt in light grey and got it a few weeks ago. It fits nice because it's an America Apparel, but the logo wrinkles up and doesn't iron out very well... however, I've gotten a bunch of compliments on it and my physique when I've worn it. YMMV

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

American Apparel was the highest quality T Shirt blank I could find. The shirt is surprisingly warm for some reason and its also very soft not like a stiff Hanes Beefy. Hopefully the iron didn't deform the design.

Maybe try a gentler method:


[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 7 points8 points  (15 children)

They are available in black as well.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Can you have a version with a small logo on the upper left side for the older guys here?

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 12 points13 points  (7 children)

That's a great idea. My shirts were designed for my core demo which is college age men. A smaller logo would probably work better for older dudes.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Also consider having your webpage link a free article explaining the 3 heads. An older guy might find the explanation interesting- being able to explain what and why would go a long way

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

That's a good idea. My design is based on Titian's painting Allegory of Prudence. Which is about young men learning from the experience and mistakes of older men; TRP in a nutshell.

From the experience of the past, the present acts prudently, lest it spoil future actions

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember you mentioning the Allegory of Prudence. I looked it up right away. Of course, I'm the kinda guy that Wikipedias every movie after I've watched it.

For something similar, but different check out the 3 Metamorphoses of Nietzsche. Eliot Hulse also has a video on it

[–]AntixD 0 points1 point  (1 child)

would love one of these/hoodie

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[–]SW9876 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I'll buy that shirt one day. Are they going to be around for a while?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Great post. Granted, some passions convert into tingles more easily than others. On its own, only a handful of women could give two fucks about my ability to draft a compelling narrative. But on the other hand, I've put that skill set to great use for presenting my self as a compelling narrative instead.

[–]tyson2444 0 points1 point  (1 child)

But my passion lies in psychopharmacology... /=

[–]The_Man11 5 points6 points  (1 child)

There is a reason all the good chefs are men.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)


Let's not overestimate ok

[–]toughloveadvicegiver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quality post but I'll just say: "If you imitate those attributes without actually possessing them, women will see through your bullshit and avoid you like a used tampon."

More like, quality women will do this. You can get plenty of success in the bedroom with bimbos by faking it until you make it. But settling for that grade of women says something about yourself.

But yeah, none of this matters because the purpose of your post is clear.

[–]Sdom1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If the subject of conversation ever turned to food, which it always did, he would get Italian loud and wave his hands in the air with excitement..."How can a grown woman not know how to chop an onion? This is a travesty!"

But..But..people here always say that an alpha has to be a flinty faced stoic who never gets excited, pissed off or emotionally invested in anything! Don't you know that's what a real alpha is?


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get it. Why did you put /sarcasm?

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]LeFlamel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, I actually heard that Gandhi was kind of a dick to those that were close to him. And regardless of his empathy, Jesus had undeniable charisma, called himself the literal son of God, and had social proof from all the dumb desert hicks that "saw" his miracles. If you ran a frat and were throwing a party for all the incoming freshman girls and you had the whole crew telling awesome stories about you, even if you were overly nice you would probably still get laid.

[–]An_All-Beef_Engineer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

can you then Alpha by being an extremely nice and supplicating person?

If your smv is much higher than your audience. Chris Brown can still cause widespread moistness while being extremely nice and supplicating. On the other hand with low smv although someone may have the highest level of empathy, this is what they would be like.

I mean, not that I'm very religious, but...

Why the apology? It is not yet a felony to have a religious belief.

the story goes that the guy didn't even give a shit about being tortured and killed, he was just doing his thing. Talk about not giving many fucks.

The story goes that he didn't sleep the night before, but had the last supper, and had a chat with Judas. Stumbled several times while carrying the cross he would be crucified on.

Talk about not giving many fucks. Or is that giving all the fucks?

To die for people who don't exist yet, who will be ashamed you existed? Yeah, that's probably all that could be given. Read your bible again for yourself man, it's totally different after you've been through the sidebar.

[–]tenor11 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I've been lurking around here for a few months trying to follow some basics (build career, pursue hobbies, lift) and trying to employ anything that could make me seem alpha. This right here really clicked with me. Great read.

[–]An_All-Beef_Engineer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Wouldn't doing those things actually benefit you?

[–]caucasianinasia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in Vietnam. The scooter I was riding and packing my Vietnamese girl friend died on a shitty rainy night. I figured it was the float bowl sticking. So i dropped the scooter on it's side and kicked it in the area of the carb. Picked it back up and it started and ran fine after that. Had a good time later that night.

[–]Alexfortomorrow 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Italian here, can confirm. AMA.

Nice contribution anyway, totally agree.

[–]iagovar 2 points3 points  (6 children)

As an spaniard, I would say that having no kitchen skills is not very acceptable in southern Europe. I found it a bit childish, and probably most people too.

[–]Alexfortomorrow 4 points5 points  (4 children)


Agreed, not being able to cook a decent meal is plain terrible imho.

Hell, not even for others, one should learn and be able to do it for himself! A man that can't cook is not a man by definition (no offense to all you TRPbros who can't cook).

[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 1 point2 points  (6 children)

A fucking awesome meal to make and easy as fuck is butter chicken curry with Brown Rice, I used to make this all the time for girls and they thought I was a cooking God. It's literally chicken, butter chicken pre made packet and tomato paste.

I take pride in the kitchen. What are all your go to meals?

[–]Redsqa 3 points4 points  (1 child)

A quiche. It's ridiculously easy, and yet I've had american girls impressed with it. The ratio of taste and compliments / time and skills needed is maximal.

Quiche lorraine (5 minutes preparation)

  • Buy premade pastry.
  • Cover the pie plate, then use a fork to make tiny holes all over.
  • Sprinkle diced ham or sliced bacon (cook it if you want it to be crunchy).
  • Make a mix of half milk, half cream, 3-4 eggs, add salt and pepper.
  • Optional : Onion powder / grated cheese.
  • Pour the mix in the plate.
  • Bake at 200 C / 400F for 40 mins.

Done. This got me laid, twice. Kiss on beats, you might see a boob. Quiche one bitch, she won't need lube.

[–]drallcom3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They love it for the exotic name alone. Just "cook" something with an interesting name and you're golden.

[–]1aguy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a good grilled steak with some butter on top, baked potatoes, and mushrooms or steamed veggies. Women love to see a man grilling.

[–]Danedina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mexican. I live in Eastern Europe, so I can get by with just browning some ground beef with lots of onions and peppers, chopping up lettuce and tomatoes (sure, you can help!), and grating some cheddar. I warm the tortillas in a pan, set out sour cream and hot sauce on the table, and voila! Easy as fuck, different (for her), and even healthy.

[–]Sdom1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my single days, depended on the girl. If she was the all-American type, I would make a huge ribeye or strip steak (think 2'' thick) for us to share. I would salt it heavily a day in advance (radically improves taste and texture). Then, I would sear it in a pan in butter until it develops a nice dark brown crust, and then put it on a sheet with a wire rack in the oven at about 275F until it measured 130 - 35F. Takes about 40 minutes or so, but produces a steak that's butter tender, seasoned all the way through with an awesome crust. I got many "how the hell did you do this?" type remarks.

Make a bearnaise sauce, green salad and some sort of fancy potato dish, and you're set.

If she's a lighter eater, I would make gnocchi or ravioli from scratch. Serve with some veggies and a good bread and butter/olive oil and lots of wine.

Game, set, match. Bitches LOVE it when you have mad skills.

[–]mugatucrazypills 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I hate that I can only upvote this once.

[–]FirstnameLastnamePKA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lost my shit at "Siberian Muscle God". This is a great fucking post, bravo.

[–]Snakehips0815 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post! I'm a storyteller. Everything reminds me of something that happened once even if it doesn't relate to the situation. It doesn't always get me laid, but it does get the attention of everyone in earshot.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is the definition of setting THE FRAME: you pull the girl into YOUR world.

[–]moose_war 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted a similar thread months ago that got deleted and censored by the mods, but it basically said the same thing, although I phrased it differently so maybe people misunderstood and got upset.

But basically, don't just ape the caricature of Chad to try and get laid. Become masculine and dominant but do it in your niche, in the way you like.

[–]someboringdude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hands down your best article.These guys get so caught up on becoming "chad" that they forget there is more than one kind of Alpha.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This post is a great reminder for the kids who havent lernt this fully yet ( like me)

You just havent found your niche yet. Keep on plowing threw till you do

[–]adamlikesprettygirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brilliant! I'll have to remember this post!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I´ve been doing this for a bit, a Ginger with a nice haircut tends to be one of the best looking people in the room.

[–]pilly_willy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a fan of your tshirts but I wish I had three hands so I could give this post three thumbs up

[–]1RXRob 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm the grapple king.

I've dated every woman in the company I wrestle for. I expect them to able be to give and take the same as a man does in training. I have kicked two of them in the face (training is for fucking up) and still got a kiss goodbye at the end of the session.

Also, preselection is my friend.

[–]StillThriving 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and this is why you're my favorite poster on here.

[–]Redasshole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which is to say Ashley got hit with raw European patriarchy.

As a European I do not understand this sentence. It's clearly for her own good that he would teach her that. Or maybe I'm taking things too seriously.

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