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When you stop putting women on a pedestal, not only will your life improve, you also quickly realize how boring they really are. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

[deleted]


[–][deleted] 571 points572 points  (42 children)

Before TRP: "Why can't I find a woman who likes me?"

After TRP: "Why can't I find a woman who I like?"

[–]Captain_Unremarkable 63 points64 points  (7 children)

Perhaps it's due to the nature of the Wall and fertility that women focus developmentally on sexuality attractiveness rather than actually having a personality and forming ideas. A lot of women demand being seen as more than sex objects when, in fact, that's precisely their biological prerogative. Genuinely interesting girls more often than not used to be of still are fat or ugly and learned how to be good people as compensation. (Of course, others just remain bitter.)

However, people in general are boring too, including men. People don't read. People instead watch TV and its copious advertisements. People follow trends. They engage in groupthink. They embrace the irrational and emotional rather than bring open minded and logical. Men just tend to be better at surrounding themselves with men of their own intellectual quality rather than similar attractiveness. That's the male prerogative.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (4 children)

I prefer the company of an average woman to an average man. At least I can fuck her.

[–]1freudianSLAP 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Those poor men you're neglecting, they have holes too!

[–]Captain_Unremarkable 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't say the average woman in my country is fuckable.

[–]human_bean_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Groupthink works. It does wonders. Most of human success can be attributed to politics. Making people like you is one of the most powerful things you can have in your arsenal. Being the same as others goes a long way in making people like you.

It's simple, yet effective. But for some reason I can't fathom some hipsters ignore this very powerful strategy. Maybe out of pride? I do now know.

[–]fingerthemoon 73 points74 points  (20 children)

So true. Now that the wool has been removed from my eyes and I see women for who they really are, I don't think I can ever fall in love again. But that's a good thing. Love is based upon delusion and illusion, an evolved chemical reaction to facilitate procreation and child rearing. I still love women but I'll never "fall" in love again.

I now realize I was projecting my fantasies upon women and seeing traits that simply weren't there. I'm approaching middle age and have been with around 50-60 women (lost count) and 4 LTR >2 yrs, so I have a lot of life experience to reflect upon. Looking back with a red lens everything makes perfect sense now.

I've also stopped looking for that perfect woman to settle down with. I'm less picky about personality traits and really only care about physical attraction and sex. In a way I've lowered my standards which opened up way more possibilities and I'm contented on my own for the first time in my life. I feel so free.

My life-long thirst for pussy and worship of the feminine has been the biggest source of pain I've known. I even put my music/art carrier on hold for a woman I almost married who later fucked me over (6+yrs). But thanks to her and the broken heart, I began trying to understand, which lead me to evolutionary psychology and eventually TRP.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Guys "fall" in love because they're walking around the edge of a giant ditch with a blindfold. TRP is the ladder that lets you climb down into the relationship and also out.

[–]OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn't have said it better.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Projection is the key word in your incredibly insightful comment. I am doing a lot of research into the power of projection, why it happens, how to discern projection from reality. I think this needs deeper treatment on TRP, especially for the newbies. I still do it all the time (project X onto Y). I'm not sure there's anything I can do about it. The only difference is to develop the discipline to analyze what it is you actually see in a woman. Once you get rigorous, the, well depressing, thing is that you realize how much we/i/you conflate longing with the actual qualities she possesses. The problem is in the longing.

[–]1freudianSLAP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cultivating an awareness through meditation can help. A lot of projection are snap judgments that you're not even aware of, but something as simple as paying attention to your breath passing through your nose can make it obvious how much the mind wanders. So much time you spend thinking and analysing without actually being in control of said thought processes.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Yeah, I don't see how men could ever marry a woman. It seems a lot of men are weak, have a scarcity mentality, and are coerced into marrying them through guilt and other forms of female manipulation.

Young women tend to be the trendy soulless selfish frivolous type OP and Roosh V describe (i.e. in Roosh's article on the things wrong with American women), or the social justice feminist type that plagues Reddit. A lot of the times an ugly hybrid of the two, especially those women who go to university who receive an indoctrination in leftism.

[–]ShounenEgo 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I could make this a separate post but today at work, I was almost verbally decimated by someone's woman and his secretary because they asked me to tell them when will I get married, and I said "never, unless MAYBE with a prenup". They went full wildcats spitting poison how I'm "the kind of guy who even splits chairs in the house", how "that's not how love works". Even the poor guy took her position (obviously) telling me that "I just don't know how good it is", all the while his wife was talking to me about how she wants the latest iPhone, new clothes because it's been "well over a month" (the horror!) and he subtly complained about his dead bedroom.

It's as if they are the ones who are missing getting their hands in my pocket! Now that I'm TRP and I don't see this whole thing from an emotional angle, that argument didn't really worked as they planned. I'm never getting married. NEVER EVER.

[–]evileddy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They are mad at you because you have seen marriage for what it is.. and your discovery is a direct threat to women's resources.

[–]fingerthemoon 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I was talked into proposing by my sister. I wanted to make my lady happy and knew it was what she wanted. It was all for her.

So glad we never tied the knot. Even though I was BP back then there was a part of myself that was RP but had never been validated, so I questioned myself and tried to turn down the "misogyny". TRP confirmed what I've always suspected. And when she fucked me over it was the best lesson imaginable.

[–]Endorsed Contributoralways-be-closing 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't see how men could ever marry a woman.

Women were not always like most women are now.

Even now, most women are not the most venal of women, but someone like Amy Schumer wouldn't have been celebrated by a sitting Senator pressing for gun control. She would have been a family shame and not paraded as a social icon - much less someone whose opinion is considered in any way relevant on lawmaking.

[–]benuntu 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This has a corollary to getting fit:

Before getting fit: Fairly large pool of "attractive" women
After getting fit: Most women are lazy slobs, with precious few taking care of their bodies.

[–]adoniselite 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Marcus Aurelius would've been proud of your phrasing , "One man prays: 'how can I sleep with that woman?' Your prayer is: 'How can I lose the desire to sleep with her?'

[–]drallcom3 12 points12 points [recovered]

That basically it. I get bored with a new woman so easily now that I often don't even bother meeting them. The sex is also mostly boring.

[–]nonanon111 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Not only boring, but expensive. Expensive in terms of the stress in dealing with them and their feelz-logic and personality disorders, the constant drama and arguments and shittests and other attention/validation schemes, the agony of attending female activities and conversing about celebrity gossip and enduring their insipid friends/families, the opportunity cost of having to spend all this time with them instead of pursuing something productive or fulfilling, the direct fincancial cost of supporting them and purchasing the requisite number of gifts, etc.

Outside of a marriage with children, all of it is essentially a cost for sex, and if you value your time and happiness it's fucking expensive.

[–][deleted] 10 points10 points

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[–]evileddy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

it's not uncommon for them to bail on you or ask you to pick something up for them on the way or ask for a ride somewhere

Jesus.. even hookers pull this shit.... truly AWALT

[–]evileddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly:

Before TRP: I hope this nice lady likes me...

After TRP: AWALT yawn

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Jesus this is exactly how I feel right now.

[–]TheEnglishman28 269 points270 points  (72 children)

21 years old?

A lot of us here would give our left nuts to have found this place at 21 and applied the knowledge within.

You are on the right path, but I want to say that you don't need to loathe yourself. You have to love yourself before you can truly be a complete person.

You killed your ego with this post, which is perfect. Now you need to learn to love yourself on your way to losing that weight. You will feel much more rewarded for it.

[–]Dustin_Bromain 41 points42 points  (38 children)

22 here. Kind of sucks that I found it in my last year of college but whatever. Better late than never.

[–]jaysire 89 points90 points  (11 children)

40 year old here. TRP is just as relevant and beneficial now as it was (would've been) at 20.

[–]augizzz999 37 points38 points  (4 children)

16 year old here. Got some time to prepare before university.

[–]Arrys 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You're well ahead of the game, then. Good luck to you!

[–]Iseeacloud 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Don't get too hung up on it getting laid and alpha and shit. Live and meditate and do you above all else.

[–]augizzz999 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I've accepted the fact that i'll most likely be a virgin until university.

[–]plenkton 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. TRP is the mindset to accomplish one's goals, and this is possible from conception to death.

[–]VanillaVeku 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Man then you make me feel appreciative actually, I'm 20 now found this sub last year

[–]Exactrp 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Found this at 17 after a bad high school relationship.

It sure saved my senior year of high school and first few years of college.

[–]ENTangl3 13 points14 points  (13 children)

Thank fucking goodness i found this place last year at 18 years of age.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

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[–]RiouxDeJaneiro 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I feel you on that, 20 years old here. The vast majority of friends, classmates, and colleagues around my age are BP-brainwashed to exorbitant levels. The tsunami of PC, feminist, and racial undertones have immobilized them in a sea of mediocrity and complacency. The first topic of conversation for said "men" are the women they're trying to get with, and how close they are getting (in their eyes at least) to the ultimate goal, never once thinking about what they are giving up to reach it. Your very ability to have a free thought or mindstate, your time, money, efforts, all of which could be invested elsewhere and grown exponentially to the point where your original goal would naturally follow. For example, the guy who writes/plays music and follows around a girl simply using him for his money, car, room, etc. He invests countless hours into writing songs for this one piece of ass, not realizing the opportunity cost (an economic concept) of his action. He would be much stronger, free, and rich in all things RP by honing his talents and working at his craft to make the music he finds personal and spectacular. He gains some form of success in it, and women are now coming his way, chasing after not only his music but his image; even his empire. Ditch the chase; uncover your space.

[–]BillC618 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I was thinking. You have your whole life ahead of you. I didn't figure this out until I was in my late 30s.

[–]_whatcanbe 1 points1 points [recovered]

I'm 18. I suppose you can say that I am lucky? Had to fuck up twice (hard) before I fully bought into the red pill; but it's worth it.

[–]rpscrote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. Finding this at 18 is EXTREMELY lucky. Especially if you plan to go to college. College RP is a very, very different experience than College BP.

[–]Drogba006 111 points112 points  (7 children)

It's good you have recognized shortcomings man, that's really great.

When a girl starts complaining about her horseshit just pull up twitter and hand it to her.

Patrice O'Neal is even quoted saying "my girl has over 7000 tweets, thank god for twitter because that's 7000 things should would have said to me"

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (6 children)

I've been watching a lot of Patrice ever since I found out about this place. The man was red pill incarnate.

[–]Code_Bordeauxx 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Just to make sure, you've been watching Bill Burr too I hope? He does a podcast twice a week, carrying on where Patrice left off. They were good friends actually.

[–]laere 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Bill Burr is awesome. Sucks he married a cunt.

[–]Code_Bordeauxx 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but look at it from his perspective. He's a comedian, and half his stage material is about women. He doesn't need a loyal submissive girl, he needs a sparring partner. Hell, he needs a wife who he can complain about some times on stage. I've listened to many of the podcasts and I do have to say that although they have a remarkable dynamic, it seems to be a working one. Also, it seems Bill gets what he wants out of the whole deal, which should really be all that matters. I would never have let the woman into my life either, but they seem to be doing just fine.

[–]TheGillos 13 points14 points  (0 children)

In some ways, yes. One major way he wasn't was how he treated his body. He was so out of shape he developed diabetes and died in his 40s.

Diet and exercise are key components of TRP.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 58 points59 points  (4 children)

Women are not interesting because they don't have to be - their mere existence is already interesting to men.

Men who aren't interesting, to use Christopher Hitchens's words, "...are out of the evolutionary contest. They are never going to get laid."

Christopher Hitchens goes into more detail in this video: Why Women Still Aren't Funny

[–]jaysire 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Women are not interesting because they don't have to be - their mere existence is already interesting to men.

This is important to grasp. TRP is about looking past this. Do you think women like this? Hell no, they will fight tooth and nail to discredit RP philosophy because it attacks the very foundation of their reality. Good on them for fighting for their continued existence.

To many of us who've swallowed the pill, that fight is temporarily won, but some women will drag some of us back down using the same old tools of deception, so the fight is never quite over. In that way, being blue pill is much like alcoholism - you never beat it completely, you always have to be vigilant and honest to yourself.

[–]GlansInYourHands 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Russell Brand points this out in his auto-biography, My Booky Wook:

“A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo.”

If you read the book you can easily tell he's referring to incredibly beautiful women, especially considering he's a self-titled sex addict. I assume his editor/publisher made him change the wording to avoid a feminist uproar.

[–]fingerthemoon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I agree with the sentiment that women in general aren't funny, have no need to be and therefor no incentive to be. That being said, some of the most hilarious people I've known were women. My ex was the life of the party, always cracking jokes, but she also turned out to be way too fucking dominant and masculine in the long run. She was side splitting funny though.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My ex was the life of the party, always cracking jokes, but she also turned out to be way too fucking dominant and masculine in the long run.

I think you've echoed Hitchens's point here. Women who are funny tend to be masculine.

[–]turn30left 35 points36 points  (18 children)

I recommend monk mode while you get your body in order. If you're 70 lbs overweight you have a grueling 6 months to a year ahead of you of hard work while eating smartly. Calculate your TDEE, set your caloric daily goal, use the myfitness pal app, and meet your caloric goals. Hit the gym 6 days a week and lift, lift, lift. I recommend Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5. Cardio is good, but lifting weights will burn calories and build strength while you burn fat from eating less.

Check out the Fitness sub. Do your research. Use proper form. No excuses.

[–]PaulAJK 9 points10 points  (16 children)

Also, he should check out the fasting subs. That's the quickest way to lose weight, and it doesn't burn muscle the way people assume if you keep them shorter than 60-72 hours. Plus fasting has a range of other health benefits, producing goodies like growth hormones. And you can still lift.

At 21 you can build muscle as easily as a 21 year old girl can build her N count, but losing fat is still difficult. His SMV will rise faster, over the next few months, by concentrating on a losing that flab rather than building big thighs.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (15 children)

AFAIK fasting doesn't make you lose weight (its one of those things people have mixed opinions of), it just makes it easier to run a TDEE deficit.

It's pretty easy to lose 70 lbs in 6 months, just did it myself.

[–]PaulAJK 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yes, there's no special added effect other than a calorie defecit, but it does have other particular health effects.

70 pounds in 6 months is good going dude, nice cut. I've lost 35 in 7, but gained a fair amount of muscle.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 3 points4 points  (5 children)

High school wrestlers used to lose 30+ pounds in a month, I know I did. Stop eating and workout like a mad man three hours every weeknight.

Healthy? No, not even a little other than working out, but it works. Pudgy to ripped in a month.

[–]onenifty 1 point2 points  (4 children)

The actors in 300 did a similar thing to prep for their roles. Gruelling, yes, but possible.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Possible and requires strong willpower. Not very healthy to do it that way, I like going a bit slower now. It's been 30 years since high school, there's thingsi simply won't do anymore.

[–]DONT_reply_with_THIS 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What did you do to lose 70 lbs in three months?

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (71 children)

most girls, and by most i mean like 99.9%, are boring as fuk

"adventures" = going to a bar and getting shitfaced, starting drama, and taking selfies.

they will leech off of you and do the stuff you do while constantly demanding attention.

now there are very very few girls who will actually be fun and want to do actual interesting shit, but they are extremely rare and still share the same AWALT characteristics.

If you're like me and always end up as a beta orbiter, drop women completely and work on yourself.

this doesnt just apply to betas, though. there's limited stuff you can do with a girl. you can talk to them, which most of the time will be listening to their problems/drama, you can fuck them, which gets boring after a while, and not much else.

i still chose to be done with them and focus on myself and my goals for the past few years and it's done wonders for me.

think about this, 5 years from now - would you rather have fucked 100 girls, or made a million dollars? which will give you more opportunities to do fun shit? which will get you more women? always the $$$

[–]SenorArchibald 14 points15 points  (12 children)

Advise on getting to a million?

[–]ItsAFuckingCrocodile 97 points98 points  (3 children)

be a billionaire before you meet the woman

[–][deleted] 46 points46 points

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Find something you love, find a way to make people pay you for it, keep finding ways to make people pay you more for it.

[–]FatStig 2 points2 points [recovered]

Passive income is the best.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Start a business. Put all your effort into it. Make it work. Expand it. Hire people to help. No complaining. No excuses.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (54 children)

While I agree, at the same time, I feel like I'm subconsciously using this as an excuse not to fuck more women.

But it's something I can't fix. They're just so bland and boring. I could spend ten minutes spicing up a girl and seducing her, or I could spend that same ten minutes studying, hitting the gym, or even fucking meditating. Any of those activities would be more rpdouctive than listening to her ramble.

It's almost like I've lost attraction towards women in general, in the pursuit of productivity. I could still appreciate beauty and good-looking girls, but I could no longer seem to appreciate the interaction with 99.9% of the girls as you say because (i) most don't have game and (ii) they're really not that interesting. It's like I've inadvertently entered monk mode.

[–]throwaway-aa2 22 points23 points  (24 children)

Yeah be very careful of listening to the veterans. Often times they are right: you don't need to spend a good time of your youth fucking women. However... if you feel that this is an excuse so that you don't have to put yourself out there, then you're probably not ready for this stage. If you're not fucking women, I'm of the mind that it must be your choice, and the only way it's your choice is if you know you can get pussy decently easy, and that takes time & effort. So the advice makes sense in the grand scheme of things but you'll be stunting your happiness and growth because that will always be in the back of your mind. Hard to concentrate on other ventures when even HB7's (who are 6's in real life) with skimpy clothes on distract you when they shouldn't. . Some dudes spend years worshipping pussy and they would have gotten over it had they just fucked a lot of different women...

And if you meditate then you know that's not true. You need to think outside the box (or rather not think?)

I'm of the mind that an interaction can only be boring as long as you're limiting yourself to what you're willing to do. People are like computers and your words are code and everything can be programmed into a game. "You know what? I'm going to pull this girl using one word sentences". "I'm going to try to pull a girl using strictly body language and not say a single word to her". Women are humans and can be MADE interesting, the same way you laugh (outside of a old person or a disabled person, etc) if someone slips on a banana peel. Maybe some people can fall in a more hilarious fashion but most of the time you laugh strictly because they fell, and the person was of no great contribution, it could have been anyone... get it? You are the banana peel. Your entertainment is within... I can hold an enjoyable one sided conversation and make myself laugh with another women. She only serves to give me fodder for me to talk more and make myself laugh more. She doesn't necessarily have to be interesting at all. And I can do so MUCH! Have a conversation and don't even make eye contact and just stare at her breasts or something until she points out that you're staring at her breasts and you just deny it while staring at her breast.... the opportunities for self enjoyment are endless!!!! And you meditate so you should know this.

One of my FAVORITE things to do is to go up to people and say something that I think is HILARIOUS. It's literally a win win, I can't lose! I'm an interesting person even to ME, so it's a strategy that can't be defeated. I have a lot of other metaphors to explain this dynamic but this is good enough for now.

[–]triperfecta 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I like the cut of your jib.

When I go out it's to entertain MYSELF. Most guys in my circle are on this constant pussy mission to the extent that when we go out we can't do or talk about anything else. Your experience is what you make it..and people are only as boring as you allow them to be in your presence.

Edit: One of my favorite things to do is get a girl's name wrong all. night. long.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I forgot how much fun that is, just to fuck with people while I'm out. Becoming an NCO and having to pay it straight to command respect stifled that part of me. I'm only now getting back into it, and I've been out of the military for over ten years.

I'm nearly finished with building my home, so now it's time to go back out there and fuck with college girls. Should be a fun winter.

[–]throwaway-aa2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

haha I'm using that shit. That's hilarious. I can just see the girl's reaction getting more severe as the night progresses but at the same time she can't get enough... that shit is hilarious.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (19 children)

Okay. I enjoyed your post but I feel the need to clarify a few things.

I'm not intimidated by women and haven't been after my first girlfriend at the age of 16. I can hold an awkward uncomfortable pause without flinching, and I've gone over the oneitis period too many times to be distracted by any one woman -- or person-- again.

Instead, I admit I have lousy game. I'm a horrible conversationalists -- even outside of women -- and it's an area I want to work on. Definitely improved a lot, and definitely better than most peopl -- but I hold myself to a high standard and want to be THE most charismatic person I can be.

But I lack the incentive. Back of my mind realized that it's not really worth it. Unlike progress at the gym or studies, the effects of charisma aren't long lasting. In other words, I don't really see the value in spending time and energy forming friendships/relationships at this stage of my life, because I know most relationships won't even last beyond five months (friendships included), and those that do seem rather shallow and not deep -- can't talk about topics like selfimprovement, women, which are my major hobbies.

So I don't really have the drive to keep relationships anymore. It's like I've given up on humanity because I know my energy will be better spent and rewarded by doing shot that matters to me -- kinda MGTOW

[–]throwaway-aa2 6 points7 points  (16 children)

I'm reading your post and your mind is bouncing around. You're not intimidated by women (which wasn't what I was getting at, what I was getting at is that you are responsible for how you feel), you have lousy game and you want to be the most charismatic you can be but at the same time it's not worth it because relationships don't last too long... you really need to clean that shit up.

You need to meditate MORE. You can do whatever you want, whatever you enjoy ultimately but your not really focused. How can you want to be the most charismatic person but at the same time not have any incentive to do it? It's like saying "I want to workout but working out is tough"... well shit or get off the pot. You either do or you don't.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (15 children)

Perhaps you misunderstand me. I do think you could offer me some valuable advice, though. If you have time, I'd appreciate if you could read my reply to another poster -- it clarifies a few things about my current mindset.

Too be very honest it does sound like you are hamstering and using it as an excuse.

To be very honest as well, it could be a possibility. To eliminate this, I actively discipline myself, to talk to any girl I don't know for at least 5 minutes -- and fully commit myself to the set for that 5 minutes (i.e. no distractions, no early ejection, even if she's boring I'll pretend that it's super interesting, even if she's ugly I'll pretend that she's adorable). Essentially, I give every girl -- no matter what her status is -- a 5-minute chance. Even if it's just to make sure that I have this habit of talking to girls, and to make sure it's not just my hamster subconsciously self-sabotaging my goals.

That said, I still think most of the girls I talk to are boring, and this is mainly from a very narcissistic standpoint. A lot of us here work on ourselves, we have ambitions and goals. We sculpt our body and sharpen our mind. We explore the world and work on our careers. And a lot of us here are driven to improve our craft every day -- and in doing so, we sacrificed a lot of our time/energy to dedicate to our lives.

But a large majority of the world do not. They indulge themselves in mindless distractions, when I explicitly make an effort to dismiss them through meditation. A lot of social gatherings would involve drinking booze and eating out, when I specifically track each and every single macro and calorie to make sure it does not hinder my diet. A lot of television and news that they watch, are things I specifically avoid due to the negativity. Long story short, the way an actualized person sees the world is very different from one that is "in the system". And a lot of the activities and behaviors that the majority indulges themselves in, are activities that we actively avoid.

At the same time, most of the problems they face "can't stop procrastinating, relationship problems, can't stick to my diet, no motivation to hit the gym" are simply problems that we cannot really relate to anymore. And in the same vein, a lot of their indulgences (TV shows, fiction books, gossip, celebrity shit, social media) are simply instant gratifying things that we actively avoid and, again, we can't relate to it anymore.

This is precisely why I find a lot of girls -- no, people -- extremely boring. Still, I give them a chance -- there are a few recent conversations that have surprised and inspired me, and they make it worthwhile -- but at the same time, I've given up on general expectations and hope. It gives me a peace of mind.

[–]throwaway-aa2 7 points8 points  (14 children)

Have you ever had a conversation with a 3 year old? (I'm not good with ages of kids but basically the age of a kid who has JUST gotten a general grasp of the language)?

It's awe inspiring, to see a 3 year old talk. And you sit there asking him questions, sort of egging him on: "So how old are YOU?" "Whose your favorite teacher" and so on. I'll come back to this.

Think about the phrase "Ignorance is bliss". You're doing self improvement but yet you've left yourself at a stage that doesn't know how to enjoy the company of someone else? Are you really self improving then? Think of that situation with the kid again.... do you REALLY need to relate with someone to enjoy their company? But let's say that's true that you can't relate... why is that? I'm just going on a narrative that will hopefully make you ask yourself these questions and get perspective.

Meditation is not about dismissing mindless distractions. Doing so means you are attached to dismissing mindless distractions. "Nothing" is still a word... Meditation (depending on the type you get into) is about focusing on the breath. When a thought comes you acknowledge it and GENTLY come back to the breathe. It's not about stopping thoughts because that is attachment to them and that gives them power. Think of it like this... if you want to get rid of the mindless distractions then you CARE. Letting your mind go where it wants but letting them come up means you neither care or don't care. But I would make an effort to get into a better meditation practice... I recommend Zen but do whatever you'd like.

The last point I'll leave you (before I head out, we can continue this conversation) is the idea of things being boring. Do you consider yourself a jokester? The type of person that comes in the conversation and everyone immediately identifies as the funny one? You keep pointing to women being boring but that doesn't even register to me, the same way a comedian doesn't need his audience to be funny, the same way you don't need your woman to have muscles. The girl doesn't need to provide intellectual value... I have plenty of friends that can do that for me. People in general don't need to provide that value. I am the center. There is a concept in meditation that basically says that if you are bored, then you are not curious enough.

So where you see a girl that is interested in "vapid" celebrities, I see an opportunity to PLAY, the same way we once played with alphabet blocks and legos. If you cannot have a 5 minute conversation with a woman without enjoying yourself (or rather most people for that matter) then ask yourself if YOU are the one who is boring. Learn to make yourself laugh dude! Are you even enjoying your life right now?

I've always been a social chameleon, because I realize that EVERYONE has something to bring to the table, you just have to realize what that is. Can I not talk to someone now because they're not RedPill? Or because they don't lift? Or because they're not highly educated? "Take what you need (or want) and throwaway the rest". I once read a post on here and this guy was complaining that most people are boring because he's into ancient egypt and everyone is into vapid stuff. But egypt is also boring to other people...

Let me explain this another way for you. Self improvement in itself is pretty boring. Lift, eat right, get money, dress well. And to be honest I really don't like having conversations about it in real life because it's really fucking boring and it signals to people that you have no life experience to draw from. I really don't want to hear about your programming if I'm out on the night. I don't want to hear about your meal prep and when you take fat & carbs and why... I don't want to hear from how you started dressing better... you get what I'm saying? Maybe it is YOU that is boring if you can't find anything interesting about other people but yet don't see a problem focusing non stop on nothing but self improvement (which most citizens of the world cannot identify with). Look INWARD. What makes you think that you're interesting, or funny, or charming? Again not accusations, I just want you to start asking questions so that you can at least clarify your perspective.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (13 children)

then ask yourself if YOU are the one who is boring. Learn to make yourself laugh dude! Are you even enjoying your life right now?

Yeah. I do think maybe I'm the boring one (to other people). What steps should I take to change this, and actually enjoy social interaction again?

I am enjoying and am content with my life. I take my goals and myself very seriously -- it's difficult to loosen up, and maybe I like it this way. It helps me get things done. It makes me in the zone. The reason I can't really enjoy social interaction is because most of them require me to jeopardize/compromise my goals. For example, going to a party means I must compromise my diet (alcoholic intake), my sleep schedule (which essentially fucks up my entire week), my studies, and my gym progress (due to the alcohol and lack of sleep). You see?

Perhaps I am the boring one, but I need to make sure I'm always on top of my shit goals-wise or I'll feel unproductive and depressed. And I disagree -- I find self-improvement extremely rewarding. I used to be a fat pathetic loser precisely because I lacked discipline, and now that I have this discipline, I really don't want to revert back to my old ways. IN reality, you can't have everything, you do have to compromise some of your goals in order to have a "fun time", to "loosen up". But that's precisely the thing -- I don't find most social gatherings as "fun time" and "loosening up", and because of that, it's hard for me to justify sabotaging my goals in order to "be social", when due to aforementioned reasons, I find it extremely unstimulating.

Long story short, being social does not fulfill me as self-improvement does. Hence, I can't find the value and genuinely enjoy spending my time, compromising my goals, on most social activities.

[–]throwaway-aa2 4 points5 points  (3 children)

What steps should I take to change this, and actually enjoy social interaction again?

Be curious. You're talking to a being that has lived on the planet for 18-30 years! Even if they're fucking retarded it's fascinating! That person has an identity, they have fears and wishes and dreams... they can manipulate you... or you can manipulate them... some of them have religious desires, fears, some of them have broken minds from abuse, some of them have bright minds... some of them are like puppies... not much to say but who doesn't like puppies! People are infinitely interesting. Not only that but talking to them helps you learn more about yourself! Every time I have a conversation I go "Oh. Another opportunity to learn a little bit more about myself" or "I just changed during that conversation". Each conversation is a chance to grow and mature mentally... you'd be stupid if you had 500 conversations and didn't get noticeably better each time you had 500 of them.

[–]throwaway-aa2 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yin and Yang dude. The purpose of your goals isn't hopefully to get to a point where you have all the money in the world, all the status in the world, all the SMV in the world, and you can't STAND being around people (or even women). You got this all wrong.. and that happens. Sometimes we get on paths but then forget that they were to serve a purpose.

Furthermore... if it's difficult to loosen up, then you're going to live a very unloose life... is that what you want? You ever see people that work on their careers their whole life and then die and leave all they worked for to someone else? What's the point in that? You need to have long term goals but ALSO learn to live in the present. I keep coming back to this "... you meditate? you sure" point and I think you need to examine it. Meditation is a lot of things. One of the things it is, is learning to live in the present moment. Most people for their ENTIRE LIVES live in either the past or the present. It's either stuck on memories that already happened, or stuck on goals and things you want to do in the future. But these are just small points and blips on your entire life! Some people spend years achieving their dreams and that's fine but they wasted a lot of enjoyment not being PRESENT in those years. You only ever have the present moment. I'll repeat that because it's important: You only ever have the present moment. Future goals are either not there yet, or they are reached. It comes and it goes. But the present is always here. Even right now as you're reading this.

You basically need to cultivate 2 sides to you to really enjoy life. One is the goal thing. That gives context to a lot of things. It seems like you're already on that path so that's good (but again you definitely need to clean up that meditation practice).

But you also can cultivate a playful attitude. Think of what I said when I said social chameleon. Your loose side doesn't have to interfere with your "on a mission" side. You should be able to go out to a party or be with people not on that mission and "LET GO". Wouldn't you enjoy both having goals and working extremely hard at them, but then also giving yourself some moments out of the day, or maybe a Saturday night to let the fuck go? That self improvement shit is still going to be there the next day dude!

I can't give you all the answers but really just start thinking about shit like this. Imagine if you could get any women you wanted and you had all the money in the world... what would you do? Would you THEN want to learn how to learn to have fun? Really start thinking about what it means to be a valuable man... or start thinking about things like... "hmm maybe I'm using self improvement as a buffer so that I don't have to learn how to interface with people. Let me ask you a question: Let's say you're talking with children and you want to pull them in and get them attached to you. Can you do that? Let's say you're talking to some teenagers... Can you do that? Can you as easily pull all types of men into your frame (on some friendly, comedic shit)? Some dude said it best: power is also about building rapport in this world. At the end of the day we're a social species and for all the power you have in the world, you can have more by recruiting people to your side, and you can also be dismantled by people if they have a reason to. Being able to loosen up is going to attract a lot more people than it would otherwise... and it'll also let you have more fun and not take things as seriously. And if you think about it, the type of person who is a MASTER at amused mastery, a natural at it, is the type of person that is loosey goosey but still has an incredibly high SMV and strong frame. I know we say amused mastery here and women are attracted to that, so think about that. People use this "technique" to achieve something but in reality this mindset is attractive because it signals that you are loosey goosey. And like I like to tell people... women are attracted to value, and evolution usually has it's reasons for why women find that attractive.

Again I could literally go on forever... and maybe some of this applies and maybe it doesn't. But just really start thinking about all of this. If you're truly happy with the way things are then don't change a thing... but I think that even you think things could be better.

[–]throwaway-aa2 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Perhaps I am the boring one, but I need to make sure I'm always on top of my shit goals-wise or I'll feel unproductive and depressed.

Like I said in my other comment... not every waking hour and moment needs to be self improvement based. You can stand taking a night off.

I must compromise my diet (alcoholic intake)

No you don't. Either don't drink or smoke weed. Problem solved.

my sleep schedule (which essentially fucks up my entire week)

3 solutions. 1, naps. 2, I usually use an alarm the next day and just fix the sleep schedule the next day. Or 3, realize that you don't NEED to go to parties. You could totally meet people during other daytime activities.

Long story short, being social does not fulfill me as self-improvement does. Hence, I can't find the value and genuinely enjoy spending my time, compromising my goals, on most social activities.

Couple of things. One, I'd argue that being social IS self improvement in a way. Knowing how to build rapport and recruiting people through charisma is important... look at Steve Jobs, or think about other charismatic go getters who could really attract people with how they approached conversations and such. Secondly... sure, do whatever makes you happy, just make sure that you're not doing it because you have the wrong idea about it. The same way a beta does beta things because he believes they are right, maybe you believe you don't enjoy something but in actuality you have the ability to cultivate it. Let's see what else...

If you don't find value in it ultimately you don't have to do it. Maybe there are some people out there who just enjoy non stop self improving, but to me personally that's missing the point of self improvement. Someone once said that the one thing that makes the places you go to in life different, is the PEOPLE. So when you go to India, or Russia... you're going to get weather, see trees, etc. But what really makes life is PEOPLE. We are social creatures. Sure, SELF IMPROVE but I don't really see the point in doing that till the end of time. What is the point of improving non stop? Ask yourself this. What is the point of getting big muscles? What is the ultimate point of getting money? What is the point of all of this to you?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

You have some great practical solutions to lessen the compromise, but the underlying issue still exists: why is it worth it (to you for instance) to go through all this trouble (naps, loosening up on diets, etc)? I'd also give some context that im twenty, while its important to have boundaries, one wouldn't really fit in the social scene without compromising a lot of his/her goals (studies, fitness, diet). "Think like you wish but behave like others", it'll be counterproductive to do so, and at the end of the day, we must admit there is a sacrifice -- but what makes it worth the cost?

I defer your question to you, not as a challenge, but rather out of genuine curiosity: What is the point of all this, to you? What makes social interaction worth the cost -- even though most people you'll interact with are bland, not actualised, and cookie cutter versions of other people you've met?

To answer you; the point of all this for me and ultimately for everyone is to be happy. What makes me happy? Living a life productively -- getting the most bang for my buck -- makes me happy

I will die a happy man knowing I've done everything I can in this world -- all the mystery rooms unlocked in this level and all the coins collected. I'll die a happy man knowing that I capitalised on every opportunity that came my way, and didnt have any chances that I could've took, but pussied out. I will die a happy man knowing I gave it my all towards my dreams, that it was the best life I could've lived. Anything lesser than that will bring me extreme sorrow, all the chances I could've took but was too coward to take, all the opportunities I missed because i slacked off, etc.

The corollary to this is that while a robot is productive, I'm only human, so inevitably my workflow will not be perfect. But as long as I optimise my lifestyle (having balanced life, sufficient rest, a work hard play hard mentality), I am happy.

[–]nonanon111 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't confuse charisma with the ability to seduce women.

If you don't think that charisma has a major effect on one's overall success, you do indeed have a lot of thinking to do.

[–]DrQuaid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

psh thats life tho. If you can forgo all else except for monetary goals you can practically achieve anything, money-wise. It's just EXTREMELY hard to do, and I cant figure out how to do it.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think one of the biggest advantages of being male is that the world tells it to us straight. If we have any shortcomings or weaknesses they will either get exploited or pointed out at our expense.

This forces us to stay on our shit and improve constantly.

Most Women don't experience this, even an overweight 4 has an iPhone full of validation and a cluster of orbiters. This leads them to think more highly of themselves than they really should. They become complacent and stop getting better because they don't need to.

[–]redparadigm 10 points11 points  (35 children)

You're biggest challenge yet the biggest opportunity as well is to lose those 70 pounds of fat.

You'll be amazed at how people treat you differently.

It's a lot of weight to lose, likely will take two or three years to do sustainably but is a hundred percent worth it. This should be your number one goal.

Don't succumb to fad diets or crazy calorie restrictions. Reduce daily calories by 500. Cut ALL soda drinks, drunk only water and unsweetened ice tea. Cut all candy and processed sugar products. That alone would make a miracle within a year.

[–]Rooi_Aap 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Look into Rooibos tea (aka Red Bush tea). It is a naturally sweet herbal tea. Has no caffeine, extremely low calories (if at all) and is packed with anti oxidants. It is relatively cheap (it grows in a specific desert region in South Africa so it might be a little bit more than normal tea) and it chills well as an ice tea. They started adding the stuff to face cream, it is that good. I actually drink that over normal tea.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Dandelion root tea is good as well, kinda nutty flavored and helps when weaning yourself off coffee.

[–]ThundercuntIII 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Red Pill tea advice megathread?

[–]DannyDemotta 0 points1 point  (28 children)

OP said he was 70lbs overweight - not 10. Assuming he doesn't lift heavy af and isn't at a risk of losing muscle, he could probably cut 1500/day for several months without hitting a wall. Just keep protein/fiber/water intake high enough.

70lbs fat loss is not a "2 or 3 year" thing. It should take about 6 months. Gaining 20-40lbs of muscle after that? Yeah, a couple years. But just losing fat is nothing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (11 children)

I forgot to mention I'm 6'0 & 240 pounds. Ideal weight for my height is 170 right? I'm medium frame.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 6-0 and I'm 211 after being 260 on July 4. Leangains, brother. I've tried every weight loss protocol there is and leangains is the best. You absolutely can be ripped in 5-6 months (and no running!).

Check it out.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I'm 5'8 and 265-270, my ideal weight is 155 (according to the US military) haven't been able to get that low since I was a junior in high school. I was active duty at 235, which means less than 15%bf using the very skewed tape method. Skewed to make you fatter than you actually are. I've gained considerable mass in the last ten years, mostly in the last three.

The point of me saying that is to illustrate that the ideals don't fit everyone, my bone structure is very robust despite my height. Yours could get very slight, very heavy, or right in the average range. You won't know until you get there. Right now I'm not wash board abs, but you can see my ribs and I have good definition in my arms, back and legs. At around 245 I should have a six pack starting to show, and be absolutely ripped at 220, but I'll have to burn mass to get that low again.

Lift, get the body fat down with diet, don't be as concerned about scale weight as a indicator, but user it as a guide to track progress. Once you start packing on the muscle mass, the scale will go up. Probably not to the extent I'm at, but depending on how effective your lifting and diet is, it can be considerable.

[–]DannyDemotta 5 points6 points  (3 children)

You wont know your frame til you cut the fat and put on muscle. Dont handicap yourself before you even get started by reading pseudoscience like "genetic potential" calculators and the like. You can potentially get up to 190 or more quite easily, and be very musclar and only spend 3-5 hours/week lifting. Any bigger may (or may not) require additional 3-5/hours. Everyone is different. 6'0/170 wouldnt even need weightlifting you'd just look like a soccer player with no pecs/shoulders/ass.

Diet hard, lose the fat, lift weights but dont worry too much about progression/strength increases. Fat loss is #1 right now. Once you get under 200, eat more food and go from there.

The last thing you want to be is some bear-mode fake powerlifter. Cut first, then strength train, then bodybuilding to inflate everything and tighten loose skin.

[–]dracolius 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You say, "Cut first". I'm wondering if you would give the same advice to an older guy. For a generic example, let's say he's 40 years old, at 6'0 and 195 lbs.

My thought has been that, for people whose bodies have begun the long down slope, strength training should come first (provided you're not obese). This way, you reinforce the infrastructure that can help prevent injury when doing all the cardio needed to burn off the fat.

Does this make sense to you, or am I missing something?

[–]DannyDemotta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes sense, if youre recomending high intensity long duration cardio (30+ minute grueling pace jogs). I wouldnt. To lose weight, Do either low intensity for a long time or high intensity for a short time (<10M). Almost no chance of injury or overuse or muscle loss.

The key to losing weight is 90% diet. op needs to eat less, period. The only cardio you truly "need" is just the cardio that allows you to eat mor fiber and protein calories, and fruits/vegetables. Thats it.

[–]MINECRAFT_BIOLOGIST 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds about right. I'm 6' 1" and 170 and people think I'm skinny. Maybe you might be a bit heavier if you have some serious muscles.

[–]ObsidianOne 2 points3 points  (9 children)

70 lbs in 6 months is excessive. If you start off aggressive and you aren't used to cutting cycles, you're not going to be faithful and you're going to give up. The previous advice is perfect.

[–]Fafner2 1 point2 points  (5 children)

70 pounds can take up to a year for most people, but not 2 or 3. 6 months assumes a linear loss of about 12 pounds a month, which is seldom the case, even for people who are strict with their diet.

[–]ObsidianOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The biggest impact is how you view yourself. Once you start losing weight and gaining muscle, your confidence will go through the roof.

[–]Antipusillanimity 28 points28 points [recovered]

Here's a theory:

Women supposedly mature faster than men, right? It's a blanket statement and obviously pretty general, let's hold it true for a moment.

Now, what if women, by maturing early, also stop this maturing process sooner then men? Naturally we assume maturity and experience are somewhat linear tied with age, with small jumps for things like change of careers, military duty, etc. What if at some point for women, it slows way down or stops outright compared to men?

There's plenty of examples, but the biggest in society is overall looks. Women focus much more heavily than guys on their looks, and never really "mature" out of it. I don't see many women engaging in philosophical talks with other women, it's usually focused on superficial things like looks, relationships, drama, etc. Women remain more childlike, somewhat like a teenager, than their male counterpart, particularly as age increases.

As OP talks about removing a women from her pedestal, you kind of see them focusing on very simple things in their life. Thoughts?

[–]ThaDilemma 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Have you read "Women, the most responsible teenager" on the sidebar yet?

[–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My bet is not. Too many newbs here not doing their homework before posting.

Read the god damned sidebar. Then read it again. Stop blabbing, start reading and internalizing. THEN you might have something interesting to contribute.

[–]Code_Bordeauxx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not only that, it actually shows in their physical appearance. Women actually, objectively LOOK more like children. Smaller, more narrow shouldered, rounder body (more curved), they even have a higher voice. This is not uncommon in biology, it's called neoteny and seen in many other species. I second that you have to take another look at the sidebar.

[–]Radu_Andrew 13 points14 points  (5 children)

As ThaDilemma said, that article explains that most women reach full maturity at age 18, then they stop maturing anymore. That's it, nada, zilch, no more. Men need until age 28(!) to get to the same maturity level of a woman 18 years old, however after 28 they continue to mature until they die. So yeah, your suspicions are correct. Your mileage may vary.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All women are children, including your mother. Once I internalized that, the quality of our relationship increased.

[–]fadetoblack1004 34 points35 points  (10 children)

Once I took the pussy off the pedestal, I found it amazing how many women simply couldn't carry on a conversation or debate... they rely on style over substance, and once you learn to mentally strip away the style, if the substance is lacking, you'll never be satisfied with them.

The moment I sat down with a woman and was able to actually have an in-depth conversation that spanned a wide variety of topics and showcased what a well-rounded individual should be, I was fascinated. Give me a smart woman who can carry a conversation and understands the finer points of many topics and is a 7.5/10 over a 9/10 devoid of any depth every time.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Reminds me of this girl I met who said she was taking Comp Sci. I started talking about some technical details of a language that a CS student at her level should know and she was immediately out of her depth. She was probably more used to guys fawning over her because she had some interest in Comp Sci, probably tricked them into doing her problem sets too

[–]reddymcwoody 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Don't worry about her; she'll be promoted to manager in no time thanks to the bullshit quota's and "progressive" stance companies want to show.

[–]foldpak111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women were unqualified for those jobs to begin with. That's why they can't hang. After all the hustling and grinding men go through to get to the same position, they have the work ethic to handle the workload and then some (let's not forget that false rape charge, further hardening the individual).

[–]M3_Drifter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And it's probably for the best that she's removed from a position to do anything dangerous.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm training to become an electrician. At school there's this one chick whose conversations I regularly overhear. She has no handle on the technicality she's studying and the teachers are lax with her. Add to that her beta orbiter who often helps her and explains basic shit she should know by now.

They don't even have to be attractive, some men will still fawn over them, thinking it'll get them laid if they help her out and make her laugh all the time.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Most of those girls are homely. My second wife was brilliant, not just book smart, but she was a complete novice at social interactions. She was also very plain, had jacked up teeth, lopsided tits with a full cup size difference between them, and no curves to speak of, but I overlooked her physical shortcomings because she was fun to be around, could converse about almost anything, and he'll she was skinny do it was fun fucking her. Just turn the lights off.

The only intelligent attractive girls I've met were severely broken emotionally due to sexual abuse at a young age. The crazy scale isn't linear with smart hot girls, it's near vertical and goes up like drag v velocity.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 25 points26 points  (18 children)

If you want to accelerate your progress even more, cultivate cocky over-confidence.

You can't go wrong by being too confident and too cocky (with women). Too cocky = interesting to a woman, even if it's obvious at first glance that you objectively aren't shit yet. This mindset is the opposite of thinking you have no chance with these women. No matter how 100% objective and realistic that thinking may be, it's still blue and is still holding you back.

Since it is very natural for the man's emotions to swing into a "monk mode" during the anger phase and what follows, especially after a lifetime on the blue pill, you can look at my advice as taking charge, pushing that pendulum (of your own emotions) the opposite way hard. It will swing with greater amplitude, and you will find your very own "good neutral" state quicker that way, one that will be 100% authentic and take little effort to maintain. Unlike the extreme state of super cocky over confidence, which is pretty taxing. Expect everything to get super draining emotions-wise and you will want to give up/throw up, but just stick with it and conquer. It's not an endless war, it's just a few annoying-as-hell battles with your own blue pill self which you need to win.

[–]NAmember81 35 points36 points  (16 children)

There was a post on askreddit the other day that asked "women, what turns you off the most about a guy?" It was a popular thread I caught early and the top comment at the time was "arrogance", so I replied "isn't arrogance just confidence coming from somebody you don't like?"

It got a lot of attention and despite everybody swearing up and down they are completely different it boiled down to whether or not they personally believed that the confident person deserved to be acting that way. If they didn't approve of their confidence they labeled it as arrogance.

The problem is if you are born in the underclass merely acting confident is considered "threatening" or "arrogant" and nearly everybody you meet will think you should not be acting that way. So if you wait for approval from others to act confident you will likely never be confident and therefore remain stuck in the underclass, which I think is part of the goal of people trying to put you down for having pride while being poor.

Once I worked at a restaurant seating customers and I acted confident and always dressed real nice and customers always assumed I was the manager and the chicks seemed to dig me. Sounds good right? Well, a couple weeks into the job I got called into the back office where 3 of the managers were and they began to question me about "who the hell I think I am?" and told me that I "walk around like I own the place".

They felt as if I should be walking around nervous and timid with my head down, lol. Fuck them, they were just pissed because customers and employees were beginning to look up to me as a leader because I came off as being in control while the managers were insecure and expected people to worship them because of their job title.

[–]foldpak111 3 points4 points  (0 children)

90% of those in management are in it for the power and thus become unqualified for the position because they spent all their time learning how to lord over instead of learning how to run the business. I could outperform them and I don't even have a job.

[–]fingerthemoon 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Confidence is something you feel and project through action without making a show of it. Humble confidence is attractive to everyone.

Arrogance is talking about your accomplishments and how great you are. Making assumptions about what you're entitled to. This is unattractive to everyone.

People will call you arrogant when you're simply being confident because they're jealous (men) or can't have you (women). Just learn not to talk about yourself or try to impress people and things will get easier.

Makes me think of something an old man said to me once: If your life ever surpasses your wildest dreams, keep it to yourself.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Another facet of confidence v arrogance is that confidence stems from accomplishment, actually doing something. Arrogance stems from thinking you can without ever having tried or actually done it.

I am confident I can fuck girls half my age, because I have. It would be arrogance if I hadn't but claimed I could. That confidence makes it incredibly easy to get young girls naked, so it feeds itself. Sometimes arrogance works, because the bitches don't know the difference, and if they're into you already, they'll overlook it and follow along.

Another way to put it. I have a street driven car I built that runs 9 second quarte mile times. I have confidence that it can beat most cars out there, though I know there's lots of cars much faster because I'm not an idiot. The kid with the turbo Neon that runs 14 second quarters who thinks his car is the fastest heap of shit on the road is arrogant, there's no substance or capability behind his thinking. This kid tells everyone how brutally fast his car is and says he won't race for less than $500. He simply doesn't know how much faster even my daily driver is than his car, not to mention the ludicrously fast cars out there running 8s and 7s. Most people are scared shitless in a low 12 second car, single digits are mind bending to the uninitiated who have only driven 4 cylinder cars and slow ass trucks. Neon kid would shit himself riding in the passenger seat of a 7 second machine, but a girl riding in his slow ass Neon might be impressed enough to fuck him, because she is extremely clueless.

Confidence is knowing you can because you have, arrogance is thinking you can when you haven't, as well as telling everyone about it.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Interesting you bring that up. Last weekend I was talking to two 20 something loser girls at a friends house, yeah they were attractive, but bitching about being broke because they quit their jobs and general attitude made them losers.

Well both do this acrobatic thing like pole dancing but with suspended rings. Upon hearing that I said "So then you're firm everywhere" to which the other one said "That was so creepy". I mentioned that creepy is only a matter of attraction which is why she thought it was, she isn't attracted to me. She tried to defend her position by claiming if net boyfriend said that it would still be creepy and then claimed I should have said something like "you must be very toned." My reply was "So you want me to talk like a girl rather than a man." The look on her face was priceless.

There was another one there, 33, looking like the wall smacked her hard, overweight and did nothing with her limp hair. She mentioned she had a boyfriend four times in half an hour. The last time loud enough for everyone in the room to hear it I said "Yeah I heard you the first time about your bf" that shut her yap fast, apparently not many men have put her in her place before. Why did she bring it up? I wasnt hitting on her, not even remotely interested, yet she felt the need to bring up her boy.

Next thing I know, "that's creepy" girl sits next to me and massages the firm girls feet while we watch a movie. She kept bumping my hands with hers as she did it. Now this girl is the one my bud is fucking, he really likes the loser girls, they're everywhere around him, show up in droves, to the point if I met a girl through him, I mostly write her off. Here's this bitch, trying to start kino with me because I held frame and forced them all into mine.

My confidence is huge, I'll readily admit it. However I'm as old as most of these girls parents, and post wall chick asked how old I was 3 times. If the gray in my beard doesn't tell you everything you need to know, you're stupid. They didn't think I should be so cocky and confident, and tried to slot me as an orbiting beta faggot. When they discover they can't do that, they get wet. Old guys aren't supposed to be cocky and arrogant with young girls in their world.

I doubt I'm the creepy old guy now.

[–]nsummy 3 points4 points  (5 children)

That is a type of yoga and if you are old enough to be their parents asking if they are firm all over is pretty creepy. You were right there, you can look at their body without commenting on it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Confidence is often defined by first impressions. It's based on your mannerisms, the way you speak, your hand shake, the way you dress and the people you associate with. To be confident you must fake it till you make it.

[–]nonanon111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I replied "isn't arrogance just confidence coming from somebody you don't like?"

I'd say the difference is more that arrogance is unjustified confidence. I detest Floyd Mayweather, but I wouldn't say he's arrogant just for saying he's the best - he's right.

There may also be element of mean-spiritedness with "arrogance", beyond just touting your own abilities, also treating others as weaker or lower, and without respect. It's that lack of respect that makes Floyd arrogant.

But I'm not sure. It's an interesting question, I'll have to think about it.

[–]mrshowdown 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Use them to game other girls. You will look more attractive when seen with these leeches

[–]textualintercourse[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The chosen choose themselves. Good to see you are choosing you.

Hit it hard, do work.

[–]Stythe 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Raised by a single mother here, I agree. I always felt weirdly empty when U wasn't working on improving myself, but assumed having a gf/wife/ family was what I was missing. Once I dealt with the mess that was my last relationship I realized how poisoned I was by her raising methods.

I don't believe any child should be raised by a single mother, but given the social climate, I am outright against a boy being raised by a single mother. Women just don't understand men for the most part.

[–]RealRational 15 points16 points  (3 children)

It actually gets to the point where it becomes hard to find a reason to want to be around them. I used to look forward to seeing certain girls and now I just don't care.

You wanna go back to your place? I don't care.

You just grabbed my cock in a bar? I don't care.

I ask you out and you reject me? I don't care.

You want help with blah blah blah. I don't care.

I really just don't care about them, there's nothing interesting about them. The instinctual need for sex has become a nagging annoyance I satiate with reluctance, anger, hostility, impatience.

Which as we all know is exactly how girls really want to be fucked.

Which then tells you that THEY WANT you to hate them. Which is a whole new 12 levels of fucked up and you hate them even more.

I wish I could rinse, repeat.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Women like the behaviours of men that hate them but hate the idea that men would hate them. Disconnects like this are why I don't encourage a woman to think, her intuition will always win.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nothing good comes from a woman thinking. Who told you to think ?! Every thought is just power for the hamster and word they spout is just another obstacle to the task at hand, getting to the pussy. Even knowing their own nature fucks with their heads. Their entire sexual strategy requires them to be intellectual zombies to be as effiecient as possible and manipulate without cognitive dissonance. Introspection, access to the truth is a hindrance.

They were designed to follow the feelz and tingle compass, bouncing around like a pinball machine. They were designed for penetration and task delegation, not much else (though they are capable of more if they try). But women and society try to convince you otherwise.

Men were designed to be level headed and handle them properly, as if they were children (they are). Any man whose fucked a girl senseless knows that within every woman, is a child. It becomes emotionally reliant. It gets clingy. It throws tantrums. It feels entitled. It cries for ridiculous reasons. It wants its daddy. It's really cute to witness, especially when you were the mastermind behind the whole experience and knowing what comes next. "Ah, a woman being a woman. Nothing new here"

"It's okay sweety, come to daddy. Bend over and let me bang all those dumb thoughts out of your head. Let me give you a break from all that evil thinking."

[–]RealRational 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That disconnect from reality is the core of what I hate most.

"I want you to behave as though you hate me, while loving me" - Bitch, you are broken.

[–]G_Banger 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I agree, putting the pussy on a pedestal is not a good thing AT ALL. And yes, some girls are fucking boring and make you want to slit your wrists talking to them (lol.. but srs..)

HOWEVER, a lot of girls I know are fucking hilarious and a lot of fun to hang around. IDK where this idea comes from that we literally have to HATE women.

Red pill theory is like a pendulum. Before it, you are too pussy, constantly putting women above yourself to the point where you are awkward an unnatural, then upon joining TRP, people do this total 180 shift, and just demonize women. If you REALLY want to be happy, you need to find a balance between the two.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I don't hate women at all. I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling anger & some strong resentment towards them because I've basically been misled & lied to my entire life, but I don't hate them. I realize they are what they are and aren't going to change. It's just jarring to wake up one day and realize the reality you've been sold is completely false.

[–]G_Banger 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That's my point though, you don't need this 180 shift that's like EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN TOLD IS A LIE!!!!

Find a balance between being more assertive and dominant, but still being able to have a certain level of respect for SOME girls. Yeah, there are the girls out there who deserve none, and you should treat them as such. Likewise there are girls out there who are chill af and will be the best "wingman" you could imagine.

Balance my friend

[–]Fafner2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This--there are women I've known in my life who are genuinely good people, though to be fair they did come from hardcore RP cultures. Good women are everywhere, but screening for them is extremely important.

[–]wehadtosaydickety 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Went out on a date with a woman tonight. She does not play sports, she sells labels for a living, she could not flirt, and she chewed with her mouth open (practically like she was about to spit it out at you). She talked about how she wished she lived with her parents because sometimes she is too lazy to cook or do laundry.

This is our world now gentlemen, proceed accordingly.

[–]speed3_freak 2 points3 points  (2 children)

The human condition is enough to interest me. Every single person that you meet has had a whole world in which they've grown, lived, thrived, struggled, and are trying to figure out. They all have different experiences, goals, fears, stories, jokes, and personalities that are at least subtly different than every other person you've ever met, and yes that goes for women too.

I realize that you are probably going through the anger phase right now, and you are pissed because all of these "basic bitches" were using you and you didn't realize it. Keep in mind that they were using you because it is their nature and not because they have some evil mindset. It's just how they've been conditioned, the same way that you were conditioned to be an orbiter.

If you need to hold on to the anger to motivate yourself, then absolutely use that anger and monk mode to motivate yourself, but at the end of the day you shouldn't be mad or blame women. Women are pretty awesome, and if you don't think that then maybe MGTOW would be more suitable for you. Women can be amazing, but a lot of them need a leader of a man to bring it out in them.

99% of them are boring basic bitches with nothing to offer except the slit between their legs.

That's a sad and angry statement.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm on board with TRP, MGTOW etc etc. actually i'm 125% on board with it. This thread does seem a little like a circle jerk, but then again what subreddit isn't? What i'm trying to figure out is.. yeah fuck women, dont need them etc.. but what do you do when you wanna fap? I mean you see a hot ass model what do you do?

NoFap seems like a cult but the general idea behind it is in the right direction but just a little extremist

same with TRP there is a lot of extremists, TRP/we are no different than black women who say 'im independant i dont need no man' men are this and that basically feminists... I agree with TRP but it's turned into HATE women, when you SHOULD be like women have 0 effect on me. I dont hate them, I hate there ways sometimes but when you turn into an angry mob ready to put women's heads on a stick.. you get criticism from the rest of Reddit

Again, i'm not a feminist lol I love The Red Pill, they have the right idea but the hivemind is more hate women than actually putting yourself above women. People only say what they think will get upvotes, not what they actually believe

BRING THE DOWNVOTES.

[–]RidleySmith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fantastic man, looking forward to hearing from you in an update post several months down the track too

[–]triperfecta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're ahead of the game just by being aware. At 21 my head was still full of romantic bullshit. Fuck that noise. Welcome to reality.

Just remember there are male bitches out there too; I'm an artist and every time someone finds out I see their eyes light up and the wheels turning as they try to rustle up some way to get you to do something for them for free.

"Hey, can you help me out by drawing xyz.. " from some guy, and "Hey, can you buy me a drink.. " from some female feel exactly the same. Your new awareness will help you avoid being taken advantage of in general.

Try not to give into hate too much. Bitches can't help being bitches. The mindset you're aiming for when dealing with them is somewhere between nonchalance and amused.

Try to have some fun with it. It's annoying enough seeing the way men are viewed by women and the media, so try to laugh it off as much as possible in your private life.

Your revenge is not depending on them at all and living your life.

[–]brahbrah-erson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

found this site around early june at age 18 because I wanted to be a lady-killer but found this to be the thing that turned everything around for me. ever since I digested this it's been no going back. its gotten to the point where I see women as a running car without the hood on it. so predictable, yet they swear up and down that they're different when the only thing that sets them apart is the color. glad I found this when I did, because this is truly one of the last bastions of manhood left in this society we live in. #EnjoyTheDecline

[–]WallstreetBateman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This my friend is the sign right in front of the path to true self improvement.

One thing to remember on your journey is that no matter how many partners these women in your life have, YOU ARE STILL BETTER THAN THEM. The reason is simple. All these girls have to do to attract is open their legs willingly. Do you know how little skill/personality that requires? The answer is next to none.

It's important to remember this because a lot of these women will try to make you feel like less of a man (by displaying their sexual prowess) just in order to get you to spend even more time and validation from you! A lot of the time it's even super subtle ( ex. showing up to work with an obvious hickey on her neck, etc. ). Best thing to do is be on the lookout and hold frame like a boss.

[–]jeruka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A very healthy and truthful revelation to have. If you just observe how most of the women are without the sex appeal, you'll pretty often find that there is nothing of value to them. They have nothing to give you apart from sex and sexual gratification can be achieved with porn and masturbation. Of course they and the white knights will try to shame you for doing that but who cares.

I'm pretty sure that if the sexual attraction wouldn't be there, men wouldn't have almost anything to do with women. Of course women would still need resources from men.

[–]plenkton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's perverse when men who want to explore and innovate look to women for support/guidance.

While men and women do benefit from each other's existence, we only benefit the other by succeeding in the path unique to our gender.

You got to let them know what kind of MAN you are so they know what kind of GIRL to be. (MAN: leader GIRL: follower)

[–]slimcoat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That last part may sound sexist

Nah, it sounds real. Welcome to the red pill.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP...don't worry. It gets better with age. I never believed that saying but honestly, after turning 30, my mind has changed in what seemed like over night. I now can laugh when I get rejected because I have tons of women eye fucking me all the time. Granted, those women are normally in the 28-40 range but none the less, pussy is getting thrown at me. I'm not even that great IMO. Maybe a 7 on a good day, 175lbs, 6'. I do work out so I am not fat at all. More of a slim frame but you can tell I am in shape. Receding hairline and all. My main chick is 27 and I constantly get to laugh when she has to stare down competition. I have even told my main that line from Patrice Oneal show..."It's not you against that one slut....it's you against all the sluts". She now understands this saying now that we have gotten older. And what's great is that I am in more control of my "horniness". But this could be that I have a couple regulars so I have that abundance mentality. But then again, I wouldn't even be bothered if I didn't have regulars. I would still be good to go.

[–]41divorcedandfree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife of 20 years just had an affair with an alpha at her work. She used to talk so much trash about this place and the guys that frequented it. She was to dumb to even realize she proved everyone here right. I see the light and I am working at a record pace now to catch up. I look forward to the rest of MY life now.

[–]rossiFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only guys I know who think women are "really boring" are gay.

Just sayin'.

[–]J_AsapGem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dudeeee.. i feel your pain man, i cringe when i look back, DUDE I USE TO APOLOGY FOR SHIT I DIDN'T DO! lol. was so pathetic man, but " was blind but now i see! " now see women for what and who they are.

[–]paynehouse 4 points5 points  (13 children)

See I don't understand this sub. We preach about taking women off of a pedestal but then we try so hard to fuck them. Seems an awful lot like we value them.

[–]weiry6922 6 points7 points  (3 children)

If your main goal for self improvement is to fuck woman then you will never stick with it. This is a point that separates men that have truly digested the pill.

[–]paynehouse 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Then apparently this sub is made up of 99% of people who have not truly digested the pill, as you put it, because 99% of this sub's content revolves around improving yourself in order to fuck women.

Self improvement for yourself alone is more of a MGTOW idea.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to improve solely for myself. It's just that I realize when I do make these changes, getting laid will become something that happens much easier for me.

[–]weiry6922 4 points5 points  (0 children)

None of the posts I read say 'Go out and lift, read, eat clean, improve your job prospects and maybe you will be able to improve enough to be able to fuck that girl'. All the ones I read are about improving yourself, for yourself.

I guess maybe it depends on your own interpretation and what you personally want to take away from TRP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

My goal is to get myself to the point where I don't have to go to great lengths to get laid. I feel like for most men, the best version of themselves will have women throwing themselves at them.

[–]paynehouse 2 points3 points  (2 children)

But getting yourself to that point, in and of itself, is going a great length, no?

I don't mean that you have low SMV, I mean that merely admitting that you're willing to change yourself for a woman is enough to say you've put them on a pedestal because it means they are worth it.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you work harder to earn money to buy a better car do you have cars on a pedestal or do you just want to enjoy a nicer car? Dudes don't suddenly lose their sex drive and go gay because they've learned about bitches, they learn not to suck up. The mere want to fuck a woman is not equal to pedestalisation, they are distinct. Wanting to fuck a chick is healthy behaviour, thinking she's perfect because of it isn't.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you do it because you are worth it. Recognising that sex is a need is not the same as pedestalizing the women that provide the sex. I need protein, so I buy a steak. I don't put that steak on a pedestal and worship it, it's only a steak. I throw that sucker on the grill and enjoy it. Plenty of steaks out there. So with women. No need to worship at their feet, but no need to avoid them either. Enjoy them for what they are good for (sex, but some women are good for more than that), enjoy your male friends for what they are good for, enjoy your meals, your business, your hobbies and interests.

Since sex is a need, working out rationally what will fulfill that need is not ceding power. TRP says it is the opposite, because women are attracted to men that have personal power and independence, and repelled by those that lack power and are dependent. Win-win, it seems to me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sex is a pleasant side effect of becoming a man. The PUA culture is what you're thinking of, with women as an end goal.

[–]BucketOfSunshins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh, I think you're too specific in your title. Women don't have a monopoly on being boring. People, in general, are boring.

[–]Fafner2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good job finding this place, and good luck on the weight loss. Always stay positive and put yourself as the center of attention.

[–]thisornothing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, definitely. Think I realised that with the last girl I was with. She spoke a lot about her hobbies - how much she liked games, comics, books, etc. It was like drawing blood from a stone to get her to talk about any of that though. The only conversation topic with her was around her shitty part-time retail job, and the bullshit gossip around it. I didn't even fucking know these people.

The terrifying part was, she was studying science. Did she ever talk about it? Nope.

[–]YOU_ARE_SO_DUMB_AYY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This resonates so much with me. Thanks for the write up.

[–]CornyHoosier 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'd guess this stems from being raised by a single mother

Is this a thing? I've heard it mentioned a lot here on TRP but was curious if there was any actual science behind it? I myself was raised by a single mother and the stories we all share sound very similar. My childhood was fine for the most part. I had a place to live, plenty of food and I know she loved me and tried to provide for me the best she could.

That said, all of us have said around our early-to-mid-twenties we started to figure things/life out and we became much more successful. I'm curious if it's better to have been raised by a single mother or a two-person family with a BP father.

[–]golgynat0r 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Its better to be raised by two-person stable family with a decently RP father than to be raised by single mother.

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