Red Pill TheoryMeeting People 101 (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

TL:DR Approach everyone without judgment, use demographics and your interests to best pick where to meet people, be a regular, don't use alcohol as a social crutch, and act on impulse.

Asktrp is frequently filled with questions about meeting people and approaching, but there is never much comprehensive said on the subject. Most of the time people just say "Approach five women a day!". While good advice, there is more to consider to increase your success in building a social circle and meeting women.

Meeting People 101 is a compilation of advice I've given and received on the matter. It is not exhaustive or all inclusive, but should offer a great starting point for many.

Approach Everyone, Not Just Women. And more specifically, not just women you find attractive. Focus on meeting people. Lady spilling her life story on the subway? Engage her. Young skater kid at the pub? Engage him. Seemingly crazy homeless guy outside your favorite watering hole? Engage him.

Rid yourself of judgment and engage with everyone. When learning to connect with people it's helpful to talk with people different than yourself. Stop trying to weigh who people are through appearance and start learning people first hand. The more varying the people you talk with the wider range of people you will be able to connect with.

You may be asking what this has to do with sexual strategy. It's simple: social proof. The ability to connect with even those very different from yourself shows value and leadership. Social acumen is an indispensable trait.

Know Your Demographic. Know what type of people you are looking for and figure out where to go that best fills that demographic. Dont go to clubs and bars every weekend then wonder why you can't find a girl who isn't promiscuous, or go meet people at the mall and wonder why everyone seems so vapid. I've found the best way to find the demographic you're looking for is to...

Make Use of Your Hobbies and Interests. Find social situations centered around your favorite activities. For example, I juggle, slackline, and do other object manipulation type of activities. I found a group that meets almost everyday at my local uni that does these things, and I post up there meeting like minded people. Strangers consistently come up out of interest in my juggling, and wouldn't you know it, some are attractive women. From there its only a matter of time before I'm teaching a cute thing how to properly toss my balls.

Other examples would be reading groups if you're a reader, or open mic nights at coffee shops of you like poetry, or the climbing gym if you like climbing. If you don't have hobbies, get some you boring schmuck.

Use Convenient Locations. I often talk to women at a local book store. Not only am I a fiction lover (hobbies and interests), the bookstore has a coffee shop, which can make a date-close immediate and easy. Find social locations near date locations.

Be A Regular. Some of the best social proof you can have on a date is to go somewhere where people welcome you as a friend. Make connections with your bartenders and waiters. Get on a friendly first name basis with as many people as possible, in as many places as possible. Appearing to seemingly know everyone is quite becoming.

Don't Crutch With Alcohol. Everyone can get drunk to lubricate their social skills, but no one gets drunk and actually improves them. Relying on alcohol in social situations can actually lead to social anxiety when you are not inebriated. Learn to connect without the aid of the bottle.

Engage Impulsively. This is non-negotiable. If you don't learn to start conversation with strangers on that initial impulse, you will always be stuck behind a wall of hesitation. Make eye contact with someone? Just fucking say hello. If you do not give yourself time to think about it, there's no way you can build that over-investment and wuss out.

Lessons Learned: Developing a social circle and meeting women isn't rocket science. Place yourself in locations and situations that align with your personality and the type of people you're looking for, and make connections with as many people as possible.

[–]tabber87 154 points155 points  (12 children)

Just from personal experience I can say engaging with crazy homeless people in alleys and outside bars is not always the best idea.

Other than that, solid post.

[–]the_turtle_abides 23 points24 points  (3 children)

These people generally won't stop rambling.

[–]TRPShill 2 points3 points  (1 child)

One that walks around my neighborhood will remain talking to you after the conversation is over and you are both walking away facing opposite directions. Even when you are well out of earshot. And thats after he's just conversationally dominated you for twenty minutes.

[–]parodixicalreaction 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah man, he's just on his Bluetooth

[–]icecow 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Nod. I talked to a transvestite homeless type guy and really he wasn't that bad of a guy to talk to, was down to earth. Talked to him time to time. There was a public embarrassment factor I didn't care too much about. I just wanted to get over it. But then sometimes he would approach me out of the blue in a social setting and I didn't know what the fuck to do. I didn't want to introduce him. I didn't want to throw him under the bus. I said "Hey, I'm talking to these guys right now" and he left feeling blown off and the guys I was talking to (perhaps) though I had an underhanded homosexual agenda. I have no clue what they were thinking but they cut out on me. I didn't care. They were just random people I was talking to. However, I started to be terrified that trans guy would show up at any random moment. If you talk to a homeless/trans/anyone-one-else-considered-dubious-by-society you better know how to act (I still don't) if they later approach you or whatever-they-are-about will come across as being part of your past.

[–]HonestMaskProprietor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I assume he is like the majority of homeless guys I have traded stories with, I imagine he is just lonely. People never approach or talk to the homeless unless its for the 5 seconds necessary to throw change at them, and their opportunities to meet new people are mostly restricted to other homeless. Just treating him like a human being could have left a lasting impression on this guy. When he later saw you with a group of people he didn't know, he approached and hoped you would somehow drag him into the group.

Or any of a number of other explanations for his behavior, who knows. There are all sorts out there.

[–]Trpidation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you'd introduced him he would have immediately considered you an ally and probably would have helped you in the future, but who knows just how much help someone like that can be. I probably would have done the same in your shoes but my better judgment says to just treat everyone as people and that if you're friendly with everyone that liking will come back around. Who knows though.

[–]Kalidane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chat to some of the homeless guys in my area.

All I've found is that they are no more or less interesting than other people, after factoring in mental health issues, drugs and alcohol. Which are all things for people in suits too; it's just harder to see.

[–]Solitary_Wolf 14 points15 points  (2 children)

it can make for some great stories though.

[–]stonefit 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"This one time, I got stabbed with a heroin needle in the thigh."

[–]bonerfleximus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nothing they say holds any value because they are always in need of something from you. Honestly not interested in hearing half made up sob stories

[–]redditican 84 points84 points [recovered]

One thing I've noticed is that since I passed university and started working the 9-5 grind, it's incredibly hard to find new friends. All my old pals were drug addicts working minimum wage so I dropped them asap, problem is I literally have no spare time to develop a social circle. My entire week is:

wake up at 5am

hit gym at 6am

go work at 9am

come home cook dinner and do chores

bed at 8/9pm

How the fuck do you expand your social circle in full time work? The people I work with are dull as dishwater pasty nerds (I work in web dev) that aren't worth my time.

[–]CallMeJamarcus 55 points56 points  (5 children)

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[–]1whatsazipper 27 points28 points  (2 children)

It's easy to get into a routine that is efficient and effective but completely devoid of social interaction outside of the workplace. In professionally demanding fields it's even worse because people often continue their work and skill building in their time off.

So the way around that is what you mentioned. Trade some of the behaviors that are efficient with ones that spend some time and money in favor of social interactions.

Job provides you coffee? Fuck it, go out for a coffee break, pay the mark up, and flirt with the cashiers. Chat people up.

Just got out of the gym? Head to a burger joint. Then grab some coffee. Retail store nearby? Make it a circuit. If it's anything service related, chances are it's mostly staffed by women. There's no reason not to run some day game.

Make time for fun social events like music and dance. Women overwhelmingly gravitate to such entertainment.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Do this, I do ALL of these things as part of my routine. I have a circuit that lasts about a month, with some places on a weekly or even daily rotation. About 3 spots per day. I'm broke as a result, but I'm not too worried because I am where I am geographically to network like a madman and build social capital.

The seven habits of highly effective people talks about the P/PC balance, and the eisenhower matrix (priority = important/not important + urgent/not urgent). You need to do some of all four combinations every day. Being social is "not important + not urgent" from a productivity standpoint, but it is investment toward future growth.

I also go to the gym 5 days per week and am killing it with leadership in my dept, etc etc. Not to toot my own horn, but the VP pays special attention to how I operate because I am in the office about 1/2 to 2/3 as much as my peers and go to all the happy hours but knock everything I do out of the park.

[–]SonicTRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find it interesting that where you live is based off of gaining social capital. I'd love to see you expand on this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You mention efficient but boring.

I enjoy efficiency, and I'll probably get a lot of shit for this because I'm only twenty, but being an ex-fat/depressed/lowlife loser and now an actualised man at his prime, I know and experienced the value of a productive and disciplined lifestyle.

Is it boring? It's not to me. Wake up early, gym, study, sleep. Everyday I'm better than yesterday.

But I can see how it can be boring to others.

At the same time, most of the activities other people think are "fun" seem boring to me. The cost of going out Halloween clubbing and drinking empty calories and fucking up my entire sleep schedule for the week while pumpin my fists up in an environment where I can't even hear the person next to me -- or my own fucking thoughts -- just doesn't seem worth it to me...

Suggestions? Keep in mind im only twenty so a lot of my " friends" simply don't see the way I do. They think I must go out on Halloween... (As an example)

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[–]moltostupido 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What do you do on weekends?

[–]remyseven 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You have to ask yourself, even if you got a new friend or two... where would you fit them in your schedule?

[–]GluteusMaximus90 15 points15 points [recovered]

Somehow same problem.

Work from 7-3. Workout and eat from 4-6. Sleep. Repeat.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I substitute the gym with bjj 4/7 times a week. Still incredibly physically intensive, but social at the same time and I get to learn shit. If you don't want to cut into lifting, join a barbell club, crossfit, or any group exercise tribe.

It's all about consolidating your time. Cook or prep dishes for the entire week on Sunday so you can spend the occasional half hour in b&n on your drive home. If your situation allows it, walk or bike to work/school (if it'll let you walk through a high foot traffic area). Sunday afternoon, bike to the park and read a book. You can always make time.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children)

You don't need to expand your social circle to include a bunch of acquaintances pretending to be your best friends. That is a subordinate mentality. Those people need constant approval. Find approval within yourself. What we need to do is treat everyone the same. Don't place more value on a smoking hot girl, a nerdy co-worker, or a fat chick. It's about being the best version of yourself with everyone, and if a hot girl sees you being really nice to a fat chick that can go a long way. We need to be reliant entirely upon ourselves and develop only a few meaningful relationships.

[–]DannyDemotta 14 points15 points  (3 children)

if a hot girl sees you being really nice to a fat chick that can go a long way

A long way towards convincing her you're into fat chicks, and not her.

Look, I wish the world was ideal, too, just like you - but it isn't. You can't tell OP to simultaneously not waste his time on people who might not be his true friends, then insist he waste time and effort chatting up women he's not attracted to.

[–]kaiwanxiaode 7 points8 points  (0 children)

if a hot girl sees you being really nice to a fat chick that can go a long way A long way towards convincing her you're into fat chicks, and not her.

Yes. Drop the grenades. If a good looking women sees you hanging around excessively with ugly women and generally low status women, she will infer you are also low status by association.

[–]Paradigmond 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There's nothing wrong with being nice to a fat chick as long as its coming out of something you have to give and not something you need. It seems like you are viewing it under the light of social proof, hence it seems like you are in need of something. I think ideals are good when they are correct and grounded in reality. They tell you which way is improvement and without them we would eventually stop growing. Don't discount some next level shit just because it doesn't work the same when you're low SMV. Know where you're heading.

[–]DannyDemotta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont have a problem with talking to old women, unattractive women, fat women, family friends, family members, or other females i wont be fucking any time soon.

I disagree with your characterization that it will do ANYTHING of consequence to convince or entice a woman you're after. You chit-chat with everyone - and go out of your way to make women you arent attracted to laugh, cackle, punch your shoulder, etc. But QUICKLY. Not for 10, 20 minutes, never leaving their company. In and out. You dont linger around women who dont matter - especially if youre 'on' that night.

The woman you're targeting? "Oh hi, i didnt even notice you were here. How are you?" - no added effort. Make her wonder why you're so warm to them and not to her.

Theres no need to psychoanalyze SMV and all this other jibbrish. Thats going above and beyond, muddying the waters. This is as simple as 1) time investment and 2) social proof, as you stated.

[–]Forsoul 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know this struggle all to well, moved to a new town after college.

I put myself out there talking to many people at work, the bar, community activities, etc. Keep in mind I'm a huge introvert, but I saw having nearby friends as a vital NEED and forced myself to do this.

Definitely join new activities/take that invitation to go out when its offered. Its about making connections and new ones only happen in new places.

Its been a little over a year now and I am well known by this small community, because I put myself out there doing odd jobs when I see an opportunity or just making good meaningful conversation with people. I have sifted thru the shit people finally (the ones who didn't actually care about me but just wanted to use me, probably to increase their social status) and I now have a good group of friends. Tho small, its better than what I started with.

Get out there, start sifting. Also good to note, I started a gaming club in town with my boss, it drew in people with similar interests. If what you're looking for isn't out there its up to you to make it.

"People will come, Ray. If you build it, people will come."

[–]Casanova-Quinn 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I'd suggest moving your gym session to after work. The gym can be a good place to make friends, but I assume not many people are in there at 6am. Gyms provide a lot of opportunity to make small talk; asking for a spotter, discussing exercise technique, supplement advice, etc. Just make sure the small talk is with regulars; building a rapport with someone takes time.

[–]redditican 17 points17 points [recovered]

The reason I moved my gym(I go with my brother and he's my spotter) session to the morning was that the gym I'm at only has 2 squat racks and when I go after work around 6pm I had to wait near enough an hour for a rack/other equipment due to other people already waiting to use it before me. It's empty at 6am so I can get a proper workout done. I see your point about more people to talk to but it just extends my workout too long and I just wanna get home, cook dinner (which takes an hour as well) and go to bed. The cook meals on Sunday I've read is an excellent idea though.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i cook my entire weeks worth of lunches on sunday every week. 5lb chicken pot pie today. Delicious. Makes tracking macros really easy too because I calculate it once then eat the same portion 5 days in a row.

[–]PlusGoody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Switch out some gym mornings for evenings doing a social sport -- tennis, hoops, what have you.

Weekends -- social. Sail, golf, go to church, work on a political campaign, etc. If you don't have a lot of friends prioritize women with a big social circle for dating.

[–]Philhelm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean; it's even worse with a wife and kids. I usually go to bed at around midnight just to get some time to myself. I probably average about five to six hours of sleep at best though.

[–]ManNoob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was stuck in a routine too and still am to some extent. My biggest focus has been on scheduling weekend activities. For example, I was never much of a runner but I started signing up for 5k's. Even if I don't meet anyone there it's good just to get out around people (baby steps). Another thing I did was to take a beginners motorcycle riding class and met some cool people this way. I also host a poker night once a month during the winter. The people you invite will tell you about other poker players they know and ask if they can bring them along to the next game. This is a good way of meeting new people. I also occasionally play poker in a nearby casino. You meet some interesting characters at the tables and it gives you some good stories to tell later on. When you start doing interesting things, people will start to gravitate towards you. But it takes work.

[–]dabrah1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what your living situation is, but throwing parties is never a bad way to meet people. Just find a reason to throw one (halloween, a friends bday etc), and invite everyone you know and tell them they can bring friends. Sift through all the people at the party and decide who you would want to hang out with in the future.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

What do you do between 5am and 6am? Unless your commute to the gym 30 minutes, maybe you shouldn't be putting on makeup in the morning.

What do you do in the gym for 2-3 hours? I'm pretty sure you could cut your training to at most 1hr:15.

Food preparation in the evening is my problem as well, but this guy prepares all his meals in a few hours on Sunday, and enjoys the week!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he's anything like me... 'wake up at 5am' and 'get out of bed/stop hitting snooze' are two different things.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (21 children)

Try to give, not take.

I see people "socializing" because they wanna use the person for something. Don't be that guy, it's obvious to the other person and you'll be known as fake.

If you simply give to a person and socialize with them with no expectations of something in return, you will create a genuine friendship instead of one where you're trying to use each other. People will respond very positively when they see you're not expecting anything in return.

One of the best tips I've gotten on networking with people who have much more to offer than you is to not network. Just show genuine interest in what they do and never ask for anything from them. It'll be much more likely that they themselves will wanna help you without you asking.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that 10 points11 points  (9 children)

Your post was about as helpful as a pyramid scheme seminar. "Be richer than your wildest dreams!" But gives no details about what's actually entailed.

Sure. Don't be a leech. But what do you give?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Give validation/interest, make the other person feel like that they are saying has value and that they are an interesting person for saying it.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

In general, this is key to not being a socially retard, but I think 'give interest' is what you meant to say. Validation is something else.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The easiest and the hardest part of being social is actually giving a shit about other people.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol I wish I could upvote you more

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure. Don't be a leech. But what do you give?

You give them your most valuable resources, your time and attention. You go get lunch with them and listen to them when they tell stories. You share your own experiences and connect with them.

You put in effort and offer your time and attention without wanting anything in return, that's the key.

Maybe you've always done this so it's obvious to you. But looking back I know there was a time when I would strictly talk to people who had something to offer and I gave them as little as possible in return. Adopting this mindset has had a really positive effect on my social life so I wanted to share, and a lot successful people say the same thing. One of the top RP posts is about this idea of giving and not taking (think it's called "talk to everyone you see").

[–]cool_story_bro_taken 1 point2 points  (9 children)

I read mixed advices about this. Some articles/posts say not to give validation easily. Can someone explain this? When to be a 'nice' guy (i.e. validates people) and when to be the 'cool' guy (gives out no validation)? This is so confusing.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Don't give validation. Give interest. Give a smile. Give energy.

[–]Interversity 3 points4 points  (6 children)

What is the difference between 'giving validation' and 'giving interest/smile/energy'?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

New guy: yeah I'm starting up a business

You validating: that's really cool, bet a lot of people want that. Or man I want to start a business, just never have the time. Cool man.

You contributing value: wow, have you considered doing x this way? It may be more appealing to customers, I know I would be more inclined to buy it. Or I've been wanting to start a business, do you have any advice on how you got an llc? I was thinking online but x site is pretty costly

[–]GuidoBandito 4 points5 points  (2 children)

At first glance/read, this seems vague (more than likely my current state of mind: tired, hungry). But, when intelligence is applied, you have great examples. Now to think on these and see how the same principles can be applied to an approach for sexual reasons. Food for thought and tools for application...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I operate in the abuse of vagueness and specifics. It's a love hate tragedy. Glad you understand though.

[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it is implied here that you have to have a broad but not necessarily deep base of knowledge. Every charisma and socializing book you read will say the same. If you don't know shit, you don't know what to ask, how to ask it.

If you know a little, and run into someone who knows a lot, you can learn what they have to say and they will love telling you about it.

[–]648262 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see how your examples are not both validation? The value added example validates, but then adds information for improvement.

I guess you could contribute value by trashing the original idea and saying how it should be done instead, but it strikes me as a difficult way to build a further relationship.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think about where your intentions are.

What I'm saying is your intention should be to find out more about this person and possibly connect with them. It should not to find out what this person has to offer you and then see how you can use them.

This means offering your time and attention to this person without any expectation of something in return. It does not mean simply being a spineless validation machine. If you disagree with them about something, tell them, they'll respect you for being honest. Give validation when you think it's earned.

[–]jaysire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to forget the Ben Franklin effect. Asking for something from a new acquaintance may make them like you more. But that is not the same thing as leeching, of course.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Solid post, OP. Well formatted for readability, and I really wish this could be sent back 30 years to my shy BP self.

Be A Regular. Some of the best social proof you can have on a date is to go somewhere where people welcome you as a friend. Make connections with your bartenders and waiters. Get on a friendly first name basis with as many people as possible, in as many places as possible. Appearing to seemingly know everyone is quite becoming.

This has been a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, some places welcomed me heartily regardless of my new companion, and confirm time and again that this social proof can boost a new date's perception of you tremendously. OTOH, there have been times when the entire staff becomes palpably awkward when I arrive with a new companion. I remember taking a new date to a restaurant where my ex main GF and I were regulars for years. A bitchy waitress who had an obvious jealous thing for that GF spotted us, and in the next five minutes everyone from that section of the restaurant came one after the other, way over to near where we were sitting to rearrange the silverware at the same empty table and indiscreetly stare.

In most cases, having a solid reputation as an amicable customer who is a good tipper brings forth the social proof you're looking for while helping them hide whatever private conflict they may have. Edit-clarity

[–]DarkuSchneider 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post! This is an almost exact blueprint of how I got over my social anxiety and tell the youth I mentor the same thing. It gets easier the more you go then suddenly you are not pushing yourself but running into the social fray without hesitation. Social skills are like other learned skills and even muscle; use it or lose it, work it to grow it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You've inspired me. I've often found myself only approaching good looking women I'd like to bang. Almost as a challenge to myself. For example, my internal monologue would be-

"What are you waiting for? You're going to miss 100 percent of the shots do don't take. What's the worst that can really happen if you approach her. You won't bang her by ignoring her(most likely)."

Something along those lines. But instead, I'm going to engage everyone. Hot, ugly, young, old, whatever. I'm not going to judge a book by it's cover so to speak. We'll see how this goes. I'll test it out tomorrow at the gym and at the grocery store. Thanks.

[–]Shelwyn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you being sarcastic? When you put it that way it actually sounds like a horrible idea haha...

[–]epixs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that attitude but please don't end up banging a fatty hahaha. I'm serious tho, that's a great attitude!

[–]RPRedhead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am working on this. But I'm finding myself trending towards being anti social after all the crazy bullshit with my ex. My confidence in people is very shaken and I'm having a hard time overcoming that. I'm also starting to question if I even want another LTR. Being friendly is hard when you've been shit on as hard as I have. Not sure I'll ever think that people don't suck and are all untrustworthy. Perhaps I'm stuck in the anger phase.

This seems to be good advice. I'm going to try some of this.

[–]RedDreadnought 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. Personally I've found that once you engage with people a few times, it's really easy to forget the anxiety and it becomes more natural.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great. Thanks for this.

[–]Forsoul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Increasing SOCIAL PROOF is the best life hack for attracting women.

My favorite experience: had a fantastic evening last year during hockey play offs. Showed up at the bar, loudly and robustly say hi to my coworkers at a big table, everyone laughs.

Sit at the bar, greet some locals I made friends with along with the bartender making some personal chitchat, everyone laughs. I exchange some kino with the hot girl at bar talking about the game. She melts in my hands, clearly aware I know everyone here and they regard me as Cpt fun-to-be-around.


Be the guy the locals know and like.

[–]Zeparic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

For anyone looking for some material "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a good book, it's been helping me in my social life with every chapter I read. It's all very simple stuff.

And thank you by the way to the people who suggested it. It's amazing how basic this stuff is

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Arouse in others an eager want. Smile genuinely. Remember their names. etc. etc.

[–]rpscrote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a good book

this is the text to read. It's stood the test of time and it's very direct and digestible.

[–]DoerOfStuffAndThings 0 points1 point  (4 children)

But what if you're sick and tired of dealing with stupidity?

[–]Shelwyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you consider stupidity? Maybe that's the problem not everyone has the same priorities you consider important.

[–]LukeMcFuckStick 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What is the point of this comment other than to say on an Internet forum "I am of very high intellect" ?

[–]DoerOfStuffAndThings -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

I'm not responsible for your insecurities.

[–]grngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great advice. Cheers!

[–]notrustled 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two cents here. Thing is, I was struggling at clubs (now I simply don't give a shit about them), but here's what I found really good for me: good karaoke bars.

They're MUCH more fun as a club for a smaller effort. I could go there by myself, sing some songs, and ta-da, somehow I interacted with people effortlessly (and unless the venue sucks that night or something else is up, you're gonna interact with people, I can guarantee it). Sometimes people invite you to sing, too. Also, you can choose your own songs therefore it's much more personal for everyone, and this helped me enjoy these parties much more than some random club shit. Literally the only backside is if you've got some people who really suck at singing and they've got some sexual voice (read: earfucker) what you have to put up with. Well, at least that's my experience, I had some of my best nights out this way. Oh, and did I mention that there's usually hot chicks there who can really admire you if you sing fine with confidence? And more times than not they're hot foreign chicks in case you're at the right place.

All in all, it doesn't matter how goofy the song is or how you're not a Frank Sinatra (hint: most people are NOT Sinatra at all, just gotta have some voice). Most people are insecure about their voices, therefore if you can sing well, it gives you a great advantage. Just give it a try if you like the idea.

[–]rai_geki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Problem is I don't know where to meet people because I live in very small town no hobby possibilities or anything.

[–]UnfappableU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Just fucking say hello.." Hello.. -adele 2015

[–]UnfappableU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hobby is working out but the gym i go to is full of guys. Zero girls

[–]UnfappableU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hobby is working out but the gym i go to is full of guys. Zero girls

[–]nomorelulu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so much more useful and helpful than simply spouting "approach women!!"

Thank you.

[–]techsavy93 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Are you saying dont act on impulse ? Or do act on impulse?

[–]looc22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's saying do act on impulse, otherwise you hesitate.

[–]Thaweed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I study, i work, i go to the gym, i walk my dog, i sleep.

I dont have hobbies, how can i get a hobbie, where is the next hobbie store?

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[–]bobjoe177 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Nice taxonomy- it kinda comes off as robotic. Do people really need these instructions? "Ok guys this is how humans behave now go blend in." I think that people have trouble functioning outside of a highly structured environment and that meeting people goes along with jumping into new situations; being able to improvise socially is more important than anything. Do you guys turn down invites to do stuff if it interferes with your workout routine? The other day I was getting a sandwich and some dude in the lineup invited me to volunteer for an eco-restoration project in the middle of nowhere- so I went and ended having a blast and meeting a bunch of hot ass girls. My main rule for social improv is the same as acting- accept whatever gets thrown at you unless you have a much much (much) better idea that you know will work. It's in the same vein as agree and amplify.

[–]looc22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do people really need these instructions? "Ok guys this is how humans behave now go blend in."

I DO need them because I wasn't raised in an environment that taught me how to properly socialize.

[–]sourpuss_ashkenazi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Be a regular? I thought that made you a predictable beta.