TL/DR: LTR plate didn’t understand why her friend treated her husband so poorly when he bends over backwards for her… Clarity ensues.
My LTP (long term plate) and I were discussing thoughts about addiction and alcoholism and she brought up that she had a friend of whom she believed she calls herself an addict more so because she likes the attention than for actually being an addict. I referenced this video, and noted how most addiction may be a result of loneliness rather than a chemical dependency.
This segwayed into her going as far as saying about her friend that “She had a RX Pill addiction at one point, she claimed to be an alcoholic, and she’s cheated on her husband several times that he is even aware of and still every morning he will have breakfast made for her before she gets out of the shower, even though he works and she doesn’t.” My LTP had nothing but nice things to say about this guy, that he was in good shape, had a great career, and treated his wife like a queen… He cooked, he cleaned, he did everything he could to make his wife happy
(RP truth: Happiness comes from within)
I go “So you’re saying she doesn’t really respect her husband?”
She says “No, absolutely zero respect!”
I say “Well of course she doesn’t respect him, he’s too busy kissing her feet when he should be kissing her mouth!”
(This is referring to a comment in askreddit I saw a couple of weeks ago in regards to “A harsh truth for the opposite sex” of which I felt had some RP gold in it)
My wife brought home a book once for like an 4050 Lit class that summed up everything wrong with almost every relationship I've had and half I've seen. I don't remember the name of the book, but it's about a young black woman post Civil War, and her personal and sexual awakening. She married a successful man she wasn't "in to" because they made a "handsome couple". Her mom drops by. I'll paraphrase in the style of the author.
Mom: Why is you sittin' while your water ain't drawn and your stove wood ain't cut?
Katie: Oh, Momma, Eugene treats me so good, I hardly have to lift a finger around here. He comes home from the store and he'll cut the wood and haul the water, and sometimes he even do the cookin'.
Mom: And does you love him good at night?
Mom: (long pause) You is the dumbest child God ever give me to raise!
Katie: Why, what do you mean, Momma?
Mom: That man should be kissing your mouth, and he kissin' your foot. And a man stay down and kiss your foot long enough, you can't help but look down on him. But, come some day, he gonna look up, and SEE you looking down on him, and you ain't never gonna have another happy day.
I argued that if these addictions her friend had were legit it very well could be because she feels lonely in her relationship because instead of a partner she has a lap dog for a husband, so rather than communicating the husband plays the martyr role because he’s afraid his woman is more fragile than she is and that hes too big of a pussy to call her out, while she does whatever the fuck she wants with no repercussions. ..
My LTP went on to say “Well I don’t know if that’s true, about a guy kissing your feet and women not respecting you for it!”
So I asked her “When you were in HS, did you ever have a guy, or a couple of guys who were head over heels in love with you but you only saw them as a friend, or even like a brother?” (The orbiter)
She of course agreed, “yes, there were some guys who liked me.”
I said “Ok, if you would have let them, would those guys have done your home work? Bailed you out of jail, or essentially do anything for you because they liked you so much?”
She says “well I would never allow them to do those things!”
I say “Regardless of if you would let them or not, they would have probably done essentially anything for you correct?” She agreed that “yes they likely would have.”
So then I asked “Well how come you didn’t date any of those guys? I mean they were nice, they loved you dearly, and in their eyes you could do no wrong… so how come you never went after those guys?”
She said “I don’t know, I guess I always find myself attracted to assholes….”
And I said “Maybe you’re attracted to assholes, or maybe you just prefer a guy who’s going to kiss you on the mouth, and not spend so much time kissing your feet? I’m sure you’ve dated several assholes, however an asshole has very little interest in kissing your feet, especially when he knows he can kiss your lips… (Then I gave her a smooch on the mouth as soon as I said this)”
She replies “You can kiss me anywhere!”
Conclusion: If you want a woman to respect you, stop kissing her feet