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Red Pill TheoryWomen are as shitty as you let them be (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by TRP VanguardArchwinger

There is a lot of Red Pill advice out there that overlaps conventional advice for attracting women. (e.g., “Be attractive; don’t be unattractive.”) For example lifting weights until you have a rocking body, dressing well, grooming well, developing social aptitude, hobbies, skills, becoming professionally successful, well-connected. Being confident. Powerful. Having an awesome life.

In fact, all of that is pretty basic common sense. Everybody knows that all of the above traits will help your chances at having a great sex life, and even the ones that don’t help or help very little still can’t hurt you. In fact, a lot of these practices are just good life habits in general. It’s not surprising to think that a girl might be attracted to a guy who has good life habits and builds an awesome, healthy, successful life using those good habits.

The Red Pill part of all of this isn’t so much the notion that doing that shit is a good idea. Everyone knows exercise is good. It’s the emphasis on how incredibly important all of it is. The traits in those two paragraphs above are the absolute only things that matter to women. Those are what define your status. Your value. Nothing else matters.

All of that bullshit about talking to women, treating them well, having common interests, having compatible personalities, getting along as friends for awhile, then maybe moving things toward sex/relationships later? None of that matters. The only purpose behind the way you interact with a woman is that it signifies your status and value. For example, having a confident, non-socially-awkward personality, carrying yourself with muscular, confident, powerful body language, always being busy having shit to do and talk about – all of that is not, itself, attractive. But these things send the woman signals that the underlying person who has this personality and these behaviors is good looking, successful, social, skilled, and interesting. A valuable man.

Where “blue pill” people go wrong is seeing valuable men have success with women via these interactions with them, then leaping to the wrong conclusion. They conclude that if they do the same things -- talk to women, treat them well, have common interests, a pleasing personality, and get along as friends for awhile -- that this is what is attractive to women. That this will lead to success, just like it did for those valuable, high-status guys. But it doesn’t work. Guys who lack value but interact with women in a pleasing manner either become friends only, or get blown off entirely as creepy.

One might even say that all of this bullshit about common interests, being nice, being compatible, and getting along as friends is completely trivial. If you’re hot, successful, social, skilled, and interesting enough, you can be a complete asshole and women will still fuck you. Sometimes, they’ll even perceive that you’re not an asshole, but are, in fact, a sweet and misunderstood guy. When you’re a valuable, high-status guy, every single thing you do will be seen in the best light possible – even the asshole things. When you’re a low value man, every single thing you do is seen in the worst light possible – even the nice and well-intended things. Women think awesome assholes are funny. Women think low-value assholes are jerks. Women think awesome nice guys are sweet. Women think low-value nice guys are creepy.

Women mirror valuable men. Valuable men are the containers, while women are the liquid that fills the space they are given. Women who interact with valuable guys end up taking an interest in the valuable guy’s skills, hobbies, conversational topics – even if these things never interested the woman before. They suddenly notice how cool those things are and want to learn more. Likewise, when an awesome guy expresses displeasure or distances himself from something she does, she changes her behavior. She conforms to please him.

When a man is low-value, women laugh at the things he does, dub them loser activities, and distance themselves from his interests. This often leads to low-value men instead conforming themselves to try to please women, further signifying their low value. It’s also just plain off-putting. Who wants to fuck a man that acts like a woman?

Many modern women don’t have much going on in the way of personality, hobbies, skills, interests. You’d be hard pressed to pry a 20-something in 2015 away from her cell phone. The lives of most modern women consist of social media, eating out, buying clothes, and “dating” guys. The really deep ones maybe talk about music. They spend their time shallowly reflecting the guys they want to be with, latching on to the lives of their men.

It’s easy to hate them. To look down on them. In fact, The Red Pill encourages a negative view of women. Why? Because when you see women as non-unique, non-special beings, each one defined primarily by how much of a boner her appearance creates, you can approach them confidently, without really caring how things go. Because what’s it matter of one particular non-unique, non-special woman doesn’t fuck you tonight?

We see stories left and right of women acting up, cheating, dumping, divorcing, and generally being pretty shitty toward men who love them. But remember: Women mirror their men. If you’re a high-status, valuable man, everything you do looks like you’re glowing – even the asshole things – and your interests and goals seem downright cool to her. If your value is slipping, everything you do looks awkward and creepy – even the nice things – and your interests and goals look like loser stuff. High value men don’t stand for bad behavior. Low value men let it happen because they have nowhere else to go.

If a woman is being shitty to you, it’s because you’re letting her. She’s reflecting your own shittiness back at you. Women are only as shitty as you let them be.


[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 332 points333 points  (27 children)

If a woman is being shitty to you, it’s because you’re letting her. She’s reflecting your own shittiness back at you. Women are only as shitty as you let them be.

This underscores a subtle principle of TRP ... you are not a victim. The events around you, your relationships, your interactions with women, are all partially your responsibility. Yes, women suck sometimes, but that does not absolve you of fault.

We at TRP reject the "victim mentality" so prevalent in the modern West for this very reason. Pay close attention to this subtlety in TRP theory. Raise yourself up. Don't just get angry, get better.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 121 points122 points  (14 children)

Indeed. When you stop being the victim, you start becoming the artist. You realize that everything in the world around you, including women themselves, are blank canvasses upon which you may paint your vision of pleasure.

  • Build your cave the way you want.

  • Make money the way you want.

  • Train your woman to be the kind of woman you want.

Everything is there for you to shape to your liking.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hell, at the very least you take action. Victims do not act, they are acted upon by those stronger than them

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

But the thing is, what you're talking about is self-belief. Not one thing can you learn about yourself from a book, or someone elses' words. It's great to raise awareness that people can transcend group bullying and the fear of group punishment - because yes, everybody can.

But to think you can do that in a workshop and not through taking risk, being defeated and standing up and doing it all again and again. The great strengths come from devastations of the soul, the great moments of weakness and fear - and the courage to make the comeback. And sorry, you don't get that kind of courage from a dancefloor.

I can smell it, when someone is pretending to feel powerful because someone told them how to do it. It's a flash, it's the eyes, they don't even need to speak. I think a lot of people can.

I mean alright, read the books. But just know there are people who don't really fall for that, and it will always remain a vulnerability

[–]CynicsChoice 7 points8 points  (9 children)

Can you elaborate on "make money the way you want"? I hear this sort of sentiment all the time from veteran RPers and it completely mystifies me (also "making money is easy". Yeah, maybe if you already have the resources, education, and social skills to do it!)

There are millions of people who want to do things that people like to do. All of these people are in the market, looking to get paid to do those things, yet the market cannot support them. Hence, you can't make money doing those things. The only things that make real money are things that a) people don't like to do, but need to be done or b) are extremely hard to do, or many people haven't figured out how to do yet.

Almost every job that actually makes money is something completely fucking dreadful. The remainder have an extremely low percentage change of success - there's only enough money to support a small amount of rock stars, and only the very best make it. The rest will follow the advice of "make money the way you want" and try to be a rock star while waiting tables for their entire life until they give up and start taking a paycheck wherever they can get it. It has to be this way, most of them have to fail. They might even be extremely good, but it doesn't matter, because only the BEST can actually survive doing whatever they want. So sayeth the market.

[–]Benny757 15 points16 points  (2 children)

A 51 year old timer here. Live within your means. You can still have a great life. Making money is great. Under Maslow's hierarchy, you better be taking care of business first. Women are unnecessary if you aren't. You need to get your shit in order. That might mean long hours, 2-3 jobs, but always be improving yourself. If you are a crew member at a Trader Joes, apply TRP principals and be the best effin crew member. Transcend average. Tell yourself, "Today, I will kick ass. and then I will do it again, and again, and yes, forever again." You get to choose to be the best in class. Then others that matter, and with power will notice you. And you will be given "opportunity." And there you see, your SMV (NOT just sexual market value) social market value starts to rise.

Life is not just social acceptance by women (who are all AWALT remember) Life is about those little daily kick ass things you can do to be the fucking best rock star at what you do. All these things you do for you will add up to your net worth and productivity in the system. The system is business, economy, daily life, the machine. Embrace, risk, conquer. This is your LIFE. It is not "her" life. Don't you dare live in "her" frame for you will be miserable, and your relationship will fail miserably. All men, if they are to amount to worthy men, must pursue self-actualization. Today it might mean 2-3 jobs providing for your basic needs. Tomorrow, it might mean reporting on the front lines of war, or you may be doing the fighting. This world is endless. Abundance mentality also lends itself abundance of opportunities or "choices" for where you will determine to take yourself. Abundance in women? For a guy who is deciding to be kick ass and is doing things, I say yes. They don't want you in their frame. You are worse than a dog if you are there. They want to be in your frame. They really do. Getting pulled into her frame is your fault, and your poor life choice. It's a tough lesson.

<Edited for spelling>

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup exactly this. In other words who gives a fuck what a women thinks about you! Build your life the way you want to. Take it day by day. Build for the future. Not for what feels good now. Reals before feels lol

[–]fiddel_fabulous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the mind the world is endless, in reality it is finite.

[–]redestofthereds 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All my life I wanted to be a writer. I didn't know what kind of writer but I just knew I wanted to be one. I never attempted it because I believed that in order to make a living as a writer, you had to go to school and hope for the outside chance that you might land a job at some magazine or that you have to be some sort of lonely starving novelist grinding away on the keyboard.

A month or two ago I decided that I wanted to make a living as a copywriter. Zero experience. No contacts in the industry.

I opened an Upwork account. With only two portfolio pieces that I've done for free I have managed to get a client that was willing to pay $100 to get written content for his newly build website.

My short term goal is to have an income of at least $1000 a week. Yeah it's lofty as fuck but I'm pretty sure I could do it.

Can you elaborate on "make money the way you want"? I hear this sort of sentiment all the time from veteran RPers and it completely mystifies me (also "making money is easy". Yeah, maybe if you already have the resources, education, and social skills to do it!)

Search for a way to make money online by doing what you like. Yeah it might seem like a Moby Dick of an endeavor but trust me, it's very possible.You could do it homie.

[–]1PrinceofSpades 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Granted, I'm speaking from a lunch break at a shitty job right now, so I'm not speaking from personal experience any longer (I miss being the goods provider working my own hours so much), but the point of TRP on this is that those men are successful because they are alpha, and they are alpha because they are successful. It's a vicious cycle that continues to trim away those who bend or break leaving only the strongest left. Those men deserve those positions, because when opportunity finally came knocking, they were already ready for it. Too many people find opportunity first, then try to match it afterwards.

[–]1jcromero 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Philosophy Time: There's a really old question that dates back all the way to the pre-Socratic Greeks about what's called "Determinism". Determinism is the belief that factors outside of our control (the will of God, the ills of the society, a bad economy, etc.). The details of this has heavy impacts on the status of our own personal self.

It boils down to one central question: How can I be truly free if everything around me has already been decided?

In very RECENT philosophy (Zizek's book Less Than Nothing, 2012) we see a new solution. We are both radically free and unfree. Our history circumstance (like patterns of things that we do or where we grew up) determine us. But we're also able to decide exactly how that history affects us.

To speak to your example: Yes, the market is bad. It's a bitter truth that one must accept. But how does that stop you from pursuing what fulfills you? We've all had to work soul crushing jobs. But that should motivate you to improve your life circumstances rather than wallow in misery. Always work towards the dream.

[–]CynicsChoice 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's very much like Dennett saying "stop telling people they don't have free will". Even if you don't have free will, it turns out that a really good solution to the question of how to act (in fact, the solution that evolution has given us) is to act as if you and everyone around you actually has free will. That's the strategic answer to a hard philosophical question.

What I'm not sure of is why chasing dreams is a strategically good choice, in spite of the fact that it looks to be statistically a very dumb move. Maybe it makes sense to invest in some soul crushing job for 5 or 10 years and then explore the world with the money you get from it, and be in a better position to actually accomplish your dreams. But maybe the psychological harm done by that makes it not worth it. Possibly the lack of passion for such a job will keep you from even succeeding at getting it! There are many factors that go into that strategic choice, and I haven't heard them articulated well.

[–]1jcromero 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dennett's view on the mind is pretty important since it's essentially the backbone of American philosophy of mind. The easy metaphor to think about his thought is that the human mind is like a computer: There's hardware and software. However there's quite a few problems with his views, one being uncomfortably submissive to scientific theory (a mirror to how much of pre-Kantian modern philosophy was insanely submissive towards Christianity).

For my on why this is a HUGE problem I suggest checking out "The View From Nowhere". But anyway...

What your second paragraph essentially boils down to distinction between existentialism vs. utilitarianism as ethical systems. Does physical well being outweigh existential fulfillment? I tend to take the modern psychology route, that both are important. A comfortable life with no purpose is ultimately dry and empty. But how can one work hard and sacrifice for one's dream without enough food to eat? It's a balance between both of those.

For career counselors, they tend to advice people to try to fulfill three criteria for an ideal job:

-Matches your interests (which is usually measured by the Strong Interest Inventory) -What you have a skill set in (most people don't have the skill or inclination to be good programmers, for instance) -What your values are (Do you value money? Power? Material comforts? Purpose? Peace? Helping others? Passing down knowledge? etc.)

[–]vostronicle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take sales for example, nearly everyone "isn't a salesman", I don't know if it's the negative social stereotypes or a self concept that doesn't include walking vulnerably into the unknown (I think the latter). But in the right industry sales has almost unlimited earning potential.

Something like sales often isn't someone's dream job or what they "want to do". Some of the richest, most fulfilled men I know are in sales, they are naturally red pill as hell, are qualified up to the eyeballs but arn't working in the field they trained in, why? Because they (and i) realised that doing "what you love" often doesn't pay very well, and is often rooted in childhood roles played in the family (good singer, writer, listener, what your dad did/was interested in). Something like sales can be an avenue to start living your own life and not "being" your profession ("I'm an_______" because it has social value).

Not only that but with it comes the financial freedom to start doing things outside of your usual sphere, experimenting and deciding what you actually enjoy. You choose the meaning you ascribe to your job, it can be an end unto itself or it can be a means to an end, the end being your life, your pleasure, opportunities etc.

You have a history, you can look back and regret or you can "choose" to own what you have chosen, choose yourself, choose your parents, choose your job. All these things are yours anyway, but when you consciously choose them, own them, you access for example resilience from surviving a broken childhood rather than the victim mentality that comes when it "happened to you".

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 13 points14 points  (1 child)

This underscores a subtle principle of TRP ... you are not a victim. The events around you, your relationships, your interactions with women, are all partially your responsibility. Yes, women suck sometimes, but that does not absolve you of fault.

And to complete the thought: the Red Pill man has enough self respect that he won't tolerate those women who suck being in his life because there are always more options. The responsibility is yours because you are making the decision as to whether or not a woman is allowed into your life.

[–]Benny757 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And the options are abundant! Life is not just about women. But a bad woman in your life can ruin it. Life is FULL of opportunity, and full of options. But, what you do with those options...where your hard work and exceptional decision making will take you, who can say?? Could be anywhere. But it is up to you to set the stage, cast off the lines, and set saillllll Girl dumps you, or you dump the girl, experience a set-back (LIKE WE ALL DO), Re-set stage, scrape off the barnacles, smile and laugh at your outrageous effed up self, re-frame for a while, and set sail! Self respect, just like Nightwing above says. Self respect. Fuck em all. Re-frame, set sail, repeat. Only each alone can make it a lovely cruise.

[–]WhyIsYosarionNaked 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This underscores a subtle principle of TRP ... you are not a victim. The events around you, your relationships, your interactions with women, are all partially your responsibility. Yes, women suck sometimes, but that does not absolve you of fault.

Amen. Just because something isn't your fault doesn't mean that it's not your responsibility.