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Field ReportNerds can be Alpha too: FR after half a year down this rabbit hole (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by PrinceBean

TL;DR Summary: Lifting is the only thing that matters. Nerds try to rationalize everything to explain their lack of success with women, but the truth is that we nerds are stuck in our head WAY too much. Acting smart and being a dick doesn't help. Learn to be more fluid.


I’ve been on here for about half a year now. Got started after one of the most crushing rejections of my life and since swallowing the pill I’ve never looked back. First and foremost, a little about myself: I’m in my early twenties and used to be (and to an extent, still am) what most people would consider an archetypical nerd on first glance. The only thing that has really set me apart from your stereotypical nerd is that I had, and continue to have, a huge chip on my shoulder. I used to be skinny, dress lazily, and had very minimal regard for my self-appearance. My modus operandi used to be if you don’t accept me then fuck you, you’re superficial and probably not worth my time. My world flipped when I was strung along by a girl I had asked out almost a year ago and was ultimately rejected. I put my heart out and a lot of resources into courting this girl and admittedly I was hurt pretty badly. Although I’ve been rejected by every girl I’ve ever approached, this last rejection was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was tired of perpetually feeling like shit, like I was unwanted and deprived, and more seriously tired of seeing other guys who were less successful (in every sense of the word) and physically attractive than me have more success with women.

Back then, a friend referred me to TRP. When I took the time to seriously read the sidebar and some of the material on the threads, I made a proactive choice to follow TRP principles. I write now to report on some of the truths that I have independently discerned through my own application of TRP principles and to relate them to a class of guys (nerds) who may not always feel like they can get their questions answered on this sub because others simply can’t relate. My alleged “truths” may not be novel by any means, however, I do hope that by relating my experiences to my target audience this post will serve as a source of first hand experience for other nerdy guys having difficulty swallowing the pill. Anything that I introduce that happens to contradict anything in the sidebar should be superseded by the sidebar. For the rest of this post, fellow nerds, geeks, whatever you choose to self-identify as, I’m talking to you.

When I was younger, my parents had always told me never to worry about girls. They told me to place my studies above everything, and that once I was successful the ladies would just start flooding in. Perhaps your folks used to tell you something similar, which is why you never seemed to care about game until now. Unfortunately, my folks were only partially right. What they didn't tell me was that this was only true if I wanted to marry a gold digger in my 30's and have absolutely no dating or sexual experience as a younger man. My late teens and early twenties have been filled with nothing but sexual frustration because I have been unable to even get a girl to go to coffee with me, let alone touch me. You can imagine the toll this kind of depravity takes on your mental psyche. It only occurred to me in recent years how much of an angsty, bitter young man I had become, and this self realization led me to doing something about it. I didn’t want to believe that being successful with women was so black and white. I used to believe in the fairy tale that women would simply “love me for who I am” and not what I bring to the table, and that it was just a matter of time before I found the right “one.” I waited around for years waiting for “the one” to discover what a special snowflake I was. But when I swallowed the pill, I realized that I was no special snowflake and that “the one” I was waiting for was probably getting plowed at Chad’s apartment on a Friday night while I was home alone.

If you’re the kind of nerd who thinks you will discover some “grand revelation” or “ultimate truth” about how to be successful with women by sticking around the threads long enough, you will be thoroughly disappointed. You can’t get anywhere by sitting in front of the computer and reading Reddit all day, hitting refresh on Facebook all day, or reading every last goddamn Wikipedia page thinking you’re going to learn something no one else knows and that will somehow make you seem smart and interesting. Get off your ass now and go lift, pick up a hobby, or read because those discoveries will never materialize. I know this much because I was you. I’ve been there. As a nerd, you think that almost anything can be analyzed and infinitesimally reduced to some core logic. With almost everything else, you would be correct. Except to reduce what we RPers know as “game” to some basic ascertainable logic is to miss the point entirely. In retrospect, my biggest mistake prior to swallowing the pill was to treat my interactions with women the same as my interactions with other guys. Take it from me, you will never have any success this way. If you’ve honestly read the sidebar then you’ll know that women make decisions based on their feels. This basic tenet of TRP could not be emphasized enough. The point of learning game is so that your approaches will result in a higher probability of success (taking a girl home) and your frame is solid enough to withstand shit tests that are intended to reveal flaws in your approach so that it is easier for the girl to reject you.

Women are not men, no matter how much any woman tries to convince you of an equality between genders. The existence of game in and of itself is a testament to the fact that women don’t respond positively to being treated the same as men. Game is a three part act in which you, the man, need to know how to approach, how to escalate, and ultimately how to close. Where am I going with this? To be a true RPer, you need to have game. To have game, you need to be comfortable with your social interactions. To be comfortable with your social interactions, you need to be fluid and get out of your own head. As a nerd, you are likely neither fluid nor comfortable being out of your own head. In fact, you are probably the typical “over thinker.” Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Before approaching a person—regardless if it is a man or woman—you likely first identify the purpose of your interaction, then envision exactly how you want the conversation to go. I used to do this all the time, and as a result I never used to enjoy small talk because to me, being socially awkward, there was no point. At work, I would be sitting at my computer working on an assignment when a coworker would just randomly come up to my desk to make small talk during a break. I never much responded in kind because I saw the visitation as a nuisance. As a result, this prevented me from generating any meaningful social interactions with people I saw on a daily basis. Don’t do this. In fact, if you’re a nerd still in your early adolescence, learn to be more social now or else it will come back to bite you hard in the ass. Women are governed by feels and to trigger those feels your game needs to be as fluid as water. This means getting out of your head and living in the present. Go up to that girl and make small talk; tell a joke, introduce some ridiculous hypothetical situation and ask her how she’d respond to it. Do literally ANYTHING except sit there and try to map out how your interaction will go. Most of the time, women don’t even care about what comes out of your mouth because they’ve gone an entire day without getting any attention or validation from a guy. They’re simply looking for someone, ANYONE, to be the highlight of their day. Perhaps most importantly, don’t kill a woman’s good vibe. It’s like throwing off the emperor’s groove. Even if you might think a lady is acting silly, keep the thought to yourself and just roll with it. You preserve the tingles and leave open options in the process.

After I started lifting, I noticed that the confidence I gained from being self-assured of my own physical image made me more comfortable talking to women who would certainly be evaluating my SMV. I learned that the subjects of my conversations didn’t matter and that the purpose of small talk was to make a connection with the other person, not to derive some higher truth. In most cases, how I spoke to a girl mattered more than what I talked about. In my younger days, I used to be timid and shy away from any girl that I had a crush on. But this was merely the result of pedestalling behavior. I think nerds have this natural tendency to change their interactions with anyone they begin to develop feelings towards. For me, I used to unintentionally become overly serious and stern with my crushes, as if my subconscious was trying to convey that there was no way I could have feelings for someone I intentionally held at arms length away and treated so frankly and professionally. But the issue is that whenever I subconsciously changed my behavior towards a girl I actually ended up sticking out like a sore thumb. Women can masterfully see through lies and facades, and as a nerd, your social awkwardness towards one particular person only serves to give away your true feelings. But this kind of behavior is the antithesis to being stoic and maintaining an abundance mentality.

Don't overthink anything. To get to abundance mentality, you have to stop with the "target mentality", e.g. telling yourself you are going to go after XYZ girl. Don't do that. Don't be the chaser. Make women chase you. How do you do that? You start by dropping the target mentality and adopting the goal mentality. Women don't want to feel like they are prey being circled by predators. It took me the longest time to figure out that women could pick out my intentions. I used to see PUA techniques as parlor tricks that I just needed to master in order to get laid. Drop the tricks, they're as transparent as day. I think a lot of posts on TRP are overly simplistic. They tell you not to worry about taking Jessica home when you can call up Katie and Linda to come over at 2 am. Sure, don't worry about tonight's pull when you have so many other options. But how do you get those options? Outcome independence isn't something you simply develop overnight, especially when you’re sexually starved and have been putting pussy on the pedestal your whole life. The truth is if you’re already fuckable, that will come across in your SMV. If your SMV simply isn’t high enough, then no amount of PUA tricks or approaches will change the outcome. TRP tells you to never stop approaching, but the truth is that you need to meet the prerequisites of game first, and that assumes having a base level SMV. To repeat the same action over and over expecting a different result is the definition of madness. As nerds, I think we want to rationalize that there are “too many factors” involved in game to reduce it to some simple formula. We tell ourselves this because it makes us feel better about the fact that we’re not getting laid. But the truth is that first and foremost the only thing that matters is--yes, that's right--physical appearance. We’re not getting laid because we look like shit, dress like shit, act like shit, and are just plain shit. We sit in front of our computers watching Naruto or some shit and fap to porn because we can’t get any. We’re not fuckable, end of story. But we can be by lifting. And so begins a new story.

It also took me a while before I finally realized that you can't Machiavelli your way into a girl's pants. And even if you could, as a newcomer to TRP, you're nowhere near experienced enough to begin messing around with that level of plotting. If you’re a beginner, don’t even try to be Machiavellian. It never works the way you think it does and you don’t have the experience to pull it off. I learned firsthand that even when you think you’re being “manipulative”, you actually look and sound retarded, and you’ll kill a woman’s tingles faster than a raindrop in the Sahara desert. When you try to act manipulative—regardless if you think you can actually pull off your scheme, or because you just want to look cool acting like Frank Underwood in front of your bros—people will lose trust in you because they know that if you could pull off something devious, you would. Just don’t do it. You’re not being smart, you don’t look cool, and most of all, you’re not generating tingles. Real tingles come from organic interactions, not pre-canned conversations. As a nerd, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. Intelligence is simply not a metric that women will recognize, partly because no woman wants to feel that she is intellectually inferior to her man. In my own experience, there was only one girl that I plated who had some weird intelligence fetish which had absolutely nothing to do with physical attractiveness. I reckon she was an outlier and not representative of most women, so don’t bank on using your knowledge of thermodynamics to make any girl wet.

I used to think I could do everything myself. Unfortunately the world is set up such that, at some point or another, you will be forced to depend on someone else just to get ahead of the game. Life doesn’t let you escape without playing by its rules, so its better to learn them now. I was a bit of an arrogant son of a bitch that looked down on others for being inferior to me in one way or another. Part of me genuinely believed that if I was at the top of a food chain—be it academically, financially, or career wise—then people would naturally respect me. But this is far from the truth. The problem with being a nerd is that most of the time you don’t really consider other people in your calculations. For you, everything is just decided internally and rationally, and everyone else can go fuck themselves. However, when you take the high road people will resent you simply because you took the high road, and there will be those who will actively work to undermine your success, regardless if it is with business or with women. The point is that if you want to be successful with women, you need to let go of your own view of the world and play the same game that everyone else is playing. That means lifting consistently, dressing better, learning how to be a likable human being, etc. There is simply no getting around this. Sure, you might be that one in a million asshole who strikes it rich and eventually commands the plethora of women you think you deserve. But chances are you won’t be that guy. And for everyone else who isn’t, there’s TRP.

For the last six months I’ve hardly been on here because I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t get anywhere without doing things in real life. That means lifting, approaching, the works. I used to sit on here feeling angry and depressed at the posters who would detail their problems scheduling their plates across different times and days of the week. I used to feel bitter at the fact that I never had that kind of success, and so I shut this sub out of my mind, never forgetting the principles that I learned. Now, I’ve come back because I want my fellow nerds to experience the same level of clarity that I’ve received after making a positive change in my own life. I want my fellow nerds to stop feeling so angsty and angry after reading stories of guys having threesomes with the women of their dreams. I want my fellow nerds to have everything they’ve ever wanted, and more, and never look back like I didn’t. My six months thus far have been a complete 180 change for me, and I’m genuinely looking forward to the next milestone at the one year mark. So to all you nerds who stuck around to read the conclusion of this post because it resonated with you, close the ten other tabs I know you have open with anime, porn, and gaming forums, and get your ass off this computer and go lift you scrawny motherfucker. That Japanese school girl isn’t gonna fuck herself.

To summarize/lessons learned:

-Get off this place and go lift. First and foremost thing that matters.

-Worry about game after you're lifting.

-Get out of your head and start being more social. Be fluid in your interactions; as Bruce Lee said, "Be water, my friend."

-Don't be smart and don't be a dick--cut that Machiavelli bullshit and be more organic. You're not fucking Frank Underwood and you never will be.


[–]2awalt_cupcake 125 points126 points  (21 children)

This is fucking awesome to read my man. As a fellow nerd-in-recovery, this struck several chords. Albeit lengthy, this is a must-read for any intellectual/neurotic RP rookie. Hell, even advanced RPers could use this story as a refresher. It brought back lots of memories for me.

I will critique the following (godamn you got bars, son):

-Don't be smart and don't be a dick--cut that Machiavelli bullshit and be more organic.

  • Don't be smart is correct. No one on this earth besides another man will ever appreciate what you know. Women only care about what you can do. Like a performance.

  • Don't be a dick-- to each his own. Downright attacking a woman verbally or in social-judo of course is shooting yourself in the foot. But dodging shit tests may require some dicking.

  • Machiavelli bullshit is not bullshit. With patience, coordination, and calculated distance from people, you can pull this stuff off.

[–]Veqq 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Don't be smart is correct. No one on this earth besides another man will ever appreciate what you know. Women only care about what you can do. Like a performance.

Smart is knowing how to get what you want - not spitting out random facts that don't affect anything. So street smarts, applied knowledge. What's the point of knowing something if you don't use it, you know what I'm sayin'?

[–]2awalt_cupcake 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That re-iterates the point she only cares what you can do not what you know.

[–]Azothlike 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Knowledge =/= intelligence. Intelligence is how fast you learn, not how much you know.

Girls do not care about intelligence either, for the most part; though most will lie and say they're looking for a 'smart guy' with no reasonable explanation of what they mean. Looks, social skills, and social success(re: job, car, money, friends) are all much more important.

As an intelligent guy, the first thing I had to do was stop acting 'intelligent'. Socially, it ostracizes you in modern US culture and will be a disadvantage if you wear it on your sleeve.

[–]ColdEiric 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Looks, social skills, and social success(re: job, car, money, friends) are all much more important.

Try getting that without intelligence. All of that above requires intelligence to get. Stupid guys do not succeed. You just need an intelligent guy to work hard and intelligently. Girls meet stupid guys daily, and they are repulsed by them daily, repulsed at the thought of carrying their stupid spawn.

[–]Azothlike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOL

All of that above requires intelligence to get.

Yes, that's where I go to refine my wit, meet intellectually minded friends, and broaden my worldly understanding, the gym.

No, it's where I go to improve my physical attractiveness, and where a large number of relatively unintelligent people with willpower can go to do the same.

Stupid guys do not succeed.

What

Perhaps you meant to say 'as often as intelligent guys'. In which case you might have a point. But that does not make intelligence the operative measure of attractiveness.

You just need an intelligent guy to work hard and intelligently.

No, you need anyone to work hard and dilligently. A dumb person working hard and dilligently will be, on average, more in shape(gym dedication), more successful(career dedication), and more attractive than an intelligent slacker.

Girls meet stupid guys daily, and they are repulsed by them daily, repulsed at the thought of carrying their stupid spawn.

You're an idiot. As expressly outlined and detailed above and in my previous post, no, intelligence is not the primary, or even a primary, consideration. If you are physically attractive and successful(even if it's just a successful bank account that your parents gave you), but dumb as a brick, you will have more romantic and sexual success than any intelligent person that lacks those.

[–]HumbleEngineer 9 points10 points  (5 children)

In an extent he is correct about not being Machiavellian. Machiavellism is a skill, trait or whatever of someone very sociable, which knows the ins and outs of the social interactions. Nerds (his target audience) don't know that. I know this is true because I'm still a nerd, to a extend. Being Machiavellism without knowing the ins and outs is trapping yourself in a corner ready to be shot by anyone that sees your intentions.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I would say to those nerds, start studying Machiavelli, internalize, and start practicing.

[–]HumbleEngineer 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Of course. What I meant is that there are other areas to focus first. Machiavellism if done wrong can fuck you up.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good! Let's all fuck up. Sometimes you have to touch the stove to see if it's hot. We learn that way.

[–]tresconik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It isn't like if you study manipulation enough you will never get it wrong. You will fail, but you must choose low risk people who you can afford to fail with.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children)

With patience, coordination, and calculated distance from people, you can pull this stuff off.

I would say that these require advanced social skills, and use of power language which someone coming into this who can't get laid likely doesn't have.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 7 points8 points  (6 children)

You'd be surprised. Some people are born naturals.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Oh, totally. I'd just assume that if you are a natural with Machiavellianism you know it, and can already use it to get laid more easily.

Complete beginners will need to become likeable before they can try and hide secret motivations through charisma and manipulation. Learn the rules before you break them.

[–]CQC3 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Not necessarily. There are people that are naturals that repress their instincts or abilities because they don't mesh with their belief systems or world view. These people know there is a hole in the wall that they could use, but they want to try to get in through the front gate anyways because that's the "right" thing to do. This applies to any type of mindset or skill.

That's why some guys can come on TRP and just shift their whole mind just a bit in certain places and all of a sudden all their problems are dissipated. Just a few bad cogs jamming the whole machine.

Plenty of people have the social aptitude for various levels of machiavellianism, but what most people lack is the willingness as they believe that taken to a point it is ethically wrong.

We see this on a small scale in how many people don't like the idea of "game" because they perceive it as deceitful. Not only do they want love and sex, but they want it to be magical and impromptu. Some sort of special validation that just comes to them, not something that is earned or obtained intentionally.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Man I was raised as a Mormon, and boy does that programming give you some mad cog dis that will fuck up your machine. Minor little programming issues will cause you full blown existential questioning. Holy fuck.

Also the bit about wanting love and sex to be magical and impromptu and come to you. All programming.

[–]CQC3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that last bit was all me a long time ago. I wanted my cake, and I wanted to eat it, and I also wanted it sliced a certain way, and I also wanted it to be kept at exactly 24.5 degrees below room temp, and it should've been made on a sunday. Also, the person making it should have trimmed nails, excluding the ring finger.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'd just assume that if you are a natural with Machiavellianism you know it, and can already use it to get laid more easily.

I'm sure they could but knowing game and woman's nature is key. You can be machivelian in other pursuits such as business and still have an ashy dick and be clueless as to why. Don't assume because they are machivelian ans good at it that they know that they are. When I discovered trp and machivelianism, I was a little off put because the concepts were not foreign to me. they just made sense. At the same time I've been around manipulation all my life. Really everyone has if you pay attention to people's agendas.

learn the rules before you break them

Simply put.

[–]ChairBorneMGTOW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can be machivelian in other pursuits such as business...

Absolutely. I'm feared in my profession. People above me in the org chart know that if push came to shove, in a dispute with me they would be sacrificed to keep me around. I'm sought after by senior execs to solve the unsolvable. People in my line of work, even those I don't know personally, admire and fear me; I've launched a few successful career seeking shit missiles that successfully impacted and detonated.

Meanwhile, I pursued women like a fucking beta. I let friends from my childhood take advantage of my generosity. I naively believed that being nice, working hard and making myself into a good provider would get my dink wet.

It is absolutely possible to segregate your Machiavellian attributes to one part of your life, blue pill me was living proof.

[–]alveoli1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent advice.

Anyone who says machiavelli stuff is bullshit really needs to read 48 laws of power.

[–]Nieben 42 points43 points  (5 children)

Aesthetics is the entry point. The first thing someone will notice and judge you by is your looks.

If you meet the threshold of aesthetics for a person, the next barrier is flirtation. You've got to flirt with intent and be comfortable with yourself.

The next is escalation, assuming your flirtation is met with reciprocation or "ioi"s.

Then it's logistics and potentially plausible deniability for the woman, lest she be judged by her peers. Closing is the final step, then do whatever.

[–]jm51 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Personal anecdote about looks. For a family wedding, I got my hair cut at a hipster joint that had been on the local news for telling wives and GFs to wait outside. It cost about 6 times what my peers would normally pay and at least twice what you'd expect to pay in that sort of area.

I got lots of compliments on how good I looked, not just on the day. Even better, my hair still looks good 4 months on. Was not a short back and sides lol. So 2 or 3 expensive barber visits a year v. 6 to 12 cheapo haircuts a year. No contest.

[–]icecow 4 points5 points  (2 children)

You only get your hair cut 2-3 times a year?

[–]jm51 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I will from now on. It was about 3" off my shoulder after they cut it. As I'm an old fart now, it doesn't grow that fast so it's still not touching my shoulders. It was cut so well that it still looks good.

[–]icecow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do the [sorta] opposite. I found a barber shop filled with young hispanics and black barbers that do 'premium' style cuts. On tuesday they do cuts for $10, I tip them $5 and get my hair cut every 5 weeks or so for $15 bucks. I'm in my late 40s. My hair looks great (not out of place young) yet relivant (I don't wear the cuts my contemporaries wear that date them)

[–]SirCaptainGeneral 51 points52 points  (6 children)

I have been doing some lifting since beginning of this year and put on some weight.

To the nerds out there. I will tell you this, just as all the other people always say. Lifting is definitely the foundation which you need to build on. It doesn't matter if you are starting from ground zero, even a sky scraper is built from the ground.

Self confidence is really something that will shine as your physical appearance improves.

The feeling of adding more plates to the bar and knowing that you've become stronger and better than what you used to be, is extraordinary. The feeling when I hit 100kg deadlift, was actually one of the happiest moments that I remember.

Don't be afraid of the gym. People may judge you, but at the end of the day, you are making progress even just by being there. starting at 5kg, 10kg, or 1kg, none of that matters.

Another thing is, don't be afraid to ask help. At the gym, most people are more than willing to give a helping hand. Look at people's routines, ask questions. No one started ripped and big, most people had their moment of insecurity when they started going to the gym.

P.S This is something for you to think about.

Today, I fucked up one of my set today in the gym while doing bench press. I was on my 5th rep and halfway through my 6th, my strength just gave away. I dropped the bar onto my chest and held it there. I couldn't move, I couldn't get the bar up at all. Guess what? I ask the guy next to me to come over and help me get the bar off . He did so quickly, then he went back to his workout. I was in the middle of the gym when it happened and I am sure everyone saw the whole ordeal. There were no laughing in the background, no snickering, nothing.

Was it embarrassing? You know what, it wasn't. All I did was drop the weight down, then continued my set. The rest of the gym just went on as normal, everyone doing their own thing.

The point is, it's not scary. You're not there to give a damn about what people thinks.

[–]--Visionary-- 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Generally speaking, even if you're the most morbidly obese person, if you're in the gym and trying to work out with 2 lb dumbbells and failing, not even the most ripped dude lifting 200 lb dumbbells will make fun of you.

Why? Because every one of those guys had to be able to lift the equivalent of 2lb dumbbells at one point or another, and every one of those guys knows how hard it is for people to even BE at the gym.

[–]alt323g0 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yep. At worst, they'll think, "wow, that person is out of shape... but still doing better than the 90% of society that doesn't leave their couch."

[–]Casanova-Quinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're not there to give a damn about what people think

My gym attire conveys this mentality. Plain cotton t-shirt, basic sweatpants, and converse shoes. I'm in the gym to lift weight, not to show off my latest Nike "high performance" bullshit (that doesn't lift the weight for you).

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (8 children)

Nerds lack emotional intelligence because they have categorized it as pointless -- at least seemed to have convinced themselves of that point. I disagree that they've learned to ignore the relevant emotions, it's more like they've convinced themselves that fitting in and being part of society is unimportant, and that the world is simply out to get them with their dumb social expectations.

IMHO nerds on the whole have developed this giant victim complex. It's not us refusing to fit in with the group that causes our ostracism -- it's clearly because we're smart and they fear our intelligence. Yeah, that's it.

Do you really think all those "normals" really like Brangelina, Eminem, and Kobe Bryant? Hell no. In the "real" world everyone learns about things, and talks about things that do not interest them for the sake of socialization. Nerds seem to think they're the only ones who find these things dull and pointless -- but here's the trick: so does everyone else! The difference is that normal people are willing to suck it up for the sake of staying in the social graph, while nerds don't. "Normals" acknowledge that in order to participate in this society, there will be a mix of shit that interests them vs. shit that doesn't.

Nerds lord their intelligence over other people, while being generally clueless as to how "normals" operate. They're not people, they're kids who like boring stuff. I'm such a unique snowflake, only I can see how boring all this celeb gossip is -- clearly those dim-witted normal people actually like this shit. If you actually took the time and participated in society at large you'll know as well as everyone else that socialization is a great deal of give and take, and that what people object to isn't your boring interests, it's your complete unwillingness to participate in their boring interests.

I've had the opportunity to talk about things other people are interested in -- the general rule is, if you show interest in what they're doing, they will reciprocate. A lot of the hostility that nerds get from the world at large is simply a direct reflection of the hostility they show the rest of the world.

[–]almostaristotle 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You have a lot of good points about how nerds think others liking boring stuff but then others do like that. If you only take a look at people's fb feed, you will really see a lot of ppl are all about just distracting themselves.

And to that, say you do go about to a group and try to talk about your interests, it then comes of as you showing off instead of actually being honest. And you're back to everyone thinking of you as the snob.

[–]icecow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you only take a look at people's fb feed, you will really see a lot of ppl are all about just distracting themselves.

You are so right. There is a complete culture of people who are obsessed with distracting themselves. I'm sure there's such thing as 'distraction game' that took advantage of this. It should be straight forward to figure out what 'distraction game' would be. Though not a much is coming to my mind out of the gates.

[–]1whatsazipper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you can recognize what people like, and get them to talk about it and contribute your part, you won't really have trouble with people considering you a friend. Cultivate genuine interest.

However, keep in mind, that this is completely tangential to seduction. If anything, to make it seductive, you have to break this rapport with women.

[–]Azothlike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The us-versus-them 'nerd' mentality is a bypdroduct of communal education, where abnormally intelligent or dumb people are ostracized.

Everything you're saying primarily applies to children or young adults. Most 'nerds' grow out of it and become regular introverted adults.

[–]almostaristotle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post has been on my mind for a day now and this comment too.

On further thinking about what you are saying here, you are basically saying "nerds are truly nerds, they are smart and all and can't stand a lot stuff normals are into". Fine. I agree, next you say "normals don't exactly are into all that mtv bs, but are only socializing. Well, what you just did is say — normals are also actually nerds and go home and read about spacex, and the football stuff they blab about is just a facade".

But that is just not the case, i went to engineering college for 4 years and hardly could find something in common with people to talk about except for some movies/tv shows. As a fucking 19 yr old just being myself nerd i was discovering atheism, capitalism, philosophy probably also reading ayn rand at the time and psychology and all i found around me during the break time was passionate debates about champions league. And because i so wanted to be myself i spoke my mind and told them there's this awesome stuff like philosophy to discuss, fuck TCL and you know the rest. I was left to be the weird guy walking alone in the corridors in between lectures and in breaks.

So yea the normals are not closet intelligent nerds, just being normal nope no way — not at all. They're the people who start planning for 31st dec on 1st jan because "that's the shit", "that's what matters" and unfortunately it's not an act, it's the very essence of who they are.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

like Brangelina, Eminem, and Kobe Bryant? Hell no.

I'm sorry to say, but most people do enjoy and like those figures, you gotta realise as a nerd you're an outlier to most graphs. Maybe you'd have a point about some other so called celebrities, but you've chosen some of the creme de la creme, who are good at what they do.

[–]icecow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After a certain critical level of success people like you no mater what. "Bill Gates has charisma." Of course he has 'charisma' because just about everyone on the planet knows who he is. Waldo has charisma.

[–]ParametricMind 17 points17 points [recovered]

As an engineering student, this FR resonates. Many of my classmates have a superiority complex and think their intelligence will bring them female attention. Yes, being intelligent is a great gift, but being intelligent and scrawny as fuck, you're the same to a female as a dumbass who is scrawny as fuck. Physical attractiveness is a huge prerequisite to any successful female interaction (Briffault's law here). As u/GayLubeOil once said of women, "You can't fuck dreams thoughts or aspirations, so why should you care?" The same applies to men. Females aren't going to hop your Johnson just because you can find exact solutions to all second order differential equations. You aren't going to bang a fat chick, no matter what her personality is like.

So as OP stated, get out there and lift. Be cocky and aloof, but keep your integration techniques to yourself- women don't care.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Intelligence isn't the problem in itself, it's the need to constantly prove your intelligence. An insecure dude will overplay his strongest card, and a strength overdone becomes a weakness.

Expose and play upon her insecurities, or just roll with the vibe.

[–]bittr_n_swt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

good read especially the bit when parents said women will come flocking to you when i'm wealthy and have a good career....yeah even before my RP days, i called bullshit or i told them i didn't want a gold digger

[–]alltrueism 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Thank you for this man. I'm always trying to appeal to women intellectually, because that's what turns me on as a nerd.

Reading this, I realize I'm still in denial. I need to take a hiatus to work on myself. Lately instead, I've being the AFC complaining about: how women just kick back and collect validation, can polarize easier than men and still be considered attractive, or how fucked up the online dating world is. (Practically a shot in dark in my area where there's little to no alternative women)

I have yet to attract a girl who says she likes video games by talking about video games.

I'm a nerd, an introvert, and a tall skinny lanky guy who's track history consists of "caretaker" or nurturing women with abusive pasts. While the sex is amazing, everything else burns out due to insecurity.

I'm sick of it. My new year's resolution will be 6 months of monk mode, journal entries, and fucking lifting until it hurts so good.

Thanks for the inspiration dude.

[–]mintegral 6 points7 points  (2 children)

"Be water, my friend." is so on point.

I was on a date yesterday and the girl was talking about herself and it seemed like it was already the 6th big red flag in regards to my personal girl standards. I just stayed stoic, listening to what she was saying, calmly nodding a little bit, still being positive about my world, keeping myself light hearted and let her continue what she was saying. I've noticed that she was opening herself up even much more, the more time was passing. It's like the floodgates were opening, stating "omg, I don't know why I'm telling you this" or "I feel I can trust you" and so on.

It's like she is evaluating if she can trust me, looking for smallest reaction on my side in order to notice if she can continue with the "truth-er truth" and will do it, if she sees that I am an unwavering rock, that nothing can really shock me. It's remarkable what girls are willing to tell you on a first date!

Be water my friend.

[–]icecow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You better lead that to the bedroom (or at least kino for now) soon or you will turn in to an emotional tampon.

[–]mintegral 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean.

On the first dates I give the girls room to expand, in that way I know if it is worth to go deeper in the near future.

Of course you have to know where you are heading in the conversation, you set the boundaries. As I said, I give them room to expand like water but also control the direction I want to go. I don't get attached to what they are saying, so it's like they are fluctuating to me. So to speak: It's me who's is giving them the space and it's also me who is taking it away. And they are still feeling understood and a deeper connection. (It is also a personal preference for me to feel "connected" to a girl, because the sex gets much better. It's just the way I work.)

And it becomes really easy when your mind is on point.

Edit: And kino or physicality is a must. She has to know that you are a man with two balls and not a friend of hers she can whine to. Man to woman interaction is necessary, it's a date.

[–]FearLeadsToAnger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Less Underwood, more Abagnale!

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I agree with most of your post, but this bit is wrong:

-Don't be smart and don't be a dick--cut that Machiavelli bullshit and be more organic. You're not fucking Frank Underwood and you never will be.

And this is coming from a guy who doesn't tend to use much Machiavellianism because my focus is on value of interactions (and I no longer work in an office.) Machiavellian social concepts are not for the low-social-experience person. Just as you said before, lift first then worry about your game.

I would explain that in a different way. I'd say lifting, dress sense and posture all form your base SMV - the SMV a woman sees simply by you being there and nothing else. Game then adjusts that base SMV. There's no point trying to drag a 3 up to an 8. Though I suspect I only rank in at a 7, my game is strong enough that I leave some women seeing me as a 10 and terrified I'm going to wander off halfway through a kiss for a more attractive woman. So game can be a great adjuster of SMV... but frankly, who wants to waste time playing on nightmare mode? That's PUA idiocy where you burn through failures to start out, then proceed to continue to forever have a success rate of around 10%. Fuck that, I like my 80-90% success rate. I only wish the standard of girl game out there was better because it would make my life significantly easier.

Separately from that, it's always great to see another man making serious progress. Also:

That Japanese school girl isn’t gonna fuck herself.

Thank you for the Christmas cheer! Smiled at that one.

[–]icecow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd say lifting, dress sense and posture all form your base SMV

Base SMV: lifting, dress sense and posture

As butt obvious as this is it could be it's own post. 'Base SMV' should a resident term that is thrown around often.

[–]almostaristotle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You articulated this so well.

I was totally like this too (I am 24 now, what's your age exactly? You don't say for some reason) I still am with a lot of "fuck ppl, reason rules all". At times I think if catcher in the rye went straight to my head.

But it's all about calibration right, and it's going to go wrong a lot. It has with me. I've almost lost 2 of my good friends, but then they seldom think or plan about anything else then getting their drinks. So you have to just them out and have no option left.

They got involved with some other people and the other ones despised my rational thought or whatever a lot more. So when that happens even putting any effort in keeping them feels a drain to me. Is there any point in having a conversation when I have to run filters on every word coming out of my mouth so i don't hurt or offend or even plain disagree with anyone of them.

[–]logicalthinker1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think we're conflating nerd and smart and they aren't the same. Nerd is another term for "creepy, ugly, scrawny, kid who like geeky things." It's an entire persona. Being smart is just another character trait.

[–]spurdosparade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This should go to the sidebar.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The first step in Red Pill is to Kill the Beta.

That "phase" includes a lot of anger at first, then a gradual process of acceptance. You cannot advance to other steps until this entirely destructive phase is complete. (destroy all those Blue Pill myths)

Game is an advanced thing to know.

Game is as deep as the deepest thinkers of history, so many man have struggled to comprehend this "magic" of being able to bend reality into your Frame and many fail in fully grasping it.

In the beginning you have no Frame, it hasn't even formed clearly yet, you are still child like and without boundries.

So Frame (containment) is your first step after you Kill the Beta. We often call this the MGTOW stage.

After you have established a solid Frame you can begin to consider using advanced manipulation techniques, but as the OP correctly points out you will likely be over your head dealing with women at this level because they tend to be excellent Game players from the start.

Do this in the order it needs to happen... have patience with yourself.

Hit the gym first.

 

[–]tuilop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very good post ! Most nerd/geek guys have a particular vision of life and especially of social interaction. The sad thing is that even if they have no sexual success, they hamster it thinking that they just have to be successful (like you said). It could work, but it's aiming for a beta bux strategy. It's like busting you ass off aiming for the second place. Again this is not their fault, society told them this during their whole life.

Besides, the nerd guys always think that chads are always morons/stupid people without any drive or long term goals. Just ask yourself why. They believe that there is some kind of "justice" or "balance" between each person.

IMO This is the ultimate fallacy. Why a muscular guy cannot be clever? Why a geek guy cannot be muscular and popular ? Nature has no sense of equality or justice, some people are naturally better in everything than others. That's unfair, but now that you understand the rules (TRP, Game, psychology social dynamics and so on ) you know how to play and most important you know how to win.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (10 children)

Cut that Machiavelli bullshit and be more organic. You're not fucking Frank Underwood and you never will be.

I laughed quite a bit at this. I have ran Machiavellian game most of my life. There is a difference between understanding the Machiavellian principles and applying them. That's the difference between someone who is fit to be an advisor and someone is a bloody general.

Lifting is recommended as always. It's like maxing out your base stats, but if you want to be on top. Learning Machiavellianism is recommended, if not required.

Lifting will not resolve all the problems in your life. It's a good foundation block. The nerds do so well with women, after they get their body together because they had the mind required to push the limits.

[–]PrinceBean[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

"The nerds do so well with women, after they get their body together because they had the mind required to push the limits."

That's precisely the point I was trying to convey. It's not that Machiavellian game in itself is bs. It's that beginners have no business using it because they don't have the experience to know what they're doing to pull it off effectively. I'd agree that after a nerd has swallowed the pill and gotten his body/game together, then he can start experimenting with Machiavellian game.

Also, it's not that lifting is the end-all, be-all answer to everything. As I said in my post, it's only the first and foremost important thing. When that's squared away, lifting should be a given.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Totally.

I couldn't help, but laugh, because I have asked myself "what would Frank Underwood do" before.

[–]1IamGale 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Usually you need a comma before "but" and "because", but in this case if you read it out loud you'll see that you don't need that first comma.

[–]nutty_bi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Red Pill men should learn correct grammar. I also see a lot of there/their/they're confusion here.

[–]Leader0fTheFreeWorld 3 points3 points [recovered]

Your point is correct but not your reasoning: he doesn't need the comma because the two verbs are part of the same clause, not two different clauses joined by the conjunction.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I concur. It was 5 am local time and hadn't slept. Sleep is necessary to function optimally.

[–]Chinny4daWinny 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I have ran Machiavellian game most of my life. There is a difference between understanding the Machiavellian principles and applying them. That's the difference between someone who is fit to be an advisor and someone is a bloody general.

Can you further expand on this? I've always been interested in Machiavellian principals and human psychology, but let morals and the feelings of "this isn't right" to keep me from actually applying them.

An hour ago, I took milk from person next door to me because it expires tomorrow, wasn't opened and most likely the guy has went home for the holidays so this milk isn't going to be of use to him. Thing is, before I did this, I texted one of my friends asking him if I should do this (because my conscious felt bad). I want to learn how to control my emotions, and make the best decisions regardless of morality.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You need to be more selfish.

It sounds like you have nice guy syndrome. Read " No more Mr. nice guy". It does a much better job at explaining it and how to cure it, then I could in a single comment. You could find the eBook on google within minutes.

You should also focus on developing healthy narcissism. It is just another word for excessive self-love. There is a fine-line between loving yourself a great deal and having delusions of grandeur with no remorse. Uncontrolled narcissism can be very dangerous.

Narcissism will allow you to wield the machiavellian arts with less contempt for the feelings of others. Otherwise, it's just knowledge.

[–]Chinny4daWinny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I will start reading that today.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 12 points12 points [recovered]

Since you are bringing up nerds...

We live in a world, where for the first time, nerdy guys can be alpha. Previously if you were not very physically dominant, your place in the social hierarchy would automatically be lower than more... let's say developed men.

Nerds in general, are not aesthetic, they can be creepy, they are not physically dominant. And yes, all of this matters...

However, we now live in an age of technology, where for the first time ever, where Mr Nerd can dominate Mr Alpha Who Benches 350.

In the workplace...

If you are analytical and logical, you have all the skills that are valued in today's modern economy. You can start a website, make an app, trade the stock market, build something 'Alpha Ape' would have no idea where to start with.

The internet is a second chance for introverts to become world beaters. I can sit in my office infront of a PC building an empire without moving, I can outsource to people across the globe, I can earn money that puts me in the top 0.5%, I can take 6 vacations every year, and I can get up at 2pm, whilst I have built a machine that earns me thousands of dollars profit every day.... almost passively.

Now compare that to Mr Average Alpha. He's working his ass off at some $50k a year tops job, he may or may not have kids and debt, his only escape is the gym every day where he can be his true self. Maybe he goes to a bar at the weekend and tries to pick up a few chicks. He takes 1 or 2 vacations a year and has to watch his spending. If he tries to keep up with other people, he will likely become a slave to debt. The average life is general is a struggle without much freedom, to me that is not the good life.

Freedom to me is unlimited money. And that is what the internet offers now. And only the nerds who figure the system out will get it.

TLDR: Nerds have the skills to make more money if they channel their energies. The internet is the biggest opportunity of the current generation. Money is freedom. Lifting/game/etc still matters obviously.

[–]reginass 7 points7 points [recovered]

That's the classic nerd fantasy right there, spelled out plain as day. Hardly ever works out like that though.

[–]hb8only 3 points3 points [recovered]

that is all nice but.. some of those nerds are still unhappy because of no pussy.. and they are intelligent enough to know that escorts are not the same as genuine desire so they just need to lift at the end.. and many of them are unhappy because it hit the bell after 30, so they spend their youth playing with PC and browsing, when Chads were fucking hot babes in the classroom...

[–]letsgetrandy 1 point2 points  (4 children)

That's funny, bro.

At my startup, the CEO is a good-looking, well-dressed man who has excellent social skills and knows jack shit about computers.

We had our Christmas party a few weeks ago, and I got to see all the wives. All the nerds are married to fat chicks. But that one exec over in finance? The one I see in my gym every day, lifting? He showed up with a gorgeous woman, 3 inches taller than him, and hotter than anyone else in the room.

[–]civ_ 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Last I checked we still live in a culture that celebrates founders more than CEOs.

Executives with MBAs can be hired in a week, and damn sure I'd rather hire someone who's charismatic and fit.

[–]letsgetrandy 1 point2 points  (2 children)

If you're going to make that argument, I'm just going to point out that in a startup, there is MAYBE one technical founder — maybe — who got in because he was able to build the prototype.

Every other nerd in the company is NOT a founder. So where exactly does the nerd win in your "culture that celebrates founders more than CEOs". (Which is wrong, by the way, in case you haven't picked up a copy of Forbes lately...)

[–]civ_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Maybe its cause the VC folks I've met do more west coast investing, but this is an era that looks down upon founders without a significant domain advantage. These tend to be nerds and not your average steroid gym bros. Certainly not the average MBA who thinks he can hire a bunch of nerds and give them 5%. That era is over.

In fact, I haven't seen a single team get through a series-A round that didn't have strong nerd credentials (minimum 1+ founding nerds). Note that I said founders in the previous comment. Early hires with 0.x% equity don't count.

That said, its always great to have one founder who's charismatic and good at socialising. Not a necessity these days but great to have.

We're talking about an era where a good 80%+ of the graduating computer science class in most Ivy League Schools end up starting up and closing a seed round within six months.

Also, from my perspective, that finance guy in your anecdote is likely a fit social nerd, who stuck around with the right social circles. He's likely not casual about his craft. You don't get to that level without making sacrifices. Gym bro party guy isn't getting there in today's competitive world.

[–]RedOkra 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Where can I learn more about target mentality vs goal mentality?

[–]PrinceBean[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is actually going to be a follow up post of mine. I realize I never fully articulated the distinction I was trying to make, so keep on the lookout for a future post.

[–]DogInTheBath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is by far the best post I have read on this sub.

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

[–]slimcoat 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The problem with being a nerd is that most of the time you don’t really consider other people in your calculations. For you, everything is just decided internally and rationally, and everyone else can go fuck themselves.

I think you should have bolded this or put it in caps or something. This is the fundamental problem with nerds -- I can attest to it because I was one, and eventually had to start playing the game to genuinely begin enjoying life. They literally have no concept of other people's emotions or well-being, and think that cold logic rules everything. What a horrible awakening it was for me when I realized that cold logic may rule the physical world, but the physical world is in turn forcefully manipulated by the social world. Emotions are a critical aspect of the social world and simply cannot be ignored.

Those who have attempted to ignore emotions and the social world -- such as myself in the past -- have failed miserably at life and will continue to do so until they drop their preconceived notions that intelligence and logical deduction alone can grant them success in all aspects of life, including sex.

Shortly after dropping those notions, I had difficulty watching nerds struggle with the same problems I did. I still do, to an extent, probably because it reminds me of my own previous failures. In the end, though, I've decided not to help them. Nobody was able to help me -- I had to suffer the failures on my own and learn the hard way, so I assume the majority of nerds will, too. Unless they choose to never learn, which is their problem, not mine.

[–]PrinceBean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've come to a similar conclusion myself. I think it's fine if you've ultimately chosen not to help out other nerds. The issue with nerds is that they tend to think they can reason their way out of any problem. However, given that most nerds have probably been sitting on their ass in front of a computer all day trying to learn shit they find on the internet, it's clear to me that whatever it is they think they're learning isn't helping them become Alpha. So let them struggle and find their own way. At the end of the day nerds just might need that cold splash of water that comes from experience so they can get out of their heads and see what reality looks like.

[–]Trpidation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This goes along with stop trying to be "smart".

A tip to nerds from a recovering one in social interactions:

Stop trying to be right all the time. Social interactions are mostly about good feels. If you're that guy who's always trying to correct everyone else that their fact is .02 units off, you kill the vibe and flow for everyone. Like OP said, stop trying to be "smart". Chances are you are a pretty smart dude. But if you're socially retarded, that will get you nowhere.

Fluidity in interactions is key, as OP pointed out. Just let go of your need to always be right, stop trying to control other people's realities. They've got their own lives, it turns out.

Being a nerd has its advantages. You have more knowledge than a lot of "normal" people. If you learn how to communicate that in interesting ways you'll stand out from the mediocrity. The catch is that it requires good social skills. So go out there and get them.

Source: my own damn life. I learned how to operate socially and I'm told I'm the most charismatic person that people have ever met.

Good post OP. As a recovering nerd, it's nice to get reminders like these, and to learn other approaches to life.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nerds were supposed to be early adapters, men with a mission, dedicated their life to one specific aspect.

Nowadays, being a nerd is simple a lame ass excuse for all those lazy, chubby and introvert dickheads. It's disgusting how media presents all those losers (Big Bang Theory e.g.) as winners/cool/hip/trendy.

[–]idgaf- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent post bro and I can relate to most of the things you said, being a nerd myself.

Get out of your head

Getting out of one's head sounds simple but is actually pretty hard. That default stream of thoughts is always going and impossible to shut off.

But one thing that is helping me through it is mindfulness meditation. Basically, every day sit and watch that stream of thoughts until you're separate from it. Gradually it becomes quieter, and easier to snap out of.

Another tip for snapping to the present is focusing on physical sensations, particularly your toes. That's from the Charisma Myth which is a great book and packed with tips.

[–]1egoisenemy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re the kind of nerd who thinks you will discover some “grand revelation” or “ultimate truth” about how to be successful with women by sticking around the threads long enough, you will be thoroughly disappointed. You can’t get anywhere by sitting in front of the computer and reading Reddit all day

Very well written and explained. TRP is a cookbook; don't just read cooking tips and recipes all day, fucking cook! Thanks for this, I've bookmarked it to remind me that game needs to be organic and come from a healthy place.

[–]justreallywantedto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't tell you how much I resonated with this. I spent all day of Xmas sitting alone at home with no invitations just wondering if I am so smart why I am not invited anywhere.

Being smart only gets you appreciated in your field, if you walk up to a girl and think that you can charm her with the fact that mother Teresa was not the good idol everyone believes she will just fall into ur arms. I genuinely believed that this will happen.

I am focused on my career, I love educating myself and people around me.. Yet the dumbest guy in the party had three girls just jumping around him.

Thanks for this post, just the reminder I needed.

[–]drummmergeorge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wait until you discover Japanese girls. they're a whole other world. if you like your epiphany, do like me and study psychology and read books.

[–]CQC3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. After working on game, work/school priorities and lifting, it is up to each man to decide what is best for himself. Everyone's path is different, so be sure to then contemplate what activities are best for you or not.

For some guys, doing extra reading is going to help them a ton, because they need it and if they have a topic in mind that is relevant to their life it is applicable.

For guys like me, I already do plenty of reading, and realize it's a rabbit hole. Inhaling books left and right about anything and everything isn't necessarily any more productive than just playing games all day. If the topic isn't relative or give you some positive feedback, then you'll probably forget that shit too--intellectual masturbation.

Balance motherfuckers.

[–]1Shyrk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post is incredibly self-aware.

It's rare that I truly appreciate the first-person "my-TRP-Journey" posts on here, but yours is intelligently written, very self-reflective, and can serve to help inspire some on their own journey.

Kudos on your progress and improvement, my man.

[–]ShowtimeBrodin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First post here. Been lurking for a while, and this post is quite a gem among all the bullshit here that I wasn't expecting to find. Thanks for taking the time to write this OP, a lot of this helps. I'm going to spare everyone my bullshit personal story, because I need to focus on the future.

Got to keep lifting, I'm only 64kg at 180cm now. I used to weigh 60kg a good year and a half back. My goal is to get at least to 70. Shit is tough, but totally worth it and one of my main goals now.

[–]1IamGale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post, I was reading this and the whole time I kept thinking, "man where does the guy get the motivation do write all this?" Yea that's me, glad to see you're improving. I've been here for a while and I've been lifting for one year and a half.

Still working on the social part. We just have to do the work.

[–]HumbleEngineer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Refreshing. Thanks for posting, I know I needed to remember that.

[–]1kick6 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I used to believe in the fairy tale that women would simply “love me for who I am” and not what I bring to the table

From a certain prospective, women do "love you for who you are." Meaning...you are what you bring to the table.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From a certain prospective, women do "love you for who you are." Meaning...you are what you bring to the table.

they ONLY love you for who or what you are - NEVER for what you are not.. the best is, if they love you because they takes you as hot...

[–]Merica911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great read, but any success stories you can share also?

[–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This was the post I needed to read today. Just need to have patience.

What is the best way to learn game. It's the main area I'm lacking in. Also I need ideas on how to update my wardrobe. I'm an endomorph so never had trouble being 'skinny' but losing fat is not easy for me.

[–]letsgetrandy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also I need ideas on how to update my wardrobe. I'm an endomorph so never had trouble being 'skinny' but losing fat is not easy for me.

Work out and eat right. Muscle works wonders for an endomorph. And wear clothes that fit properly. Nothing baggy or loose.

[–]doctorlw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most important point you made I believe is encouraging people to get out there. You can read theory all day here on TRP, but the reality is you need experience out in the field to actually make improvement. That can only come from mistakes and successes you've made.

[–]DumpmanDumpman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

God this a cringeworthy title.

[–]PrinceBean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soz bro. Perhaps you can write all my future titles for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice for someone who appears nerdy.

I have never appeared nerdy (although I am ethnically half nerd from my dads side and carry those interests) so being smart and flinging out useless bits of trivia does impress girls regularly.

If you look like a typical nerd, don't act smart. If you look like a bruiser, show them you got brains too. If you are Asian/Indian be boisterous and swole. If you are black be intellectual and articulate.

I understand this is written from a nerd perspective so those tips help if you are in fact a stereotypical nerd.

I think the broader more applicable truth you are digging at is, "never be a stereotype."

[–]fap_the_pain_away 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What if you already lift, maxed out your genetic potential even, but you're short so it doesn't matter?

[–]letsgetrandy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At my company's Christmas party, the hottest wife in the room was with a short guy who lifts every day.

Far better looking men were with dumpy fat chicks because they had no SMV.

[–]boomerbux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you man, I hope the other nerds are listening to you. Well written.

[–]RocketManV 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hey, question about the timeline. You've only been on TRP for six months, or you just took six months off of TRP? I couldn't tell.

[–]PrinceBean[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So I've been on TRP for a little over six months, including some unspecified time when I sort of left the sub to sort out my internal game. Timeline doesn't really matter as much as the "truths" I was trying to convey in my post.

[–]RocketManV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was trying to sort out the time you left. It would be insane to think you had left for six months and had already internalized enough of the concepts to take out into the world.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No better way to start off a new year.

I like most of the things in your post. Like you said, adopting a target mentality is excellent for attaining goals and it's what most of us productive types would be used to -- it is however, detrimental to social interactions (not just women). I implore everyone to use the "shotgun mentality". Being a sniper has its time and place (in achieving academic, career, and fitness goals) -- you need that absolute focus to beat them into submission. But in social situations, it is better to be a shotgun -- develop a persona, apply it to every social interaction, and naturally, women would gravitate towards you because you put your "invitations" everywhere -- they all think they have a chance at you.

Moving on...

I very much identify with a lot of the things you are saying -- the overthinking, the naturally narcissistic tendency to feel intellectually and physically superior to most people (just because I'm in med school, that I lift, that I meditate, etc... which objectively speaking, is true haha). Furthermore, I've noticed that ever since I started pouring my blood sweat and tears into my goals, I've became a generally less approachable person and almost antisocial (your example with the colleague coming to your desk is most apt). These are traits that I'd like to work on for the coming year and could use some insight on how you overcame them.

The biggest lesson I got from this post was to go with the flow, and it's something that I know internally, have experienced internally, but definitely need constant reinforcement (via my behavior and action). Looking back, it's clear that my most authentic and smoothest interactions with women end up being me being completely focused on the interaction (as opposed to the scheming/planning that we productive types are accustomed to). However, while I could see this in hindsight, I'm unable to identify the triggers that got me "in the zone". Meditation has helped (and is something I advocate), but I'd love to hear what else you've encountered that helped in the fluidity of your game.

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ultimate conclusion from TRP is to get to a point where you are actually getting off reddit. I myself have gotten to a point where I only check the top threads of the week, and perhaps will write some contributing material when I have time. But the spurt to action is key.

Don't be smart and don't be a dick--cut that Machiavelli bullshit and be more organic. You're not fucking Frank Underwood and you never will be.

Agree to disagree, it's part of who I am and I'm not ashamed of that. If I want to reach the top of a power structure I can.

[–]Nocturnaldepression 1 points1 points [recovered]

Nerds are the alphas in an information society

[–]hb8only 3 points3 points [recovered]

nope.. only those who are big (lifting)

[–]unlockedshrine -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Status, appearance (as in, clothing style), power and attitude are way more important than physical first impression.

Lifting won't change anything unless you're in for dull dolls that only like you because you're conventionally attractive.

Lifting won't change anything either if you got no status, no appereance, no power or attitude.

[–]aherne18 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Doing gym won't make you more attractive, since it's the face that counts. Doing gym, however, will make others no longer feel strong enough to attack you. This is an overlooked fact in red pill theory, but a very important one...