Intro: The title says it all,really.
I wrote a post some time back about a female friend of mine who was cheating on her BB boyfriend; she was more or less celibate with him whilst she fucked a good friend of mine raw. She recently had a major blowup with the guy she was sleeping with, complete with emotional social media posts and a lot of whining on both their parts,none of,thankfully, directed at me.
This reinforced something I came across a long time ago that really needed a real-life example to ingrain: a woman will sleep with you without being in love with you, but it's generally impossible to find a woman who is in love with a man she's never slept with.
The first objection that comes to mind when you think this is that there are lots of couples who save themselves till marriage and are head-over-heels prior to ever having sex. This line of thinking does not take into account the truth of social and biological dynamics. Whenever people who haven't had sex proclaim love, what they're really saying is that they have an invested and practical attachment to the point where they will have sex.
Marriage was designed to be the optimum pay-off for the sexes exchanging their respective values: the woman would give a man sex for, ideally, her first time; the man would commit to the woman for the duration of her life, well past the point of biological utility. Could you call this love? Sure you could...but what's undeniable is the fact that the reciprocity of value exchanged influenced the decision to stay with each other and the "love" was just a practical realisation of the need to hang onto the investment.
These days of course, the chances of you being the first man a woman has slept with are slimmer than imaginable. More likely, you're just the latest in a string of men she's slept with, and when you make your exit, the trend continues
That means that buying into the paradigm that she needs to love you first is a fool's endeavour. The strongest bonder you can ask for is that sweet,sweet oxytocin that gets released during sex. It's regarded as the love hormone for a reason, and the lack of its release, along with the warped dopamine release circuitry that a CC rider has, is one of the primary reasons why you should never enter into a relationship with a slut.
If we are to consider her sex as her prize, then she's already proven that she will give it away for X amount of input. Yet, many men fall into the trap of contributing X+X just for the same "prize."
Whenever you hear the hamstering about her wanting to make sure that what you have is more solid before she sleeps with you, ask yourself this: what are the chances that she's given it away for less in the past? If she's a virgin, then obviously the probability is 0; if she isn't then you rapidly approach certainty with every partner she's had since. You would essentially be paying more for something that has diminished in value.
One of the pillars of this deception is the belief that a woman's time is worth the same as a man's. This is patently false. Your commitment is far more important and precious than you can imagine. If you're giving her this, but getting nothing in return, you're forsaking your own place as her captain and implicitly informing her that what you have is of less value than what she has.
From all appearances, however, a man can love a woman without having sex with her. If we strip away all the conceits, then an orbiter essentially loves the woman he orbits, because he's giving her all the signs and perks of a woman he loves, all the while receiving nothing substantive except teases and carefully phrased glimmers of hope that he'll get sex one of these days. Does the orbiter truly love the woman he's with? Unlikely--but if you were to make an assessment of who invested what and what returns they got, the woman being orbited will always come out on top.
Never fall into the trap of believing that a the rules of investment for men and women are remotely similar.
Summary: It's really in the title. Want more detail?Then read the post.