Dark Theme

246,947 posts archived


TLDR: If you have trouble getting it up and you regularly jerk off to internet porn: STOP. NOW. FOREVER.

This is always an uncomfortable subject, but I think this post needs to be made. There's a silent epidemic that's sweeping through the bedrooms of men around the world, and no one (men or women) like to talk about it: erectile dysfunction from long-term pornography use.

All it takes is a google search of the terms "pornography and erectile dysfunction" or a quick browsing of yourbrainonporn.com and you'll find a wealth of information about this mounting problem.

At increasingly younger ages, men are now readily exposed to more arousing pictures, videos and sounds than ever before. A man can see more tits, ass, and sex in the span of about 15 minutes than one of our distant ancestors would have been able to see in an entire lifetime.

I'm pushing 30 now, but as a pubescent preteen I nevertheless had access to high speed internet in the privacy of my own bedroom, and I developed a habit that stuck with me for 15 years. I loved porn, and there were times where I'd spend an entire evening, sometimes even an entire day jerking off to it. I know I'm not the only one who's done this - it just feels so damn good.

Initially I was a little concerned that masturbating to porn so often would be unhealthy, but the literature I could find online told me the contrary - masturbation is a healthy, safe and fun expression of your sexuality, I was told. It's a great way to relieve stress and feel good without the risks of sex, drugs and alcohol. Awesome, I thought.

When I finally lost my virginity in my late teens, I had trouble getting it up. At first I thought it was the condom. I thought it was uncomfortable and stopped me from feeling any sensation, and that was the reason I couldn't get it up.

Later, I would have trouble getting it up even when trying to go in raw. When I went to a doctor and asked for his advice, he prescribed me some viagra but told me that the problem was psychological and not physical, since I could maintain erections easily during masturbation. He said it was a case of 'performance anxiety.'

I believed that explanation, until I noticed that it happened to me yet again when I wasn't feeling any nervousness or anxiety whatsoever. When that happened, I thought it was because the girl I was with was a little overweight. She just isn't sexy enough, I thought, and I need to raise my standards.

So I did. Eventually, I fucked a girl who was a 10 in my books. Beautiful face, perfectly round ass, great tits, feminine curves - my dream girl, basically. I even popped a fucking viagra beforehand. And it STILL. DIDN'T. WORK. But the two of us had just had a few drinks together - it must be whisky dick, I told myself.

I can't begin to describe the feelings of self-loathing and the impact these experiences had on my ego. My self worth as a man was practically destroyed by these experiences.

I even began to question my own sexuality - is it possible that I was gay and didn't know it? I did some introspection. I certainly wasn't homophobic, I've always been in big favor of gay rights - so it was unlikely I was somehow repressing a latent homosexuality. Moreover, the thought of sex with a man repulsed me. I only checked out women in public, I only jerked off to women, I only ever thought about women in a sexual context.

So I wasn't gay, it wasn't the girls being too fat or ugly, it wasn't the condoms, it wasn't performance anxiety, what the hell was it? Was something wrong with me physically?

Well, I wasn't in particularly good shape at the time, and I drank and smoked cigarettes. I (finally) quit smoking, hit the gym HARD for a couple years, lost a hundred pounds, built a respectable amount of muscle, and for the first time in my life I had 6 pack abs. I was eating healthy, well-balanced meals, sleeping 8 hours every night, drinking lots of water and doing everything right.

My fitness levels went through the roof. I was bigger, stronger, and faster than I had ever been. Gone were the days of being winded walking up a flight of stairs - I could now run a half-marathon with ease and I was hitting PRs in the gym deadlifting, squatting and bench-pressing on a regular basis.

But after all that effort, literally years of doing everything right: it STILL. DIDN'T. WORK. Sex was lousy, I would get hard and then lose it half way through, and my brain would constantly come up with all kinds of excuses for why it didn't work.

If you haven't been there, it's hard to describe the feeling of having a beautiful woman soaking wet on her hands and knees, her ass high in the air for you, begging for you to fuck her, and you just can't do it. You go from feeling like a pimp to feeling suicidal in a manner of a few minutes. It's indescribably disheartening.

Some women thought it was their fault. Others thought it was my fault. But in virtually all cases, they would eventually turn cold and find some other guy who didn't have my problem. And you know what? I honestly don't blame them. Say what you will about oral sex and clitoral stimulation being more pleasurable for girls than PIV, the fact remains: girls want to be pounded, and if you can't deliver, they'll find someone who can.

So what the fuck was wrong with me? I was young, healthy, in shape. My sex drive was higher than ever, and I could stay hard for hours when masturbating. Even after I came, I could get hard again in a matter of a few minutes. In front of a keyboard and a screen, I was a sex machine, but with a woman? Pathetic.

Yet for all these years, I maintained my awful, soul-sucking habit of spending at LEAST an hour or two a day masturbating to porn online.

From a very young age (around 12-13) my brain began to associate computers with sexuality. My brain associated my sex drive with clicking, searching, solitude, voyeurism, and all the other behaviors associated with jerking off to porn. It was if my brain thought that jerking off to porn WAS sex - somehow, the neural pathways developed incorrectly.

And so when it was time for REAL sex, with its sometimes awkward positions, the tactile sensations, the smells, the emotional intimacy, and all the other things that go with it, my brain didn't really understand. I'd get hard at first from LOOKING at the girl, but when it came time to put on a condom and go inside her, it was as if my brain was saying: "Where's the screen? Where is the keyboard? Why is someone else here with you? Why aren't you sitting down? This doesn't feel like the death-grip I'm used to feeling."

I know I'm not the only one who's had this experience. But the fact is, it's embarrassing as hell - not only for the men it happens to, but the women as well who often wonder if it's their fault for not being attractive enough.

But you'll be hard pressed to find a girl who hasn't experienced this. In fact, some girls have confided that this has happened with upwards of 50% of their partners.

And with smartphones in the hand of every teenager, I would predict that the problem is only going to get worse, because by and large society is still unaware of what a colossal problem this is.

I'm not here to preach the virtues of nofap and say that it's for everyone. If you don't have any performance issues with women, then this post isn't for you, but if you do, heed my advice or ignore it at your own peril: the best thing you can do to reclaim your masculinity and start enjoying a satisfying sex life for yourself and your partners is to do the following:


If you're someone like me who's been accustomed to the habit for years, be aware that it will not be a matter of days or even weeks until you're fully healed: it's going to be months. Maybe even a year. Maybe more. But with every day that you abstain from jerking off to porn, you will be one day closer to freedom. With every day that passes, you will be gradually healing yourself.

At this point in my life, I can finally say that my days of jerking off to porn are behind me and I can finally have satisfying sex with a woman without any difficulties getting or maintaining an erection. Sex (even with a condom) is immensely pleasurable in a way that I never thought would be possible at my lowest point.

I mourn the loss of all the years of a potentially satisfying sex life I lost to this horrible addiction, and the thousands and thousands of hours I spent indulging in an activity that did nothing but harm me in spite of the pleasure it brought.

But I can't turn back time, I can't re-live the days I lost, I'll never get all those countless hours back. All I can do is make the most of the precious time I have left on this Earth, and never ever look back.

[–]huge_gap 92 points93 points  (26 children)

Dude checking in that stopped porn and masturbation and saw awesome results. I had to ween myself off and had a few relapses, but it's been 2 to 3 months now and everything seems back in order. Have a hot girl that I fuck regularly and the plumbing is working beyond expectation.

Unplugging makes a huge difference and I feel a lot happier in general.

[–]4dvice 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Sorry for hijacking but I want to ask for some advice regarding this. The thing with porn for me is that when I went nofap I get extremely needy with women, and the chicks can feel it. They use it against me. After fapping I feel a lot more at ease and I can actually have a conversation with women. I quit porn for a year but then relapse because of this. I do get more energy but that just get me very excited and needy around women. Didn't get laid in the one year period when I quit. Then I just got discouraged and relapsed.

[–]huge_gap 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you need to lift, cultivate male friends, work hard at your job or school, and become a more desirable male. For me, I become more focused, attentive, and energetic. I wouldn't describe it as getting "needy" as motivated and positive.

[–]4dvice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anyway, just want to put up a counter argument to this whole nofap rhetoric. It's not all rose colored like people make it out to be.

[–]podgoorsky 1 point2 points  (3 children)

You can always fap without porn. Pornography fucks with your brain, not masturbation.

[–]poochman 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This. Milage varies with nofap so see what works for you. Personally, I get the best results if I masterbate without porn once per week (assuming I haven't had sex that given week).

[–]Neverd0wn 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What do you mean by results?

[–]poochman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In terms of my general mood and also my motivation to open/approach and talk to women.

If it's longer than a week, my mood is generally more irritable and aggitated and, as the commenter above mentioned, I'm also more desperate/needy with women. I'll check my phone more often, text them more frequently, constantly on tinder, etc. I also notice that my standards will lower. I'll be more willing to approach sub-par women in bars and so on. All bad things for me.

On the other hand, if I'm masturbating every day, it's the opposite. I don't care at all about women. I have zero motivation to approach them, respond to their texts reasonably, and set up dates. Also what I do not want.

It's a fine line and I've found busting at least one nut per week works the best for me. I have no idea if anyone else experiences anything similiar so that's why I say milage may vary. Play around with it and see what works best for you.

[–]Boovs4life 6 points7 points  (6 children)

I tried NoFap for 30 days and while i admit i did have more energy and rock hard morning wood, my balls started hurting like hell from not jerking off. And when i finally relapsed after 30 days, i felt this intense pain in my balls. I don't know if anyone else has felt it but it doesn't feel nice and ever since I've been afraid of trying it again. Although i do 100% agree that abstaining from porn is very beneficial if you're addicted to it, i don't know how exactly cutting away fapping can help.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

How about fapping to vanilla porn or your own imagination instead of the hardcore stuff?

[–]huge_gap 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Depends on the person. Some cut it out completely. Others whack it ocassionally to release steam. I don't whack it because I'm serviced regularly by my woman so don't get the blue ball issue. It feels more natural and sex is more satisfying instead of just something fun to do.

[–]Bx76341 1 points1 points [recovered]

Stop masturbating.Also You should try cialis 5 mg . You can get a pill splitter at your local pharmacy or online pharmcy. If the 5mg works well, you can reduce the dose to 2.5 mg on subsequent encounters.I like to order my pills from buy-cheap-rx.com .

[–]Jawxx78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a porn addict and someone who has experience porn-induced ED, i myself have never been able to muster the will do do NoFap. However, I find that simply masturbating to imagination is fine. I track my victories on Fortify.com. It is amazing how I feel more confident, how i connect better with women, and feel more alive when im off porn. I would also suggest to stay away from vanilla porn, because you just end up slipping back into hard stuff.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 3 points4 points  (1 child)

From your start until now how long has it been?

[–]huge_gap 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Like I said 2 to 3 months. Saw results in a few weeks.

[–]okg8869 -2 points-1 points  (9 children)

Also, one main reason I will master bate is if it has been a while, and I don't want to finish to early. Any advice on that? I have heard that cardio can increase the time, but nothing worse than being with a girl and feeling like you going to cum in 2 minutes just because its been a little while

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Some women find it to be a compliment that they made you nut quickly, that they are so damn hot that you just couldn't help it.

You could even frame it that way, "holy shit, that's never happened before, but you're just so damn hot!"

And if your refractory period is short, you'll be good to go again in short order and have more staying power for round two, round three...

You can turn what you see as a negative into a positive.

[–]okg8869 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is what usually happens. First ones a quickie, 5 minute turn around time, then I can go for about 45m. Just figured the first one would cause a girl to giggle or some shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Like I said, turn it into a positive, "oh baby, you're so hot!", or however you want to dress it with your own style/personality.

I usually have the opposite problem, takes what in my opinion is too long, so for me it's, "oh baby, I don't want this to end".

Take that half empty glass and make sure it's always half full.

You got what you wanted, be a little selfish about it. Confidence young man, there are no bad orgasms for men, and you had one, albeit rather quickly. Kind of reminds me of the joke about the guy with the small penis, the girl looks and it and says, "who are you going to satisfy with that little thing", and his response is, "ME!".

5 minute turn around time.

Now you're just bragging. Youth is wasted on the young!

[–]deepthr0at 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Are you conscious of your breathing during intercourse? You tend to nut quicker if your not getting in enough oxygen as your plowing your chic.

I was amazed at the difference of how long I could last just by breathing more and making sure I wasn't out of breath.

[–]okg8869 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is good to know, thanks for the reply

[–]merkmerk73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jerking off to no imagery and minimizing fantasy is totally fine

Even fantasy is probably OK unless you're just replaying hardcore porn shit in your head

[–]huge_gap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard some dudes who come quick have to fap beforehand. I have the opposite problem: takes me longer than the average guy to cum.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 23 points24 points  (1 child)


You get good at the things you practice.

This means you are very good at masturbating to the internet.

Celebrate the fact you became great at that skill.

Now... choose a new thing to become good at...

Try becoming good at sex with women in real life.

You start from zero.


[–]EnlightenedViking 60 points61 points  (3 children)

First step is definitely admitting you have a problem.

I know I have problem - struggling to quit big time

[–]pulsarkid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of guys do. It's especially hard if there's real reasons why you have to live a shuttered/limited life.

Porn is poison.

[–]Slippery_E11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I struggled to quit for 2 years.

Then I put a red rubber band around my wrist. It helped me get past that first week.

[–]redpilldick 107 points107 points [recovered]

I want to stop masturbating. Over the years I've collected nearly a 350gb encrypted "fap folder" thats stored on an external hard drive because it's 2x the size of my fucking macbook's drive. It's disgusting. I plug it in, get my fap in 5-30 minutes depending on my mood, then go about my day. Sometimes I fap before I go to bed to help me sleep, then wake up in the morning and do it before school. It's fucking terrible. I feel disgusting after I do it too. I started with pictures in high scool when I first started fapping. Then a few videos. I wondered how people could fap to videos as it felt weird. Then I couldn't get off to pictures period. Videos ensued. Then I started to need weirder and kinkier stuff to get off. Kidnapping, "rape", bondage, etc.

I have lost 20 pounds. I'm 6' and about 230 pounds. Yeah, I guess I am fat but I have have also been hitting the gym and loving it. I am more confident and people seem so much more "likeable" of me (not that I care). The only problem is the girls. I don't approach, it's my own fucking fault. But I am not scared of the approach itself. It's the escalation. The sex. My blue pill conditioning ruined the sexual aspect of my life. My dad never taught me anything about sex. And porn won't help. I just can't overcome the feeling of absolute nervousness and terror about just fucking a girl. I know I sound stupid, but that is my issue. I am simply scared of being sexual.

Fuck porn man. I am going to burn my fap drive. Tonight is the night. If I want my dick to get wet, it's going to be from another girl and not my hands. Sorry about the rant , but I just needed to vent and I saw this post didn't get much attention yet.

[–]2comment 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Delete that shit, don't keep a scrap. If you need to masturbate (and you will) I recommend doing it in the shower. First, at least you'll get clean, it's private, no porn there, limiting time is easier and it also starts slowly disassociating the bed, your desk or wherever as the "place".

Also, humans are not perfect. Don't go into new habit expecting that, that's self-sabotage. The trick isn't to never relapse but how quickly you get back on track everytime a setback comes.

Nofap and pornfree are ok but some seriously blue pill thinking embedded in there (ie touching yourself is cheating on your gf like some male chastity belt bs).

[–]merkmerk73 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Shower is good because it'll teach you how to fuck & nut standing up.

Which, if you've been jerking off at your chair for years, you're not gonna be able to do

[–][deleted] 14 points14 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]redpilldick 35 points35 points [recovered]

Thanks man. It's hard to not feel pathetic reading that message I just posted but I feel better already. I deleted my entire fap folder and BOTH backups from my other hard drives. Pathetic I have backups of fap folders but fuck it. It's all gone. Years of porn I accumulated piece by piece for the past 6 years is now gone. I think doing this was what I need to proceed with making myself better. I think I'm going to stop touching my dick for a while...

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Hey man, I went through a similar experience and the best thing I recommend is no fapping for two weeks and then consider getting a flesh light. Two weeks of abstaining will be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but stick with it and in two weeks you'll feel so much better about yourself. Fleshlight or hand with generous lube is what I use now, and I avoid porn and arousing content as much as I can. No porn, focus on the sensations and don't imagine anything in your mind when you do it

[–]RedDeadlift 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Another tip if you're banging randoms: use a cheap condom with the Fleshlight. Hopefully, you're only using it once or twice a week at most. And by using the condom with it, you become used to condoms, which are important if you're banging randos.

[–]redparadigm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Excellent idea. Sex with condoms is the bane of my sex life.

[–]RedDeadlift 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice dude! Ignore my reply above then...

I literally just did this last week (deleted it all, including backups). After ~15 years of collecting. I really feel the deletion of it all has finally given me the fortitude I need to stay off it for good.

Nice work.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish him luck. I've been trying to quit porn for 3 years. It's hard. For anyone who's trying to quit, remove all internet time for a while. It's full of triggers. And I can vouch for the face that virtually every aspect of my life is better when I can go a couple of weeks without it.

[–]RedDeadlift 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Delete that drive. ALL OF IT.

I have tried to cut porn for the last 4 years. I had it all on a hard drive. I even put it in the trunk of my car to keep myself away from it. But I would always relapse after about a week and then go on a binge. Only by deleting every single file and throwing away the hard drive was I finally able to get over it. In that moment of 'Select All', 'Shift+Delete', 'Yes', I finally felt power over it, like I conquered something.

Trust me. Delete it all. Just fucking do it.

[–]Theophagist 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Delete it all. Just fucking do it.

DO NOT delete your ex-gf porn. That shit is better the more time passes.

[–]trumpisafaggybeta 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Uh no, delete it. Instead of fapping desperately to some bimbo you once dated, go get your dick wet instead.

[–]Theophagist 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Can't do both? I know I can.

[–]ShounenEgo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lusting over certain exes is oneitis 2.0.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What the hell is ex-gf porn? If I were to film anything it'd be me banging plates. Never considered that to be honest, I might do that.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Yes, for me, quitting masturbation is the way to go. For some reason I have so much more drive to do things and more energy.

Probably because I am not shooting all my drive out of my dick every fucking day

[–]HumpyJiggler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Stay strong dude. Don't be afraid of failing. Well over half the people with addictions relapse. You have to train your body and most importantly your mind. Self discipline is everything in this life. Conquer your own mind and you will be able to conquer the world.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I used to have 2 Terabyte hard drive full of porn. I always wondered what my family would think if I died and they were looking through that hard drive.

[–]elevul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's just about getting your dick wet, why not pop a viagra and visit a prostitute (not necessarily in this order)?

It's cheaper, it's potentially safer and she leaves afterwards, so no drama.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

But I am not scared of the approach itself. It's the escalation. The sex. My blue pill conditioning ruined the sexual aspect of my life. My dad never taught me anything about sex. And porn won't help. I just can't overcome the feeling of absolute nervousness and terror about just fucking a girl. I know I sound stupid, but that is my issue. I am simply scared of being sexual.

Honestly, you need to just mess around with a few average girls (average relative to your own SMV, I suppose). Just get it out of your system. After you have done it a few times, it wont be awkward and weird. Then once you have a chance with a girl you're actually into, you won't need to worry about feeling uncomfortable about it. Speaking from experience here.

[–]Mon_k 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Speaking from my experience I figured that would be the strat; but I can honestly say I've just kinda lucked into every sexual situation I've ever been in.

I'm the same way as OP, I can approach, do great one on one, but unless she initiates something (hence the luck) I just can't get past that last hurdle; it's like the mystery step that no one can explain, you just have to feel.

But all I ever feel in that moment is "what should I do here?" or "whatever you think is a good sign is amplified in your head" with the anxiety feeling of contemplating shoplifting.

I've done the no fap thing for a couple weeks but if anything that just makes me feel more desperate, not more confident. With porn I can at least get some sexual gratification while I wait for the planets to realign.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's why I'm saying mess around with some girls you aren't super into. You will have outcome independence, because who cares if you mess up and don't fuck this average chick? You weren't that much into her anyway. It sounds to me like you are over-strategizing and thinking too much about it. Get out of your head and just go with your first instinct.

The first "reaction" thought that pops into your head comes from the more basic animal part of your brain. Then the "second guessing" comes a moment later from the "intelligent" part of your brain, and you start analyzing and trying to decide if the moment is right, when it has already passed. When it comes to sex, the animal part of your brain knows what to do. Listen to your animal instincts.

The secret sauce is, once you get a feel for this base-animal "who gives a shit anyway" attitude, KEEP DOING IT. Keep up the exact same attitude and instinctual mindset, once you start getting with girls you're more interested in. The combination of "who gives a shit" attitude + animalistic sexual energy is panty melter, and possibly even more effective, the hotter the girl is.

[–]ertertwert 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I have a similar problem. I cum too quickly. I used to masturbate to porn religiously. It's much less these days but I feel that I have conditioned myself to getting off as quickly as possible which of course sucks when you're trying to please a woman sexually.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Me too. I always rationalize and tell her I'm a "round 2 type of guy"

[–]Jigsus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Make a "ms pringles" to resensitize yourself.

[–]golgynat0r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All exactly the same. Now I'm 4 months nofap to see will it make any difference.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (11 children)

I always get shit when I discuss this subject but it's so important

Stop masturbation period. Just stop. Learn what it feels like to starve to hunger for a release. Get your animal instinct back. It will force masculinity on you, force you to feed yourself

Masturbation makes you a caged lion. You are dependent on them feeding you.

You forget how to hunt.

[–]Heyokalol 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I agree with you. As soon as I stop masturbating and watching porn for a few days, I find real life girls much more attractive. I also become much more confident and I'm a lot more willing to take risks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Your hunger comes back.

They spend all their days caging men and keeping our inner beast down. You have to un shackle yourself

[–]2comment 17 points18 points  (1 child)

You get shit because it hits a raw nerve that pretty much triggers an entire generation of men today. Imagine, just 20-40 years back Playboy was enough to get men hard and teenage boys everywhere off. Today it probably wouldn't excite a 12 year old who's browsed half of pornhub and his poor dick took out a restraining order against him.

Porn is so attractive pitfall especially to men because before civiliazation they must have seen a lot of it up close and personal all throughout our evolution.

The alphas got theirs on the regular while the seconds hung back fapping it hoping for scraps. Then there were the complete losers that got nothing but a view.... Of course, that makes porn viewing an inherently beta activity but I've never read comments by the most obsessed porn freaks to give me any indication otherwise.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a reason this Christian based country forbids sex everywhere but never touches porn.

There's no greater subdue method than masturbation. It's the greatest trick in their arsenal

[–]WolfofAnarchy 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yup, stopping masturbation is like a cheatcode into becoming unplugged. It forces all the systems in your body to suddenly have to do something, after 'having sex' each day for the last 10 years.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

And it's HARD

that's the secret. It's hard. Hardest thing our there.

It's ahy most men are so afraid of it.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. Love your mindset man.

[–]hiaf -1 points0 points  (2 children)

As with TRP, don't speak to anyone about it. Maybe your closest friends and even at that just say you read something online and you tried it and it was awesome.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I don't believe in such cowardice.

If I can help one man realize his potential, to not be ashamed of his masculinity, I'll take all the hatred and animosity

[–]hiaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd rather insinuate things and help people reach their own conclusions by influencing them, strips away the credit but that only matters for others.

[–][deleted] 21 points21 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She probably thought he had money. Give that impression off, you would be surprised at what you can get away with.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Hmmm... Porn & Masturbation for me have always been products of depression, bad situations, idleness, etc.

I don't believe it controls anything, but in bad situations it makes you believe it does.

There is this Christian saying "Idleness is the Devil's workshop". Pretty much says it all.

If you start going out, have a full time job you like, then all of the sudden you just dont have time for this bullchit porn & masturbation.

As for the need for sex...That needs to be controlled but its a natural thing.

[–]KermitTheeFrog777 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Can't believe I had to read this far down for someone to make this comment. I've been avoiding porn for this reason for years, and only backslide when I'm feeling especially depressed or anxious. Fix your life first, like they'd tell any addict.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yep. There is this big fallacy going around that porn is the source of all the problems, when the real problem is sitting alone in front of a computer with too much time on your hands.

Unfortunately, the modern lifestyle is often synonymous with that, with too many people bored on a computer AT WORK, and it leads to wanting to jerk off to appease the frustration, boredom, etc.

Just think of a chimpanzee in his zoo enclosure, completely depressed. What do alot of them do? Masturbate. Same behaviour.

I have to say the only time I completely did not want to have sex or fap, is when doing physical labour after-which I am completely exhausted and during which I am busy all the time, or a some kind of job where I am mentally active.

But if you do a boring computer type job, for sure turning to porn is unavoidable. Porn, or whores, or some sexual relationship at work. This is also the point: Porn is just one form of sexual activity. But the point is to ejaculate/have that release which relieves stress. Most people who use porn I imagine, if they had some "fck buddy" in the office, would use them for that purpose if they could. Unfortunately most women will not do this, and certainly not at the workplace (not that its a solution: The solution is to fix the sexual frustration coming from that stress...And thus fixing your life itself. Of course this is damn hard for many of us).

[–]KermitTheeFrog777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES. This brilliant comic about the Rat Park experiment illustrates this point perfectly. It's just another numbing/dissociative behavior, albeit with some differences, being linked to the sex drive.

Rat Park Experiment http://www.stuartmcmillen.com/comics_en/rat-park/

[–]SunshineBlotters 23 points24 points  (4 children)

How long did you have to give up porn before you could get it up normally?

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Not OP, but within a week I noticed a difference. Two weeks after I cut porn I would get it up no problem

[–]bustedcougar 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Same experience with me, as well. I saw a difference at 3 days too, in an earlier attempt when I was with a girl last. 2 weeks and things will be working fine.

[–]bustedcougar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Three weeks and you'll have a hard-on just talking to pretty girls and you'll be so driven that you can't stop yourself from going after them.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A month and I was golden. I felt much better, too. But I completely quit masturbation, too. I thought it was kinda weak to give in to sexual desire EVERY time I have an urge. I thought, you know what, lets not give into it for a month.

[–]evilkenevil 26 points27 points  (0 children)

"There's a silent epidemic that's sweeping through the bedrooms of men around the world, and no one (men or women) like to talk about it: erectile dysfunction from long-term pornography use."

Not to be confused with "My wife has gained 50 lbs. since we got married and porn is all I have syndrome". Sorry, I've been drinking.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (2 children)

Absolutely this. You'd find that if you stopped masturbation and pornography, you MIGHT see an increase in your penis size. If you beaten the meat so much, your erections probably don't have as much blood in them as they should.

Any idiot thinking that porn and masturbation isn't a problem is... An idiot. End of the story.

I mean come on, we are men, we shouldn't have erectile strength problems, erectile dysfunction or inability to orgasm etc until at least age 40, assuming you are somewhat healthy. It is absolutely abnormal to have such a large number of young men with erectile problems. Don't say it's "nerves" or bullshit excuses, it's not fucking nerves. Even if it is (which it isn't) guess where the insecurity comes from? Porn...

And people nowadays think our conservative ancestors were dumb. They were a lot wiser than this generation

[–]redparadigm 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Absolutely this, As a staunch atheist I slowly begin to understand that the "restrictive, primitive and dumb" religions and old world traditions are based on millennia worth of human observation of its own nature.

Notice that all religions frown on masturbation and hardcore keep hypergamy in check.

[–]cheeky--kunt 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Asking man to stop watching porn is like asking a woman to delete her facebook/instagram.

[–]slay_it_forward 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Had an ex try to delete her fb. Lasted 3 days before she had it fired up again. Relapsed on her attention addiction.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I have ever met a woman without a FB and Instagram account. When I was still BP, I asked a LTR to delete hers. She looked at me like I was bat shit crazy.

[–]SnailSwag 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't say I am addicted but I do have a problem when it comes to not masturbating at all. If I don't masturbate at least once a week I notice that I get occasional wet dreams. Should I just deal with jizzing my pants at night sometimes or should I continue to masturbate every so often to prevent wet dreams from occurring?

[–]ChadThundercockII 4 points5 points  (0 children)

let nature flow through you. Do not intervene.

[–]aiguo888 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Porn didn't give me ED but it probably made me (almost) unable to cum from sex and as I'm a visual guy porn and offers much better viewing angles than you'll ever get during sex + the much discussed masturbation death grip. It's great if your girlfriend has stamina but if she cums after 5min it's not that great.

Porn gave me abundance though as I was never thirsty due to it.

Relying on flaky bitches to get your nut or having a live in girlfriend ain't that great imo. Unless you're chad and can pull consistently in a major metro every weekend you'll probably go crazy or lose your sex drive completely if you totally avoid masturbation.

[–]Heyokalol 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"A morning of awkwardness is better than a night of loneliness" - HM

[–]DirtyProject0r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck me. I haven't fucked since the end of January and I jerk off three times a week. That is three times too much a week. It is time to stop this bullshit and actually get a woman on my dick. I can do this shit and I will do this shit because I know I have to. I am relapsing all the time. Will read this post every morning when I wake up and at night when I go to bed to remember myself why I should not do this shit anymore.

Thanks for your post.

[–]evileddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know you are making progress quitting porn when you start waking up in the mornings with a 14-inch murder boner that slaps you in the face and says "morning MOTHER FUCKER"

[–]dr_discount 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You must be very careful if you choose to order medicines over the net. I would suggest that before buying any medicine online you must read reviews of customers first and to gauge if this online store is OK or whatever. If you are interested you can read reviews here at http://drugsmonitoring.com/ Reliable online source where you can find the list of leading world's pharmacies. There you can find statistic and you can choose what is the best for you.

[–]1Entropy-7 12 points13 points  (5 children)

It's all a Jedi mind trick. Porn can desensitize you but so can having actual mind-blowing sex IRL. A few years with a few different women who are good looking, crazy-kinky fuck-minks and having typical sex with typical women almost becomes a chore.

Personally, I've learned to deal with it, deal with porn, deal with fapping, and have never had a real problem with ED.

The only thing about jerking off is that gets rid of a bunch of nervous energy that you could otherwise turn towards doing something productive. Fucking women has the same effect but at least you had that nervous energy to invest in getting them into bed in the first place.

[–]Modredpillschool 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I see nothing wrong with some moderation. I get the impression the guys speaking about this were masturbating thirty times a day to hardcore fetish porn or something.

[–]Copenhagen23 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You can turn girls into crazy-kinky-fuck-minks. My current girl has a low n count and the sex was pretty bad at first. But her desire to please me gave me the green light to go ham.

[–]1Entropy-7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If they are into you, they are trainable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing about jerking off is that gets rid of a bunch of nervous energy that you could otherwise turn towards doing something productive. Fucking women has the same effect but at least you had that nervous energy to invest in getting them into bed in the first place.

Honestly this sums it up

[–]1Su-Wu_Red 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Preach brother. An amazing post. A lot of what you say resonates. I quit porn about 6 months ago and my boner quality is through the roof (heh). I'm not a nofap crazy, but their foundational theories are true. I can even use condoms now. I'm like hallelujah!!

My game usually had to be extra tight because not only did I need to get a girl home, get past LMR etc, but I had to convince her not to use a condom within a few hours of knowing me. Yeah, suicidal I know. And that's why I was like I have to fix this problem of being desensitized to females in the real world. If you are reading this and wondering if this shit works, trust me, it does.

[–]bomi3ster 12 points12 points [recovered]

Fuck you're right. Every time I say I'm going to stop, I'll last for 2-3 days then break. I always justify it to myself, "I don't want to bother the wife. I'm all charged up if I don't. I'll be happier if I just spend a quick 5 minutes touching myself." All these justifications are bullshit, and I know that now... but when I get home from work on Tuesday, and I know I have the house to myself for 5 hours... my retarded brain starts to beat out the smart one, and that shitty shitty logic makes a whole lot of sense.

We have to remove the idea that when we maturbate it's a vitimless crime. Back when I was a kid, and Catholic, I remember a Priest talking to the boys about why masturbation was a sin. I was lucky and had a really cool young priest that was willing to talk to us about whatever. He equated masturbation to a sin of selfishness. It was a sin of only thinking of yourself.

This might be going all over the place, but I sort of feel the same way about weed and alcohol. These things aren't inherently bad, but can become destructive habits if left unchecked.

So following that logic, I have to start a new way of thinking. Masturbation, Weed, and Alcohol are not evil/bad. They can be enjoyed occasionally by most people in a healthy way. I, unfortunately am not like most people. I am likely addicted to masturbation. So I am not able to simply rub one out and go on. I'm an addict, and I need to act accordingly. One little session for me, is as damaging as one little drink for my alcoholic uncle.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Masturbation is alright in moderation. But its even better not at all, I have found. After even a week of not masturbating my energy levels are off the charts. Feels good.

[–]ItchyIrishBalls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Masturbation is a sin is nonsense, but i hear you overall.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)


What is this?

[–]FruitierGnome 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No I just think men see hot women online then look at their aging increasingly less attractive wife and think yeah I'd rather masturbate.

[–]J_AsapGem 8 points9 points  (4 children)

yea bro.. i need help myself, i manage to go 4 days without fapping or watching porn, but lust is literally everywhere, you go outside there is a poster of some slutty girl on it, social media lust everywhere.. ass and titties everywhere, it's absolutely ridiculous man.. what would you guys recommend to help.. anything would be awesome man i really need to get rid of this addiction, and it's sad to see so many young men suffer from the same thing, it happen to me twice so far...just can't get it up my sex drive is healthy but it just won't rise, only with my ex i would have no problem, but if it's someone i just met doesn't go up at all.

[–]RedDeadlift 9 points10 points  (3 children)

It's hard to avoid a billboard/poster, but my advice for other items:

  1. Delete ALL porn files you have (videos, pictures, etc.)

  2. Get off of most social media (especially Instagram which seems to be mostly a platform for female validation on extreme steroids)

  3. If you can't help yourself from browsing to websites, use a free blocker tool like K9 Web Protection. Set it to block all porn sites. Then use futureme.org to email the password to yourself 1-3 months from now.

[–]J_AsapGem 0 points1 point  (2 children)

does the k9 web protection work for cell phones aswell? if not is there any other programs that can be used

[–]RedDeadlift 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. I'm not sure. For some reason, I've never had an urge to look at porn on my phone. Maybe there is an app that does something similar? Worth a Google.

[–]BigGreekMike 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can enable the parental controls on your iPhone and have someone else set the password

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that porn is the problem but masturbation usually is not--unless it's done to porn. Porn addicts: try masturbating with only your imagination, and without imagining scenes from your computer. I bet it won't be easy. But give up porn, decondition yourself from needing that, and you'll start imagining things that get you very turned on again. For me at least, that helped me be able to get aroused without computer stimulation, which helped with women. Just don't make masturbation too regular a habit, obviously, because not satisfying yourself can be very motivating.

[–]Nosleep7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need to stop watching porn. NOW. Thank you for this post CrackityDiggity. I've been going around with those feelings, blaming it on booze or something else..
It's indescribably disheartening as you say.

[–]wakocid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here I am again, old guy. Computers, phones, gadgets TV's they are messing with your minds. Do you "have to " carry your phone at all times because of some "important" call? A call that never really comes but gives you a reason to have your little "crutch" with you. Not only get off the porn, but start breaking the habit of your "crutch". A little at a time, do you get it? I stopped carrying my phone, not even a smart phone at that, makes me feel like a rebel without a cause. Everyone I know, even my customers, just call my landline and leave me a message. They know I can't be reached at their whim.

[–]trp_ocd 3 points3 points [recovered]

I must be an anomaly. I regularly watch porn, jerk off, and fuck my wife and any of my plates at any time. I feel like I peaked in my teens but never regressed. I'm now in my forties. Is hormones directly related to T?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You didn't grow up watching readily accessible porn on the internet, it's unspoken of but porn tube sites are a big killer of erectile performance. There's more to it than furious masturbation and a death grip.

It's not just about the physical affliction, death grip will desensitize your penis for sure, but there is also the psychological aspect, there are guys hitting puberty at 13 or 14 years old and their first experience with seeing a woman naked is googling porn and seeing somebody like Amy Anderssen or Holly Halston who are completely unrepresentative of women you meet in general society. When they go out in the real world they just can't find Miss Average 32C attractive anymore.

[–]LordCruelman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Together with abstinence to recuperate faster I would also recommend to take 30 mg a day of l-Optizinc (Zinc with a little Copper for balance) and 400 or 600 mg of Magnesium Citrate.

These are already scarce in modern food and have a big role in testosterone and sperm production, if you are beating it too much you may get very low on them.

Also eat 3 cans of sardines a week for Omega 3 and Vitamin D and a lot of cooked vegetables from the cabbage family such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, etc.

But keep in mind that these only help speed your recuperation from a nutritional standpoint, it is essential to stop the porn and masturbation habit as well.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah dude. This is a real problem and it sucks.

I've watched porn since the age of 15. My first orgasm was wanking to porn. At one point in my life I could not masturbate without porn at all.

I had my first girl in bed at age 27. But I couldn't fuck her. I've seduced and been naked with 8 women in about 1.5 years, but I've only fucked 3 of them, and only cum with 1 of them. Some of them have been soooo hot and I wasn't able to fuck them. It really sucks.

Not fapping and not watching porn definitely helped me. I don't think I would have fucked any girl so far if I hadn't stopped porn. I stopped masturbation entirely for three months. It all helped I think.

[–]ioncloud9 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I look at it like alcohol. Moderation. You don't go to the bar and get shitfaced and expect to be don juan. I do it at most a few times a week. I've never had a problem with ED. If im getting lots of regular sex I completely stop. I think my dick would fall off if I did it every day for a few hours a day. Thats just insane levels. And like other commenters have posted, sometimes I do it for the post orgasm clarity. Girls can tell when you have that pent up energy from a lack of sex. It reeks of desperation.

[–]Toxicbutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post man. I applaud you for having the courage to speak on this horrible plague sweeping the modern world.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Good post, good replies.

No one is paying me to say this, but if you just can't do nofap (and not everyone can), get a pocket pussy. Fleshlights are awesome, but most anything will do. The goal is to only use that with no other stimulation. It's sort of "training" for sex. Masturbation habits form because they entirely serve your own unique needs. Handicapping yourself with a sex toy can help break the cycle.

(Makers of flesh light, plz send moneyz.)

[–]PIGamer86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. An addiction, regardless of source, is a lack of self control and loss of frame.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

Do you guys have advice to abstain from beating the meat? Still having trouble stopping that...

[–]M0RKET 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The key is thought control. Whenever you start thinking about anything related to porn or masturbating, stop that thought immediately. Not after 5 seconds, not after 2 seconds, but immediately. If you learn to do this, you can abstain for however long you want.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Stay as busy as possible. If you find yourself wanting to beat it because you don't know what else to do, leave the house and go visit a friend or family member. If it's not the right time of day, go for a drive or visit a coffee shop and just hang out for a bit. If you don't want to do that, go for a walk.

One thing that can always be counted on is a cold shower. Fucking sucks but will kill any urge you have.

[–]bittr_n_swt -1 points0 points  (2 children)

what happens if you always beat it at night just before you sleep? This is my weakest point

[–]calantus 1 point2 points  (1 child)


What is this?

[–]bittr_n_swt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"you just dont want too" fuck you're right

[–]Dualmilion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your at hone and you get the urge or whatever have a cold shower

[–]trumpisafaggybeta -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Keep yourself busy-- that's the number one way. Reward yourself by getting laid whenever you want to, and if you're too fat/scrawny to do so, then all the better-- hit the gym and diet properly til you're at the point where sex is an easier and more readily available option than fapping.

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]bittr_n_swt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

that's what i currently do and it's definitely affecting my performance so I'm going to try and cut it out all together for a month and see from there

[–]trauma_gland 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Prior to finding TRP I made a lot of progress in other areas of life and self improvement. A couple years ago I got into meditation and went on a long hard journey of nofap. I was at a point where my average day I was jerkin it 3-4 times daily, sometimes more. Had some embarrassing experiences with girls like OP talked about and I knew I had to make a big change.

Long story short I went on a 165 day streak of no masturbating and it was one of the best things I've done for myself. I lost my virginity during that time and got way more confident and competent with the ladies. You don't have to go on any streak that extreme but for sure limit yourself to once or maybe a couple times a week. No porn. Just feel the sweet sensation of your own home grown meat.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think I was about 13 when I started to watch porn regularly. Over the course of a few years, I went from vanilla solo masturbation of a teenage girl to deepthroating, gangbangs and other fetishes that God certainly will be angry about if he exists and finds out.

When I neared my 17th birthday I changed it up, I didn't have a lot of friends, didn't have a girlfriend and I wanted to get in shape real bad. I got a gym membership and started lifting, refusing to jack off to porn even once.

8 months of no porn later I got a girlfriend, my first real girlfriend. I was the happiest kid in the world, she was a beautiful mixed race girl, little over a year younger than me, great body and face. After 2 weeks of innocent cuddling we were going to have sex. I was ecstatic.

There was one problem, during those 8 month of no porn I slowly started losing my sexdrive. I stopped jacking off alltogether and I hadn't even had an erection whilst awake for 3 months, until I got my girlfriend. My penis doesn't feel tingly, it feels like a lump of meat.

So naturally, when we try to have sex, I can't get it up. Now this girl was way too sweet, without her I probably would have turned into some crazy serial killer because of my impotency. We waited and kept trying, and after over a month of trying almost 3 times a week (and feeling suicidal for the majority of it) I managed to get it up. Since that moment I have had no problem with getting it up with her (we're 21 now, not dating anymore, but we're still FWB).

After we broke up there were a few other girls, and every girl that I have tried it with couldn't satisfy me. With most of them, if I was drunk, I could get it up (secretly popping a viagra in the bathroom, though), but whenever we agreed to a second date where I was sober, I couldn't perform. My body is above average, I'm healthy as ever, but for some reason my penis just does not want to perform.

This story isn't going to finish happily. As I am writing this, I've been pondering over this subject for the past few days. I'm happy this thread was created, because I was going to write one myself.

I haven't watched porn since I was 17, I'm 21 now. I have had ups and downs with my libido, but my testosterone levels are normal, when I jack off I can stay hard for hours, with my first girlfriend that I am comfortable with I can have hours long sex marathons where I come 5+ times, but whenever I invite a girl I don't know that well into my bedroom it is all downhill.

I've gotten compliments on my endurance and size multiple times, I don't have an obvious performance anxiety, I'm always pretty calm. I have a few dates coming up next week with girls from my university and work, which is going to end with sex, probably.

I'm not really dreading the date, I know I can get them in bed with me if I want to, what I am afraid of is that, even though I haven't even masturbated for a few days, my libido is gone, I don't crave sex, and I know I won't be able to perform.

I don't know if it's too late for me or if porn caused this, who knows.. I don't mind eating girls out either, which is usually where I resort to when it goes downhill, but it still really sucks.

[–]lenin1928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the problem is the pent up anxiety and low self esteem. Men run on their ego so if you're not being dominate or striving to be the result will be the loss of things that define manhood. The solution is make more guy friends, develop skills, dominate in an area, objectify women more thoroughly and let whatever power it is regain it's strength. This is really troubling since we all know the dangers of relying on and committing to women.

[–]merkmerk73 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is an incredible amount of evidence backing this up and I can guarantee you that within the next 10 years you'll see a lot of research and studies confirming it

If nothing else because you'll have more generations growing up that started jacking off to internet porn at 10 years old and are completely fucked up

A quick medical survey of doctors and how many patients are coming in claiming ED at young ages should be a big indicator of this. We can't get that information because of HIPAA, I don't think, but a govt study could.

[–]zarus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't take a great thinker to realize that porn is a slide into barbarism, but the exact character of that slide is a much subtler point.

Porn represents, in many ways, a kind of psycho-sexual polyandry, a means of identification with the man on the screen who gets to fuck the woman you can't even touch. It creates a very base, existential sense of solidarity that is of course utterly false and misleading. More broadly, it represents an attempt at a tribal erasure of selfhood by means of the digital economy.

I've probably only scratched the surface, but this is what jumps out at me.

[–]Bodybuilder1453 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Combining TheRedPill with NoFap = BEAST MODE!

[–]LeavingColdSteelWife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The chemical BPA that is in a lot of the plastics we store our food in ans water bottles we drink from and canned foods has been linked to ED. BPA mimics estrogen...and this shit is everywhere.

[–]Upvote_To_The_Left 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went NoFap last year. had a 6 month stretch, relapsed, now on a 3 week run.

Quitting jerking off to porn is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you are insanely horney and need to wank it, do it to your imagination, not to porn or pictures on a screen. Only wank it to your own mind.

I also believe there are great benefits to not jerking off at all, and only saving your spunk for actual partners. I sleep better if I stop jerking off for a week, my mind is clearer, I have more confidence.

Most people will think this is stupid. Think what you want. But realize that wanking your dick to porn is pathetic, and it will program your mind and dick to only get it up to videos on a screen. Trust me on that one.

my story is like countless other guys. I started wanking it at an early age, and slowly my taste and requirement to nut grew darker, weirder, more strange. I was wanking it to tranny porn at one point. That's when I realized I had to change. And I did. I dont want to ever go back to that shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's just like trying to eat healthy. You'll find yourself in a Wendy's parking lot in your car with baconator cheese fries realizing "shit, I have this gooey mess to deal with now, this is not what I want". Eventually that goes from a daily event to weekly. Then monthly. Then rarely. Relapse happens for most people. Enjoy the process, and work on making it to your next PR, just like weight lifting. I'm in that week long relapse phase, and it's really helping just to get that far. My problem is that dopamine rush I get when I look at porn. It's just like Facebook. That's what ruins it all for me. Not necessarily the act of cumming

You're not going to deadlift 400 pounds in a month if you're just starting out, and in the same way you can't expect to quit an addiction cold turkey overnight. That being said don't let this be an excuse for you either. Install porn blockers, put your make it harder to be alone to jerk off (I have my desktop PC in an open area along with others, making it one less tool I can use to abuse. I leave my phone charging outside of my room to help too).

[–]asrp2016 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Guys improve yourself and you will stop spending your time to video games and porn.I used to do these things a lot now having girls and social life I don't have a time for this.

[–]enkae7317 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read every single bit. This post is pure gold. Thanks for sharing.

I agree with the "nofap" strategy. I found, personally, that if I hadn't looked at porn in the last week or so my sexual encounters are much more satisfying and strong.

[–]THEDICKDEALER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I mourn the loss of all the years of a potentially satisfying sex life I lost to this horrible addiction, and the thousands and thousands of hours I spent indulging in an activity that did nothing but harm me in spite of the pleasure it brought."That spoke volumes to my soul brother. Thankyou

[–]AzzyMcGee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Never had a problem getting it up. I watch the most degenerate fucked up porn every day. If you believe porn makes you impotent, it will. The placebo effect should not be mocked

[–]cake_eater 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I get wood but i fuk forever and never bust a nut . I even get a bj for like an hour and nothin.

[–]M0RKET -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

That's not the worst thing that could happen. You can do what women do: fake an orgasm xD

[–]cake_eater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, how funny you mention that . I have done it a few times.

[–]real-boethius 2 points3 points  (5 children)

spending at LEAST an hour or two a day masturbating to porn online.

Yes this is ridiculous and a waste of time. If libido is distracting you, bust a nut and get on with your life.

It is just as ridiculous to say "no porn ever". I look at porn maybe for an hour once a month. Doesn't affect anything.

[–]CrackityDiggity[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Yeah, I wouldn't tell you to stop.

For most people, having a few drinks or even getting drunk occasionally isn't a big deal and doesn't affect anything. But for someone who crossed the line into serious alcoholism, sometimes the only way they can recover is by completely abstaining from alcohol. It's the same with porn.

[–]redparadigm 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thats the way it is for me with weed. It's all or nothing mentality. I either totally abstain or am high for weeks straight. People are wired differently.

[–]real-boethius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accept that, but I would venture to suggest that porn is a symptom of a deeper problem. Simply trying to suppress it just doesn't work. Find the real problem and the symptom will go away.

[–]real-boethius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In which case I would suggest that the porn addiction, like the alcohol addiction, is the symptom of a deeper problem.

[–]pulsarkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An hour a month is nothing. Guys with problems look at it every day.

[–]Theophagist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 40. I've had ED exactly twice in my life. I was a professional pornographer for 10 years and an avid porn consumer since I was 10. Even if I have a two month dry spell I'm still a fucking rock star the very first night I get back in the saddle. I have hookers who crave me and it sure ain't for my looks.

So I really don't get what everyone's on about. Maybe you just don't have the fire in your gut that makes you want real pussy unless you starve your libido.

I'm sure moderation is better. But cutting yourself off completely? Shit, now you're at the mercy of either women or your pocketbook to keep your prostate healthy. Not good.

[–]Frontfart 1 point2 points  (4 children)

So 15 years ago you had high speed internet porn videos?

[–]RedDeadlift 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yes. The internet was starting to get fast in 2001. You could get anything you wanted on Limewire.

[–]Frontfart -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

It was still dialup in 2000 wasn't it?

[–]LuvBeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mostly yeah, but p2p worked OK over dialup. You could also rent/burn DVDs.

[–]RedDeadlift 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was some DSL. And college campuses were starting to get 50+ Mbps at the time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really wonder how some of you guys do it. Nofap is great and all, but I gotta say when it comes to say final exams and I need to study, busting a nut or two clears my head. Wouldn't be able to focus for shit if I never beat one off once a week ish. To each their own.

[–]Mr_landscape 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad people here are accepting of addiction as a disorder rather than statement of self worth or will power. It's so easy to judge people for things you don't experience especially addictions. I must admit porn addiction is something that is completely alien to me. I've only ever used it as a means to an end. I don't particularly enjoy porn anymore than using it when I'm having a dry spell and I just need to get one out. I usually fast forward to the nighty gritty and I'm done within minutes to which I promptly delete the screen. The more normal the depiction of the sex the better. In fact it almost makes me a little uneasy when the video is something strange or far out. For example I can't stand to see anal sex in any form. It disgusts me for some reason. It may have to do with an experience I had when I was a young child. I was raped or molested or however you want to put it by my neighbor who was 2 years older than me and it involved that area of my body. I hoped this isn't TMI for anyone reading this. Anyways my point is that even though I don't experience this addiction in the ways that you and others do, I still have a terrible amount of empathy for those who suffer from its grips. I've struggled my whole adult life with an ongoing heroin addiction. I've been judged for it to the max. People who don't go through it think I'm just a bad person or that I'm week. They don't understand the complexity that is an addiction. It's hard to understand ther powerlessness that a person exists in when displaying their habit. It seems to an outsider like a matter of a simple choice. It makes it hard to feel bad for the person because it seems like they're purposely hurting themselves.

Thank you for sharing your story with us all at this time. I'm glad you found the strength to better yourself and even more so to have the courage to share your story and the heart to in such a way as to help your fellow man. There's always someone out there who is suffering that might benefit from people who have the guys to get honest. Sometimes these people think that ther is something wrong with them. They are embarrassed and ashamed. It's amazing when you come from said state and for the first time you realize you are not alone and not only that but there's hope in fixing your life.

I'm coming out of a terrible breakup slash relapse and I'm lucky to be breathing another breath. Alot of my motivation comes from this sub. I see my story being told from others people's experience. I've humbled myself and it's like I've discovered the truth of how I got to this point in my life. TRP is in a very real sense saving my life. I now understand the mechanics for why my relationships have turned out the way they have eventually leading me back into dug use each time. I've been studying hard. my whole world view is drastically changing. This is a good thing because my blue pill ways were going to be the death of me eventually. I am by no means out of the water but the difference now is that I have a fighting chance. So once again thank you for the post and especially thanks the brotherhood that is TRP for instilling in me a new hope that I can have dreams and peruse them and that someday if I work hard enough I can achieve my goals and that someday I can find a peace and happiness that resonates with the true nature of the reality around me

[–]Squeezymypenisy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I saw that article that was released in the Time magazine. Definitely interesting, but my advice would be see a doctor. Don't just stop the porn, because some of the guys interviewed were still having trouble get up. Better to seek medical help as well.

[–]Copenhagen23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I went online and got some liquid cialis to solve the issue. Prescribed cialis i so damn expensive. A $60 bottle lasts me 4-6 months using once to twice a week. The pill from a pharmacy will cost you about $25 a boner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's on-and-off for me all the time. Whenever I stop masturbating for a week, I recover full feeling and libido. I respectfully disagree that it takes months as cited in certain websites and articles. There is a significant improvement within days.

[–]cxj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you think about masturbation without porn? Any improvement?

[–]Neil_Armstrang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously considering taking a break from PMO but I was wondering about flatlining and the truth regarding it. Will my libido take a hit, even if it's temporary?

[–]Soob4ME 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other than the last 2 paragraphs of pitty party, I whole heartedly agree with this entire post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so happy with myself. It has now been just over 13 months since I began my long and difficult journey of stopping jerking off to porn forever. From the get go I was determined to end it for good, but I relapsed and persisted. Now I am proud to say that I live my daily life with no thoughts of porn, and rarely masturbate only when I really feel horny...which is fine. Confidence is through the roof and physiologically my body has become stronger and has more endurance and energy.

[–]Geckobird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear about the flatline experienced during NoFap. The period of time where you cannot get hard from anywhere from a couple weeks to several months. Should we aim for that, suffer with no sex drive all summer, then hopefully be recovered by the fall, or should we attempt to masturbate once every week or 2, without porn, practicing moves and kegal exercises to last longer? I know that when I go more than a week without fapping my erections are much stronger and I either last for 20 minutes or 20 seconds.

[–]TomRoberts2016 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I called an hour after reading this post. So sad. :(

[–]JackGetsIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of the issue is that in the past when young males began to develop hormones and sex drive at 10-13 years old they were only maybe a few years from marriage. People married much younger in general (a likely outcome of young men thirsty for sex with few options outside of a sanctioned marriage). Today the vast majority of men that aren't chad's don't have sexual outlets until their 20's and even then they are inconsistent sexual outlets. In addition, the health and weight of the modern female is so abyssal that even without the problems of 'porn brain,' sexual satisfaction in general can be lacking. Therefore porn has filled a gap created by the postponement that modern society has place on young adults.

[–]atradervish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar story with my girlfriend. It was over a year since I had had lost my virginity and I hadn't had sex with my girl at the time. When it finally came down to it, I could get hard so I blamed it on the condom being too tight. The next time we attempted sex, I blamed it on the alcohol because we were drinking. After some research I realized that it was either too much masturbating to porn or not being comfortable with the condom. I feel like it was a combination of both because after I started masturbating with a condom on, everything became easier. I now realize that masturbating tells your brains that sexy time is in front of a mouse and keyboard. So to combat this I told my brain that sexy time is now associated with a condom and overtime, having sex with my girl got better. So yea masturbation leads to many problems.

[–]JustDoMeee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying to quit for more than a year now, it's soo fucking hard, the fact that you can pick from so many girls and shit ahhh fuck it's the worst, I wanna quit soo fucking bad. I still haven't gone past a 21 days, been going for 5-6 days every time, I still fucking great on that 6th day and I know it can only get better from there but I still keep fucking up.

I relapsed today yet again, back to day one, I just have to stop right? But why is it sooo fucking hard?! I don't know how I'm gonna raise my children with this shit around with such easy access.

I know this endeavour is worth it otherwise I wouldn't be doing it, I've always gotten glimpse of how amazing I can be, like that one time I went to 13 days and charmed the fuck out of so many girls, I was on a whole different level.

I wanna get back there so bad, I wanna be the best version of myself, I can't die without seeing what's on the other side of that 100th day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have pornogrpahy addiction and I disagree with all the erectile dysfunction thing. I actually have had erectile hyperfunction through addiction - jerked off up to 12-14 times a day.

The problem I discover that your sex imagination slightly goes down so you stop imagining how you would somebody e.g. random girl on the street and where. Instead you just wait till you get home and start jerking. So yes, probably bad thing.

[–]SeekingTheWay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i keep fucking real girls while getting rid of this shit?

[–]rombios 0 points1 point  (0 children)

everything in moderation. a release now and again calms the mind, reduces "thirst" and uncomfortable erections in uncomfortable places

porn has existed as long as we had had writing. am sure cave men drew on walls.

[–]LiquidZebra 1 points1 points [recovered]

I just finished reading the "Karezza" book on sexuality written in the 1900. There was no porn then, and yet the woman MD author dedicates an entire chapter to male psychic impotency. The author says it strikes all sorts of men, even Don Juans. Additionally, it may not work with some women but work with others. Finally, she says that the very experience of a girl there being TOO horny can lead to psychic impotence .

I think blaming porn is too easy, there are clearly real biological issues at play...

[–]CrackityDiggity[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for adding this. I'd have to read the chapter, but I think it's safe to assume that the use of the word "psychic" indicates a mental (psychological) and not a physical (biological) cause. It might be better to think of porn as one of a variety of potential causes of psychic impotence, one which didn't yet exist at the time of this writing.

In any case I don't think porn is the sole cause of all impotency in young men, but it's certainly the cause in some cases, particularly when it's abused.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if anyone is still here, but if you are then I HIGHLY recommend reading this:


It's been the only thing that has helped me get off porn properly.

[–]1naMlliPdeR -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I had same exact problem. 115 days no orgasm or porn. Has sex, was great, never looked back. I hadn't masturbated literally for a few years.

[–]mctoasterson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a side effect of applying your advice will be hundreds of men filing for divorce after they realize they were using supplemental porn to compensate for the fact they hardly ever got laid.

[–]bittr_n_swt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great post, i've watched porn since i was 14 or 15 and now I'm 22. When i was 21, i had sex with this chubby girl but i managed to keep a hard on througout but I couldn't cum. The next 3 girls i fucked, i couldn't keep my hard on and it was devastating.

I haven't watched porn in a few days now but masturbating is still very difficult to stop. I'm weak just before i sleep, my mind goes nuts and I just have to do it ffs i need to man the fuck up.

[–]chrisElRey123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post is so important.

Okay, not everybody has ED from watching porn. I don't. But there is very strong anecdotal evidence that laying off the porn and masturbation can help with sexual problems.

That said, when I've dropped my porn usage to once or twice a week or less, the improvement in my sex drive, general attitude, and sexual performance is evident.

Truthfully, you don't need to drop it forever - I don't believe so at least. But it would be wise to cut down on your porn habit significantly.

Doesn't hurt to try, and if you do have ED problems at a young age, nofap will probably fix them unless it is caused by an unrelated medical issue.

[–]mygunuface 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Every year for the past 3, I go cold turkey and nofap for as long as I can. First year lasted 224 days, second: 168. I'm planning to break the record this year.

[–]CCDoritos 1 points1 points [recovered]

How?, I can hardly go one day.

[–]mygunuface 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After the first two weeks the urge subsides drastically, don't think about it and find constructive activities to do in its stead.

[–]elruary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Preach on brother. Suffering the exact same issue. Best post in trp for me. Ill quit porn.

[–]SgtBrutalisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post is a great inspiration for me to change things in my life. That's why I come to TRP. Thanks OP.

[–]cariboo_j -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

Regularly jerk off. Never had trouble getting it up.

Dunno what all you NoFap cultists are crying about. Fucking wierdos.

[–]McLarenX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

going on 21 days and i feel great!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Google: taoist sexual transmutation.

[–]Bartholemew1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Alright i'll ask here cause why the hell not. What would you tell a dude who lived in a place where girls are only seen in Univeristy. Not outside uni, not in the streets, or anywhere else. Where there are no bars, pubs, mixed malls, etc... When the pressure pents up and you have no outlet

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Why spend time in front of a screen jerking off while you can go out there and put in a little work for some real pussy.

[–]CrackityDiggity[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I agree. But you might also ask 'why eat a bag of chips and a couple snickers bars when you can go to the grocery store and cook a healthy meal of lean protein and vegetables?' Answer: it's easier.

[–]rombios 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why go to the grocery store to buy meat when you could put off a little effort and hunt and trap game?

itll never stop ... that line of reasoning

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

That's true. But the Red Pill isn't about what's easier it's about what works, easy or hard.

[–]maxineasher -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Late to the party but this is total bullshit. Masturbated 1-2 times every day since my hand could reach my dick. Also can keep my girl satisfied multiple times a day too if she's up for it.

The whole ED and "porn addiction" is in your head.

[–]SanchitoQ -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

So I'm supposed to feel for you because either:

A) You weren't smart enough to figure out that jerking off for hours at a time probably wasn't good for you


B) You couldn't control yourself because "it just feels so damn good"

Got it.

[–]masnera -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

i have a different case, i have been reading sex tabloids that my grandfather has been buying at age of 14, there are no pictures...but i can understand the context even though it has been reworded for a kid to never understand, I can masturbate imagining the scenario...but no porn. Maybe it was helpful to me, because i can fuck low smv women(ugly with nice body, beautiful with chubby body..err my dick wont stand at fat ones)...and keeping it hard, just by closing my eyes and thinking of my fantasy. But my dick still automatically get triggered by hot bodied woman. Especially if I happen to sit with them at public transportation.

[–]doctorcoolpop -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Whatever the cause of ED, the drugs are the cure so use them

[–]PUA_Wanna_be -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The title might be right. But the post is just a long, irrelevant sob-story.

[–]sacbite -3 points-3 points [recovered]

I, too, have had this exact same problem, but stopping porn didn't solve the problem. REPEAT - stopping porn helped, but did not SOLVE, the PROBLEM. It's taken me five years of hard research to BEGIN to resolve the problem. The issue is CHEMICAL. So if anyone here has STOPPED porn completely (as I did for three years) and is STILL presenting with anorgasmia and 'mid course' flaccidity (the inability to RETAIN your erection to completion) please let me know! There IS help. (And no, I'm not a bot trying to sell Cialis, or something -- that's a help but it, TOO, DOES NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM. This issue is COMPLEX! Yes, no fapping can help, but for a lot of us, it is NOT the single ANSWER!

[–]KermitTheeFrog777 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you have the info, I suggest making a post. Thanks

Want to download the post?
Download PDF Download TXT