Field Report(FR) Stop talking about yourself (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]


Field report to demonstrate how talking about yourself to a girl can be supplicating behavior and dries up the vagina. Even if you have status and are talking about the status you have.


I work with this younger guy, a twenty three year old, who plays bass guitar in a moderately successful local band. I've worked with the guy for two months and I can tell you that he knows nothing about me but I can tell you all about him. He can't stop talking about himself.

So he can laid after a show. By a girl who wants to fuck a guy in the band. But outside of that he's a beta trainwreck. One of the girls he has laid he has now turned into an orbiter for and he's honestly very confused about how this happened. He's trying to negotiate her attraction and he keeps mentioning that they are "working on their relationship" but she's really his good "fuck buddy". But they need to talk more to work things out.

Talking is fine if you know how to talk. And not supplicate.

So I went out with this guy last weekend. To meet up and hey why not flirt with all the girls around? So we get our coffee and go outside to smoke and hey look at that their is a girl out there standing about ten feet away. I can see my friend glancing up and down and flicking his eyes at her. While I'm openly staring at her and she's intermittently meeting my eyes. So I motion for her to come over with a nod of my head and a come hither motion. And I open her with a random statement. I just asked her where she worked.

She comes over and says she works for Verizon in HR. But she's got this thick accent I don't recognize, along with olive skin, so I immediately tease her with a qualifying neg about her accent. I tell her that to slow down and not rush cause that accent is thick. But I do it with a big smile and laughter in my eyes. She gets a bit confused and flustered (perfect) and says something again, too quickly for me to understand and too quietly with traffic driving by. So I tell her to come closer and speak up, a small girl like you needs to say things louder.

She moves closer and I ask her where she's from to have that accent. She says she's from Italy. At this point my friend jumps into the conversation, that he's been watching, by talking about himself. "Hey I have an Italian friend! He works in HR too!".

Oh how sweet they have so much in common. He's immediately supplicating to her right here. He is qualifying himself to her.

I can immediately see that this isn't a guy she wants to talk to. So she keeps addressing me. I'm the one who is openly staring at her anyway. The conversation continues and I tease her about looking like one of those dirty gypsies I've read about. How she has that look and I wouldn't leave her alone.

Meanwhile my friend keeps interrupting the natural flow of a good conversation. She's trying to talk about her family back in Italy and I'm trying to guide the conversation within the frame that I'm the guy she needs to qualify herself to. With casual teasing and light negs. And he can't stop trying to tell her that he's in a band.

He interrupts to state this. "I'm in a band and play bass guitar", and the girl is clearly just standing there thinking, "I don't care". He says, "I just got a tattoo of a music note because of my deep love for music". "We're playing at (local bar) next week." Etc

Basically interrupting the flow of my conversation where this girl is telling me about her and I'm busy asking qualifying questions about what she is talking about. All women's favorite thing to talk about. Themselves. And he can not even engage into the conversation because all he is doing is throwing out beta bait. It's like he's a little puppy standing there barking, "look at me! Look at me!".

Eventually she tells us that she has to go and her body language pulls halfway back, but she pauses and looks at me to get my permission to leave. My last comment is "yeah you better go. Don't want your husband to chance to see you here talking to me." As she was wearing a wedding ring.

Mostly throughout the conversation she is clearly perplexed and confused by the things I'm saying. Which is exactly where you want a girl. You want her thinking on her toes and not sure what she can say to you to earn your validation. She leaves and my friend babbles at her about how great it was to get to know her while I just keep looking at here with a shit eating grin. I have no doubt that even with him there I could have number closed her. Throughout the conversation she did start mirroring me very clearly.

Now if you look at what was said I found out a bunch about her. How she came here from Italy in a student exchange program. That she doesn't have a lot of friends. That she works HR at Verizon. That her grandmother had gypsies break into her home and her whole family despises gypsies. Where she went to school. That she does not have any kids. That she is drinking a skinny vanilla latte. Meanwhile she leaned nothing about my life. Not one single thing. But she did learn that I'm the guy she qualifies herself to.

And if she was bothering to listen to the supplication coming from my friend she would know all kinds of meaningless things about him. Where he went to school. Random crap about his family. Oh hey did you know that he's in a band?

After she left he had to tell me more about the bar skanks he's fucked after a show. About how there's this one girl that's his FWB. That he's a real player (lol). He's so busy supplicating, even to me. I know all kinds of crap about him. He knows nothing about me because he has not earned that. I use the same game techniques on him as I do to her. And they work just as well.


Stop talking about yourself. Do not tell girls anything about yourself unless they ask. And tease them for asking. Make her earn getting to know you. Always say less then you think. Qualify her. You ask her things. You guide the conversation around her favorite thing to talk about in the whole world, herself. And you make judgemental comments about it, in a fun and light hearted way. You are the guy who will judge her. Who she gets to chase.

Do not be the supplicating guy desperately trying to qualify himself to a girl. It's incredibly unattractive. And knowing factoids about your life does absolutely nothing for building attraction. Unless she had to earn learning those factoids. Allow her to feel good about herself for earning a fact about you. That's how you create value and build that mystery that intrigues her in between her legs.

Do not supplicate to women. You are the prize. Let her have fun chasing you.

[–]MelvinRedPill 144 points145 points  (25 children)

Nice field report.

Enjoyable read and I definitely learned something here. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (18 children)

You know based on things this guy has told me it wouldn't surprise me to learn that he's reading sites like this. I might as well try to help a brother out. Objectively speaking he's higher value than I am. But he has no game and so it all amounts to a pile of beans that he doesn't know how to plant.

I'm hoping that he is learning from watching me interact with random girls. Maybe he can figure out how to plant his beans.

[–]El_Diablito 35 points35 points [recovered]

I think from his behavior you really can't expect much out of him. He pretty much tried to cock block or overshadow you during your conversation when you were chatting someone up which shows a lack of character on his part. I've known guys like this and in their insecurity are just as likely to throw salt on other people's game because their game is shit.

If he was a real dude he would have read the vibe and either played wingman or stepped out of the conversation.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (8 children)

It could have been much worse believe me. He could have went white knight when I negged her. Like when I referred to her as looking like a dirty gypsy. He could have ridden forth to defend my ladies true virtue. Those are guys are the worst.

Hopefully what he will learn is how easy it is to start up a conversation with a girl. Once he can start opening people casually he'll be able to improve his game. I've never had a wingman but have used preselection by chatting up multiple girls and flirting with them all. Too many of my friends will use supplication or the worst try white knighting as their sexual strategy. I've given up on the guys who literally get angry inside when they see I'm running game.

[–]El_Diablito 8 points8 points [recovered]

The world is in a sad state - the culture is so fucked it is rare to see a real dude and not one of these white knights, supplicants or worst people whose value is so low they try to compete by bringing other people's value down to their own.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I agree it's pretty bad out there. The best thing we can do is to improve our own value and become the real men that all women desire. I've even picked up a feminist straight off one of their forums, that I went to only to shiv them. Lol I've got some great pictures of her. Feminists are desperate for a red pill man.

We will create the future, starting at the bottom. And women will come to us. Because we are the better men.

[–]PM_Me_Yo_Tits_Grrl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've given up on the guys who literally get angry inside when they see I'm running game

I don't have anything against people like that, sometimes it's just conditioning

[–]Luis_McLovin 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Quick question, when negging do you deliver it deadpan and stoic? As in, when you say it leaves her confused I'd imagine if you deliver it deadpan, serious and stoic it leaves it to her how to interpret it - either as a joke, or as an insult etc.

Or do you deliver jokingly? As in, you're smiling as you say it, therefore she knows you're making a joke at her expense and she feels she has to qualify she isn't that.

I understand negs, they serve to get women to qualify to men, however delivery is tricky.

Let me know when you can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are going to have to try out different things to see what works for you. I fully advocate using free online dating sites to go out with the lowest level of girl you can currently pull and then going out and having a good time with her. Even if you would never fuck her. She's still a woman and they really do react in very similar ways.

It's a way to build your game. And to learn to have no fear.

In that interaction it was said with a deadpan voice but with a smile with both my mouth and my eyes. The sense is that I'm totally serious, and I am, but that I'm also just having fun. It's that balance where a girl has fun with you. When you are serious but still just having fun.

[–]CQC3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He could have went white knight when I negged her.

True, but you have to admit, he did make you look good.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You'd hope so. I doubt this is how it exactly works. The actor, us, wanted to learn something. That's why we're here. We've taken action to correct a problem.

Your friend may pick up something. It'll be insubstantial. He will need to practice his game. Doesn't hurt to read a little bit either about women.

[–]sicknick 6 points7 points  (6 children)

You're a good dude, but before you go trying to help this guy remember, he's a bass player lol bass players are inherently beta. Every band I've ever been in. Good dudes, some were cool as fuck. Just inherently beta lol.

[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Less Claypool (Primus), Sting (The Police), Gene Simmons (KISS), Roger Waters (Pink Floyd), Geddy Lee (Rush), Paul McCartney (The Beatles). Just to name a few bass players who are also frontmen. NABALT (lol).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LMFAO! Oh God, so true. So very very true.

[–]nomorelulu -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

Well you pretty much have to be, right? Only the guys who aren't good enough to be guitarists pick up bass lol

[–]1Ill_mumble_that 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Nah. It's more about choosing that role. Some guys are good front men. Other guys are naturally better in a support role as a #2 to the main guy.

The strongest nations in the world were formed by leaders who looked after their seconds and lieutenants. Subutai is an excellent example of a secondary guy who was more or less wholey responsible for his main frontrunner's campaign being as successful as it was. Sure, history remembers the main leader much better, but the second lead a good life.

Likewise in a band, you get a good frontman who looks after the rest of the guys and you'll go places. Like the lesser known Mickey Madden of Maroon 5. Dude is a multi-millionaire.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about Dino Cazares? Absolutely amazing talent. Take pride in everything you do.

[–]1Hf9n8X 33 points34 points  (14 children)

How do you change from a person who supplicates to always-telling-long-and-fun-stories-about-themselves type of person? I have a couple of friends who always have group's attention focused on them telling about themselves, and they don't come off as needy/supplicating type, they're actually pretty fun to be around.

[–]Weirdtual 43 points44 points  (13 children)

You've said it yourself : they have the focus of the group. The difference resides in your status : you're labeled as the fun guy, people lesson, the group ask more, and remember/laugh.

On how to change away from supplicating, simply wait for someone to show interest in you instead of storytelling your week trying to get a reaction from others, aka seeking validation.

No interest shown ? Time to work again on yourself. Repeat later.

[–]1Hf9n8X 6 points7 points  (11 children)

In this case by working on yourself you mean simply becoming more interesting as a person, educating yourself on different topics, getting into new hobbies, etc, or something else?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Learn game. Teach yourself how to open people, everyone, even people you have no interest in fucking. Watch them, look into their eyes, and learn to have no fear in social situations. Then test things out. You can even use okcupid to pick up girls who are the lowest you would fuck and try out all kinds of different things and see what game works for you.

[–]Weirdtual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting into hobbies makes you meet more people, which are easy to bond with because you're in the same place with already known common interests. Then it attracts other people because they see you in a group, or just the group bonding together, and want to be a part of it.

If you're searching to bond with someone, girl or group, avoid serious topics, and if asked about it, be short.

I had in mind your attitude, posture. Locking eye contact, nod to acknowledge presence of others, be warm. That's enough to spark interest.

[–]cuntweiner 2 points3 points  (8 children)

yea kind of maybe pick up bass guitar and join a band

Well, hobbies are good, but bullshitting is always an option...you know that saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all"? Just replace nice with funny or interesting. It's always better to be silent if you're not sure–people will give you the benefit of the doubt, until you open your mouth.

If you stay silent for a while (or go a while without saying anything about yourself), people will notice, and eventually they will crack and imply that they would like to know more about you. This is your time to shine. At this point, you have the advantages of mystery, novelty, and knowledge of the other person on your side, and this creates a kind of intangible social tension. You can say almost anything at this point to break that tension. My go to would definitely be self-deprecating humor, because the other person is aware that they've revealed way more about themselves than you have. So, when you self-deprecate, it shifts some of that power back to their side, and makes them feel better about themselves. Naturally, they will perceive this feeling as being caused by you. And, here's a bonus with shitting on yourself: you still haven't actually revealed anything personal that can be used against you, as you've made it clear that you are not insecure about it (by joking about it). So, you still retain the mystery, and hopefully, the person's attention.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]cuntweiner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha cool. My comment was tongue in cheek, based on OP's story. But I'm actually a bass player too, I play in three bands lol

[–]1Jax77789 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Self depreciating humor is a no-no. Rollo Tomassi has a great post on that. Year 1 I think.

[–]0FO6 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I believe this is the article you are referring to: Sorry,.. All though about midway in the article he says:

People seem to get confused about how self-deprecation really functions. I’m not suggesting that a Man take himself so seriously that he can’t laugh at himself; in fact a brilliant tactic is to present a prevailing, ambient sense of seriousness, then admit to and laugh at whatever goof it was that removes you from it. Nothing endears a man more to a woman than to think only she can break through your shell and get you to find humor in yourself. However, true self-deprecation is self-initiated. It’s not the “ha ha look I slipped on a banana peel” sense of deprecation, it’s the “I’m a complete douche, but really worth the effort” apologetic sense of deprecation. There is a marked difference between being pathetic and being able to laugh at yourself in good faith.

[–]xddm2653 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you do it with the right frame, it's a yes-yes

[–]cuntweiner 1 point2 points  (2 children)

lol how ridiculous. It's not a "no-no." If it's funny, it's funny. Listen to guys like Louis C.K. and Bill Burr, they self-deprecate all day long, and give 0 shits, they're pretty fucking red pill. I don't know who Rollo Tomassi is, but he's definitely not one of the greatest comedians of the day, so he can go fuck himself if he takes himself too seriously to joke about his flaws.

[–]0FO6 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think he was mistaken about what Rollo said. As to who he is, he is the author of the rational male (linked in the sidebar), he posts a lot, and I think he is one of the more original members.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

His blog, the rational male, are literally the most base essential reading for any red pill man. He is providing his entire blog for free. He has also written and published two books about living life as a red pill aware man.

He is literally at the core of the red pill. You should take advantage and read his blog.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because of this your first impression is very important. It will create the first thought/feeling people have when they see you. You can change it but it's so much easier to just make the first impression you want in that particular group.

[–]DirtyProject0r 30 points31 points  (3 children)

This posts is gold. Just (half an hour ago) walked into a girl who I have had some intimacy with a couple of years ago. Reading "48 Laws of Power" currently and one of the key thoughts of that book is in line with your post. So I decided to put it in practice.

She asked me what I was up to these days. I could have said the following:

I just got from the gym. I am going four times a week and getting so strong! Also I am studying there and there. I am going to move out in a couple of weeks! Also I am going to do an internship in another country! How awesome is my life, eh?

But instead I said:

Busy, planning to move out soon.

She immediately started to ask all kinds of questions and I made sure I did not say too much and leave her guessing. I had to leave, so I wanted to leave when she said: "Are you going out soon I really want to meet up with you again!" She even offered to leave work early so she could see me when going out. To which I said "You should definitely do that." and cycled off.

Have never got such a reaction from her ever. This shit seems to work.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Great job! You are the prize. She is the one you let work for it. And she will never be as happy as working for a high value man.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

The way you phrased it made me think you walked on her reading 48LOP but we know that's impossible since women can't read /s

But now seriously, your sentence is weird.

[–]zue3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No it isn't. Made perfect sense to me the first time.

[–]man0man 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Excellent post. Self-praise is for losers.

It's cringe inducing to watch guys go that route. They always crash and burn.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Idk. I don't openly praise myself because if you have to say you're the shit, then you're probably not the shit. But at the same time sometimes I'll tease girls and be like "that's why I'm so beautiful" etc, and they eat it right up.

[–]man0man 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Sure, tone and intent make all the difference.

[–]flyers156 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Treat conversations with potential lays in the way you should talk to an auditor. Answer their question in as few words as possible and don't volunteer anything additional.

[–]zezozio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Strangely enough, that metaphor talks to me. +1

[–]LockedOnTheRedPill 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Great field report. Many guys think that girls won't be interested unless you tell them your job or hobbies, but it's actually the opposite. If you combine dread game with a mysterious air about yourself, she will not leave you alone. In fact, she'll start validating herself even more to you to try and get you to open up. That being said, you have to have good SMV to draw her in. Don't lead her on too long either, because girls minds do not hold interest long unless she thinks you deserve her attention. You have to be on your A-game, or she will leave you for another high value guy.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children)

I think you do need to have things about yourself to create that initial spark of attraction. Girls will have you in a 0 - 1 HB scale at first. Either you're a one or your a zero. If you're a zero keep working on yourself. Most people are lazy as fuck and like 2/3rds of men are overweight and dress like slobs.

And girls don't need to know anything about you to fuck you. Knowing things about you doesn't increase your SMV appreciably. Barring things that increase your status that you allow her the chance to discover. And most guys main hobby is video games. Hell I once watched another friend try to hit on a girl by bragging about winning one of his fantasy football leagues for fucks sake. That's your competition.

[–]LockedOnTheRedPill 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I definitely agree. You must have established your outward SMV (How you dress, how you act, How you look, your body) before you can truly have success with anything above a HB6. I agree that the competition is rather bleak if you are a high status male going up against losers, but once you get to that point, you aren't competing with those dudes anymore. You are now competing against the Natural Chad Thundercocks, and all the Alphas in the room. It's what sets you apart from those guys that really helps your game and whether you go home with a HB 8+. So I think that improving yourself doesn't end once you are better than the losers. To say so is to be lazy. You should always be improving in any way you can so you can be the AMOG.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I've only ever met two other guys who were absolutely out there running game. When I used to game girls at the local mall. Believe me the competition isn't as fierce as you think. Once you are better than everyone else, a laughably easy thing to do once you put your mind to it.

One of those guys was short as well. And he had mad game revolving around him working as a barber and quite literally often revolving around his beard style. Though he was out cheating on his wife! Lol. Hey he pulled it off a few times that I saw.

[–]LockedOnTheRedPill 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I totally got you, man. Haha. I'm the type of guy that likes to be prepared as much as possible. I'm kinda a pessimist when it comes to the amount of AMOGs in clubs and I prepare myself as such. It's helped so far for me, but it might not for others. Gosh, I wish I had a mad beard game. Lol

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I'll tell you this guy was really short. Like 5' 4" short. I never heard him ever whine about being short. He just improved his game. And believe me I can remember him AMOGing me, very successfully!, because we both knew what was really going on.

Lol holy hell the guy even used his six year old daughter in his game. Relentless. That's what I would call that guy. He was fucking brutal and never gave up. Mad respect. Lol and oh he knew I was running my game as well. Fun little bizarre competitions we have.

[–]LockedOnTheRedPill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn man, sounds like an awesome dude. He sounds brutal as fuck. I wish I had someone like that dude to compete with. Haha.

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Nice fr. The way I see it, in girls' minds (and in some guys' minds in certain situations), if you have substance you shouldn't need to talk about it. By talking about it you're communicating subconsciously that you have a need to impress, prove yourself, show off, humblebrag, whatever. I like your point about being the prize but I also try to discern the underlying thought perpetuating these situations.

And I see it as simply, the highest value man wouldn't need to talk about it and tout his accomplishments.

Now this is clearly a simplification which doesn't always apply, but I've found that underlying thought occur in several situations, and it loosely ties into the law of power Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. If I was that guy just imagine after a girl is falling for you for her to have earned knowing that you're a talented bass player in a band that is really accomplishing something. If only he let a girl earn knowing that about him. He'd slay.

[–]Endorsed ContributorClint_Redwood 9 points10 points  (0 children)

he's a little puppy standing there barking, "look at me! Look at me!".

Funny you'd notice that. We are all mammals. A lot of the no-verbals we do are the exact same. Dogs flair up when threatened. Humans do the same. Dogs can be submissive or dominant. They can want attention or not. We just happen to use words with our body language.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I have the nonchalant cocky teasing mysterious vibe too. My question is, how do you form comfort if the girl knows absolutely zilch about you?

Comfort game is not my strong suit at all. Especially because most of the time a girl can tell I don't give two fucks about losing her.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I try to reward girls good behavior by opening up and telling them a story about me. A story about my life I can narrate to them and they can see parts of what made me. Honestly not a lot of girls really do enough anymore for me to exhibit great amounts of comfort. They all wander off eventually because of it. Which is fine they were going to wander off eventually anyway.

[–]trumpisafaggybeta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is similar to what I do but on the flip side. Most girls like talking about the shitty, mundane aspects of their life, so you pretend to listen while chiming in with kino and other push/pull techniques. Eventually they loosen up and ask about you, and that's where you say something about yourself, but you keep up that charming rapport no matter where the convo goes.

[–]TRPBackpacker 7 points7 points [recovered]

Yeah these beta are annoying. Always jumping in and trying to make you fail so they can pick up the left over after. I have a beta openly mockinng me with a laugh when I number closed a girl. It's like him saying "There he goes again hitting on women"

Sort of annoying, and I've never been able to close people without one of these suckers getting i. the way first. Feels like they do not think I deserve the girl so they try to disrupt.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Bucket crabs.

Laugh at them in your mind.

[–]unicorn-carousel 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Meanwhile my friend keeps interrupting the natural flow of a good conversation. She's trying to talk about her family back in Italy and I'm trying to guide the conversation within the frame that I'm the guy she needs to qualify herself to.

Torn on this. I try to include my bros if they interrupt my magic for long enough to be polite. Some have situational awareness to see that I'm macking and excuse themselves, others hover around and kill my Game. I'll find a way to adapt eventually, but it's on pause as I go out solo 95% of the time now... I pass over guys with no Game in the contact roll until I can set expectations indirectly (e.g. tell a story about that time I was out, and this annoying prick did X... good chance they won't do X in the future if they respect you). Maybe that last point can help with your friend, if he respects you.

I had a friend who I decided just didn't respect me, despite calling me to hang and acting friend-like. I noticed a pattern of when he'd call, and yea, I was just a tampon. Dumped. I'll be polite if I ever see him about, but, no contact otherwise.

As she was wearing a wedding ring.


Mostly throughout the conversation she is clearly perplexed and confused by the things I'm saying.

Throbbing super ego. "AWALT, AWALT, AWALT." You mean she wasn't just happily married and holding her ground?

Half serious here. Obviously you were the only one there. But I've fucked plenty of girls I've had comprehensible first conversations with. Mostly, if not all, in fact.

Stop talking about yourself. Do not tell girls anything about yourself unless they ask. And tease them for asking.

Spot on. Rant warning: An annoying thing while out with guys with BB/pro guys with no Game, is they immediately start talking career and telling them all about where everyone works. I play it off and say I do "computer shit" or something, unless they ask for clarification. Way before RP I did this, because I could see how boring it was to chicks. Even in settings dominated by people in 1-2 fields, it's a formality at best... not a thing to be gloated about.

Make her earn getting to know you.

Yes, make her earn her little scooby snacks about your life. She fantasizes the rest through a filter of your SMV, stacked on what little she knows. "So mysterious!"

Nice post, OP, thanks.

Edit: fixed typo and elaborated on 'earn' part.

[–]Third_Foundation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Computer shit" is the best way to describe my job as well

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Talking about yourself and trying to qualify yourself is not the same thing. If you have high enough EQ, I imagine you won't have any issues deciding when the opportunity for light bragging arises.

"Oh you deployed to Iraq? That must have been scary!"

"You race motorcycles?! That's so cool! Have you ever crashed? I have always wanted to ride on one!"

Woman love to be told stories, especially when they get the idea they could become part of the next big adventure as if she is missing out on something. Specifically the 18-22 crowd.

[–]1ThumpNuts 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Right. Women love stories. Women don't like "factoids" or lists or anybody but themselves. They want you to entertain them. They want you to like them. It couldn't be more simple.

If you tell them you are a bass player in a band, they don't give a shit. If you tell them you were playing a set in a club when 2 girls got into a fight and pulled each others wigs off, they'll laugh or cringe... and be entertained... and notice you play in a band.

If you tell a girl you are a Firefighter, they don't care. If you tell them you performed mouth to mouth on a kitten who died of smoke inhalation, they'll say, "aaawwwwe" or hug you... and be entertained... and be impressed.

BUT, you must lead them into earning that kind of story. Most of the time they are content talking about themselves and you don't even have to tell a story in the first place.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Woman love to be told stories,

Absolutely 169% correct. They like the journey, not the conclusion. When people say you should romance a woman, they completely miss the point. You aren't supposed to give them shit and say nice thing about them, and then hope you can stick your tiny pecker in them for 25 seconds. No. You are are supposed to take them on a journey. Far and away their favorite journey i when you lead them on an adventure. Your stories are a way to prove to them you know how to do that

Oh, and perfect stories are bullshit. Like the matrix, you need to put the bad shit in with the good or they won't believe it. You were not always Chad Thundercock, but get her tingles to tell you are now, it's open mic at Tuna Town tonight.

[–]RedDeadlift 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a great example of how to frame a conversation. The contrast between you and your friend really puts it into perspective.

[–]trumpisafaggybeta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't talk, you just show where applicable. Subtlety is king when it comes to bedding women. She doesn't care about how much you work out, she just wants to hold your big traps as you fuck her brains out. She doesn't care about how much you make or how hard you try at work, she just wants the money in hand for her to spend on makeup, purses, hair treatments, or other basic bitch shit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very good post.

I always wondered why do people come up with "Hey! I have a friend from X too" when i tell them what country X i am from. Now i understand they are just garnering sympathy (maybe trying to make a subtle association that they can get well with people from the same group, trying to merge the us vs them gap).

I know a guy who kept showing the group i was in what kinky gifs a girl he never met sent him some days ago. I cringed so hard at his attempts to get validation, especially since i have entire folders but never tell anyone. It is not their business.

[–]Squeezymypenisy 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Best comment i heard from a girl was "I feel like sometimes you are always judging me and I can't please you." I hadn't given her any compliments and had always been aloof. She didn't understand why after she told me her life story. Things progressed naturally from there.

[–]zezozio 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I heard that 3 times. And I believe I blew it the 3 times. What was your answer? How did you manage from there?

[–]Squeezymypenisy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If I recall I just kind of brushed it off in some cases and refused to answer. How did you blow it? Laughing at things can really confuse them. Things is its a frame test. They are trying to see if you will let your guard down and spill the beans.

[–]zezozio -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was before TRP. I got confused by that and started to justify myself and (jeez!!!) try to explain.

Basically, I said I had a mother, I had a cleaning lady and I cook well. (That wasn't so bad, but it get worse)

[cringing moment!] So that all I needed was HER, not what she could do for me, but her presence, her touch, her kindness, her feminity, herself. (sigh!)

Today, I'd say : "You're right. Now that I think of it, make yourself useful and go make me a sandwich". Or "Right. Well, let's make good use of your hidden talents, drop those pants and come wrap that beautiful pussy of yours around my cock"

[–]UnderseaGreenMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I had a friend like you. You seem down to earth, ready and willing to do things and collected (mentally speaking) . It's hard to find people like that who are willing to help another brother out ya dig? Most people just as you put it supplicate and hide behind their insecurities. It's quite annoying because I want to be with a group of friends who are willing to challenge themselves and try new things. If one of these interactions goes poorly I would want one of them to point it out and throw some tips my way. Too bad that's not the case for me. I'm learning to do all this myself and it's hard to catch my mistakes but I won't quit. Thanks for this story it certainly helped me out!

[–]bhaknu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your wingman is the one who should be talking you up. Not too much. Just hinting enough to get her curious.

[–]darknes66 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar situation with a co-worker whose wife cheated and ultimately dumped him. he wanted to get out and meet some women do I figured why not. we sat next to a cutie at a fire pit and started chatting her up. I found out she was from out of town, she's an administrator for a school district, get family history, blah blah blah. meanwhile this funny is stepping on me with 'my buddy this...my buddy that' and that kind of horse shit. every time he'd talk she'd either turn away or look at me. when he had rambled enough I'd jump right in and turn the conversation to a completely unrelated thought. the only reason she knew anything about me was because he kept talking about work drama. that actually worked in my favor because I'm a firefighter and she was impressed by that. before she went home she gave me her number and he went home empty handed

[–]DoerOfStuffAndThings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A classic and still very relevant today.

[–]masculinevirtue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Spot on. This is also true when it comes to friendship with other men. A man who talks about himself a lot will never succeed in that regard.

For example a guy at my gym always talk about his weigthlifting progress and now I grown so fed up that I don't even want to give him any attention whatsoever. People have to realize that no one cares about you (only close friends, family) and therefore stop talking about themselves. If you want to succeed in relationships do the opposite, ask questions about the other person and get them started in their dear beloved monologue about themselves.

Also great to meditate on the fact that nobody really cares to grow confidence to do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

[–]CanadianRedMaple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. This is something I need to start doing. I do live a pretty interesting life and have some great hobbies, but give it away all too quick. From now I'll be treating it like an audit, and get all the information from them first and give only minimal information back.

[–]TRPdoctor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anything conveyed overtly around women is assumed to be an attempt at impressing them. That's why women dry up with overt communication, they know overtness does not result in credible information and that it comes from a standpoint of pedestalization. Women can't explain this, obviously. It's their visceral reaction to this type of communication.

Covert communication is game. They believe the covertly expressed data points because you aren't telling them what to believe, therefore they think they came up with the idea by themselves. They used their "special snowflake spidey sense" to figure you out.

[–]BoringNormalGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining this, I still struggle with this aspect a lot; I'm doing it right now.

[–]JupeJupeSound 1 point2 points  (1 child)

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you really want to get good at negs copy how women treat each other. Women are the masters of the neg.

[–]TurboApe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great work. Appreciate the level of detail and explanation of applied principles. Would read more from you.

[–]CrodudeClassic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Enjoyable and educational read. I don't think I'm nearly as bad as your friend, but I do tend to share things about my personal life without them asking first at times. I definitely need to work on this, will keep this field report in mind during the next interaction I have.

[–]finally_got_one 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TIL the definition of supplicate haha. Thanks for the FR, I must still be plugged in to be surprised she was married.

[–]WhyIsYosarionNaked 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quality post man. It's funny how long people will drone on and on about themselves if you let them. I see it all the time at work. People don't want conversation, they want an audience.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TIL I've been doing this accidentally. I never have much to say and feel like I have to talk a lot, so I've gotten good at just asking questions. I'll ask a general question and see what her "hot spots" are and poke at them (just shit she's into pretty much) I've been on coffee dates where she talks 90% of the time and those are the ones that really want to meet me again.

I'm glad I stumbled on this. I'll keep doing what I've been doing.

[–]Jswiizle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This one hits home pretty hard, going to apply this for a week and post an update

[–]QPRCHOC 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I agree and disagree. Certainly you shouldn't fawn and put on that cringe-worthy obsessive interest you've described OP, but at the same time if you do something interesting and impressive I think you're welcome to talk about yourself.. I'm a med student and had great success on my first date with this chick feeding her anecdotes from hospital. She's one of those innocent caring types and I thought it worked well in that case.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Your beta bait simply smells stronger than his. Stop telling girls you are a doctor and make yourself into the guy they are attracted to simply because you are there.

[–]QPRCHOC 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm not sure man. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm new to TRP and new to getting myself back out there again, but you have to talk about yourself at some point, and if you do that in a way which gauges interest then is that really that big of a problem?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You say doctor, and all they hear is dolla bills and getting fat off your paycheque.

[–]QPRCHOC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. It's not like this is a recurring thing; I've just done this once but it's my first time since getting over some anxiety and discovering the red pill. I do maintain that in some scenarios promoting yourself can work (this girl could hardly keep her hands off my dick and paid for the second date we went out on. It will quite clearly lead to sex when I want it to) if all you want to do is bang her. But in the context of LTRs and meeting somebody for the first time you are right.

As I've said, I'm new to a lot of this and no matter how much TRP I read up on I'm bound to make some rookie mistakes and perhaps it's best to make a few of them first hand.

[–]icanhazTRP 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Great insight.

Just so I learn to balance things out: how do you connect with women in a personal level? Eg talking about yourself, past experiences, thugs in common etc.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They earn it from me. Through behavior that I approve of. I have no problem talking about myself because I choose to deliberately think every day about how fucking awesome I am. Those girls are lucky when I tell them about myself.

That's comfort though. And you do need to comfort girls. But they have to earn that from me.

[–]icanhazTRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see. I like the way you act -- makes them engaged from the first moment on. Thanks man

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

You don't connect on a personal level.

[–]icanhazTRP 0 points1 point  (2 children)


Don't tell me what to do or what not to do

Mind your own business

If you want to talk from experience and share practical advice on why not to connect on a personal level, by all means do so

Other than that it's just radio noise, adds no value to the community, and simply repeats something you heard without critical thought from your side or knowing anything from my context

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Mhm. And when the bitch loses interest because you actually like her, and want a connection, and give up info about yourself, don't cry to TRP.

[–]icanhazTRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When the bitch loses interest it's my problem, my responsibility, and my life.

Just as much as when the bitch gives me a BJ and swallows my cum to the last drop, it's my orgasm, my sperm, and my life.

Thank you so much for being so concerned about my well-being. I just think you'd better use your own time by taking care of your own life.

[–]thor_away92 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Great post.

  • I thought asking questions about her turned them off because you're showing blatant interest???

Can someone clarify this for me?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

That's it exactly. Supplicating behavior shows, through your actions and not your words, that you are low value. Having multiple girls in your life does help you to avoid trying to get validation from one specific girl. Because you have multiple girls who will validate you.

Ultimately the answer becomes such. You validate yourself. You look within and you truly accept where you are at in your journey. You turn inward and you make yourself into your own best friend. You accept what you are and how you feel. How you feel is perfectly ok. It's who you are. You validate yourself.

And what does a girl's validation really matter? You are better than her anyway. What you validate simply matters more. It's your world. You own this world. How could any one girls validation compare to your own? You're the king. You decide what is important.

And you create the person who gets to do this. You make yourself the king of your world. Mastery of the self. You have conquered the most important person in the world. Yourself.

[–]thor_away92 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Well yeah...

But I thought asking women about them shows interest which was counter productive.

I'm focused on the game aspect here.

I've graduated past the "being okay with yourself" portion of this journey.

[–]TRP_N_ME 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Firing off question after question is what kills attraction, especially if they're "interview" questions about mundane bullshit. This makes you appear overly interested in your target, and since that interest is unearned you now look desperate. Coming off as desperate and needy is never gonna work.

People love to talk about themselves, it's your job to make that easy and fun for them. Simple things like using statements instead of questions to move the conversation forward are immensely helpful.

[–]thor_away92 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This was critical to my game thank you.

[–]thewrightstuff88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would also think that you need to elicit an emotion from her. Women love to talk about themselves because they think they live amazing lives. This is where the "pull" aspect of push/pull comes in. You tease them, make them feel like they are being judged/insecure about what they do, since women are SUPER insecure about stuff. They want to be as much a part of the "herd" as possible.

Tease her, but calibrate it so it is not too personal else you will put her in a negative state (such as talking about things that would elicit bad emotions). Keep the teasing on a general level. Then move on from topic to topic by threading/leading the convo.

[–]2awalt_cupcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teasing her about asking questions never crossed my mind and yet it does seem counter-intuitive.

What other examples of teasing for asking would work out in our favor?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My only question: why do you hang out with this idiot?

[–]cmdrNacho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes girls are shy or ucomfortable and hard to pull them out of their shell to get them comfortable. In these cases I have to talk quite a bit about myself to try to get her to open up. Is this not the right approach ?

[–]babayega 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true, constantly talking about yourself and your accomplishments makes you sound like a supplicating beta. This is something I have been working on correcting. The questions is, if you have some awesome stories about your accomplishments, how do you DHV without supplicating. AKA, how do you brag without bragging?

[–]nomorelulu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really good advice, especially because most people today love talking about themselves. Most don't see the value in speaking less. You can gain a lot of valuable information by acting as the "interrogator"

[–]BimboChristie69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let a girl talk and pretend to be curious about our lives and pick up certain key points to tease us about. We love someone who pick up key things. Also we love some laugh and insecurities so we can get approval from you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's pretty cool that you friend's in a band though

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well written FR.

It always bears repeating that you need to tease and be flippant with them and this is a good contrast story. Nice work.

[–]Workout_Ham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I read post like this it reminds me that I have a lot to learn and a long way to go.

[–]tolerantman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are natural narcissists, there is nothing they care less about than other people.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She moves closer and I ask her where she's from to have that accent. She says she's from Italy. At this point my friend jumps into the conversation, that he's been watching, by talking about himself. "Hey I have an Italian friend! He works in HR too!".

Red flag #1

Meanwhile my friend keeps interrupting the natural flow of a good conversation. She's trying to talk about her family back in Italy and I'm trying to guide the conversation within the frame that I'm the guy she needs to qualify herself to. With casual teasing and light negs. And he can't stop trying to tell her that he's in a band.

Red flag #2

He interrupts to state this. "I'm in a band and play bass guitar", and the girl is clearly just standing there thinking, "I don't care". He says, "I just got a tattoo of a music note because of my deep love for music". "We're playing at (local bar) next week." Etc

Red flag #3

After she left he had to tell me more about the bar skanks he's fucked after a show. About how there's this one girl that's his FWB. That he's a real player (lol). He's so busy supplicating, even to me. I know all kinds of crap about him. He knows nothing about me because he has not earned that. I use the same game techniques on him as I do to her. And they work just as well.

Red flag #4

This kid is an embarassment. Are there any redeeming qualities to him that make you keep him around?

[–]Li0nhearted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And tease them for asking.

Can any1 elaborate on how to do this?

Also how to be judgemental about them yet still keeping it light and fun? I've messed this up often and stopped doing it, drove off girls offended often..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you avoid the interview frame while withholding information about yourself? Lots of teasing?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So wait. If you could have "number-closed her" - aka "asked for her number" in normal person speak - why didn't you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This'll be my first comment in this sub and I wonder if it gets me banned. A lot of this RP stuff is horseshit, it suffers from physics envy. Experience, and these field reports, tell me that you don't need to neg, to put on an air, to be someone you're not. You need to have presence. That is all. Work your inner game till you know you're someone, and then carry yourself like that someone. And if you can find it within yourself to actually be interested in what she's saying, so much the easier. She wants to be engaged by someone engaging, so provide that, and you're there.

[–]disgruntledearthling -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Nice lesson - you've got impressive game. Too bad you were with a retard

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

He's not a bad dude and he's got some real talent. And he's pretty intelligent. He's just young and still learning the game.

[–]disgruntledearthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey cruel - I'm reading your comment history. Great stuff. Great attitude!