LTRRed Flags: How to Judge your potential LTR (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever

We know that AWALT. We know about hypergamy, we know about branch swinging, and we know what the consequences are for ending up in an LTR or marriage with the wrong girl or the wrong frame. However, women’s mentality lies along a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum we see the most insane, malevolent, and dishonest women possible. These are best avoided. On the other end of the spectrum, we see women who, while still AWALT, are capable of being good girlfriends, wives, and mothers, and who, if you want to have an LTR, are the kind of women that you will want to look for. The only way to find these worthwhile women is to be very discerning in type of girl you allow to get close to you. This will require strict standards for yourself that you will need some discipline to keep.

Character judgement is a very important skill. To be able to look at a person’s behavior and infer what kind of person they are is absolutely invaluable. Especially with women. Very often when I hear about a guy getting fucked over by a girl, I think “There must have been a red flag. There must have been something in her behavior which indicated that she is a critical level of untrustworthy.” And there, while not always, there often is.

There are often clues in women’s behavior which tell us, “Can I trust you or not?” I’ve noticed some of these clues and I will share them with you now.

I think that the skill of character judgement is discussed too little on TRP. It really is one of the most important skills you can have. So with that in mind I decided to tell you about some behavioral traits that I’ve learned, from experience, are red flags.

Her opinion of people changes with her mood

All women’s perception of events is filtered through their emotional state, but not to the same extent. I have learned from experience time and time again that if a woman is capable of having a worse opinion of a person and their character because she’s in a worse mood, she cannot be trusted. This one is not negotiable. If she genuinely believes that someone else is bad because she’s having a bad day, she’s not someone that you can be close to safely. Just take this behavior and stretch it down the line. Would you want your children to have a mother who stopped loving them or behaved maliciously with your children because she was in a bad mood one day? I’ve seen mothers do this to children. You don’t want it happening to your kids.

She engages in gossip

Women who engage in gossip can’t be trusted. Their opinion of you can change based upon things that other people said about you behind your back. You’ll never be privy to the origins of gossip and you will never have a chance to set the record straight. There are women who refuse to engage in gossip and who don’t talk about their personal life. They are rare but they exist. A woman who refuses to gossip might be trustworthy, other factors depending, but a gossip can never be trusted. This is not negotiable. I will add also that a person who gossips about someone else is also gossiping about you. And gossip is never to say good things. For this reason you yourself should never gossip, and if you’re talking about someone who isn’t present, only say positive things. Gossip is a game that it does not pay to participate in.

She never views problems as her fault

If a girl always blames something outside of herself for problems in her life, you can never rely on her to be your firstmate on the ship of life. A girl has to be able to take responsibility for her actions, to realize when something is her fault and to be willing to take steps to correct it. If she isn’t, and she never believes that she can hold fault or blame, beware.

Her promises are flexible

If a girl says, “I hold X opinion,” and later behaves as though she never said this, or says something in direct contradiction, this is a big indicator of how much faith you can put into her words. Additionally, if she says “I will do X,” and then never does it, and this is a pattern, it indicates unreliability. For me this is fine for plates, I have plenty of plates who are totally unreliable. But if I am to share my life with a girl, I need to know that when she says “I think x,” or “I will do Y” that these words can be counted on.

Her explanations don’t add up

I have had a lot of experience with women. Sometimes I was a hard core red pill chad, and sometimes I fucked it up entirely. Not all my experience was successful. Every single time that I was lied to, deceived, or fucked with by a woman, there was one common strand to every single bad woman: she explained things in a way that just didn’t add up. The way she described her past, or her life, or her opinions, or anything contained holes that appeared odd or unnatural. In the instances when I handled this situation poorly, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Every time I gave her the benefit of the doubt in this situation, it bit me in the ass. If a girl talks about her life in a way that has details that don’t make sense to you, or you have some feeling in your gut that tells you “Huh… that seems odd…” it means that she is lying. Again – if she’s a pump and dump, fine, lie all you want just make sure you wore a condom and didn’t tell her your real name. I use “John” a lot. That’s one thing. But if you are going to share your life with her, these uncertainties have to be a dealbreaker.

She doesn’t show appreciation

Some girls will be delighted by the smallest things from a guy she respects. Some girls will have only one thought – why isn’t there more? I don’t think it’s possible to be happy with an unappreciative girl. I’ve seen guys try to date unappreciative women and if it’s not miserable at first, it becomes miserable eventually. By contrast, the best women (read: most well-suited for LTR’s) that I’ve known would be overjoyed if I gave them a fridge magnet or some little bullshit, as if it were a diamond ring. Because it’s not about the object – it’s about how much they value YOU. The fact that they appreciate small things isn’t coming from them appreciating the THING itself, it’s coming from how much they appreciate YOU and the fact that this thing comes from you. If the fact that it comes from you doesn’t mean anything to them, then YOU don’t mean anything to them.

She isn’t humble

The reason I included this one is because I’ve noticed that women who have a really high opinion of their own intelligence or self worth are easily offended. And you know what a scorned woman is capable of. I personally am a pretty intellectual guy. I’m not a bookworm but I love serious shit, both academic and in life in general. The women I knew who thought they were hot shit, either intellectually or in general, more often felt threatened by the fact that I actually know my shit and I don’t hide it. To contrast, the women I knew who said, and really believed, “I’m nothing special,” were in fact far more special than the ones who thought they were all that. Humility in a woman is non-negotiable. A woman with an excessively high opinion of herself will make you miserable eventually in an LTR.

She speaks ill of exes

Odds are, your girl isn’t a virgin. While marrying a girl with a notch count in the hundreds might not be the best idea, we accept that we are probably not going to be the first experience a girl has had. If a girl says bad things about the guys she’s dated before, it is a red flag. I recently read a post by /u/redpillschool about about the “light switch effect,” how when a woman loses interest she rewrites her memory of what happened with you as if the light switched from on to off with no grey area. This theory is 100% true – but it happens in different degrees with different women. Some women can, at any moment and for the stupidest of reasons, switch from on to off and forget everything good that ever happened with you. However, there do exist women for whom this effect is not AS extreme. If she speaks ill of exes it means that her light switch effect is very strong, and it means she can EASILY rewrite all the good things you’ve done. Either that or she is attracted to assholes and they really were all terrible, in which case, still a red flag.

edit: upon proofreading I realize on this one that I should add speaking well of exes is also a red flag. The fact that she's talking about ex-lovers to you in any amount of detail doesn't mean anything good for your relationship with her, unless you're really pressing her for this information. In this particular red flag I was referring more to the fact that she took it upon herself to make sure you knew this information. Which is, again, a bit of a warning indicator.

She doesn’t know how to cook

You may not agree with this one, but this isn’t coming from red pill purely logical analysis, this is coming from experience. Again, I’ve been with very, very many girls (not necessarily a natural chad but tall, good looking face, and intelligent, enough to always make it work) and I’ve noticed trends in their behavior. If a girl doesn’t know how to cook, I’ve noticed she is more accustomed to other people doing things for her and tends to be less reliable in an LTR context. I personally am a good cook and I don’t NEED a girl to cook for me. It’s not about the food here. The fact that she’s INCAPABLE raises a lot of questions. About her ability to take care of kids (if that’s something you want in your life), about her concern about health and inevitable weight gain if she can’t make her own food, about her femininity and pride as a woman. And about not being generally useless – cooking is easy and if you can’t do it, you’re an idiot. This goes for men. If you are a man and you don’t know how to cook, what the fuck is wrong with you, figure it out it’s easy and important for keeping fit). The most LTR – positive women I knew would start cooking and cleaning without being asked to when they visited my place because it was instinct for them. Again – I don’t NEED her to do this. I can do it myself. But the fact that she did was often accompanied with the fact that she was a woman who would rather be first mate than captain. You will find it interesting to note that most of these such women were not American. Look, I love my country and even though I’ve spent half my life abroad I’ll always be a true red white and blue American. But seriously man, our women got some issues when that LTR question comes up. I will throw out my two cents and say that IF I were to LTR/marry/children (which I don’t intend to do for reasons you all already know), my first choice would not be an American girl. Slavic/Russian women have a lot of cultural qualities that make them interesting for this kind of thing. If you’re interested in knowing why, let me know and I’ll make another post about it. But in any case, having no idea how to cook is a red flag.

She remembers offenses

A woman who keeps a list in her mind of offenses can’t be trusted. One day one of those offenses will be one of yours and it will be ammunition used against you. Now, you might say, “But all women do this.” Sure – but not to the same extent. That’s what I’m getting at with this post. If this is a behavior you notice regularly, if it’s something you’re seeing as a mainstay of her behavior in any way, it should raise alarm bells in your head. The best women I’ve ever known… (and yes, for those who think we TRPers are angry misogynists who hate women, I love women and I have known many women that I think are wonderful people, there is nothing in what I say here motivated by anger or hatred…) The best women I’ve ever known hated conflict with people, hated arguing, and preferred to resolve confrontation as quickly as possible and forget all about it so they could move on to peaceful relations. You probably saw Bill Burr describe his own mother in this way, and suggest it was a generational culture gap. These women never used past actions of mine against me in an argument or dispute.

Which brings me to my next red flag, which is entirely connected to this one:

She can’t discuss disagreements peacefully

I was saying: the best women I’ve ever known dislike conflict or argument. These same women, from my experience, are also able to discuss disagreements peacefully. Even the most perfect unicorn is going to have disagreements with you, but disagreements don’t have to be conflict. A woman that you can consider trusting is one who is able, when the situation calls for it, to attempt objectivity and reason with you. If she CAN’T, stay away.

I can tell you that there were times when I realized that I had been very aggressive and hostile when this wasn’t called for, and my sense of honesty and fairness compelled me to acknowledge to her that I realized it was uncalled for. Because I am very honest, it’s my nature as a person, I hate lying I love realness. I’m a minority in this maybe – A lot of TRP says you should never apologize and I don’t agree with that. In my preference, an LTR should resemble a power struggle as LITTLE as possible. I hate conflict too. I like real human companionship. In real life, people have flaws and sometimes we’re wrong, including me, and I’d like to be able to come clean in those cases without this acknowledgement being used as a weapon against me. So for this reason I include this trait as a necessity: because you need a woman who is capable of you admitting fault without ever wanting to use it against you. Because that’s how I want to live. I don’t want to live with a woman whose loyalty is unpredictable enough that she might lose respect for you if you acknowledged to fault when you actually were at fault. This is something that you can decide for yourself is important to you, or if you disagree with me. Results may vary. I know that what I’m saying here is anecdotal, I’m just confident enough that this is true because I’ve seen it every fucking time. And I’m already in the triple digits.

But back to this item as a criteria for LTR selection: This is my own interpretation of TRP that differs from the mainstream a little bit. I don’t share the idea that proper frame means not ever sharing ideas about how you feel, your weaknesses, etc. I think it’s more about HOW you share these weaknesses. Let’s take the example of unexpected unemployment. Someone women will drop you anyway for it. You don’t want them for an LTR. A woman worth an LTR should be able to see weakness in you without doubting that you’re going to bounce back. In the same difference that you might know someone is in a weakened or compromised position after not having slept a few days but that after a good sleep they will be normal. That’s the difference. They view it as minor and temporary rather than as permanent and dominant as a feature. It’s still AWALT – they will still hate weakness, they will still judge you for showing weakness, but they are more self aware and situationally aware to have a more reasonable understanding of weakness. To know that temporary setbacks don’t fundamentally change who a person is. So therefore it’s still awalt, it’s just a more self aware and emotionally mature version of it in terms of what you should be looking for from a potential LTR.

For me, if I can’t have moments of weakness due to life fucking happening (and no matter how fucking alpha you are, life WILL fuck you over at some point) and still be able to count on a girl to come out the other side with me, then she is not worth an LTR and I’m better off with just plates.

This is a TRP topic about which there is some disagreement so if you disagree with what I’ve said, I invite you to explain why. It’s something that the TRP community could benefit from some close consideration on because there are a large number of guys who are interested in TRP but also would like to have LTR’s or have children one day, and they view the two to be at odds. A guy’s desire for LTR or children shouldn’t conflict with his ability to swallow the red pill, so it benefits us to figure out:

Just how much AWALT should a guy be willing to swallow in order to have an LTR?

That’s part of what I’m trying to answer with this post.

She doesn’t try to understand things you care about

This one can also be written from the inverse:

If a woman tries to understand the things you care about, it indicates interest in you.

The reason I say this is because the most LTR-suited women that I’ve seen would make a consistent effort to understand and learn about the things that they knew were important to me. The fact that it was important to me was enough to make them interested in it. They might not be smart, they might not be educated, and they might not ever get good at it, but the fact that your interest makes them care about it is one of the indicators of an LTR-positive woman in my experience. And on a personal level it’s much more pleasant to interact with them. For example: if you’re really into something and it’s a pervasive part of your life, a girl who can share your enthusiasm even if she understands nothing about what’s happening makes it a shared bonding experience.

The red flag version of this is that a girl that can never have enthusiasm for anything outside her own interests. Let’s call it astrology, puppies, selfies, starbucks, and celebrity gossip. She really can’t get into your conversation about WW2 tank strategy that initiated after you saw that brad pitt movie because it was relevant. Discussion dies out. But we pass the shoe store and she's full of opinions. Pffft. That isn’t interesting to me. There are women who are able to take an interest in learning new things and be enthusiastic about it. They are vastly more interesting to have around than women without such curiosity. This should be one of your indicators in finding an LTR-worthy girl. These shared interests cannot be the source of attraction because she will never be attracted to you because you are able to share interests with her.

Rather, the fact that she is attracted to you will cause her to become interested in the things you care about. If isn’t ever interested, this means she’s not really into you.

She’s not sexually eager, open, and experimental

This brings us to the keystone of this list. This is the most important one. A woman who is really interested in you will want you. If she gives you reasons to doubt that she wants you sexually, or she shows hesitation, or is unwilling to be sexually open to you or consider trying something outside of vanilla that you’re interested [within reason], it means she’s not really interested in you. Every girl I’ve ever seen who was really interested in being with me had the attitude that she would do anything I wanted sexually [again, within reason] and if it was an idea that she didn’t like before, she became interested in it because she was turned on by the idea of doing something I liked.


We have discussed some main red flags for women you’re considering an LTR with. If you have others that your life experience has shown you, share them. If you ARE going to make the decision to LTR a girl, or to have children or attempt to create a family, it will be a decision of serious magnitude. You must be selective, you must be willing to rule out girls because they have unacceptable traits or you will regret it and your children may regret it as well. You must be willing to have your own standards and criteria for choosing a girl that you do not break, and you must be willing to ignore other people’s standards of telling you what you should want, who you should want, and when you should want it. They aren’t interested in what’s best for you.

If you think I've forgotten a red (or green) flag in women's behavior, say so.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 76 points77 points  (13 children)

She never views problems as her fault

This is a big one, and this is why you should take a good long time to get to know someone before LTRing them.

Things to look out for:

  • What happens when you give her constructive criticism? Does she listen and discuss rationally or does she dismiss and get angry? (See section on discussing disagreements peacefully.)
  • What happens when you correct her in front of others? Does she react normally or does she lash out?

Other things I would add to the list:

  • Is she bad/irresponsible with money? Money is the biggest sticking point in most relationships.
  • Does she treat life as you and her vs the world, or are you on the adversarial side? Is she on your team? Does she rush to your defense when you're being verbally attacked?
  • When the chips are down, does she support you or does she bail? How does she behave when you're sick?
  • Does she shut down attempts from other men when she's with you? When she's not with you?
  • How does she treat people to whom she is not obligated in any way? i.e. restaurant staff, those "below" her, the homeless, etc.
  • How does she treat the people over whom she has authority? Employees, kids, younger family members, etc.
  • Is she prone to contemptuousness? This goes along with the humility point above.
  • Is there a big difference between how she treats you in public vs. private?
  • Does she have anger issues? Is she slow to anger or does she go from zero to rage instantly?
  • Is she always bored and constantly wants to do or buy something new?
  • Does she have any sense of discipline, i.e. long term postponement of gratification for a greater goal?

Yes, the list is long and I could add to it endlessly. This is the standard I would hold myself to in an exclusive relationship so I'd expect the same from her.

[–]jackandjill22 16 points17 points  (1 child)

So true. Girls are so vain these days that they get offended at the subtlest slight.

[–]vagbutters 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What else do you expect from people who have been coddled like children their entire lives, with beta males and society at large giving them an easy time by virtue of their pussy?

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Is she always bored and constantly wants to do or buy something new?

Oh, is this one a doozy.... There is no keeping this woman happy. Just a constant need for something or someplace new... If not new, then only the expensive will do. Anything else is beneath her and the contempt (another bullet point above) just oozes from her.

Does she shut down attempts from other men when she's with you? When she's not with you?

Now couple the "always bored" then learn that she doesn't shut down requests from other men when you're not around, and its a disaster waiting to happen. She may even tell you that they were "only talking" - and it may be true - but you'll never know the truth. My personal experience had this scenario play out with a LDR and a LTR that went on vacation.

The picture that gets painted here is: The woman that gets bored with the known, will always find a way to entertain herself. If she has a hobby to do so, then that's a healthy outlet. If there is no hobby, then you're her hobby. If you're not around, and there is no hobby, so the next guy that makes a move will be her entertainment until you come back. Then from her perspective, you'll be "new" again.

tl;dr LTR someone that's into you, makes it obvious, and has shown respect. Any disrespect and she's not into you for the right reasons.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I must mention that I think everything you wrote here is correct. You are absolutely right, and these are all things you should know about before an LTR is possible. If a girl doesn't have these traits, you're asking for trouble.

[–]nicolauz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn. I saw the signs on an ex years ago and got out a few months back. Two years of a relationship and I stayed u for stability but saw the signs pretty early on.

[–]HS-Thompson 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Does she treat life as you and her vs the world, or are you on the adversarial side? Is she on your team? Does she rush to your defense when you're being verbally attacked?

I like this one as well. It's subtle but there's a lot of insight in that line.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of my friends who dated a foreign woman for the first time was very surprised that she seemed like she always wanted to support him and help him succeed. He'd never seen this in any of the American women he dated..

[–]squirrelcuisine 156 points156 points [recovered]

yeah as a married guy of 25 years I can agree with this post.

Id add another one that you can figure out on the first date so you dont waste time.

Is she nice?

How does she treat a waiter, Hostess etc.

Many people cannot hide this. There is a difference between ignoring the wait staff and actually saying "Thank you"

Source: found one 25 years ago.

[–]tiny_d3v 35 points36 points  (4 children)

This is super important - ability to empathize has been shown to be correlated with longevity of relationships.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I'm not surprised at all. I believe this is true - but just out of curiosity, you said "has shown..." do you know of a source for this?

[–]tiny_d3v 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can't remember an exact source since I've heard it across several podcasts and articles over the years, but here's an article that elaborates better than I can: http://theconversation.com/the-science-of-romance-can-we-predict-a-breakup-26041

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

What if the man in the relationship has a problem empathizing?

[–]tiny_d3v 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We can all learn to empathize better, it's a skill that can be practiced. There are plenty of books on it out there, one really great book for starting to learn empathy is 'What Every Body is Saying'. It teaches specific body language and social queues so that you can start learning to read people in better hopes of understanding them and their intentions.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Another one: is she a feminist or feminist sympathizer? If the answer is yes, no LTR.

[–]Nikelu 17 points18 points  (14 children)

Is she nice?

I knew my ex wasn't LTR material when she slapped her dog hard after a minor incident 3-4 months in. Now maybe I am taking this a bit too far, but imagine your kid getting handled like this

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 25 points26 points  (4 children)

I agree, but on the topic of dogs I'd add the additional comment that I consider excessive emotional bonding with dogs to generally indicate a deeply flawed woman.

Women who call their dogs children, in particular, and treat them as such tend to be women that I would never ever want to wife up. This behavior, along with catladyism, isn't indicative of good LTR material.

[–]vagbutters 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, but on the topic of dogs I'd add the additional comment that I consider excessive emotional bonding with dogs to generally indicate a deeply flawed woman.

This is the new millennial family from what I've seen. You have a cuck, his wife (who spends all his money), and the dog that they treat as their child. Dogs are pets, not substitutes for children.

[–]akolyteofthecentury 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's an old lady that lives in my old folks area. Has three little fluffy white dogs (looks kinda like a chihahua) who she calls her kids and talks to extensively. She'll go so far as to punish (read: not talk to) them when she thinks they're verbally fighting or when they're bickering about me behind my back.

Me Mum has been hanging around the salon and, who would've thought, this lady has been a single mother to 2 kids from different guys, of which she abandoned both about 30 years ago. THer son was too independent and the girl coz, apparently, she "was gonna steal my man"...

[–]ChrisBenRoy 7 points8 points  (2 children)

So my ex who drove me to TRP in the first place, we had a dog together. After we broke up we "split custody" of the dog. Which was a good thing because she wouldn't get a job and couldn't properly take care of it, and she was too interested in going out and whoring around all the time. So on my days off, the dog was w/ me.

We were still civil during this time and one day she was dropping him off and I had cooked dinner, and politely offered her a plate. She was sitting there eating on the couch and the dog was getting closer and closer to her, trying to get to her plate. She noticed it but didn't say anything and kind of smiled at me as if to say it was kind of cute how he was sneaking up. Eventually he made his head under her arm and licked a part of her food and she turn and slapped the living FUCK out of his nose. Never warned him, never corrected him or prevented it from happening, let him do it and then just blasted him.

She could tell it pissed me off because she immediately asked "Was that too rough?"

Long story short, she dropped the dog off two years ago and we haven't seen or heard from her since, and we are very happy.

[–]thisishowiwrite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's fucked. I'm not against physical reinforcement - it has its time and place. But if your dog is doing the wrong thing because YOU failed to educate it, then that's on you. Don't hit an animal who doesn't know better.

[–]acetylcysteine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar situation here. "Let's share custody of dog!" 8 months later the dog has spent 3 weeks with her and injured herself requiring surgery. She can't take care of herself let alone another creature.

[–]squirrelcuisine 9 points9 points [recovered]

Everything is a sign. I think you have to set your radar for these things up REALLY high and filter for damn near everything. I found my wife @ 19 and I knew within 6 weeks I had never experienced anything like this before.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Everything is a sign. As a society men have been taught that women are nice and good so we stopped analyzing subtle behavior. It is time to reverse that trend.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

we stopped analyzing subtle behavior. It is time to reverse that trend.

You've hit the nail 100% on the head.

If you're smart enough to catch it, everything a woman does indicates to you something about who she is. You have to figure out how to interpret it accurately if you hope to make good decisions with women in your future.

[–]DarthRoacho 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This goes for men and women. If you're smart enough you can catch it on both sides. Helps with business in my experience.

[–]afkb39sdfb 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you want to see what a person is really like, don't look at how they treat their equals, look at how they treat those inferior to them.

[–]Black-Pill 81 points82 points  (40 children)

To be brutally honest I think you need to add this to the list;

Is She taking Medication(s) for Anxiety, Depression, Bi-Polar or Border Line Personality Disorder

Having dealt with this in the past, I find it something that is now a deal breaker for anything other than a ONS at best much less an LTR... and only as long as there is no way she can actually find me the day after.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 40 points41 points  (21 children)

BPD = Run ... no exceptions. Borderlines are a whole other level of crazy.

As for the other ones (e.g. Depression, Anxiety), agree with you in general. Not saying they are necessarily bad people, but women with those issues often struggle to make good relationship partners, for various reasons.

May not be the most politically correct thing to say, but the reality is that you only live once, so it is critical that - for the people you let in close to you - to choose wisely.

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST 37 points38 points  (9 children)

My ex-wife is borderline, and I've spent a lot of time talking to professionals and others in support groups over this. Please, for the love of God, listen to /u/CopperFox3c and run. You cannot save these people, and I don't care if she's an HB10 who's willing to fulfill your every sexual desire, there is no pussy glorious enough in this world to put up with it.

The problem with BPD's is that they can be hard to spot if you don't know what you're looking for, and most of them are untreated. BPD is one of those disorders that a lot of psychiatrists refuse to treat because the doctors themselves end up being victims of the BPD's splitting. The reason for this is a lot of borderlines don't think that there is a problem, so bringing it up with them just makes things worse. Those I've met who have actually been successfully treated have usually hit bottom through a failed suicide attempt or something like that.

Her opinion of people changes with her mood

In my experience, this is the single most common indicator of a woman who's BPD.

Another one is the classic "I have no filter -- I say whatever comes to mind" some of you may have heard before. This essentially describes exactly what the brain chemistry in borderline people are -- they lack the ability to pre-process thought before action and consequently get themselves into a lot of trouble. Not only that, but they're proud of the fact that they don't think things all the way through before they say or do them. That right there kind of speaks for itself.

As far as anxiety goes... meh. Anxiety is very common and often situational. It's something to keep an eye on but not necessarily a deal breaker for me personally as long as it's acknowledged and dealt with properly.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (7 children)

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[–]IKickHorses 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Also beware of daughters of of NPD and BPD mothers. They may not have the disorder, but their socialization is likely trashed from being part of the madness.

[–]elevul 4 points5 points  (4 children)

How did you learn to socialize? Are there resources that teach sociopaths social interactions?

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Borderlines are a whole other level of crazy.

Can confirm. But I'm just an internet jackass. Aurini did a video about this, but he is also just an internet jackass.

You should believe us anyway, because this is not something that you want to find out for yourself. If you even get a hint of BPD, cut your ties, jettison your ballast and float away.

[–]Black-Pill 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Border Line is actually the worst in my opinion... essentially unmanageable is the unspoken consensus among the healthcare professionals I know

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I have heard many times about BPD in women, which I have not encountered but sounds horrific. Is it something particularly associated with women, or do men get it equally?

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 2 points3 points  (2 children)

BPD is a disease of emotional dysregulation. It is thought to relate to some sort of malfunctioning of the amygdala. There are 4 times as many women with BPD as men, for reasons we can only guess at.

On the flip side, men are 4 times more likely to have autism. The short answer is that men tend to have more logical (autistic) brains and women tend to have more emotional brains (i.e. BPD). We see that clearly in the patterns of pathology that affect the brain.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Now that is very interesting. I had never heard of BPD associated with men, so wondered about that (it has come up many times about women). I was aware that men are more likely to be autistic, and associated it with masculinity. That, pushed to an extreme, feminine brains become disfunctional through too much emotion, and masculine brains before disfunctionaly through too little is rather neat, actually.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there are some who argue that autistic brains are hyper-masculinized, while BPD brains are hyper-feminized, though that may be a tad over-simplistic. Either way, probably worthy of a post of its own.

[–]ChrisBenRoy 10 points11 points  (7 children)

Even worse, is that these days, many of those conditions you're describing are self-diagnosed as some form of merit badge for women these days.

"I have anxiety" - every woman in 2016.

[–]DrinkYourBleach 6 points7 points  (3 children)

"I have anxiety and a sensitivity to gluten".

[–]evoblade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh, gluten. The mysterious bogeyman that everyone is allergic to, but no one is sure why or what it really is.

[–]Black-Pill 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Self diagnosed and then self medicated (with drugs and/or alcohol) if they can't find a doctor to give them something....

[–]ChrisBenRoy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"Doctors" will prescribe anything these days, they are basically just selling a product. "I can't focus" and boom, you're the new plug for Adderall.

[–]Black-Pill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey they gotta make a livin' too, right?

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Without giving details, I know a woman who had bi-polar.

She had three children and a husband and killed herself.

You're correct to add these conditions to the list. That's not a problem you want to be responsible for in a family.

[–]Raz0rLight 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My mother has bipolar. The list of things that she's imprinted upon me is never ending. A fear of driving, anxiety, a reasonless hatred of my father. Its taken a long time to get over these and I'm not finished.

By biggest fear is now worrying that I will have to take care of her as she ages. The mental taxation would be fucking horrendous.

[–]Bielzabutt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Add this and all the rest and then think to yourself, have I EVER met a woman that doesn't have a few of these red flags...NO

[–]re_Pete 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Care to expand on that? Kind of in a similar situation but it's super early.

[–]spurdosparade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just don't stick your dick in crazy. Run, while you have time.

[–]TheRedStoic 66 points67 points  (16 children)

  • symptoms or admission of bpd

  • rape claims in the past, with no court pursued.

  • at any point admits to destroying an exs belongings.

  • at any point is found condoning any of the above to her girls.

  • alpha widowed. "not necessarily literally widowed"

  • bad/nonexistent relationship with father. Plate only.

Just a few examples from my experiences.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 15 points16 points  (9 children)

I agree with all from experience, except one. Respectfully, my experience differs with this one:

bad/nonexistent relationship with father. Plate only.

I knew women whose fathers died in early childhood and they had to take on more responsibility in the family growing up. They sometimes turned out as good women as adults. But a father dying in early childhood will surely not leave the same effect as having an awful relationship with a father forever, so I see your point.

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yeah if a parent diea from natural causes, medical issues, or unfortunate circumstances (car crash, deployed soldier etc..) it's a completely different scenario.

Women who have loser dads.. Beta pushovers, absentee man children who cant bother to consider the welfare od their kids, alcoholics, abusive etc.. is different. But does not always mean the girl is shitty. She could have also had a goos uncle who played a positice male role or something or a solid step dad. Unfortunately though, most women who marry and have a kid with a fucking loser arent going to have great judgement (or the smv) to secure a better mate.

Personally, most girls ive met with loser absentee biodads like this wind up schlicking on webcam for money, getting passed around badboy circles, attention whoring on soc media, and generally just have this jaded bitter outlook on the world where they resent successful people and talk shit about them.

The inverse and having helicopter parents can also be damaging too. Theres a fine balance to a correctly developed personality.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 15 points16 points  (5 children)

rape claims in the past, with no court pursued.

Update this to any claim of rape.

  • If she wasn't raped, it shows she's a false claimer of rape. Huge red flag.
  • If she has regret rape, again, huge red flag.
  • If she actually was seriously raped, then she has a ton of emotional baggage. While I feel sorry for her, we must be ruthless thanks to the gynocentric society. Instant hard next for mental problems.

So yeah, any claim of being raped, the details just don't matter at all. It doesn't matter what happened or what she did because every possible outcome is a giant red flag and an instant hard next.

[–]vagbutters 4 points5 points  (1 child)

she actually was seriously raped, then she has a ton of emotional baggage. While I feel sorry for her, we must be ruthless thanks to the gynocentric society. Instant hard next for mental problems.

Sadly I have to agree. But then I look at how women in general these days treat any guy with the same emotional baggage (PTSD, disabilities, etc.) and I have no pity. I didn't build up my assets (physical and career) just to put more effort into a girl who is damaged.

[–]alritealritealrite 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Also, watching her lie to others. Especially during phone calls.

My recent ex was an awful liar. She would always do the same thing with her eyes and I would call her out immediately.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I agree. Casual dishonesty should be included as a red flag.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (12 children)

A good write-up! A further red flag for me is the tendency for frequent clubbing, getting wasted weekly, etc.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I agree. I've seen women who were good LTR material who could drink, but it wasn't on their own regularly, and it wasn't bar hopping/ clubbing.

[–]yomo86 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We should sticky this post. A collection of objective red flags for the sidebar.

Your suggestion is good. If she is impulsive beyond the spontaneous bracket it is a red flag.

[–]HS-Thompson 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yes this is very important, and falls into a general category of having poor impulse control, including other examples like having bad credit, late fees, missing appointments, compulsive spending, etc. This is a massive red flag and I would put it near the top of the list.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

poor impulse control

You're right. I should have included this. Poor impulse control is a huge fucking red flag.

But it requires you to have enough discipline to notice your OWN flaws so that you notice hers as well. If you have poor impulse control, you might not notice her's.

You have to have your own shit together before you can really understand if her shit is together.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Main reason why I didnt take things farther with my last plate. She was loyal, good in bed, and attracted to me and a very nice girl..

But she drank like a fish and would get blackout drunk at parties. I noticed nips in her glovebox on a date once too.. Both of my parents are alcoholics and I have a few other close family who are hard drug addicts. All set with that.

She was also a pretty crappy cook (tortellini with no sauce and just grated cheese? The fuck?) And had really weird picky eating habits (she refused to try sushi and shes not vegan or anything like that)... I find it to be a huge bummer when I hang with people who are simply unwilling to try new foods.

[–]u-r-silly 10 points11 points  (2 children)

It goes within the self-restraint quality. Self restraint on her meal content, on alcohol consumption, on expenses, on lazy time, on having inappropriate activities...

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You shouldn't be downvoted. Self-restraint, discipline, self-awareness, and emotional maturity go hand in hand.

[–]elevul 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is something I do wonder about: is that a bad sign if she goes clubbing to meet high SMV men?

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (7 children)

She’s not sexually eager, open, and experimental

This can also be paraphrased as: You can teach a girl how to fuck, but you can't teach enthusiasm.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 27 points28 points  (6 children)

You can teach a girl how to fuck, but you can't teach enthusiasm

You are right. To add to this:

This is one of the reasons that TRP says too much experience in a girl spoils her LTR desirability... I've noticed that women with too much experience start to view guys as easily replaceable, expendable, because they see how frankly easy it is to find a new one because of their consistent sexual desirability as women. But that means that she might, as a result of such familiarity with other guys, view the connection you have as somewhat routine and fated to fade out quickly.

That's why they aren't enthusiastic.

Sincere enthusiasm from a girl who has no idea what the hell she's doing is so much more emotionally desirable for a man seeking an LTR than an emotionally detached routine with an "experienced" girl that brings about no real bonding for her because she's seen it all.. If any guy disagrees with me on this point, I invite him to tell us why.

[–]reigorius 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Does the same apply for guys?

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don't think it does. And I'm using myself as an example here. I'm fully capable of forming a deep emotional bond with a girl and my many past sexual experiences haven't dulled me in this way, but rather refined me.

The women I knew who were as experienced as I am were numbed to a real emotional connection from a sexual relationship and LTR.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is gold. Thanks for putting it to words.

[–]RPsage 14 points15 points  (4 children)

I would add one more.

How does she handle money?
If she can save and not go overboard, that is a big green flag. It can be an indicator of self-control which I deem the most important trait of a girl.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I'll add another level to yours:

She requires expensive entertainment.

If a girl had really high expectations about costly entertainment of any kind, but especially that she thinks you're paying for, in any context of the word entertainment, it's a red flag. She should be able to be content on her own, and not rely on you for entertainment at all.

The women I knew who needed to be entertained a lot, were not trustworthy and liable to resent you for moments of random boredom and then act on that resentment.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One caveat:

She should be able to be content on her own, and not rely on you for entertainment at all.

Her form of entertainment when you're not around should not be other men...

[–]Phroneo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You should update your list with this. And maybe other good suggestions from others. Expensive tastes are a big no no for me.

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 30 points30 points [recovered]

She never views problems as her fault

I have never met a woman who doesn't do this on some level. Some can never accept blame for anything. Virtually all of them try to blame shift things in a subtle manner, or pull up excuses for why things are a certain way.

It's very rare for a woman to accept accountability and when they do, it's normally through coaxing them to admit something. They will never just come out and accept they did something wrong for no reason.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I agree with you. But some of them are more adament in their avoidance of accountability, and some were able to step up to it with some dignity. This is a spectrum worth being aware of and very selective about.

[–]squidracer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

When you date one like this you'll know it.. My last ex took it to a different level. Even the little stuff was a major deal that was never her fault. Even when she rear ended some old man, his fault

[–]2Overkillengine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, Princess probably got raised never having to deal with consequences. So she is going to have an Ego calibrated way too damn high for her own good. Doesn't help that since puberty she has also had hordes of Orbiters and Chads saying whatever they think will get them in her pants too.

[–]jimmyharbrah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the only one I balked at. It's true that some are better than others, but I have never known a woman who didn't try to pass blame. Even when they admit "my bad," they don't really believe it themselves. They "know" whose fault it was/"why" it happened.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

If I feel uneasy about a woman, I next her. Simple as that, no bullshit.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This is true but I am trying to pinpoint WHY i felt uneasy. That is the next level of TRP understanding.

[–]G_Petronius 24 points24 points [recovered]

She doesn’t show appreciation

Very typical in high-power careerist women. They always have a next higher expectation, and meeting it will only unlock the next tier. Avoid at all costs for LTRs, you'll never be happy with them. To compound the issue, these girls are also generally never happy with themselves either: they're miserable, and they make you miserable. Pump and dump, if that.

She can’t discuss disagreements peacefully

Worse yet, she can't yield. A bad temper can be managed; a person whose ego is so fragile they can't ever admit to being wrong on something is intractable even if they're nice to talk to. A girl who never admits she was wrong is unwilling to yield power to you over the relationship even in limited respects, which signals a controlling, self-righteous personality. You don't want to be with this girl.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you know exactly what I'm talking about.

All of these will be traits that other men have seen again and again. It helps to know what you're looking for.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's sad that mentioning cooking requires a long justification. It really boils down to self-sufficiency. Not knowing a basic life skill is a signal of many other short comings. Not only do many girls not cook, they're proud of it. To me it's like saying you don't know how to wipe your ass and you're proud of it.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree. I especially note this trend (in my own mind, from my experiences) as associated with the kind of girl who can spend 7 dollars at Starbucks everyday and consider that normal.

[–]Specter242 10 points11 points  (6 children)

Excellent post. This needs to be stickied at least for a week.

"If you are a man and you don’t know how to cook, what the fuck is wrong with you, figure it out it’s easy and important for keeping fit)"

LMAOOOO That was really funny how you worded it but it is true none the less

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Thank you. It's true though. You have to be a fucking moron to not be able to throw vegetables and chicken into a fucking pot.

The only person who can't figure this out is someone who really doesn't care, and not caring is where the red flag is.

[–]Evileddie13 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Alton Brown, yo. "Good Eats",taught me how to cook. Really explains how cooking works. Buy his DVD's, and books.

[–]RedAntidote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His explanations are fantastic too because he breaks them down on a scientific level. It makes so many cooking techniques make much more sense.

[–]elevul 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I do have a doubt though: at which level do we actually consider it "knowing how to cook"? I have learned to make nutritional and cheap foods that fit my macros and help me in my fitness quest, but they are not always particularly tasty (as I don't give weight to taste) nor they have much variety (since once I have optimized the main recipes I needed I stopped experimenting further). Would you recommend actually learning to cook various top restaurant dishes for the sake of Game or keep it purely pratical?

[–]SingMeBackHome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just master a decent meal or two to cook for women you have over to your place. It can be simple, baked chicken/fish, potatoes, risotto, etc.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kept it practical, it was enough for me. As for not knowing how to make it tastey, this is something you should figure out but again it's not hard, just buy a few herbs or sauces to add to whatever and you're good to go.

[–]nevva_Again 27 points28 points  (7 children)

Until you have married a woman, don't ever think you know her, no matter how long you have been together

There are certain aspects of a woman's character you may never see during the dating period. She will put on her best display and hide any unattractive traits she has.

For any marriage/family minded man, your red flag detector is your best friend. Just like medical doctors rely on signs and symptoms to predict a disease, red flags are the best indicators you have to predict a woman's true character.

But the problem with most guys is not their inability to detect red flags, it's their hamster. They project the traits they expect their fantasy unicorn to have onto every girl they love. They overlook and rationalize a woman's bad behaviour and go ahead to marry her.

Both the female and male hamsters have one primary purpose, to rationalize bad female baheviour.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I didn't truly know my wife until I divorced her.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Without knowing your wife at all I can see immediately how that could be 100% true.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That sentence actually frightens me.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought I knew her but I was in for many surprises.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

But the problem with most guys is not their inability to detect red flags, it's their hamster. They project the traits they expect their fantasy unicorn to have onto every girl they love

Don't think you're immune to this just because you have swallowed the red pill or because you are an alpha. The most RP of guys who get complacent can fall into the trap of becoming overwhelmed with a really sweet BP fantasy.

Elon Musk got divorce raped twice. You're not better than him. Great men are constantly slain by the unquenchable horde of hypergamy. You are not immune to this danger.

I'm included in this. I'm willing to be honest and admit to you that I've fucked up plenty, with girls. And it's gotten me robbed, blackmailed, really fucked with. I know the consequences of misplaced trust. And I can tell you that you're making a gigantic mistake if you're ever overlooking your gut telling you "Something isn't right here." Pay 100% serious attention to this feeling.

[–]elevul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And it's gotten me robbed, blackmailed, really fucked with

Mind sharing some stories, especially regarding the robbing?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 25 points26 points  (17 children)

Blah blah blah blah girls can be awesome and the ltr will work out for you if she doesn't do this and does this instead...

That is a young man's perspective, either young in years or in experience.

Had the perfect little girl that did all the things you talk about, except in vastly better at cooking (most girls, not just her can't compare to my culinary skillz) and for 7 years she was awesome. Right there through deployments, hardships, getting fucked over by the state on behalf of my first ex, and she was kinky as hell. No hole was left unfucked by me, and I was the first man in all of them. She was submissive, pleasant to be around, we never fought and arguments were of the intellectual type not getting mad at each other. Very rational, logical, down to earth, and in the entire time we were together she never got fat and rarely didn't want to fuck.

Didn't fucking matter.

Good luck being more dominant than I am, a better more competent and capable leader than my ex military NCO ass. Sure you might be taller, better looking, make more money, but it takes more than that to keep attraction alive. Got married and 16 months later our divorce was final. Just over 9 years together without a problem, make a commitment, get sick from a chemical exposure and and she will show you that your unicorn is exactly like that shortsighted slut that fucks everything with a hard cock.

Awalt means exactly that. They will all do it. Yeah it's a spectrum, but in the end she is a girl, she has estrogen coursing through her brain, she will do the same stupid disloyal bullshit that every fucking girl will do.

Believe otherwise at your own peril.

[–]elevul 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Agreed. You can screen them as much as you want, but AWALT.

Though, to be fair, if you had kept her as only LTR instead of marrying her, she might have stayed as she was before, since she would have had competition anxiety pushing her.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Only married her so she could get health care. Wouldn't have mattered either way, she went full retard. If you knew the desperate loser she left to be with, you'd be laughing your ass off at her like I am.

[–]ApexScorpion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily. They will always want more or something different. A lot of them leave their men because they don't want to stay an LTR.

[–]fritopiefritolay 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, what would you recommend to a young man who is in-between searching for an LTR and MGTOW?

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck bitches, get money. live for you, girls are a distraction, a plaything, you have a future to build and a bitch will only drag you down. Fuck em for a while and forget em.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You're new here, aren't you. One bad one, fuck me you missed the point. The second ex was the best relationship I ever had, until I made a commitment, then she was just like all the others.

I got sick, couldn't breathe for six months, she met this kid who appeared better than me when I was sick. She never had a bad relationship, didn't know how good she had it, thought she could do better. Shortsighted, typical of girls.

Believe me, I know when they're going to cheat. I've seen it plenty from all angles. I knew exactly when she was going to cheat, when she finally did it, and I kicked her out by text within three hours. My life continues to improve, both my ex wives are going downhill fast.

I'm almost 47. My second ex is 34 this year, popped her cherry at 21. The first one is 42. In the three years since I kicked out the second one, I've fucked no less than 15 girls who are half my age, and have a few older girls who look decent that enjoy fucking me. They all know they will not get a commitment from me, they don't care as long as they get good dick.

I've been through more shit than you can imagine, yet I don't hate girls. You can think they're special of you want. You'll learn the hard way.

[–]squidracer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was only sick for a few weeks.. Six year relationship and she lost total respect for me in two weeks and I never heard from her again.. Thanks to the information age I found out she got desperate and is now struggling and dating a loser..

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My ex is living off her dad, so it's her loser boyfriend. Her dad keeps trying to get money out of me to pay for her. Yeah, fat chance. I got on great with her dad, he knew she was taken care of with me, but she fucked it all up to get with an entitled yet desperate loser that can't keep a job. It's hilarious to me.

I live in a small rural community, less than 300 people in 25 square miles. She lives near where the town dumpster is, so I see that neither has a real job by the vehicle always being there. Her dad will be dead in a few more years, then she will be unable to support herself and the loser.

Schadenfreude is one of my favorite things. She delivers on it even better than my first ex.

[–]Readinglevelup 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is anecdotal, but thanks for sharing. However, you should share more details about what happened when you got sick. Maybe the way you handled it made your value decrease in her eyes.

I don't know what happened so the next part might not be related, but: If something bad happens to you, you can't look to her for support. If you start complaining about shit in a way that makes you look weak, they will drop you. I had an LTR that had all of these qualities. She was from a religious family and was deeply in love with me. Willing to leave her family (which she was extremely close to) in order to be with me (I'm not religious so her dad would have disowned her out if she married me). As the relationship progressed, I became weaker and started complaining to her about how my boss was terrible to me. Didn't take long for her to drop me and move on to the next guy either. I doubt this would have happened if I had kept the same frame as the beginning of the relationship and kept the bad things that were happening to me to myself (or said it to a guy friend).

[–]michael_wilkins 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Great thread. Since AWALT "avoid the crazies" is basically like preaching abstinence to avoid STD's or pregnancies. It's right up there with communism in ideas that work in theory but are terrible in practice.

I've been wondering for quite a few months what the "end state" of TRP is, and I've seen quite a few threads or posts about that as well.

I think this is it, TRP Men shit test Women to find non crazies, we've spent so long making ourselves worth more in the SMP, so now we are in a position to shit test ourselves.

No doubt billionaires and athletes already do this, but we can organise and do it in a systemic manner.

This is the end state of TRP right here. Developing your own shit tests.

What are your thoughts on how to test for these red flags?

Realistically besides pregnancy, a Girl crying rape is the biggest threat you face.

If she's legit psycho and trashes your stuff, society will deem you the victim, no-one will care but you will be the victim on paper.

If she cries rape or gets pregnant, your fucked. Pregnancy is somewhat under your control, but her crying rape is a danger you cannot mitigate.

In my mind there are 3 scenarios for her crying rape:

1) She uses it to get back at you for a real or imagined slight. Basically if you piss her off, this is her only leverage against you, or the retaliation option she chooses.

Reflexively I'd imagine a Girl like this would have a history of attacking blindly against slights, does she get into fights with other Women when she's out and about? does she yell and throw a bottle at a car who's occupants say something to her, does she make herself to be the victim and use it as a weapon?

2) She has friends which convince her that you raped her. Wether she said she felt bad about it to her friends, or her friends are pure SJW's who forced her to believe that after 3 drinks she was blackout drunk and just steamroll her into believing it, or she's too weak to stand up to her friends is somewhat irrelevant, they both are determined by the company she keeps.

Great chance to ditch a girl who hangs out with aggressive, feminist and testosterone fueled women.

3) Her friends find out that you had sex in a toilet and shame her for it so to escape that she cries rape.

This is just a combination of judgemental friends and her cowardice, if she collapses under pressure and hanges her opinion to escape it, and/or her friends are judgemental and overbearing, I'd be worried.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Your concern about false rape accusations is legitimate. A lot of guys get caught off guard by this stuff.

What are your thoughts on how to test for these red flags?

My thought is that you have to train yourself to be perceptive and pay deep attention to their behavior and what it means about their character.

I have had a huge amount of luck with women from following my instincts. I am what you would call a "natural." But i also possess the ability analyze my instinct and see what behaviors set off my intuitive red flags. I want to share these realizations with you all.

All the failures I've ever had with women were predicted by an instinctive feeling that I ignored. I later learned what it was associated with and that I was foolish to ignore it. Those are all the things written here.

[–]michael_wilkins 4 points5 points  (2 children)

gut instinct evolved for a reason.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Anyone interested in this topic should read "blink" by malcom gladwell. You'll learn a whole lot about the nature of "gut instinct." Brilliant book, and recommended reading for every man or woman who wants to better himself.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 8 points9 points  (2 children)


"Will she accept and embrace your masculine polarity?"


This seems to me to be the true test.

All the things mentioned are default "untrained" characteristics of women as AWALT is the true raw material we start with.

Through the process of applying masculine polarity:

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies

...we gradually "refine" our pet to make her better.

If we fail to train our pet and fail to introduce the masculine-to-feminine polarity then it's over and you either Next her or Plate her.

Women begin raw and untamed... like wild horses.

The "good news" is they like being tamed... submission is their fantasy.

Game is the process where we train our women.


[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"Will she accept and embrace your masculine polarity?"

i think a lot of guys here would be interested to know what you mean by "masculine polarity."

[–]NeoreactionSafe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Men love women, women love children, children love puppies

  • Masculine polarity is going from left to right.

  • Feminine polarity is going from right to left.

Women look "above" themselves (to the left of the sentence) for their version of love.

Men love downward through rewards and punishments.

A man that does not train his puppy will have a poorly behaving puppy.

Judge the Alphaness of the man by the obedience of his women, children or puppies.

To the beta all the world disobeys him as they have no respect (love) for him.


[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp 16 points17 points  (5 children)

She never views problems as her fault

This is almost universal in women.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn't say it would be easy :)

[–]squidracer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which is why it's so hard to find a decent one

[–]Physio_Tool 1 point2 points  (2 children)

For the record, Ive had girls realise theyd fucked up and apologise saying they know they fucked up

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

So have I. AWALT doesn't mean "every woman is bad." It means something much more nuanced than that. To be really effective with women, you have to be aware of not only the worst end of the potential of their behavior, but along which axis this range of potential lies.

[–]Physio_Tool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

definitely, it makes me wonder who the hell people on here are meeting Sure I've had 1 shitty gf who was BPD, but I've also had two GF's that would actually feel really bad even if they did something that disappointed me which they would later apologise about. With TRP there's no excuse to get emotionally involved with narcissistic women. Most of these Red Flags you mention down_with_whomever can be chalked up to narcissism and/or undeveloped feminine instincts.

[–]AZTRP 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Excellent contribution with lots of truth. Younger guys take note and you will save yourself a world of hurt.

The ability to spot these red flags is affected by your frame, specifically the part of your frame that allows you to look at things objectively, as a casual observer (from outside the situation). Always always always practice outside observation of your situation with anyone that you are about ti give more access to your life.

I'd like to modify the cooking bullet to "She doesn't know how to cook and has no interest in learning" especially for younger women that might have come from a situation where learning to cook just never came up for whatever reason.

/u/down_with_whomever has outlined an essential list of behaviors that a woman can demonstrate that are indicative of her character. Younger women (teens to 22yo) might rely on a few of these as social tactics and they should definitely be considered red flags. Under the right conditions a young woman will learn to stop doing this. That is where reward for good behavior comes into play.

25yo and up these flags start to become "Toxic Waste" signs. (even though people have the ability to change and develop, the conditions that cause them to do so need to be more and more extreme the older the person is (e.g. Rock Bottom)).

I'd like to add summary explanations of why these are red flags:

Her opinion of people changes with her mood she is unstable

She engages in gossip she seeks external validation

She never views problems as her fault she has no integrity

Her promises are flexible again lacking integrity

Her explanations don’t add up unstable, no integrity

She doesn’t show appreciation narcissistic

She isn’t humble narcissistic

She speaks ill of exes no accountability on her part

She doesn’t know how to cook, and has no interest in learning as /u/down_with_whomever said, she's used to people doing things for her and expects this pattern to continue

She remembers offenses she has no frame of her own and relies on a list of your mistakes to make her look better.

She can’t discuss disagreements peacefully She is irrational and narcissistic. Any threats to her perfect self-image will be dealt with violent opposition.

She doesn’t try to understand things you care about Narcissistic. The world revolves around her.

She’s not sexually eager, open, and experimental yup

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

All of the traits listed apply to probably 99% of women in some way. They are female features, not bugs. AWALT.

What OP describes are actually indicators of a woman's attraction to a man and not really character traits. If a woman is really attracted to a man and wants to secure his commitment, she will be on her best behavior around him and give the appearance of being humble, unselfish, being interested in things he cares about, etc. If she gets comfortable and her attraction decreases though, all this goes out of the window.

Getting into a LTR is like doing a real estate deal where you are the buyer and you likely don't have accurate information on the history of the property, you can't do a thorough inspection before buying and you can't get detailed references from previous owners. Obviously the seller is going to dress up the property and show it at its best to potential buyers. In this scenario, the only way to not get burned is to avoid a purchase altogether and lease, preferably a short-term renewable lease.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In this scenario, the only way to not get burned is to avoid a purchase altogether and lease, preferably a short-term renewable lease.

You're probably right about this. I never advocated marriage. The risks outweigh the benefits, in my opinion, in our legal system and culture.

[–]Wel108 5 points6 points  (7 children)

I agree that a woman worth an LTR should come out the other side with you when you go through a downer in life; However, I don't think us as men should be overt about our feelings during that down time. They know that we're going through it, it's written all over us in our body language and lack of energy and confidence. Hamstering and talking about it will only make her doubt you even more, because one thing is being hurt and handling your shit, and another thing is voicing that you cannot handle it.

If she asks you how you're feeling it should be a simple, "well you know things are rough, but I'll get through it." It's not that she won't choose to stay with you if you show weakness by seeking comfort from her, but you're basically doing exactly what she doesn't want in a man. Leadership, strength, stoicism. Etc. This holds true even more for the kind of women we seek. We seek the type of women that have the captain first mate mentality, which means, she NEEDS a captain. Captain might be having a hard time, but the captain doesn't ask the first mate what route to take. The first mate is there to assist him in his decisions and support him.

[–]IdiosyncraticBanana 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If you're in an LTR that passed your litmus, you can express emotion as long as its direct.

For example, if she asks "What's wrong?" and your dad just died you can say, "I feel sadness that my father is gone. I am OK." you can then go about your day and she's not wondering what's up or if you really hate her cooking or something. "Oh, he's not upset with me, he's just sad his dad died." and then be done with it.

I'm talking about LTR because she knows you are fine and isn't worried because you always process and support yourself through this and you're not coming from a place of "needing her" (weakness).

When I've expressed emotions as a need when I tried to get the girl to mother me, "I'm so stressed out right now please hold me." I cringe just thinking about myself, but its true, I did, and they became disinterested in me very fast as well they should. Absolutely pathetic.

I believe you can express emotion as a statement and not as anything you need from them and that is a position of strength. The easiest way to do that is to legitimately not need them for emotional support and the rest flows naturally.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I understand your point. It's probably a matter of personal preference.

For me personally, I sometimes talk through these things in the way that someone who lost a chess game might talk about which moves from which pieces to which locations led to you losing your king. I don't say it with emotional fragility, I say it from a moment of defeat as a step taking momentum towards a more victorious next game.

It's weakness, sure, in a momentary contextual way but it's not weakness in a character way. If you understand what I mean. For me, a woman worth an LTR will be able to understand this difference.

[–]Wel108 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yes that's different. That's like saying, I made a mistake, but now I'm on the right path. Or this decision I made led to this problem, but no worries, it will be corrected. That's not weakness in character, that's admitting to being a human being.

[–]mikesteane 5 points6 points  (1 child)

One of the best posts I have read in a long time. Point after excellent point and the comments have enriched. This should be stickied.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything I post here, I write from experience. I hope that other guys can learn from my successes and mistakes.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

This is gold. It's one of these valuable posts, which make up for browsing through this subreddit.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Thank you very much.

I'm a teacher. This shit is in my bones, I can't help it.

[–]RedAntidote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to say, I love your writing style, it makes for very direct and effective communication of your points.

[–]limpboy 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Wow. This is very reflective of my Ex and the current girl I am meeting. In short

Ex: Club Addict, high-power career woman, high partner count, plastic surgery and shit load of make up, wears slutty clothes, many guy friends, monkey swing into another guy when I got sick, was raped but wont discuss details, bad relationship with her father, hates and loves her family based on moods, does not take responsibility for anything AND smokes. Smoking is a big red flag. Sex is her only form of support

Current girl: Never went clubbing, Never Drank,Never smoked ,Religious but moderate, always asks about me, interested in my day, supportive, virgin who only wants to talk to me because I am looking to get engaged, red-pill father, she wont go out without his permission, hard worker, has zero experience with games, never dated anyone before, mature, and very considerate.

I am lucky I dogged a bullet, only to find someone so much better for me.

A warning, my EX was very sexual and fun. But that is not LTR marriage material. Choose your woman wisely.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

my EX was very sexual and fun. But that is not LTR marriage material

This is a common mistake.

This is one of the reasons why it's so valuable for a guy to learn to spin plates. He can internalize the abundance mentality and realize that he can find new women if he wants to.

THen he can be much more selective about who he'll consider for an LTR and thereby make much better choices.

[–]limpboy 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I am not sure I understand. Is it possible to turn the good girl to be as sexual as my ex? and I should do so by spinning plates?

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Erm, what I meant was that just becuase she's fun sexually doesn't inherently mean she's a good LTR prospect.

If that "good girl" is really into you, she'll become more sexual. Every girl is a slut for the right man. If she's not for you it means you're not her right man.

Mileage may vary. Sometimes it takes time to really unlock a shy girl's sexuality. But if it can't be unlocked for you, it means she doesn't really want you.

[–]limpboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the explanation. That is something I learned from all of this.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I would add that she is dismissive of your concerns, calling them unimportant. Big red flag I have missed in the past.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I'd include this as a subpoint under "she doesn't care about things you're interested in."

If she doesn't care about your concerns, it means she doesn't care about you. Take note.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

When I was younger, I thought I was a great judge of women because I felt that I could quickly tell if a girl was crazy or not. There were two problems with that:

  • Anyone can tell if a girl is crazy. It's not a subtle thing.
  • Sanity is not the only measure for woman's potential as an LTR.

This is a great list of those other red flags. I wish I could have seen this post when I was younger, instead of having to figure it out the hard way.

[–]razorazo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I will confirm all of these and most of the ones mentioned in the other comments. The sad fact is that even though you see the red flags, the oneitis makes you ignore them.

the BP male hamster goes into overdrive and you create excuses to cover up the red falgs

part of TRP, for me, is suppressing my own hamster. always analyse her actions.

"i know she told you she cheated on her ex, but you're better than he was so she won't cheat on you" - she will action: she cheated

"i know she's selfish and superficial in general, but she loves you so she act differently with you" - she won't

example: i went to the mall with my ex a few years back around the Christmas holidays. I thought i'd be a nice guy and bought her a big ass caramel mocha wtf starbux and she startes bitching (and i mean bitching hardcore) that the cup wasn't red and that she would have liked a Chritmas toffe nut wtf..."next time don't buy anything that way i won't get pissed" - her words

"i know she has sudden explosive mood swings and she's a bitch now but she will be an angel later" - you don't have explosive mood swings, she does, that won't change without medication and you are not her pharmacist/psychotherapist (most likely)

Always assume that she is not a proper long term mate and see if she proves you wrong. The alternative is much worse for you

[–]_the_shape_ 4 points5 points  (3 children)

No mention of obsessive social media browsing or constant texting?

Massive red flag here. Such a woman will, in all likelihood, have a stronger relationship with her phone than you will ever have with her.

At best you will have landed yourself a girl who is constantly distracted and itching to check her phone for the latest zero-substance bullshit. At worst you will get all that in addition to enough dirt to tempt you deep into the anger phase. If her phone is constantly lighting up with texts (especially very late at night) and notifications, and if she guards her phone as if she'd stab you multiple times in the face for looking through it, you are dealing with a girl who should be no more than a plate.

[–]deepinsideout 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll add up some red flags from my experience:

Depression - run to the hills, don't be "saver" and don't let yourself to be dragged into the emotional roller coaster. You can't help them, they would not commit suicide in 95% if you dump them.

No feminine hobby - feminine, like cooking, painting, sewing etc. Chances are you will be hers entertainer, she will be boring and nagging. Plate material.

Obsessive "weird" hobby - some mention to avoid girls obsessed with horses, but I think, it might be any over obsessive thing, like astrology, eastern spirituality, collecting dolls. I'll stress the word obsessive, meaning that for her it would be more important her hobby than you or anything else, even her own kids. Those women are crazy, run ASAP.

Eating habits - is there any eating disorders in her past? Any kind of tried multiple diets, picking food or eating trash. Vegan or vegetarian for multiple years? These are big red flags, it shows insecurity, low self-esteem and it will affect cooking thing, she will not cook you juicy steak and you'll not find pleasure of eating ice cream together because of "it contains sugar".

Spirituality - finding inner-self, travelling to see guru, waves of Universe, all that BS, if you hear something of that you're dealing with the fucked up person. Their minds got melted down, now they are heartless zombies who will hamster everything because the Higher Voice told them what to do. Don't fuck with this shit, I had burned hard by this.

[–]Whitified 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post is gold

99% of TRP posts speaks truth, but only 1% speaks wisdom. Im glad to have just read one

[–]Banned_For_Opinion 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure all women share these qualities...

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never said it would be easy. But I'd rather be single with plates than in a bad LTR or failed marriage. Better to have high standards that are hard to meet, than a crash and burn LTR or marriage given what is at stake.

[–]Il128 6 points7 points  (14 children)

She's juggled "boyfriends"

She's divorced

She's used multiple online dating sites

She offers up selfie porn

She ever had a Fetlife account

She asks for money

She leaves her kids home alone

She has pets she ignores

She has had a bankruptcy

She lives with someone and she's over the age of 24

She doesn't have a job

She lies about her job

She lies about her kids

She ever talks about being accused of abuse

She or her friends talk about how crazy she is

She has no problem talking about being slutty i.e. Slutty clothes

Her friends are sluts

Her friends are any form of lowlife i.e. Thieves, thugs, bums, single mothers, drug abusers, etc

She talks bad about her X

She has a night every week or month or whatever frequency where she is unavailable and can't even text

Her pussy changes its smell or taste on a frequent basis

She has sex related toys, clothes, or positions that are "new"

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

She offers up selfie porn

The girls I knew that did this had quite a lot of casual experience with guys. I think you're on to something here.

She lives with someone and she's over the age of 24

Can you explain further about this? You seem smart and I'm not sure why you say this.

She doesn't have a job

She lies about her job

Freeloaders should be added as a red flag, along with lying. I'm thinking of my experience and this comment rings true.

Her friends are any form of lowlife i.e. Thieves, thugs, bums, single mothers, drug abusers, etc

Shit I meant to include this as one of the original red flags in my original post. Chilling with thugs indicates a huge fucking red flag. This I've confirmed without question. If she keeps dishonest company, she is dishonest. End of discussion.

[–]Evileddie13 2 points3 points  (3 children)

"Her pussy changes its smell or taste on a frequent basis" Please elbaborate on this.

[–]Il128 3 points4 points  (2 children)

A faithful woman's pussy will be very consistent in taste and smell. Just before and right after her period it'll be different but consistent. When she's ovulating it will be a little different but consistent. The rest of her cycle she should have a consistent taste and smell.

If it changes there maybe something like an infection or pregnancy but this should be very rare.

A woman whose taste and smell varies widely and often is riding the cock carousel. You'll get sweet lube, bitter bleachy man cum, flavors from condoms and other lubes. Sex toys will change the taste and smell, especially cheap ones. You'll smell the body odor of men on her or men's cologne.

[–]52576078 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could add "has tattoos" to this list.

[–]Doc_Sithicus 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I wanted to thank you for well written post. I was thinking - damn, have you known my ex. Her biggest faults were lack of appreciation and lack of responsibility for her actions - it was ALWAYS someone else fault. The fact that she is a single mother now after I've ejected the parasite from my life resulted from her choices and she still blames me for it. I've got a good contact with my son and I'm saving your post so I can teach him about red flags when he's older.

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck in keeping a relationship with your son through the noise. I mean that sincerely. I hope he can learn from you. Sons need fathers.

[–]tuckermalc 2 points3 points  (2 children)

i was gonna make a joke about Loerai Gilmore (as seen on TV) but then I read the last bit out sexual openness..damn that hits the sweet spot!

[–]Endorsed Contributordown_with_whomever[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Who is that? I don't get the reference to this.

[–]yldwhisper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus, I literally put a check next to every list item - the only thing my ex ltr of 8 years DID do was cook. (The breakup is what inspired little beta bitch me to swallow the pill). Literally hit every other mark on the head - good list, and one I whole heartedly agree with.

[–]Stythe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty much every women I know, even if she's mostly good, is guilty of at least several of these. Many of them are guilty of all of them.

[–]DJGammaRabbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this post. Every single time that I was lied to, deceived, or fucked with by a woman, there was one common strand to every single bad woman: she explained things in a way that just didn’t add up.

[–]zedsdedforever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post. My father's friend was diagnosed with gulf war syndrome after his stint overseas. His wife was cheating on him while he was deployed and decided to divorce him. She stopped the divorce after realizing he was placed on life support due to GWS and he may not survive. This man who was deemed to die by the doctors made a miraculous recovery. They divorced and he began dating again eventually. As a young teenager, I asked him what his new rules for dating was and he said that after staring death in the face, he did not put up with female bullshit and would leave them at the drop of the hat if they said anything "STUPID" or simply if it didn't add up as in OP's explanation.

[–]Endorsed ContributorTheeRyanGrey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You nailed 95% of this and I applaud you. It's not angry or irrational and it's not disrespectful.

The two parts I'd like to discuss are gossip and responsibility.

All women gossip. It's just what they grow up doing. It's a sport. Men show off our physical prowess and gossip is women showing off their social acumen. Now, if it's relentless bashing that's a different story.

Secondly, women never take responsibility up front. Won't happen. Never met a woman who does and never will. Their immediate response is to always Blame something else.

A good woman eeventuslly takes responsibility and learns from her mistakes

[–]PlusGoody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kids (unless a widow). Debt (unless from an MD or MBA). Tattoos. Older than 25 unless you're over 40. Bigger than a size four; mom bigger than eight. More than occasional drinking or pot smoking. Any harder drugs.

[–]condude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd add to the list something about if it's clear that a girl can't or won't take care of themselves physically. If a woman is overweight, to me it's a sign they likely don't care about their health and I could never be attracted to that.

[–]HmanJonezofARC42 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This was great dude well done excellent clear easily discernable list of great indicators of red flags.. Well fucking done.

[–]BlackJ1 1 point2 points  (2 children)

OP you have seen to have forgotten a big ass red flag:

She doesn't respect or hates her dad.

This one is a TRUE non-negotiable. A women who doesn't respect her dad won't respect her husband.

[–]maxnarvaes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Basically I would have to be single my entire life, LOL

[–]WerewolfofWS 1 point2 points  (1 child)

God damn. What happens if you're a guy and you exhibit the same behaviors lol Is that perfectly fine?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good observations, this disqualifies every woman I have ever known from a LTR.

[–]ECoast_Man 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couple of points -

1) to fuse two of your points, if a girl refuses to speak about her Exes whatsoever, or if the descriptions/explanations don't add up (well we only dated for a couple of months, yet clearly it was a year or more). This type of past-hiding is a huge red flag for me.

2) Friends. Both know and assess her friends. Sluty friends are not phased by, or even encourage, sluttery amongst their ilk. Secondly, I don't trust girls that have very short term friends. I don't mean to say you need to be friends with everyone since middle school I have found with 100% accuracy that a girl who can't maintain friendships with other women for longer than two years is because she's hiding something.

[–]vagbutters 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am going to do a writeup on your point about cooking and domesticity in general. It is one of the biggest redflags that often gets underplayed or goes unnoticed here.

[–]52576078 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, lack of interest in taking care of the people in her life is a massive red flag to me.

[–]bustedcougar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This thread is a goldmine of wisdom. Thanks to all here.

[–]OilyB 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Great, great, great post OP. I'm going to have to learn these by heart, your lessons are unmitigating observations of the almost unseen character flaws in bad women, almost all modern women. Thanks, very good work, listing all these!

[–]Tiborik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This write-up lingered with me since I read it. There's one critical one I want to add:

Is she a picky eater?

If so, and it's not due to legitimate allergies, then it's a serious red flag for me. One, it means she's never really been hungry, and so lacks grit and determination that comes with that experience. Two, she was probably spoiled in this area as a child, given the luxury to eat what she desired instead of being taught that we must eat to live, not always just living to eat. Three, you will never get to share the experience of trying and enjoying new foods together.

[–]ApexScorpion 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Caveat emptor: If she has these qualities, they are subject to change. They can have these qualities and then switch up at anytime.

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