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Red Pill TheoryThe 15 most common mistakes I see day in and day out on AskTRP after having posted there the last couple of years. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by RedditAdminsSuck_88

Summary: I've been posting frequently on AskTRP for about 2 years now and here are the 15 most common mistakes I see day in and day out. Mistakes that aren't worthy enough individually for their own thread, but combined together are


1 - Thinking TRP is about women and only women

This is probably the most common mistake I have seen in AskTRP. It's really easy to spot. There are too many posters who come in, post some problem, and its blatantly obvious they haven't read the sidebar because the post is littered with things you would never see from someone who has at the very least read the sidebar. As if they think AskTRP is a relationships advice sub like relationshits, OKCupid, AskWomen, etc. As if they assume TRP is some magic philosophy/mindset you adapt to get women to like you more, and its some easy ideology that can be adapted in 15 minutes before the bell rings at school and they see their crush out in the hallway.

I understand AskTRP is an advice sub, but what good is red pill tinted advice going to be if its clear you have no clue what TRP stands for? At the very least read the sidebar and have some ideas on the basic tenets of TRP.

TRP isn't some magic ideology you apply and fix your problems overnight. It's a process. It's a marathon, not a sprint. It's an on going process. There is no "end". You continue to work on yourself. You continue to get better. There is always room to improve. So if you are looking for a quick fix to woo your oneitis, or some kind of a shortcut to get your dick into a girl's pussy, this isn't the place for you. There are plenty of subs on reddit that just give out basic relationship advice.

2 - Not Fucking Lifting

My favorite question to ask posters who clearly fall into violating the first mistake I posted. I'd say 75% of the time, the answer is no, or some kind of hamster as to why they aren't in the gym being serious about lifting. Men, there is a reason why we emphasize lifting so damn much. Besides getting stronger, and getting in shape, and getting a better body, the natural high from testosterone racing through your body can cure a lot of problems. You'd be surprised. Had a bad day? Feel like shit? The gym can cure that.

There is no excuse not to be lifting. If you can't afford it, then stop worrying about women, go get a job so you can afford it. Get your own life in order before worrying about women, and that includes lifting. Lifting should be one of your top priorities, way ahead of women. If nothing else, lift.

3 - Acting like a dog and returning to its own vomit

So many posts on AskTRP. "Hey, I saw my ex, what should I do" or "My ex texted me, do I respond" or "Should I try to get back with my ex?". The answer is always no. She is your ex for a reason. Either you fucked up by being a beta faggot, and the amount of investment required to change her view of you as a beta faggot isn't worth it. Or you were alpha and she dumped you anyway, and therefore she isn't LTR material since she is a branch swinger. A dog returns to its own vomit. You are not a dog. Exes should always be nexted. Period. There are 3.5 billion other women out there. Going back to your ex is backdoor oneitis. Why focus on damaged goods?

4 - Getting easily offended over stupid shit

These posts grind my gears because its silly. They are very common. "Help, my friend is disrespecting me. What do I do?" or "How do I keep my boss from showing disrespect toward me" or "My friends insult me. How do I stand up to them?". These posts grind me gears because I read the said posts and the things these posters are getting offended over is really weak, low level petty shit that's not worth the energy to even make an AskTRP post about. What you need to do is not give a fuck and ignore it. If your friends are picking on you or giving you a hard time, its because you have reinforced their behavior by reacting to it in the past. If you stop reacting to it, they will stop picking on you, because its no longer fun for them. Men don't pick on confident men who hold frame. If its your boss, tough shit. Find another job or deal with it. He is your boss, so you do what you are told. It's not worth risking your job over.

Ignore them. Hold frame. Amused Mastery. It might seem that by ignoring them, you are letting them show you up and get away with it. But its really not, because you are showing you are above it and don't care by ignoring and not entering their frame. Especially because a lot of these types are doing it to get a rise out of you and bait you into reacting. The only time you should stand up for yourself is in self-defense after being struck, as an absolute last resort. This goes for white knights too.

5 - Not gaming women in person first

Gaming women via Tinder or Social Media or dating apps should be done as a supplement, not your main method of gaming. If you don't have your in-person game down, what makes you think you will be able to game these women online once you meet up with them in person? Reading these posts where the posters don't game women in person and only try to game them on Facebook or Tinder make me cringe because its obvious they are too afraid to do it in person and therefore think that it will be easier behind a keyboard. All you are doing is shifting the eventual awkward disaster to when you meet up instead of the initial approach. Get your in-person game down first.

On a second note, please for the love of God do not add women you want to game on social media until well after you have met with and interacted with them in person. Preferably, don't add them on social media at all, its entering their frame. Make them do it. Way too many AskTRP posts have something along the lines of "I've never met this woman or talked to her in person before, but I added her on Facebook and she added me back! Is this an IOI?!?!". If you want to end your chances with a woman before you ever speak to her, add her on social media. One way ticket to landing in the "creep" or "coward" box.

6 - Doing drugs

If you have your life in order, have met your goals, have a lot of money in the bank, are where you want to be financially, have your retirement accounts going, have your body in the shape you want it to be, and are where you want to be career wise, do what you want. Until then, stay away from drugs. All it does is the "D"s. Derail your goals, delay your goals, destroy your goals, destroy your health, destroy your finances, etc. etc. etc. It's not worth it in the long run. Too many posters on AskTRP talking about doing drugs like its no big deal and then wondering why they have problems in their lives whether it be with women, finances, or career path.

7 - Thinking that they HAVE to have a girlfriend

Hey men, there is no rule that says you must have a girlfriend, or even plates. That is female thinking. This is how women think: "If I don't have a boyfriend, then people will think I am an ugly loser that no man wants and I will be alone forever!!!". Reading posts on AskTRP I feel like too many guys have the same mindset because they make posts about their LTR or girlfriend and its clear they are trying way too hard and are having to invest way too much to make it work.

The best thing you can do is next a woman. If the woman is not adding value to your life and is more trouble than she is worth, don't put up with her. Next her and be free. I don't see why so many of you put up with the shit you do just so you can "Have a girlfriend". Talk about putting pussy on the pedestal.

8 - Not paying attention to red flags.

I get that everyone has preferences, but there are some red flags that you just can't ignore. I love reading AskTRP posts where the OP is posting about some girl he is gaming, and says the girl is a militant feminist, or is bisexual, or does drugs, or can't control her drinking, or has dyed rainbow colored hair, or multiple piercings, or some kind of obvious red flag and then wonder why things aren't working out with her.

9 - Not having your own life in order

Are you unemployed? Are you broke? Are you still living with your parents? Are you recovering from addiction? Do you not have enough money for a gym membership or means of transportation to get to one? Do you not have your shit together? If so, stop worrying about women and focus on yourself first. Once you get your life together and in order, then worry about women. All women will do is delay you from getting your shit together. They can wait. Besides, being unemployed or broke or living at home will dry most of them up anyway.

10 - Not escalating

A common AskTRP question is "Is this an IOI?" or "I am not sure if this girl is into me, how should I proceed?". When in doubt, escalate. If you aren't escalating, you are drying her out. Escalating is the only way to find out if she is into you or not. Here is the deal. You will get shut down 100% of the time if you don't escalate. So hamstering away a lack of escalation because "I don't know if she is ready" or "I am waiting for the right time" or "I don't want to move too fast" will dry her up anyway and get you shot down later. It's only delaying the inevitable. Women like men who take charge and make their intentions known up front.

11 - Not valuing your time

This is common in AskTRP posts where the OP is posting about where he went wrong and why she didn't fuck him or want to go out with him again or whatever. Often in these stories I see something along the lines of "We texted all day" or "We met at the coffee shop and talked to each other for hours". Do you not value your time? Talking to a women for hours without any escalation is basically saying "Here I am, your emotional tampon" to her. All you will do is dry her up and give her the green light to dump everything on you and turn you into an orbiter because you talked to her for hours without any kind of escalation or making your intentions known, and therefore she will view you as a weak coward too afraid to make a move. Escalate early, escalate often. Don't be the chump who texts or talks to women for hours upon end without escalating, that is what orbiters are for. Don't be an orbiter.

12 - Cohabitating

This is a basic Tomassi Iron Rule that needs no explanation. Do not live with women you aren't married to or are planning to marry within 6 months. Period. Way too many posters on AskTRP who cohabitate and hamster up reasons why they do. Out of the dozens of reasons I have heard, not one of them is a good reason for doing so. Yes, you have a choice. If you are living with your LTR because you are broke and can't afford your own place, go back up to point #9 I made. Get your own life in order.

13 - Putting up with masculine behavior

Is your LTR a girl who goes out and gets blackout drunk trashed every weekend? Can she control her drinking? Does she get way too wild when she goes out? Does she do drugs? Does she get into verbal fights with other women, specifically strangers, when she is out? Does she have a potty mouth? Does she disrespect strangers? These are all masculine behaviors and therefore should eliminate her from LTR consideration. This is not LTR worthy material. Again, 3.5 billion women out there. Find one who doesn't behave like that. If she is already your LTR, demote her to plate. An LTR worthy woman should be feminine, not masculine.

14 - Not being direct when arranging meetup logistics with women

I made a post about this a couple weeks ago. Do not ask women out. Do not ask them what time works for them, or when they are free. Basically, do not put the ball in the woman's court when it comes to logistics. You are a busy man with a lot of shit going on in your life. Therefore you dictate the time and place and simply tell her to come along for the ride to join you. If not, oh well, you still went out and had a good time and did whatever it was you did. Practice outcome independence here.

15 - LDRs

There are 3.5 billion women on this planet. Are you telling me you have absolutely no options around you and have to resort to an LDR on the other side of the country or in another country? Really? These are extra pathetic when the OP met the girl online and not in person. Get out there and game women near you in person that you can actually meet up with. It's hard to have abundance mentality when you are longing for some LDR 3 time zones away. It's nothing more than oneitis.

If your LTR moves away either temporarily or permanently, its not worth keeping the relationship together anyway. Women have short attention spans. The moment she meets Chad in her new city, she will forget about you in a heartbeat. No matter what she says and how strongly she vows to be faithful when she moves away.


Lessons Learned:

  1. TRP is not a shortcut or quick fix ideology. It's a process of self investment.

  2. If nothing else, Lift

  3. Don't go back to ex's. Hard next and move on.

  4. Learn to be a man and not get offended over shit.

  5. Get your in-person game down before going online.

  6. Don't do drugs.

  7. You don't have to have a woman in your life. Don't put up with their shit.

  8. Do not ignore red flags. Pre-screen with the obvious ones.

  9. Get your own life in order before worrying about women.

  10. Escalate Early. Escalate Often.

  11. The more time you spend interacting with a woman and not escalating, the drier she gets and the more likely she will put you in her beta orbiter box. Do not talk to a woman for hours upon end without escalating.

  12. Do not cohabitate unless you are married or plan on getting married shortly.

  13. Masculine behavior should eliminate a woman from LTR consideration or require you to demote her to plate.

  14. Do not ask a woman out, tell her where you will be and what you will be doing and invite her to come along for the ride.

  15. LDRs aren't worth the investment.


[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 169 points170 points  (17 children)

LDRs are the same as falling in love with a camgirl, for fuck's sake.

[–]vagbutters 49 points50 points  (3 children)

No, it's even worse. A camgirl is fucking other men without it being "cheating" on you. A LDR will fuck Chad and leave a beta crushed.

[–]slay_it_forward 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ya happened to me in my younger days.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally just happened to me last month. Sloots.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are indeed correct sir.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Even MDRs suck. I had an ascended plate that lived 2,5 hours away. It broke down because she couldn't have me when she needed the feels. Girls need to be residing within a one hour travel radius for effective long term game.

Feelz are a spur of the moment thing, be it her wanting affection, drama or a good fucking. Having to travel for hours simply doesn't compute in the chicks brain.

[–]verify_account 10 points10 points [recovered]

1 hour ha? I don't bother with girls who live more than 20 minutes away.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 5 points6 points  (0 children)

45 minutes is the sweet spot. Unless you like Crazy Clingy to bang on your door in the middle of the night

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm in one but I still have other plates, I guess it doesn't count as much But it ain't bad. I get to keep her around, without doing much. The way I explain it, it just sounds like she's another plate , but she's not.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just keep those other plates spinning.

[–]JimmyTheIntern 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Penpals with benefits. Fuck that.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]1theoctopuss 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Only if she's a plate. If you're dating a girl you see only once a week, you need to raise your SMV so you can bang girls that are in your area.

Dump her and smash on women that are in your area, i.e. within 5-10 miles.

[–]FreeRadical5 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Bit extreme ... I see my current gf once a week (we're in the same city) and would run into serious timing issues with the rest of my life if I saw her more.

[–]VTMSCHVSVCTRY 3 points3 points [recovered]

This post made me laugh. Good one.

[–]antariusz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I live too much in the sticks, or my SMV isn't nearly as high as what it should be, 1 hour aka 30-35 miles is much better for me. I live out in the suburbs of a decent sized city, my limit is suburbs on the other side of the city and anyone in the city limits. If I limited it to 10 miles, that's literally my one small suburban town and like half the town over.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 58 points59 points  (1 child)

This should be stickied and required reading before you post on AskTRP.

We get the same mix of questions on AskMRP. 99% of the answers are: Dude! Read the sidebar!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

BPP:

More or less the same mix on askMRP. There it seems to be something like this:

1) Focusing on the wife's failures, problems, issues, baggage, hangups and insecurities while putting little attention on those of the husband

2) Failure to lead/hold frame

3) Husband doesn't have his shit together. His job, his hobbies, his relationships, are all fucked up. He has no life of his own beyond his shitty job and his life at home.

4) Relative to 3), husband submitted his entire life to an identity as husband to wife, instead of being man with life

5) "I read the sidebar. I've been RP for a couple of weeks. I'm ready to divorce/cheat/give her the boot. Take us to Dread Level 12!"

6) An inability to recognize signs/symptoms of wife infidelity. "My wife is talking to an old BF of hers from college. He's seen her in person a couple of times. They reminisced about sex a few times in texts I saw. But I'm 100% sure she's not cheating on me!"

[–]RedPillFreedom 35 points36 points  (12 children)

TRP is the process of going from suicidal BP cuck to a man that respects himself.

My oneitis is self mastery.

That growth will never leave me. The skills earned from working on your self will always be loyal.

Put yourself first. No one else will.

Nobody has your personal interest in mind. They are just using it to lure you in and get what they want from you. (Calibrate based on context)

Everything is a game. Don't take life so serious.

Reduce instant gratification behaviors to avoid being a slave to anything.

Continue to grow everyday. If you aren't then you are just delaying your progress.

Edit: When you focus on you. You become a magnet and bitches become attracted to you.

[–]Docbear64 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The feeling that "Everything is a game " has been really new to me, another thing i've embraced since swallowing the pill and it's just fascinating for me to think of all the opportunities i've missed in life by not taking myself too seriously.

I went to a networking conference not too long ago and realized how easy people were to talk to, how chill it was to get a drink and dance with a complete stranger, and just really enjoy myself. Women aren't that important, jobs matter but i will always be able to sustain myself if i learn and make sure i always have value in some context.

It's just been a liberating lesson i have really embraced lately. Things matter but i can't count the times in my past i talked myself out of good opportunities because i belived making the wrong step would cause the sky to fall.

[–]p3n1x 2 points3 points