Field ReportRandomly Refuse Her Sex. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by WhiteKnightFgt

Summary: Refusing sex at random intervals instills dread, spins the hamster, and demonstrates high value.

Many of you have probably had a plate or LTR try to weaponize sex at some point in a relationship. She may do so for whatever reason, but it's usually when she wants to be exclusive, change your behavior, or just test your frame in general. The point of this post is to demonstrate the benefits of reversing this dynamic.

I took one of my plates to a 4th of July fireworks show. Throughout the encounter I teased her with kino and periods of affection, aloofness, and negging. This drove her crazy, and by the finale she couldn't keep her hands off me. Sweet, I thought, I'm going to walk her back to my place and fuck the shit out of her until morning. Well, I may have had too much fun with her, because she started giving me shit on the way home:

Her: "Wouldn't it be great to have nights like this more often? It's so nice to actually go out and enjoy each other's company"

Pay attention to her language here. She covertly sets the tone of this conversation by injecting "actually go out" Great. This plate, like all the others, has finally decided to try for exclusivity. Now, I do enjoy this girls company. She is fun, witty, and attractive. In fact, I currently see her more often than any of my other plates. I have conditioned her to associate us having sex with spending a few hours having fun. While sex is the key component to any relationship, ours is unique because I can genuinely enjoy going out with her. Because of this, we do go out and enjoy ourselves quite a bit. And I don't call her over just for sex like some of my other plates. But, perhaps I had been spending to much time with this girl, because she was about to push hard trying to lock me down.

Anyways, I handle this shit test with a pressure flip. Not my favorite way to deflect, but I was thinking on my feet here. Besides, your body language and demeanor are equally as important when handling shit tests. The last thing you wanna do is stare at your feet thinking of the perfect response.

Me: "You don't think I see you enough?"

Her: "Well, remember last Friday when I wanted you to come see me at [Bar Name]? You didn't even text me back until we all got home. That really bummed me out"

Me: "Ahh, you're right. That was absolutely terrible of me. To not come running to you on short notice. Absolutely appalling. You should really find a guy who treats you better"

Her: giggling "Yeah I know. But does it really have to be like that? I mean, I feel like, what we have could be so much more"

Fuck this shit is annoying. I've deflected two shit tests and she's still pursuing. I decide to shut it down:

Me: "Yes. It does have to be this way"

We then fall into silence for the rest of the walk. (Pro tip: Silence is golden. You should never be the first to break it. Being comfortable in a silence she may find awkward is empowering) When we get back to my place, she makes small talk as if nothing happened.

At this point, I am somewhat annoyed by her not apologizing. She knows the boundaries, and she knows how I operate with women. She took a night that we were both enjoying and decided to take advantage of our fun to make a power play. Such behavior is completely unacceptable, and I knew that if I wanted to maintain this relationship as it is, I had to respond decisively. However, not quite wanting to kick her out of my place so late on 4th of July, I decide to try out a different method, one inspired by Daniel Rose's Sex God Method . I calmly poured myself some water and told her that I was tired and would be going to bed.

LOL. Her reaction was immediate and resembled something akin to a stricken puppy.

Her: "W-what? B-but... I thought we could maybe..."

I cut her off in an emotionless voice.

Me: "Fuck? Yes, I know that's what you thought. I know you've been thinking about it all night. But you've killed my mood, and now I'm going to sleep. Goodnight [Plate] Feel free to leave"

I could hear her little sobs while I lay in bed. Fuck, I hate it when girls cry, but I stay stoic. I think she stood in my living room for a solid 15 minutes before she crept in to join me. When she climbed into bed, I sighed and rolled over. She moved to snuggle up against me and her pussy was dripping wet against my leg. She wasn't wearing any clothing, even though she usually sleeps in a t-shirt.

Guess who had their morning wood taken care of for two hours, breakfast in bed (had to wash the sheets anyways), and their house tidied? Oh, and she called me today to announce she'd bought us tickets to a baseball game, but that it wasn't a date and she wouldn't be mad if couldn't make it.


  1. Rejection is an extremely powerful emotional trigger, especially for women. Emotions, positive or negative, serve as potent sexual energy. Read the Sex God Method for more insight on this. It's one of the better books in the sidebar.

  2. Reversing the sexual power dynamic in a relationship works to your full advantage. It establishes that not only are you not subject to manipulation via sex, but actively see giving sex as something she must qualify herself for. Women are the gatekeepers of sex in a relationship. REVERSE THIS DYNAMIC. If you steal this role from her, not only will she behave better to receive sex, you will have actually stolen her main source of power.

[–]dickie_smalls 576 points577 points  (18 children)

i applaud your self restraint from the pussy leg

[–]indivisibleremainder 322 points323 points  (16 children)

i applaud your use of the term "pussy leg"

[–]jamesbond0512 51 points52 points  (15 children)

I applaud your acknowledgment.

[–]improvingme63 44 points45 points  (14 children)

I acknowledge your applause.

[–]Seishuu 29 points30 points  (1 child)

wtf is this, askreddit? leave the lame comment chains at the door please

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I applaud your feeble attempt to be the adult in the room

[–]RedEyesBlueShades 24 points25 points  (11 children)

Your acknowledge I applaud.

[–]snorted_the_red_pill 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I acknowledge all of you gentlemen's acknowledgments of acknowledgements.

[–]BenjiDread 3 points4 points  (2 children)

It's acknowledgments all the way down!

[–]yumyumgivemesome 25 points26 points  (1 child)

We are officially no better than the rest of reddit.

[–]audscias 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You mean there is MORE reddit besides TRP?

[–]bustedcougar 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Acknowledging is half the battle.

[–]gives_heroin_to_kids 13 points14 points  (2 children)

What's the other half, applauding?

[–]WilliamBott 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Certainly better than slick legging.

[–]Rommel0502 128 points129 points  (19 children)

My brothers ex-gf once tried to weaponize sex with him. He didn't touch her for the next month. Never happened again. Never reinforce bad behavior.

Edit - guy doesnt only do it with sex. Once, another LTR complained that he "didnt call her that day," completely ignoring the fact he just worked 18 hours straight. He didnt call her again for two weeks. Problem solved.

[–]ronsoness 35 points36 points  (12 children)

There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond that had a situation like this. Ray decided to reject his wife's advances. She became self-conscious and also realized that his sexual affections for her were just as important as hers to him. Also, I read it's not uncommon for some unhealthy marriages to end up with wives using sex as currency. Sex in marriage really should be about an expression of affection and not something to bribe the other with.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself 37 points38 points  (7 children)

Sex in marriage really should be about an expression of affection and not something to bribe the other with.

A long term plan for many hamsters is to starve their men of sex to the point that he either cheats or brings the issue up (ie "pressuring me for sex, your honor") and she has enough leeway to divorce-rape him while not coming off as the bitch. Marriage 2.0 is all risk for men with a small chance of breaking even

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (6 children)

I find it's mostly not that deliberate and planned. he's just lazy and unfuckable.

[–]snorted_the_red_pill 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I agree. It tends to be a more unconscious thing that just evolves rather than any kind of malice, as I see it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I would actually like it if life was a case of sociopaths with breasts. Guys tend to do well embracing competition. It's a much sadder state of affairs when a nu-male moves from one mommy figure to another, and uses xbox and weed to completely dry up a vagina.

I know there's a lot of justified anger and resentment over societies great white-knighting, and on the flip side... Not a lot of guys have even bothered to keep up their side of the bargain.

Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

It's not even marriage 2.0 griping here. Just being a man seems damned difficult for many now

[–]CryptoManbeard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's difficult because it's the opposite of what we grew up with, and as I've noticed, most of us have very few real world role models to emulate. TRP is nice but it's not going to undo years of programming and societal pressure without serious effort.

TRP = The Red Pill. The Matrix. Most people don't even want to admit it exists, let alone get out of it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not just that. I had tons of it growing up, but over the years, it was slowly stripped away.

Sometimes, just consolidating it is all thats needed

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and weed to completely dry up a vagina.

Don't forget to mention the shit loads of other stuff us guys do to pussify ourselves, weed is one tiny minuscule example.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They will push you as far as you let them. Most of these guys just need to tell their wife to STFU and take off your clothes.

It is certainly not deliberate or planned. That is giving them far, far to much credit. They are acting 100% on their emotions in the moment.

[–]slimcoat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I remember that episode. I absolutely hate it, because as soon as his wife found out what he was doing he caved like a little bitch and the writers made it very clear that the audience should think what he was doing was wrong. Really irritating.

[–]ronsoness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't remember that part. I only remember him giving her the cold shoulder. And his laugh, haha.... great sitcom.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex in marriage really should be about an expression of affection and not something to bribe the other with.

Let me guess you are not married. We say they are all tricks and hoes and we mean it. My wife would be happy if I just took my paycheck and put it on the nightstand when i am done.

[–]Apexk9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unknown reinforcement the silent killer of Dog ownership.

[–]aanarchist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i think people try too hard with logistics. it all comes down to, is she being good to you? if yes make her feel good, if no complete and total abandonment.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Her: "Wouldn't it be great to have nights like this more often? It's so nice to actually go out and enjoy each other's company"

"Yep. I think I'd love to have fun like this more often...perhaps with some other girl who doesn't ruin a great night by finding a way to complain about it...."

Women have a single trump card. Devalue it, and they really have to scramble to demonstrate value to you.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Women have a single trump card. Devalue it, and they really have to scramble to demonstrate value to you.

This might be the one sentence summary of the red pill.

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (53 children)

As he pointed out Women are the gatekeepers of sex in relationships. Men are the gatekeepers of Commitment.

The best sex you will have with a woman is early into the relationship. If you are a man of value, eventually there will come a time when she tries to secure your commitment.

If you commit then her reason for supplying that sex is gone. You have committed and gave her what she wanted all along. So don't commit and she will continue to supply it. (Obviously eventually if she doesn't get your commitment then she will be forced to find a man who will commit. aka THE WALL)

[–]__ZEAL__ 60 points61 points  (33 children)

Eh, my last ex just kept getting more and more slutty for me as time went on. 6 months into that relationship and I was actually having a hard time keeping up with her. Fuckin wild that one, she just loved to be fucked though.

[–]rpm612 42 points43 points  (10 children)


What is this?

[–]bluedrygrass 17 points18 points  (9 children)

"Those girls"? Aka almost any girl. Female sexual drive is as high if not higher than men's. A lot of low energy men those days.

It's just that for them, it usually can't be just sex. It's an exchange value, a stock market, and they're volatile enough to not being able to enjoy it for trivial reasons.

They masturbate as much as males and more, not having to ejaculate. And with the right (much higher) men any woman will fuck multiple times a day every day.

[–]snorted_the_red_pill 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Even though female sexual drive can be just as high as men's (especially with low libido men from jerking off or whatever), women and men have different relationships to sex.

For women, it's fun, it's enjoyable, yeah yeah. But they don't need it.

For men, it's fun, it's enjoyable, but it's a physical need just as biting as hunger.

[–]LaRedPill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not according to my experience. Every girl I dated after the pill is sex thirsty, they pressure me for sex, they get angry if I don't fuck them.

[–]P4_Brotagonist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You want to talk about an even stronger dynamic than what you just said? I still sometimes have a hard time separating sex and love(I just can't seem to beat it out of me I always catch hard feelings after every fuck and have to kill it, but it's always hard).

I've learned that the romantic "making love" shit is complete horse shit for at least 90% of women. Every girl I've ever been with, even a 9 year relationship before I was RP she always told me "sorry but it's just sex to me. It's just something fun that I like to do, and I'm sorry you feel something more from it."

I've yet to meet a girl when I fuck her that "feels anything" from it quite like I do.

[–]__ZEAL__ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's because women can completely separate physical from mental. They can fuck a hot man with no attachment whatsoever, even if he's a total POS, and not feel a thing. It's why they place so little value on sex, and part of why they endlessly complain about men placing so much value on sex and attractiveness. The two aren't connected for most women.

[–]verify_account 9 points9 points [recovered]

Female sexual drive is as high if not higher than men's. A lot of low energy men those days.


I'm not saying women don't love to fuck, but men have something around 13-17x the testosterone than the average woman. Even your low test betas have higher drive than most women.

[–]HandsomeCub 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude... the relationship between sex drive and testosterone is more complex than more equals more... its more on how sensitive your cells are to in response to things like this. Its likely men feel the swings in testosterone more though, of which sleepy time is when your body is flooded with it... as well as orgasm

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also humiliation and stress push it waaay down

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They masturbate as much as males and more

No they don't. Some do. Some are insatiable, but not more than men on average. Not even close.

Women will fuck multiple times a day FOR A PERIOD OF TIME which is suspiciously close to the amount of time it would take to hook a cave man and impregnate a cave woman. After that, it will drop off to manageable levels if you are lucky, to twice a month if you are typical.

[–]fugued 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Describes my current GF situation exactly. She wants wake-up sex, early-to-bed sex, and nooners on the weekends. And we've been together over 3 years. I can pleasure her all the time, but I become disinterested in myself getting off when it becomes too frequent. I don't want to discourage her, though, because...damn it's nice to have pussy on tap 24x7. And she gets feisty when we go a day or so without.

[–]Tyler_Gatsby 16 points16 points [recovered]

It's not easy to keep those black snake moan bitches beat down with one dick... This guy fucks☝

[–]The_Man_on_the_Wall 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Please tell me thats a Silicon Valley reference.

[–]diziple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a movie. Sam Jackson. Good flick.

[–]Tyler_Gatsby 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Haha- yeah, I don't really watch the show, but that bit was funny as hell!

[–]The_Man_on_the_Wall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They had a throwback to that scene this season that cracked me up and is why that line was so fresh in my brain:


[–]thrway1312 9 points10 points  (11 children)

Catholic girls are the best thing to come from catholicism.

[–]bluedrygrass 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Ignoring the whole civilization thing. That you would never leave for a second or third world shithole.

[–]Brazilianimproving 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ahem... i love in a third world shithole and most here are catholics lol

[–]Brazilianimproving 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless you mean an even shittier hole like muslim and african

[–]HuskerMedic 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Bullshit. Wife of 24 years is devout Catholic and she is so uptight about sex it isn't funny. May be hamstering but she claims all her Catholic friends are the same.

[–]An_All-Beef_Engineer 3 points4 points  (5 children)

she is so uptight about sex

with you

You're not bringing that side out of her.

[–]Trpidation 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Painful truth, but truth nonetheless. I promise you bro, this is 100% the reason. You're not bringing out that side of her.

[–]Nhiyla 2 points3 points  (1 child)

well lets be real here, 6 months isn't exactly LTR, sex goes downhill the longer you're into a relationship in most cases. 6 months is imo still fresh and exactly where you go wilder and wilder till you hit the 1-2 year mark.

[–]__ZEAL__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, was just using it as a context for the comment I was replying to. I honestly didn't care to dread game or anything, and just let the relationship be comfortable because I was lazy when it came to the relationship and didn't give a shit about her leaving. In order to not deal with annoying comfort tests all the time I just made her feel like I wasn't going to leave, because even though that makes them lose attraction I didn't give a shit if it ended. Just that I didn't have to deal with annoyances.

[–]nothere_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hahah im dating one currently,needless to say my frame has to be in the gym all the time.

[–]__ZEAL__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh, just pick her up and fuck her that way. It'll help you out with your goals, and work stability muscles pretty well. There's nothin like a freeweight that moves on it's own for working those

[–]aDAMNPATRIOT 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Jesus christ so you've never had a relationship where the sex stays constant and good?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The more important point is that if you don't commit to her and fall into her frame she will continue fucking you and won't withhold sex.

Most women want a man who will commit to them eventually. I am not that man, at least not at this stage of my life.

[–]aDAMNPATRIOT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The more important point is that if you don't commit to her and fall into her frame she will continue fucking you and won't withhold sex.

Or if you don't fall into anything and are actually a man, she won't want to withhold sex regardless of what "frame" you're afraid of

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]manslutalt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Guys who lie to women in order to get laid. Who use women for sex while avoiding the whole "I never intend to get married, ever, and certainly not to you" conversation, then dump her when she gets too attached. It makes complete sense.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't call this a random refusal of sex. It was a deliberate and purposeful response.

She attempted to use your good mood to push for something you wouldn't have given under normal circumstances, and you shut her down by demonstrating what little power she has over you (well-done, by the way).

This kind of salt-the-earth strategy will never become obsolete, because a woman will continuously test you to make sure that you are the same man now that you were the first time she surrendered her eggs to you.

[–]homelessWOOKIE9 23 points24 points  (4 children)

(Pro tip: Silence is golden. You should never be the first to break it. Being comfortable in a silence she may find awkward is empowering)

I like this. Never thought of it this way

[–]Barsukas_Tukas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Its like you create a shit test for yourself by being silent and pass it by appearing comfortable. Thats fucking genius (no sarcasm).

[–]51pctAttack 3 points3 points [recovered]


Being comfortable in silence while other people are squirming is a skill worth honing.

[–]forcevacum 122 points123 points  (15 children)

While I applaud the result you got, it's not a direction I would go in. All plates want you to commit (it's a given) and I think you overreacted in shutting her down so abruptly. Women are the emotions that they feel and she may remember the night you made her cry the next time you don't reply to her when she's out at the bar and sling some other dick. Agree and amplify always works best to keep the magic working. Causing drama is what women do and that's what this situation seemed to turn into. I agree that withholding sex is very powerful, "I've had enough sex recently" gets the hamster spinning.

[–]CuriousFloyd 51 points51 points [recovered]

Ah, but he's not looking for a relationship. She probably does that sort of thing anyway and the thing about plates is that they will inevitably drop anyway. That unwanted conversation was shut down fast and with the desired effect. Success!

[–]livelearndiee 18 points19 points  (0 children)

he's not looking for a relationship

This af

I don't see why it matters if my plate of a year and a half remembers the time she was home alone all day and invited me for an all day fuck and food-fest and I rejected her with very short answers "nah busy" "with what" "stuff" she knows I fuck other women so she probably assumed that but I actually just chilled that day... I was seeing her way too much and was making myself too available. Save the worries about how she felt for the bitch who will tie her down and will apologize a million times and promise to never make her feel like that ever again. Yeah there's her getting pissed off and possible rape accusations, I'm sure I can defend myself against with texts but I'll admit I could strengthen my defense.

[–]1jb_trp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

His power play only works if he has a high enough value. If he were a rung or two lower in her eyes, she'd drop him so fast and somebody else would be getting their dick wet with her.

Whatever game you play can't seem like "game" or else you've already lost. It needs to feel natural and not calculated.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed, it's not THE way to handle a plate who wants "more", but it's a way OP used to his full advantage.

The way I learned to deflect these storms is by acting all relaxed and fatherly-like, instead of dropping into a defensive crouch. Instead of addressing the point of her girl power talk directly, sprinkle in some of our own:

"Aw, I think you just asked me to go exclusive. No serious, you totally did. You wanna be the 4th july wifey huh?"

And then you defuse her "shocked denials" with nonverbal affection, hold her, tickle, etc. At least for the time being, her power play turns into pure happiness and glee, for simply being recognized that it's a cute thing she did and you like that she likes you that much. It creates that intimacy they always crave, and notice how she's in the natural position of the supplicant. She's the one who's craving a treat, but daddy never said she'd get it yet...but maybe...just maybe....

This way works for me, but it definitely comes short on the "pussy leg" factor, I did not make her cry but then I did not get that kind of epic results out of it either. Choices, selections...

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You're a goddamn fucking wizard sir. Nice job.

[–]1rlh1271 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This wasn't randomly refusing at all. It was deliberate.

[–]Newdist2 35 points36 points  (6 children)

But that's abuse!

(when men do it)

[–][deleted] 21 points21 points

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

sadly it is brigaded by morons.

Some comments are really terrible which would've been downvoted to hell two years ago, now they're relatively high.

[–]WhiteBarbarian 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Yeah. That post about how to settle living in frugality is not the goal I intend to standardize to. That really is not our philosophy.

[–]manslutalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being frugal is great. You don't get rich by spending your money on excessive consumption and depreciating assets. Why live as a wage/debt slave your whole life?

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Me: "Ahh, you're right. That was absolutely terrible of me. To not come running to you on short notice. Absolutely appalling. You should really find a guy who treats you better"

You call that a pressure flip? That reads like A&A to me. If you believe this counts as a pressure flip:

Me: "You don't think I see you enough?"

Then you failed. That's not a pressure flip since it didn't phase her. In fact it gave credence to her position. The ideal pressure flip should reduce her to a babbling incoherent mess that you can then mock for your own amusement.

Good recovery later and a solid move to declare ownership as both gatekeeper of commitment and gatekeeper of sex. Really all that's going on here is a reassertion of the dominance/submission dynamic that she challenged. Your game was initially weak, so she felt there was no threat in continuing to challenge you. Then you dropped heavy dread out of nowhere and she submitted.

Your commanding requires a little work in that you shut things down like a sledgehammer when she's out of line rather than consistently reinforcing the correct dynamic. It will work, but it's inelegant. Try including more regular commanding behaviour in your general times out and about. Order her around more, tell her what to do. When she makes little irritating moves then mock her for them. Tell her she's stupid to do X for whatever reason then laugh at her. Mock her insecure behaviour and tell her insecure girls are unattractive. These are the consistent tools for moulding the correct behaviour you want. They reinforce the correct dominant/submissive dynamic in her language through the subtext "you will behave in an attractive manner for me and if you don't then I guess your SMV is lower than I thought."

[–]WhiteKnightFgt[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hey NW, love your contributions.

First comment you mentioned was definitely agree and amplify. Said with a smirk. I agree asking her what she thought wasn't the best comment, but it was good enough with the right delivery. Out of curiosity, what would you have said?

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I disagree that it was good enough with any delivery. It gives her whining too much credit. Shit tests must not be taken seriously. A response to a shit test must also break rapport, your question did not do that, no matter the delivery because as you can see from her response... it opened the door for further whining.

Out of curiosity, what would you have said?

I don't know the exact words that she used so I can't be certain this would be appropriate, but probably something akin to "awww, is poor baby/kitty/(whatever child-like thing you like to call her) getting all insecure?"

But as you say, you're not really one for pressure flipping and I wouldn't recommend trying to imitate a style of game that doesn't suit you. Keep it natural. For example my pressure flips are so honed that my main plate regularly gets reduced to just making random noises at me in response and then showing me affection with kisses and hugs. But that's because it's my natural style to be the smartarse.

As I said before, you appear to be doing fine but if you add more commanding into your general interactions with her and use it to reinforce the correct dynamic, (then when she steps away from that dynamic drop that dread and/or tell her she's suddenly rather unattractive), then it should slowly mould things into a much more manageable partnership.

[–]LaRedPill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best answer here.

I didn't like

Me: "You don't think I see you enough?"

either, you are completely entering her frame here, her game was weak as shit but another girl can easily win that argument.

[–]Capt-n 27 points28 points  (4 children)

This reminds me of the time my ex implied I won't be getting laid for a while for being an asshole. And I replied with 'no, no.. YOU won't be getting laid for a while.' And walked away smiling.

[–]HandsomeCub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this mentality, i seriously jumped on reddit to rant about how many women frame men as vile for being interested in sex and 'are nothing but dogs', but then turn around and worship the dick. Growing up and listening to these prudish women and censoring yourself to apparently please them is incredibly uninformative. Men should feel entitled to define their own world of whats normal and what they want in life, not take the romantic comedy that many women pose as the ideal. And then i stumbled onto this amazing post... it is truely a powerplay, women control sex because we let them define the market in this department... probably because every well adjusted guy had been indoctrinated and internalized that women are sensitive around sex, but was never told men are just as sensitive around sex if not more because they are extemely worried about how they are seen as creepy rapey or an asshole if they take on the persona as the one defining sex.

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently had used this framing too... because you know they want it... and how dare they use that to control you. If it is fair game by their rules, then it is fair to use it against them

[–]Ghostilluminati 5 points6 points  (2 children)

This is an awesome post. Very difficult for most guys to pull this kind of thing off.

Women should not be the gatekeepers of sex in a relationship, as they are the gatekeepers of sex before one begins.

Sex should be baseline for couples. It should never be something that she gives you, or you have to ask for it. It is the minimum. No sex no relationship. Once this frame has been set then you will have no problems, as any attempts to withhold sex for control or manipulating will be met with you showing her the door

The reason most guys are fucked and their LTRs / Marriages are shit is because they have allowed sex, to be wielded against them, like the strings of a puppet.

Once a women sees she can manipulate you even once through controlling your access to sex, she will be intoxicated by the power. Yet the issue is society has men believing this is ok. The average beta has sex used as the perfect conditioning tool against him. Unwanted behaviours result in withheld sex. But if you are at her command, she may come to give you some 2/10 average sex maybe once a month. Like Pavlov's dog you are a slave to the master, conditioned by reward.

The only way to break this is to raise the value of your sex. If you fuck like a god. If you look like a beast. If you are always receiving outside interest form other women. Then even the idea of her "refusing" sex is comedic at best. Even the most ruthless cold power hungry psycho bitch will struggle to keep a straight face telling you , "no sex tonight" when you both know you can fuck her brains out making her pop like the 4th of July.

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im trying to apply this maxim "sex is the minimum" to friends with benefits, non exclusive, or short term relationships. Should men make this a condition of hang outs?.... for LTR or marriage i admit this is golden wisdom

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Raising your worth (ie outside competition, seduction, hot body) so its silly for you to be refused sex... is good advice.

[–]ThaneWestbrook 55 points56 points  (18 children)

L m f a o

Yeah, this happened.

[–]Ecclesia_Andune 29 points30 points  (10 children)

i was waiting for him to backflip into his lamborghini and go to his job as defender of the earthrealm afterwards tbh

[–]RedEyesBlueShades 6 points7 points  (9 children)

Bunch of spineless betas.

This EASILY happened, I did something very, very similar. More than once. And it always ends along the lines of what OP described.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (6 children)

What is so sci-fi in this post that people can't believe?

Girl behaves bad and gets punished. Sex is power. Learn how to use it , lads.

[–]verify_account 9 points9 points [recovered]

What is so unbelievable about this story? I'm no Chad Thundercock but I've turned down sex after a LTR pissed me off. How thirsty are you?

[–]Hanjobsolo1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Feel the wet pussy on my leg". Morning wood taken care of for hours, breakfast in bed, house clean, baseball tickets? Get real dude. Even a LTR wouldn't do half of those things.

[–]ben0wn4g3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why not? I've done similar. Denying sex short term guarantees sex long term.

[–]Kriskobg 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I just can't help but picture a neckbeard writing his post

[–]cashmoney_x 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Humans are just organic robots running scripts. Once you figure it out it's so easy to see and predict. Yet we all think we have free will.


[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soooo true... and we point to our perceptions of 'normal' for confidence in these scripts

[–]Banned_For_Opinion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of my plates told me yesterday "we're having sex three times tonight because I'm horny and I haven't seen you in forever." I laughed and made a sarcastic comment on how she's "making" me do shit. I told her I was tired and I didn't fuck her at all, basically because I didn't want to, I know for shame that a MAN doesn't want to have SEX at the drop of a hat. You could tell it was affecting her, kinda funny how that works.... I fucked her in the morning and went to work.

[–]Jakei34 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I calmly poured myself some water and told her that I was tired and would be going to bed

Yeah, I'll be using that when I'm older.

[–]_real_rear_wheel 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Reading these is like reading fan fiction.

[–]Hanjobsolo1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably because it is fiction.

[–]whyalwaysm3 65 points66 points  (16 children)

Lol what the fuck. You sound like you got some issues buddy. The girl from what I can tell simply likes you and wanted something more. You could've simply told her "look I'm not looking to date right now" and your point would've came across. But instead you created this drama for literally nothing considering you ended up fucking her anyway so if that's what she wanted, she ended up getting it anyway lmao.

Anyways thanks for the comedy. This story is either extremely exxagerated or completely made up and I'd bet my savings on that.

[–]Whitified 21 points22 points  (3 children)


Plate: Exclusive please?

OP: No

Plate: Pretty please?

OP: [email protected]#$% SIDSDHINF WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX TONIGHT!!!!! Oh but your pussys wet and you're in my bed.... dayum.

If anything, OP is the one weaponizing sex to get what he wants (lay down some ground rules)

EDIT: This isn't red pill. Its manipulation 101

[–]Hanjobsolo1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Extremely exaggerated or made up. That's 90% of the stories on here. I lost it when he said he could feel her wet pussy on his leg and then all the shit she did for him that morning. All bullshit.

[–]kgbmoney 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The story might be made up, but the point still stands. Good post, despite that odd bit of human interaction

[–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 4 points5 points  (0 children)

despite that odd bit of human interaction

glad I wasn't the only one that thought that

[–]makeshift98 10 points11 points  (5 children)

You could've simply told her "look I'm not looking to date right now"

She knows the boundaries, and she knows how I operate with women.

But instead you created this drama for literally nothing considering you ended up fucking her anyway so if that's what she wanted, she ended up getting it anyway lmao.

He's in a non exclusive relationship with someone who is trying to push for commitment and your conclusion is that she really only wants sex from someone she is already sleeping with? What's it like being fucking retarded?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Here's where I disconnect:

I can totally refuse sex, aka not give a fuck; literally.

However, I usually just say I'm not in the mood or just tired or whatever, I don't feel like saying "you killed my mood".

Is it equally effective? Or do I have to mention she is the one responsible for my behavior towards her?

(I always assume she connects the dots and figures it out and saying less is good, right?)

[–]TheRedStoic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Misread instructions. Pussy on leg led to dick in pussy"

Seriously though, well done. This is one of the ultimate tools of women flipped very efficiently and effectively. Every guy should learn when to deny, if for no other reason then to set a standard of uncertainty. (Dread)

I also believe it shouldn't be random. It should be directly tied to poor behavior. Sex isn't used to balance a scale, it is the scale. In other words, you can't fuck out an apology, fucking is the minimum bid to play, and obedience/respect is the way to stay around.

Pushing limits like that is certainly in her nature, she probably didn't even realize what she was doing until it backfired - that being said, ignorance is no absence of guilt.

[–]allnamesfckintaken 40 points41 points  (6 children)

after being on redpill for a long time now, i'm starting to read these posts as op just jerking off his dick. that's it. none of that fucking shit is redpill or useful. it's just op acting like he's the shit. plating my fucking ass. 99% of all the guys who post on redpill can't plate shit. stop acting like it's normal or that most guys can do it. in order to plate anyone, you would have to offer them incredible sex and be very attractive. women need to get something from you if you're not giving them resources or emotional support. how many of you who have alpha male qualities, look good and have status are on redpill? give me a fucking break. you guys need to wake up and stop dreaming. that pua shit helps you get laid but it sure as fuck won't turn you into a player plating bitches left and right.

i'll bet anything op is making this shit up.

[–]mewtwokillsarceus 11 points11 points [recovered]

Don't take the redpill, it's fine. Only thing is, as you age, you'll realize it's full of truths and regret not taking it earlier. Yes, people might exaggerate their success but this shit actually works and I'm grateful that I have access to this because the advice girls give you doesn't work and often makes you more unlikely to succeed. All my life I was told by girls (friends, crushes, family members) to be myself, to be a sweet guy and the right girl would come along. Even if by some stroke of luck (the girl misjudges you), the right girl came along (mutual interest), if I was the same sweet guy, it would drive her away (being beta) and I just couldn't understand it until I took the redpill.

The only girls that take an interest in you if you're a sweet guy (beta)

  1. Are women who want a beta (money, emotional tampon) after realizing alphas won't commit to her after being his or their fuckbuddy (cock carousel).

She'll never respect you as she knows she's had better and she will never truly love you beyond making kids or for emotional support (hamster) (she most likely won't do all the sex stuff she did with the other guys) because she only needs you for resources. If you make the stupid mistake of marrying her, she'll tell herself that she loves you for as long as she needs you and then she'll dump you and take half your stuff (she might even cheat on you during the marriage) and won't get remarried unless her new bf has better prospects than you because she wants you to slave as she takes the fruit of your labor (hypergamy). Oh and she'll have a new bf irrespective even if he is poorer because he'll provide things that you could never provide (often desirable sex i.e. tingles), this way she gets your money(if you don't move on, she will also have you as an emotional tampon if her new bf isn't listening to her feelings)and his sex. If you get too pushy, while she was pretending like she cared about you as little as a day ago to use you as an emotional tampon, she'll ignore you or tell you to leave her alone as she cuts off all ties with you.

  1. Women who you can be an alpha for. I.e. the uglies who true alphas wouldn't even consider. These women will be loyal to you till they get the slightest hint of interest from a higher smv male.

  2. There supposedly are rare women (I haven't come across them) who don't show this behavior but I'm told these women tend to be mentally ill and while it might be bliss for a while, it'll turn into a shitstorm with you being falsely accused left, right and centre.

You might look at this as me being bitter, but I'm not. I've accepted that that is their nature. Men and women are different, the redpill helps us understand that difference. It's up to you to choose what kind of life you want to live.

Edit: I'm just out of college, nowhere near marriage. I've seen the shit women pull. i.e.women going for alphas according to trp (usually douchebags in normal speak), and I've also been constantly hit on by women AFTER they're tired of the cc. Please note they were getting their alpha dicks on the side while the were hitting on me. Thank god even my bluepill self didn't fall for it. I almost did fall for it as my oneitis was showing me interest because I was lifting and becoming social while being bluepill but I even fucked that up by being even more beta (in this case I was fortunate to be beta).

[–]toopow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This entire subreddit is for bitter losers. Most women are shitty. most men are shitty. Doesn't mean they are incapable of love as a gender.

e seen the shit women pull. i.e.women going for alphas according to trp (usually douchebags in normal speak), and I've also been constantly hit on by women AFTER they're tired of the cc. Please note they were getting their alpha dicks on the side while the were hitting on me.

Why is it ok for men to sleep around and not women? You act like its an absolutely despicable act for a woman to have sex, while being obsessed with finding ways to get women to sleep with you.

[–]1StoicCrane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting array of shit test deflectors. Agree and Ampliy, Pressure flip. It's excellent to see examples of these in play.

[–]51pctAttack 3 points3 points [recovered]

thank you for providing a useful and insightful post. we need more like this with fundamentals. If every man enforced boundaries like this the world would be a better place.

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I swear anytime men (or women) come across prudish women, they should call them out for it. Ive had alot of women in my life that were willing to make men out to be dogs and vile just for expressing interest in sex. If unchallenged, this creates a culture that produces the 'nice guy' which feels ashamed of what they want and unwilling to control it, while women wallow in always feeling wanted by men sexually, they feel the need to tack on conditions to it. They then take sex for granted and its ruthless and hypocritical. Any time a woman speaks out and frames a guy as ugly for wanting sex, they should be challenged, reminded of this hypocrisy, cause deep down they are motivated by their worshipping of the dick, its just that society never teaches them this

[–]RICCIedm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You didn't randomly refuse her sex. You showed your unnapreciation for her bad behaviour.

Still a great move, something most of us (me including) had never thought about.


[–]Fizzdar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love everything about this post.

[–]P4_Brotagonist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the things I found I was actually doing even while almost totally BP. It would turn me off how a girlfriend in an LTR would turn me down for sex and it be fine, but then if I would turn her down, I was expected to coddle her as she literally cried and played the "you don't find me attractive enough what did I do wrong I don't understand" for 3 hours. I eventually got to the point where I would pretty much literally say "Who gives a shit I get turned down constantly. Grow up."

I should have realized that I should have been saying something else, because what I said would usually make the sex weird for the next few weeks.

[–]CTLS83 4 points4 points [recovered]

99.9% of "field reports" posted around here are angsty, "look how alpha I am" cringe fests....

This one, though, this one was gooooooooooooooood.


[–]Hanjobsolo1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, this one was pretty much like the rest of them.

[–]thop89 32 points33 points  (6 children)


Just say Yes or No to a LTR, instead "deflecting shit tests" like an autist.

It's just a girl. A child. You don't need your little war strategies.

[–]MrTooTall 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yup. OP sounds like the girl in this dynamic. Playing passive aggressive games

[–]SoleSoulSeoul 22 points23 points  (1 child)

What a barrage of buzzwords. I bet you call people cucks, too.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, let her make war while we follow your advice and surrender. Love the shaming language. What happens when one side makes war and the other side says "Ohh I don't want to be childish. I will do what she says."

Answer: See Western civilization.

[–]RedEyesBlueShades 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's just a girl. A child. You don't need your little war strategies.

Oh but you do. It's about setting boundaries and enforcing them. Which is basically what having a spine is all about.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's just a girl. A child. You don't need your little war strategies.

Some of us switched hacking Linux kernels to hacking their own lives to hacking relationships. TL;DR: FU & GTFO.

[–]RedPillHanSolo 6 points7 points  (3 children)

First of all, OP, thank you for FR.

Once again, this thread shows how lots of guys on TRP have little to no control over their urges, which they try to hamster away with "yeah, that happened, lol" and "it reads like science fiction". The saddest part is that this type of posts gets upvoted by likeminded little bitches. Makes me sick.

[–]verify_account 3 points3 points [recovered]

Noticing the same thing. Christ it's a little sad. So many angry blue pillers upset that OP turned down sex.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was mean in not letting her manipulate him. Outrageous even.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

[–]Black-Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, the Ministry of Prince .... say Hallelujah brother

[–]1PantsonFire1234 3 points4 points  (4 children)

She's still gonna try to manipulate OP for a relationship. She's going all out buying baseball tickets and claiming to OP it ain't a date. But in her mind it very well is. Every meet up is a date to her. She will push and push until she breaks.

Then she will find some beta hubby who commits and cheat on him with OP. If OP makes the mistake to commit then she will cheat on him with some guy who didn't commit.

Women are always looking to get more commitment from a man- if not from other men. When a guy has no more commitment to give, he's been milked dry and discarded.

[–]HandsomeCub 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Interesting... so the idea is to move very slowly in commitment? Seeing commitment as a limited resource, and value in giving small chunks of it to maintain interest in winning you over. Its sounds like the most fair thing to yourself, rather than being ready for marriage a couple weeks after you date, or living together for that matter. The question is 'is there anything after marriage?' Or are you doomed once this happens?

[–]1PantsonFire1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's why allot of relationships die after marriage, there's no more commitment to fish. Marriage is the endgame- and it's fucking boring for women.

Look at it like this. On one end you have marriage and at the other you have plating. Plating loads of fun, everyone knows that. Marriage fucking sucks and everyone knows that too.

So what this tells us is that women respond and behave better when commitment is trickled down instead of given. Sometimes even taken away slightly. So go as slow as you can with a girl.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is always married red pill and it's feeder sub- deadbedrooms.

[–]HandsomeCub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe kids as the next 'commitment' ?

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How do I do this if:

my girl is always down to fuck, but she is afraid to ask me.

[–]chances_are_ur_a_fag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe fuck her every day for two weeks and then stop for a couple days and see if she says anything

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

"That'll show her!"

Women don't take rejection well, this isn't something I'd recommend. I'd give it more weight when you do it more than once.

[–]2Bait4Me 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This sub is in a weird place atm.

How would you have handled ?

"Wouldn't it be great to have nights like this more often? It's so nice to actually go out and enjoy each other's company"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I wouldn't, but it's easy to say from an armchair after the fact. You can pretty clearly see the lady pushing for exclusivity, and rollo has a nice article on that from this month.

I assume she is speaking from emotions, enjoyed her time, and wanted more. Tell her that would be nice, kiss her on the forehead, and carry on as per normal. OP has showed her that he's not going to have more ATM, telling her directly never really works... Clearly she just took it as a challenge to please hum until he buckles. Afterwards, if the carrot doesn't work, she will probably try the stick, and getting angry to shame him into it.

It's not wrong, it's just not what I would recommend. Just because she wanted comfort, doesn't mean you have to promote her from plate, for all we know, she has a tinder date the next day. She just wanted emotional validation.

Summing up: Yeah, it probably would be. Hug her, kiss on the forehead, sex per normal, change nothing. Avoids escalation, weaponization, and worst case scenario, you can always just stop taking her calls, you don't have to draw a line in the sand to do it.

[–]2Bait4Me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The article is called "The Talk"

This a softer approach to TRP theories, but both have the same out come.

How would you handle if the next time you see she her she is overt about it and asks directly with something like "I was thinking about what we said the other night, and i feel we should become GF/BF or LTR, exclusive, etc".

Would this call for the same sort or response or would you go more open direct with your actual response ?

[–]smfc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you just shot the hamster between it's eyes. good job.

[–]michael_wilkins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Sex God Method changed my life. Not just my sex life but my entire out look on life. If you haven't read it yet, do so immediately.

If you can't afford a copy or can't find a torrent, pm me and I'll hook you up with it somehow.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]toneroma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PSA: Only do this with women who are both A) Self-Confident and B) Someone you are legit willing to lose.

People love to throw around AWALT around here, but dread can backfire very easily.

[–]casemodsalt 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I didn't read anything but if you want your girl to get it somewhere else, deny her randomly like op suggests.

[–]BluestBlackBalls 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Plate not his girl. Learn to read.

[–]Kryton112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wtf is this absolute bullshit? is this like Nosleep where we all have to pretend this is real?

[–]thawayred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hardcore challenge: send topic to her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm, refusing sex from a woman is insane dread

[–]PillyQ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you respond to her message the next day?

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