Red Pill TheoryEmbrace rejection. They're just women. (self.TheRedPill)
submitted 3 years ago by TRP VanguardArchwinger
Guys get rejected by women. All the time. Even really cool, really masculine, super-duper-alpha-manly-men get rejected sometimes. Rejection is no big deal.
But a lot of guys are paralyzed by the fear of rejection. The fear of embarrassment. If a woman blows you off or turns you down, that’s embarrassing and means you’re not good enough, right? Actually, not always. But even if it did, so what? They’re just women.
When you walk up to a girl and she’s a rude little cunty bitch and blows you off, you feel hurt. Embarrassed. Angry. You might even want to give this bitch a piece of your mind. She didn’t even give you a chance. She didn’t even give you the common courtesy of exchanging a few polite words. She didn’t treat you like a human.
The fact is, this bitch did you a favor. She wasn’t going to fuck you. She didn’t want to. She wasn’t interested. It doesn’t matter why. Maybe she thought you were ugly, maybe she has a boyfriend or husband, maybe she’s a super-ultra-mega-lesbian, or maybe she has a raunchy cunt and is waiting to finish her course of antibiotics. It doesn’t matter. She did you a favor. In fact, by letting you know she’s an unpleasant bitch, she saved you the headache of dealing with her. Now you’re not going to waste your time thinking you’re getting somewhere with this girl only to get turned down later. She saved you all of that energy. Be thankful for that. Embrace the rejection and move on.
However, some girls that aren’t going to fuck you won’t give you the courtesy of blowing you off immediately. Maybe she’s afraid you’re going to be a douchebag and make a big scene if she’s bitchy. It’s a legitimate concern – some loser guys do that. Maybe she enjoys the attention. Maybe she’s manipulating you for free drinks. This isn’t something to get mad about. Basking in the free attention and validation you’re handing out is just what women do. If you’re giving out attention and not getting laid, that’s on you.
Your job is to control your encounters with women. To make your intentions clear from the start. To flirt. To escalate. Touch. Keep things moving forward at a steady, comfortable pace until you get a hard no. Don’t sit around paralyzed by the fear of rejection and embarrassment, chatting with some girl like you’re one of her girlfriends. Like you just want to be her friend or something. If you make your intentions clear from the start, touch, escalate, and flirt – if your intentions are so clear that she can’t pretend not to know why you’re talking to her – she will be forced to either reject you or respond positively to your advances. Controlling these encounters is up to you. If you sit around chatting and not making moves, hoping she’ll give you a signal, you’re letting her be the man, which is about as sexy as a yeast infection.
Time and time again, we see questions from Red Pill guys that go something like, “Here’s what I said and did with this chick at a bar, but at the end, she flaked! What did I do wrong?” And a bunch of idiots go through his conversation and try to pick out the one or two lines of speech where he blew it. Like this girl was some kind of puzzle he could have solved if only he’d said and done the right things.
While some guys do blow it, in most cases, what a guy does wrong is far simpler: He didn’t force her to either reject him or respond positively, early in the interaction. He didn’t escalate in a clear manner that could not possibly be ignored. He didn’t control the encounter.
Some women just aren’t fuckable. At least not by you and not tonight. There’s nothing you’re going to be able to say or do that’s going to magically unlock her panties and get you in bed with her. You didn’t say or do anything “wrong” at the bar. She wasn’t going to fuck you, no matter what. Your mistake wasn’t what you said during your conversation. It was your failure to figure out whether this girl was fuckable at all, early in the encounter, before investing half your night paying attention to her. It was your failure to embrace the possibility of rejection and be thankful for it. To escalate and risk that rejection.
Even the most super-hot, manly, badass dudes get rejected sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Sure, sometimes it’s entirely your fault. You’re not hot, you’re not dressed well, you’re socially awkward or acting funny or your game sucks ass. You have a lot of work to do. That’s fine. Own that. But recognize that tonight, at this time, that particular girl was not fuckable by you. No matter what you say or do. She might go home with somebody better. That shit happens. But your job isn’t to fuck every girl every time. It’s to control these encounters. To figure out, early on, whether a girl is fuckable, and not waste your time with the ones that aren’t.
Rejection happens. Don’t go home and seal yourself off in “monk mode” for ten years as you bench press and read pick-up literature, or get on line and start posting rants for 8 hours a day about how none of this shit works unless you’re naturally seven feet tall with a perfectly symmetrical face. Just do a better job of controlling your encounters and getting to that rejection sooner, so you make better use of your time and energy. Because some girls are fuckable, tonight, by you, right now. You just have to embrace the possibility of rejection, and be thankful for the girls that refrain from wasting your time by rejecting you, so you can move on and maximize your return.
Remember, they’re just women. And women are for fucking. One of many hobbies you enjoy. Quit taking them so seriously. Just try to fuck one, and if it doesn’t work, go try to fuck another. Repeat as needed. Never let yourself get hung up on this one girl you thought you were maybe going to fuck. Just embrace the rejection and move on.
Obviously, still learn from your mistakes when you make them and they cause you get rejected. But don’t make the biggest mistake of all by trying to avoid the risk of rejection entirely. It’s just a woman. It’s not even a real risk. You’re not jumping out of a plane or putting all of your money into cryptocurrency. It’s just a dumb slut that might giggle at you. Does being judged by a woman really keep you up at night?
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[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 70 points71 points72 points 3 years ago (17 children)
Some women are put off by overt sexual intention before they feel attracted.... and other times the feeling of "I can have him whenever I like" can trigger her hypergamous "I can do better" response.
Yes you should "escalate to find out" and yes you should be unafraid to show intent. But sometimes it's better to tease and be disinterested and IDGAF than balls-out "fuck me or fuck off". Overt sexual intent isn't always optimum.
[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 49 points50 points51 points 3 years ago (2 children)
The key is to escalate at a steady, comfortable pace. If you ignore a girl half the night and don't escalate, you lose. But as you've noted, if you come on to a girl like a freight train, that can be just as bad.
[–]slay_it_forward -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child)
You say don't wait for IOIs, but if you escalate without any, chances are she'll reject your advances. She's not attracted yet.
My plan of attack is to show value in the beginning (teasing, challenging, story-telling, playful), the escalate with she fires off an IOI or two. Start off very slow. Escalation doesn't mean grabbing her jugs and driving your tongue down her throat. I simple touch on the hand or small of her back will do. Then back off. Then go a little further, caress her hands.
If she doesn't give any IOIs after an hour I go for a little kino anyway to confirm the lack of interest. You don't know for sure until you try. Some girls are shy.
[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Shy girls are more prone to give subtle IOIs than the average girl. They would simply not be as aggressive or overt. If a guy isn't getting stared down by a girl, having her mirror his actions, or having her try to get closer to him, then she isn't interested.
The shyest girls I've ever met still couldn't contain their tingles for a guy. The only difference is that they were flaunting themselves all over him.
A guy can try kino as a last resort, but the girl will just reciprocate to be polite if she isn't attracted.
[–]the_steroider 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (0 children)
What is this?
What is this?
[–]enjoytheloss2 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I agree that women have this trigger.
I just don't care about it, it wastes too much of my time to employ game vs just fucking off.
[–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (7 children)
Yup. Just lost one by being overtly sexual. One of the hottest I've ever met. Things were going well, texting for a couple weeks and then I said, why don't you just call me, we can talk in person and use our actual voices, unless you're a pussy. And she texted back, I'm not a pussy! And then my phone rang (works every time). We talked for 2 hours. She was definitely into me but had a boyfriend and was saying she just wanted to be friends, but we both knew that was her hamster, at least I did. Actually, if I look back at our text, it was obvious I was pursuing her and she was interested, weighing her options so to speak. The next day we were texting again and I sexted her and then she pulled away. Said she realized men and women can't be friends (duh) and she felt like she wasn't being loyal to her boyfriend by talking to me. I removed plausible deniability, in a text. Stupid move. If I had been more patient and waited until we hung out I'm sure I would have been in there. Oh well, gotta work on my game.
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (6 children)
I removed plausible deniability, in a text. Stupid move.
I removed plausible deniability, in a text. Stupid move.
Yeah... sex should be subcommunicated, especially by text for this reason.
If I had been more patient and waited until we hung out
If I had been more patient and waited until we hung out
Talking to her for two hours wasn't great either... should have been faster to the meet.
[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (5 children)
I was helping her with an existential crisis. This wasn't a normal situation, I've left out many details, and she's probably the hottest girl you've ever seen as well. And she's sweet, genuine, a real southern lady with a hippie twist. I know, I know, pedestal, unicorn and all that... I don't think I've completely blown it. Just gonna wait a little while, write a funny song about the incident and send her a video in a week or so of me singing and playing. I'm exceptionally handsome, talented and jacked. Usually get what I want. I'm not looking for love anymore, that was my problem before. But I really want this girl and won't give up until it's obvious I can't have her, or I do have her and get tired and move on.
[–]el_Technico 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children)
You're trying way to hard with this girl. Instead of writing a stupid song. Call her up, tease her for not being fun. When she says she is fun tell her to prove it this weekend with you by going somewhere fun. The whole conversation should take about 5 minutes.
[–]fingerthemoon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (2 children)
Yeah, I am trying too hard and that's probably my main problem, but she's top level and it's hard to just give up. I'm not sure she would answer my call. It wouldn't be hard for me to write a silly song, record it on ukulele with my phone and send it. Make fun of us both in the song. I was thinking this way she could see what she's missing, get a good visual of me and my musical talent, which is my strong point. If I call or text it's just me trying too hard again and she might not respond. With a video I think It'd be more likely for me to reel her back in. And ballsy, I mean, who has enough courage to send a video of a custom written and performed song? It would definitely set me apart from the 1,000 other guys who approach her every day.
Initially I was sending short to the point texts telling her to come meet me somewhere and she wasn't responding. It was after she didn't respond for a week that I sent a picture of myself and a longer text explaining to her how awesome I was and what she was missing in a verbose and humorously exaggerating way, then I got a response. So, I started sending longer text and she was replying with equally long text until I got her to call me. Normal game wasn't working and when I showed more depth she showed more interest.
Honestly, the fact that she's not easy makes me want her more. I'm probably just a performing monkey that's simply entertaining and validating her. She's trying to friend-zone me, I'm aware of this. But if I can play along, tone down my aggressiveness and get her to hang out with me, I'm sure I can escalate in person.
The funny song I've been thinking of is about a new-age sensitive guy who is trying to get a girl by showing off how spiritually enlightened he is, and it's working up until he decides to send a dick pic. It's a joke off our interaction because it was my zen talk that she was interested in and eating up but when I made the sexual comment she backed off. It makes fun of the situation and puts it in perspective by comparing my comment to a guy who sends dick pics. And I could play the whole thing off as like, thanks for the inspiration to write this song, just thought I'd share it with you. If she never responds at least I got a song out of it.
[–]el_Technico 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child)
You write a song for her and you dry that pussy up. You're putting way to much effort in, and you've probably done to much damage at this point to salvage anything. If you're trying harder than she is you're playing the game wrong. Call her. If she doesn't answer next her, and move onto someone else.
[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks. It's always been hard for me to walk away. I keep thinking I can fix it somehow. Makes me a good mechanic but has never worked with women.
[+][deleted] comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points 3 years ago (2 children)
the fun is often in the chase no?
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Depends if you prefer chasing or fucking.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children)
A bit of chasing is good fun. If you're a hunter, that's the most important skill. You chase, then go in for the kill, then you do the skinning, cooking and eating. Without the chase you're basically shagging battery chickens.
[–]rayyaal 225 points226 points227 points 3 years ago (21 children)
THE REGRET OF NOT APPROACHING FEELS 100% WORSE. CAN CONFIRM.
[–]afkb39sdfb 40 points41 points42 points 3 years ago (1 child)
It is better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all
Goes for most things in life
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Exceptions, for reference: skydiving, tightrope, piloting, birthday parties, suicide.