Field Report2 Years of RP: Lessons Learned (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1AFCdood

Today is my 2nd cake day. I didn't notice until I logged in and posted for the first time in a few months. I looked back on my posts and realized how far I've come and thought I should share with you all.

There is a lot of misinformation on this sub. A lot of (justifiable) anger. Our generation truly got fucked in the male-female relations aspect of life. I think that anger has clouded reality to a point where many people think that becoming an emotionless robot working towards perfection is the way to remedy their problems. I am here to say that is not the case.

Here are the things I have found to be truly the most important things to take away from this sub...

The Do's:

  1. Lift. Just do it. Stop making excuses. If you need to gain weight eat more, if you're fat eat less. This is the easiest part to understand. If you take nothing else from this place, at least lift.

  2. Better yourself. Realize that you have fundamental problems if you have ended up here and that the way to fix those is to take a step back and realistically analyze where you struggle socially. The game is not over when you get your first one night stand, first HB7, first whatever. It is a continuous process, and the sooner you lose your ego the faster you will progress.

  3. Respect your bros. When I first got here I thought "holding frame" at all times meant never being willing to apologize or back down from a petty argument. Those are easy ways to piss guys off and they make you less fun to be around. Focus on finding common ground rather than defending your differences. Bros are key to a happy life and all the things that come with it so do not risk losing them because you are unwilling to accept differences and move on.

  4. Focus on building genuine relationships. It is possible to be a nice, happy person who is also willing to set boundaries and follow your own ambitions. The guys who I've met who have been most successful with women have been legitimately good people who were able to tease/flirt girls in a lighthearted manner and were not afraid to escalate. You do not need to and should not strive to be a prick to be "redpill".

The Do Nots:

  1. Do not listen to the bullshit on here about texting. That was one of my biggest issues with this sub, the advice about text interactions was so bad it will consistently lose you girls. 1-2 word texts about logistics when you've first met a girl will never work. It's just bad game. Don't blabber on with mindless conversations but be fun, make a joke about a shared experience, do something to continue building rapport while working towards the goal of another shared experience.

  2. Do not be a dick for the sake of being a dick. Teasing girls should be light-hearted and fun. If you actually offend them you are not gonna get laid. You are not gonna hang out with them again and have a chance to meet their friends. I think most guys on here err on the side of too offensive after realizing they've been a "nice guy" their whole life, but going straight for the jugular is a surefire way to lose girls and cause problems.

  3. Do not be too quick on the trigger finger. Much of the advice on here says things like "if she doesn't respond once it's a hard next bro". This is crazy. The most successful men I've seen have also been some of the most persistent. So a chick blew them off and went out with her friends for a night. No big deal, she might want to come out next time. A chick pulled away when you went in for the kiss too early. Whatever. If she stays with you and doesn't seem creeped out she will probably soften up to the next try in 10 minutes.

Of course, don't go crazy here. If it's a consistent pattern of ignoring you or shooting you down the effort is better placed elsewhere, but don't get discouraged if things don't go 100% your way 100% of the time. Girls are people with lives too (sometimes).

Anyways, that's all I have for now. It's gotten late. I know some of this differs from the classic "stoic, emotionless, alpha male" picture that's painted here all the time but it's what I've experienced as the truth.

[–]michael_wilkins 140 points141 points  (5 children)

Respect your bros. When I first got here I thought "holding frame" at all times meant never being willing to apologize or back down from a petty argument

There's nothing more annoying then interacting with a dude that takes every conversation literally as a competition. Especially if you have to work with them.

Just fucking chill Matt.

[–]MensaNominee 10 points11 points  (2 children)

My friend who does this is also named Matt.

[–][deleted] 231 points232 points  (12 children)

Yay! Another RP that thinks for himself.😊

[–]Crimson_Cleric 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Exactly. This path is about skepticism and ownership of your thoughts and actions. Never put your life on autopilot, not even with TRP principles.

[–]chedder 56 points57 points  (9 children)

Another thing redpillers... Stahp with the ridiculous acronyms and buzz words, you sound like a bunch of feminist bitches.

[–]sigma272 93 points94 points  (3 children)

You're just mad cause you're not getting IOI's from that HB8 that you want to LTR /s

[–]GarlicSaucePunch 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Make sure you initiate a DHV Spike before you get that #close.

[–]PM_Your_8008s 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Coming from someone that just said stahp? How do you have 40 upvotes?

[–]1StoicCrane 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alot of BPers and disguise lurk in unsuspecting corners. It's easier to ignore it.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 74 points75 points  (9 children)

Mostly agree with you except for this:

Do not be too quick on the trigger finger.

Girls these days are on their phones 24/7. Do you think she didn't see your message after 24 hours? Maybe you shouldn't next her right away, but you should be thinking about it.

[–]blablaorka 33 points33 points [recovered]

Exactly. You can bet your ass she's texting other guys, her friends, everyone. However, sometimes you're just in the right mental state to respond to some things, so you wait until you're there. There is nothing a guy can do about that.

[–]CokedUpJones 30 points31 points  (4 children)

The point is, who gives a fuck what she does. In fact, that's the general rule for this post and this sub. Focus on your own shit.

You can bet your ass she's texting other guys

When we drift from expecting the inevitable of her, into actually worrying about what she's doing it's counter productive. In the same way that dogs can smell fear, women can sense if you've spent hours waiting for a text. You give off that desperate aura. Let it go.

If she chooses to text you back 2 days later, OK... so what. Once you hump her you're not going to marry her. Focus on yourself.

By even acknowledging her text response times you're giving her too much power (in your own head), not focusing on your own shit, and probably not talking to enough girls.

[–]ovonbom 9 points10 points  (1 child)

The point is, who gives a fuck what she does. In fact, that's the general rule for this post and this sub. Focus on your own shit.

This. Too many people on this forum come off as trying too hard. Can't imagine they're any less try-hard in real life. Maybe an easy thing for me to write on a forum, but people should stop overthinking. When someone starts working on themselves and their self-confidence the rest just follows.

[–]CQC3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is sort of cringey once you see it, but you have to understand that these are people who thought to look online to solve their problems, it attracts a certain kind of methodical crowd in many cases. When you have no intuition or inner sense on how to behave, you have to take words at face value with no understanding of nuance.

When you become more experienced, is when you start to organically act and think, the knowledge is internalized. This isn't unusual really, quite natural.

[–]1StoicCrane 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not only this but a male should value his time. Although hard nexting her may seem extreme if a girl fails to respond in a timely fashion it's a red flag and potential display of low/disinterest.

The most valuable currency in life is time. If some random chick fails to respect yours it's better to next and pull someone who will.

Edit: Fixed Typos.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point. Why waste your time on women who don't properly value your time?

[–]metallica11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not about "you must ONLY text 2 minutes after her last text, and respond with at least HALF the words". It's more about the lack of abundance that she may sense in you. If you are focused on your mission, HOLD that frame, and DO NOT be affected by flakey/missed/etc texts, then text whenever the fuck you want. The basic fact that you have that mental frame will come across in how you text. Some girls will still respond positively, some girls will drop, some girls will even think your texting is NEEDY and a sign that you DO NOT have a good mental frame, even if you DO, but that is the nature of the beast.

[–]Guffbrain 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Nice one. Your lessons contain the core of what TRP sexual strategy can teach without getting bogged down in rigid, constricting paradigms of behaviour.

It is possible to be a nice, happy person who is also willing to set boundaries and follow your own ambitions. . . . You do not need to and should not strive to be a prick to be "redpill"

That's one of the most stark, important lessons I've read on here for a while. Once you have ingested the knowledge, you have to get back to being content in your ilfe, as well as assertive and clear about what you want. Too many people on here with the path:

Step 1) Ingest Red Pill
Step 2) Become embittered towards women and other men because fuck them for having power too.
Step 3) Fester in ivory-tower internet superiority and circlejerking.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I unsubscribed. Too often I found myself loading up TRP to read some rant because it was entertaining. Meanwhile my social life continues to drown and women are nowhere in sight.

Learned some unforgettable lessons here and will continue to lurk. But the feeling of superiority I've felt for simply reading this forum is fading and forming into a powerful path into the future, and a bit of embarrassment for my overzealousness in the past.

[–]1mojo_juju 10 points11 points  (1 child)

The TLDR of this post is:

Everything in moderation

[–]xray777 75 points75 points [recovered]

Good thoughts.

  1. Agree. If you're a skinny fuck, its better to put on 30lbs of fat than stay lean. Girls generally don't like stringbean guys....they are more likely to overlook pudgy than a stick figure. My physical looks doubled when I went from 125lb just after college to 175lbs after four years at a desk job. Is it mostly fat that I'm now trying to convert to muscle with actual hard work? Yes. Do I look better than I did at 125? FUCKING YEAH. I honestly don't know how some people in my labor-intensive field took me seriously.

  2. Agree. Practice game.....but honestly newbies? You need to become a better man. If you're here because there's no pussy in your life, you need to become a better man. You need better social status, more money, a better job, to be smarter and more informed, and to be stronger/bigger. You've got alot of work to do......and it ain't gonna do its self.

  3. Agree. Men are totally different from women. Had two big conversations with colleagues in just the last week about this. One conversation was about how men just get past things and move on. You pissed me off? We fixed and we're cool. You have some minor flaw that continually annoys me but its not a big deal? I can get over it. Women are not like that. Second conversation was about how all the affirmative action women hires has completely fucked up entire departments in our organization. Women who do nothing all day and develop personal grudges that lead them to simply not do their job for certain people. But pussypass.

  4. Agree. Guys, you cannot climb the social ladder with women. You can only climb it with men. A critical part of preselection that always gets ignored is your preselection with men. Women notice this. Start by building relationships with high status men.


  1. Agree. Texting is part of the package. Women text each other all day, and you can too. Texting makes being a loveable jerkboy super easy. You can invade a girl's day any time, any where, with some more of that jerkboy game. They. Love. It.

  2. Agree completely. Most of the women you meet aren't going to respond to "shock and awe" Game like the semi-drunk jaded club sluts sometimes respond to. The alpha jerkboy is not the complete asshole. That being said, its better to be an asshole than to be boring. The worst opinion a woman can have about you is to not have an opinion about you. If a woman is mad at you......you still have an in.

  3. There's YHUGE difference between neediness and oneitis and desire. One of the masters-level qualities you can add to your attraction arsenal is the use of desire. Women don't want to be needed, but they love to be desired. Persistence in pursuit of an individual pussy can be super sexy if you are high value and show desire. You don't need her....but you want her. This is serious panty-soaking business if your ducks are in a row.

[–]jzekyllandhyde 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How do you 1 and 3 from your don'ts effectively?

[–]SexTransformer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

how does one become smarter and more informed? can you give me an example?

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Most of the pickup advice here is garbage, agree completely about texting etc.

[–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Texting rules are for newbies, and we all know plenty of guys who need it. Just another set of training wheels for men who have not yet learned to ride the bicycle of masculinity intuitively.

[–]Hakametal 23 points24 points  (8 children)

Texting is a grey area imo. Everything depends on her level of attraction for you to begin with.

While I agree that you need to build rapport and increase her comfort level with you, once you hit that point you need to go radio silent in between meetups. Texting should ONLY have one goal in mind, and that's setting a definite date or meetup. That's why advice in the past has always been to text less.

Lack of texting and radio silence causes a woman to start hamstering, which causes her attraction to grow... because woman are attracted to men who's feelings are unclear.

But here is the other reason why you hold back on texting: it's designed to weed out the insecure nutjobs who want to control the interaction and reveal her true character very easily. Texting, social media and online communication is a woman's game. It is their bread and butter, they have guys texting them constantly. If a woman is insecure and controlling, she'll complain and get bitchy if you have't text her in a few days even if you've set a definite date. A woman who has her shit together will be excited to see you and be wondering about you in a healthy way.

If a woman would rather have a "phoneship" rather than meeting up in person, then you are operating in her Frame. In general, Millennials have suffered big with this. We have been conditioned to communicate online and the thought of meeting up in person has become secondary.

[–]grass_cutter 4 points5 points  (6 children)

My opinion is that you don't need to 'think' about texting too much, once you are the man you want to become. If you text her, it's because you want to.

Although, I guess even I will consciously either not text, or do text, based on how long it's been.

I usually text a girl once a week if we're casual, once every two weeks if it's a bit less than that (sometimes an FB who is playing the field or something) ... and however much I want if it's a full-bore relationship.

More than once a week for casual seems too needy, less than that seems like you lost interest.

But yeah text is the primary means of communication these days other than in persn, IDK.

[–]FreeRadical5 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I don't know what world you're living in but a week means you're dead to her.

[–]Hakametal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, that is ALL relative to her level of attraction to you. While one girl might not give a shit like you said, another girl will be dying to see you.

The fundamental truth in all of this is that radio silence causes hamstering in every woman... which cause her attraction to grow.

I can tell you from experience that women who have their shit together will not react badly after a week of silence.

[–]1AFCdood[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

1 week of nothing = game over. Girl's lives move much faster than these guys really understand. They can literally fall in love and have their heart broken in a week.

[–]FreeRadical5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're fucking a girl way below your SMV, sure she'll take whatever you'll give her. But for any one even close, week long silence is a tried and tested way of getting rid of em.

[–]grass_cutter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm maybe. Haven't thought about it too much.

[–]Hakametal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're pointing out exactly why we limit texting. If you text a girl once per week even if it's casual, an insecure and controlling woman will react badly. She'll be like, "Oh I just love it when you don't text me" or some shit like that. Your indifference has revealed her true character.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fucking agree with your "The Do Nots". I live in relatively small city and already lost the count of girls I lost by improper text game and by being an asshole.

One of my top plates I ever got was by being persistent. Once I hook her up she did everything I wanted and with zero shit tests.

[–]Potatoman5556 32 points33 points  (1 child)

The real "red pill" for me is just to stop caring about women so much.

There are far higher goals in life than having sex.

[–]casemodsalt 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The text game is per case basis.

Some men are not good at text messaging and need to push a meetup

This worked for me several times.

[–]oathcunt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I know right, when I used to text for long periods I always felt it got awkward - I learnt to keep it short and precise, and of course, texting (in my opinion) is only for logistics. Hasn't failed me since.

[–]casemodsalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)


Pushing a meetup may seem pushy at first, but it really just shows them you're interested.

This is a case of "being too nice going wrong" or whatever you call it.

Use it like in person

Chat a but then "you seem cool, lets hang out"

In person "let's hang sometime"

Online: "let's meet up sometime"

[–]Fulp_Piction 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Book of Pook is a must read for anyone here. I thought it was a seduction book, but, along with providing a good social toolkit, it makes you realise that women aren't actually whats missing in life, often we use them to fill a hole.

[–]chaseemall 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Definitely. We often don't realize that we're trying to fill the wrong holes.

[–]RedMoonAscendant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use them as a hole to be filled.

[–]WildBlackGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I enjoy the genuine post like these. Once you get past all the bullshit TRP is really just about being the greatest man you can be and investing in yourself.

[–]vorverk 10 points11 points  (3 children)

About the whole "text only logistics" - this applies when the girl is already all in to you and would walk 100 miles just to see you. You'll know when this happens, because you've fucked her really good at least a few times, and you will naturally act this way with her.
You meet a girl, get phone number, you get some IOIs, maybe even a kiss, and then write later: "Saturday, my place, 8 pm, you suck my dick."- this is porn / 4chan / angry-phase fantasy. This does not happen. Unless you have a SMV of top 0.0001% chads, just forget about it. You need emotional connection. You need to make her laugh over text. You need to connect with her in some way, show some of your character, have fun etc. Be busy and respond later and with less text (2/3 rule), but you need some connection over text to make next date work.

[–]Idahno 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've been thinking a lot about all of this cause recently I've had a lot of lost interest and flaking with texting only for logistics. It seems to tense her up and arrive a little more closed up than normal

I hate texting, mainly maybe because I suck at it and haven't found a way to be funny and engaging through text. What are a couple of ways you do it??

[–]vorverk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Be short, but clever. And unpredictable. Predictability is boring. Just ask a random question sometime. Like "hey, do you think dogs know they are dogs, or do they think they are people?" Then let her babble shit, ask a few more subquestions, then just dissapear for a while. Also, girls are different. Some need more, others less. Like everything in life, no theory will get you better at it but practice.

[–]Idahno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, that helps. Will get to practicing then!

[–]allrandomworldnews 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I lost a lot of girls due to not texting enough even some I considered gf material. But fuck me texting is annoying as hell. I just could not be bothered to do it.

Then I tried calling. My experience from that? Girls fucking hate it. They don't get stuff to show their friends out of that. They can't make their friends jelly they can't even bitch about it. There is just nothing to do if they can't show around what an awesome/shitty guy you are.

Will try to text more this time around.

[–]hkool 0 points1 point  (2 children)

The major aspect of texting that sucks is that it is time consuming. It takes me sometimes 10 min to come up with a good answer. That is time I can't afford to be wasting. So yeah, I also wish texting wasn't part of the game

[–]MoneyStatusLooks 3 points3 points [recovered]

If you're sitting there thinking for 10 minutes before you message her something, you are way overthinking shit and overvaluing her.

[–]hkool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't sit there and wait for so long. I do other things, but if I didn't answer, I won't have as high focus.

I wait because it lets me find my "natural" answer, it prevents me from overvaluing her, which has been a common theme throughout my life.

[–]-The-Pussy-Whisperer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Now you're getting it gents, realistic advice

[–]Trodjinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Quality and succinct post that addresses a bunch of the flawed ideas that I see floating around RP. Do you have a specific approach to learn these things (e.g. reflect, journal, talk it out, etc)?

[–]reecewagner 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I can't like this post enough. Too often I visit this sub and read posts that are 95% conspiracy theory and chodey bravado (honestly mods, some of the sidebar material? Absolutely shocking). I'm not visiting this sub because women are bitches or because society has orchestrated life to be hard for men - I'm here because of me: my tendency to play the victim for too long, my inability to set boundaries, and my need to develop a thirst for self-improvement.

So thanks for posting this, because to me, this is what this sub is about: taking ownership of your life and moving forward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I pushed pretty hard on asktrp to understand the psychology of "spinning plates." After 21 years of LTR's, I'm looking to take things down a notch and have some fun. But, the idea of "my" woman being with another man has been limiting.....along with the threat of the same being a tool to use against me. Also, I was the White Knight from hell, trying to save women from themselves. Now I'm working on my goals and don't have the time or space to be distracted from them by other peoples problems. So I'm going to keep my dating casual, and if we're not exclusive, we're not exclusive, and about 75% of my game will be "Keep looking for Mr. Right, but if you're free Wednesday night I have some steaks thawing."

My boundary is that things must be casual, once or perhaps twice a week, pretty much don't ask/don't tell about others, but no exclusivity. I've always been scared to set that boundary and have been raked over the coals as a result....now I'm in my 40's, no kids, I don't want kids, which makes my value low for the caliber of women I want to date.....but I'm genuinely fun to be with and am a capable lover, so as long as I'm not limiting anyone's options I should get some action. But yeah.....if you look at my post history, I love women, point out their great attributes, and probably annoy people. I don't need to cut women down to make me feel better about myself. And I don't blame women for mercilessly pursuing their own interests. It's all I expect from anyone. Incidentally, everything I've read on causal dating essentially agrees with plate theory. If you don't have at least 2 in the air, it's not going to be casual for long.....and you have to have options to avoid clinging too tight.

edit: paragraph

[–]BPasFuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. You've cracked the code, and managed to calibrate proper text game.

Most guys that come on asktrp with basic questions, however, are nowhere near being ready for that, and for them, texting is a huge liability.

[–]noaydi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this post can be one of the first of a sub named "redPill redPilling"

[–]Krunjar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing with texting is its ok to have some small conversations over it once you know a girl and more importantly she knows you, but when you're looking to meet a girl (for the first time), if you beat around the bush too long, it sets off her beta detector. I usually do the minimum I can get away with: break the ice, build a little rapport, then go for the logistics. Once a girl knows you're not a total beta, you can relax a little bit (and should, unless you want to come across a bit strange).

[–]Hunter2isit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey fellow old timer. I guess you came in after that article, I am trying to recall, was it on PUA and vilified TRP causing the sub to like triple in size? Or the one where we all have auto tags in a fem sub?

What sub was that anyway that was attempting to Doxx everyone here? IDK I am proud of my angryirishman tag.

I agree with everything. My only thought is on the text game, in the end as I said I agree, the question is the path to get there. I think much of the short text game is to enforce the idea of value in our fellow broken men who are looking to piece it together. By keeping things short they break that over exposure habit and learn the correct methods.

[–]1AFCdood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the point- many of the guys here are pussies who lay all their feelings out via text. For them they obviously need to stfu. For everyone else "logistics only" texting is just a complete lack of game.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Just to add an incredibly well supported caveat to the first point. That eating more or less if you're fat isn't sustainable. If you're fay restrict carbs to less than 60 g a day. Eating fat and protein to satiation (don't hold back. It's impossible to overeat these in the absence of carbs governing insulin anyway) if you want to be even leaner restrict carbs even more.

[–]1AFCdood[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Calories in > calories out = gainz. vice versa. Get enough protein and nothing else really matters.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But higher fay levels and lower carbs for lower insulin levels to keep the calories out of the fat cells! So leaner too! Although it's nice having muscle glycogen when you're lifting weights.

[–]blackfin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think in short, all of this comes from experience -- not everything on here is fact and experience will teach you that. Good writeup.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]corsega 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Text game is real.

However, for newbies, TRP advice is usually "text for logistics only". This is because most guys try to run really cringeworthy text game and end up fucking it up.

I completely agree with what /u/AFCdood is saying, if your text game is solid, it can help you.

However if your game is bad it can hurt you. Best way to get feedback is to post examples/screenshots here. Also read Heartiste and the misc Tinder threads, and watch lots of comedy/improv.

[–]BoyWhoreWithASword 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Text game doesn't exist when you're banging off cold approach and fucking girls in real life. A lot of guys need "text game" because they rely on dating apps and online so they're communicating with women they haven't already fucked let alone seen in real life.

"Text game" is highly overrated IMO and totally unnecessary for guys who don't do online dating though maybe I'm in the minority

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The advice on this sub basically says not to actually communicate on text and save it solely for planning your next date. He's just saying you can talk and build rapport over text.

[–]Mckallidon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. Too many people in here are so dogmatic and petty when you have different experiences. I like to think of TRP as a rule of thumb but being able to play things by ear is the key to everything in life, besides not letting your thoughts be self-defeating. I like to take what works, discard what hasn't and figure my own shit out. I don't lift. I do calisthenics because I can do them anywhere and at anytime with no money. They're really efficient and I do well without running or spending much time on warmup a and cooling down. But to each their own. Plus girls don't like watching dudes bench. They do think pistol squats are cool though. Also, I liked your advice about maintaining connections and just being cool. Ego is your biggest enemy. Once again thanks for the post bro.

[–]DarkisKnight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice post. In terms of the Do Nots I disagree slightly with 1. While I agree texting too much comes off as needy and desperate, most of the guys that come here are in need of some serious reform. The less they say the less chance there is of them fucking up their chances. That said, I think the consensus is 2/3 of whatever she gives you you give her in return. If you overdo it you come off as beta. I'm not a big fan of texting so the logistics only most of the time works for me. But I came of age in an era when cell pones and texting weren't so much a thing, so I guess I probably get a pass because I'm practically an "old man" by this point.

I'm glad you pointed out 3. in the Not to do list. I agree, a lot of advice to next at the first sign of trouble. I understand where this is coming from but you're right you widen the scope of your options if you allow yourself to be persistent within reason. I think generally a lot of the newbies probably put way too much effort into interacting with a basic bitch who's not interested. Gauging the level of interest and how much to pursue is an art that can only come with experience. A lot of times feigning disinterest or blowing you off can be a shit test. Depending on how you react you may be deemed worthy of the pussy or not. If you don't persist past the first sign of trouble you won't find out if it was a shit test or genuine disinterest. I have a 3 strikes rule. It keeps me from getting too deep with any prospect and sets a realistic boundary. Unless you're Brad fuckin' Pitt you're not going to always be able to pull/close on the first try. Again, having boundaries and knowing when to quit is an art.

Cheers. Glad you posted this, some good shit here.

[–]1PantsonFire1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 Points to rectify on your post. I'm sure you will agree.

Do not listen to the bullshit on here about texting. That was one of my biggest issues with this sub, the advice about text interactions was so bad it will consistently lose you girls. 1-2 word texts about logistics when you've first met a girl will never work. It's just bad game. Don't blabber on with mindless conversations but be fun, make a joke about a shared experience, do something to continue building rapport while working towards the goal of another shared experience.

The reason why texting is so bad is not because it loses you girls. It's because you can't generate tingles through messaging. And texting wastes time/investment. What your getting at is that it's perfectly fine to engage in longer messaging with a girl that's already into you. Ideally you should have fucked her already. At this point texting is perfectly fine.

The problem is that allot of clueless guys/betas use texting to try generating tingles. They are scared of real life escalation and rejection. At this point all it can really do is hurt your possible chances of banging the girl. Hence why we say, keep texting to a minimal. Until you banged her and she's in your frame.

Do not be too quick on the trigger finger. Much of the advice on here says things like "if she doesn't respond once it's a hard next bro". This is crazy. The most successful men I've seen have also been some of the most persistent. So a chick blew them off and went out with her friends for a night. No big deal, she might want to come out next time. A chick pulled away when you went in for the kiss too early. Whatever. If she stays with you and doesn't seem creeped out she will probably soften up to the next try in 10 minutes.

Another double edged sword, see this advice is both good and bad. There are times to bounce and times to hang in. Ideally in the beginning stages you should be easy on the trigger. There are thousands of reasons a girl could flake/ditch/ignore you. Just makes sure you respect yourself and don't get needy. Remember that you mean absolutely nothing to a girl until you've fucked her.

However, once the relationship/plating starts and this girl ought to be fully invested in you. That's where I do recommend a relentless trigger finger. She should be feeling tingles at this point. Any behavior that's not congruent with this is either 1. a shit test/power play or 2. an indication she's lost it for you and is ready cheat/swing.

Either way, nexting the girl as punishment is the best course of action. And it's better used often than sparingly. Show respect for yourself and signal to her you don't take shit behavior. She will either return with a new found respect and deeper tingles. Or she'll be permanently out of your way. Crazy bitches shouldn't stay in your life.

[–]noaydi 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The thing I feel from this post is that the OP have some feeling for, or like woman. Not like all the haters on this sub. And this is great to see, this make me feel hope for my clan :p. Alpha or not, no matter, we should not give that much fuck aside if you feel you are one wich need advice to (become, stay, or become again) better version of yourself (and it's probably rare, aside perhaps after multiple fail in his life as an alpha - this can happen, life have his hazard). Being a gentleman, whatever where you come from or who you are, this is what should matter. (gentleman should not be confused with nice guy, especially fake one)

I know real alpha IRL in the team I hang out with, and I can say (even if I don't speak that much to them because I feel like we haven't much to share sadly) they aren't at all the douche many guy here are trying to be. These behavior of forced agressivity should even end with the alpha male being irritated in contact with the douche after some time. A douche at best often become a version in all possible version of gentleman.

[–]noaydi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to add that for a "gentleman", the aim is to use his aggressivity/sexual side in an almost aristocratic way. The douche, due to disatisfaction with themself, try to demonstrate aggressivity at all cost with no interest into refinement.

Ive harder time with the psycho of alpha male, in a way they "are" the aggressivity/sexuality gentleman or douche are trying to demonstrate, but they are far more able at determining this "power" into other than them comparing to the douche. Aside sick ones, they are not the psychopath everyone want to see in them for avoiding ressentment toward them. Those I know are actually good guy at core, but very aggressive, able to take the leadership (like gentleman or douche, though), manipulating multiple variable to give order at the good time (not like gentleman/douche), taking into account the "aggressive power" of other in order to attain goal (the precise thing douche and gentleman is not able with aggressive power).

Nice guy have no aggressivity/sexual side to begin with, they live in their imagination (it would be more fair to say they lack ability to express this side). Idiot one feel envious, ressentfull, trying to become something that is 1000000 light years from them, whatever the psychological disconfort it produce, and at the end fail to seduce woman wich are designed for him. Less idiot pursue often long term personnal goal, aiming toward auto satisfaction, self expression and authenticity.

[–]adidasimwearing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Old guy here: totally disagree on the wordy texts. 1–2 word texts or even an alone question mark is just fine. You're busy. You can't afford to be tapping on your phone. Less is more.

[–]AnInstant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent post, couldn't agree more! Lately i didn't read this sub because there's too many frustrated guys out there who just came here to have their revenge and insult girls, thinking they are better - no, if u can't even get laid you aren't any better.

I agree, being RedPill doesn't mean being a dick. Many people misunderstood this. Then they are even more frustrated, because well, I acted like a dick as they wrote on reddit and this girl still won't suck!

I think man should just find his mission in this world, be in good shape, and there's nothing wrong with being nice - it's just wrong when you are so nice you prioritize others people lives over yourself. I'm not easy with new people, some would just call me douche, but when I like someone I have no reason to be rude, I like to be comfortable with people. Same with girls - I don't need to be dick for them. When I like a girl I have no problems telling her. Actually I'm in LTR with one girl I really like, she loves me, I respect her and we have really good relationship. And yes, I know she can leave, it's my turn blah blah blah, but I don't care. Being redpill doesn't mean being emotionless shell, but I guess everyone have to find his way on their own, because many people here are just lost.

[–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice. To distill it even further, take what works, and leave the rest.

[–]graffix13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Texting works for me because I'm witty and a big smart ass. Just don't make fucking novels out of your texts.

Also, don't use fucking emojii's. That's faggot shit.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points [recovered]

Also add that women may pull away or 'ignore' you just to see how you'll react. Will you be a butthurt loser? Will you react indifferent and go talk to other girls? She's judging your value based on how you react to her 'rejecting' you.

[–]WholeNewAnimal 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Or, y'know, the timing was just off... Man, do you all think it's mind games?

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points [recovered]

No, but it's incredibly easy to tell if it's real or a test

[–]WholeNewAnimal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is a little paranoid. You're saying that you feel that women are constantly testing men?

[–]ecosci -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There is no safe gaurd against female nature or hypergamy, your do and dont lists are pointless because it all boils down to attraction just keep more hot options on deck.If you dont believe me leave your girl around a sloppy bummy overweight guy but with confident alpha behaviour and tell me how it worked out.

[–]poochman -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Texting less does not cause you to lose girls. It saves you from wasting time on girls you weren't going to fuck anyway and only want validation. If you need to text more to "game" her you need to work more on your in person game. If a girl really likes you, she will be blowing your phone up, not the other way around.

[–]Rougepellet -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I came to a similar conclusion too after i crossed the anger stage. Became more focused on my goals and just having fun and creating fun in social interactions. Fuck all that PUA shit, iust relax and have fun. No need to treat informal social interactions so seriously, like you're on some kind of mission impossible mission.

I'm glad i was introduced to this subreddit tho. Despite its flaws (or rather the flaws of users on here) it has helped me mature a lot the 2 years I've been here. I like to think I'm more mature than my age in that regard. Especially considering I'm not even 20 yet

[–]Lo-G -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh shut the fuck up. How did this retarded shit get upvoted on TRP? Where's the hard logic and the proof for what you're saying? You're just another disgusting concern troll trying to weaken this place.

[–]S-Blaze -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

''some guys on here err on the side of too offensive after realizing they've been a "nice guy" their whole life'' Yuup