Field ReportWhat I learned from Fucking My ONEitis. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1The_BitterTruth

Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty - I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal.

On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn't spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she'll be hard pressed to forget - but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her. It doesn't make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.

In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel - but that couldn't be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I've had a taste I know it's nothing special.

Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation - "If I can fuck this 10 than obviously I'm the perfect chad that I've always wanted to become." I was looking for acceptance through someone else's eyes, but when I finally got it - it didn't change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.

I've read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They're usually written about the girl we can't have, or the girl that's out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can't have them. Sometimes if we never see what she's like up close, we'll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we're viewing her with. She is just another girl. She's not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks - and she really doesn't bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They're wasting their time. They don't really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they've painted inside their minds.

So if you have a ONEitis you're fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she's just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections - you just haven't known her long enough for them to come out, or you're refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person - good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She's not perfect and makes dumb choices. She's just looking for her Chad - just like every other girl. "We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are."

Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective - but having plates didn't prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.

Thanks for reading and if anyone is struggling over their ONEitis right now I hope this post helps you.


[–]Arizona_Ron23 337 points338 points  (49 children)

with every perfect 10, there's a dude who sick of her..that's just a reality

[–]EtherzZero21 194 points194 points [recovered]

This is so true. My ex-wife was a damn near 10. Great sex till the end. I remember distinctly during the last ending arguments we had that she kept throwing in my face how I'll never have someone as hot as her or good in bed as her again. The funny thing is I never saw it more clearly in my life than at that moment that a woman is just a fuck toy. No matter how amazing they may be and how great of a time you had fucking them all toys get old after time. Especially toys that break. You have no desire to fix them anymore. You realize the ol' tossing a ball will readily amuse you just as much as the overpriced shiny toy will. Our goal here with TRP is to not get overly excited about well marketed, shiny objects.

[–]HELPCAPSLOCKSTUCK 127 points128 points  (7 children)

Our goal here with TRP is to not get overly excited about well marketed, shiny objects.

Profound, this

[–]Ptoss 51 points52 points  (1 child)

I lurk a lot and rarely post but this community has really helped me get through the lonely nights. Im sure TRP has prevented a lot of male suicides and that is something that the creators of TRP should be proud of.

[–]se7enpsychopaths 9 points9 points [recovered]

Just when I was finally going to buy myself a PS4

[–]Toussant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not overly excited doesn't mean they didn't buy.

[–]no_face 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How come your comment is not in all CAPS?

[–]Babybluewhaales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The moment where I read that you say a woman is just a fuck toy is that moment as a a woman I want to cry and throw my phone away. That's nasty ass.

[–]questionac 24 points25 points  (14 children)

she kept throwing in my face how I'll never have someone as hot as her or good in bed as her again.

Was she right?

Because if she was, there's not much of an argument since you'll get bored of the ball too eventually.

I'd rather get bored of having a gold bar than a piece of wood.

[–]Prophets_Prey 43 points44 points  (4 children)

My psychotic ex said the same thing to me during the break up phase, verbatim. At first, I actually believed her and wanted to hold on to her. But when the fog cleared, I embraced what she told me, and realised good, I hope I never ever meet anyone like you again.

[–]pandaholic23 23 points24 points  (0 children)

My first ex said the same thing to me then got I a new girl that's better looking. Then the new girl told me the same thing before we broke up. Pretty excited about the next one.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"you'll never find someone like me again." "that's the fucking point."

[–][deleted] 8 points8 points

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[–]blasted_biscuits 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Doesn't matter. The fact that she's the one saying it says enough.

[–]PeluzaHT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly this is my situation right now

[–]obds10456 70 points71 points  (15 children)

Perfect analogy here...for as many people who idolize Beyonce as this carmel-mocha goddess...Jay-Z cheated on her. How's that for perspective? lol

[–]JP116 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Yep. Billy Joel left Christy Brinkley. Think about that.

[–]babybopp 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Hugh grant cheated on Elizabeth hurley...with a hooker.

[–]RPmatrix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah, hooker's can at least be exciting

[–]obds10456 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Find the most beautiful woman in the world, and there's a man who's tired of fucking her."

[–]TheBrokenRuler 26 points27 points  (8 children)

To add to that, every news outlet in the world says Nicki Minaj has the best ass that's ever existed. Meek Mills cheated on her (even tho that dude's career is dead as fuck)

[–]lqtys 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Fat ass is not a nice ass.

Squats are how a good ass is made.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

She has ass implants. I have no solid proof and won't waste my time looking it up, but just look at old pictures of her and compare them to recent ones. Additionally, every picture and video of her is completely fucked off with editing. That ass ain't even real in my opinion.

[–]Toastlove 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Nicki Minaj is the literal definition of Ghetto trash beauty though.

[–]hhamama66 31 points31 points [recovered]

Ghetto trash. There's no beauty there. Just because her ass is big doesn't mean it's a nice ass

[–]iceman202 35 points36 points  (6 children)

For every hit piece of pussy out there, there is some dude tired of fucking it. Preach

[–]Denver_Luv3 22 points23 points  (4 children)

truth is that strange is its own reward and basically every girl gets old after a while. I realized years ago that I never want to be conventionally monogamous again. I truly never want to live with a woman again because that is the worst and makes the sex worse.

[–]hhamama66 15 points15 points [recovered]

I'm gonna be honest with you, living with any woman is not that great, even if that woman is your mother, aunt daughter etc. They always act like the own the place, impose their own bullshit rules on you, limit your freedom, and when you call them out on their shit, they use spaghetti "logic" to weasel their way out of the mess they created.

[–]theONE843663 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This Is so true. Female roommates = never again. I didn't even last a week. Outside of bed, modern women are fucking useless drama Queens and emotional vampire. They were so fucked up I didn't even wanna fuck them. At least my mother can cook better than I can...

[–]sepelion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I avoid holiday dinners just because I can't stand the cunts in my family; this modern, Western, secular, feminist-indoctrinated cunt species that is far and away from the supposed previous eras of charming queens (and that was probably still bullshit, but less stinky bullshit).

[–]blasted_biscuits 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I saw a poster once, had a smokin hot chick in a bikini on it. At the bottom it said, "no matter how hot she is, some dude, somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit."

[–]MelodyMyst 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And the corollary to that... anybody worth being had is already being had by somebody.

[–]macandcheesehole 266 points267 points  (19 children)

Great post. I separated from my wife about a year ago. My first fling was with a former Ms. USA. This girl was hot; not quite like she was when she was a beauty queen, but still the most banging girl I had been with. Not at all worth the hype I had built up in my mind. This girl was just like any other. She had flaws like any other: while passed out after fucking, she was farting like crazy. It was hilarious.
You make a great point: focus on improving yourself, and everything else will fall into place.

[–]Pelikahn 234 points235 points  (4 children)

She held all that in for you during the date.

[–]macandcheesehole 99 points100 points  (1 child)

I give her full credit for holding that in; she must have had a stomach ache from hell. We had actually had dinner in the restaurant I own, so...

[–]Solid_Snake56 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Lol I'm sure that was crazy hard for her to hold in when you were laying her the business too. 😂😂

[–]The_rectumwrecker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omfg I died when I read this! Hilarious!

[–]Turkerthelurker 84 points85 points  (3 children)

The fappening opened my eyes to this one. So many celebrities look so completely average when it's just a selfie.

The photographers and editors are fucking magicians.

[–]blasted_biscuits 34 points35 points  (1 child)

underrated comment. we need to see more of our celebrity idols in natural light and conditions. expensive cameras and photoshop create the pedastalized versions we fall in love with and project onto random women throughout our lives.

[–]bluedrygrass 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Very underrated indeeed. I have to add that i have no clue how can any millennial still believe in female's purity and lack of lust when it's so damn easy to see precious angel snowflakes taking part in facial cum competitions and try to gag themself over stranger cocks.

There are more videos than you could ever see in your whole life, about the classic book worm girl, the nerdy ones, the ones that you'd think don't even know what sex is, being plowed in any position, anywhere, spreading their legs till they hurt, completely covered in cum and smilingly whispering "i hope my dad don't see that"

I guess most sub 20 yo guys are just too stupid to find amateur porn and only click on Sasha Grey and other fake plastic bitches videos and think only pornstars do those things.

[–]1kenpachitz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Photographer here.

You can barely imagine the process those images run through:

  • Professional Makeup & Hair

  • Quality Camera Lenses

  • Controlled Lighting

  • Proper Posing

  • Shooting 100-300 photos

  • Selecting 5-12 best ones

  • Editing each image for hours in Photoshop by a dedicated editor

  • Exporting each image for maximum print/screen quality

Easily 6 figures if you wanted to acquire the collective amount of expertise, equipment, and labour involved in outputting those images.

You can turn a 4 into a woman hot enough to be on a Victoria's Secret runway.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Farting story made me lol in public just now.

[–]1nonthaki 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Well , atleast its better than farting .

[–]2CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK 10 points11 points  (3 children)

How did you find and hook up with her?

[–]1Soarinc 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Shhhhh! You think he's going to answer that honestly? (at least he better not) if more than 2 people know then it won't be a damn secret to anyone!

[–]questionac 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Would you rather a landwhale with a mustache doing that instead?

She's still better than the rest.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

"Landwhale with a mustache"

Profound, this.

[–]bananarepub 5 points6 points  (0 children)

had a real hottie once, but each time we made love, I felt her asshole stenched the room very badly. and she wasn't that nimble in bed.

[–]RUALUM15 140 points141 points  (2 children)

Loved this post. Not bragging, hit on key points, and gave us some perspectives to consider. Great work.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[–]BoalG 19 points20 points  (0 children)

As I have said before one here, this is the one place that "bragging" is appreciated. We take these to heart and encourage our brothers. We don't see them as bragging because they are stories about confidence and strength and they inspire us, they don't get rubbed in our face. Bravo u/The_BitterTruth

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel 33 points34 points  (2 children)

The Red Pill teaches that we should do what makes us better, do what makes us happy, regardless of what a woman thinks about it- and that if we are really on top of our game she WILL like it and will be drawn into our "frame".

There have been times where my efforts toward self-improvement have alienated a woman because she could not yet see the results of my work. I let those women go. I don't need to seek the approval of others when I know I'm on the right path.

Since becoming familiar with Red Pill concepts I've started a business, gained full custody of my kid by lawyering up and taking control, lost a shitload of fat, and gained at least 20 pounds of muscle by developing the discipline to take my ass into the gym four times a week and follow a challenging program.

The woman I was with at the beginning of this said that she hated it when I dieted and went to the gym. Looking back, I can see why: that lack of discipline made me easier to control and, since almost all women lack even the basics of self-discipline, made me easier to understand as well.

I didn't embrace these concepts solely to get laid. I wanted to be a better person overall. That women find it attractive is, to me, only a minor motivation at best. I am creating the best version of myself through MY eyes, not anyone else's.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (1 child)

I dated my ONEinitis for about a year and she was arguably a 10. When we were out and about random strangers would come up to us and tell me she was one of the most beautiful women they've ever seen. She also was raised in a conservative house so she was feminine. But even still, I was more miserable with her than at any point of my life. That was due to my belief that she was perfect and I'm great for snagging her then realizing she wasn't all that special and she didn't make me happy. This eventually led to our breakup. Putting a 10 on a pedestal and watch it all blow up is a great way to get Red Pilled.

I learned a valuable lesson: never make women your only goal and life. They should always be a compliment to your life. Make them compete for your attention against your own ambitions.

[–]JackGetsIt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Make them compete for your attention against your own ambitions.

Well said. I like this phrasing.

[–][deleted] 86 points87 points  (68 children)

So when you've banged everyone out there worthy banging and there's no way to raise the bar...

...what's next?

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 257 points258 points  (19 children)

Honestly I think that's a question that you can only answer for yourself. I think women should be separate of your mission. They should only add to your life - not be the center of it.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (17 children)

That's the answer I was hoping to hear, actually. It's nice to see every now and then that there are some poeple here who see beyond sex.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 111 points112 points  (16 children)

Sex is fun and enjoyable. Most men are completely miserable without sex, but I can promise that there is more to life then sex. Relentlessly pursuing sex left me feeling empty and alone. There's bigger and better things out there than getting laid.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (14 children)

Any advice to a 19 y/o college student who's struggling with oneitis/abundance mentality/lack of sex life? My ltr of two years from senior year to college ended last year and I'm trying to adopt rp approaches to women/sex in general. Next semester I'm going to rush a fraternity at my school which will hopefully help with me learning and practicing game and focusing on bonding with male friends. Any tips to someone in the shitty side of the smp?

[–]Hamilton950B 42 points43 points  (5 children)

I'm probably going to sound like your dad here, but maintain some balance. Chase pussy for sure but remember what college is for and what it costs. There will always be girls.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (3 children)

It's funny you say that, because my dad wasn't really involved in my life, so this whole becoming a man thing has been sorta on my own. That's part of the reason why I'm so grateful for this sub. I totally hear you on working hard in school, I'm about 1/3 the way through college and I'm getting great grades for grad school and I have clear ideas of where I'd like to see myself get to.

[–]no_face 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I got some pussy in college. I got 10x more after college when I had a solid career.

If you get it in college, take it simply because college is "pussy on sale". If you can't, don't worry too much. Maintain your health and looks and make sure you have a solid career and you are set for life (at least till you hit 50)

Just wanted to add, my biggest mistake was regular drinking in college. That shit ages your body. Friend of mine died at 45 due to alcoholism. It all starts with drinking to excess in frat parties. Limit yourself to one drink per party or none if you are on a regular exercise schedule.

[–]dCLIFFb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Keep internalizing the sidebar, put yourself in situations to practice game, lift, lift some more, then lift again. Rinse and repeat.

Put yourself in situations where you don't feel comfortable. Make a fool of yourself in front of others. If you're not sure how you're supposed to act in certain situations, keep your mouth shut and observe people around you.

Most of all just keep learning and keep pushing yourself.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do what you can to improve your looks, they're important to younger girls. Even if you don't have the best face, you can look pretty good with a nice body and good clothes. Looks are important but they won't get you everywhere. You'll have to go out and meet a lot of people - your game will get better through trial and error. Good luck.

[–]andres7832 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It is weird once that realization hits. So many resources spent on procuring sex, when sex is relatively cheap and abundant. So much time putting sex as the end game, getting validation from the women we sleep with, spending time both in time and money to get it.

Your life has a finite ticking clock that can expire at any time. Self improvement gets talked a lot, but I wish there was more about that than dealing with females.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 76 points77 points  (15 children)

Sex is only the beginning.

You might be surprised where your ambition drives you when you've gotten the lizard in your brain to shut up.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 46 points47 points  (2 children)

This. Getting your dick wet regularly (and if possible with a diversity of women) clears your head from that strong & constant need for sex and value-validation it comes with. With that out of the way, you can finally focus deeply on your Mission.

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin 42 points43 points  (1 child)

You can also make a case for the fact that that same sexual urge and seeking of sexual validation has probably been one of the biggest motivators for men to do great things throughout history.

[–]yaysmr 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Not even a joke. Biological imperative to reproduce is a strong drive. And unlike, say, eating, it isn't really sated. A man is driven to spread his seed as far and wide as he can achieve.

Not too much of a coincidence that some of the most powerful/successful men in HISTORY have also been the most insatiably horny. They fight and win and conquer and build and destroy to maximize the number of women they can impregnate, that their progeny may never pass from the earth.

Guy builds a skyscraper in part to secure his own wealth and legacy, but largely to increase the quantity and quality of his mates.

With few exception, ever major achievement a man makes was carried out with the idea "man, this is going to get me so much pussy" echoing in the back of his mind.

[–][deleted] 9 points9 points

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[–]EhrmantrautWetWork 32 points33 points  (0 children)

fulfill all basic needs. when youve eaten, the last thing you want is food. when youre hungry, its all you want.

[–]Vladz0r 16 points17 points  (4 children)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/60/Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg or http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow-pyramid.jpg

There's a self-actualization principle from Abraham Maslow. Basically, you fill the bottom of the pyramid first (most people do it this way, anyway) and as you satisfy your needs, you look onward towards bigger and better things, because you realize that more of the same tier of the pyramid won't give any deeper fulfillment. You move towards being a creator, and seek higher consciousness values.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 5 points6 points  (2 children)

When you've just had lunch, food is the farthest thing from your mind.

When you get good at scoring lays, and access to sex becomes easier, you will find that your priorities shift. You become capable of dedicating your time and effort to other, "higher order" pursuits.

Google Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for further reading.

[–]Physio_Tool 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You gotta go get those sexual needs filled and get that spicy validation for you to realise its a fruitless endeavor. I had my moment. Just flew over to the UK for 2 years of school as a post grad. Was now buff from working out and only had 5 lays before so looking to get balls deep in girls. My first year laid 18 chicks. 12 withing 15 weeks going out like twice a week. Got a same day lay in a clothing store (I was just really lucky, met horny 18 yr old). And after that year fortunately I was able to see how empty it all was. I havent been laid in 6 months but I have no doubts in myself anymore, do not crave the validation and am just focused on my career. That is how you get the lizard brain to shut up. Unfortunately, Some people need to go years and get hundreds of lays in an attempt to keep filling a void and then they get depressed until they realise it.

[–]1lurkingtacopiller 69 points70 points  (5 children)

The golden question. Build something, make a ton of money, start fucking dudes, whatever you want.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 61 points62 points  (3 children)

LOL'd at start fucking dudes

[–]Millixaw 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Some of those asses, though...

[–]Ptoss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remember, it aint gay if you're the one thrusting. RIGHT? I'm the dominant one!

[–]PissedPajamas 18 points19 points  (1 child)

TRP extends past the bedroom. It's done more for my friendships and self respect than anything else could

[–]bigdickdaddyo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There's a fresh batch of 18-year olds every day, my friend.

[–]Hakametal 19 points20 points  (5 children)

Right there, your statement implies that the measure of a man's worth is by banging the hottest girl.

Until a man is able to look inward and cultivate self-respect and self-love... you will always be seeking external validation, either from women or other sources.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I just like asking people questions.

[–]MacNulty 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You give yourself permission to love yourself unconditionally, the ability of which you used to have as a kid, but were conditioned out of it by society. Then you realize that life is much more meaningful and fulfilling when you approach it from the perspective of adding value, than by filling a bottomless pit with countless meaningless targets.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”

[–]LaRedPill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Family, with a 7/8 raised by a protective father, that believes in being feminine, that is a professional in a carrer that is people oriented but can work by herself (Md, teacher).

[–]RUALUM15 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Women are a short term validation tool. It may be about being successful with them in the short term to be able to have the sexual release that men need, but long term it's always about achieving success and self-actualization as a man. You should always strive for this greater goal, but what is that goal? That's for you to decide what your most important priorities are.

[–]endogenic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's next is

(a) learning what is in reality to become able to contribute to others and human society (e.g. by teaching), and

(b) gaining your unique abilities to diagnose problems and to save the lives of those whose own selves are in danger.

You have to "hit the road" searching for those who have kept themselves truthful enough to understand the truth (the one in a million), in order to switch from performing only affection (a lesser duty) to performing love (a greater duty).

[–]IronicTransUsername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe there are more valuable experiences than sex, you get to define what's valuable and the end goals for your life. Go out there and figure it out for yourself.

[–]Your_Coke_Dealer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Impossible. This is part of abundance mentality; there's plenty more women worth banging, they're just not in your immediate vicinity.

[–]iliketreeslikereally 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start looking for 10/10 looks combined with 10/10 personality/intelligence. It'll never happen so it'll keep you busy for life.

In all seriousness, you simply start prioritizing interesting girls over hot ones (sure, why not both). There are many interesting conversations to be had and much fulfillment to be found from just talking to people and experiencing life and its beauty together. Sex is only the beginning, and you need it less and less over time. A deeper sense of fulfillment lays beyond.

[–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (2 children)

The most dangerous women are the ones who work to keep you around and offer more than just a hole. The ultimate Oneitis is the girl who treats you well and tempts you to get comfortable.

Get 80% comfortable in the relationship. Never get fully content, no matter how well you are fucked, how well you are treated, how much the perfect woman throws herself at you. Always strive to make yourself better. The second you allow yourself full contentment with your status or your place in life, you will lose interest, she will lose interest, and you'll end up continuing your mission regardless.

The lesson? Don't take breaks on your mission, no matter how Unicorn-like the girl is.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Next time you guys idolize some chick, remember what we tell little kids... Everybody poops.

[–]xRedStaRx 17 points18 points  (1 child)

But what if I want to drag my balls ten miles through broken glass just to get her to poop in my mouth, does that mean I have a strong case of oneitis?

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Come back with the field report, at the very least.

[–]IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 17 points18 points  (1 child)

"No matter how hot she is, somewhere out there there's someone who's tired of fucking her and sick of her shit."

[–]dragonofthesouth1 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This hit home dude. Just smashed a longtime dream girl, a 10. Was fun... and thats about it. Sex wasn't actually nearly as good as the 7 that is my main plate. Still, it was fun. But after I was astounded at how little it did to make me feel good. It's really only when I am crushing my dreams, writing my book, rocking it at work, etc. that gives that true feeling of fulfillment. As I apply TRP game advice more and moreso it becomes clearer that women are the side dish, an important one, but the main course is my kingdom.

[–]questionac 13 points14 points  (5 children)

The question is, was she better than all the other girls you had? All the previous oneitises? Who would you choose if you had to and why?

That she's not perfect is not an argument if she's still better than everyone else.

Also genetics and physical qualities are very important.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 14 points15 points  (4 children)

I haven't had too many ONEitises, but I wouldn't choose this girl for anything just yet - because I don't really know her for who she really is.

To me, she is the overall most beautiful girl (whole package), but she isn't the funniest girl I know, or the one with the best tits, ass, or best pussy (but they're all great). She isn't the funnest, or the smartest girl I've ever had. She may be better than my other plates in terms of well roundedness, but she doesn't blow any of them out of the water.

Yes she is beautiful but if I was going to choose just one girl (I will eventually when I want to have kids), it would have to be more than just her looks, but also how much I enjoy her company (along with a lot of other things).

This post wasn't to say that she is bad or that I don't enjoy time with her or anything of the sort, it was just to say that putting a girl on a pedestal will make it hard to see her for who she really is and cloud your decision making ability.

[–]1nonthaki 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes man , everyone even betas must raise the bar for these fucking bitches .

[–]questionac 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This post wasn't to say that she is bad or that I don't enjoy time with her or anything of the sort, it was just to say that putting a girl on a pedestal will make it hard to see her for who she really is and cloud your decision making ability.

Sure, but you said

She may be better than my other plates in terms of well roundedness

And I'd bet she's better overall than all your past women, which is why you can't say it was proven she wasn't. She's not that better, or has everything better, but she is better overall. Which is why I think in the end you'd choose her, why would you choose one overall worse?

I agree with you generally, but this can't help people with oneitis because you basically agree with their thought that she is better if not much better.

I've yet to see a 7 or 8 win against a 10 unless she has at least a deal breaking red flag.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't say she is the overall most enjoyable plate to be around - that would keep me from choosing her for anything just yet.

[–]EinnobMac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I find sex gets better in LTR's, as your bodies start to sync up. So long as red flags are low...keep exploring. First impressions are just that. First impressions.

[–]killsyou123 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My dad always told me a girl who's interesting after you dump a load in her is a catch haha

[–]AmazonExplorer 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Posts like this sometimes makes me wonder wonder if women also need the redpill. Women too, put Chads on a pedestal yet when they finally reach what they couldn't have before, they see all of his imperfections and reject them too for being imperfect. We've all been tricked by the bluepill of false expectations, brainwashed by Hollywood and Disney with a princess in distress and a happily-ever-after.

[–]VigilantRedRooster 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Posts like this sometimes makes me wonder if women also need the redpill.

They do, it's the same relationship praxeology, but implemented toward complementary goals to those of men. Check out redpillwomen.

[–]Getzabelz 12 points12 points [recovered]

That's a very good point. They work to Chad as we work for a girl that is not a fucking cunt.

[–]sourdieselfuel 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Isn't it crazy that in the modern western world the bar is set so low that the 2 main requirements for acceptable women are being in shape and not being a cunt? Still doesn't stop most of them from failing on both.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

When I catch myself seeking validation from others, I like to imagine what it would feel like to get that validation from them. Then I think, how would that change my life at all. The answer is that it wouldn't and I feel freed from having to get that validation.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great, I will start using this regularly. Thank you.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 21 points22 points  (7 children)


  • Oneitis occurs when your sex hormones "influence" your mind and bend reality to fit what is desired. You see what you want to see and do "self blinding" of everything else.

  • Game works the same way on other people when you use it.

  • The Blue Pill is an "emotional indoctrination" where reality is manipulated based on your emotions so that you see what the "programmer" wants you to see.


So these ideas are all related to reality in the "bigger picture" understanding.

Our task in the Red Pill is to realize the myths (the emotional tricks being played upon us) and destroy those myths in our mind.

"Kill the Beta" means "Wake Up" or "Destroy the Myths" or "See the Light" and it's all about seeing objective reality instead of subjective reality.

The beta is purely subjective and programmed.

Ego is the wildcard... it breaks from subjective programming, but can get lost in other ways, but you need to separate to see what you were doing as a beta.


[–]questionac 1 point2 points  (6 children)

That's true, everyone who had more than one "oneitis" should see it, since he can't feel anything for the past one(s).

Yet that doesn't stop him from feeling for the current one.

Stupid brain.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Always remember the Irish guy at the bar telling you a tall tale.

After a while you get sucked into the illusion he is spinning... pretty soon you believe the story he is telling you.

Later when you sober up you think about the story and realize it was complete bullshit.

As the saying goes:

"There's a sucker born every minute."

...nothing is new.


The only difference with Oneitis is we bullshit ourselves... stupid brain.


[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

What if you love a girl and she has imperfections that you accept and you have imperfections that she accepts? What if both the people actually love each other?

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Knowing a someone and accepting who they are as a person is a lot different than idolizing someone and worshiping a self made image of someone you don't know.

[–]Ericgzg 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I believe everything you said and I think most will agree with you that sex with a perfect 10 isn't what life should be about, but I think what most men want is to reach the point of clarity you are at, to finally get that thing they've always wanted and in doing so finally be able to move on, to say I did it and I'm over it and I am moving on to bigger and better things. Without ever having fucked your oneitis that nagging voice that likes to say "you aren't good enough" is just a little louder than it should be.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMentORPHEUS 7 points8 points  (1 child)

After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her.

Interesting... a case of post hoc sour grapes!

Having an internalized abundance mentality from spinning multiple plates really helps de-pedestalize women and put them in proper perspective with one's overall life mission. You have to be doing it right though; if you try to treat them all as top-level girlfriends, maintaining your harem becomes a fulltime endeavor, literally speeding from woman to woman at times.

Thanks for a refreshingly great FR, OP!

[–]ipretendiamacat 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"I don't want to be part of any club that will have me as a member" - Groucho Marx

[–]Gator196 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lmao some Comic says it best, every time you fuck a girl they're just a little less attractive. That's why married guys die sooner, cause they want too

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Idolizing a girl is not as much about her as it is about you.

Is your life in order? Are you slaying it? Are you on the top of your game?

If not, you have bigger problems than getting "the one".

[–]CaptainCringeworthy 16 points16 points [recovered]

In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities.

You're just being superficial here. Just because she has a birth mark now all of the sudden you've lost interest? You're being shallow and self-centered. You are in it only for yourself. I mean, just when you're getting close to this girl and she is opening herself up to you, all of the sudden she isn't worth shit to you. Props to fucking her, definitely. And if that was all you were looking for, then kudos to you. But if this was a woman you were actually interested in, just because she is now human in your eyes she isn't worthy of you any more? That's not right man.

The only thing special about her is her looks - and she really doesn't bring anything into my life except another hole to fill.

This is why people lambast TRP. She is a HUMAN BEING. She has thoughts, feelings, and emotions. She isn't just "another hole to fill". It's bullshit thinking like this that leads men to objectify women, and that is a dangerous path to take.

IDGAF if this goes against the flow of every comment on this thread. Downvote me to oblivion. I'm sick of seeing people treated like this anyway.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey Captain,

Thanks for your reply. I like it when someone is able to speak against the crowd, especially when they know their opinion is against the grain and popular opinion.

Yes I am in it only for myself. That's life though. Everyone is in it for themselves - even if they weren't I would still be in it for myself. No argument against being shallow an self-centerd.

just because she has a birth mark now all of the sudden you've lost interest?

I will take the time to explain this further because I didn't write it in the original post. I haven't lost interest in her. Honestly I have quite the crush on her.

all of the sudden she isn't worth shit to you. just because she is now human in your eyes she isn't worthy of you any more?

This isn't what I meant by my post. I don't think she's not worthy of me. If anything I'm the weird one who has to consciously not idolize a girl that he's dating. My idolization of her is unhealthy for both her and I. This post isn't about how don't give a fuck about her anymore, it's that I've re-calibrated my perception of her to a realistic level.

She has thoughts, feelings, and emotions.


Ultimately, if I decide to objectify her or not is up to me, but I appreciate your comment and concern.

[–]JackGetsIt 5 points6 points  (7 children)

So how do you defeat oneitis before banging? Or do I just have to go out and bang every girl I get oneitis for?

[–]Getzabelz 9 points9 points [recovered]

When you fuck a lot of girls of different kinds and you get a lot of experience in the game, you will how no matter what she looks like or does, she is still a woman and will act like the other ones.

She is a slut, she is bitchy, she will try to control you, make your life miserable.

Everytime I get in a LTR is because she's became my oneitis, a bit of time later, when I have fucked her enough and she relaxes you'll see all bad things she's got.

Believe me, when you know a new girl and you think she's perfect, she's just showing you the Chad's package, but once you compromise, It will be all over and you will start meeting the real girl behind all those smiles... Then, you will realize.

[–]JackGetsIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everytime I get in a LTR is because she's became my oneitis, a bit of time later, when I have fucked her enough and she relaxes you'll see all bad things she's got.

This is me in a nutshell as well. I've basically sworn off LTR's for the foreseeable future.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I didn't. I can't answer that question for you, but I think it's important to realize the girl you want is a product of your imagination and desires. Knowing that she isn't all you're making her out to be is a huge step in the right direction.

[–]JackGetsIt 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I think it's important to realize the girl you want is a product of your imagination and desires

Agreed. I have experience, and currently spin 2-3 plates and I have read redpill for years but girls still come along that hit all the buttons and make me go off into 'maybe she's different' land. There's also girls with certain 'looks' that I'm more programmed towards and it's difficult to game them when that anxiety you mentioned in your post starts to build. I've gotten way better at this through the years but it's still there. It's like alcoholism. Everyday is a new fight; everyday you have to make a conscious choice not to drink/fall for girl game.

Another problem I have is that women that are into me will find all the things I like and like liquid metal terminator morph into what I want and I can't tell where the real girl is and the show she's putting on for me begins. Pain in the ass. So I go through relationships in this la la land where I say to myself: "she's not put out, She loves hiking! she's not put out she loves beer!" Then after the break up all her girlfriends come up to me and tell me how much she hated hiking and beer.

[–]kellykebab 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Why care if they're acting? If they do it for you and are happy about it, that's great. Many attractive, normal, feminine women don't really have a multitude of passionate interests anyway. You're supposed to be the leader, not a teammate.

[–]JackGetsIt 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You're supposed to be the leader, not a teammate.

Agreed, but if a leader gets too out of touch with their followers that's how you build resentment and potential monkey branching.

[–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is the above situation, where the girl doesn't share "genuine" interest in hiking and beer, an example of the leader being out of touch?

[–]Chemlab187 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not a better person for fucking her. It doesn't make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.

A couple of commentors and the OP have touched on the idea that ONEitis starts with sex hormones.
Shouldn't we instead look for plates that fulfill our lives in areas outside of sex?
Plenty of women are smart, ambitious, and can provide us higher standard of living outside of sex.
If they're not adding value then next.

[–]Stythe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Women are just a challenge to be overcome, like anything else. The more you fuck, the more it becomes just a normal part of life. Then it's on to the next thing, having gained the skills to fuck.

That's just how guys are. TRP is focused so much in women, but the mental dynamic behind them and the power they have over you is the same as anything you haven't beaten yet.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points

[permanently deleted]

[–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this thread has really chilled me out honestly. Ive saved it as its a good thing to read if you ever get too fixated on someone.

[–]HAMMURABl 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me.

Thanks for writing this - it is exactly what i feel whenever i just start to get naked with a chick i tried to bang all night. The moment we are in bed and i know we will fuck, the moment she watches me with lust in her eyes - that very moment is the moment i stop idolizing her, because i got what i wanted. I guess we have to be honest here and say that this is no different than the chick wanting an aloof man to love her, only to ultimately feel disappointed when this very man then expresses his love (before her saying it)

[–]DokDaka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is why girls used to be told not to give away the milk for free. For many, the girl falls off the pedestal once they've copulated. This could be due to either the Madonna/Whore dichotomy or just general idolization/disillusionment - like what we see here.

[–]Bubbaluke 3 points4 points  (1 child)

awesome post dude. I flew home for the holidays and I've been hanging out with my old group of friends, one of which is a recently single girl. She looked really good and I got her running through my head too much, I needed to read exactly this. Cheers, man.

[–]iplayhearts 5 points5 points [recovered]

DANK POST BRUH.... I can definitely relate. There definitely is something to be said for gaming 10's... but this speaks to a deeper human condition of habituation to stimuli and the decreasing arousal to novel stimuli as a function of time ( in behaviorist terms) this phenomenon is aptly called the Hedonic Treadmill... and it will wear you out. This is the foundation of deeper understanding espoused by Buddhism and also TRP itself..... thank you for an ultra dank post bro.

[–]thetotalpackage7 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Oneitis" chicks don't even have to be that good looking. Many a chump will pedastalize a 6 simply because she paid the slightest bit of attention to them and now feel like this "one" is their only chance to get their dick wet.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All I want to say is don't get caught up in revenge fantasies,

Guys will go on and on and on over one girl, go bang other people, that one girls isn't yours you don't own her, and frankly why would you want to keep used goods

Never get married, be free, save your money, invest in things that you find enjoyable, pussy is only so good find fulfilment in other things, if you want a son pay a surrogate

[–]saulisdating 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This often happens with most fantasies. They're the best thing ever when you're not there yet, but once you achieve them and look at them again with fresh eyes - they often seem pretty mediocre and you don't really understand what made you behave that way in the first place.

The human condition, I guess. You want something you don't have, and then lose interest once you got it. So focus more on the journey, not the goal, I guess.

[–]bananarepub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her.

reminds me of part of a French novel I read long ago: after the character finally had his ONEitis he described as so beautifule just looking at made his eyes hurt:

  • and then I had her, there she was laying in the bed, with the moonlight glossing off her skin. I started to look closer at her and I started to think, that perfect body is nothing but an agile construction of flesh, fat, muscles and veinous tubes... and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like vomiting very brutally like never before.

[–]gods_bones 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Are you serious right now? I came in here thinking this was a story about how she used and abused your love and trust, and instead it's a story about how as soon as you fucked her, you gained a superiority complex. She had a nervous tick she can't control, oh my God how disgusting, how could I stick my dick in that? Give me a break. As far as I can see, you're the asshole here and she is way too superior for you.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yes I'm an asshole, but so are you so we're even.

Now that we're over that, I didn't say I was going to kick her to the curb. I said that I had unrealistic, unhealthy expectations of her, and that I am working towards (and now have) a more realistic image of her.

[–]mill58 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Nothing special.. but you enjoyed that 10... that is the point, you already got what you wanted... it was not up to your expectations but you did it! you fucked that perfect 10. All the other orbiters in that cellphone want to be you, someday...

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Yea that's true, but that's coming from a place of validation seeking. What kind of man am I if I let my self worth be determined by the woman I'm fucking?

[–]HS-Thompson 6 points7 points  (2 children)

A normal man.

It's fucking great, don't sell yourself so short. I fucked a bunch of straight 10's, model and actress types, back when I was on a bit of a rampage. I look back on it and smile about it all the time, sometimes one will text me and their litttle avatar face will remind me of some cinematic evening. The older I get the more glad I am that I have those memories.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it's great to check things like that off your list and a little feeling of validation is good assuming you don't let it negatively affect your life and motivations. I think fucking straight up gorgeous women and having way too much money are things every TRP man should try to experience at one point in their life.

Once you've done it, you can move on, but there's no harm in being a little proud of yourself for accomplishing something most men care a lot about.

[–]mill58 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But after the experience you now understand that is just another girl and that is the important part.

[–]sanzensekai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post - clear, sober, and concise. I thoroughly appreciated your take on the subject matter and how you conveyed what you learned. 👍👍👍

[–]grabbinbuttz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post. Pretty much had the same experience last week but my mind went in the opposite direction and inflated my ONEitis. This post really helped me re-center my perspective.

[–]falecf4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post! It helps me reflect back on when I had one-itis and couldn't get over it, when I fucked my one and another time when I probably would have gotten one-itis if I hadn't pulled her at my house party from the dbag that brought her.

[–]iceman202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow I'm in a very similar situation. I crush it and spin plates like a champ. Recently Ive met my oneitis, she is my definition of an angel. Absolutely gorgeous, we're going on our third date tonight. I haven't gotten it in, but she's been in my bed and we've fooled around. I've already noticed some flaws, and i've kept my alpha attitude, but i've been playing this one much different than my standard routine.

[–]1StoicCrane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.

Amazing take away OP. This is what some users her tend to forget. Women are by no means the goal but complimentary add-ons that emerge in our lives when we're on our purpose and actively developing ourselves.

[–]brinkcitykilla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.

This - truly realizing this can take some a lifetime.

[–]Project_Thor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Well there's one thing I know. Bitches they come and go." - Eminem. Learned this shit when I was in Grade 5. Step yo game up kids.

[–]MontmorencyWHAT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to date an almost physically perfect model. I slowly fell out of liking her because despite having studied literature, she couldn't name a book she'd read recently. She was up on celebrity gossip.

Got to the point where I was embarrassed to be associated with her in any company which featured people who think. Authors, intellectuals, scientists. Because it reflected poorly on me and became irritating. It was a symbol of settling, of being complacent for the sake of getting laid.

Ditched her without any fireworks. "This isn't working out" I said. A good decision.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the feeling and for me it stemmed from my insecurities. My thought was "If im banging this hot chick then there's no question I am a cooool duuude" so my self worth was based on putting my dick in a wet hole.

It's intimidating getting into the relationship, difficult playing the game and tolerating her shit to get her committed, then once I'm in, my whole life becomes so stressed around maintaining it that my personal interests become a back burner. And sex is never as good during the act as it seems before or after. Then when she leaves, cheats, or something bad happens to end it, there's a stressful breakup that leaves me broken. All because I needed the validation outside of myself.

Im at a point now where I'm so driven towards my goals that I'll mess around with a girl from time to time but once she acts up and starts causing stress in my life, I'm like Jerry Seinfeld when he walks in his apartment, takes off his belt, and throws it in the trash because it brushed up against the side of the urinal in a public restroom... that's the end of that.

[–]sepelion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You won't get around the modern reality that all women are used: the era of chaste virgins saving it for you to have something no other man had is gone. Women in the modern West are used before they're legal.

ONEitis is a nice feeling, because it helps us believe we're not just some rooster in the Coolidge Effect experiment; it helps us believe that there might be an end to all of the anarchy, loneliness, and pointless "sampling of some other guy's seconds" that is modern secular Western dating.

Me personally, I go past it all, and for me it's either a high-quality girlfriend, or just jerking off once in a while. I have better things to do with my time than look at, smell, and poke around some pussy that's been passed around a dozen dudes, but due to the current social order has an exponentially inflated market value. Seeing guys fawn over used women reminds me of all of the men stuck in the "the next video game will be better, the last one failed" loop, when in reality, it was always just designed to get your resources of time and money in exchange for a few dopamine hits which would inevitably meet with diminishing returns.

[–]Pitmpm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person. -Quote-

[–]Ascended_One 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Good post, thank you.

Why did you end with the word "bitter" though?

[–]1nonthaki 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Cause The RED PILL is fu*king Bitter to swallow , my friend .

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also why I chose this username

[–]CreamiestCream 1 point2 points  (2 children)

She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl.

Highschooler Timmy learns that people are flawed. His next inspiring article will tackle the P versus NP problem, but only if mummy lets him stay up late.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yea, how should I ask her to let me stay up late?

[–]jocomoco 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I've read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They're usually written about the girl we can't have, or the girl that's out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can't have them.

This is exactly what women need to feel. The question is how can we make them feel it ?

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Don't give them attention like their beta orbiters do

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very sobering thought that you've shed light on here. I have been in similar situations where before sex I was thinking things like "omg is this really happening?" And afterwards it was certainly good but I had this feeling like that's all?

In my mind I had invisoned her as flawless as you said and that the pussy was heavenly! But afterwards the best way I can describe it is disappointing. Not because the sex was bad but bc in my mind I had impossibly high unrealistic expectations.

[–]Wolffy93 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I know for a fact I am struggling quite a lot with wanting the experience of sex as well as the validation; even with successful men in my life all around me telling me to focus on myself and career and the women will eventually come.

Feel almost ashamed - a large motivating factor for me relentlessly pursuing my music career, gym / lifting / maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and hobby of magic is to eventually get laid. I read through the side bar every morning with breakfast and night before going to sleep as well as Rollo's blog for about an hour each.

Don't know if that is exactly a healthy motivation, but it is kicking my ass into gear. One day will reach a point where pussy is in such abundance that it is just a fleeting thought instead of a very big consuming thought.

[–]DokDaka 2 points3 points  (1 child)

doing this for more than a week or two is really excessive. Spend more time reflecting and doing and less reading about RP theory. Seriously focus on yourself more. Keep doing magic if YOU really enjoy but honestly it is more of a negative than anything if you already are a healthy musician who lifts.

[–]scramtek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got it. If I develop oneitis, fuck her until I realise/remember that AWALT.

[–]grass_cutter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Meh, oneitis happens more with younger/ more inexperienced guys. Because everyone has the same epiphany you do (hopefully, I guess if you're a hard case, may take a while).

Yeah there's more to life than fucking a hot chick or measuring your worth by that. Meh.

But many guys are driven by ego.

After a while you look for more than just looks - this is obvious to pretty much anyone who beds a beauty queen who is annoying (or dumb) as fuck.

I'd rather be dating a cool chick who makes my dick hard then some perfect 10 who is pretty damn annoying the minute I bust a nut.

[–]blackberryx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

" this is obvious to pretty much anyone who beds a beauty queen who is annoying (or dumb) as fuck."

wow dude that's so true. Met this gorgeous girl when i was 19 but she was dumb as fuck, she asked me once after she hard me talk to my mom on the phone in Spanish if and i shit you not "does that mean you can talk to animals"

still banged her for a few more weeks but after that i realized 9/10s are not worth the effort

[–]blackberryx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm i fucked my Oneitis and the sex wasn't worth it.

[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really good lesson: every single one of us that is past the infatuation can probably recall a defect of that perfect one which at that time you didn't even notice.

At the end I remember seeing the asymmetrical nose; it was right there, in the middle of her face and I never noticed it.

[–]iliketreeslikereally 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I, for one, try to encourage idolizing and greater emotions because it makes me happier in the end. And when it doesn't work out, it's not hard to become cynical and realistic again.

Ride the high.

[–]Darthstacker 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm shocked she had sex with you. When most woman find a guy that idolizes them they go into full dick tease mode because they like the ego boost. Your "10" will learn this after her experience with you that your value to her ego is higher than just a lay. Actually you probably hurt her ego because you weren't nearly as interested in her afterwards. Thanks for ruining another "10" for the rest of us LOL.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried my best to never let it out that I idolized her. I very rarely gave her compliments. When I wasn't fucking her I was still getting laid a lot so I don't think I came off as needy at all.

[–]victor_knight 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her

No condom? Not very smart. Expect no sympathy from the medical establishment or the state if the shit hits the fan.

[–]1The_BitterTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After I dumped my load inside her (inside a condom) - there you go

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