Blog Article: http://www.redpilldoctor.com/lmr-from-your-ltr-never-let-a-girl-decide-when-you-dont-get-to-have-sex/
A guy on askTRP posted the following...
So I was celebrating NYE with my friends and we all brought our women. I was teasing my LTR the whole night.
Somewhere around 4 am I tell her to come with me and told her that I'm taking her where we can be alone. I grabbed her as she was saying he Oh yes , take me there .
We enter my buddy's bedroom and we hit it off. I start removing her dress and she spurts the shit test we all know , also stopping me.
Is that all I am to you?
I like your sandwiches too!
What? Be serious. You've been looking at me all night like all you want to do is sex.
Sure , but you should learn how to do lasagna.
And she makes the bed, because no sex is happening. So I withheld intimacy.
She started shit testing me again.
Hey. Why are you not speaking.
Silence with a grin
Why are you so cold.
Told her she should start calling me frosty and I fell asleep.
I honestly don't know what happened. She was looking all horny and then this. All shit test passed but ended up sleeping in a bed where my LTR did not stop trying to cuddle me and kiss me? What is your take? What did I not do? What did I do wrong? All feedback appreciated.
Don't worry, you're not alone. I've been there along with millions of other guys. Let me lay it out for you.
What you experienced was LMR or (L)ast (M)inute (R)esistance. Usually, this is a specific kind of ASD or (A)nti-(S)lut (D)efense, but this time it's of a different breed because it has nothing to do with her image...
Why is She Doing This? What did You Do Wrong?
1) She lost attraction
For whatever reason, you no longer arouse her, but you're useful in other ways: comfort, security, and provisioning. Your SMV currency has loss its value and you must compensate for that with beta bucks. Or your SMV lost all its value and there's nothing you can do to compensate at all.
I listed this second because this could happen to anyone of any SMV. You didn't have to do anything wrong. All women eventually weaponize their vaginal gatekeeper position to pressure men into doing something for them. ALL women DO that.
Have you noticed that when women want you to act a certain way, they shame you with "you'll never get a girlfriend acting like that", or "not if you wanna have sex tonight" ? (Read: Glossary of Shaming Tactics on the sidebar). They never say you'll never get a good job, you'll get fat, they'll hurt you, or you'll never have fun in life. No, that's because a woman's sexuality is the only power she has. She will attempt to use your desire for sex as leverage for her own personal gain.
What Not to Do
If you were like me (pre-TRP), you would have attempted to communicate and discuss her needs so you can come to a solution and implement it. But that would logical and efficient; women are neither. Remember: Communication is beta. It's also blue pill thinking because a woman will never tell you how to get into her pants. Most women also have no idea and can't pinpoint the root cause of their feelings and will give you superficial gibberish to rationalize her emotions and the actions that manifest from it.
"Never ask fish how to catch fish, ask the fishermen" - Patrice O'Neal
Attempting to solve the problem directly is an attempt at negotiation. Women's sexuality reacts to action and vibe, not words. Thus, you cannot negotiate desire.
- Sidenote: Those two links are mandatory. You will discontinue reading this post, read them, then come back if you have not already done so.
The first time I encountered this was over text. My girlfriend and I went to different colleges and tried to make the LDR thing work with Skype, text, and phone calls. I would send her long erotic messages of what I was gonna do to her when I see her again. My goal was to maintain the sexual attraction as much as I could from 4,792.10 miles away according to an online distance calculator. Initially she loved them and sent sexual banter back. But eventually, she popped the question:
Her: "Is sex all you think about? Is that all our relationship means to you?".
I immediately caved and apologized. I attempted to comfort her feelings. I wanted to be on her good side. I admitted I was wrong and promised not to do it again (barf).
- edit: I encountered this a second time when she came back from college. One day she just wanted to "cuddle". Instead this time, I went to the other side of my room and worked on a project. She stared at me waiting for me to "stop my act", then got bored and played with her phone. I don't remember what happened after.
NEVER apologize for your maleness, your masculinity. NEVER apologize for your sexuality. You didn't do anything wrong by initiating sex when you wanted it. Apologizing for that is fucking beta. She WILL lose major attraction to you if you do this. Mind you that you could be completely in the wrong with women, deny all wrong doing, blame her for everything, and have her wanting you in the end. Women react more to the emotional vibes of your speech as opposed to the actual words themselves. Holding frame is key. Always hold frame.
If you cave and tell her what she supposedly wants to hear, you will be viewed as beta and she will just cuddle and give a kiss or two. Maybe even some duty sex. The very thing that allows her to extract resources is the very thing that turns her off when successful.
The Biggest Enemy is Thyself
When guys encounter this LMR, they become alarmed because...
1) Self-imposed Scarcity
You have no other sexual alternatives at the moment. You have this urge to fuck, but the only girl available isn't putting out. You didn't cultivate back-up options. You should always be flirting with other women on the side and have their numbers in your phone just in case (pursuit not necessary, just have them). You didn't do this and now you've become desperate. You will more than likely resort to 'communicating', negotiating desire, and apologizing in hopes of her changing her mind.
2) Blue Pill Mythology
Even if you had options (intentionally or unintentionally), you wouldn't even think to pursue other women because you''re stuck in a mental prison instilled in you by society. You have a subconscious door blocking you from considering it.
"Wouldn't that be cheeeating? Isn't that wroooong?"
So you're in a relationship where the unspoken rules are that you get pussy in exchange for some commitment, but she isn't putting out and the first thing that comes to mind is how can you work within the system that's not working to your benefit?
Let's put it another way. Let's say you did your 40, then upon payday, your employer decides to withhold your paycheck until your put in some overtime, and then maaaybe you'll get your money. You'd be like: "fuck you; pay me". If this became a problem and they didn't shape up, you'd look elsewhere for employment (along with a lawsuit).
"Oh b-b-but a relationship is different! It's about love, caring and understanding! It would hurt her feelings. That's wrong!"
Pussy. The girl that supposedly loves and cares about you is intentionally withholding your needs to screw you over and the first thing you think about is not hurting her feelings. Pussy.
What To Do
"How will you act when the girl takes the pussy hostage and puts a gun to it's head?"
The OP of the askTRP thread posted in the beginning attempted to bypass the LMR with humor. If the reason she's putting up resistance is because she lost attraction to you, no amount comedy will get you inside her. If she's just doing the normal power play, humor may work. If it does work, cool. However, if your humor or A&A doesn't work, or if it's based on insecurity, this issue will come up again, again, and again. There is no way around it. There is no magic PUA potion spell that will spread her legs. If you fail, tell her you've got to take care of some things and that you'll call her later. No explanation. She may get dramatic and may even outright say "is it because I wont have sex with you?" Don't take that direct speech bait. Just repeat the idk line, give her a kiss on the head and leave. Don't reply to texts or answer calls for the rest of the day. Then start pursuing other women (but don't tell her).
If you keep hanging out while removing your focus from her, she's probably gonna say "you've changed", "what's wrong?", blah blah blah. Translation: "why are you not giving me attention?" Never explain yourself, you cannot negotiate desire. Just say: "i dont know what you're talking about. DO NOT vent out your feelings so that you feel heard, she doesn't give a fuck. I repeat, she doesn't give a fuck. Actions not words.
Pursue other women. When a new woman does not allow escalation or a girl you've had sex with is not giving up the ass, the interaction has zero purpose. Sex is the foundation of all male-female interaction, everything else just builds off that. The second she starts playing these games, disengage in a non-butthurt manner, then start pursuing other women on the side.
Warlock's Law 7: Never let a woman have a monopoly on your sex life. Never let a woman get to decide when don't get to have sex (Warlock's Laws).
This is why marriage (economic/sex contract) today is a complete fraud. She is no longer obligated to put out, while you're still obligated to provide and retain fidelity. She can never have sex with you, have a full-time job, cheat, have another man's baby, initiate the divorce, and still take your shit and acquire alimony and
backdoor alimony child support.
Dread game, although effective, is not good enough. 'Fidelity dread' while experiencing a sexual drought is still playing within her frame. You need to exit it entirely. She is entitled to choose who she fucks and when he fucks. She is entitled to her sexuality, but not yours. I'm not joking, this is not some internet alpha posturing: have sex with some other girl. A girl cannot expect exclusivity while not have having sex with you.
One thing you can do is take her out (which will uplift her spirit and think everything is back to normal), then use her as a pre-selection prop and subtly hit on other girls right in front of her. Deny all accusations of such actions: "You're being paranoid we were just talking." Yes, lie in the face of all evidence to the contrary. That's how the game is played. She may give an ultimatum or make a scene when this happens, in which case, [the relationship is most likely already over. If you placate to her whims or cave-in, los tingles are gone forever and you'll be beta in her eyes. She'll hold your hand and give quick kisses and hugs, but no sex, maybe duty sex (linked above). If you'd rather not deal with her, you can always soft-next her.
Bang other girls. There is no other option. You cannot negotiate desire. You cannot use logic and reason. She's playing games and she knows it. Look out for numero uno and don't care about her feelings. When women know that you care, they will eventually use it against you while not caring themselves. When women know you have values and stick to reason, they'll uphold you to that standard while not following it themselves.
I repeat, pursue other women. 'Cheating' doesn't matter. Don't dump her so you can bang strange 'guilt free'. You shouldn't feel any guilt because she has tried to screw you over. No mercy. No "take the higher road". That's blue pill thinking. It's part of the mental prison society attempts to instill in you. You are out for thyself. Anyone who doesn't contribute to that shall be ignored.
Will this tactic end things between you two? Possibly. But it doesn't matter because only the present matters. Presently, you aren't getting anything out of it (sex). Longevity doesn't matter because "Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association" (Briffault's Law). You're not losing anything except a burden at this stage. You'd be surprised how many women stay with a man despite 'indiscretions' when he does it with conviction and doesn't apologize.
Did I forget to mention pursue other women?
Never feel guilt or be deterred by shame for looking after your best interests.
Never be afraid to walk away from a situation that doesn't benefit you.
Never be a slave to the pussy.
Never feel immoral to succeed at the expense of someone else who wishes to screw you over.
Never let a woman have a monopoly on your sex life.
Never forget the game.
Being single is better than being a deadbedroom/duty sex beta bux, every time. The fact a relationship ends does not mean you did anything wrong. Even if you did, it's most certainly not the end of the world even though it may feel that way. Emotions are in constant flux, especially women's. This is not within your control. This is often just a natural progression in the sea of life. Women are fickle and difficult by design. It forces males to fight, clown, and provide against each other for the right to inseminate females, thus ensuring genetic diversity and only the most adapted reproduce. It's a win for her regardless of the victor. Do yourself a favor and be a higher-level being: don't be a slave to your genetic programming. She's not yours, it's just your turn.
Realize most relationships in life are temporary. They bud, bloom, then decay. Then another buds and the process repeats itself. They take their course, serve their purpose, then they dismantle. You can do textbook RP, and it will still happen. Don't attempt to retard this process. Delaying the inevitable will only result in prolonged dissatisfaction. This applies to friends, family, relationships, allies, plates... everything.
Nothing gold can stay.
edit 1: Is Refusing Sex Grounds For A Soft Next?
edit 2: The ultimate shittest: witholding sex
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