My inbox has been flooded, royally flooded by messages from depressed and worried guys in their teens and early 20s. Instead of going one by one to reply to that many messages, I decided to make this post.
I hope that endorsed contributors on here make some posts geared towards younger men as well.
A happy youth: The biggest blue pill lie no one talks about.
Consume any form of media or read most modern works, they'll have you thinking that life from the ages of 16-22 involves a lot of partying, socializing, making a lot of friends, having a lot of sex, and just overall having that carefree fun lifestyle. So many times they tell you these are the years to enjoy life before it becomes filled with work, responsibilities, and "gets serious".
The blue pill lie of a happy youth, one that is aggressively pushed by media as well as society. A phrase they love to say "best 4 years of your life" to describe both high school and college, either one of those, whatever they're both better than what comes after according to society.
The happy youth, for the most part, is reserved for hot girls and for guys from wealthier families.
Wealthier meaning the guys whose parents can afford to send them to college, pay for everything (including the all important Greek Life dues and spring breaks), and the ones who spent their childhood and adolescence in the middle class (at the very least) suburbs or wealthier areas of a place thanks to their family's fortune.
Ever notice how a lot of the movies depicting the stereotypical high school experience with the cliques and popularity contests seem to take place in the same types of high schools? Mostly suburban and white, never really the working class or poor high schools.
All of the "high school experience" and "college experience" narratives apply to guys and girls from that kind of a background. I even noticed it back in my college days as the suburban kids with rich parents partied hard and lived "the college experience" while the kids from working class backgrounds worked through college to pay for it and were never really involved in that scene, for them college was grades and getting a job.
They don't ever mention this, all of the "fun experiences" that they promote in your youth cost a lot of money, in this case your parents' money.
Fancy vacation with your friends? Costs money!
Greek Life? Dues are very expensive!
Spring break? Not cheap!
All of this "high school experience" and "college experience" they pedestalize, it is mostly a rich kid's privilege. Now obviously I'll get the story from guys here of people who grew up poor but managed to have such a great college experience anyways but that is the exception to the norm and generally rare, at least in the USA.
If you are a poor kid or someone not rich and trying to improve your life, you're not going to try and stay in touch with a lot of your friends from the past as most will try to drag you down or envy your success.
That's the worst part of it, feeling left out, knowing that a certain group of kids are having the life you want to have but they won't let you have it.
You're at the mercy of your parents, for the most part.
People will claim that it is not true after high school but for most, it does carry over on to college and can help you. A lot of the brothers in my house had their parents paying for their dues and their spring breaks, this is common in Greek Life, other kids were not so lucky.
If you had cool parents that did their job right, were wealthy, and put you in the best circumstances growing up (good high school, good neighborhood, paid for your college, let you decide your own path when you got there, and let you grow), then your youth should be amazing. If you weren't so fortunate, then you're mostly SOL.
I have known guys who had to deal with overbearing helicopter parents, abusive parents, and parents that purposefully set them up to fail. Some of these guys ended up moving back home after college where they were going through hell before finally breaking free and experiencing life. All of these guys had unhappy youths and spent their teens as well as a good part of their 20s breaking free to where they could become independent.
I know life is unfair but it's okay, there is a blessing in this.
That anger and hunger from missing out, you're one of the many guys feeling it. You will work hard, I am sure you will. Many of you are blessed to have this sub and you will no doubt be aware of the dangers society presents.
Best of all, you will keep on improving and pushing to be great while a good number of the privileged kids get jaded. While a lot of them marry by the age of 25, your life will really begin and you might be with a different woman every weekend. You will remember this pain, this hell, and you will keep on pushing to be great.
I won't promise that you'll rival some guy in a top tier frat at a top 10 party school but it will definitely get better for you as you keep developing yourself and truck through these circumstances.
Many of the spoiled kids will run away from the age of 25, knowing it's all hell from that point on, you will welcome the age of 25 with open arms.
The struggles you faced due to the deck life has handed you, if you truly grow from them, will make you better equip to deal with what comes when you hit the real world.
The spoiled kids who had it all handed to them, they will cry about how terrible life is after college, you will find a way to enjoy it because you're good at dealing with difficult situations since you were born in them (in b4 bane reference).
So keep your head up.
Truck through it, keep working, keep pushing, and know that it is normal for life to suck in your teens and early 20s unless you're a hot girl or from a well off family.