Red Pill TheoryBeware Male Shit Tests (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Senior Contributordeepthrill

This will be a short post, straight to the point.

Shit tests from women are neither good nor bad. They are simply to test your fitness. They try to poke holes in your demeanor to test if you're as strong as you're portraying. They are testing your evolutionary fitness. Simply an amoral truth.

A corollary that I've noticed is that the more you change as a person, the more shit-tests you'll get from men. That's right. Now obviously it's not sexual in nature, but the underlying concept is the same.

This pertains to the majority of the plugged in men who are weak (it does not apply to other men striving to reach their own peak potential).

They see you as different. They may have known you earlier when you were younger and softer, and they may have even liked you better before (probably because they could walk all over you easier).

But if they see you changed, if they see you get serious about your diet or career or lifting regimen, they will try to poke holes in your demeanor. They will challenge you not because they want you to be better, but because they want to see if you're pretending.

They wish you were still soft inside, and don't want to believe someone could change at their core. They might try to "bring you down to their level", the most important part of which is to "bring you down".

Never forget that you're on your journey to reaching your peak potential. Other men may shit test you to poke holes in your strength, to really see if you've changed.

Recognize what they're doing, immediately cut them out of your life, and use it as a filter to see who actually has the balls to join you on the journey of extreme self-improvement.


@deeperthrill, www.deepthrill.com

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (10 children)

What you are describing is a well-known phenomenon called "crab bucket mentality".

People hate being reminded of their own faults, laziness, and lack of success when one of their own breaks free of the mold and starts to find successes beyond that of the social group/peers.

[–]CommanderT 252 points253 points  (21 children)

I've discovered this to be true. Once I started to work on myself, I found my "friends" constantly disrespecting me and trying to poke holes in the new direction I was going. These were guys I grew up with and considered to be like brothers. It was a hard decision to cut them out, but the right one.

[–][deleted] 140 points141 points  (7 children)

The look on their face when you're flirting with hot chicks in front of them. Hot chicks neither one of you could have even said hi to 6 months ago. That look of pure jealousy... I can't think of a stronger indication of self development and progress.

[–]noobonyoutube_ 21 points22 points  (5 children)

On another note, I'm in football right now and a lot of the naturally fit guys are spending a lot of energy making fun of me and putting me down because I'm working hard and getting on their level. Those who are your equals will try to bring you back down, and those above you will try to keep you down. Just find other Red Pilled men and stay strong

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Only those who are threatened by you will try and bring you down. Those that have had to work for their success aren't threatened. Why? Because if they're truly successful they've had to embrace the grind. Embracing the grind is where true men find purpose and there is no reason to turn another man away from his purpose. It's the ones who were naturally gifted, they're threatened because they fear losing somthing they have no idea how to acquire on their own.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally agree.

Honestly successful men are not inclined to act like bitches to other men who just want to make their way in life.

The successful guys I follow on Twitter, podcasts, etc., are very down to earth and really understand what it's like.

[–]noobonyoutube_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, that's what I was trying to say, but you said it better. Right now it's off season and it's all the juniors moving up for next season, and the juniors/sophomores who've been on varsity since day 1, and you can guess who's coming to respect me and who's trying to put me down

[–]JFMX1996 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Man, the fuckin' football players. I remember those cucks. When they hang out in packs they'll act real alpha, but alone, they're as beta as it gets.

Now there's always that really chill football player that's sort of the outlier, often times there'll be a few of them on the team...you know, the more modest ones that are more laid back and cool to talk to. Those are the cool ones.

Remember when I started getting really in shape, I was getting teased by all of them. Eventually football season ended, and many of them went to wrestling. I'd gone in with only experience in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and started handing their asses to them. Not only that but in practices I would be leading them.

The trick is to use that annoyance you have of them as motivation in the gym, pushes you to be way better than any of them. When you're squatting a new weight, picture the other guy getting 5 reps with it, instantly you'll feel the heated rage to get 6 reps.

Working up, you'll eventually pass them all up and be more in shape than all of them. It's a story I see repeating not just with me but all across now. I graduated high school in 2015 but love to see the phenomenon of the unpopular kid getting in shape and leaving the naturally athletic kids in the dust, completely humbled.

Keep it up man, only use it as fuel and you'll do great.

[–]noobonyoutube_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I do, I don't expect I'll pass them up by the time the season starts, but I do think I'll be playing in the games against shitty teams. I made excuses for 3 seasons but this is varsity football, I want this real bad. I've got plenty of fuel, all that's left is to burn it before summer training camp

[–]1CoupDeGrace22 54 points55 points  (5 children)

You must remember that in essence,you are CLIMBING. As you climb,you either leave people behind or remain at their level. That's the nature of it.

Now if you are deadset that you MUST keep these people in your life,then wear your mask more often and brush up your machiavelli gifts.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep. I made a decision after high school (shit school in a poor state) to go away to college, work hard, get a good job, etc. You have to downplay everything whenever you hang out with those people 'left behind' and you will hear excuses or backhanded comments all the time. Just have to laugh it off or cut friends if they are toxic

When you are in a position of 'power' ie higher than they are you can't 'punch down' without looking like a shithead

[–]Scandinavianredpill -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

I dont agree with this, you should not ever tell yourself you are somehow better than your peers because of choices you make or improvements to yourself. keep respecting your peers, eventually they will respect that you have infact grown. the dynamic of your relationship will change and of course it might ruin it if you can no longer be exploited, but most friendsships can endure it.

[–]Philletto 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The thing is they aren't actually peers if you make choices and improvements they don't aspire to or make themselves. I have no peers but there are people I greatly admire and respect and many who respect me. Peers only exist if you want to be defined by other people.

[–]Scandinavianredpill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously Dgaf about People that want to keep you in a certain role regardless of your personal change. however most often it's decent people that just behave like human animals. they test you a bit before they accept the new you. If you want to be a natural and considered leader of any sorts id recommend you respect the people you lead. thats what works for me atleast.

[–]cashan0va_007 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Knew these dudes since diapers

oh well, I guess shit has changed

Fabolous the soul tape vol 2

[–]Toker95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here my friend, never looked back

[–]Philletto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I left a bad job situation and found the people I worked with despised me for getting a better job. Learnt from that to never bother with chitchat to grease the wheels of job place interaction.

[–]wataDs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a friend whom I wouldn't say "pokes holes" per se, more is in competition as I've excelled and surpassed him. His competition and demeanor was actually one of the driving forces behind me lifting dedicated for 2 years once upon a time.

At what point, for you, did their shit tests become a cut-them-out-of-your-life offense?

[–]rayyaal 120 points121 points  (21 children)

Friend:"Lmao dude was that a neg??" [In-front of the chick I was approaching? Really?] Me: "..."

Friend:"Haha he's on the 'eat nothing' diet" [Grilled chicken and beans are nothing? Nah gummie bears are better right] Me:"Stay fat, man"

Friend:"Haha dude at least I know my girl isn't a slut" [You've had the same fat pussy once a week for 3 years and you're 24] Me:"Keep up the good work"

Same guy tends to shy away when women or other dudes compliment me on how I look etc. The Jello-Bros are easy to spot once you're on the other side. The dude gave up after a few years of being around me post-change. It's just that during the transition he was very jealous.

The Tru-Bros are the ones who pat you on the back and say - out loud - "Man you're looking great - wish I could do that" or "keep it up homie you got this" and reach out for help when they feel they need it.

[–]mexaboy points points [recovered]

True bros will also give you shit if you relapse bad habits.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This. When I got fat in college my bros were the close to tell me about it (in joking fashion). Helped me get back in shape. Good friends tell hard truths

[–]WillyFistergasch points points [recovered]

"Nah, I only neg blondes/brunettes"

"I eat pussy sometimes"

"I'm sure I can change that"

Everyone of them with laugh and huge smile. Just take it in stride, abundance mentality isn't exclusive to women.

[–]FleetingFox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, but we (people) also give each other shit because we think we can take it. It's called playful banter. Grow a fucking spine.

[–]LymanRP 92 points93 points  (8 children)

Great post. I'll also add that you should see it as a positive sign that people begin to shit test you... it means you're improving and the gains have become noticeable.

Recognize what they're doing, immediately cut them out of your life, and use it as a filter to see who actually has the balls to join you on the journey of extreme self-improvement.

Couldn't agree more. Self-improvement helps to identify those friends you want to keep around vs. those that are not positive influences. The friends you'll want to keep around are those that are supportive of your improvement, or want to follow in your example. E.g. the friend that also starts a gym routine or wants to lift with you, or who also works out and swaps advice with you.

They wish you were still soft inside, and don't want to believe someone could change at their core. They might try to "bring you down to their level", the most important part of which is to "bring you down".

These negative influences are the 'crabs in the barrel' that Rollo speaks of in The Rational Male that will try to pull you back down.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (5 children)

So true. If you ditch hoes who try to bring you down and don't get the message that no, it won't be tolerated, but you keep bros doing the EXACT SAME THING, what are you exactly?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children)

In my experience male friends who bring me down have a much larger negative impact on my life. This is because I share more about myself , my dreams, aspirations etc. To have a person you share these things with try and sabotage you is much worse than some girl you don't share your deeper thoughts with.

[–]1v1mebruh 11 points12 points  (0 children)

red_reality giving some red reality

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yup, they are much more dangerous.

[–]vagbutters 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Men shouldn't expect true loyalty from women, only from other men. This is why it hurts so much more when people you called your friends betray you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]vagbutters 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great post. I'll also add that you should see it as a positive sign that people begin to shit test you... it means you're improving and the gains have become noticeable.

I still get this from some acquaintances, though nothing was as bad as when I first lost weight in college. I lost over 100 pounds over the course of 1.5 years, I think, and during the entirety of that time I had "friends" and family members putting me down, but in a subtle way. They wouldn't outright say "stop going to the gym, omg you're eating healthy!" Instead they'd attack me about other shit that I was genuinely trying hard at, e.g. balancing school while trying to diet+ work out, trying to study for my MCATs at the time, etc.

[–]David_029_Tredecies 3 points4 points  (0 children)

These negative influences are the 'crabs in the barrel' that Rollo speaks of in The Rational Male that will try to pull you back down.

...Or, in the Philippine bad influence or bad stereotype, it's called "Crab Mentality."

[–]NihilistMonkey 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Anyone who is serious about swallowing the pill and making real change in their lives will have to cut out most of their friends as they make that change. It's not malicious, but your friends are your friends because of common interests and shit. If you're literally changing who you are and becoming a different person, it stands to reason that your friends may not like the new you for whatever reason. They have an idea of who "you" are in their head and you are testing their beliefs by hitting the gym and banging chicks instead of smoking weed and playing Street fighter with them or whatever you did with your sad life before swallowing the pill. It's the same reason why we say to give up on that oneitis. The more time you spend with people the more hard-coded their script for how you should be behaving is. Your friends will always see you the way you used to be and so will that chick who didn't want to bang you two years ago.

Mobile formatting

[–]Aaren_Augustine 59 points60 points  (7 children)

One guy at work shit tested me hard. He looked like Ken from Barbie. Come to find out he was trying to vet me for his wife. Dude likes to watch as guys fuck the shit out of his wife. He told me to stop doing so many squats and deadlifts because it will make my ass look fat.

I laughed.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children)

Actually I've been approached by several swinger couples when I'm out with a girl.

They are pretty fucking sneaky.

A couple times I didn't realize it until her and I talked about it the next day then it was like....Oh. wow.

[–]obama_loves_nsa 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Similar situation. I caved and joined. Then she brought out a dildo and asked if she could touch me with it. I just quickly finished and left.

Never again guys. No more degeneracy for me.

[–]Docbear64 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Scared Straight : Swinger edition lol

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 59 points60 points  (37 children)

In agreement here.

All my friends who got married in their early to mid twenties... are miserable. You can just tell. I can see the envy from their eyes when they see me, a successful single man not chained to a woman, lifting and in shape, low body fat %, living by myself in my own apartment, free to do whatever the fuck I want, when I want.

They give me a hard time for it. It's because they wish they were in my position, not because they actually think my lifestyle is wrong.

[–]testmypatience 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's not a shit test. That is people disagreeing with you and asserting their perspective as they don't agree that what you are currently doing actually provides happiness and think you are making a big mistake.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (23 children)

I have a friend who is extremely succesful has a child and a wife. He has said having a family and a career is sacrificing your me time. So it's not that it necessarily means they are bitter but even if they are achieving their shit the one thing they can't have is time alone in an apartment. But yeah it's not like this friend of mine does petty things like that, but anyway he has achieved and broken far beyond what was expected of him and despite being wealthy is a good down to earth guy.

[–]1SeemedGood 3 points4 points  (22 children)

despite being wealthy is a good down to earth guy.

WTF? As if being wealthy would make you otherwise.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (21 children)

Yeah it's a common phenomena especially so when it's self made wealth. Why are you acting if it's somehow strange?

[–]1SeemedGood 2 points3 points  (20 children)

Yeah it's a common phenomena especially so when it's self made wealth.

This is just garbage. People are people, rich or poor. Wealthy guys are no more or less likely to be "down-to-earth" or "good guys" than any other type of guy.

The idea that those with wealth are somehow "less" down-to-earth, or not as frequently "good guys" is simply demagogued class based collectivism, and thus demonstrative of limited skills of either observation or logical construction.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (16 children)

It's a common thing that once someone gets rich they change. It's not an idea it's just something that happens regardless of what you think. Though it seems you've completely missed the point.

[–]hellothrowawayayay 2 points3 points  (11 children)

It's a common thing that once someone gets rich they change. It's not an idea it's just something that happens regardless of what you think. Though it seems you've completely missed the point.

Very common perspective from people who've never experienced success, to make themselves feel better about their lack of success. Exactly the crab bucket mentality this thread speaks of.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children)

Lol I just told your sorry ass about a wildly succesful friend of mine that hasn't changed. None of what you said applies to me.

What a useless comment. Which is probably why you are using a throwaway.

[–]hellothrowawayayay -1 points0 points  (9 children)

Lol I just told your sorry ass about a wildly succesful friend of mine that hasn't changed. None of what you said applies to me. What a useless comment. Which is probably why you are using a throwaway.

What??? Not talking about your wildly "succesful" friend, talking about your lack of success, and how you and many like you internalize it with bitterness when you see others obtain something you desire but lack. I'd suggest you read up on Nietzsche's ideas about envy.

And nice, resorting to ad hominem. This is my main and only account, thanks.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (8 children)

You know nothing about me and here you are screaming about my "lack" of success. I have no bitterness towards my friends achieving I'm happy for them. Trying so hard to make me something I'm not, lol you are desperate dude. You are one of those guys that can't take the lesson but have to hang on to some minor detail that doesn't even exist and have to argue it.

And yeah my "wildly" succesful friend is wildly succesful, he was making a great salary but now he is making top 100 salary in the country.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

That is by definition a blue pill mentality

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It's blue pill to recognize something that happens? Ok buddy, you keep posting your zero worth comments.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Its the same loser mentality of "the jock that gets the girl MUST be an asshole".

Jealous much?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not lol. Trying to make me negative so hard. I'm happy for him. I'm not envious of achievement of my friends, especialy not money. Money didn't solve my problems.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If you think being rich makes you an asshole you still need time on this sub. Frankly, it's another lie spoonfed to people since birth. That being poor or low value makes you morally superior and virtuous.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never said that... You are reflecting your own assumptions and meanings into what I wrote. I wrote it's common for people to change when they come into a lot of wealth. You made it to "Everyone that comes rich changes" in your head and now you are posting here some sorry ass "so blue pill" comments worth nothing.

Also I've said nothing about how being poor is. Again you reflecting your own meanings onto my writings.

[–]RedDeadCred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed, it's often the opposite where wealthy people work harder, sacrifice more, and contribute more than poor people.

[–]354999556 points points [recovered]

Why are young Americans marrying so young? I can't believe a majority of them do it so they can have sex.

[–]1SeemedGood 2 points3 points  (2 children)

These days you need to if you want to find a woman whose n-count isn't above 10 (or maybe even 20). If you're not marrying young then you're marrying a woman who will never be able to pair bond effectively unless she's Mormon, Baha'i, etc..

[–]354999556 points points [recovered]

Ok, sure ... but why are YOU marrying at the same age as HER? If that's prio 1, why aren't you marrying a 20 something at say 30?

[–]asotranq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Equality doesn't factor in things like basic biology

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're divorcing insanely fast which is why you don't see them

[–]thewrightstuff88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Part of it is culture too. I'm Indian so a good number of couples get married by 25-26, especially if they are out of med school but just before residency because they are going to be busy as hell during that phase and most likely won't have time. Either that or parents, who themselves were married at a young age so it "feels" wrong for their kids not to do the same so the pressure increases.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Of course they give me a hard time for it too.

But then again my friends would give me a hard time for literally anything. And I do them too.

Because guys like bullshitting and fucking with each other.

Male shit tests are called being friends.

[–]bteh 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I bet they try to talk you into how cool relationships are, maybe try to set you up with, "one of their cute friends", who is actually some mediocre girl who the wife works with whose biological clock is ticking down.

They know they're miserable but want someone to share in their misery.

Such is life.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hahaha so true. If I had a dime for every post wall woman who has been introduced to me in a clear non-subtle attempt to try and get me to be interested in her....

The thing is, I am not an ugly dude. I view it as an insult when they do this to me. If I really wanted to be in a relationship, I could easily be in one, and with a woman in her peak, not past the wall.

[–]excal10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you have control and other people don't, they have a problem with your control and autonomy.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I find generally that women are pleased when I pass their shit test. They have the same look that you do when staring at a woman's nice ass.

Men aren't so pleased when I crush their little fitness test. They swallow hard, stare at the floor and their posture melts as they take their assigned (lower) place in the pecking order.

Sometimes, not often, I'll pass a dudes shit test and he laughs with me. This type of guy is worth befriending

[–]Endorsed ContributorReddJive 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was a company commander in the army.

Had a lieutenant come in. Been in the army all of about 5 minutes. After a few days I was beginning to suspect he was having problems with his sergeants.

Talked to my first sergeant. Sure nuff. They weren't respecting him.

I pulled him into my office. I told him these guys are killers. They've seen the elephant. They will test you. They will poke you in the chest. Every time.

Poke back. They'll respect you if you do.

Next day he did. Gave as good as got. Kid turned out to be pretty damn good LT.

Male. Female.

Don't put up with shit.

[–]Hakametal 25 points26 points  (10 children)

Can confoirm 100%. I work in a bar with lots of conserative, old school men coming in. I'm a bit of a pretty boy and I've never been shit-tested on this level in my life... even compared to women.

I might write a post about this... but I encourage every young man to work in a bar for at least a year. you will build serious Frame, understand people a lot more, and see real old school masculinity.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Alright, close up the thread guys. We have pretty boy confoirmation

[–]Hakametal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Funnily enough, this is exactly the shit I get haha

[–]grachuss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not just "A Bar," but multiple nightspots.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Different generations for sure. If you have the well done hair and nice style you will get shit on by a lot of (usually lower value) people. Some are in good fun, some are just pint up jealousy. Learning to roll with it is for the best

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes I would read your post. I wanted to work in a bar but I believe I would have to work my way up... so it would be interesting to hear your story.

[–]HotTeen69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What kinda shit would they say?

[–]HeSpeakz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is there a height requirement to work as a bartender?

[–]Mostass 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As long as customers can see you from behind the bar you're fine.

[–]dRePe_Thill 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Had this thought the other day actually, since making changes I was surprised that this could come from males, but sound advice to cut them out when possible.

I think where there could be difficulty is cutting these men out in the workforce, social circle or mutual hobbies/clubs. What are your thoughts on handling the situation then?

[–]hiaf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know about cutting them out. Shit, I still hang out with my old friends who recognize RP traits when it comes to women but still do loser things.

These guys knew you before you became RP, their jealousy isn't necessarily bad. The things that they say to "bring you down to their level" are just depressed rationalizations externalizing. This is why this sub is important, to identify information and act accordingly.

Maintaining frame is key, always. When they give you shit for changing up your habits then that is your opportunity to inform them in a positive way about growth. Cutting people out will leave you isolated and distanced, of course it's important to build new friendships but disconnecting some friends (unless they are toxic) is renouncing to what makes a man's success valuable. Advice is most valuable coming from someone who has overcome obstacles or succeeded greatly.


When it comes to the social aspects of work/study life, the best way is to direct your words to them in such a way that projects your indifference to them. Basic communication, no getting on their good side or whatever. Abundance is key, there are multitudes of people who value you, so if everyone likes this one guy and he doesn't like you; you are in a position to say fuck them. Obviously this doesn't mean become antisocial, but simply treat the guy like an inferior regardless of his superiority. -- Talk to them like you don't like them or care about them and are trying to gauge their brightness to see if they have any redeeming qualities.

Most of the time, you will find common ground and then some people are not so bad. If you really dislike someone because of their unnecessary bullshit tests, avoid them. The lack of interaction from someone will make them try to get you to like them, even if you eventually do, show indifference and reward them when they treat you nicely. In the end, it is the human mind, women gauge you to see how confident you are and men will too. Not too different, in fact, with men you can be dirtier and more offensive than with women.

[–]blackedoutfast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

haters are good. if you've got haters, you know you're doing something right.

OP is correct about jealous males trying to use shit-tests, but in my experience there is a slightly different cause for getting shit-test type stuff from other men. getting shit-tests from guys you've left behind but it's far more common to see it coming from bluepill guys trying to whiteknight you. guys who might have just met you and aren't basing it on seeing your improvement.

a lot of bluepill guys will try to jab at you not just to test your resolve or to bring you down, they are trying to play the white knight and make themselves look better. but the bluepill point of view is so fucked up and distorted that it comes out as a shit-test. or just a straight up redpill compliment.

so for example you may have a bluepill male-feminist type guy orbiting a girl you are talking to. this orbiter wants to fuck this girl and wants to cockblock you. he realizes that you are masculine alpha fucker, but the bluepill has distorted his understanding of reality so much that he sees this as a weakness. so he will say something really gay like "did you even see that trump video? so disgusting, i respect women" and then smirk thinking he has scored points with m'lady (whose gash is now completely dry).

again the best response is to agree and amplify. you could make a pussy grabbing joke or whatever. but just be aware that you can and will get shit-tested by guys who you may have just met, not just old friends from your pre-RP days

[–]darkmoon09 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But if they see you changed, if they see you get serious about your diet or career or lifting regimen, they will try to poke holes in your demeanor. They will challenge you not because they want you to be better, but because they want to see if you're pretending.

This means that they were never your "friends" to begin with. A true friend doesn't react to your improvement like that, a true friend says "Wow man, you've really made some huge changes recently and you seem to be doing great, that's awesome bro, I'm happy for you."

True friends are hard to come by.

[–]BluePillTurningRed 19 points20 points  (3 children)

This has all been happening to me till I decided to stop ignoring it once it came from a closer friend.

Story: I hang out with him and another friend (all the same age), and they meet up 3 other people we know that were from a grade younger than us. They all talk on a groupchat on whats app and as soon as I got there, the 3 younger guys knew about personal things I thought my close friend wouldn't disclose.

Luckily i was pretty tipsy at the time so I handled it pretty well when they were poking at me with the L's I've been taking in life. I didn't sweat it and they ended up being pissed cause they couldn't phase me and ended up switching things around on them. Apparently one of them was pissed cause I asked about his "girlfriend" who he is with for 4 months and never had sex with then proceeded to pat him on the back and be like "You'll get it some day man, dw" in-front of all of them lol.

Overall, this isnt the first time when it came to hanging out in a group. It's some petty feminine type shit but I honestly thought the close friend I had moved on from shit like that. Clearly they didn't.

At the end of the day, there are no such things as friends (At least when it comes to disclosing your L's in life). The idea is to NEVER DO IT (only exception is your close family). Internalise that shit and project it into movement, don't broadcast shit. I'm already deep in some forever pre-conceived circle jerk roasting because I did the opposite.

My past reputation will come to haunt me with the silly things I did. I don't forget it, I own up to it, accept and embrace the fact that I still have the ability to change (which most people, EVEN your close friends and family will come to hate).It's much easier and comforting for them and their egos to see you being the same you, you were x amount of years ago.

Hopefully there can be a future topic made about changing your reputation around peers efficiently.

[–]electricspresident 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Would really love a future post on this. Personally I feel it takes a strong combination of absolute frame/confidence with an even greater machiaveillian skill to pull it off but from some other places I've read the one thing you must have to negate the past, make the transition and solidify the new persona/reputation of yours is, power.

[–]1redpillthrowaway34 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with your post, except for one point:

They may have known you when you were younger and softer, and they may have ever liked you better before (probably because they could walk all over you easier).

I would argue that they like you more when you learn how to hold frame. They will certainly respect you more, anyway. We like leaders.

We don't really like the people we can walk all over. We find them useful, and we make them our bitches, but we don't really like them.

Also, I wouldn't necessarily cut them out of your life. Depending on the severity of the transgression, you can keep them as your friends. As long as you pass their shit tests, you have nothing to fear. In fact, I appreciate a little challenge from my fellow men.

Cutting them out of your life is not necessary unless they are naturally toxic people.

[–]throw17453 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Recognize what they're doing, immediately cut them out of your life, and use it as a filter to see who actually has the balls to join you on the journey of extreme self-improvement.

This is an overreaction in my view. Unless they are constantly trying to bring you down, and are providing no value in your life, then cutting them off isnt needed.

If they are poking holes or trying to undermine, laugh it off, reflect it back to them, look them in the eye and tell them to fuck off, completely ignore them, whatever.

Also an initial reaction may be as you described, but if you ignore or shrug off whatever emotional or negative bullshit they are trying to throw your way, and just keep doing you. Eventually you may serve as an example to them to improve or change themselves.

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill[S] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

This is an overreaction in my view. Unless they are constantly trying to bring you down, and are providing no value in your life, then cutting them off isnt needed.

That's fine, we may respectfully agree to disagree on this point. I view my time as so extremely valuable (narcissistic, selfish, self-absorbed, asshole, superiority complex, blah blah blah modern psychiatry terms, etc.), but honestly I have a very very high threshold of who I spend time interacting with.

That threshold is up to each man individually, and I fully respect your opinion and stoic ability to be able to just laugh off those who sometimes undermine you.

Just different tolerance thresholds I suppose.

To each their own, and thanks for bringing up a different opinion and backing it up with examples of how you'd handle the situation instead of just blindly attacking my opinion.

It's good the community gets to see two sides of a situation and rationally dissect it for their own benefit.

[–]BluePillTurningRed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was told that if you ever had to cut off friends, you had to be diplomatic about it because they can feel hurt or anger (usually will, esp if done blatantly) and could sabotage you if there is any dirt they have on you. You don't HAVE to but it would probably be the best route to take if they were good to you in the past.

[–]throw17453 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just different tolerance thresholds I suppose.

You're right with this I think. Alot of it is down to the situation, relationship with the person, and how you react to it.

There's little that phases me, and it's usually easier just to set a boundry than cut someone out. Usually cut outs are reserved for people who cross a line, or bring no value. However, as you say, where that line is drawn is up to the individual.

Also as an aside for you to put this in dismissive terms

(narcissistic, selfish, self-absorbed, asshole, superiority complex, blah blah blah modern psychiatry terms, etc.)

Means they apply strongly, which would explain your stance.

[–]Barvazon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And why would I keep people such as these in my life?

[–]redolas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I study them, learn from them, get invited to parties by them. They try to screw with my head, I try to use it for my benefit. Keep them at arm's length though. They've lost my trust.

[–]1randomperson123321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A truthfully valid point. Watch as the "friends", that you were going quite far in order to please in the past, with small to no appreciation and/or affection returned from their part start becoming aggressive, hostile, envious and jealous as you become a better man.

Watch them and make it one of your goals to never become like them, for the more resources you spend for others, the less resources you have for yourself. Not to mention that you will never be free having such a petty mindset.

[–]DadOnDabs 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'll write a full field report at some point but I literally turned some dude who thought he was the shit making big money and talked down to me constantly into a little bitch. He would throw little tests my way to see if he could get me competing with him and I ignored them or flipped them. Threw subtle comments out the whole time to eat away at him. Usually the most talkative guy in the room and he stfu real quick.

[–]Yankee_Fever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Subtle comments are the best way to communicate to onlookers that dude is a bitch.

Women are very perceptive to things like that

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why cut them out of your life if they aren't maliciously trying to hurt you? lol

Just keep frame and don't apologise for shit. Haters will hate. Who cares. Let them.

[–]egm03 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What do you do when this type of shit testing comes from your father?

[–]Jackrabbit710 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My family started first, then boss at work, then friends. They all gave up in the end when the results started coming in

[–]testmypatience 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same thing you do with a boss but a bit more direct because your dad can't fire you. Respect but assertive when nessesary and ignore when it doesn't seem to matter. Backpeddling is NOT what you do. Stand ground with confidence or gain ground with assertiveness.

As an inventor from a young age and with an engineering father, I was always bieng told what I was doing wasn't going to work. I disagreed and just went about building things anyway. At one point was told to drive a certain way and I was older than 18. So I asked him if he wanted to drive and when he said yes I told him no that there was no way. Then said if you don't like it get out. So he got out and I drove away. Now he respects things when I say things and tends to not attack anything I say or do because he knows I don't stand for that shit. I'll be kind until you fuck with me then you get a kind warning and then a calm but assertive action.

It all really depends on the situation. You don't want to overreact and you don't want to be a pushover. Just know what battles matter and which ones are just verbal whining.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Without examples I cant see what youre getting at exactly. Where I grew up, people got their kicks from making fun of other people and everyone got their turn.

[–]JunKunX points points [recovered]

Any way to handle these people?

For example, today I didn't get ahold of what was happening in class. Said "I have no idea what's going on" to my friends. One goes "Because you're stupid." I ignored it. Then when he made a similar remark again, I went "Bro, are you alright? So aggressive, damn." And shut him down. But then he went "Can't take a joke?" And the friend in between just said "Ladies, relax." and it ended there.

[–]Yankee_Fever -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well I guess your mom only fucks stupid dudes then

[–]atraw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now we are getting somewhere. Redpill is not about women, it is about life and your role in society.

[–]Katavasis 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I get where you are coming from,but shit-talking is part of how men communicate.

We thrive when there's competition.

Of course,one should be able to tell the difference between malicious attack at your identity and friendly banter.

For the young kids though,i would not cut off friends of 20+ years so easily.If something is bothering you,you can straight up tell them and since they are not women lacking logic,they will respond.

If not,then you do cut them off.

A lot more has to be said about friendship.I am just offering a different perspecitve,that myself i am not sure if it's correct.

[–]The_M0rning_Star 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! In a dominance based society, your worth is always being tested from all sides. After all, if you are alpha, other men as well as women must submit to you, yes? When a beta tests an alpha, he's seeing if you're in a position that will allow him to beat you and become the alpha.

That being said, I don't understand the fear of shit tests, I fucking love them. All that rage that builds up inside you from having to live in polite society? When someone tests you, it's basically permission to unleash that. You get to say all those clever things that you cant say without being considered rude. Like a free pass. To many shit tests however, means you should cut that person out of your life the human version of "killing your adversary".

[–]looc22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recognize what they're doing, immediately cut them out of your life

If I like the person I usually invite them to the gym with me or something, offer to bring other people up with you. If they say no or make excuses you might as well forget it though.

[–]SargentHaztagaspacho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was sort of like a punch in the gut when you realized the ones you could trust like family had this side to them. TBH, I was bummed out. Even might go as far to say it hurt.

[–]kevinxv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the type of shit that keeps me subscribed.

[–]Praecipuus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They will challenge you not because they want you to be better, but because they want to see if you're pretending.

Many times they'll do it only to reassure themselves they're still better than you.

[–]Rugby11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Needed this this at the moment.

[–]cantFindValidNam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life is a competition and generally speaking people don't like it when you're ahead of them. This is for me one of the most important RP lessons. They'll try to break you or take advantage of you and this is one reason why a strong frame is critical and why it's a bad idea to seek validation in others.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

[–]mcavvacm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Said it before but "friends" who do this aren't actually friends.

My friends encouraged changing, working out and eating better when I started.

Family was resistant at first though but not anymore.

[–]The_Valuer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the reason why when you can be totally fine with complimenting and be cool with other men accomplishments and you have the ability to make them feel good about themselves - it is a strong indicator of yourself as a strong man. I have a theory that if you consciously make the effort to be cool when other guys state their accomplishments and also encourage other men in their fortune, you make yourself stronger because you only feel comfortable to say it when you acknowledge your faculties of success and your skills when your friends are successful. so fake it till you make it. it is a muscle to work on even though I wouldn't recommend to do it in advance only when your friends say that it went good to them the other day. don't compliment when not needed.

[–]crx1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Extremely important topic and deserves to be covered in more detail here on TRP. Our male-to-male interactions are a critical part of our lives and can leave us guessing, sometimes as much as our interactions with women.

[–]pizzae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the examples you have posted, thanks for elaborating on this!

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorBlacklabellogics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the more insidious shit-tests in the areas of diet, lifting and work is the "You have made so much progress, be careful so you don't burn out" variant. Very common from family/close friends.

[–]testmypatience 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Please give some examples of male shit tests. Trying to figure out what you mean.

I'll respond to what I think you may be talking about, but please go ahead and answer if you have some examples.

I think what some people think are shit tests are just people pushing their luck to see how much ground they have or can have. This happens in business, this happens in stores, and practically any situation that is possible.

How you react to a situation seems very universal.

What you do as a reaction matters.

  • You can backpedal your position.

  • You can act aggressive.

  • You can be assertive.

  • You can be a pushover in your position.

  • Etc.

You can do many more actions that are the "what".

Those are actions however and doesn't tell enough story. That means not having the why.

  • You actually realized you messed up

  • You feel threatened of the consequences

  • Trying to gain ground

  • Etc.

[–]markpf73 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Diet, exercise, and wardrobe is where this happens first - make them cry in self loathing and move forward with your plan for personal greatness.

Later it will happen when you are making all of the right choices around your career and advancing within or starting something new.

[–]weballinHard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't it make more sense to nor cut them off and deal with them ?

[–]maniclurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take it as an opportunity to resolve to yourself not to behave like them. Learn to be a true friend to the people you value in your life.

[–]sickofallofyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just tell my friends if they keep talking shit I'll take them upstairs and make a woman out of them.

[–]1clon3man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a lot of ignorant people with bad advice, men or women. Filtering advice doesn't begin or end with jealous or skeptical men, it's everyone and for the rest of your life.

[–]Crotons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A couple years after graduating, I moved into an apartment with two friends from high school. These same friends knew me to be a soft and meek dude. I never knew I would experience such an onslaught of tests when they noticed me changing in front of them.

It started with small things like "Why are you acting like that?" and "Are you depressed?". While these weren't necessarily that bad, I had a hard time diffusing them because I was just starting to learn about shit tests.

As my frame became stronger, the tests became more severe. They changed into "Everyone from high school still thinks your the same awkward kid you always were." and "Are you really so insecure that you need to pretend to be a man?". Those two managed to crack my frame.

However, those two tests were such a good catalyst in the progression of my frame that I demolished every test they threw at me after that. Since they were clued into what was going on by my frame breaking too many times they knew that I was trying to change into something that they didn't like.

Cue: the nuclear option - complete silence. I guess I broke my friend or was teaching me a lesson. I don't know. He spent 4 months of regular contact with me without saying a word. That was the most peaceful 4 months of my life.

[–]Ontop1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I notice this when men comment on the way I dress. I'll get looks all day long from lady's and sideways comments from the guys. I love it.

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk about anyone else but i'm still soft inside, i'm human after all with a heart. the difference is deciding to only let close the people who won't twist the knife when it really matters. if someone you knew in the past tries to tear you down after seeing you become a better version of yourself, it's because they're garbage.

[–]johncrcf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Different people use different kind of shit tests. It is so obvious when you start recognizing them. If you agree that men and women shit test differently why not go even further and differentiate? From my own experience I notice how people started treating me when I embrace the dgaf attitude and abundance mentality. I knew that some would go after my confidence like hungry hiennas. But these people weren't any good friends. They were mostly acquintances of mine. But it is easier to deflect their shit rather than from people who actually know your weaknesses and personal stuff. I still get shit tested on a regular basis by the people I know the longest and they know me pretty well.

I agree that men can shit test you in numerous ways. I have a friend who's nickname is "Fishy". Yes as repulsive as it can sound it really reflects well on his personality. He didnt have a GF for several years, he was vey awkward, socially awkward although he had friends but all those friends were his childhood friends. He'd constantly act like an idiot in front of everybody but not in a good idgaf way. More like in a sad embarassing idgaf im a loser kind of way. And he used to shit test me a lot. Especially when I started wearing dreadlocks. He used to insult me as he felt I had insecurity about my looks (acne, no style etc.). I would always tell him to fuck off but now I know I was that good guy who got easily offended by idiots like him. He always tried everybody's patience. Always being rude and trolling his mates. Back in the day I used to hate him. But now he has changed. He stopped that bullshit. Because guess what? He finally got some. He has a decent GF (fucks knows how maybe one of them actually found his psychopath/sociopath qualities attractive). So now he's a different man. Doesnt give his shit to anyone. He became rather friendly and social. Which is kinda good but sad at the same time because I know how bitchy and insecure he was before.

Tl;dr a guy changed his shit testing attitude after getting laid. Point - shit testing can be part of your own insecurity.

On the other hand I have people who tended to laugh at me when I went full vegan for a year. No alcohol no smoking only organic food and no meat or dairy. At first my best friends used to troll me non stop but after a few weeks they saw my frame and determination to go through with this shit. And nobody gave me shit 6 months in. Novody said anything and everybody respected my choice. Then one day I had to go to Georgian mountains to a hard and dangerous expedition. I knew it would be pretty hard surviving that without meat or dairy. So I made a rational decision to start eating it because I could have faced serous health problems otherwise. Ofc all my friends gave me shit for a month. But i knew my reasons and i just ignored them nobody cares now. Neither do i. They were just breaking my balls.

It can also be that they envied me. But what kind of envy is that if they eat meat and i started eating meat again? Where do i get advantage over them? Or they get over me? Their opinion does not affect my health. Ofc its nice to rub it in my face that i failed my veganism but well, even if its true, i didnt gove a slightest fuck. And when you are such frame of mind. You dont care about nature of shit testing at all. You just deflect them like terminator deflects bullets.

And I also break balls when i see a potetial in someone: i just instinctively have a laugh at them (not too hard ofc.) just to see if they really know what they are doing. Sometimes shit testing really IS subconscious.

Tl;dr My friends gave me shit when i became vegan and after a year i started eating meat again - extensive shit testing again. Both times after a short period of time it stopped because i stuck to my word and got through. Nobody teases me about it anymore. Point - good friends break your balls when they wanna see if you are a man of your word. And if they wanna see you fail youll never know for sure. But if you have a strong frame, you dont care either way.

So i believe that there are many different ways of tests let alone by men. Some are envious attempts to bring down your spirit. The others are just friendly ball breaking. Some we dont even know we perform on others. The fact is there will always be people that will play their little Machiavelian mindgames on you. People whom you consider close or at least good because you want to see the world a peaceful and beautiful place. Just don't be that naive. Not everbody is laughing with you. But for the sake of it, pretend it is exactly like that. Holding frame gives you a chance to always appear equally good to your enemies and friends.

[–]SrPildoraRoja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find it difficult to handle. When you're starting to change but because of the nature of your job/duties you're frequenting the same places and people, you can feel their judgement. It's not like it's impossible to handle or anything, it's just that I'm aware of it and it kinda takes me out of the moment. Suddenly I'm aware of this dynamics and I'm out of "my zone". I think I still need to internalize a few things at a core level in order for this to not happen anymore

[–]This1sMyWorkAccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just experienced this today. I received a Fitbit Blaze for my birthday. So naturally I make an effort to take steps each hour to reach my goal of 12,000 steps in a day. It keeps me focused at work and healthy at the same time.

My co-workers are reminded how they are not lifting or exercising. The spare tire they keep inflating around their waist gets bigger every day as they wallow in doubt and anger.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you start eating clean and start lifting you will get this all. the. time. Especially when out with friends or at the office and the garbage food comes out. Try to start your own business and you will instantly see the true friends (that's awesome, let me know if I can help) and Beta tools (that's impossible, will never work)

You will also have other 'leaders' of their group being hostile to you in subtle ways (we are adults after all).

[–]JFMX1996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I strongly encourage anyone to:

  1. Get in shape and learn how to handle and defend yourself
  2. Learn how to roast and make the most savage comebacks in a condescending, sarcastic, effortless way.

Nothing funnier then when one of those dudes in the gym you knew from when you were beta comes to try to make you look bad when talking to a girl and utterly demolishing him with some witty comebacks after he tries to tease you so on. Make him look stupid, but don't get angry or emotional. Just like an obnoxious, bratty kindergarten aged step-child, tell him to fuck off and get back to talking to the girl. Haha.

[–]Eyeswears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldnt say it's necessary to cut out men from your life who shit test you. I may just be old-fashioned, but I thought men are supposed to bust each others' balls. It brings down fakers (good) and shows everyone who is full of shit who thinks he is a real deal (good). If you think your frame is big and strong from reading all little RP articles and posts but you're unwilling to be around guys who don't tolerate posturing and weakness, I don't think you're ready for the big leagues.

[–]FatStig points points [recovered]

Men who shit test are not men. They are emasculated bitches.

[–]Canadaismyhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is this- shitty advertising? Are you serious, sub?

[–]Frisky-Fox 0 points1 point  (1 child)

A couple of other interesting "shit" test men do is try and sleep with a girl as soon as possible. Often if they succeed too soon in the relationship (first night for instance) they typically loose interest in the relationship. Possibly as a test for coyness, and sexual reservation to prevent cuckolding.

Another test is that after seeing a woman for a while, a man will sometimes push a woman off onto other men, and then get disinterested in them if they take the offer. Another probable test for coyness.

Again, subconscious, but good to know for any RedPill ladies out there.

[–]Darth_Antonius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So would passing these be the same as passing a woman's shit tests,or should these be handled differently?

[–]sonicboomslang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These commenters got some fucked up friends.

[–]StoicBeard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy fuck the timing.

So i'm lifting in this 'fitness' gym where I have free access there because im doing them some work. Two years ago I was just a fuckarounditis guy and lifted weak ass weights and I weighted 152 pounds.

There was this high smv guy abs good looks nice car. He befriended me because I was soft and I could do him some video work for his portfolio and he used to tell me some of his females client that 'liked' me. (hb6 at most)

Now that I have way more work and I'm lifting 3 plate squats and 4 plate deadlift while i weight 185pounds his shit tests are all over the place.

Should I cut him off?

[–]anotherent -1 points0 points  (2 children)

AMOGS / TROLLZ = everywhere. Stay woke.

[–]testmypatience 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Stop saying woke. It is one of the dumbest things you could say.

[–]buibeans -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Be the better person. You don't have to cut those people out of your life, just forgive them for being who they are. And understand why they aren't the way they should be. Be genuinely nice and don't waste time with worthless people.

[–]GeorgeWallace1968 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

Punch the guy. In the dick.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

just cause you like touching dicks doesn't mean we all do mate