My personal journey from blue to red and back again. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Dildobagginsaa

//Edit// Way more attention than I was expecting. I wrote this on my phone sitting on the toilet at work so forgive its rushed nature.

There is already a metric shit ton of game theory on this forum and so many posts highlighting the specific nature of the things you asked for.

What I wanted to offer was an entertaining post that encapsulated the nuance and gray (purple) of the real world and how the journey to red pill is rocky, cliche, and messy.

That being said, shop talk at the bottom //

Picture me, 14 years old. I had Shaggy, unkempt, greasy hair to complement my oversized red flame and dragon button front shirt with Dorito stained jeans to match. I was mulling about the playground at school, staring at the ground with my hands tucked into my pockets and thinking about getting home to beat Sin on Final Fantasy X. I didn't really have friends and my parents were cold, distant, and my older brother was abusive. I felt alone in my own head and my thoughts were my escape and solace. In short, I was as broken and beta as 14 year old boys come.

Picture Sammie, the most attractive girl in school. I won't go into detail about her, just imagine our typical popular 15 year old girl eating up the attention of every pubescent teenage boy in school.

Now picture Sammie sauntering up to me on the playground.

"BetaBitch, will you go out with me?"

I was broken out of my own head. I stopped and looked up to see her standing in front of me with her long brown hair perfectly curled and her expensive hand picked clothes making this interaction look like one between a royal and a peasant. I was astonished. I had no words. I was so astonished, I failed to notice her large group of friends a few feet from us huddled together, pointing, and giggling.

"Uhh. Sure?"

I finally snapped out of it and noticed the group when they all broke down in a fit of laughter. Sammie, with a smirk on her face said,

"Sorry BetaBitch, it was just a dare"

She turned heel and walked away with a swagger as if she had done the world a service by putting me in my place.

I reflected on this moment for a long time. I was literally the most undesirable 14 year old boy in my world. These children found humor in my self worth being totally annihilated. It was like watching a lion pounce a chicken.


The next four years were a mess of bullying, failed classes, excessive eating, porn, video games, one suicide attempt, and a pity fuck with an equally greasy, undesirable red headed emo girl that then went around the school and told everybody I smelled bad and had a tiny dick.

I dropped out of high school and sat on my parents couch for 18 months putting 2800 hours into Skyrim (I played so much Skyrim I was selected as a beta tester for all upcoming DLC) and 800 into Battlefield 3 (1v1 me Ak74u). It was sleep, eat, game, porn, guitar, game, sleep, porn, sleep.


Something in me changed. It was as if my ancestors came from Valhalla and shoved a lightning bolt straight up my 300lb fat ass. I unplugged my console, signed up for adult education that day, and vowed to lose 100 lbs.

Over the next year, I ate 10oz of food per meal. I played no video games. I got my HS diploma. I walked every day. I learned to solo blues guitar. I watched every classic, thought provoking movie I could find and read every great novel I could get my hands on. I read The 48 Laws of Power. I read The Art of Seduction. I read How to Win Friends and Influence People (greatest self help book ever penned).

At the end of this year I was 205 pounds. I had learned how to dress. I had a fancy talent to show off to girls. I had a good job, a car, and a pocket full of money just waiting to be spent wooing girls on fancy dates to Olive Garden.

I was a changed man. I was no longer BetaBitch.

Enter BetaBux 2.0

I was 19 years old and and had 3 lays with fatties under my belt, so naturally I was ready to find the perfect, virgin, virtuous love of my life to have kids with and cook nice meals for and cuddle till we died holding each other in a bed of roses.

Enter Olivia. Olivia was a fit, funny, gorgeous Hispanic college student that I worked with. She was mine and I had a plan. She was an English major, so I was going to dress up in a suit every day and bring her a handwritten poem. *tips fedora

Strangely enough she actually loved my writing and my bizzare nature and we became great friends. My plan had worked, and in my mind I was only a few months of nice gestures away from giving her the most mediocre sex of her life and making her my wife. We texted all the time. We were best friends and she shared her secrets with me. I was in love.

Then the text came.

"Omg. I just met the most amazing guy in my math class. You'd love him!"

What? How did this happen? She was supposed to fall in love with me. Not some dude named Chad from her math class. I stayed up all night waiting for those texts that we had exchanged for so long. The long discussions on poetic motiff's were replaced with "Oh hey." and "Just with Chad :)" All my effort was gone in an instant. I was left confused and alone.


Then came Staff Sergeant Harr of the US Army. I met SSG Harr while he was talking to my little brother about joining the national guard. To save a long story, this recruiter saw in me a kid who was trying to find his way by wooing women. Harr would take me on long rides back and forth to the Unit HQ reveling me with tales of all the beautiful foreign women he had bedded all across the world. He even had a literal black book of names, dates, and physical descriptions of the 103 women he had slept with. He told me all about how women would just drop their drawers for a man in uniform. I was sold. More specifically, I was now property of Uncle Sam.

I buzzed my hair and trained hard and became lean and fit. I was a 6'1, stoic, strong 19 year old future soldier that still didnt have a fucking clue about women. I met Amanda at a party. Amanda was a tall, gorgeous, freshly 18 brunette with a perfect smile and DD tits. Her and I chatted off and on through the course of the party and eventually hugged and I went home. When I got home I sat down at my computer and looked her up on facebook immediately. There she was. Amanda PerfectTits. I stalked her profile for what seemed like an hour trying to formulate the perfect message.

"Hey, cool hat"

"Lol thanks. Youre hot ;)"

What the fuck? Women arent supposed to make the first move.

The next few months were a whirlwind romance of pretty much everything but sex. She was a virgin so she wasnt going to give that up. We never made it official because she knew I was leaving for basic training in a few months but we spent every waking moment together. About a month before I left she suddenly stopped being intimate with me. She would lightly kiss me when I got to see her and refuse any sort of sexual contact. It was a sudden and bizzare shift. One night I was texting her and she told me her and a girlfriend were going over to a friends house.

"Oh fun. Who's gonna be there"

A few hours later, the most defining text of my life came.

"It's just me and Chad Thundercock. Amber had to go home. We're just cuddling in his room ;)"

A winky face? A fucking winky face?

I threw my phone as hard as I could and it smashed into pieces against my basement concrete wall. I grabbed my car keys, got in my car, cranked the radio, and just started driving. Driving anywhere. Away from the pyscho nightmare that was women. The more I brooded the heavier my foot got.

6500 RPMS.

115 MPH

My head was filled with rage and I didnt care if I lived or died. I just needed to replace the pain with something. My angry late night cruise started to look less like a 19 year old in a car and started to look more like an Isle of Man qualifying lap. Anyhow, the deer in the road probably didnt see me coming but luckily I saw it just in time to swerve and hit it with the corner of my car. I managed to stay on the road long enough to get my speed down to a reasonable rate before I hit a razor sharp turn, slid off the road, and buried the nose of my car into a foot of loose dirt. It was quiet then. I switched my engine off and looked at myself to see if I was impaled, maimed or disfigured. Luckily for me and many future women, I was completely intact. I sat in the silence looking at a bent hood, my dark reflection, a tuft of deer hair wedged under the wiper blade, and a wall of dirt.


I decided in that moment I would never, ever again open my heart to a woman. By the time my car was pulled out of the dirt and I got home there was no sleep for me. I sat at my computer and googled the phrase that probably saved my pitiful love life.

"How to get over her"

Girlschase dot com

"Cant get over her? Here's why you should replace and never chase"


The way I walk?


Dark Triad?

I read until the waking hours.

The next month before I left to Basic training doubled my number of lays. From 3 to 6. There was a cute and chubby tatted diner waitress, the slightly psycho receptionist at my dead end sales job, and the cute and shy redhead from online dating.

Nearly a year passed and military training was naturally devoid of women. Aside from an awkward handjob behind a DFAC dumpster from a little bit too manly fellow FemComrade, I spent all my free time practicing the way I walked, the way I controlled my no shit frame with men, the way I spoke slowly, authoritatively, and clearly, and reading every god damn article I could find on Girlschase.

I was finally on my flight home. I was in the window seat in a row of three when a large, husky man sat down on the end seat.

Damn... But wait.

Enter Belle SouthernTits. Belle was a sexy southern gal with an accent, tight jeans, and boots to match. Her teeth were a little worse for wear, but who am I to complain? I just lived with a bunch of dudes who I saw naked every morning for nearly a year.

Husky stood up because he wanted the end seat for some aisle leg room. Belle sat next to me, smiled big, and said hi to me. I maintained frame as best I could and stayed cool. We chatted for an hour or so until she pulled out her iPod.

This was my chance. I gestured towards her iPod.

"I know your secret"

"The whole country girl thing is a facade. I bet that thing is full of Bieber."

She shoved me slightly and laughed and said whatever.

I looked at her and grabbed the iPod from her lap like I owned it myself and started flipping through her songs. I saw a band I liked and gestured towards her left earphone and said

"mind if I take a listen?"

as I slowly swept her hair over her ear and pulled the bud out.

We listened together for a few minutes with our heads close and she rested her hand on my leg. I didnt immediately react. I gave it a minute, reached across her body and pulled her other earphone out. I wrapped the headphones and set the iPod in her bag. I looked her in the eye and asked,

"Have you ever kissed a stranger on an airplane?"

She didn't answer verbally, but the way she bit her lip and leaned forward told me everything I needed to know.

Here I was. Making out with a stranger on an airplane. I felt like I had taken over another mans body. I was above and outside myself. This was completely out of character and something I considered impossible.

I didn't close that one because she wasn't getting off the plane and I was meeting family at the airport, but the escalation itself defined something in me i'll never lose.

Over the next four months, I moved to the city and that number went from 6 to 15. I was on fire. Friends circles. Room mate. Tinder. Work. There wasnt a thing I couldnt achieve. I was on top of the world.

Enter Diane.

Diane was a gorgeous part time model with a size zero waist and an ass like a Kardashian. When Diane first walked into the office to apply as a part time receptionist I completely ignored her because I immediately disqualified her as "way the fuck outta my league". What is a peasant before a queen?

Of course she was hired, and of course she worked the desk next to me. I remained professional with her for a few days till I noticed something bizarre. Hanging out of the corner of her bag was a heavily used copy of J.R.R Tolkiens "Return of the King" I stopped what I was doing and immediately asked with genuine curiosity if that book was her boyfriends. She laughed and told me no and explained to me how much she loved reading. Without even thinking, I asked if she wanted to come over after work and check out my book collection. She gladly accepted and I gave her my number. We texted for a few minutes after work and she invited herself over. I sent her my address and by the end of the night, the only thing she didnt end up doing was actually check out my book collection.

Fast forward a few months of near exclusive fucking and she came over one day and hit me with a metaphorical sack of bricks.

"Chad... I'm pregnant"


Along with her metaphorical sack of bricks, she held in her hand a tray. On this tray were two cups. One contained a red pill and the other contained a blue pill.

I swallowed that blue pill faster than a Thai hooker and told Diane I loved her. Within a few months we were married and living together. Love turned to misery and mutual misery turned to exclusively hate. 3 years and one more kid later I had to decide if I was going to swallow my gun or if I was going to swallow the red pill.

Once you've seen red pill the blue pill never works. The world doesnt go back to happy and bliss. You've already put on the shit colored goggles, you cant go back.

I'm 24 and I live on my own. I pay $800 in child support and I've fucked 6 women this month. My number of lays is now 23. Out of my 23, 3 of them were happily married. 2 of them had boyfriends. One of those boyfriends was in the next room.

My wife grew to hate me because I was abused as a child. She assumed that everybody who gets abused becomes an abuser. For 18 months she would not leave me alone with my own child. Women are cheating, lying, stealing psychos wrapped up in pretty packages. AWALT.

They created this miserable sex dystopia we live in. Let them die old and alone. Men, go your own way. Watch out for number one.


The story starts with rock bottom. The first 19 years of my life I was entirely convinced that I was entirely useless, my peers would never accept me, and that I was about the shittiest human to exist. While some here can relate to that childhood, it is absolutely not a normal way to begin life. It is in the story because it is the stasis in which the person I am today formed.

Uninitiated and unguided men waste their life. For some reason I had the instrospection to notice and change, because I could easily be a weaboo neckbeard still living with mum and dad right now like many modern men.

Olivia: I absolutely misinterpreted the situation. I behaved like a friend and was treated like a friend. Frame control, setting expectations, and defining the relationship on your terms are so important. Most women in my life now have a pretty clear understanding of what they mean to me. Fast fun fact though, about a year ago I made out with Olivia at a party at her boyfriends house. Heh. Cunt.

Amanda: Amanda was a last hope. Amanda loved hard and I fell hard. She poured her heart out and I did the same. We talked about having kids and even had names picked out. We were gonna be the cool parents. To a man, those things mean something. To a woman, they do not. She kicked me to the curb like a stray dog in the span of a few weeks, then rubbed in my face the fact that she was fucking around with the new boyfriend. Amanda represents the way you can give a woman your everything and she really doesnt care. Amanda is the truest woman I know, and probably the most cruel. She lives near me currently and with a little effort, I could probably get her to fuck me on her deployed Marine husbands bed, but I aint no Jody.

Diane: Diane seemed different. She had actually read LotR multiple times and I personally watched her read GoT in six weeks. She was smart in her own way, but she was still a vapid, cruel, branch swinging woman. She would not leave me alone with my son because and only because I told her I was abused. She knew she had already secured the genes she wanted and she didnt need me. She wanted to be the heroic single mother but didnt want to be the one to pull the plug on the marriage. Most of the marriage was her sabotaging shit until I had to walk away.

Marriage is hard. You need to be a genuine Machiavellian Casanova to keep any worthwhile woman married to you in modern times. There is just no reason for them to stay otherwise.

In no way do I claim to be a genuine Chad, because Chad does not exist. All men are nuanced. We are all purple. Sure I sleep with plenty of women, but my pickup game is shit and Im still so insecure and angry. Im just me. Change the way you operate in the world, but let yourself be you. Find out how to seperate biological imperatives, the pressures of society, and your own original thoughts.

Lessons learned.

  1. Change is possible, but it comes from experiences. An experience with an open mind will fundamentally change you. Reading TRP for the fifth time this week will not. Go out into the world and actually fuck up. Fuck up alot.

  2. Emotional connection means something different to a man than it does to a woman. Men have lifelong friends. Many women do not. Women evolved to be able to fluidly move from one group to another. Men evolved to stick together. Just because a woman feels this deep connection to you and you feel one for her does not mean that she will not forget you immediately. Do not depend on them emotionally.

  3. Accept nuance. Accept your storied past and accept what you are today.

  4. Embrace greatness. You are capable of doing things you never thought possible. You can fuck a chick in an airplane bathroom. You can be the guy that has a threesome. Dont let your mind be the barrier to the crazy shit you can pull off.

[–]sergeantbbbbs 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Great story mate and I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way but rest assured this is a nice blue pill antibiotic. This will help people

[–]doitforthestory8 122 points123 points  (1 child)

  1. Do not marry young, ever.

  2. When you are on the red pill, the world likes to test if you are actually on the blue pill.

  3. Married women cheat, especially young ones (assuming you slept with similar ages pre 30)

  4. Condoms, pill, plan B etc. for plates.

  5. Channel anger to working on yourself, and not direct it to others, especially deers.

  6. If you are in the friendzone its your fault not anyone else's. She owes you nothing.

[–]voomer53 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Women are cheating, lying, stealing psychos wrapped up in pretty packages.

Very few of us can get past the pretty package..it's like a reality distortion field..

[–]Mr-Ed209 7 points8 points  (5 children)

I threw my phone as hard as I could and it smashed into pieces against my basement concrete wall.

Fuck i've been there. Never again..

[–]TemperedRhyno 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yep, my "Amanda" sent me a selfie of her kissing the dude.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Amanda told me she was going to the movies with her male friend, and that I couldn't come. Pretty bad in my day and age

[–]theredpillager 147 points148 points  (14 children)

This is way too long and doesn't draw connections to TRP enough for readers with shitty reading comprehension to get much out of it. Too much of a story, not enough of a lesson. That said, I read every word and enjoyed it. Very well written. An actual piece of short literature. So, you might consider breaking a few elements down and spelling out the lesson/morale of the sections for newcomers and those who weren't blessed with the best brainpower, but overall I really liked this. And I write and critique the writing of others for a living, for what that's worth.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 135 points136 points  (5 children)

The best lessons are in the stories we have to tell. TRP isn't some set of hard and fast rules and "lessons", or some bulleted-list handbook of things you say responsive to things girls say that get you laid. It's bullshit a bunch of guys came up with based on their observations and experiences. It's guys comparing notes. This story is OP's notes. To think that people would somehow learn less from this and more from some kind of self-help post full of platitudes and empowering advice is crazy-talk.

A lot of guys, and I mean a LOT, read some crap on TRP, hit the gym, dress better, go out, and actually talk to girls confidently, and due to the mere fact that they've now set themselves apart from 75% of men, they actually get lucky and score a few dates with a girl. Three seconds later, they're back to their old tricks, trying to be happy with this girl. Six seconds later, they're back on the internet, complaining about how she cheated and/or dumped him even though he didn't do anything technically wrong and was a good boyfriend.

This is the type of shit guys should read, synthesize, and come to their own conclusions about. Any fatass idiot with a computer can type, "Do shit for you, not for woman! Lift weights. Make money. Be confident. Upvote my good advice!" But what guys really need is to develop a good foundation of information in their bodies. Such that when they're with a girl, they can just interact and draw from what they know. Even extrapolate new things to try. Rather than robotically searching their memory for wise-guy shit test responses.

[–]theredpillager 10 points11 points  (4 children)

It's funny to me that I have run into this scenario on multiple occasions now.

I make a comment recommending how a post could use some guiding "good-post" principles or formatting, defined and outlined as requirements in stickied posts and sidebar material from mods of this subreddit, to be more effective for readers who the author ostensibly hopes will read his work and glean some understanding. In many cases, those rules/guidelines are laid out under auspices that any post not conforming to those standards will be removed.

Then a senior member comes along and says "no, fuck you and fuck all that." I'm not here to make friends or seek validation, but this place could really stand to get on the same page about post expectations. Do this, don't do that. Nevermind, back to the Wild West. Wait, quality sucks again, send in the hounds!

You know how a lot of posts here outline a summary, a body, a conclusion and lessons learned? They do that because mods told them they had to, and they listened. I'm not saying every post ought to do that (although the mods did a year or so back), but I am saying you kind of suck for attacking a post offering suggestions to make this material more useful and digestible to readers.

I agree with many of the points you make in your reply. None of them contradict or disprove the fact that this giant wall of text could stand to better define how the stories it contains relate to TRP in order to better serve readers, many of whom are new to the concepts vaguely referenced within the tales above. For further support of this claim, see the comment from the author himself agreeing with me.

Thank you, come again.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 17 points18 points  (2 children)

The post guidelines are mostly just loser-deterrent. If there weren't any written rules, every loser with an internet connection would be posting some bullshit "what teh red pill means 2 me" shit-post on a daily basis as he trolled the internet for validation.

If you come across a post that is, subjectively, pretty good quality and conveys useful information, nobody's going to bitch that it didn't have a TL;DR summary and a concise "lessons learned" section for people too lazy to read. Holding people to crap like that just makes it easy to kick back crappy posts without having to go line by line stating, "Your post sucks and is useless for the following 46 reasons."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're obviously an experienced mod. You clearly know what's effective in practice.

You also stand to benefit from the advice of writers, since the sub is mostly in writing. I'm a content writer and copy editor, and the guy has a few points.

Going back to wall-of-text's post, it's easy to read through a narrative and feel a connection. But I'm not going to sit here and summarize his points.

Guidelines can make things more readable, and the more readable they are then the more impact they have on a reader. That you are using them as a filter for the lazy isn't quite as effective.

The writer could have done that, either in an ending paragraph or in a summary. Because a list is much easier to reflect on than prose.

I agree with /u/theredpillager.

I suspect you get that this could be useful to you and the sub. I hope you'll recognize that this advice, albeit unsolicited and albeit arrogant, is useful to you. I hope you'll find a way you can use it. The OP went back and did just that. And the post is now more effective. I think this will be useful for you.

[–]theredpillager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In general, I agree. It's clear the rules are to deter bad posts, not hinder good posts, and in most cases, it's fairly obvious when a post is of good value. However, as regards this particular post, it would really benefit from some formatting and drawing it all together more concisely at the end. When I made my original comment, I even almost called it a novella, but decided it might be overly rude to OP. I mean, this is fifteen years of his life story. This post is looong. The useful information it conveys is not obvious because it's buried. Again, just my professional opinion as someone who does this for a living (and ought to be right this minute, but fuck it, it's Friday).

[–]red_tux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be happy with a simple rule, read your post aloud to yourself before you click save/send. I've found that I will catch most spelling and grammar errors along with most disjointed/incomplete thoughts when rereading.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 24 points25 points  (6 children)

I honestly didnt expect this to get any attention at all. I was just passing the time. Since its been noticed, ill probably explain why I found the women I mentioned to be the relevant plot points and how they pertain to TRP

[–]psychyness 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I thought it was a good read. A little cynical at the end, rightfully so.

With that said, it sounds like you're back in the anger phase of the red pill. Angry at women for being women, and angry at yourself for knowing better but trying to 'do the right thing.'

I hope things go better for you in the future.

[–]theONE843663 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It was a good read cuz I myself am 6'2" and have been 300+ lbs before, play guitar, played videogames obsessively, and a big fan of Isle of man!

But I don't get why you chose to be bullied bro. I was the opposite since a young age and had a reputation for getting suspended or kicked out of school for perpetrating violence.

[–]Papahoff25 4 points5 points  (2 children)

He was abused as a child; I'm assuming there is some correlation between the two. I'm no expert though nor do I have any studies to back this up.

[–]theONE843663 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hmm interesting... I was an only child and given whatever the fuck it was that I wanted. Pretty much grew up spoilt. Before I immigrated to Canada, I was second in command of one of the 3 major gangs in my school. We used to bully kids to giving us their lunch money which we used to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, smoke weed and whatnot.

When I immigrated to Canada, I was immediately suspense from school for getting in a fight. I quickly learned that physical force is frowned upon here. Thus began my red pill journey cuz I couldn't fathom why fighting was frowned upon. I became red pill in grade 10 which I'm so lucky for...But I was still the weird fat douchebag with anger issues till grade 11. Then I started lifting and actually found TRP at the end of grade 12, I was normal looking (bit chubby but built) and started to become notices by bitches.

3 years later Here I am now thankful as fuck for this community for saying the one thing that society denies to say: "Being a masculine man is OK!"

[–]Papahoff25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, I have the same mentality as you. I didn't beat anyone up in school or anything, but I would've never let myself be bullied. However some circumstances just mess the psyche up a bit. But yes this sub is amazing, I was just mentioning to a friend (also a reader) how I think it is top 3 on all of Reddit for my money.

[–]Spacemage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, break this down and lesson this story.

[–]Oz70NYC 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree with a few others that the passage was maybe a bit overdrawn, but the point you eventually got to is the definition of why we're all here. I'm 36, 4 years removed from a 7 year marriage. Before that marriage I was RP as fuck. Served in the USMC for 11 years, fucked chicks all over the middle east and Europe. Then I met my ex wife and betabitched the fuck up. The last 2 years of my marriage is when I started looking for the exit. We found out she couldn't have kids after her 3rd MC...and her father passed the same WEEK...randomly. Just sitting in his living room watching Food Network...and stopped breathing. Was dead within minutes. All that factored into her losing her fucking mind. And initially I tried to help, but she pushed me away in a manner that made me say "ok, fuck this."

Made my way here not long after the divorce to relearn what I lost as a pussy whipped bitch. And I'll never go back to that place.

[–]clme 6 points7 points  (1 child)

"Love turned to misery and mutual misery turned to exclusively hate".

TRP wisdom aside, congratulations for this sentence! I really love the subtle move forward or subtle sense of dynamism created by the fact that you modified misery on the 2nd occurrence: you didn't say "love turned to misery and misery turned to hate" but "love turned to misery and MUTUAL misery turned to hate..." - that particular move was like a linguistic jewel I couldn't help but appreciate.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks i'll be masturbating to your compliment

[–]Dubbs_Malone points points [recovered]

Btw, I see your ratio of taken women is about 1/5. Interesting. Mine has been closed to 1/3.

Filthy whores. Delicious

[–]killking72 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what my fitness don't get. I love filthy and disgusting women. Something about symbols of "virtue" being spoiled is sexy.

[–]BoyWhoreWithASword 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine has been closer to 1/3.

Likewise. These hoes ain't loyal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find it sickening. Men naturally like to build things up and set into motion systems of value. Invest in a woman and give her a role? She'll spit in your face and ensure the machine crumbles.

[–]suske127 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man you should consider becoming an author. You write like one. Fantastic read (even if it was long for this forum)

I'm glad for you that you're doing so well. Like you said, once you put on the shit-colored goggles, you can't see the world as beautiful again. Just always remember that and keep killing life. Figure out what you want from it and take that shit

[–]C_u_in_lumbridge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am a recent swallower of the red pill, that being said this post is fantastic and offers a realistic perspective. I want to thank you for sharing your story.

[–]absolucion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That was a captivating read. Your love of reading has helped you become a great writer.

Thank you for sharing.

[–]VickVaseline 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I enjoyed reading this. You have some writing talent.

That 'dare' thing actually happened to me too, when I was eleven.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah fuck chicks for that man. I dont get what they get from it.

[–]BrodinsOats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Power. They get to exercise their social capital.

Middle school is when they really start to realize and explore this social phenomena, so they're a little more brutish about it.

[–]InformalCriticism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lifetime of knowledge before your quarter century. Women move pretty quick to destroy men these days, don't they?

[–]thop89 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Why did you impregnate her tho?

[–]SouthernFit 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Cool story, honestly looks like subtle advertising for "Girlschase dot com". If that's the case, you can fuck yourself.

[–]RealMcGonzo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice post, great writing. Kinda weak at the end. Love the tray with two cups bit.

[–]GoozePaul 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woah I knew a brunette 18 year old Amanda with DDs

[–]RPmatrix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post, beautifully written. You have excellent self awareness bro, which is one of the benefits of introspection combined with a RP mentality, as is clearly evident here.

It's stories like this that "bring together" and demonstrate how various aspects of RP knowledge evolve and how RP thinking is something that doesn't happen overnight, as any all learning takes time, But, if you keep on trying, you'll eventually get there.

Like Michael's story, tales like this one are excellent 'examples' of why TRP exists.

Thanks for sharing such a lovely piece of prose ...

But I call bullshit that you wrote this on a ph in toilet at work! ;)

[–]Calebrox124 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Write a book and I will buy that shit.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Most of the story is over dramatic and irrelevant honestly.

You talk about how you're having a shitty time at 14 (who here didn't?) and then skip over the "yeah I got married and had 2 kids".

You talk abundance but then say things like "Enter Olivia". Since you've fucked 23 girls now why do you still give a fuck about who Olivia is what she did. Every one of us, Chad or not has had a girl like that at some point.

The real importance of this story is the last woman/your ex wife. There's nothing for people to learn from the rest of the story.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 20 points21 points  (3 children)

The relevance of Olivia is a stage of many mens journey where they believe being a non physical friend is an effective route into a womans pants or heart.

  1. I felt alot of guys could relate to the frustration of the time spent on a friendship, then being totally kicked to the curb cause she found a boyfriend
  2. I find the amount of "m'lady" I was spewing back then amusing, and I just wanted to share that with my favorite bunch of chaps.

My life as a 14 year old is also far more formative to who I am now than my brief marriage. The marriage was a pause and a pain. The things that happen to a child (especially rejection by his peers) cause far more damage than a breif marriage in our 20's.

But of course it was dramatic. I was having a good time with it. I look back on most of that shit and laugh.

[–]Robalypse 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I dug the whole journey for what it's worth. Probably similar to a lot of guys here. Hopefully some young dude reads this and gives it a thought.

[–]WhoSweg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

young dude here. I like it. The fucking DD 18 year old... AWALT

[–]cashmoney_x -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was having a good time with it.

That's not an honest answer.

[–]WeekendBi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a raging domination machine when I was 14. Hearing about his story was fascinating to me. I lost my drive at 22. Had to get it back later.

[–]carolinageorgee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved this, if you dont mind would you elabarate on the part where you left basic training and went from 3-6. What where you doing differently? What where the girls like? I would love the break down and a story of your perspective and feeling while trying the new approach and the response of that approach,and I think it will help readers get over the escalation anxiety. Thanks for the great story.

[–]valdirtheblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually read this whole post, very long, but informative. We don't often accept the 'be yourself' part that you put in your last paragraph, however I think it's true. You can only be yourself and change what you want with great effort. Little point in trying to be an ultimate chad, as your story confirms, even they get cucked. But thanks anyway, great read that reinforces awalt and stresses the importance of self over women. Good luck, and thanks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the way you wrote this story, could personally connect on so many levels. Thanks for sharing.

[–]TheGreenBackPack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too many guys on this sub obviously hate themselves, which is why they post here I'm assuming. Talking about feminism and alphas and betas and all that bullshit. Just do your thing and live your life.

[–]LawBot2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The parent mentioned National Guard. Many people, including non-native speakers, may be unfamiliar with this word. Here is the definition(In beta, be kind):

The name that is given to the organisation created by the US constitution where the reserve members of the armed service can be called into action. [View More]

See also: Reserve | Armed | Beta | Sack | Receptionist | Flame | Dragon | Seduction | Bolt | Diploma | Garden

Note: The parent (Dildobagginsaa) can delete this post | FAQ

[–]Procrastanaseum points points [recovered]

Almost a year at training? What MOS? Hope those skills carried over to the civilian world.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a 94F, EWD System repair. I had a bit of a holdover before my class started at AIT

[–]supremelummox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man. Your story makes me think.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic post dildo (and I mean that with the deepest respect, lol). I read much of my life story in there and felt all of those crushing moments too. I learned how to seduce young (and not so young) women early on and racked up many hundreds of bed partners before getting chewed alive a few times due to my bp nature.

I still have that BP nature now, but I know it is a fantasy. I am 6-8 months new to TRP and will never be able to go blue again.

Your story meant a lot to hear Dil. Thanks for the effort it took to write it. Great writing skills I might add.

[–]TooMuchToDoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but I aint no Jody

Saint. Keep fighting the good fight.

For real though, your story is worth the time to read it twice over. Thanks for sharing.

[–]throwaway320_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You write great stories. Entertaining read.

[–]Torpedo_diver_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy fucking shit, I feel so much sympathy (and a bit of empathy) for you. I'm reading this while high as fuck (on a totally legal plant) and this story is a goddamn adventure.

I'm wrestling with so much shit right now (Jordan Peterson's videos, Red pill ideas, reality in general) but I'm PRETTY sure red pill is "correct"

If a mod wants to delete this post for making no fucking sense, I'm fine with that, I just want ya'll to know that I love you guys for showing me this shit and red pilling the hell out of my life.

[–]Torpedo_diver_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy fucking shit, I feel so much sympathy (and a bit of empathy) for you. I'm reading this while high as fuck (on a totally legal plant) and this story is a goddamn adventure.

I'm wrestling with so much shit right now (Jordan Peterson's videos, Red pill ideas, reality in general) but I'm PRETTY sure red pill is "correct"

If a mod wants to delete this post for making no fucking sense, I'm fine with that, I just want ya'll to know that I love you guys for showing me this shit and red pilling the hell out of my life.

[–]Cartz1209 -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Out of my 23, 3 of them were happily married. 2 of them had boyfriends. One of those boyfriends was in the next room.

I won't say anything about the other 4 women, but really man, with her boyfriend in the next room? I wan't to believe I would never do that to a fellow man, unless I hated his guts! And even then...

It's one thing to mess around with compromised women behind their boyfriends/husbands' backs. Another very different is to come to the point of total disrespect of fucking the girl with the boyfriend there or in the next room. Just out of curiosity, was this at his/her place?

Imagine how the guy must have felt! Even if somehow he wasn't aware at the time, he probably discovered later. I think that can be compared to the humiliation your 14 year old suffered... but way worse!

That guy needed someone to introduce him to the red pill! You still have time to do so. Track the guy and send him a message saying "Hey dude, I'm the guy who fucked your bitch while you were in the next room. Sorry, my bad! Here is my way to apologize ->" Link him some red pill material.

This being said, I enjoyed reading your post. Not really much to learn from, as some other users mentioned, but still a nice story. Keep improving yourself and remember, red pill it's not just about getting pussy. It's about becoming a better man. Don't be the asshole who puts weaker men down. There's no pride in that.

[–]1SeemedGood 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I wan't to believe I would never do that to a fellow man,

You wouldn't be doing it to him. She would. Their deal is not your deal. If you have a relationship with him or you are afraid of the repercussions on you that's one thing, but if he's just some random guy her relationship with him isn't really your business. And if she would get into a situation with you to which he would object, then you're doing him a favor by going through with it.

[–]Cartz1209 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I meant in a situation where the guy is in the next room. That's a whole new level of disrespect. I wouldn't feel good knowing a poor devil is literally two steps away, while I bang his girl.

I read a couple of weeks ago here on TRP a post where a guy was talking about his friend who actually tried to commit suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend, after she had taken some guy to their place and bang the guy while he was in the next room, aware of it happening. Some guys are just extremely blue pill and will take all the shit the world throw at them. They don't need Chad to help and throw some more.

[–]1SeemedGood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't need Chad to help and throw some more.

Life always delivers exactly what we need to evolve. For some guys that'll be his GF/LTR getting banged in the next room, for some guys it may take more than that even.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

You can't feed anyone the red pill. They have to choose to take it themselves.

[–]Cartz1209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They cannot choose what they don't know it exists.

[–]grass_cutter -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

Sounds half made up, what with the 'model McSugar tits mcZero waist' (don't start a writing career, dude) ... actually reading Return of the King, repeatedly. Sounds a lot more likely to be made up by some nerdy dude than 'stranger than fiction' reality.

Also: where is the advice?

I saw a diatribe of a man making one shitty, dumbass decision after the next, and is now paying child support to "bitchy McBitchTits". Yes, women have tits.

You sound like a bitter, confused young man. No wonder you and probably half the people here voted for Trump. You're looking for a savior but wouldn't know what the fuck to do if you found one.

[–]2dogsandpizza 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You are bro knighting. reported. Also If that's all you got from this story then I feel sorry for you. I enjoyed it.

[–]grass_cutter 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Bro knighting? The hell? Take a break from the computer forums dude, you're in too deep.

I'm just saying, I don't take financial advice from someone who declared bankrupty 50 times and still has a net worth of -$50k. I guess you think differently. good luck with that

You're also reported. From your report history looks like you report everyone. I have 50 accounts anyway buddy.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I have a pictue of her sitting in a chair reading the third GoT if you wanna see it. Cock sucker.

[–]grass_cutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't need to see your photoshops.

If the story were real, you wouldn't be super defensive and angered by me calling it out. You'd laugh and move on.

Poor fiction writing. Cept for the child support part, that sounds real. Good luck with life dude, jesus lol. Society and the education system failed you.

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not flamebait. This is your only warning.

[–]aanarchist -5 points-4 points  (5 children)

you went from lower beta to upper beta. still a blue pill imo, you're still missing key pieces of the puzzle.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Well, if we factored height, body mass, facial structure, IQ, number of offspring, number of sexual partners, income, and life experience comparative to age, i'd probably rest in the top 10%. On paper.

Sure, I have a long way to go but a blanket statement that im still Beta is just a tad retarded. Like rain man retarded.

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (2 children)

On paper means nothing. Top on paper men fucking movie stars are getting fucked in divorce. Alpha has nothing to do with your height or your bank account whatever. Sure women who like to be pump and dumped will see you as a safe candidate, but that's about all you'll get.

Sorry about your ego but you know it's true. You are a man, your energy is of masculine polarity. It begins and ends with that.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Speaking of egos, did I somehow offend yours?

[–]aanarchist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not at all. i'm just being honest with you because i feel that it will be of benefit to you, that you are someone worth being honest to. like i said dude, whatever on papers you have, all good its icing on the cake, but your strength as a man comes from within. it's really important not to become too attached to externals, and that's a lot coming from me. you are not your bank account, you are not your muscles, you are not your height, you are not your fancy shirt and jacket. you are on an intrinsic level a winner and a badass, and no one can take that away. that's the mindset you have to develop, that's the top 10%, the true red pill. the rest of these beta faggots are going to spend their lives chanting red pill mantras like fucking slaves simply becoming better betas, you have a choice to be above that.

[–]opanchor1 -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

Great post, except for the ssg sexpat. With all due respect, fucking prostitutes and women overseas in the modern form of rape and war spoils is probably the saddest thing I hear of from any man

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

My brother was in Korea for a station. He claims the Korean Women just loved American dudes and were pretty easy to hook up with. No prostitution or rape and pillage

[–]opanchor1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ah your bother said so, hm? No conflict of interest there whatsoever eh lol. Truth is, all South Korea knows expats and creepy white dudes are everywhere. Nice try

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except the Army keeps a close, close eye on it's soldiers in SK.

[–]hazelnutclutch -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Sounds like you started the entire cycle by getting so butthurt over being """friend zoned""". Sucks to be you man, women are such snakes, not strong and cool like yourself.

[–]Dildobagginsaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im gonna take a shot in the dark and say youre a woman? I wasnt just friendzoned, I did what society told me to do

  1. I was nice
  2. Well dressed
  3. A gentleman
  4. Never escalated
  5. Took her on dates
  6. Bought her things
  7. Listened to her problems

...and I was tossed to thd curb the second she got a boyfriend.

And no, the cycle probably started by recieving minimal affection as a child and seeking the validation of women as a replacement. Compound that with abuse leading to early sex addiction and excessive bullying by peers leading to lacking social skills and non-acceptance.

So naturally, my over reliance on women, and the coinciding hurt and confusion in my interactions with them created a person who is very angry at women, and uses sex as a crutch. Is that healthy? No. But neither is your gross oversimplification of an issue that affects many, many modern men.