I can describe what led to me calling it off in another post at some point (it's a story that might help other guys get out of a bad situation, mine was certainly bad), but for now I want to share my experience on what life has been like since calling off my wedding last spring. I've been reading stories on this thread for months, and I think mine is worth adding to the mix. I'll summarize here some of the highlights of my awakening to Red Pill awareness, and hopefully provide motivation to what is possible for other guys looking to make a change out there. Awesome as it is, this transformation has, for me, been nothing short of bizarre.
Having been involved with this woman for 4 years, and more or less out of the game for a few years before that, as I focused on myself and building my career, I was nothing short of ASTOUNDED at the sea change in my SMV at age 29 relative to where it had been in my early 20's. What I perceived to be mild changes in my maturation have proven to be exponentially powerful in the dating market. Six years ago I was tall, a former college athlete, and pretty socially savvy, but getting the girls I wanted still seemed fairly difficult. Now that I'm more prosperous and truly don't give a fuck (plus older), it's almost a joke. I see all the women around my age are so obviously nervous about hitting the impending wall, and so desperate to latch onto a man, that getting laid is only marginally harder than going to the gym. Younger and older women too, with their own motivations.
About a month after calling it off, I was encouraged to begin what was for me the unnatural process of spinning plates (referred to among my friend group as 'maintaining a rotation'). Older guys in my life told me I needed to shop around, which I'd never really been comfortable doing. Once I got comfortable with non exclusivity (which didn't take long, since calling off my wedding killed any concept of oneitis), I began openly bragging about my rotation in social settings. I did this in large part just to humor the married and LTR guys, only to find, again to my astonishment, that this dramatically increased my attractiveness to women, who wanted to know more, and even recommended girls I should go out with. When I went out with any new girls, as a matter of decency (at least this is how I rationalized it at first), I told every single one, on the first encounter, that I had called off my wedding and some of the reasons why. Originally I expected to encounter revulsion (blue pill conditioning), but found instead that this gave them tingles. I now understand that I was projecting a kind of unbreakable frame - one of a man who simply will not compromise on his principals and self interest. The shit tests I read about on here don't really pop up much from the women I see. I attribute it to dropping this simple fact. Every woman I see knows that I was willing to walk away from a god damn wedding (to a woman I once loved) due to bad behavior, so why on earth would I ever put up with petty bullshit from some plate?? After things get sexual and I see their attachment escalating, I also tell every single girl the following, more or less verbatim - "look, let's be adults, as we continue to see each other there may be reasons you discover where you don't want to see me anymore and reasons I decide I don't want to see you. I need you to know that now that I am single I intend to be with other women and shop around, are you fine with that?" Invariably they've all said yes, some with a bit of reluctance. But with that affirmation in order, I've more recently been dropping this next bomb (which I started to do somewhat out of pride but more to just amuse myself) - "well that's good to hear you can handle me being with other women, but just know that if you are with another man, I want you to tell me and I don't want to see you anymore. In fact, I hope you burn in hell." I say this last part with amused mastery. The handful of times I've done this, I continue to remain in disbelief that they just giggle and agree (not that I expect them to hold up to this, I'm not a fool). The conversation then goes elsewhere. I also just want a ready made excuse to kick them out of the rotation when I don't fancy them anymore. I've regularly maintained four girls in rotation. I read some of you guys maintain more, but the logistics just get mind numbing for me. I've drifted away and dropped some (who continue reaching out fairly regularly to me) only to add others. I've also been amused by the fact that each of them has, in her own way, tried to monopolize my time and affection despite my ground rules.
Having been Mr. Monogamy for years with my ex and a few exes before that, and without any kind of genuine appreciation or support for doing so, I've been blown away (and at times even disgusted) by the truly pliable nature of women. Like many other men, I experienced a phase of anger and resentment, but I am so much wiser now thanks in large part to the Red Pill.
As I approach 30 years old, in great shape, with social savvy and a good job, I could not be happier to be a Red Pill aware man who dodged a shotgun blast and instead accepted the true nature of intersexual dynamics. Also, the bar for me entering a monogamous relationship is quite high now that I understand the reality of AWALT, and have generally lost respect for most women's value as an LTR or wife.