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Science"Researchers found that being rejected by an attractive man actually makes a woman more likely to turn down an unattractive one" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

Interesting study from a year or two back: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3081480/Hell-hath-no-fury-like-woman-scorned-rejected-attractive-man-makes-women-cruel-men.html

 

"Researchers found that, rather than being grateful for the fall-back option, being rejected by an attractive man actually makes a woman more likely to turn down an unattractive one, and to describe him harshly. It is as if distancing herself from the unattractive man helps her retain the idea that she is high status, cushioning the blow of the rejection."

 

There isn't really much to say about this that isn't already clear. Right now, there's a nice guy out there somewhere, still waiting for his magical oneitis to hit the wall and come running to him (as soon as Chad starts looking for fresher talent). Picture him. After running out of time and options, his oneitis might actually consider our mild-mannered friend, especially if he makes a nice income, but ONLY because she feels that she has to.

 

You read it in the article. This rejected woman, who is now out of options, isn't simply indifferent to the less attractive man. She is now HOSTILE to him, even if the guy is accepting toward her... just because Chad didn't want her. Her hamster goes insane, trying to shield her ego at all costs and she lashes out at the less attractive man. (And I remind you that these are involuntary, natural reactions wired into women's minds).

 

If a woman, for any reason, feels that you are not the man... that either she is settling for you or she used to pull more attractive guys than you, then watch out because she might be harboring a deep, instinctual disdain for you. If you feel that you aren't as attractive as you could be, it might not be the best idea to bother trying to pursue any kind of serious relationship because you might end up with a woman that hates you to the core. That is all.


[–][deleted] 164 points165 points  (18 children)

This is not surprising, given human nature. Very few people like consolation prizes while still upset about missing their big prize. It's well known that winners of Olympic silver medals are typically less happy than winners of bronze medals.

But even more than that, women are acutely sensitive to group dynamics. Being socially excluded is very painful for women, more so than for men. This is why women are very reluctant to stand up for something in the face of group ridicule. Women basically fight by means of social exclusion. For women, being rejected is similar to getting into a physical confrontation for men.

Thus, after being rejected, she rejects, in order to restore her feeling of social power. It's similar to how when some kids get pushed around at home, they go to school and bully kids smaller than them. Weak people step on those weaker than them in order to feel stronger.

[–]RedBikerMouse 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Thus, after being rejected, she rejects, in order to restore her feeling of social power. It's similar to how when some kids get pushed around at home, they go to school and bully kids smaller than them. Weak people step on those weaker than them in order to feel stronger.

A friend of mine told me once that mediocre women reject cute men to get the feeling of having the upper hand. That some might even reject you even if in a completely different setting would give you a chance, in the sense of "well, he's not DiCaprio hot but he's good enough to date".

He was so right, as it turns out. She'd rather take her feeling of superiority of who has the saying in whether there will be sex or not.

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This is true. Happened to me once. I was at a party and this chick owned the house. I talked to her for a while and as the party came to and end, drunk me decided to tell her that I wanted to stay the night with her. In front of everyone, to preserve her ego, she states "get in line" to which myself and everyone laughs. I ended up getting her number. Next thing you know she's texting me to come over to her place and watch a movie. So I stayed a few nights with her, ended up scoring with her, then I stopped talking to her. I win.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Being socially excluded is very painful for women, more so than for men.

I have zero sympathy, given how the gleefully women reject men they don't want, then make it more harsh to increase their perceived status, then laugh and gloat about it with their friends.

The men who get this the worst are the average guys. The really unattractive ones get ignored (she's not going to gloat that a homeless guy tried to fuck her)... it's the ones in the middle who have the guts to try who get this treatment.

Sorry ladies - if the sting of my rejection is too harsh maybe you should think about how you treat men rather than focussing on your egos all the fucking time.

Weak people step on those weaker than them in order to feel stronger.

The irrationality is that she's closing down her own more appropriate options, and making everyone's life worse in the process.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 15 points16 points  (2 children)

It isn't rejection. It just isn't my turn. No sting.

See, I can do it too ladies.

[–]_the_shape_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

...and you wanted your turn before she turns into some other dude's consolation prize.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point but at least there are plenty like her.

[–]aanarchist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

except beta bob isn't weaker than her, he's just giving over power to her that she hasn't earned, therefor she abuses it and him.

[–]xddm2653 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is why women are very reluctant to stand up for something in the face of group ridicule

Interesting. So what do they think of the man who does so? Pure bravery, in their eyes

[–]jim234234red points points [recovered]

I have seen this in action quite a bit with women who are just hitting the wall, and coming out of a long term relationship where the good looking guy (also in his 30s) realizes he can have a lot of fun and ends the relationship because the girl is putting pressure on him to get married.

The three or four times it happened to me, the woman's former boyfriend was decent looking and was the breadwinner. The women, now hitting the wall, had some shit job as she had been expecting the well-to-do guy to pay her way. Normally, they women like this weren't CC riders - they had been with their Chad for most of their 20s.

Now, a few months to a year after the break up, she is finally back on the dating scene. Objectively, I'm probably a pretty good match for her as I am successful financially, okay looking, appropriate background (white, college educated), but I'm probably a few inches shorter and just not as high tier as her former BF is. But she is never going to get a guy like that again as her SMV is plummeting.

But instead of understanding the true situation she is in, she will usually just break things off with me, even after a pretty good date or two.

And every time this has happened, I kind of suspected it was because she did not want to believe that someone like me was their new equal.

I actually look out for this now - far better luck when I go for a woman who was never that hot in her 20s and is not an alpha widow. Better to find a women who was never exposed to Chad.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It seems to me that women tend to amalgamate all their past partners into one fantasy "perfect man" they use as their standard. They want a guy with Bill's dick, Bob's career, Gary's sense of humor, etc. I think this is part of the reason that the more men a woman has been with the less happy she is with her current partner. No one guy can possibly measure up, but somehow she thinks there is actually one out there who embodies the best qualities of her previous lovers.

[–]tio1w 2 points3 points  (6 children)

It's similar to how when some kids get pushed around at home, they go to school and bully kids smaller than them

This has been thoroughly debunked. It's nothing but a trope.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Do you have a source for that? Everything else I posted was based on studies I've read, but this one point was based on personal observation from when I was at school. I saw it happen. However, I realize that this doesn't necessarily mean it's common. I'd be interested in reading anything that disproves it.

[–]tio1w 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Fair request.

There was a rather recent study that analyzed those ideas that bullies do so because they are abused themselves and that their lives are somewhat worse in the long run.

What they found was the opposite. Bullies grow up to lead much happier and successful lives and they bully to climb the pecking order.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/07/30/bullies-are-happier-have-more-sex-appeal-says-study/

found that adolescent bullies have higher self-esteem and social status, as well as lower rates of depression and social anxiety. From an evolutionary standpoint, these combined measures also make the meanest in the playground pack the ones with the greatest sex appeal.

http://www.theverge.com/2014/5/12/5710720/being-a-bully-may-be-good-for-your-health

http://www.pnas.org/content/111/21/7570

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Thanks for following up.

Perhaps times have changed since I was a kid. Or maybe it's because I went to school in a bad neighborhood and there were a lot of dysfunctional families. Interesting. I'll have to think about this point some more.

[–]tio1w 0 points1 point  (1 child)

read the pnas article.

It's actual (quantitative) science and shows that the detrimental effects of bullying are minimal to the bully and last many years for the bullied (physiologically)

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Makes it seem like god is actually the devil lol...

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think so. I did this exact thing in grade school for this exact reason.

[–]ThirstyBetaMale points points [recovered]

Explains all the fat chicks on Tinder and OkCupid who all want 8's or above. With statuses like, "Must be tall, dark, handsome, ripped, built, big penis, and wealth" And she is like 300 lbs.

[–]WhorehouseVet 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Remember, even the worst of landwhales will be validated by thirsty betas, thus inflating her perception of self.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yep. I knew a girl who was actually pretty unattractive but she was actually self aware and not insecure about it. Yet when she was on okcupid she still got at least 10+ messages a day. Crazy that there's so many betas out there

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because big girls are beautiful too! /s

[–]IblizTrigga 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That is different. Women's ridiculous standards is due to the plethora of validation from thirsty betas. Anyone who receives that amount of validation would have a hyper-inflated sense of value.

This is the idea that women become hostile towards less attractive men when rejected by more attractive men. It's why HB5-6 women will not only reject men who are HB7-, but actively humiliate them. It also explains why higher SMV women are easier to approach.

[–]casemodsalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just how women think once they get fat or ugly...and have false ego's. Most women are entitled cunts...

[–]SunTzuArtofWar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, fat chicks CAN get these guys on Tinder at least for casual fuck.

Funny enough, I once met a (recently) married young couple.

He was 6'2", good looking, had money, loves children. She was a fat whale, and a total shrew.

I was persuading him he should consider having a big family. And she butt in the convo talking about there is no way in hell she will "pump out so many kids".

I originally though she'd at least have a good loving personality...

[–]NeoreactionSafe 112 points113 points  (39 children)

 

So a woman has a beta orbiter "in reserve" and sees Chad and tries to attract him but fails. This woman will not turn to the beta orbiter because she was never actually attracted to him.

The test case didn't ask the question:

 

"Would she ever be attracted to the beta orbiter?"

 

And my guess is she never would be.

However, because of the way women "double down" on stupidity I could see her being twice as cruel to her beta orbiter as a way to vent her frustration.

Imagine the beta orbiter...

He sees his Oneitis chasing Chad (and knows she's not in Chad's league) and he knows after she fails he will get punshed for it.

Never be the beta orbiter, never accept punishment from a loser female.

 

[–]neetpepe 52 points53 points  (5 children)

Women enjoy torturing their orbiters to get back at chad for pumping and dumping them.

It's just like how the bully picks on weaker kids because he can't stand up to an abusive father.

[–]dudet23 29 points30 points  (4 children)

This. Women live in a 3 tiered world. They worship Chad. They love themselves. They hate on/boost their ego with betas. Tier 1. Tier 2. Tier 3.

Don't be Tier 3 lol

[–]purduered 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I'd rather be in all 3 of her tiers. Amirite?

[–]DodgedAFew 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If tiers means holes then yes.

[–]purduered 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My one shit post of the day. It was in reference to the 3 orifices that she does not use for speaking, shitting, or poppin out babies

[–]CollaterLDamage 51 points52 points  (11 children)

is this why we keep seeing those really sloppy girls with unusually high standards?

this also happens with men.It's typical of "neckbeards".

[–]xddm2653 29 points30 points  (10 children)

Yea I hate guys who look at a 8/10 female and go "Nah wouldn't fuck her. Not enough eyebrow"

[–]IblizTrigga 24 points25 points  (4 children)

That's completely different. A less attractive man claiming to not be attracted to an HB8+ is preemptive rejection. It's about rejecting the person before they have the chance to reject you, thus saving face. It's nothing more than a defense mechanism, and VERY common among low SMV women approached by high SMV men.

[–]xddm2653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wouldn't it be the same thing, then?

[–]NotNormal2 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Those guys were just joking

[–]xddm2653 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well I had a friend who was pretty much a born again virgin (no sex in 4+ years) and his standards were ridiculous. He'd hamster about why he didn't want certain hot girls that I would have slapped the dick on months ago

[–]Buchloe -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Well there's also rejecting 8s and 9s because you take one look and think "fuck she's gonna be such a pain in the ass. I don't want to deal with her shit". Ad time goes on, the 7s are looking better than 9s to me, just because they're easier to manage.

[–]abbafishhead 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Anyone wants to explain the hamstering here?

[–]Buchloe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, there's something to be said for less attractive girls having to develop an actual personality. There's some vapid hot chicks out there that are not enjoyable whatsoever

[–]PEDRO_de_PACAS_ 38 points39 points  (0 children)

This reinforces the idea that hot women are easier to get with than average ones... Which in my experience is completely true

[–]godfatherchimp 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Every man should always feel that he's not as attractive as he could be. Always be improving SMV. Other than that conclusion, you make good points.

[–]chambertlo 11 points12 points  (1 child)

No fucking wonder as to why I see so many dog-looking broads turning down dudes. Tumblr makes so much sense now.

[–]SunTzuArtofWar 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Women drop SMV as they age. They have to settle, if they didn't hook the alpha provider at 20, she has zero chance of hooking 1 at 30. Real life isn't sex and the city.

I would assume women overall become less attracted to alphas as they age.

I do recall this 29 y/o model I dated. Despite being pretty shitty at life, she was very realistic about her options of long term commitment. She ended finding someone willing to LTR her and she jumped on it. No idea if she's married by now but I wish her best of luck.

[–]zephyrprime 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Please describe what you mean when you say "realistic"

[–]SunTzuArtofWar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meaning they would have to settle for someone less exciting, shorter, less sexy and less interesting than they are used to. A boring beta male that will commit is a realistic prospect.

To be fair, most beta males are not ugly or poor, they are good long term prospects. And they'll change the diapers and provide income.

Granted a lot of women don't grow out of this delusion. That's why you have 40 year old childless women at bars hoping some investment banker will sweep them off their feet.

[–]greencrack 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Wow need send this to my friend that's never been asked out. She online dating and dismisses any guy that's not good looking in her book. Single for life.

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Waste of time. She'll never change. Until she's 36 and realizes she's gonna die lonely

[–]NotNormal2 25 points26 points  (1 child)

  1. Be money

  2. Have attractive.

  3. Don't be unmoney.

[–]InterNetting 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You should take a break from the internet.

[–]JackGetsIt 7 points8 points  (1 child)

because you might end up with a woman that hates you to the core.

And she might just stay with you until she has a better option. Which might be never.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Dad beats mom, so mom beats the kids.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Shit rolls downhill. So be on the top of the hill.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, if you can. I find it's one of those things like 'if you vett properly, you'll never have to worry about awalt' or the blue pill, 'you just picked a dud'

In my first case, the kid doesn't have a choice, so your advice is only good advice, until it isn't

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fortunately for the kid, he'll get his own hill to climb.

[–]Paladin2903 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is why beta bux can't figure out why "their" (lol...she's never theirs) woman is so hostile to them, or why she is suddenly so cold and like a completely different person.

Hey beta, it's because you weren't her first choice. Hell, you might be choice #20. She never wanted you in the first place.

Due to her aging and running out of top tier choices, she had to settle. This makes her pissed off and bitter. Very bitter.

[–]sintrixxxx points points [recovered]

idk. the last 5 or 6 women i totally shut down and gave them the bitter truth of their reality all married the very next guy within months. No more confusion about hitting the wall. Just a wake up call. All of those guys were average white knights. Not even attractive! meh. One more thing, ever notice 90% of women can never just be your friend when you break up; They have to hate your very existence for denying them precious seed.

[–]1ozaku7 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Like infants, women operate on emotion and no logic whatsoever.

[–]1GroundhogLiberator 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd like to extend an apology to every man who later spoke to a woman whose advances I turned down. She should have been as polite to you as I was to her.

[–]mawisu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, the old "If he won't have me, no one will!"

Tale as old as time...

[–]Conceited-Monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is no upside for your SMV if you are seen as the backup option. Orbiters rarely get pulled closer when the woman gets dumped.

[–]1------6EQUJ5-11--1- points points [recovered]

Can we stop using the Daily Mail as a source please.

[–]8n0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just use archive links.

here

Provided we acknowledge that all articles/stories will have an inherent bias and read them accordingly, the source shouldn't be too big a matter to automatically disqualify it for discussion.

Tagging /u/mrbossman123 to use archive link.

Read this post at own risk and presume this has been modified by Reddit Inc

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]aanarchist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

they're not natural reactions, they're just mind control, programs running in her brain that was highjacked at an early age. ego is a masculine trait, and is unnatural in a woman. any woman who is in a successful relationship and has any level of pleasantness about her has her ego in check and keeps an air of grace. the moment society installs an ego gratification mindset into her mind she's fucked and can no longer be considered a woman.

[–]1ozaku7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women become crazy when they get rejected, especially if they consider themselves high value as you describe. I had a case where I according to friends rejected a girl. Not only did her friends started to dislike me, but the girl turned from this very sweet girl into a feminist blog writer, and she openly admitted this to me. Not that it's because of me that she is a feminist blog writer. Just that she is one, with a frown on her face.

Sometimes I still regret not dicking her, but at hindsight, she was so full of childishness that I would feel more like a pedophile, even though she was 22.

[–]CUNTRY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

alpha widowed... even in passing.

[–]zephyrprime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women be cray cray. That's all I have to say.

[–]fakenate1 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Is this where I apologize to all the ugly men out there?