Much of the tone on TheRedPill and asktrp, at times, is one of urgency and franticness.
- “My girlfriend did [insert common response to Beta behavior], OMG what should I do?”
- “I handled this one chick I’ve had my eye on like [scarcity mentality tell]. She may be into me, but not sure. Any tips?”
- “I just caught my girl texting some other guy. Confronted her and she denied it! AWALT, amiright haha?”
The Red Pill mindset – and the positive outcomes associated with it – is not one of specific instances, but rather the culmination of the work you’ve put toward becoming a better man. It’s impossible to tell a (still) recovering Beta specifics to fix his imminent problem, when the deeper issue is his stunted Red Pill transformation. It’s like trying to put lipstick on a pig.
Instead of focusing on a woman or her byproducts thereof, the most important thing for any man – that will simultaneously help with a specific intergender problem anyways – is to focus on improving himself.
Shit happens. You’ll get laid off at work. Your girlfriend will cheat on you. Your car will break down. You’ll go home from the bars alone. If you go from one situation to the next thinking and reacting to specifics, you’ll never improve to be a man that both handles these situations better, but more often avoids them in the first place.
The good news is that becoming a better man – a Red Pill man – has no urgency or pressure associated with it. In fact, a slower transformation is more internalized and understood. The weight of the world is not on your shoulders.
At least not this very second, anyways.
Going to the gym four days a week takes discipline, routine, and hours in a schedule. Reading The Rational Male takes tens of hours of digest and comprehend. Game takes months of approaching, failing, and critiquing. Excelling at your career takes years upon years to find success. Perfecting a hobby can be an endless time-pour for meditation and relaxation.
You see, your time, efforts, and energy are better spent not on the (often Beta-induced) matter at hand, but rather slowly refining your mental schema to understand how a better man would live a life. Because that’s how a man lives his life: slowly, methodically and always trying to become better.
The funny thing is, once you’ve put working on yourself first, you’ll find that talking to that hot brunette at the café doesn’t carry near the anxiety it would have before. There are tons of hot brunettes out there, and you know most would kill to be with a guy like you. Similarly, you aren’t worried about your LTR leaving you, because you could replace her with a better girl at a moment’s notice.
So if you find yourself stressed with the urgency of a given situation – especially those concerning women, take a step back and evaluate if your (recent) time passed has you and your development as its core focus. We all, at times, can backslide. It’s these frantic situations that can be a good reset for your future time and efforts going back to where they belong, improving you.
Success – with women and without – finds you because you have put in the time and effort and actually are a better man, not because you act it.