Got a single mother twice my age pregnant (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by Outlandder


[–]e298f622X2 127 points128 points  (8 children)

If I were you bro I would go get an attorney. I would make it very clear RIGHTNOW that if she has that kid YOU will be taking full custody and SHE will be paying you. Your attorney can help you document stuff like the way she has already raised kids, how to position yourself for this etc.

My guess is she will abort when she she's the reality of things. She probably currently thinks she hit a gold mine to 60.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (4 children)

That's actually a really good idea. Thank you

[–]e298f622X2 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Hey I just wanted to pop back in here with a couple of additional thoughts. First off you should eliminate even the slightest possibility of a relationship with this woman. She is 17 years your senior. There is no future there. She knows this. She also knew the whole time that the ONLY reason she was getting the young dick is because you are not exactly understanding of your self worth. Second is that you should be preparing yourself to be a single dad. It's going to take years to get full custody. You have a long hard path before you. That being said this woman sounds like pure trash and I would do everything in power to remove my offspring from that influence. I have met single dads before, it can be done. Hell your going to have so much milf pussy haha Good luck.

[–]bboy1977 points points [recovered]

Once you have a kid with someone you will have a permanent relationship with them whether you want to or not. Best case you share kid's homework, spilt vacations, have each other as last minute Babysitter. Worst case mom disappears with kid for days on a binge or neglects him and you are talking to social services and the police once a week.

In most states it's also very difficult to get full custody unless you can show drug/ child abuse or something pretty out there. If having a messy home with cat shit everywhere we're enough I'd have full custody of mine. I've got 40%. Even if he does get full custody, at his age his social life is then over and he is full time dad to a baby that requires 24/7 attention. Hopefully his parents and family can help.

I'm a single dad and while, yes, I have several plates and it is easy to sleep with women in the 35+ age range, having a kid puts everything in hard mode with women under the age of 30. Still happens, but not because of the kid.

Really unfortunate this is happening to OP at such a young age. Most of career earnings are going to have to be spent navigating family law system and trying to protect this kid from a mom who can't even take care of herself. Plan B should be moving out of the country permanently. Seriously.

[–]e298f622X2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solid advice really. He is young enough he should consider getting skills that can transfer to a place like Vietnam.

[–]JLCitadel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FUCKING DO THIS. "What world do you live in?" Its completely fucking possible and its whats absolutely best for the kid. Do not give up on pursuing your dreams. The weight you must carry during your journey has increased 10 fold but the man who must carry them can rise to the occasion. Best of luck on your journey.

[–]IncomingTrump270 10 points11 points  (0 children)

father getting full custody of a newborn, and receiving child support from a clearly degenerate single mom in her 40s.

what planet do you live on?

[–]OracleofFl 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is very likely that her believing you will be in her life romantically and/or financially is a key factor in her decision not to abort--she wants a white picket fence setup with you playing dad and banker for both kids. Make it clear that you will do what is required but you will be seeking women elsewhere and she won't get the fantasy. Hiring a lawyer now (and her knowing it) is a good first step.

[–]Mangoinhand points points [recovered]

Do not sign birth certificate.

If you want to, go ahead.... but not before getting DNA test.

[–]LurkPro3000 171 points172 points  (21 children)

Life Pro Tip. Also - GO TO A DR APPOINTMENT. There really are crazy chicks out there who will use some other chick's positive pregnancy test and ultrasound photo to fuck with the guy who just broke up with them. I'm hoping that is the case for you :/

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points  (20 children)

That was my first thought. As soon as she told me she was pregnant I took her to the doctor and she did a test with me there. She's also had an ultrasound now and there is definitely a baby in there. I'll do paternity testing when I can to confirm it's mine but it's not looking good.

[–]FlyingBaratoplata 44 points45 points  (3 children)

Dude, doing the math, you said she sent you a picture of an ultrasound with a heartbeat 3 weeks after you slept with her. Correct? It takes 6 weeks for a heartbeat to show. If this is truly the timeline, the child isn't yours


[–]RaincityClusterEff 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I was going to say. My brother had a crazy that tried this shit. When he called her on it she played like she just lost it. Sick

[–]slay_it_forward 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's Reddit. He's likely lying about the whole story.

[–]Slut_Slayer9000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if he is, this will scare some guys off from making terrible decisions, which is the greater good. So I actually support this post either way whether its real or fake.

[–]LurkPro3000 90 points91 points  (1 child)

Awww fuuuuccccckkk. Coming from a 30-something chick with two kids (I had my tubes tied after 2nd b/c I didnt want any surprises late in life) - I think this chick is making an incredibly irresponsible decision.

Even if you're ahead of the curve career wise, and/or come from money - making the decision to have a baby with a 23 year old is risky economics. Not to mention that psychologically and emotionally you are not ready for this at all. She mnight as well be having a baby with an 18 year old.

Second, there are much higher rates for congenital problems in infants from mothers 40 plus - especially if her lifestyle hasn't been that healthy. I think the risk for miscarriage is also high though, so you got that going for ya.

P.S. You stuck your dick in crazy. Generally the fact that she wanted to carry on a relationship with a 23 year old when she was 40 was your first crazy clue.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, it seems desperate girls like younger guys, it's all they can get. Most girls like older men. I've fucked older girls, but tend to stick with the 18-28 demographic, they like my near 50 year old ass and gray beard. They really enjoy the short flings with me, but it's awkward for them to take me to their parents and I'm older than they are. Only happened once out of all of them.

[–]sehns 6 points7 points  (1 child)

My recommendation would be to teach yourself a location independent skill such as software development, internet marketing, whatever.. and flee the country and not be present for the birth, and certainly dont pay child support. They can't garnish your wages if you are in another country - especially a developing one. Thailands awesome. PM me and I'll push you in the right directions.

[–]WhorehouseVet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also one that hopefully doesn't have extradition treaty with your home country.

[–]DrobUWP 8 points9 points  (4 children)

there's still a decent chance it's not yours. rebound/revenge fucking some other guy is almost a given during the time you were apart.

RemindMe! 260 days

[–]_penseroso_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I would bet on it. She certainly went out on a banging binge when Op originally dumped her. I doubt its his.

[–]DrobUWP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep. he did have sex with her, so it's possible, but definitely not certain.

[–]thegymismysanctuary 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Aside from this crazy shit with the mother, how do you feel about being a Dad? Remember you are most likely that baby's only chance of having a stable parental figure.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No person with any brain or any goals or self-respect wants a part in this, and will try their best not too. "Hurr durr it's your child man up." Lol, no. Kids are a luxury in today's society where the required investment is greater than it has ever been in human history. She has all the power and a shit life. She will eat like shit, drink, do drugs and fuck other men during pregnancy and the relationship. The kid will forever be raised in that shit hole with the mom in charge. If the kid doesnt come out with defects, it will be stunted by the enivronment and this guy's inability to raise it. OP will have his life ruined forever and his image smeared by association. Big deal, the kid lives. But we here aren't lower class simpletons. Thriving is what matters.

Pray it's not his. Pray for a miscarriage.

[–]0OOOOOO0 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Give her an abortion. Put Mifepristone in a drink, and have her drink it.

[–]Alabastercrab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know man. 18 years co parenting with crazy sounds a lot better than 18 years in the pen

[–]Tuga_Lissabon 83 points84 points  (6 children)

Do not wife. EVEN if you keep to an LTR with her, do not wife. Like in many other reports here, you may even manage to get her exclusive to you while you're not. You're the guy with advantages, not her. She'll be 50 when you are 33, do you realize it?

Wifing means giving her a set of rights without any advantage to you. Her pressure will be immense for it.

Do not wife. This will allow her far less options, and you'll have far more.

Separate accounts. Do not join credit. Do not co-sign lease.

Trying to get her to abort would be ideal, of course; if she's seeing the happy family picture and you want to be rough, trace a different picture: her with 58, the kid all grown up, you with 41 and free from child support and getting it on like a savage.

Picture yourself with a 60ish wife when you're low forties. Nice isn't it. That's gonna be the fun.

Edit: forgot to say "DO NOT WIFE"

[–]OracleofFl 18 points19 points  (1 child)

This! Starting out again at 41 is just fine.

[–]_penseroso_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was surprised to find out my Forties have been the best years of my life!

[–]conspirized 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He needs to check with a lawyer before he decides "do not wife." This varies greatly state by state, assuming he's in the U.S. This is, of course, assuming the paternity test comes back and says it's his kid - though it couldn't hurt to at least start the conversation with a lawyer a bit earlier.

In my particular circumstances I would have been much better off if I had married my kid's mom and then just divorced her a year or two later. Would have given me tremendously more power in family court. Being that he's just starting a high-paying career it may be the same for him. On the other hand, she already has 2 other kids - and he wouldn't want to take on any kind of responsibility for them. This dude fucked up bad.

[–]RetiredTimeHo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She'll be 50 when you are 33, do you realize it?

Jesus don't make the man go and kill himself

[–]Tuga_Lissabon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its pretty bad, but 60 when you are 43 is actually worse in my view.

I've seen too often people not visualizing things a bit ahead. I mean, 15 years difference is a different thing at different times.

You must think: how will you justify what you did today to yourself x years in the future, when he's got to live with the shit you made?

20 to 35? Roll the orgy. 30 to 45? If the man is 45 ok, if its the woman - can still hit that, depends on state. 40 to 55? Now its getting harder. 50 to 65? Sheeeesh

[–]yomo86 55 points56 points  (13 children)

THIS. THIS SO MUCH. In the law field you hear other attorneys share stories from time to time and the fanily lawyers made my decision to never get married way easier.

Single moms - at least based on anecdotes - have a strange behaviour which inreases over time. They want to find a daddy for their spawn while at the same time satisfy her CC sexuality which came to a stall by having children. Now they will fuck a lot of dudes to stick the best option (best BB) with the cheque, thus locking him into her family fantasy and getting dick on the side.

Advise: Say less than necessary. Do not try to influence the bitch in any way it will be spun. DNA test court ordered. There is a post on askTRP sidebar which is called 'You got a stranger pregnent how to proceed'

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (12 children)

This is pretty accurate. From what she's told me she has a duality of conflicting ideas, where she loathes not having a family unit but does nothing in the way if achieving it. Where she should have been looking desperately for a nice guy who would take on her kids, she picked up chads from nightclubs instead. So she's forever in this state of 'I want this thing and I want that thing. Neither can exist if I choose the other, yet I choose both.'

It's to the extent where I know she dated a nice guy who was willing to take on her kids, but she wouldn't give up the alpha fucks and screwed around on him while he looked after her kids. For two years. So even when by sheer luck she stumbled upon a guy who would fulfill her happy family fantasy, she had to have her cake and eat it too. Like a compulsion. It blows my mind.

After she broke up with him she jumped straight back on the cock carousel and started longing for a family man again.

[–]kusanagiseed 17 points18 points  (9 children)

I had a similar thing happen with an 18 yo,she sent me a picture of a positive pregnancy test. I don't know why, but it didn't feel right. So when i got home i decided to use google and reverse image search it, and would you believe i found the exact same picture on a maternity bloggers website. I called her out on her shit and swiftly stopped all contact with her. I would suggest the same. She may well be trying to just get you to marry. Remember it takes 7-8 weeks for a heartbeat to be seen in a ultrasound.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

elsewhere in this thread: he went to the doctor with her, saw the ultrasound in person :/

[–]killking72 3 points4 points  (3 children)

But if he had sex with her only 3 weeks ago then she was getting side dick

[–]1Jaereth 0 points1 point  (2 children)

then she was getting side dick

There's lots of losers in the world. A woman can walk into a bar and have sex that night guaranteed. Even if you fucked a girl yesterday in 3 hours she could be pregnant by someone else if she knows female "game" well enough.

Also, why do you think it's unlikely this absolute slag was getting side dick?

[–]killking72 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I never said it's unlikely? It's actually very likely

[–]re_Pete 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Right, but it doesn't mean it's his baby in there.

[–]0OOOOOO0 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Also, people sell positive tests on Craigslist

[–]SadBoy_phil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What the fuck is wrong with this world?

[–]etaoinsrhd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So the solution here is to nice guy so she goes back to the club. In other words, be the thing that turns her off so she gets back on the carousel and moves on. Just be careful about how you do it, because she's got all those pregnancy hormones running throughout her.

Don't be like that one guy who was "I'll bend the laws of physics to help raise this child", but also don't be a Chad because she'll try to use the kid as a way to enforce her desires and then you're declared a deadbeat dad, only to find out 18 years later that you are not the father, and she was on the carousel the minute you exited the building.

Never trust a single mom with any plurality of kids and a functional reproductive system. Or even one that isn't. Craigslist is full of people selling positive pregnancy tests and trying to buy urine to burn some Chad.

It's far better to knock up a 23 year old in college without an prospects of a normal life and sell yourself as a depressed, shiftless loser without any future.

In short, it's a better strategy to go depressed blue pill and have her realize she just signed up for the worst possible outcome rather than any future. Maybe even fake your own suicide attempt.

[–]OneInAZillion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, get more than one DNA test.

There are doctors these days who are encouraged, or maybe even feel inclined to due to some misguided inner sense of right/wrong, to lie to the man and tell him that he is the father "for the good of the child" when he isn't.

Make sure you know with 100% certainty that it's yours.

[–]xx69bootyhunter69xx -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Also, plan A - coat-hangers

plan B - Stairs

[–]etaoinsrhd 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Plan A, B, C, and D

Plan A: Condom

Plan B: Plan B

Plan C: Stairs

Plan D: Bulimia / Anorexia

[–]1htbf 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure I understand Plan C and I'm afraid I'm actually understanding it...

[–]xx69bootyhunter69xx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using stairs I believe is really the best plan for OP.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian 238 points239 points  (2 children)

Hate to break it to you but this is not about spotting red flags. This is about fucking a 40 year old single mom without protection. No spotting was required here.

Btw. Get a DNA test before you sign anything and dont merry her even if its your child.

[–]grumpy_0ld_man 69 points70 points  (0 children)

This... so much this. FFS a 23 yr old stud sticking into a 40yr old used up hag with no protection. Come on! On the other hand this just shows how easy it is for women to get young dick. It really is easy mode for them

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (15 children)

You should do some research on how early a heartbeat can be detected via ultrasound. This sounds very early. (Former ultrasound tech here.)

Edit: re-reading your post, you made it sound like you got said text after 3 weeks? I call bullshit on that woman. Total, utter, bullshit.

[–]sir_wankalot_here 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I would say she was screwing someone else after she broke up with OP, then suspected she might be pregnant then suckered OP.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (13 children)

Was 2 weeks after the breakup that I slept with her again. Another 5 weeks until she said she was pregnant. 1 week after that, we got the ultrasound and the guy doing it said she was 6 weeks pregnant. So it adds up exactly to the day that we had sex.

I'm still getting a paternity test but I'm sure it's mine.

[–]Dada2fish 11 points12 points  (3 children)

According to Google: An ultrasound is a painless diagnostic test that relies on sound waves, and most women will have at least one during pregnancy. Your first ultrasound will typically be done between 18 and 20 weeks, but you may have one before 12 weeks to confirm your due date." Why did she have an ultra sound so early? Seems a bit odd. And don't say because she's at an advanced age for pregnancy. I was too with my last child and I didn't have one that early.

[–]creamncookies604 2 points3 points  (0 children)

8 week ultrasounds are standard in some countries.

[–]bboy1977 points points [recovered]

Because she wanted to see it alive and ticking. Once you see that heartbeat forget any chance of abortion. Should have taken care of it right away with plan b but hindsight whatever whatever.

[–]0OOOOOO0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can still take care of it with Mifepristone

[–]Brissiebull points points [recovered]

Just double check your maths. My non-professional understanding after my two kids... Day 1 of 'pregnancy' is actually day 1 of her period. Ovulation is day 14ish. Or around 2 weeks. Impregnation around this time means that at '6 weeks' of pregnancy she's really only been fertilised for 4. More reason to doubt her story.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Yea will do. I'm seeing a doctor privately to discuss things so we'll have a chat about it. And I'll be getting that paternity test with or without her consent.

[–]TB3o3 14 points15 points  (1 child)

would be nice to get some sort of update after that. Y'know, to complete the narrative. all the best lol

[–]Whirly315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brissiebull's explanation is correct

[–]marplaneit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are correct, also hearts don't start beating till week 4-5... You wouldnt catch it in an ultrasound. Something is fishy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Request to go to the next ultrasound. Call around and ask local ultrasound schools if they'd like a "pregnant" woman to practice on.

[–]Alex2086 88 points89 points  (5 children)

"A couple weeks later I get a text"

Nope. Not yours. Not even likely to be your kid. You can still get your life back. Paternity test ASAP.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW16 43 points44 points  (4 children)

"A couple weeks later I get a text"

Nope. Not yours. Not even likely to be your kid. You can still get your life back. Paternity test ASAP.

Agreed it's not his. Not with a text message. She went fishing and she caught herself a nice guy. OP may read TRP but inside he is baby blue pill.

I recommend a total ghost. Demonstrate how immature and unreliable a 23 year old truly can be. Don't take responsibility for this at all. It sounds like her life is a mess and you just stepped into it. She spun a web, as spinsters always do. You walked into it. Do what anyone does when they walk into a spider web: clean yourself off, make sure you don't have a spider on you, and continue along your path.

[–]1RXRob 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I'd do the opposite of ghost. Be a legal thorn for 9 months. Show that you're either going to prove that the baby isn't yours, or you're going to raise it in a healthy environment free of human and feline shit.

[–]TRPtossaway points points [recovered]

One thing's for sure: She's pregnant with someone's kid.

[–]etaoinsrhd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The question is, which of the 40 Chads or baristas since then....

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

GET A DNA TEST!!!!! im screaming at the computer right now

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Not sure at what stage of the pregnancy I can get paternity testing or if I have to wait till birth but I'm looking into it and it is going to happen.

[–]Jessie_James 6 points7 points  (2 children)

My buddy went through this exact same scenario. Long story short, he was not convinced it was his kid (and you should not be either) and decided to get a paternity test done. It cost him something like $1k, but it can be done very early - I think he did it at month 2 or 3?

Turns out she was also fucking two other guys - one rando from a party, and the other was her drug dealer. She, of course, told my buddy that the baby was his, because he was making $80k+ or whatever, and the two other guys were deadbeats with no jobs.

The drug dealer was the real father.

So, scrape together your money, and tell her that it's great for her, but you want a paternity test done ASAP so you can "start planning for the family, but you have to be 100% sure it is your child."

If she refuses, tell her that's okay, but you will require one when the kid is born (or if she comes after you for child support). Break all contact until then.

[–]sehns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The sad part is the poor guys only 23 and been banging a 40 year old single mom. He isn't going to have the spine to speak with her like this like we would. If only I could do it for him.

[–]Whirly315 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey /u/outlandder I think the above advice is the absolute best way to handle this situation

[–]19yoManChild 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Get a paternity test through the courts. Don't give up and DO NOT wife this crazy ho just because you had a child with her.

Battle for visitation. Try to be in your child's life as much as you can.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorBlacklabellogics 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do not sign a birth certificate and demand a paternity test. I've seen fake positive pregnancy tests and fake ultrasounds before.

[–]Roaring40sUK 19 points20 points  (1 child)

In her mind it's some kind of miracle baby because of her age and symptoms of menopause that made her think she was infertile.

I call bullshit on this one.. she knew what she was doing..

[–]etaoinsrhd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I'm infertile, you don't have to wear a condom."

"Really? Why did the guy after me give you an ectopic pregnancy?"

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 21 points22 points  (0 children)

because of her age and symptoms of menopause that made her think she was infertile

She's been feeding you bullshit: 40 is nowhere near menopause.

Yes, the likelihood of pregnancy is lower compared to a 23 y.o. girl in her prime, but 40 year old women today are fertile and can get pregnant.

[–]GreatSmithanon 17 points18 points  (1 child)

You fucking idiot. Use a condom or don't dip your wick.

[–]sehns 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A bit late for that advice don't you think?

[–]wendysNO1wcheese 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Fuuuck, and I thought I hit a rocky road just recently. With her age and having another child that’s retarded, there is a good chance this one could be as well.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (13 children)

Every time I post this I get $10 from the American Federation of Urologists...

For every young man reading this, please consider getting a vasectomy. Imagine yourself in this young mans spot. Sit with it for a while, really get into the feeling of what this will mean for him.

There are two things that will fuck you up when having sex with plates. STD's and unwanted pregnancies. You are in complete control of one of these.

OP, congratulations.

[–]Tuga_Lissabon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

STDs are easier to deal with, all things considered.

[–]SCV70656 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I support this. I got one at 30, get it rechecked every year and have no chance of impregnating someone. Great feeling TBH, no amount of BC tampering can undo a vasectomy.

[–]Appleseed12333 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Hell it's not you can't ever have kids. Vasectomy doesn't stop sperm from being produced. Just takes a needle to have a kid. I don't know why every man doesn't get one whether he wants kids or not.

[–]yomo86 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Vasectomized (sic?) guy here. The sperm production stops over time like with any unused part of the body. Your testosterone stays the same, studies indicate it will even rise but are generally inconclusive.

Anyway, due to the fact that the produced sperm is nerver called upon your body reduces effort to produce then and after roughly 10 years (Source: pamphlet at the urologist) it will halt completly. Restarting it by reconnecting the pipes has a success rate of 40 %.

The needle method ie. sucking sperm out of your balls is a viable option within the 10 year time frame.

Lessons to be learned. Use cryogenics. My cost for keeping sperm in the lab are roughly $ 300 a year (less if you bind yourself to a period longer than 15 years) + $ 250 one-time-only fees like administration cost and purification of thr sperm.

[–]Appleseed12333 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I've spent past 2 hours researching whether time after vasectomy effects sperm production to a sufficient amount that it affects the effectiveness of sperm retrieval.

Only source I found stating an opinion is this: no effect/minimal


"Surgical sperm retrieval after previous vasectomy and failed reversal: clinical implications for in vitro fertilization"

If you be so kind as to post a source that the pamphlet/your urologist is using, that would be helpful as other studies I read stated reduced chance of pregnancy achieved with increased time since vasectomy, which has the added factor of increased female age. My study states solely viable sperm extraction, not pregnancy, reducing the factors involved.

<-also vasectomized


[–]yomo86 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I can't find my copy (I got rid of every piece of evidence except the final doctor letter which guarantees that I am infertile 3 month after the procedure). So I googled the acronyms of the short-term refertilization procedures.

Here is the study for sperm retrieval:


"Lin et al. analyzed 100 men with irreparable OA [obstructive azoospermia ie. natures DIY vasectomy] who underwent 109 ICSI cycles. The PESA SRR was 61%. MESA or testicular sperm extraction (TESE) were successfully performed if PESA failed. Fertilization and pregnancy rates were not significantly different for PESA-ICSI cycles (56 and 39%, respectively) and MESA-ICSI cycles (47 and 45%, respectively"

So the outcome of successfully having a fertilized egg are roughly 50%. You have to differentiate here. While a vasectomy means after 10 years even reconnecting the tubes will not produce sperm capable of doing the deed on the house the needle-in-the-sack-method has a 50% chance at max.

[–]Appleseed12333 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ok, as I stated before, I found studies talking about reduced chance of pregnancy. I'll break it down how I see your study.

"100 men with irreparable OA"

Essential had a vasectomy and it cant be reversed. This would indicate older men since vasectomy is highly reversible in first three+ years. Older men usually have older women partners. This would be a good reason pregnancy is reduced. The fact is right before the part you state, is this part

"The authors reported 100% recovery of motile sperm using these combined techniques."

If they can retrieve functional sperm regardless of time since vasectomy, then time since vasectomy must not impact fertility chances when using sperm extraction. I agree freezing is better 100%, but there is no 10 year limit to sperm retrieval as you stated.

[–]yomo86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep you are right. But 100 % recovery does not mean 100% pregnancy. Anyway you are right. I found on the page of my surgeon that in a 10yr timeframe vaso-vasecotmies ie reversals are said to be generally successful ie higher than 70 %

Source: http://www.northwestdavinci.com/health-library/hw-view.php?DOCHWID=hw7265 "Roncari D, Jou MY (2011). Female and male sterilization."

[–]SCV70656 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I have a batch at a lab now. 350$ a year and they just had a baby born with sperm frozen for 30 years so it will stay good long enough.

[–]StummpyTrump 16 points17 points  (3 children)

I had a similar experience, only she was a lot younger and, thankfully, didn't get pregnant.

I personally feel like trying to find nice quality girls for the long term is a better route than fucking the easiest girl you can get your hands on.

There is something nice about being with a nice girl that can't be replicated with mindless sex. Being an alpha is about having your shit in order and doing what makes you happy in the long term. People should remember that before they make a series of life changing mistakes in pursuit of easy pussy.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You've got the right idea. The risks of having a series of pump and dumps aren't worth it. Get options, get sexual market value and use it to satisfy your life goals, not hedonism. It's not worth it.

[–]Nodeal_reddit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wise words. I wish this viewpoint got more press with young guys.

[–]Areu4realm8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

some people are happy fucking multiple pussy tho.

[–]segagaga 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A) Why the hell did you not wear a condom?

B) Why the hell are you banging post-wall 40 year old single moms (who are desperate enough to fuck you over) when you are 23?

C) You could have at least knocked up a college-age girl and had a potential future family to look forward to.

D) Don't be him TRP.

[–]Reddthrown 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One more lesson: post-breakup unprotected sex is something they all seem to want (and know how to get). Do not fall for it.

[–]stickfiguresk 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Your life isn't over. I know guys with 6 kids and a new hoe every week. Your ass isn't locked into shit, or did you not get that lesson from TRP? Self respect and boundaries: get that shit.

On a side note, tell her it's gonna be a flipper baby because she's old, and that you NEVER considered seeing her for an extended period of time, and make her feel silly for EVER thinking differently. This is frame.

She should get an abortion like a responsible adult. My ex that works with autistic kids would chew that irresponsible old hag out.

taken from parenting.com:

About one-third of all pregnancies in women ages 40 to 44 end in miscarriage. There are several reasons: The eggs may be defective to start with, the uterine lining may not be thick enough, or the blood supply to the uterus may not be rich enough to sustain a pregnancy. The risks of placenta previa (in which the placenta lies low in the uterus, partly or completely blocking the cervical opening and creating a high risk of hemorrhage) and placental abruption (in which all or part of the placenta separates from the uterine wall) are also increased. Babies born to women in their 40s are also more likely to have lower birth weights (under 5 1/2 pounds).

Risks of chromosomal birth defects rise steadily with each year into your 40s. If you give birth at age 40, your baby has a 1 in 106 chance of being born with Down syndrome and a 1 in 66 chance of being born with any chromosomal abnormality. But by age 44, those risks rise to 1 in 38 and 1 in 26, respectively.

[–]1empatheticapathetic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been reading his post history. A long year of drama and he has had serious oneitis. She isn't gonna fall for a sudden cold shoulder.

[–]SovereignSoul76 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have an upvote for using the term "flipper baby".

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A little over a year ago I found this reddit.

I am 23 and a 40 year old single mother with 2 other kids is pregnant with my child.

Should have spend more time reading sidebar and applying, less time shitposting on threads

[–]mitzibishi points points [recovered]

Your own fault. You were aware of the traps. You even had a map of the minefield and you still stepped on a mine

[–]sweetleef 5 points6 points  (1 child)

There was an air-raid siren and a gigantic neon sign with a flashing arrow pointing at the mine.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mate, I'd question the pregnancy and make sure that's your kid, don't blindly take her word for it end of story. Don't let that be your new lesson you learn some time down the road.

[–]Grimsterr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here's what really happened, she missed a period, and her last few fucks were all total Chads who would fly like the wind at any mention of a kid, so she quickly texts you, sets up a pity fuck, somehow manages to talk you into going in bareback (I'm sure it wasn't hard) so she could tag you as the father.

I'd pretty much throw a $50 on the table that says this kid ain't yours and she had already missed a period before you guys fucked.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Well its too late for you. You're fucked.

But too everyone else let this be a lesson not to fuck around

[–]thelastjediinrogue1 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I think the real lesson here should be if you don't know the product of 23 and 2 you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce....

[–]19yoManChild 21 points22 points  (1 child)

46! I'm ready for some pussy.

[–]OrangeSn00py 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would suggest going to speak with a family attorney soon. 1) You definitely want to verify it's your child before anything and an attorney can probably tell you the best way to go about this whole situation, legally speaking. 2) if it does turn out to be your child and you want to be in his/her life (you seem like you wouldn't disown a child of yours) then you probably don't want your child to turn out dysfunctional like her's, AKA man up and own fatherhood. I have a few friends with children at your age- there are way worse things in the world. Also, like others say, don't wifey. It may seem like the world is over, but marrying a 40 year old chick at your age will most definitely hurt your long term prospects. This marriage would be a red flag to any potential future women in your life.

TL:DR Family Attorney, DNA Verification, Prayers, Don't Wifey Up

[–]Robotitties points points [recovered]

This is a big pile of shit you've landed in. Not only are you correct in advising that people shouldn't be you...YOU shouldn't be you. Don't sit there lamenting your lot online like this is Facebook. Get on the phone and find attorneys to consult. At the ultrasound, did the technician or doctor mention how many weeks the fetus is? Does that match up with your timeline?

I don't advocate using abortion for birth control - but you sound like you'd make a shit father at this point in your life and this chick sounds about as good for your potential child as a reticulated python. Straight up lie to her. Tell her you want to spend your life with her. Make her understand that giving birth at her age carries high risks of miscarrying or giving birth to a handicapped child. Question how you two are going to raise a child with extra needs with her chaotic life and children.

Unless of course you feel like you're ready to be a father. Then it's time to knuckle up and fight her to get custody of that child.

Either way. Talk to an attorney today.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's 6 weeks along and it matches up perfectly to the timeline as I understand it. I'm definitely looking into a lawyer to discuss my options. Her and I are also going to have a serious discussion soon and I'll be recording it. I've started recording our interactions as a default so that should I try to get custody later on I have evidence of her behaviour.

[–]Dada2fish 2 points3 points  (2 children)

" I went by her place a fortnight after the breakup to drop off her things. And without any form of protection, we had sex. A couple weeks later I get a text from someone not in my contacts with a picture of a positive pregnancy test. A week after that, I'm looking at an ultrasound of a little round smudge with a heart beat.. My little round smudge." If your timeline is accurate, you didn't get her pregnant on that last visit, because ultrasounds aren't done that early in pregnancy. I think it's like 12 weeks along. Maybe you got her pregnant before, or it's someone elses. Consider a dna test.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's an internal ultra sound for early pregnancy. Nothing is visible through the belly, they had to insert the scanner vaginally to see it and the guy doing the scan said it was 6 weeks along.

[–]Dada2fish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay. Well for future piece of mind, get a dna test anyway, then fight for custody and keep fighting. I hope you have a supportive family. You don't have to maintain a full relationship with her. Just keep it custodial if she's semi-crazy.

[–]cuck_killer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the paternity test is positive and it's 100% your baby I would just fork up the money for paternity or I'd leave the country in your case. Paying 25% of a good paying salary is better than marrying into this bullshit.

If it's not your baby you're a lucky bastard.

That part at the end with the dishes and cats. Holy fuck how did you fall in love and continue fucking that old rag????

[–]rossiFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IMO, getting a girl pregnant is a failure if it's not planned. Utter failure to protect your assets, your way of life, and your flexibility (aka freedom). It's a low-class move, but guess what - you now have to do your very best to raise this child. DO NOT do what other subcultures in the US do and leave your kid behind. Every kid needs a father.

[–]brinkleybuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

2 weeks later? So it didn't take a missed cycle for her to discover she was pregnant? You saw an ultrasound of your unborn child after a few weeks? It usually takes over a month to see anything on an ultrasound.

Time to call Maury. You were set up.

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well first off you're gonna wanna get that house of hers in order. get rid of the cats, have her clean up her shit, get her kids into therapy, probably get her into therapy, the works. if she isn't willing to make changes for the better you have to fight her for custody. frankly if it was me and i didn't get custody, i would simply take my kid and ghost.

[–]EscortSportage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reverts back to rule 1. Do not date/fuck single mothers.

[–]my_sfw_alias 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Thanks for the warning. My shitty day doesn't seem so bad anymore.

[–]1GroundhogLiberator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I was having a rough day because I dripped coffee on my tie.

I feel a lot better now.

[–]jdiez800 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Start a new life in another country.

[–]GoldAri7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing, man. Best of luck. And get a DNA certificate ASAP.

[–]Obwalden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tldr: some fuckhead smashed without protection and got someone pregnant

[–]brooklynisburnin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd sell everything and fly off to another country, at 23 yo. you can rebuild your life, fuck that kid.

[–]cryptoreporter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]Walkebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Single mom, 40, that I recently had sex with is claiming I'm the father." This should be the title. Or, if I was writing this post the title would be, "Random Internet guy convinced by a 40 year old single mom he recently had sex with that he's the father, in absence of baby's birth and any paternity action or dna testing: How a cuck is born every day?"

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just start living like you are a character in Game Of Thrones. Have sex with other women and still help raise this kid and have sex with the older woman too. Convince this woman she is in love with you, so she will let you do whatever you want. If she's good looking at 40, there's a good chance she will be fuckable at 60. I mean Dana Delany is hot and shes 60, Julia Louis Dryfuss is like 55 and she's still fuckable. You gotta make the best of this situation. Just go full Robert Baratheon and raise your kid, fuck this woman, and still fuck other women. It will probably cheaper in the long run than paying 18 years of child support. Besides, that's your smudge. Maybe one day that smudge will be your son that you play catch with. Or push the bitch down a flight of stairs, that's what MacGyver would do.

[–]joeyjojosharknado 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A 40 year old single mother isn't a 'plate', it's barely a masturbation substitute.

[–]MessyEnema 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're a dumbass.

You're not red-pill even in the slightest.

But what you should do of course is to vanish from her life; make it absolutely totally clear that you want nothing to do with her or the kid and if she comes after you for child support you will demand a DNA test and do the bare minimum to meet your obligations.

That might be enough of a shock to her system to realize she doesn't want to be a fresh single mother at 40 and flush it out. Stop engaging, it fuels her.

[–]grachuss 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Is there any way you could leave the city you're in, and move somewhere it would be difficult for her to find you?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

I could run but I can't morally accept the idea of her raising my child under the same circumstances which have clearly damaged her own children so severely. I don't want to subject my flesh and blood to the abuses (mental, environmental and with the number of strange men coming and going, probably physical) that I know her children have been through.

I just can't do it.

[–]mitzibishi points points [recovered]

Apply for full custody. She is a train wreck

[–]anon1moos 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure where she's at, but the chance of miscarriage in the first trimester is pretty high, and goes up as she gets older.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even higher when she accidentally falls down 4 flights of stairs

[–]DntPnicIGotThis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She could've been prego before the last encounter or it could be a mind fuck. Don't be a dead beat but until you know YOU are the father proceed with caution.

[–]NeoreactionSafe 0 points1 point  (0 children)


She's not going to abort. In her mind it's some kind of miracle baby because of her age and symptoms of menopause that made her think she was infertile.


Evidence that the Child Support Laws encourage bad behavior.

You are truly fucked... 18 years of slavery ahead which is enforced by the Family Court system. You cannot escape.


Note: A DNA test would be wise, do not volunteer to be the father without proof, but most 40 year old women lack options so the odds are you are the poor sucker who got her pregnant.


[–]wanderer779 0 points1 point  (0 children)

even if you can't force a dna test you can get one at the drugstore and do it yourself. You just swab the kid's cheek and send it off.

Unless you live in Europe since they outlawed DNA tests. Why should a guy have a right to know if a kid is his? That could fuck up the right of women to cheat on their husbands and stick them with the bill, right?

[–]ExplodingSamsung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn. I hope it all works out man. I'm 24. So this is a good reminder. On a side note, your bit about the state of her house reminded me about when I moved out for the first time.. Into the most disgusting house ever, but was too blind to notice because the extravagantly large clean bedroom I was getting gave me red-flag blinders. I moved out after a month. Thanks for reminding me.

[–]edward_wehr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) Try to make her abort. Tell her you are not going to stay with her romantically. Maybe she wants to keep the kid because she is hoping you committing to her. Also, lawyer up so that she sees you do not take it lightheartedly but will do everything to solve the situation. Also, tell her you don't believe it is your baby. 2) If she won't abort, get a DNA test asap. If the baby is yours try to get custody of the baby. 3) If you don't get custody, pay alimony for baby. Never marry the girl, do not even have a relationship with her.

[–]WhorehouseVet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe there are paternity tests that can be done early in the pregnancy, like when they draw amniotic fluid to test for genetic problems. Look it up and see if the Doctor can run those tests for you.

[–]Phixer7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get her the abortion pill, it's available for up to 10 weeks , no reason to ruin your life and some kids life.

[–]_penseroso_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to be banging chicks half your age...which means hotty 18 year olds only for around the next 13 years.

And as others have stated, the likelyhood this kid is yours is slim. She for sure banged other dudes when you first broke up. I wouldn't even be taking this seriously if I were you.

[–]Toussant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I see is [removed], is this archived anywhere?

[–]a_real_opinion 0 points1 point  (1 child)

LMAO. You're a fucking dumbass. Also, a 40 year old? Really? Disgusting. I wouldn't be able to get it up, let alone bust a nut in a granny like that.

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of 40 year old women have sweet bungholes and tight twats.

[–]cerhio 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Wow I was talking to someone about how fucked up the mentality of this sub is and how the advice will most likely get you into trouble with girls who are stupid enough to fall for these tricks and it actually happened!

I hope this is a wakeup call to anybody thinking that RPing is the way to meet a girl.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mentality is sound. OP didn't execute correctly and broke cardinal rules.

[–]DoctorBees69 0 points1 point  (2 children)

He didn't wear a condom, that's not TRP advice that's being a fucking idiot.

[–]cerhio 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He fucked a crazy girl. Why the fuck would she keep a baby?

[–]DoctorBees69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and thats not the mentality here.

[–]patrice_plz_come_bac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaa another one bites the dust!

[–]Bill_Gates187 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sucks thanks for sharing though i was wary of a girl who was 32 when i was 24. I knew she had a secret plan!

[–]79rustyk10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was with a 31 YO single mother, when I was 30. Bitch told me her plans. When what she said really sank in, I nexted her dumb ass. She was the one that actually led me to find TRP.

[–]2435734098 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tale of a guy who thinks he's "red pill" but sticks repeatedly into a SINGLE MOTHER, OLD HAG who will obviously do whatever she can to lock him down.

No, you weren't her 'alpha', she was just desperately trying to lock down anyone she could to provide for her children and you were the sucker who fell for it.

[–]Gemdiver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get an in vitro dna test done (ask the doctor), they can be done at the 7th-8th week. Whatever you do, don't celebrate by getting into a hot tub as often as possible and toasting with champagne! Use of a hot tub MAY result in miscarriage so be careful! hot tub time machine

Findings suggest an association between use of a hot tub or whirlpool bath during early pregnancy and the risk of miscarriage.

[–]H2offroad -1 points0 points  (7 children)

Unprotected sex 1 time? I have unprotected sex regularly with a rotation of girls, and that's never been an issue. Pull the fuck out

[–]SusanneHoeggerl 1 point2 points  (5 children)

You're probably just shooting blanks.

[–]H2offroad 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Maybe. But I'm not busting nuts inside

[–]SusanneHoeggerl 0 points1 point  (3 children)

And having boring sex. Precum is a thing.

[–]H2offroad 0 points1 point  (2 children)

LOL if the end of sex is the best part for you, you're the one having boring sex haha

[–]SusanneHoeggerl 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If precum is the end of sex for you, you're having really short sex.

[–]H2offroad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf are you talking about? You're an idiot. No one said that.

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