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Red Pill ExampleMan immediately breaks up with his girlfriend of 5 years after she suggests an open relationship. She doesn't understand why and is "heartbroken." (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by [deleted]

Here is a classic example of a woman attempting to have her cake and eat it too. She eventually deleted the post because of the negative backlash in the comments.
This being the internet, a kind soul took a picture of the post which you can see here: http://imgur.com/a/Sw8fC
Essentially, this woman thought it was a good idea to bring up the idea of an open relationship to her boyfriend of 5 years. According to her, he is "amazing" i.e. good job, great sex, good family, etc. She just wanted to have purely physical sex with other men, but it would go "both ways" as if that made it any better.
He knew what this meant, that she already had a guy (or guys) in mind and was looking for an excuse to cheat. He breaks up with her on the spot and she apparently is "heartbroken" and doesn't understand why he would end a 5 year relationship over something "so small."
Of course, the reasoning eludes her completely. Not once does she think of how he is feeling, only that she has been crying for days and is completely upset. She doesn't think that to him, her wanting an open relationship meant that it was only a matter of time before she cheated.
If he said yes, someone else would be plowing his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway. He did the only thing he could and dumps her. He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.
She tries to justify it by saying as a response to one of the comments, "I just wanted to talk about it. If he was into it, great. If not, then also great." Again, she doesn't understand that the second she mentioned "open relationship" it was over. No one can trust their girl anymore after she mentions that.
Bottom line: Your girl may or may not cheat (or want to cheat). If she does and comes to you with some bullshit like this, cut your losses and get out.

[–]Titanstone 667 points668 points  (25 children)

What a goddamn champion. He knows when to get the fuck out and how to do it correctly. Fucking ghost that bitch so hard she ends up on a paranormal TV show.

[–]RookFellar 134 points135 points  (9 children)

He taught me a lesson on when to end relationship

[–][deleted]  (8 children)

[deleted]

    [–]BluestBlackBalls 36 points37 points  (4 children)

    If he's a real man, he'll let her have it.

    Does anyone else feel nauseated whenever they encounter this phrase, "...a real man."

    Every time I hear it, I feel like a former cigarette smoker walking into a smoker's house.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]rossiFan 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      I read "2 frilly Priuses". Also applies.

      [–]AlwaysFlank 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I aspire to be as strong as this man one day

      [–]Tuga_Lissabon 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      This is an old one.

      The problem is that it is still notable for its rarity. The recent stories are on the opposite side - like the guy who accepted to share his wife and shit like that.

      So - top billing for that guy, perfect pass. Bad sign that there are no more recent ones like this.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I wish I had the balls to be that brutal with entitled girls who were objectively crossing the limit of common sense with me. Instead of just calling them out and talking (even briefly) which lead to nothing obviously.

      No => GTFO and dont you dare even talking to me again

      [–]BobbyPeru 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      B-b-b-but it's not her fault.

      Nobody can lie better than a chick lying to herself.

      [–]rossiFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Technically, it's not her fault on a conscious level. It's in their DNA.

      [–]recon_johnny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I know this was posted previously, however I enjoy it every time I see it.

      I wish OP could have listed the comments. Those were glorious.

      [–]captainsaveahoe69 84 points85 points  (4 children)

      Shit test nuked from orbit.

      [–]Th3R00ST3R 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      It's' the only way to be sure.

      [–]Tenth_10 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Wasn't a shit test, she wasn't testing him IMHO. She made a project and was going for his green light. But it still was the appropriate response.

      [–]iceblasta14 138 points139 points  (6 children)

      The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it. No doubt there was some BP in the comments that told her it wasn't her fault and that her ex is being completely unreasonable. The guy handled it like a champ, GTFO as soon as he learned that she wasn't faithful.

      [–]thebrandedman 38 points39 points  (0 children)

      I was amazed. Full blown scorched earth, absolutely beautiful.

      [–]says_harsh_things 15 points16 points  (2 children)

      Betas and white knights always encourage the breakup though. Half the time they follow it up with "pm me if you want to talk and happen to be near X zip code".

      Theyre like fucking vultures.

      [–]Fedupandlost 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I wonder if any of them have actually had success with that strategy lol; I'm guessing either nothing or they got scammed.

      [–]omigahguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      "The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it."

      Let others do the talking...almost always works to your advantage...even if it takes time.

      [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 100 points101 points  (4 children)

      This guy did awesome. "You see me as beta bucks now so I'm packing my bags".

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]1OneRedSock 129 points130 points  (3 children)

        An instant classic, and a great reminder.

        If a woman ever brings up this type of topic, it's always better to listen instead of immediately shutting down the conversation with a hard line opinion. They'll openly admit to red flags, then you can make your move based on what they say. Maintaining a playful, nonchalant demeanor while probing further into the topic will result in a lot of free information about who this person really is.

        Whatever type of relationships you pursue with women, whether plates or LTR, always foster open dialogue, but never give up more information than they do. Remember, it's not a debate -- people rarely deviate from their belief systems. You take the info and make the best move for you.

        [–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

        An EC has asked me to point you for this comment.

        [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 16 points17 points  (0 children)

        If a woman ever brings up this type of topic

        If a woman is taking about it, she has already been thinking about it. If she has been thinking about it, she wants it. If she wants it, there is no floor in how far she will stoop to get it; the only question is if there are road blocks to achieve it. Public shaming and the stocks did a good job keeping women (mostly) faithful. With the barriers being deconstructed in modern society, men have no choice but to assume IT WILL HAPPEN. His reaction was as if it was actually happening which is exactly the right reaction.

        [–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (15 children)

        If I'm this guy (and I would do the same exact thing), I am waking up super grateful every day for at least the next year. Knowing that she showed me her hand BEFORE any legal commitment, especially with how "well" things had been for FIVE years? What a fucking blessing for this guy, because, based off of her description of the relationship, everything was great, so I'm guessing she played the part REAL well.

        Then again, he probably noticed other small things over the years that tipped him off slightly and this probably just confirmed for him that she is not worth it. Either way, have to be happy when they show who they really are so as to leave no doubt what your next move is.

        [–]Funfundfunfcig 17 points18 points  (3 children)

        based off of her description of the relationship, everything was great, so I'm guessing she played the part REAL well.

        Nah, it was great because she currently thinks she fucked up and wants him back. If the hamster would spin in other direction, we'd be hearing how he was an inconsiderate jerk because he didn't want to argue with her for no reason.

        [–]AlwaysFlank 8 points9 points  (9 children)

        How do you not get angry at "well, there goes five wasted years I'll never get back"?

        [–]Bisuboy 18 points19 points  (6 children)

        If you think like that it is always going to cost you. Losses that lie in the past are gone forever. If you still think of them and try to recover them, then you are a broken man.

        For example, if you lose 10k at the stock market, it's gone. It is sunken cost. If you think you have to get those 10k back as fast as possible, you are probably going to lose even more.

        [–]AlwaysFlank 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        Money is one thing, but how do you drop five years worth of emotional investment in an instant?

        [–]Bisuboy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        I don't know, and I hope I won't need to do it. However, you can take comfort in the thought that breaking up with such a whore probably saved you a lot of money, time and emotional damage.

        You were on the wrong way and you realized it 5 years in. Ideally you should have realized it 5 years earlier, but on the other hand you could have realized it 5 years later (so you would have wasted 10 years in total) and your situation would be much worse by then. You could literally be in a happy marriage and have 2 children.

        [–]AlwaysFlank 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        True, I suppose it's all perspective and you always have to look at the positives. Thanks for the answer

        [–]endogenic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When you say emotional investment, are you talking about actual love you practiced for her (such as teaching), or are you talking about an attachment / affection that you have, i.e. idealism?

        One thing to remember is that when people purchase stocks with the intent of selling them at a profit (or doing the same effective thing with options, et al) they are actually engaging in speculation… not investment.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        Because if you internalize "she is not yours, it's just your turn" it will make sense. To get out unscathed? Shit, man. Most guys would love for that.

        Also, how are you not angry? Because he is clearly a desirable male, probably late twenties? Going back to the market at this point will be fun for this guy.

        [–]AlwaysFlank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Internalize trp, become desirable. I see it. Thanks

        [–]Dravous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Then again, he probably noticed other small things over the years that tipped him off slightly and this probably just confirmed for him that she is not worth it.

        I strongly suspect this as well. a man who can drop a 5 year relationship on the spot is almost super human....unless he's seen the writing on the wall already and she just confirmed it.

        [–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (19 children)

        As with anything, when a woman resorts to direct, overt communication, it's because it's already too far gone.

        • If she needs space, it's because she already broke up in her mind, and usually has the next beau lines up
        • If she is considering an open relationship, she already have D+1 in mind

        Women don't do uncertainty, and risk, they do certainty. I guarantee she gave subtle hints leading up to, whether he caught them or not, who knows? It was going nowhere, she she got desperate, switched to overt communication.

        [–]Redditisfullofcucks 89 points90 points  (1 child)

        If she needs space

        http://i.imgur.com/Xzxt1gI.jpg

        [–]Enlightened_Chimp 19 points20 points  (0 children)

        Space is pretty goddamn alpha, not gonna lie

        [–]AncientScrolls 30 points31 points  (14 children)

        The funny thing is it looks like she clearly cant notice that she lost the attraction that she used to feel to him and now sees him as a beta bux. This is not the first time i see somehting like this. Sometimes I feel girls have a hard time seeing what their personality is like.

        [–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (11 children)

        I don't even think about that stuff. Just like the guy in the story.

        You're heavily focused on understanding her thoughts, pointing out where she fucked up. It's her frame, all about 'her'. Instead of focusing and framing it in femenine-centric terms (fem-centric can be good or bad, but focused on the woman) frame it as a man, with your own mental point of origin.

        He has standards, boundaries, and non-judgemental about them. It wasn't throwing away 5 years of value, it was cutting losses and moving on. I'll never know if he gave it a second thought, but in an ideal word, it was if it never existed.

        Granted, it sounds as if he has a good circle of friends, who have his back, probably bought the scotch, and gave him a couch to have his afternoon of vulnerability, before picking himself up and starting again.

        That's the story, thats the narrative, and thats how an RP focus works. Male solipsism, because someone has to focus on you.

        [–]AncientScrolls 9 points10 points  (10 children)

        I know Its wrong to focus on this stuff. Its just that every time I see stories like this It makes me question if women can ever be worth our time for other things besides sex and breeding, since its clear women have a hard time understanding concepts like loyalty and respect. Its kinda creepy. It looks as if every Women have some sociopath/autistic traits. I´m not trying to defend them on the opposite I´m just saying female brains looks so fucked up and bizarre sometimes.

        To put in a better analogy Its like something is missing in their mind like a "gear". Its like as if they are just a software computer and cant evolve or do anything beyond what they were programmed to do.

        As for the guy I´m glad he knew how to handle with RedPill mentality the situation and had friends to help him out ditch this bitch.

        [–]BoatingMishap 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        Women handle loyalty and respect just fine. It's just their version of loyalty and respect hangs on your ability to man up. They can't respect or be loyal to someone whose weaker than them. They also cant do it, if they're already damaged.

        If you're looking for long term girlfriend material, go find a wholesome hobby or group. Find a woman who has a lot of religious conviction. Watch out for the warning signs. The biggest one for me is getting drunk. If a woman gets drunk, they're not a good woman.

        The biggest thing you can do is just go out an date. Every time you're let down, write down what made her an asshole to you. Next time you date, watch for those warning signs, until you've whittled it down to a fine art. Never get married, and always wear a condom. Most of all, have fun. If it's not fun, then whats the point?

        [–]lemming1607 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        If you find a woman that thinks like a man, shes a man, not a woman. They are what they are, dont overthink it.

        [–]killking72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        The good ol hot/crazy matrix

        [–]weakandsensitive 18 points19 points  (6 children)

        I see stories like this It makes me question if women can ever be worth our time for other things besides sex and breeding, since its clear women have a hard time understanding concepts like loyalty and respect.

        That's not the point of women. If you want a man in your life, be a fag.

        This mentality screams autistic and socially retarded. If you think women don't understand loyalty and respect, you're hanging around other autists too much. Their drivers for loyalty and respect aren't the same. Again though, that's a YOU problem.

        [–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        He's not being autistic. Loyalty and respect are male traits that were bred through war.

        https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/

        [–]zephyrprime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well you criticized a lot but still didn't actually answer any of his questions. Do you got the answers or not?

        [–]zephyrprime 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        They really do have a hard time seeing their own personality. They have a lower level of self awareness. That's what makes solipsism possible. I wish I understood how the gears could turn in their heads to make this possible.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is probably the most insightful comment I've come across on this sub.

        [–]elcarlosmiguel 107 points108 points  (4 children)

        This hoe would win gold medal at mental gymnastics olympics Lmao

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]Magnum007 23 points24 points  (0 children)

          "I invited them over, got naked but it was rape I swear"

          [–]NibblyPig 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          If you treated me well for a change

          [–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 60 points61 points  (3 children)

          Oldie but goodie from 2013. I believe we've discussed this one a few times but I can't find any submissions after a brief search. Here's an archive: https://archive.fo/WhogR

          [–]asktrpthrow123 24 points25 points  (0 children)

          A wild alpha male has appeared.

          [–]Lsegundo 26 points27 points  (5 children)

          There is red gold in her post too!

          He hates fighting and never raises his voice.

          Rock solid frame.

          dude tells the gf "I have nothing against women that sleep around as long as they are open about it."

          Was this indirection so she would open up to him instead of cheating behind his back? Law 3 - Conceal your Intentions, Law 24 Play the Perfect Courtier, master the art of indirection.

          Should you tell LTRs:

          • If you cheat on me its over instantly

          or

          • If anyone cheated on me Id be deeply hurt. We would have to have a long discussion to see if the relationship could be saved (knowing full well you will actually apply the first option and ghost her ass immediately)

          Since then he blocked me from calling and on all social media and won't speak to me. I don't know where he is staying. His friends will not talk to me and come to get his stuff (this was a live in gf)... The chick is stalking him at work, but the receptionist will not let her in.... all I do is cry and cry and cry.. I just want to hear his voice...

          Ghosted! A+++ move. Any attempt to engage the hamster in conversation about this will lead to psychological manipulation about how he is a shitlord and oppressing her. The conversation will lead to her feeling good about the breakup and him feeling like even more shit than he already feels. Its harsh, but the best move for him in this situation. Always leave them wanting more. The forecast calls for 95% chance of alpha-widowing.

          asked about throwing away 5 years over nothing the dude replies "he is not throwing anything away. He is cutting his loses"

          correct mind set.

          I dont know what to do.. some friends tell me what do you expect... others are there for me

          Modern feminism ruins another relationship. She can't see it but asking to get plowed by random dudes means the intimacy is finished and there is no point continuing the relationship. The dudes turn has ended. He recognized this and handles it like a man.

          [–]logicalthinker1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          And ghosting is important not simply because it's sweet revenge, but because any little contact has a chance of sucking you back into the relationship. Once she proves herself unworthy, there's literally no reason to waste your precious time with her for any reason.

          [–]Assassin1476 110 points111 points  (14 children)

          This dude just did the Future Trunk's, slice and dice to this bitch and his relationship. Didn't waste no time at all!

          [–]alltrueism 30 points31 points  (12 children)

          Ever notice how Bulma hamsters her relationship with Vegeta?

          [–]Assassin1476 64 points65 points  (11 children)

          What I've noticed is how bulma left sorry, weak ass beta Yamcha for Mr. Steal yo gurl, stoic, alpha, why cant I SURPASS KAKAROT, Vegeta.

          [–]WhorehouseVet 16 points17 points  (3 children)

          Not to mention he's a goddamn prince.

          [–]TyrannyVengeance 15 points16 points  (2 children)

          Of a planet that doesn't exist.

          [–]TedCruzEatsBoogers2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Even better, that makes it "mysterious"

          [–]Bodybuilder1453 15 points16 points  (1 child)

          Damn that guy was a true smart fella. I respect him for his wise decision. Also fuck that bitch, got what she deserves.

          [–]Dude12876 14 points15 points  (0 children)

          now this is how man with fucking testosterone handle woman respect

          [–]BuckStricklandx 12 points13 points  (1 child)

          I love how the very first way she describes him is "has a good job"

          [–]Neutral_User_Name 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Struck me like a truck, too. Yep, gender equality, my a**.

          [–]1Your_Coke_Dealer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          This shit's so classic, it's probably what got a good chunk of us to TRP in the first place

          [–]morexel 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          You are lucky if this happens to you. Better to be given overt warning than cheated on and deal with gaslighting.

          [–]PMmeareasontolive 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Yeah- I appreciate her honesty. And I'm sympathetic to the idea of wanting more than one dick in your lifetime. Now I'm old and don't care so much but when I was young I had to end a few relationships because I needed to know what sex was like with another person. Are you really going to be satisfied at that age with one sex partner for the rest of your life? I don't know about others but my answer is "no". How do you deal with that if you aren't poly?

          [–]goldnhorde 10 points11 points  (6 children)

          I didn't see anyone cover a few points which I would like to.

          1. I love the cut off. just total cut off. and a good enough guy to NOT talk about it with her friend. just BANG!!!

          2. No one, man or woman, brings up an open relationship without being at least 75% sure that a target they already have in mind is going to sleep with them.

          3. I love her claim that "hey ... it goes both ways". first, by bringing it up, she proves via rule 2 that she already has someone she is going to cheat with ... and that is if she hasn't already. but here is the real hurdle. While BOTH are free to have this open relationship .... the man still has to go out and hunt and earn a pussy ... girl just has to say yes.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

          [removed]

            [–]DesignerTom 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            Interesting point about how she probably has a guy already in mind that she wants to fuck. Is this often the case like you say? The way I interpreted it is that the girl expects to find a guy willing to fuck her, I mean it is easy for a girl to get laid. Therefore she doesn't need to have anyone in mind, she can just load up tinder and find a guy the same day. So, therefore she may be more sincere in this than wanting to fuck Chad from work.

            [–]Lsegundo 10 points11 points  (2 children)

            He knew what this meant, that she already had a guy (or guys) in mind and was looking for an excuse to cheat. He breaks up with her on the spot...

            BOSS! I am sure it wasn't easy to dump a 5 year relationship. It is funny how everything is going down the shitter. A decade or two ago it would have been obvious that asking to open a 5 year relationship means it is over. In 2017 the woman is confused why dude doesn't want some other guy ramming his cock into his gfs mouth.

            it was only a matter of time before she cheated. If he said yes, someone else would be plowing his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway. He did the only thing he could...

            The only thing he should do. Being the cuck is the other option.

            He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.

            DOUBLE BOSS! The guy knows it is going to be drama city. He might cry, end up in bed with her and take her back.

            she doesn't understand that the second she mentioned "open relationship" it was over. No one can trust their girl anymore after she mentions that.

            This is nothing more than "branch swinging with a safety net" The dude knows this and handled it like a champ. Be like the dude. Never be some hos safety net.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

              [–]BonelessSkinless 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              Exactly. Women need to understand that if you wanna be a slut then then you do it solo. Don't bother getting into a relationship because that open relationship, multiple partners bullshit is a one way ticket to being single unless she's with a beta, cuck, pathetic fucking idiot. Let's prove how strong our bond is by me going to some other guys house that you don't know and letting him shove his dick in my mouth while I stick a finger in his ass. Yep sure shows relationship solidarity all right, get the fuck out.

              [–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (2 children)

              This guy reads TRP, I guarantee it.

              [–]XZTALVENARNZEGOMSAYT 11 points12 points  (0 children)

              We know you're reading this, guy!

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

              [–]Magnum007 14 points15 points  (0 children)

              I think a wheel barrel to help carry his balls is more appropriate.

              [–]StummpyTrump 32 points33 points  (7 children)

              Open relationships are a rotten deal for men. Essentially the woman wants the security of a stable relationship with the pleasure and excitement of being a complete whore.

              The man gets nothing. There's no guarantee the woman will stay loyal to the man and she is likely to jump ship as soon as a better option appears. There's no foreseeable point where the "experience" ends, it could go on indefinitely. She will never be yours again and you'll never regain your self-respect.

              Agreeing to such a relationship is agreeing to be a cuckold. You're that woman's backup plan.

              Don't do it, don't even entertain the idea and definitely don't propose it to your girlfriends.

              [–]AnindoorcatBot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              my best friend started dating a married woman in an open relationship, she let OP husband know they were getting a divorce in january. Now they don't have a pesky husband competing for time.. shit they're on the phone right now.

              :l

              I mean, op husband & I had some fun banging tinder whores every weekend but I don't think he wanted a divorce! Open relationship was his idea, too.

              [–]asktrpthrow123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Don't forget, it's much easier for a girl to bang random guys within the week, whereas for the average guy he'll have to start cultivating options again.

              [–]toadstule 0 points1 point  (3 children)

              Been a good deal for me. That's why I proposed it to her. Told her if she didn't want one I'd stay monogamous for her and I meant it. She agreed she also would stay monogamous for me if required. But it wasn't required so we've had some fun. I've fucked five other girls she's fucked two other guys and we had a threeway with her female friend. Either of us can end it and go back to monogamy at any time. We still fuck each other all the time and neither of us is a backup plan.

              Of course the willingness to be monogamous forever if required was key. If she'd come to me and said she needed an open relationship I would've ended it right then and there, and I would expect the same from her.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              you're also dreading the fuck out of her.

              [–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 9 points10 points  (1 child)

              The guy did the right thing. If you willingly stand on quicksand youre nothing but a fool.

              [–]FloridaNSUplz 13 points14 points  (9 children)

              I've read this somewhere. This has been posted a few times actually, but I've never seen the comments to that thread.

              [–]1Your_Coke_Dealer 20 points21 points  (1 child)

              Tl;dr the chick gets BTFO by everyone, because she fucking deserved it

              [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

              Am I allowed to post a link to a different sub in the comments? If so, I have the original thread link.

              [–]FloridaNSUplz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              I'm not sure. Pretty sure the automod automatically removes any links.

              [–]AnindoorcatBot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              archive it and post archive link.

              also the admins have their hands full with the donald so posting dead thread links in here probably isn't the biggest deal but archive would save anyones ass from automods iron fist.

              [–]Docbear64 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Someone Posted this higher up : https://archive.fo/WhogR

              [–]jolly--roger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              it's from 2013 and I remember it too. a TRP classic, reposted once in a while to a fresher audience.

              [–]mansmanifesto 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Very admirable move from the guy. I know most men would stick around, but as King-Macbeth pointed out, it doesn't matter if he said no. The idea is already out there, i.e. he knows that she is very much capable of fucking other guys.

              I had a girl that I was together with for a pretty long time, who called me one day and said that she had an idea of how to finance her (whatever she was trying to get money for) and the idea was to go out on dates with guys for money...

              it didn't take much thinking from my side before I broke off all ties with her, even though I had a lot of emotional investment in her...

              A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              Props to the dude but must be shit for him too. Sounds like he'll be alright though.

              [–]BigSloppySunshine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

              This guy is awesome. It's good to see a bastion of intelligence in the sea of complete morons.

              If some other dude's gonna be fucking your girlfriend there's absolutely no reason to keep her around.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 4 points5 points  (28 children)

              Excuse my stupid question but in this situation what is the best 'attitude' to have when leaving.

              Whenever I leave a 'paring' (of any type) I always tend to have a 'friendly' good bye and say "hey this was a great time/experience. Hope you have a great time doing 'whatever'. See ya round" or something but I think this hurts my power when exiting such a pairing. It seems that going completely silent is super butthurt and I naturally tend to try and give some closure, which I've learned isn't really that helpful.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 12 points13 points  (15 children)

              I think this hurts my power when exiting

              Logically, if you're exiting a pairing and just being civil in the process, it doesn't 'hurt your power' because the relationship is already finished - you don't need power anymore, because the game is over.

              It becomes a problem when women try to exploit that friendly goodbye into 'staying friends' which means 'still doing them favors, just without the sex'. If you suspect it might go that way, then just go no-comms and be done.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (14 children)

              I guess I asked the wrong question. I agree if I have zero care about this person then I will naturally go zero contact as I don't care. But I meant to ask using it as a power play. Going silent seems butthurt whereas openly showing I 'am unaffected' seems more powerful. Or am I being stupid by 'trying' to show anything at all. This is something I've had trouble deciding on since TRP.

              [–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 0 points1 point  (9 children)

              I'm not sure if I understand you:

              Are you asking how to behave when you're breaking up with a girl, or a girl is breaking up with you?

              If so, then like I said: it doesn't matter much whether you act butthurt or friendly, because it's over.

              If you're asking how to behave in between hookups or dates, then that's an entirely different thing.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (8 children)

              Ha I'm asking using the threat of walking away as a power play. This guy simply walked away so who cares how he acted. What if I want to show that I'm prepared to walk away unless she shapes up. What's the best 'demeanour' to have to show that I'm not joking but I'm not butthurt either way.

              [–]2Overkillengine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              threat of walking away as a power play.

              If you have to overtly use such a threat, you've already lost her, just cut your losses and move on in silence.

              [–]yes_we_can_t 0 points1 point  (5 children)

              There's nothing wrong with making statements that define your boundaries, e.g. "I'd immediately leave any woman who would [...]" in response to discussing some abstract situation. I have done that several times after reading some stupid relationship post, and it just seem to work like a basic dread game. It displays an abundance mentality.

              However, you seem to be talking about something that annoys you that you would like to change about her. Or she cheated, or implied that she would, or whatever. Then you have to understand that the answer is she will never change and you should just leave.

              In addition to the myth that one day your life will be fundamentally different, you may believe, and hope, that one day your woman will be fundamentally different. Don't wait. Assume she's going to be however she is, forever. If your woman's behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her, and don't look back (since you cannot change her). However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way: The feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (4 children)

              Basically to shed all the mystery I am talking about how I cut contact with my oneitis pre TRP and I still think about it. She started misbehaving to see what I would do so I sent a message that was basically a goodbye message but in good spirits (because I'm not going to waste time arguing or lose frame), "I had a good time. Hope you find what you're looking for" etc. It was a last chance for her to make an effort to fix her end up: it had a dual possibility purpose. She replied with an apology and how she'd shape up but it just felt too insincere to me so I left her message unread and moved on (to nothing).

              My question was: does sending a kind goodbye message as a power play in the situation I described above project weakness and beta behaviour or does it display the non-butthurtness that it was intended. Strange question I know.

              [–]yes_we_can_t 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              If that was your entire message, it was perfectly fine. It's basically a polite next. If it was actually long and sappy, it would probably be better if you didn't send it.

              You should not have sent it "with a dual purpose"; you know you had already made the right decision to cut contact with her. Who wants that kind of annoyance in their life? Anyway, since you didn't end up playing her game it ended up being just for the single purpose anyway.

              Now stop giving any more thought about how you appeared to her. That's the only "beta behaviour" part of this. Also, next time just give the details immediately, so people don't have to guess wtf you really mean to give you good advice.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Well it was pre TRP and I didn't know AWALT, and it's pretty much the first girl I was in such a situation with. The message was longer and and more beta but that was the jist. She easily had the opportunity to improve herself but she had lost interest in me I guess. She was a slut anyway.

              [–]BonelessSkinless 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              "She started misbehaving to see what I would do"

              So then why would you be kind in your goodbye? I understand you had lingering attachments, positive feelings and maybe even happy memories with that girl... but if she's blatanty acting up to the point you're aware of it she's not just doing it as a shit test... she doesn't give a fuck about you anymore (as her main guy for the moment). You seemed weak. I gurantee you she doesn't feel bad at all and you sending her off in a kind manner even enables her shitty behavior further. Should have just cut your losses completely and dipped.

              [–]TedCruzEatsBoogers2 0 points1 point  (3 children)

              I think this dude could leave angry. This girl lied about the type of girl she was and wasted his time since he's obviously looking for someone who is wife-able material. That is 5 years of wasted time which is a pretty justifiable reason to be angry without being considered petty.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

              Being angry gives her hamster fuel to turn the situation into something that she can justify "he was too controlling!". I understand stoic but to me stoic can also be interpreted as butthurt.

              [–]TedCruzEatsBoogers2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Well definitely don't angrily argue with her. Beyond that, who cares what she says. Just get your shit and leave. I don't think what emotion you're showing matters all that much as long as you stick to your logically derived conclusion that all further interactions with this woman are a waste of your time.

              [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

              You can basically do whatever as long as your completely emotionless. This guy was basically as close to perfect as you can get. So much so that she admitted to stalking his work because she was so distraught.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              The question I'm asking basically is how fine is the line between emotionless and butthurt.

              [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

              I think this is a case of doing the best you can. My personal experience is that amused mastery wins in most situations, including a breakup. The most devastating thing you can do to a women is make her think you don't care at all and leaving is no big deal, which is what leaving with a smile and no butthurt is.

              however, amused mastery, especially at the end of a ltr is not easy for most people to pull off. but, what more people find possible is emotionlessness, or at least, no contact. It's not quite as perfect, but still effective, and is easier for people to do.

              NC will at least keep you from falling into the trap of trying to get back together, or get closure, or other such bullshit.

              it's the idea that...sure, maybe 5-6 days in the gym is what you should be doing, but 3-4 will still get you good results and is more than most people can manage.

              [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Great that's what I was looking for. Cheers

              [–]WhorehouseVet 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Be stoic, like you're dropping off garbage at the dump, because that's all she's to you now.

              [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

              I like to take the disappointed dad approach. Silent and serious. Make her feel disappointment...

              [–]M0RKET 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I feel it depends on the severity of the other party's transgressions (if any). If possible, I prefer to not burn bridges, and it's something I had to learn to do, because my natural inclination is to be brutal and dramatic. Time passes, and over time you forget the pain associated with a person. You had something in common to begin with, and it's more than can be said on average of total strangers walking on the street. It may be worth not treating a person you used to be close with like one of the strangers. You never know. They might hook you up with a job opportunity, or invite you to an event they organize where you might meet somebody cool. Multiplied by time and by multiple people abandoned, it adds up to a lot of potentially wasted opportunities.

              That said, if they demonstrated through their actions cruelty, disrespect or malevolence, then fuck 'em. You're better off without a painful reminder in your life. And you're better off without people who do you harm. Just cut them out of your life cold turkey.

              Like another comment said, at this point the power plays are already irrelevant in a practical, pragmatic sense. But they still matter for your self esteem and for how you view and feel about yourself. This is very important. If you thinks you're better off without a person looking forward, it's fine to indulge in your petty urges, because why not?

              [–]BonelessSkinless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Don't be friendly or nice. Don't be afraid to be mean or an asshole because you're not. When you leave things nicely like that you enable the whore into thinking what she was doing wasn't that bad. Just fucking be as mean as possible or just cut it and ghost, don't even give time for bullshit on her end.

              [–]falconpush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I do the same when leaving. I had an Ex leave me and move on to another guy, but never really fully explained what happened between us. Since that time, i have always offered closure to my Exes if they wanted it ( it would have made the grieving process easier for me at that time). Ive just always been a fan of open communication. But im not quite sure where this leaves me.

              [–]Tuga_Lissabon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Good, neutral attitude. Make civil noises.

              Then be just you know, too busy to catch up. Modern life is such a hustle.

              Sort of like a facebook friend, really - the bare appearance, none of the reality.

              [–]jcrpta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              He did. He told her to have a nice life then left.

              Anything beyond that is simply enabling her behaviour.

              [–]RedPimpin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              also something to consider is that the woman claims he's "so alpha" etc AFTER he dropped her like a bad habit (aka showed alpha traits) so obviously she talks from the perspective of her feels in the present moment and doesn't consider how she felt before she brought it up to him, she probably thought he's a chump but turns out he's a champ

              [–]nantucketghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              deleted REMOVED BY AUTOSCRIPT - GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

              [–]Purecorrupt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              "Cutting losses while I can."

              Fuck I need to learn to do this with my stocks. Holding too many bags and then falling knife happens.

              Good for that guy though. He's not stuck in the sunk cost fallacy.

              "If he was into it, great. If not, then also great."

              Why you gotta be a habitual line stepper! Kids do this a lot. To see what they can get away with. It's like poking a bear. She tries so hard to rationalize it, but she crossed a line she knew she couldn't cross. She knew he was "traditional". Like a great salesman she went with the it can benefit both of us!

              Now that she's experienced what she painted as a great relationship I wonder if she'll ever be satisfied with future ones. #AlphaWidow?

              [–]stonecats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              my guess is she had been taking him for granted for a while,
              and this was just the last straw - so he cut bait and ran.
              she imagines some great reconciliation would fix this,
              she is oblivious to how selfish she's been all along.

              [–]Bielzabutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Ya that guy is my hero. That girl's post should be skywritten over all major cities.

              [–]HeinousFu_kery 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              A couple of observations:

              • She was already sleeping with someone and wanted ex post facto approval to do so - I guarantee it. No woman is going to jeopardize her current position without a backup. He should get tested for STDs just to play it safe.

              • Sending a friend for stuff (unless it's just a couple of things) is a good idea but kind of lame. Bringing one or several friends as help/BS detectors/witnesses is a better idea.

              [–]asotranq 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              I actually read that post in full and pretty much got up and did a round of applause for that guy, wow that is some fucking justice right there. The moment someone suggest an open relationship the relationship they're in is over, assuming both parties aren't cool with that. There's not a doubt in my mind that this issue would not have reared its ugly head again, good on this guy for not falling for the sunk cost fallacy, the right one is out there for him somewhere.

              [–]1htbf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              Oh my God is that sentence perfect. It's the most important thing in the whole post :

              He's amazing - great job, family and friends love him, intelligent, attractive, supportive and sex life is great.

              The order with which she laid it out is so fucking representative of how a woman loves a man.

              She started with the job, also known as wealth.

              She then moved on about how his family and friends love him, also known as social status.

              Sex is last on the list even though he's great at it (he's probably not THAT great).

              [–]bowie747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              This guy knows what's up. Bravo

              [–]Corruptdead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Fucking AWALT especially the part about her both considering his feelings. Girls will always put themselves before you so return the favour and never get attached or give her that comfort.

              [–]EducationFool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Id love to see the comments

              [–]throwawaydefriended 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Is there a backup/archived link that includes the comments?

              EDIT: I saw you said you have the link, can you PM it if the bot disallows posting it?

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              Probably gonna get downvoted, but I've had similar thoughts while dating an ex girlfriend. It was my first relationship and I loved her but I also was interested in knowing what it's like to have sex with other girls.

              Of course I was never actually dumb enough to bring it up, but yeah, at least the girl asked about it instead of cheating behind the dude's back.

              I mean, compared to the divorce stories and cheating stories this doesn't even seem that bad. Of course she should be dumped but I wouldn't really be mad at the girl.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              It's a fine line. If the thoughts of fucking other people have gone so far that you are seriously considering an open relationship, the relationship is over.

              Of course, everyone who is in a relationship will at some point think "Damn, I want to fuck someone else." But there is a difference between that and taking that thought so far as to bring up an open relationship with their SO.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Yeah I agree she should get dumped but I doubt I would feel any anger, there are just so much worse stories I've read on here that I would just shrug my shoulders and move on to the next.

              [–]Tamazin_ 10 points11 points  (6 children)

              One thing you could do is say "Oh really? Great! I've been thinking about it too! A colleague/ex gf/female friend of mine has told me that she wants to sleep with me (again if ex) and i was hoping to do that but didn't know how to bring it up. So cool, i'll send her a text right away!" and wait for that reaction and follow up with "No stupid, i only wanted you but do you now realise how i felt by you bringing this up? We're done. Bye." or if she return with the same thing

              "Oh me too, this Chad has texting me like crazy, sending D-pics and i've responded this and that so cool. I'll send him a text to hook up tonight!" to which you can reply "Oh go figure, i was just testing you and i guessed right. Don't send nudes or sext with another guy when you're in a relationship idiot. We're done, bye."

              Or you can do as someone else here wrote "Sure, do you have a female friend that would like to join us?" or similar to just point it towards FFM+ threesomes or the likes and then just say kthxbye.

              [–]archobler 17 points18 points  (2 children)

              All these things seem, to me, a little pathetic.

              If a woman suggests an open relationship when you've established a committed monogamous one, the only responses are:

              "Ok, sure."

              or

              "Hit the bricks."

              Getting all worked up about it is going to make you look like a little baby and remind her why she wanted to fuck some other guy in the first place.

              [–]Tamazin_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Case 1 if she gets sad about it will make her realise her wrongdoing (Which the girl OP posted about clearly doesn't).

              Case 2, you'll know even more that she was about to cheat or similar

              Case 3, you get a threesome or similar out of it.

              [–]genesisofman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              way too much energy to give to a thot

              [–]Nogaz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Nah fuck that shit, just exit. Can't save a hoe

              [–]jayj59 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Nah, she wanted closure but in no way deserves it because she can't even understand why a guy who enjoys his monogamous relationship would be vehemently against an open one. He chose the best possible course of action, say goodbye and never look back.

              [–]nurpleclamps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I would say yes to her proposal, fuck lots of girls and dump her when I find one I like.

              [–]bigcitytruth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I'm surprised you bothered talking about the girl at all. What is gold about that post is how perfect the dude handled the scenario, down to the T. Hats off and bravo to the dude.

              [–]rossiFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              One thing that's not mentioned in the replies, but something that this particular ex-boyfriend might have already known is that the 20% rule is a real thing. If she says that she's only fucked one guy, it means 5. If she's got the impudence to ask for an open relationship, she's already been fucking outside the relationship, and she's asking for his blessing for past and future partners to make her feel better.

              [–]NYLON_G 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              Top Man! He gave no quarter. She being a solipsistic self absorbed entitled to further entitlement girl cant see where she went wrong. She opens up the possibility of him having to reach for her when she is whoring elsewhere. The fact that she doesn't admit to whoring does not reflect the possibility that she may have already had an undisclosed sexual liaison before this discussion came up. She certainly wanted to have it both ways and thought that she could pull a fast one. I'll bet he's a MGTOW now. Probably was Red Pill all along. My hat comes off to him.

              [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Its nice to have friends to pick up your shit tho.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [removed]

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              Not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text....

              [–]Th3R00ST3R 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              First thing I thought too.

              Not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text....

              proceeds to use yuge blocks of texts...

              [–][deleted]  (5 children)

              [deleted]

              [–]Kh444n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              "we never fight and always sit down and talk things through "

              [–]baphometsayshi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              i'm not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text

              and then she typed a huge block of text

              [–]Ozymanberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              "Just cutting his losses"

              What a fucking boss. I wish I would've done this in my last shit relationship, goddamn.

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