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Ex texted me today telling me it is our 1 year. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by The_Dude_Man101

Broke up with ex about 1 month ago. She dumped me because "it wasn't going to work". Texted me today while I was driving home from watching a hockey game saying "I know it doesn't matter and you might not want to hear from me but today would be our one year" and then 5 min later "I couldn't help but think about it today" I responded with "wow time does fly, that slipped my mind actually" she then said "yeah it does seem like just yesterday you were asking for my Snapchat hahaha" didn't fall for it and just stoped responding and deleted the messages. Been following TRP for almost a month now ( found it after our breakup) thought it would be a good move just to let it be and don't worry about her ass. Thought y'all might agree.

Thanks fellas.


[–]saulisdating 327 points328 points  (44 children)

You did great.

And guess what? This happens more than you think, to lots of guys.

But in the vast majority of cases, it's not that the girl "realized something profound" and contacted you again to reconnect and restart the relationship again.

No, in most cases that I saw or experienced, it's simply because she's lonely and depressed at that moment and just wants to get some attention and affection from someone. So she pretty much starts fishing and seeing if someone will bite.

And the funny part is, this happens most often when a girl starts ovulating. When her hormones are raging and she wants the D, from pretty much anyone. And she contacts you because you're a "safe bet", to see if you'd bite.

You wouldn't believe the amount of times my exes write to me saying "Oh hey I was just thinking about you ha ha", or "Hey I saw you in town the other day, and just thought of you", or some other bullshit excuse, just because they got lonely.

And there's two great ways to deal with it:

1 - Just like you did - either ignore her totally, or just tease and ignore, so that she realizes that she lost something good that she can't ever have back. She done goofed.

2 - Meet up for a fuck - and then ignore her. It's pretty much a free lay, and guess what, you can fuck her any way you want this time, getting all the kinks and fetishes out of your system. Fuck her in the way she's not been fucked by you before, so that she'll realize what a fucking animal you are - and then ignore her.

Why the ignoring?

Because you can't mend the relationship anyway. Once girls made up their minds about breaking up with you, their whole perception of you changes and the reason they broke up with you ALWAYS stays in their mind. Even if you were to get together again, you can just wait for the next argument and she WILL bring that shit up - and it will all end in disaster again. A lot of women keep grudges... and those come back to bite you in the ass if you try to start things over, trust me on that one.

But it doesn't mean you still can't get anything good out of it.

In fact, I did the latter part to one of my exes, and eventually she became just a fuckbuddy - and nothing else, since she begged me to fuck her like that and realized that here can be nothing more between us than sex.

[–]Stythe 49 points50 points  (2 children)

This is a good post. It's entirely true. Exes tend to contact old flames for a number of reasons. What they are is irrelevant, what important is how you handle it according to what you want. Like you said, if you want to be nice, or tease them, or ignore them, just follow through. Sometimes maybe you're lonely yourself or generally curious as to how their doing. That's fine. Maybe you set up a fuck session. It's all fine as long as you know what's up and don't delude yourself.

As with a lot of TRP info there's the reasons these things happen, amd there's how you interpret them according to what you want. OP handled the situation well. He didn't get suckered in and on the contrary was very civil, then let it go. Intentionally or not, it's nice to see someome who didn't act like an outright bitter pick due to past actions.

[–]saulisdating 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there's no reason at all to act like a bitter prick. There's too much negativity in the world as it is.

Be civil, but curt and strict.

[–]MigueDG 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Wow yeah super good post.

It actually happened to me a few weeks ago, it has been a little more than a year since I started reading redpill and one of my first plates from when I started reading this sub called me after almost a year to say that she has been thinking about me and about how our thing went which was like this: she is pretty and has a nice body, also is kinda famous among women here since she is pretty young and is a succesful make up artist; we dated, we fucked, she asked for commitment on four different occasions and I told her it was not gonna happen all four times and that she was free to date someone else but she acted as if I was telling her "keep on dating me, perhaps I'll commit to you eventually", after the fourth time she went crazy and stopped contacting me.

Anyway she told me she wanted to see me again and if I was free at that exact moment to go see her at her place (she has her own place) and how she wanted to talk to me about so many things and know about all the stuff I've been up to, I thought sure... why not? We are going to be at her place so we are possibly going to fuck, long story short I went and we talked, lots of kino everywhere from me and her but as I went for the kiss she just moved and pretented she didnt even noticed and stopped doing kino after that and acted more distant so I got out of there and she told me we should hang out again next week; I called her next week, we fix a rendez-vous and she flaked on me last minute and didn't even apologized, I had a back up plan with some friends and I met a new girl that night so I didnt care that much but it did tought me the lesson that you're telling, each word is true.

[–]plenty_of_eesh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What a bitch.

But, from her point of view, it's maybe feasible or maybe she even did it before (turn a fuckfriend into an orbiter) but in my book that's behavior worthy of blocking her permanently

[–]FractalFactorial 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yup.

Its just like troll-fishing. These women set four or five rods and just leave them out hoping for a bite her or there and if they get a response they set the hook and the whole song and dance begins again.

Its emotionally disingenuous and fucking disgusting to me in all honesty.

[–]The_Dude_Man101[S] 5 points6 points  (16 children)

Thank you I appreciate the advice from all of you. I texted her this morning if she wanted to come over and fuck, it's been an hour so we shall see what happens, If not, so be it. Plenty of other options to choose from ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks again.

[–]lacinyc 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You're fooling no one here; this is such obvious oneitis. You'd already made the decision to go full NC, then someone mentions that it's a slight possibility to bang an ex if you play it right, so you jump right away and text her?

Then the next post down all of a sudden you're open to just going for coffee so she can see how great you're becoming? It doesn't matter what you look like now, what you do now, how much money you have now, once she's done with you, you're not getting back together - and if you do, the relationship is doomed from the get go.

Go NC and get over her.

[–]TRP_MushaShugyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why doomed from the get go? Cause he's pedestalizing and in her frame? Or do you mean that in general relationships with a oneitis are doomed?

[–]The_Dude_Man101[S] 6 points7 points  (12 children)

UPDATE: she goes "I really just wanted to talk to you and see how things are, it's a little disappointing that that's all you want.. " kinda of the opinion that I should just got meet for coffee and let her see that I've started to become something great. As TPR goes I am the prize.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]The_Dude_Man101[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      Thought it would be a shoe in for the sex and she went this route instead

      [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      You haven't been on TRP long enough. Anyway it's probably for the best. Going trough your trash is messy. Develop new options instead.

      [–]I_AM_CALAMITY 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      You shouldn't have done anything! You had already won.

      [–]lacinyc 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, this is like a drug addict slowly justifying to themselves that they can have 'just one hit'. Interesting to see the mental gymnastics as they happen to be honest.

      [–]asktrpthrow123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Saw the OP... was like OP was alpha today. Saw the comments, was like, "nevermind."

      [–]disgruntledearthling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      In fact, I did the latter part to one of my exes, and eventually she became just a fuckbuddy - and nothing else, since she begged me to fuck her like that and realized that here can be nothing more between us than sex

      Yeah - this. That's all they're good for after the relationship is damaged

      [–]Nikelu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        You are looking at the stars

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]LordThunderbolt 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          Why do you have exes on Facebook? That's the real situation here.

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]Nikelu 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I was looking for a fuck the other day and I sent a message to my ex. Mind that I had talked to her extremely badly and disrespectfully the last time I saw her and broke up with her. She said she was at the carnival with her boyfriend and he had idgaf mentality when other dudes hit on her and he was talking to other chicks as well. She got mad, broke up with him on the spot. Two days later she was getting railed by me. Now she is another plate. She thinks we are still in relationship or smth lol I told her that we aren't and we just fucked and got together less than 3 days ago. She said you are right. She wanted to go out with me , I said no. She wants to do other stuff besides fucking. Guess what? No. Stand your ground and fuck hard. Don't beg anyone . Realise when you are using someone for sex and when you are dependent on someone and begging her for sex. Two different things

          [–]ArkAngelEV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Liked your post. They never do learn something profound do they. Things that even happened a decade ago. They are so stupid

          [–]thedaynos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          yes she realized something "profound" such as, the other guy she was fucking doesn't want to be her boyfriend and doesn't really give a fuck about her and she misses being with someone who cares about her. whhhuuuore

          [–]Calebrox124 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          This should be its own post.

          [–]JFMX1996 108 points109 points  (1 child)

          I've been there bud. Wasn't too long ago that I would've hit my 1 year mark with a girl I broke up with. Couple months actually.

          I got a text from the girl and for some reason entertained it for a bit and told her to call me for minute or two around what would've been the one year mark in a similar fashion.

          It gets tempting and I know that as a guy we like to be all hardass over the internet and be all "Oh yeah, fuck her bro there's more bitches in the sea hurr durr" but I know it really does feel like shit to think about sometimes.

          Hope you're doing good. This new route you're taking is definitely worthwhile, blue-pill me would've probably tried to mend the relationship just for it to repeat itself in a worse fashion.

          Often when we consider that she probably is just craving some intimacy she'll hit up an old contact like that, or other weird shit. When you think that you may just be some shitty hook up it's pretty bad. Or if she is authentic about a relationship, she didn't really appreciate you the first time around, I doubt one would want to stick around long enough to find out if it will work the second time. Guard your heart, brother. Know your worth and pursue better things in life.

          TRP knowledge has drastically improved my life, I hope you stay well encouraged and pursue the road to being the greatest, happiest version of yourself. It's a wonderful way of life.

          Best of luck, man.

          [–]disgruntledearthling 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Great reply dude! I'm going thru a rough patch so all these words in this thread mean much to me. I guess the best thing we can do as men - Don't be thirsty!

          [–]recklessgreed 266 points267 points  (34 children)

          You could have not responded at all

          [–]Oz70NYC 181 points182 points  (4 children)

          He could have, but he just swallowed the pill. Detaching completely is never easy in the beginning. The point is he realized what needed to be done, and he executed it before making a mistake.

          [–]whythecynic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Agreed. You do the best you can do, given who you are at the time. By doing, not just reading, you are making yourself better through action and habit. As long as you don't use your past as an excuse, taking steps one by one is the way to get better.

          [–]Heizenbrg 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I mean he could've slept with her if he felt like it.

          [–]Oz70NYC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          He could have, yes. But seeing as he's still figuring things out as far as applying TRP principles to his life, do you think that would have been a good idea?

          [–]-Universe- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Yeah, he did really good for a guy who swallowed the pill a month ago.

          [–][deleted] 135 points136 points  (4 children)

          I actually like his response. Tease her a little then cut it off.

          [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (2 children)

          exactly, if he didn't respond she'd probably be at it again eventually or think "oh boy I really did a number on him!". I think it's good to have proper closer at the end of a relationship, ghosting is the best response most of the time but a quick "whatever bitch" can really seal the deal.

          [–]colovick 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Ghosting gives them a chance to catch up in 2 years and be a plate for a bit. If you want something more permanent, this works better

          [–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          What she thinks of him is her fucking problem, not his. True abundance and moving on is about thinking "who the fuck cares about her opinion?". She already lost the battle when she broke frame and sent the message, he had already won. Any type of answer shows that you still acknowledge her.

          The best answer is to leave it as "marked as read" in her inbox. Let her hamster go wild trying to find a reason: "oh my, I must have really destroyed him" or "He's probably gay now" or "he never loved/cared about me (even though she's the one that cheated/lied or whatever)" or "Wow, I don't mean anything to him anymore (cries)".

          In the end, who the fuck cares?

          [–]logicalthinker1 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          exactly. The same amount of attention you'd give a stranger. Just a little quip and then goodbye. Completely ignoring her comes off as petty and vengeful. This comes off as complete indifference and that is the most damaging to her.

          [–]thenewme2_0 90 points91 points  (5 children)

          I almost think this is better. "Now you know I got your text AND that I don't care."

          [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 18 points19 points  (4 children)

          Nah. You are supposed to not give a shit about what she thinks. Who gives a fuck? She's the past. Let her be and stop investing time and energy in even thinking about her.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          Sometimes it is important to let people know in the way he did that you don't care anymore. It could please your anger, revenge or what not, but mostly it serves yourself to be able to move on. When you got that sweet taste of revenge, you will then realize by the second, third or X time it happend again, that you are not giving a fuck about her anymore. It's part of the process what he did and will eventually come to a state of total abundance.

          [–]-proof -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          This is sweet revenge? Are you fucking joking?

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It is. Women want full attention and validation. You instead show her distance and no validation. Her hamster will spin because of that. That spinning is the sweet revenge, because now she is affected while you simply are not.

          [–]glawkneintehn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          He didn't rub anything in her face. Just said oh yeah that slipped my mind. would've been cool blah blah

          [–]yomo86 18 points19 points  (0 children)

          Solid advice. Considering OP's answer is not off point either. If she plays chess you could just wipe the board by never answering or make a move and then leave. He did the later. Mind fucks create the best plates in the future.

          [–]flatox 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          Or, "Wow, time does fly when you're having fun."

          [–]DontBeAStupidCunt 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          Trying too hard. Anyone worth their weight in shit will see through the manipulation.

          [–]1empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's fun to see where she might go with it if he's interested. He has nothing to lose or gain.

          [–]unpluggedoasis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          What he did was almost just as good.

          [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

          This chick put me through the worst emotions i've ever had in my life, treated me like garbage, met my grandfather who had cancer and cheated, lied, and disrespected me. In other words she will never hear a single word from me again in her life.

          [–]LordThunderbolt 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          Das it mayne.

          I see a bunch of guys here who got treated like dirt by their ex, try to plate her after some no contact that she breaks. That's so fucking degrading and disgusting. A girl who disrespects or cheats on you doesn't even deserve to come to your funeral. Her existence should be a myth to you. You go no contact for life

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Yes exactly. She doesn't deserve any bit of my attention ever.

          [–]_open 10 points11 points  (2 children)

          Wow this totally reminds me of my last breakup. I broke up because she was a pathological liar (and later found out she cheated on me a couple of times during our relationship).

          Anyway, afterwards, she was texting me in the same manner as your ex did. I never replied and 1,5 years later she texted me how important I was still to here. Told here that if she really cares about me, she must never contact me again. Never heard anything anymore from her.

          You did the right thing bud. keep on!

          [–]spurdosparade 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          I broke up because she was a pathological liar

          Interesting, my plate lies a lot too, but she usually tells she's lying after some minutes, and it's usually some random bullshit, like "being adopted" (but I'm aware of a couple of times she lied to me and did not told me she was lying after). Should I be concerned and take that as a huge redflag?

          [–]_open 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I personally cannot trust a girl anymore who doesn't even realize when she's lying. It's like living in two different realities.

          It's up to you what you do with this information. I've had my experience with such a women and I personally don't want it again.

          [–]Prophets_Prey 35 points36 points  (6 children)

          Ex of mine hit me up after nc. Told her to come over - you know the drill. Then back to ghosting her.

          [–]LordThunderbolt -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

          You failed because you still have her the satisfaction she craved. She wanted to know she still had access to your dick and u.

          [–]Prophets_Prey 7 points8 points  (3 children)

          I don't cherish my ego enough to care. We both got what we wanted.

          [–]LordThunderbolt -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

          Considering she dumped you...

          [–]spurdosparade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a beta's revenge fantasy against her for that.

          [–]DanskJack 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Nice to see you not take a step backwards. It´s easy to believe that your case is different or that this girl is different and it´s worth a shot. BTW just a bit of psychology info for you. Girls are their most loneliest 4 weeks after a break-up and tend to make their move at this point.

          [–]sickofallofyou 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          I had my ex blowing up my phone for like 6 months. I showed the messages to other girls and they were like whaaaaaaatttt.....

          [–]Zodic95 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          I have a friend whos ex left him a wreck, and the fucker sent her a msg saying she wanted to come back, only to send another later saying "she was drunk".

          Dont hate them, dont try to understand them, but dont fall for their crap.

          [–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (6 children)

          Fucking weird because my cheating ex of two years (I ghosted her in October) just texted me today.. like half an hour ago.

          [–]plenty_of_eesh 4 points5 points  (5 children)

          So what are you gonna say? (In no fewer than 24 hours when or if you respond)???

          [–]I_AM_CALAMITY 2 points3 points  (4 children)

          Nothing. He ghosted her. Why would he respond?

          [–]plenty_of_eesh 0 points1 point  (3 children)

          Maybe he'd like to get laid.

          [–]LordThunderbolt 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          Yes by approaching other girls. You don't go back to fucking or talking to an ex who cheated on you. She doesn't deserve your attention or your dick. Neck she doesn't even deserve to be at your funeral.

          You have zero abundance mentality and you're pathetic for thinking it's okay to talk to a cheating ex because there's a possibility of getting laid. You're the type to screw a bro over for some pussy.

          [–]plenty_of_eesh -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          Dangit ya got me bro.

          After all our talks, I still fucked your little sister.

          (She said she was 18!!!)

          [–][deleted]  (9 children)

          [deleted]

          [–]askmrcia 17 points18 points  (8 children)

          I'm the same way. I guessing most of these guys go back to their ex's because they can't do better or they're putting pussy on the pedestal and saying "hey it's an easy fuck because I'm that thirsty for sex."

          Yea once the breakup is done, they are dead to me. Not going to let them have their cake and it too.

          [–]chostax- 2 points3 points  (7 children)

          I agree with making them dead to you, but women don't have their cake and eat it with a fuck buddy. Marriage is a woman having her cake and eating it.

          [–]askmrcia 0 points1 point  (6 children)

          They are having their cake and eat it too. When she gets lonely and horny she has her thirsty ass ex on speed dial ready to come over.

          Yea she can get her sex whenever she wants while pursuing other men. This is why she can breakup with guys (her ex or ex's) because she can branch swing, but while she is in the process of locking down another man in her branch swing phase, she has you on speed dial ready for a quick fuck session.

          Having a fuck buddy is basically an open relationship for women, so yea its having their cake and eat it too

          [–]chostax- 3 points4 points  (5 children)

          Women want commitment more than sex. They use sex to get commitment. If a guy is not committed then you're the one who's having cake and eating it. If the endgame for women was sex then there wouldn't be the construction of relationships. The endgame is commitment and resources. For men it is women.

          [–]askmrcia -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          Women want commitment more than sex

          Lets not act like that is absolute certainty. If that was true then we would have no such things as prostitutes, porn stars and hookers. Women are capable of spreading their legs for men and not seeking commitment from them.

          There are plenty of women who want sex, but not an actual relationship with said guy because they are after another guy or some other reason.

          [–]chostax- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Right I forgot pornstars and hookers work for free. You clearly don't get it and I'm done trying to convince you.

          [–]LordThunderbolt -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

          If she can easily get sex from you, she has you're attention. Women live for attention.

          Any type of contact with an ex is a failure. Especially if you're fucking. It's the ultimate form of validation for her, that her ex boyfriend still desires her sexually.

          You have much to learn

          [–]chostax- 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          That's complete postulation and you have nothing to back that up with. Read any book on evolutionary psychology and it will tell you the number one thing women want is resources and commitment. Attention is correlated to commitment but it is nothing without the man giving her what she really wants. If girls desired only attention they would never fuck anything and just keep every guy in the friend zone. Her fucking you is YOU getting validation. If she wanted validation then all she would do is see if you wanted it and then not give you any, but the other way indicates that she is willing to give you what you want without getting what she wants in return.

          Ask yourself, would you be happy fucking girls without having to ever be in a relationship and constantly have them wanting more? Now ask yourself how you think a woman who only has fuck buddies until she's 40 feels without a single man staying with her and giving her kids/money/whatever. That's what I thought.

          Ps get your hilariously failed attempt at trying to be condescending out of here lol. You don't know dick.

          [–]LordThunderbolt -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          You talk as if girls only fuck for relationships. Girls like to fuck so they fuck just to fuck. Your rationalizing is pretty funny. If she dumps you or cheats on you, she doesn't get the privilege of ever seeing you again. Because you have no pride or self respect and you lack abundance mentality, you'll allow her access to you and validate her sexually.

          Pathetic. You'd throw a friend under the bus for pussy.

          [–]e4tshit 2 points3 points  (4 children)

          It's been a year and my ex keeps emailing me. I never respond. I see it for what it is, she's bored in her current relationship and is just poking around her past to see if she can get any free male attention from me. I set up a filter so it goes into a folder automatically. It's always some dumb shit, never anything of substance, always a piss poor attempt to try and reestablish communication.

          "I read on buzzfeed that...." "hey can I get that vindaloo recipe" "I read such and such, I hope you're ok"

          The fake concern for me is breathtaking, bitch acted like a complete sociopath when she left but a year on she's loosing sleep over whether or not I'm ok....not buying it. I'd rather keep radio silent but it's starting to look like I'm going to have to spell it out for her.

          [–]WineConnoisseur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Wait...you have a vindaloo recipe????

          [–]disgruntledearthling 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          Why on earth do they "want to know you're ok"? Is this code for pinging you just to keep you aware of her precious existence?

          [–]e4tshit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          Why on earth

          maybe because in her mind "back up plan #4" is withdrawing.

          [–]disgruntledearthling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Not sure about that. My ex told me when she came back after the first break-up that she fucked 3 other guys (I know, I know what I should have done now...)

          It's not like they're out of guys to fuck for fun in their spare time...

          [–]eyesopen1111 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Game is all about giving yourself more and more options. In my experience, if you can get the level of compliance you want out of a girl, then there's no reason not to keep fucking her or having her do things for you well into the future.

          So sure, dump or "next" girls who are hopelessly toxic, but as you get better you’ll be able to de-toxify and frame control more and more difficult girls, just like handling harder and harder shit tests. That way, even if she's not girlfriend material, then maybe set her up as a pivot or a booty call or a mLTR or whatever.

          [–]disgruntledearthling 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          That happened to me just recently. Ex broke it off just after xmas, then kept poking me via social media about a month later. Got make together "seriously" (I know - rooting in the garbage... but I'm thirsty :( ), then dumped me again just a couple weeks ago. Now Just Wants To Be Friends. Ugh

          [–]AssMaster95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Happened to me once before. She's playing you. Move on

          [–]Trainzkid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          That's a perfect way to handle it. It probably was a trap.

          My ex texted me the other day asking for a "really really big favor", said no thank you to that real quick.

          [–]knowthyself6 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Really needed to read this

          [–]hugaddiction 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          high five. I found this forum after a relationship gone wrong myself. Your in the right place, I hope you aren't scared of change, the ugly truths of the world, or working extremely hard. None of this is easy, best of luck, your in the right place!

          [–]abbafishhead 12 points13 points  (7 children)

          God damn it, did you miss the opportunity for the classic "who's this?" response?

          [–]AwakeningLion 31 points32 points  (5 children)

          That's actually a pathetic response. She knows that he knows who she is (who else would it be? even if he had deleted her number she literally said who she was due to the context) so pretending otherwise just makes you look like a loser trying too hard to look aloof.

          Nothing red pill about this, every blue pill beta would think about sending that. It's such a known move that women actually laugh and feel superior when they receive it because it's just that dumb... Especially when they make it obvious from the very beginning that it's them.

          They know you're not brain-damaged to the point of forgetting that you were in a year long relationship just a month ago, so pretending that you are... Really dude?

          [–]LordThunderbolt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I delete numbers and text threads all the time. So when I get those "heyy" messages, I genuinely do not know who tf that is.

          [–]unpluggedoasis 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          Agree with you. I always thought the "who's this" line was pathetic. Just dont answer if you are going to say something that dumb.

          [–]LordThunderbolt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          If u don't delete numbers and text threads after you're done with a chick, there's something wrong with u

          [–]plenty_of_eesh -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          Have you never seen a hamster run on one of those wheel things?

          The "who's this?" response could imply playfulness if she didn't believe it was genuine. But I guarantee that even if she knows deep down that he can't really have forgotten, a little part of her will flutter all night wondering....

          [–]I_AM_CALAMITY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          The hamster doesn't run in that direction, unfortunately.

          [–]jazerac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          "who's this" will only work if there is no identifying info in the original text. Regardless, her contact info should be deleted anyways, so if you just get a random text from your ex that says "hey, i miss you" or some random bullshit, "who's this?" is legitimate and will cause the hamster wheel to spin.

          [–]The_Dude_Man101[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          Yes it seems so, I just deleted the messages and will let it be. Obviously I should have known better but the sex ( in my mind) was a shoe in for sure. Anywho it's over and done with I'll take the heat I deserve it. I had it and essentially lost it. But as cliché as it sounds I did learn a valuable lesson.

          [–]Kalepsis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Go to your messages, tap the text from her, tap the three dots in the upper right corner, tap "block number".

          Problem solved.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          You got dumped and still replied to her? She would never hear from me again. I got dumped once, and that was enough for me.

          [–]butter_coffee 1 point2 points  (1 child)

          There was a post on AskTRP where a guy's ex texted him, said something like "Hey I'm going to be in town, do you want to meet up?" and he responded "IDK how fat are you now?"

          [–]Computationalism 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          Should of responded with "who's this?"

          [–]could-of-bot 4 points5 points  (1 child)

          It's either should HAVE or should'VE, but never should OF.

          See Grammar Errors for more information.

          [–]fuck-off-bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Fuck off, nobody likes you.

          See Dictionary for more information.

          [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          I'd have responded "who is this" or not at all.

          [–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          She was on Chads dick before break up. Now she's looking for validation.

          [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          A lot of exes do that. They want to verify that their old boyfriend is still into them. That they could get him back again if they wanted.

          Once he verifies that yes, he is a total loser that would consider her again, she stops replying. She's validated, and she's confirmed that the guy she dropped is a loser. No need to keep communicating until the next time she needs a little affirmation.

          [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          "it wasn't going to work".

          Ooooo! Pretty new tree!

          "today would be our one year"

          Ack, deadwood! My bad. Maybe I can get back to the old tree until I can find a better target.

          Women don't go without sex. If they come back, it's because they need that need (hole) filled while plotting their new jump. I'm not completely in the camp of absolute no contact; I agree it is necessary for (usually younger) men that haven't totally swallowed the pill. However, it can be a great opportunity to put a familiar fuck into rotation, as long it is with the expectation that she nothing more than a fuck doll. It's shocking how many women will dutifully take this role until they find a new landing. Just be wary of any signs she is getting more attached.

          [–]Rawrination 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Most of the women who've pursued me start out begging to be a fuck doll, and just my dirty little slut. Then over time they always want a relationship. Then as soon as I think maybe it will work they turn on me. Keep fuck dolls as fuck dolls and NEVER get emotional with them.

          [–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Then over time they always want a relationship

          Before the sexual revolution women bought relationships with their virtue and promise to stay faithful. Now they attempt to buy it with their accumulation sexual experience. Silly twats, they don't understand basic economic. If you can get something easy, you aren't paying much for it. I will pay a chick that has fucked 10 guys exactly one dick for the privilege of making me cum. That's the going rate, my dearies. Oh and you don't get to keep the semen unless it goes down the throat. The garbage can is more worthy of it.

          [–]tall_bacon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Ex did this to me on Valentine's Day last month.

          Responded in pretty much the same way after she said x y z made her think of me, etc...except I added that I had a date that night (which was truthful, I did). Needless to say, she knew that I knew what she was doing and she stopped right after that.

          Good job.

          [–]silverfox007 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          What does it mean if I was the one who send the text?

          [–]zetayshow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Just remember to stick to it now bro

          [–]replepok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          It's time your start piling plates dude, why are you bothering with relationships, you obviously are not tailored for those.

          Hit the gym harder, get numbers more often. Simple strategy, and the good part is that the more girls you fuck, the more girls will want to fuck you.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          [–]LordThunderbolt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          If u plate an ex that dumped u you're a fucking loser.

          [–]inspirationallifter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Got a similar situation. GF, soon to be ex, contacted me last Sunday night to pick up her fitness monitor, said I was bus then she, blew me up. Next morning, she deletes whatsapp (our main communication app) and deactivates FB. I called twice that day and no response so I'm like whatever. She calls (i didnt pick up) and texts Wednesday to leave monitor in mailbox and I respond with "k" Friday ..2/3 rule. Next day, Saturday, she sends me a link on FB and I read, ignore. Today, Sunday, she texts twice about the monitor and I don't respond. Mind I put it mailbox a week ago on Monday with her other stuff.

          Some of her behavior is questionable but I always go with my "gut" and that something wasn't/isn't right.

          It's best to let the hamster spin and give her same respect she gives you. You may be thirsty but it'll make your lips and dick chapped so the point it'll be tougher and stronger.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

          [–]disgruntledearthling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Well said Click! I think there's 2 levels of want and reason here

          The one we think want: revenge sex, getting back, plate sex

          The subconscious one: our neediness/thirstiness, wanting to prove she made a mistake, sense of loss, lost sense of stability.

          It's easy to say you just want to plate her or P/D but if you were not needy or thirsty and had already moved on to other women then this overt need would just not be there. You would just have nc'ed her and that would be that.

          In my case I'm still needy and have no other plates. I'm starting to understand my reasons for trying to go back or responding to her pings. Almost had a 2nd one going but at my speed of approach they never seem to align up at the same time. Would be wonderful if I had 2 going though. That would have completely changed the dynamics.

          [–]TryDoingSomethingNew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Short but sweet post. Good job.

          [–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Another way to think about it: You are free, and she is wishing for you to be enslaved again.

          [–]ecosci 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Dont fall for it she needed closure and validation i bet she went and rode chad like a horse later that night women cant be alone or in between guys its disquisting.

          [–]_HandsomeJack_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

          You could've asked her for a snapchat, you know, for old time's sake.

          [–]5t3fan0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          NOPE! that would have given her the validation she wanted, and also i think it qualifies as "falling into her frame"