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Red Pill TheoryThe red pill is all about communication. That is, communication in a language that best speaks to women. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by 1trpposter

The most prominent criticism detractors have for the Red Pill is that redpillers don't communicate. If only redpillers comyoonikated their problems with their women, they wouldn't need to use those awful tactics!

What the bluepillers fail to realize is, the Red Pill is all about communication. Even better, it is communication in a language that best speaks to women. You don't talk to Russians in English or Spanish, you talk to them in Russian. Sure some of them may understand English, but all Russians understand Russian, and there won't be any misunderstandings in Russian. If you don't speak Russian you'd do well to hire a translator or avoid dealing with Russians. However, since womanese-to-male-language translators are hard to come by, you'll need to learn the female language if you seek success in the dating game.

When it comes to women, the language of choice is covert communication. Covert communication speaks to the subconscious, and the subconscious is where lust blooms and fades. Now, if you TALK to your partner like the bluepills want you to, you'll speak to her conscious brain, which is where guilt and shame come into play. You don't want to guilt or shame her into being your perfect woman, hell, I'd say you can't. She has to want to please you, and the subconscious controls what she wants. As an added bonus, covert communication carries the wonderful benefit of plausible deniability, so you can quickly backtrack and recalibrate your strategy as opposed to if you said the wrong thing out loud.

Like any language, covert communication can be translated:

Dread Game = You're not the only fish in the pond. I have other options.

Escalated Dread Game = You've done something egregiously out of line and I'm considering other options. This is your last chance to make amends and save this relationship.

Amused Mastery = You're being ridiculous.

Agree and Amplify = See this? This is how ridiculous you are being.

Silence = I don't have time to deal with your shit, I got stuff to do

Remember, the difference between overt and covert communication is the difference between "He told me I had to be nicer to him. Who does that asshole think he is?" and "He's been distant lately. What can I do to remind him I love him?"

Master the language, and you shall find success.


[–]redpillrobby 130 points131 points  (21 children)

Great post. I was about to create a similar post today but I'll just piggy back on yours.

I will add to this: WHEN TEXTING, despite the popular jerk-boy advice folks like Chateau Heartiste and others deliver, I find that heavy sexual innuendo and overt discussions about sex, blow jobs, etc are not best practice. Not when you consider the principle we're discussing here and not in my practice in the real world.

I see sexual innuendo and sexual talk in general as SOMETHING YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH, but it's not something that actually helps you because it doesn't demonstrate high SMV.

High status men give the impression that they've had so much pussy they're almost tired of it. They're at least bored with it. They are never impressed by it and certainly don't obsess over it. They are looking for women who have something more to offer than just their looks and their blow job skills. At least that's the impression they give (I've seen several successful CEOs in action and this is totally their communication style).

Also, I like to trim all the fat from my approach, personally, eliminate risk of rejection as much as possible, and limit myself to things I know build my perceived status. And if I'm engaging in sexual discussion via text it usually means I'm talking too much. Texting should be used almost exclusively for scheduling purposes--as many others have stated previously.

[–]SilentAlpha 42 points43 points  (1 child)

I would add that sex should never be spoken about in daily settings and should otherwise only be brought up in either a laid back casual atmosphere or as part of intimate conversation between you and a woman. It's very ccontextual and speaking of it out of context communicates weaknesses and unnecessary 'need' which will transmit low value.

[–]throwawayred521 21 points22 points  (4 children)

You should definitely make the post. I feel like I have this communication style and I'm not a CEO, in fact I don't think you need to be, it's more of a stoic comfort you give off and people automatically respect you. Add light heartedness and a&a and you have a recipe for strong frame.

There's a lot more to it but it's definitely something anyone can become, especially if you have a calm personality.

[–]redpillrobby 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Absolutely. That style isn't exclusive to successful CEOs, it just happens to be the communication style I've seen them use--which can absolutely be mimicked.

[–]mpga479m 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Can one of you post some examples of behavior?

[–]redpillrobby 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well first and foremost it's knowing what to say and what not to say. I find that to be the biggest single contributer to calm confidence. But calm confidence is really what you're going for.

[–]helgisson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep. Spot on. I accidentally dropped a plate by hinting too strongly over text. We had already fucked, so I figured it was fine, but she told me after we did that she didn't mean to take things so fast. I reassured her at the time and it was all good (we fucked again right after that talk) but since she was clearly conscious of not feeling like a slut, coming on too strong over text later wasn't a good move.

[–]yunhaila 9 points10 points  (9 children)

Got a date with a tinder girl- my first line was "damn. I would totally hookup with you but i have business in another state. Maybe next time"

HB7: ...

HB7: Hook up

Me: Haha yeah. gotta be honest right? But for real, where are you from? and whats up in your life

HB7: I'm from here and I'm not dtf

HB7: But yeah i appreciate your honesty :)

Me: Proceed to have normal conversation (she did bring up casual sex and dating as a topic of discussion now that I've signaled im comfortable being open and direct)

Probably doesn't work on 8/10 tinder girls. But when it does, being direct in a way that makes it seem like she's missing out because you're busy is golden. I was direct, but I framed it as if i were the prize and she fell into it. It's not about how direct you are. It's about your frame.

Personally, I would still continually run the risk of rejection- just in a way that she knows I'll be fine if she says no. I do a lot of this when im drunk haha. Usually in that state i have no fear of rejection.

[–]redbluepilling 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I framed it as if i were the prize and she fell into it

You are the prize. Not "if i were". If you haven't experimented lately, I suggest not using "haha", as it isn't necessarily coming across as intended. Seek to replicate the mindframe you're in while sober. Notice the resistant thoughts that spring up while sober that you typically don't contend with while drunk. Notice them, then bat them down.

[–]yunhaila 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah. "I am the prize and she knows it" would have been the right attitude. And good advice. Ive been noticing it and avoiding it. Next time, ill bat them down.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 0 points1 point  (1 child)

and /u/yunhaila

"haha" is called word fodder. Look up "word fodder" in the trp search bar.

[–]yunhaila 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just read it. Good stuff. Will be implementing it.

[–]redpillrobby 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Yeah like I said, it doesn't always hurt you, but it's not really helping you. And the case you just showed actually proved that point quite well. You did other things to establish frame there and DESPITE being a bit more direct than you needed to be sexually speaking it turned out ok. But why fight the uphill battle at all? I just think establishing a cool, non-needy, high-status frame just based on the things you talk about and the questions you ask, without acting the least bit concerned about her looks or about sex, is a better bet generally.

[–]yunhaila 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I believe being as direct as i was helped me when mixed in with the other good stuff! If i had just kept it direct it would have fallen flat quickly, but to transition to the high status frame you mention helped as well. I keep hearing the same advice: show your intentions but in a non-needy, high status way. Just being non-needy and high status alone is boring imo.

[–]redpillrobby 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well I won't argue with you. Obviously it worked out so no need to harp on it. But from my experience there are better, less risky ways that yield more consistent and powerful outcomes. I'll just leave it at that.

[–]yunhaila 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hey robby. I dont mean it if my tone came out argumentative. Just sharing my experience. I'm relatively young (22) so I've definitely much to learn and do appreciate you sharing your experience. I am aptly curious as to what experiences led you to this conclusion? Would you mind sharing?

[–]redpillrobby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you bet man. So I love Chateau Heartiste (from the sidebar). Not sure if you've read his stuff but he's all about cocky jerk-boy sexually charged comments. He sees that as the way to portray confidence. I tried this a lot after reading him, even just taking quite a few of his lines verbatim, but it was just very hit or miss for me. Sometimes it doesn't hurt me and sometimes it does, but I can't really think of a time where I thought it was the reason the interaction went well.

However, when I move off that stuff and do other things that imply status and confidence without getting sexually charged it has worked every time. I remember one girl specifically who I had slept with, and then I talked dirty and cocky and all that stuff with her, and I kept meeting resistance. She played along somewhat, but you could tell I was activating her anti-slut defense to some degree. As others have mentioned, women want deniability. They don't want to overtly agree to sex--they just want it to happen. Some are DTF all the time but most aren't. Especially not 9s and 10s.

So I flipped the script entirely the next time we spoke and went for a deep connection instead and holy shit. Eating out of my hand. Telling me how wet she was, etc. It was like by moving off the topic of sex she pushed it back there herself, but she did that, not me (this was via text, mind you. In person you should be the one who is pushing, but not verbally, just physically).

That pretty much sums up why I think this way.

*Note. I was talking to that particular girl too much via text. That's a no-no. But that's also what all that sexually-charged jerk-boy stuff tempts you to do.

[–]Rufferto_n_Groo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

There are many tools in the Game toolbox. You don't use a jackhammer where a little WD-40 and a socket wrench is needed.

The fact that you have many, many tools available does not cancel out that the art of game (as with mechanic'ing) is all about knowing which tool is used in any situation, which tool is the most effective, and the technique of using the tool.

While TRP focuses on one aspect of using these tools, M-RP focuses on another set, and DT-RP can apply to both.

Know your tools, how they work, and when to use them. Don't get tunnel visioned or habituated to any one in excess.

[–]redpillrobby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not necessarily saying you're wrong, but I think it's helpful to distinguish between real tools and things people just happen to do which don't always ruin their chances, but really don't contribute significantly to a high status frame. I think overt sexual conversation and innuendo falls under the latter.

[–]zephyrprime 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I find that talking about sex overtly ruins the game because it prematurely shows that you are sexually interested in her. Getting your interest is the goal post for women so giving them that right away is super counterproductive.

If you do talk about sex, you gotta frame it in the context of a third person but even then its a little tricky.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 37 points38 points  (16 children)

You are correct. I have said this many times: communication is the most important thing I've learned from TRP. The first thing I read was Women are children, and from that I took away how to talk to women.

And, the thing that led me to TRP was the spreadsheet, back in 2014. And that was all about poor communication. That was overt communication.

So here's some more translations for you; these are overt communications:

Hey, babe, I need more sex than we're having means I am not man enough to get the sex I want. I am not a desirable, sexy man.

I need you to respect my boundaries means I am not strong enough to have my boundaries enforced. I am weak, and I can't keep you from disrespecting me.

Don't do it like this.

[–]caP1taL1sm 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Can you link this spreadsheet?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Google spreadsheet of wife's excuses

[–]3whatsthisgarg 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't think it's what you think it is. Or do you know about it?

[–]1trpposter[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

So here's some more translations for you; these are overt communications: Hey, babe, I need more sex than we're having means I am not man enough to get the sex I want. I am not a desirable, sexy man. I need you to respect my boundaries means I am not strong enough to have my boundaries enforced. I am weak, and I can't keep you from disrespecting me.

Excellent, these really drive home the point.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Yeah, and you know why? Because women will never take responsibility for anything. An alternate translation for the first one could have been for the woman to think He is saying I am not an adequate sexual partner but no woman is going to think that.

[–]analyticaltoafault 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really makes one question the accuracy of, "men are typically more narcissistic," the first time they start to observe and realize all this.

[–]SilentAlpha 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Oh there are women that do....but they're married to alphas.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh there are women that do....but they're married to alphas.

Right, and you would agree it wasn't because followed the advice sit her down, talk to her LOL.

If my woman isn't performing to my specifications due to whatever circumstances that I don't care about, she gets the message just from my behavior. She wants to stay in my good graces, so she will take extra steps to be an adequate sexual partner.

[–]Kids_Jelly 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I like this. Where does one find more translations?

[–]3whatsthisgarg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like this. Where does one find more translations?

You live, and observe. I came up with those myself, as that is what I saw happening in the real world. Read the sidebar and as many old posts as you can find. Use the search feature.

[–]TheOldEskimo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm new here. How should I do it?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Search sidebar or archives for "power talk"

[–]Shrizeal 1 point2 points  (2 children)

What would be some good RP ways of saying what you exampled?

[–]3whatsthisgarg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What would be some good RP ways of saying what you exampled?

You don't. Verbal communication is not indicated for these topics. It just makes it worse.

If you're not getting the sex you want, you leave. If you're married or leaving is otherwise not possible, you ignore her. Don't be a pouty bitch about it, just find something else to do. Like work on your abs. Improve yourself, and make her chase you. If she doesn't, it's not a good relationship, so just forget about her.

If your boundaries aren't being respected, there are consequences. It can be as simple as a dirty look.

I don't know how long you've been reading TRP, but this is basic stuff; it actually might be so basic that we aren't covering it anymore. Start reading older posts, from 2, 3 years ago. Use the search feature.

[–]antihostile 14 points15 points  (1 child)

80% of communication is non-verbal. How you say it, what you look like, what you smell like, how you carry yourself and your overall attitude is you communicating before you've even said a word.

[–]happilydamaged 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree. Be in shape. Practice good grooming. Spend money on a nice scent. Smile. Touch. Lead her. Be confident. If you have that, she won't care about the other 20%.

[–]ecrasez points points [recovered]

By far one of the best posts I've seen here.

[–]akaNeon1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol chill.

Good post.

Not "one of the best".

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla 1 point2 points  (3 children)

The woman in PPD seem to love your ideas. Athol Kay would be proud

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Thanks for pointing out that the thread was crossposted to PPD. So much butthurt answers over there! But then it was to be expected. As rollo says, women want men who just get it, not men who needs to be explained online with technical words such as "recalibrate".

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aparently the Athol Kay bit flew over everyones heads.

But yes, I'm there often. It's all the reminder you need about the nature of women. The respond the same, act the same, say the same things you'd think women IRL say.

And the few RP'ish women who either get banned from here or MRP tend to go there, especially if they aren't TRADCON. They will do just fine, you'll never see them though, because they largely stay quiet except for the occasional fire.

And the nu-males... oh man...

[–]theHandsomeHyena points points [recovered]

What's the difference between dread game and escalated dread game?

[–]1trpposter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dread game = being flirty with other women if they flirt first, abundance mentality

Escalated dread game = Staying out whenever you can, using the time to work out much more than usual, engaging in activities without her, dismissing her concerns; essentially preparing to eject out of the relationship

[–]silver-gun 0 points1 point  (3 children)

If TRP is all about communication. where do IDGAF, stoicism, abundance mentality, etc. fit in?

[–]1trpposter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If TRP is all about communication. where do IDGAF, stoicism, abundance mentality,

Most of these are a rephrasing of the translations in the OP.

IDGAF = I'm not bothered by your tantrums

Stoicism = (see above)

Abundance mentality = I have other options. You are not the only fish in the pond.

[–]ttkkk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With that core beliefs , you are communicating and how solid they are speaks a lot about oneself

[–]lambey_332 points points [recovered]

I need you to respect my boundaries enforced.

[–]3whatsthisgarg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I need you to respect my boundaries enforced.

lol wut?

Go ahead and tell a woman you need respect. You think you're saying that she did something wrong. She thinks you're saying you don't have her respect.

In her mind, if you were worthy of respect, she would be respecting you.

[–]White_Phillip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Women complain about lack of communication, but there is no such thing! If you said literally nothing to your partner, you'd be communicating a world of information.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

This is some passive-aggressive, abusive garbage. The only things that are gonna happen are you'll get a girl who is a) already emotionally damaged because someone else abused her or b) manipulative in return and knows how to play your games.

Guys, come on. Communicate openly, actually give a crap about her well-being and happiness, and you'll find a girl who is honest in return. Better yet, she will genuinely want to be with you and make you happy, because (novel concept coming up) she will care about your well-being and happiness since you've cared about hers.

[–]1trpposter[S] 1 point2 points  (24 children)

This is some passive-aggressive, abusive garbage.

You lost, boy?

Guys, come on. Communicate openly

Nah, you're here with a purpose. Be gone, concern troll.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

I stumbled across this and I'm baffled that so many people are in a group that advocates abuse. That's all this stuff is! It's mental manipulation and emotional abuse!

You want a girl who will have sex with you just because you want it, but you don't want someone who would be willing to have sex with other men just as easily, because that makes her a white and damaged goods. But you don't want to build the relationship with her and the trust so that she will actively reject others because she prefers your company and the way you treat her? You'd rather manipulate her and feed her lies/coersion/threats of disposal? And prey on her insecurities?

That's outright abuse.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (22 children)

It's mental manipulation and emotional abuse!

Tactics women use on men all the time. I don't notice you crying about that.

But you don't want to build the relationship with her and the trust so that she will actively reject others because she prefers your company and the way you treat her?

Nope. There's a much shorter and easier route to success.

You'd rather manipulate her and feed her lies/coersion/threats of disposal?

Disposal? What do you mean by that?

And prey on her insecurities?

WTF are you talking about?

That's outright abuse.

Cry me a river. None of it is illegal, but all of it is effective.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

Men are victims of abuse too, I never said they weren't. It's wrong for either sex to be abused, mentally, physically, OR sexually.

Yeah shorter and easier for you because you treat the woman as an object, rather than a thinking, feeling being. Easier for you, but not nearly as healthy as a partnership, and it does long-term damage to her.

By "threats of disposal," I mean things like "if you make a wrong move, you're gone/you can be easily replaced." You talk about her as if she's a phone charger!

"Prey on insecurities" means you know what traits or features she has that she doesn't like about herself and you use them for personal gain.

And it isn't illegal, but it's a shitty way to try and be a man. You become a true alpha by earning respect, not manipulating obedience.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (19 children)

Yeah shorter and easier for you because you treat the woman as an object, rather than a thinking, feeling being.

I don't see the downsides for the man.

Easier for you

All that matters, other than staying within the bounds of the law.

By "threats of disposal," I mean things like "if you make a wrong move, you're gone/you can be easily replaced." You talk about her as if she's a phone charger!

Well maybe next time, try avoiding terms that paint people as serial killers. Other than that, I see nothing wrong with dumping your woman if she makes a wrong move, and I see nothing wrong with her knowing it.

"Prey on insecurities" means you know what traits or features she has that she doesn't like about herself and you use them for personal gain.

If it works, it works. The world is amoral, no point in being a hero.

You become a true alpha by earning respect, not manipulating obedience.

And your personal definition of alpha is important... how?

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

Instead of focusing your energy on how to vaguely express what you want her to pick up on, so you can back-track and tell her she's the delusional one when she doesn't like your idea, how about you focus on being a less-shitty person? Improve your personality so that you don't have to trick women into thinking they want to be with you! Thinking women are the mental equivalent of children is so far removed from reality, I can't understand why anyone would believe it! How thick do you have to be to not realize women are our mental and moral equals? They deserve the same treatment as we do, and they don't deserve to have their heads played with so we can trick them into fucking us.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Instead of focusing your energy on how to vaguely express what you want her to pick up on, so you can back-track and tell her she's the delusional one when she doesn't like your idea, how about you focus on being a less-shitty person? Improve your personality so that you don't have to trick women into thinking they want to be with you!

Do you think you're the first one to suggest this?

How thick do you have to be to not realize women are our mental and moral equals?

We did think like that once. Got us nowhere. Thinking differently brings success.

they don't deserve to have their heads played with so we can trick them into fucking us.

They don't deserve anything beyond not having their legal rights violated.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

Thinking of women as equals, or at the very least thinking of them as human beings who deserve respect got YOU nowhere. Billions of men throughout history had plenty of success in doing just that. YOU are the ones so socially inept that you have no other choice but to resort to primitive tactics, rather than being a civilized member of society and understanding how social order works. The portions of the world that treat women as equals have had an incredible amount of progress and success as modern societies.

Why don't women deserve more?

[–]1trpposter[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children)

Billions of men throughout history had plenty of success in doing just that.

You are painfully unaware of history, remarkably, even more so than the feminists. Haven't you heard them screech about how women couldn't vote or own property until recently?

understanding how social order works.

Social order = women are more important than men. We ain't happy with that.

The portions of the world that treat women as equals have had an incredible amount of progress and success as modern societies.

And their success is not because they respect women. Their success is due to capitalism and a functioning, non-corrupt government. They can afford to respect women because they are so successful.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

How in the hell is this mindset supposed to benefit you long-term?

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It has benefited hundreds of thousands of people. Just check the subscriber count of this forum.

[–]Atropos810 points points [recovered]

This can't possibly be effective long-term. I challenge you to find hundreds of men who are in a single relationship that functions like this for longer than five years. Better yet- Find me some women who are in relationships with these dudes, and get them to convince me that they're not mentally abused and manipulated by them for the his gain.

[–]1trpposter[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Like I said, debate ain't appropriate here. I suggest making a thread on purplepilldebate.

[–]ModeratorPaperStreetVilla[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not engage trolls. Do not try to logic women on this.