Rant/VentingAfter 21 years, I puked up the blue pill yesteday (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by NoodleeAppendage

Yesterday was a turning point for me. I asked out a girl that I have known for about a year. During the first 9 months or so of knowing her she was in a pretty serious relationship, the guy was a pretty cool guy and I'm not one to fuck with a happy relationship. We became decent friends because we're the same major have a lot of classes together (I'm a Junior in college), but I moved on and dated others. 3 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend. After months of being a little bitch about asking her out, I finally said fuck it and asked her out. The reply I got was "Aww thats so sweet. I just think of you as more of a friend..." blah blah blah.

At first I was crushed, I mean I honestly liked this girl for like a year. I couldn't figure out why she said no. I'm better looking than her ex-boyfriend, I have a good personality, we have a lot of shared opinions and interests, etc. Then I started thinking about what she said to me and what our "friendship" really was. There have been so many times that I have bailed her out in our classes by teaching her the material, times where she didn't finish the homework and I saved her ass, and times where she needed advice on a personal matter and I would help her through it. I realized that I have done so much for her and she has comparatively pretty little for me. Our "friendship" was just a one way street, why would she ever want to change that?

I felt this anger boil inside me, I don't tend to be an angry person but I was absolutely fuming. I realized that I have been a complete beta my entire life. Not anymore, this has been the kick in the balls that I needed to make some major life changes. I realized that there are multiple people in my life, men and women, that take more from me than they will ever give. My "friendship" with these people isn't going to change. I will never pull them up, they will only bring me down with them.

From this point on, I will not allow myself to be taken advantage of. This endless flow of help for people that add little value to my life is going to dry up. I am going to take the time that I wasted on them and reinvest it in making myself a better, happier, and more well rounded person.

tl;dr I asked out a girl yesterday that I have had feelings for for a while. She said no but how she likes me as a friend. I took a step back and realized that our "friendship", a long with a few others, was a one way street. I've decided to say fuck these people and instead invest the time that I waste on them in myself.

EDIT: I wanted to add this because I've seen my statement "I felt this anger boil inside me, I don't tend to be an angry person but I was absolutely fuming." To mean that I was angry with her. I'm not really, she didn't owe me a date, she doesn't owe me anything. Feelings are feelings, you can't control them like that. I was mad at myself. I am someone who has trouble telling people no and I let myself get in a situation where I was perpetually helping someone a lot more than they helped me. (It's not like she didn't do anything at all for me either, but I will definitely say that I did favors for her that she wouldn't have done for me.) My goal is to learn from this experience. It's like if you went out in the cold without a jacket and got sick. Cold weather will always exist, you can't just blame the weather and move on and expect things to change. You have to learn what you did wrong. That is what I did yesterday.

EDIT 2: I really did not expect this post to get this much attention. Thank all of you for the comments giving your thoughts or advice. I do not have time to reply to everyone but I have read all of your comments and do appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post.

EDIT 3: Thanks for the gold!

[–]MrB0gus 314 points315 points  (54 children)

Awesome man!

Look at it on the Brightside - her rejecting you lead you here.

And you're only 21 you have so much time in front of you.

Now actually work your ass off to apply this shit to your life and don't spend all your time lurking here.

[–]revosfts 93 points94 points  (6 children)

I wish I'd have found this place when I was 21...

[–]failberry 48 points49 points  (4 children)

I found it at 38 married and I still feel lucky.

[–]IrishARW 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I found it about a month ago... I'm 16, I count my blessings.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double count them and get to work you lucky bastard

[–]tsirolnik 19 points20 points  (46 children)

I'm only 20, went into TRP only now. I feel like I've missed out on most of the good times :(

[–]MrB0gus 190 points191 points  (22 children)

Dude what are you talking about?

You're probably one of the youngest people here.

What good times have you missed out on?

High School?

What you didn't miss out on:

-Your 20s, 30s, 40s

-Getting married and divorce raped

-Working as a corporate slave for years

-Blowing money for years on shit your wife/gf wants to keep up with the Joneses.

You have your entire life ahead of you to travel, build a business, fuck women, do whatever you want.

I'd give anything to go back and be your age man, be grateful!

[–]Heizenbrg 15 points16 points  (12 children)

I'm about to be a corporate slave because that's what will allow me to spend the rest of my 20's doing exactly what you said.
How else can you enjoy travel / open up a business without capital? It is not that easy 90% of entrepreneurs fail (Fortune).
You've got to start someone and unfortunately for most young men it means sucking a company's hard big dick.

[–]MrB0gus 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Educate yourself. Google "best entrepreneur books", and start reading. You can download a lot of PDFs for free online.

90% of entrepreneurs fail, maybe more. You will fail your first time. Your will fail your second time. Most people never even try to live their dreams. Of the people who do try 90% give up after they fail once.

And then of the 10% of the people who try again, 90% give up after they fail again. And so on. People who succeed aren't the smartest or the richest (even though that obviously helps), they're the people who don't give up.

And it's obviously hard to keep trying and failing when you have a wife/kids/mortgage etc. So your 20s is the perfect time to start trying and failing.

Keep your corporate job for a year or two while you educated yourself and plan your business. You're never gunna feel 100% ready so eventually you gotta force yourself to do it.

[–]crystalblooo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up buying and selling stuff over craigslist and ebay casually, hell I still do it today. I've always liked doing things on my own like that, it interests me but it's just totally unstructured and risky. It's like I have knowledge/ideas I've just never tried or put any of it to use. Instead I'm just going down the college path. Like recently I've floated the idea of learning stocks inside and out and trying that, additionally like an online business sort of thing. I even talked to someone who did the same and was living abroad.

[–]superjoshuavalentin 11 points12 points  (6 children)

One possible alternative: Wait tables, no gf, 5 roommates if you can't stay with parents, shop at Goodwill, buy an old reliable car with cash, don't weigh your self down with debt, keep your living costs as low as possible and build your side hustle through your 20's while also having fun. Network, network, network.

[–]MrB0gus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome advice. I still shop at goodwill even though I can long since afford not to.

I wear t-shirts I've had for 20 years, because why not? They haven't fallen apart yet and they still fit. I drive a 12 year old Jeep and a 25 year old motorcycle. I take care of them and they still run.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You're saying to do all of the above to succeed as an entrepreneur? I want to understand perfectly, because I can benefit a lot from your words if you clarify.

I'm 24, trying to learn as much as possible.

[–]superjoshuavalentin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn't tell ya for sure, I'm 26 trying to follow these guidelines myself. I got this knowledge from listening to older dudes who seem happy with where they're at in life and they pretty much say the same things, which are: Don't weigh yourself down with obligations; you might not figure out what you really want to do with the rest of your life until your 30's or even 40's but if you've already got a wife, kids, a mortgage and two car payments plus student loan debt it's hard to be flexible enough to go after it. Basically, keep your living expenses to a minimum, network with people, experience as much as you can afford, read books/learn, build your body, get skills that interest you and don't throw away your vitality on pornography. I recommend listening to Mike Cernovich's older podcasts on SoundCloud and you can check out dangerandplay.com / boldanddetermined.com as well.

[–]crystalblooo 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Im in a similar situation, kind of at a major point where I need to decide if I take loans for like 20-30k to get a bachelors or get an associate's by itself for free.

[–]MrJanglesLovesBooty1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would say it depends on your major and what career you're looking to get into. A bachelor's degree isn't necessary to be successful (although our society keeps trying to convince us otherwise), but it can definitely help depending on your career goals. Some careers require higher education (healthcare, CPA, finance, etc.), but there are tons of high paying and rewarding jobs out there that don't.

[–]superjoshuavalentin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without making too long of a reply: cost benefit analysis; Student loan calculator, figure how much total debt and monthly obligations will be. Make a budget based on your assumed income after getting said degree. Decide if the numbers look good to you.

[–]superjoshuavalentin 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Also, build your body and stop watching porn.

[–]Heizenbrg 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh that's definitely a big one for me.

[–]WolfofAnarchy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah the porn is getting crazy addicting nowadays. Loads of dudes can't get hard anymore

[–]tsirolnik 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Thanks man, it's just some weird thought of mine that I need to get rid off.

[–]MrB0gus 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Man, it doesn't matter if you're 20, 50, or 75, you can always look backwards and wish you did things differently, or you can look ahead and build your future.

YOU are responsible for your own happiness man, not your parents, not your friends, not a woman, not the government, not reddit. BUILD the life you want. Figure out what you want, make a plan, and then put it to action. It won't be easy, it will take longer and be much more difficult than you can imagine.

But your option is to either put in the work and take the risks and deal with the failure, or go back to the life where you pretend do be some girl's best buddy for nine months while she fucks some other guy and then be told you're "sweet" and a "good guy".

[–]serael 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I know coming out of high school feels like everything. But that's because it was all you knew. High school was 10 years ago for me. It's such an insignificant speck in the past everything that came after was so much more and Im still in my 20s, imagine another 10,20,30 years. It's just a matter of perspective you will gain with age.you didn't miss shit man I promise you, what you have experienced is a taste, and you figured some things out way earlier than most of us.

[–]DadOnDabs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Found RP at 19. Can confirm it's a life changer and within about 3-6 months can get anyone laid if taken seriously. Took me 2 months after a 3 year dry spell. Has helped me more than any other thing has in my life. Not just getting laid but being a confident man in general.

[–]VisualElusion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thanks man, felt like I missed out too but I'm only 18 rn

[–]fellanH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow this made me crazy happy :D

[–]alexclarkbarry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

those are all things he will miss out on, that is a good list of future bullets dodged.
-Your 20s, 30s, 40s -Getting married and divorce raped -Working as a corporate slave for years -Blowing money for years on shit your wife/gf wants to keep up with the Joneses.

[–]Mangoinhand points points [recovered]

I'm 33 and discovered TRP last year. Don't feel I have missed out at all. More than happy with my life.

20 years old? You know what will be your stupidest mistake? Picking a dumb degree or not buying an investment property soon enough.

Don't be a dumbass and do yourself a favour and make sure you retire by 35. It's a beautiful view from here

[–]SiulaGrande 7 points8 points  (2 children)

how did you retire by 35? business? real estate? im always looking for advice/personal anecdotes. thanks

[–]Mangoinhand points points [recovered]

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Start there and work studiously to buy your first duplex/triplex/fourplex. It will take concerted effort and focus, since other guys like me are always on the hunt for the gem of these properties.

It is more than worth it, over any other kind of big purchase or investment

[–]AttackOnKvothe 0 points1 point  (4 children)

What would yhou consider a good degree?

I dropped out of college because I was doing a English Philology degree, and here it's a bit different than in America, in the way that you can't pick subjects, only the degree, which will have it's own subjects.

I ask this because I am a bit "haunted" by that other post, which says that enginering is a "losers job"

What do you think about going STEM?

[–]Mangoinhand points points [recovered]

It is a "beta" job on the sense that there are a lot of beta's in it. Which is awesome, since it is easy to be the best (less competition in your field for woman).

Look at salary stats for a field and then pick one with the highest pay. Be careful about being a lawyer tho... a lot of that shit will get automated quick with Smart Contracts (ie: ethereum) over the next 10 years.

I'm a software engineer, and I am upset that Salary/consulting rate is only about 160k/year. Should have become a MD and worked for 5 years and then retired with my half dozen rental properties

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Enjoying the hell out of your replies. Rich Dad Poor Dad is great.

When you started investing in Real Estate did you ever get your realtors license? What kind of personal success stories can you share?

[–]VodkaTankerSpill 2 points3 points  (1 child)

'losers job' lol what the fuck. Look up salaries for petroleum engineers. Yeah you won't be able to socialise as much but working in a mostly male environment is better than other normal job with a bunch of female hens that cluck a lot but don't lay a lot of eggs. Fucking lol 'losers job'

[–]AttackOnKvothe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, at the end of the day, money is not everything that counts.

I'd preffer having "less" money (relatively) and having women desire me and to be fucked by me.

Having much money and paying high-class whores is a no for me (yet)

[–]1Su-Wu_Red 11 points12 points  (1 child)

You have lots of time. TRP is for life.

[–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh fuck off. You're 20? Give me a rusty knife and I'll cut my left nut off to go back to being 20 knowing what I know now. You have the world by the tail, and you don't even know it.

[–]dankvibez 7 points8 points  (1 child)

As someone who is 26, all I can say is that you probably aren't missing out on as much as you think. I think I probably thought about my last 3 years of highschool and how I didn't do enough to set myself up in life. (didn't develop socially or experiment enough)

But at around 23 I was like, I just have to keep making self improvements. I can't regret so much. There will be some good times ahead. It's true though, there are good times ahead. The truth is, it does suck that our pasts weren't great, but there is a future that is still worth living.

I wish I would have started extreme self improvement at 20 rather than 22/23. Try to get better everyday, and if you have bad periods or bad days don't give up and get discouraged.

[–]Thatguyhabibi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I needed to read

[–]DrZoidberg- points points [recovered]

I know people that are 35 and bang chicks left and right, then settle with someone they care about. You've got 15 years man and more!

[–]MrB0gus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My neighbor is in his 50s, just got divorced and he's bringing home a new 25 year old every week (It helps to be rich).

[–]PraiseBasedDonut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 18 , discovered TRP a month ago and im happy. You only missed high school.

[–]i4mn30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in mid twenties and your comment is insulting me.

[–]anotherent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

28 and OP has re-inspired me. Thanks for sharing.

[–]Shaurya_Official 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 18 and I honestly thought that I too had missed out on a lot. My brother asked me to join reddit a year back. But I was too lazy to read about people's experiences as I was busy preparing for major exams. This was the first article I read on reddit and it's got me pumped up already.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude that's laughable, go out and live your life, then complain in twenty years

[–]The_Grey_Wolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey dude I'm also 20.

In my life till now I was always a beta, always friendzoned and I resonated with this post so much...

Invest in 3 things - health, game and yourself. It's Sunday today and I spent 6 hours learning; I'm going out in an hour. Also, if you're good with your family (like I am) keep in good relations with them. But damn, as others have said, we got a whole life ahead of us, let's get some freakin' pussy, pound the shit out of those girls so that they can't walk the other day and invest in ourselvs, run our own businesses and live as fucking kings.

World is ours man. Don't give up. You're just getting started.

[–]TRPBackpacker points points [recovered]

Woke at 21. Now that's like winning the lottery.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't be emphasised enough!

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 117 points118 points  (9 children)

Channel this anger into pounding out reps of heavy weights at the gym.

Do not channel it into women. This is just how women are programmed - don't hate the player, hate the game.

Do not think that by "investing in yourself" as you say you are going to do, that you will be able to win this girl back. Ghost her completely. Forget about her. Don't even use her, or your anger over her, as motivation.

Most importantly get out there and start talking to other women. This is what most men don't get. Talking to women is the key to most of the shit you learn here. Too many men have a similar experience you had, and instead of channeling that anger into the gym and talking to other women, they get on a self improvement track just for the next lone woman in their life.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Do not think that by "investing in yourself" as you say you are going to do, that you will be able to win this girl back. Ghost her completely. Forget about her. Don't even use her, or your anger over her, as motivation.

That is not my intention at all. My intention is too stop wasting time on the people that bring my down and to instead use that time to do things that I want to do. I like going to the gym, I like going for a walk or job, I like spending time with my real friends, I like to read and learn. I'm going to focus on those things.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 11 points12 points  (3 children)


After being around this sub and manosphere for a few years you see too many guys buy into what we believe only to win over their oneitis. Just making sure you aren't going to fall into that same trap.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What's wrong with getting the one you want? Could be misunderstanding you.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's like a dog returning to its own vomit

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah I see what you mean. Getting the one you couldn't in the past. Gotcha.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Women should motivate men to improve in the same way losing motivates athletes. If you only motivate yourself because you hate losing, you won't get far. The same applies if you have too much fear of losing. Experiencing losing can also be healthy, because it will inevitably happen and you need to be mentally prepared.

[–]AttackOnKvothe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The bad thing is, losing is bad only for a moment (the moment of losing)

But fucking up with a woman could affect your life for a longer period of time, which complicates things.

[–]RCMarco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only if you have oneitis. Abundance mentality, and you're fine.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"ghost her completely." best advice. If you're not good enough or whatever the fuck for her now, then if she dies she dies. Avoid her, dont talk to her, she is dead to you. Best thing you can do OP.

[–]KCMOVIEBUFF 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Congrats! You lucky SOB, I envy you - I didn't figure out the truth until I was 45 and I'm 60 now, but you woke up just in time for the rest of your life, the part where you start to master stuff. Do it!

As for this woman, no more favors from you. I don't see the need to ghost her but simply don't spare time to help her on classwork or anything else, ESPECIALLY helping her with some personal problem. I got used for years as an emotionally tampon and finally realized what was going on, and after that I would just shut her down if she started yammering. Usually when you do that, the woman will see that you've lost your utility to her and she'll gradually drift off.

I don't mean to be harsh but it's parasitic behavior couched in warm fuzzies, where she steals your time for her own - don't allow it going forward.

[–]brinkleybuzz 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Youngblood, you figured out that an orbiter is the male equivalent of a slut, someone who gives away their precious resource (for a man, his time, money, brainpower and labor) to the opposite sex for nothing in return. Consider yourself fortunate that you figured this out while young. Good luck on your life journey.

[–]CarmeloManning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mind is blown. An orbiter is the male equivalent of a slut.

[–]DenyHerYourEssence 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Be happy that you have become so self aware at such a young age. Your newfound knowledge will serve you well. Next time, ask the woman out as soon as you feel attraction. If she says no and drops the "friend" word, just smile and say, "I have enough friends; I'm a popular guy!". Then indulge in IDGAF behaviors like talking about other women, or openly flirting with other women in front of her. Most importantly: cut off any "nice guy" favors you are tempted to grant. Best of luck!

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet 16 points17 points  (1 child)

This is how it begins. You've taken the first step.

Every man should evaluate his relationships with other people, and determine how much (if anything) he is getting from those relationships. If anything is a net-negative or a value drain on your life, you should abandon those relationships immediately, in favour of investing in relationships which enrich and strengthen you.

As an adult, no one else in the world is going to look out for you. And sometimes, not even as a child. Taking responsibility for your happiness begins and ends with you.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Taking responsibility for your happiness begins and ends with you.

I love this sentence, it couldn't be more true.

[–]MomentumRising 60 points61 points  (9 children)

Let's play a game, ready?

Since you've discovered the unilateral direction of your "friendship". Try asking her to do random shit for you--anything really, and minimize the return for her.

You'll be surprise.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 49 points50 points  (5 children)

Nah, there's no point in trying to swat the hornets nest here. If I try to do something like this it just makes it look like I'm upset about not getting her. We still have 12 credit hours of classes together and will continue to have more classes together for the next year and a half.

I'm just going to stop helping her with all the shit I have been. She'll be screwed. She does way better than she should because she studies with me. I'm doing my best to not be bitter towards her. I don't gain anything by being bitter.

Though I do see your point. And I wouldn't be surprised.

[–]SiulaGrande 23 points24 points  (0 children)

very mature, rare for anger phase readers. good job, keep up the positive momentum

[–]Jack_Sophmore 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Man we are gonna need a follow up post on this bra.

[–]yayo-mayo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So are you going to help her with HW or no?

[–]destraht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One time in university this good looking chick who I was fairly positive sure was seeing a so-so friend of mine covertly (he happened to be from my home city is how we started hanging out) came over to see about some programming work. I wasn't trying to hit on her or score in any way but I figured that she would work with me for 1-2 hours on it since I lived a stones throw from the university. She grabbed some work and then split out in about 20 minutes and my draw dropped as she left because I hadn't even been played like that. Then my weekend party friend (just really good acquaintance in reality) was glaring at me super pissed off then next time that I saw him. Ya I gave a chick work and then she used the fact of being over at my place to make him jealous to whatever ends. I was expecting this chick to put in a small study and brainstorming session like I had done with several other dudes over a few years but she just took work and played games with other men and losing me some social points.

Just remember, women...

So I guess that its possible to be beta like that. No dudes ever just scammed me for my work and then further used me as leverage against someone else. For a woman it was easy peasy though.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Been there, done that. You will not find a friendship back there. She is not your friend like she says. You are her servant. I think this is the disgusting part.

[–]yomo86 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did the same. Suddenly they don't have time or even better need counseling from you because of reasons. Solipsism is always a one-way street.

[–]Macheako 12 points13 points  (8 children)

Dawg, you got no self esteem. I know because I don't either lol. And I'm seeing the same problem in how you're approaching shit. You're taking the road "If I do ALL this stuff, then this person will certainly love me!"...and you know what? IF people we're more honest with one another, you're absolutely right!

But people lie like rats fuck. Too many people "fake nice" nowadays so nobody knows who the real douche-bags are. So when you're being nice to these bitches, so are 100 other MFs, it is what it is. So these girls have no real basis for what the hell a good guy looks like, cause to them, they're ALL behaving like good guys lolol.

The shit don't sting these hos till a few years in and the whole "act" can't be kept up anymore, sadly, that's also when their tits start sagging, so it's a lose/lose for all of us.

My only advice. Just start being honest with yourself about what you want, from yourself and others. When you're really comfortable with it, you can start telling others, but don't just demand shit CUZ you want it, demand shit CUZ you got a good fucking reason too. Like that chick you were friends with. I GUARANTEE that there were plenty of times you went outta your fucking way, really inconvenienced yourself, for her and her bull shit. Why? <-- answer that for you not me

You gotta think about this shit. Why did you do so much for her? Why didn't you EVER bother asking her to do shit for you? Don't we, as men, want our woman to bring us value as much as they want us to bring them value? So why did you never ask anything of her? Why is it only YOUR job to do shit for bitches?

But like other guys are saying on here, DO NOT GET MAD AT WOMEN. That's for bitter, sad, fucking ass holes, and maybe a few honest guys that are just mixed up lol. But that's the "easy" way out. You NEED to sit back and understand what the fuck got you here, and it sounds like you already understand. YOUR willingness to do what EVERYONE told you, and at the same time you would NEVER ask anything of anyone...why? Why did you accept this role? Be honest with ya self, it's not all for noble reasons, mate. You wanted to be liked. You wanted to be respected. You wanted other people to hang around you. I get it, we've all been there.

But you wanted your "servitude" to be the redeeming quality of you...and that's not a terrible thing...but why in the fuck is it a GOOD thing for you, someone as thoughtless and selfless as yourself, to spend so much time, effort, and energy on people you KNOW will just use you, and never consider or payback ANY of your kindness? Why is that a good expenditure of your time? You were willingly giving your time to assholes and hos...BAD people...why?

Be tough bud. You taking step 1 on a life long journey, so don't get too excited lol. But I tell ya what, you keep this attitude, and you keep questioning your own being, trying to recreate yourself constantly in the "proper image" you see yourself as...you'll never feel like a "bitch" again, especially to these undeserving hos ;)

God bless and good on you mate for taking that plunge. Ya got balls kid.

Also, check out The Black Phillip Show on YouTube. It's only 13 episodes, but it's probably a solid primer for TRP ideas and understanding and it's all audio, and it's all with a comic, so it's funny and incredibly interesting. Give it a try.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I loved the post and what you had to say. I will give the YouTube videos a look this weekend. Also, I went back and added an edit because I realized that people are taking my post to mean I was/am angry with her. I'm not happy with her, but the person that I was most angry at was me. I put myself in that position, and I am the only one that can control that.

Btw, this made me laugh my ass off:

The shit don't sting these hos till a few years in and the whole "act" can't be kept up anymore, sadly, that's also when their tits start sagging, so it's a lose/lose for all of us.

[–]Macheako 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realized that people are taking my post to mean I was/am angry with her

lol yea, I noticed that too. And don't worry about it. If I missunderstand, it's all good, that's the shit part with online advice haha.

But yea man, you still DO have a right to be mad at her. She IS a shitty person :/ When someone is THAT good to you and you don't pay back ANYTHING...she still has some growing up to do, ya know.

So you better off without ;) God bless ya bud!

[–]_MysticFox points points [recovered]

I'm not sure I understand why I can't be mad at women?

[–]digitalbitch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because you are still determining your value based on what they think of you. Because they don't think much of you, you are mad at women in general. You are still "not giving a fuck".

[–]Macheako 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Why do you think you can? And do you?

[–]_MysticFox points points [recovered]

I hate them for who they are. I truly believe they are inherently evil. Everything they do is for their own gain. We might be the same but we don't gain at the destruction of others. They will divorce rape you. They will ruin your career or your reputation if you don't answer to their whims or you fuck up an interaction with them.

I've already had a hard hit to my reputation now from telling a girl to fuck off six months ago. Whether they are aware of their fucked nature or not, why would I put myself in the situation in the first place?

Read through my comment history to get a better idea. I've had long discussions with ECs and it still doesn't make sense to me.

[–]Macheako 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I checked out your history a bit. Dude...I had NO IDEA people could just do that lol, holy shit....so that's what it feels like to creep in the bushes >_>

I feel ya though. Seeing as how it could take a lifetime to dig at some your deeper emotional blocks, I'll just give ya my own breakdown for why I still love dem bitches, and who knows, maybe one of em rings. But basically, man, I don't know how else to say it, but I don't think you will find a "greater potential" for love and relationship than ya will with a chick; speaking as a guy. I am a christian, so I'm sure that influences some of my thinking, which is fine, but all that aside, for what it's worth, I don't think I've experienced anything with more excitement, and more intensity than what I had with my last girl.

We split, and shes a dyke now lol, but hey, not every deal's a good one ;) But yea, in the middle time of our relationship, where we actually liked each other lol, there was nothing else like it for me. And, even still, with how much more I learn about the differences between boys & gals, it really does at times seem like we were made for one another. All the shitty things men do tend to get curbed by a women's nature, and likewise with men's nature. It seems like when we're each at our individual bests, there's nothin fuckin like it, man. And that's what I'm saying is that all the crazy shit women do, which, shit, is fucking crazy man lol I'm not arguing there, but it just seems like if I'm doing what necessary for my shit, then that crazy shit a woman does only helps push me even further into the Man I wanna be.

Like, and there's a lotta research to suggest this to, but there's sorta like a "potential" for a guy that doesn't get unlocked until what he's doing, he's doing for a chick; obvy a chick u tryna fuck lol but maybe date too, who knows. And every guy can tell ya how "easy" it is for him to do shit for a chick lol, it does come kinda naturally imo. And yea, I don't think that's for nothing. I think when she's standin behind ya, can't nothin stand in front a ya'll (that was poetic as shit). So yea, for me, it ain't about her bein on her bitch shit, it's more about me being on my man shit, cause if I'm in line, u can bet bitch gon be in line 2 lol!!!!! So I guess, cause I take the brunt a that responsibility on my own shoulders, it's why I don't really hold much against her, even though....yea, I want to too man!!! I definitely want to blame her ass 2 lol. And that being said, I DONT think women shouldn't shoulder ANY of the burdern, FUCK THAT! lol It's just, in the end, I think the right thing is that I hold the majority of that burden; and it's not just for her either, it's for both of us. And I mean, shit, in the end, ain't that part a our job description? Bein the MF Man ;)

[–]Gorech1ld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think they're evil, but I've had a theory myself that women are inherently sociopathic, selfish, and uncaring. It really seems that most of them do not really care who they hurt or who's hurt, and more often than not just care about if they're hurt. Women who cry over their husband dying are likely just crying over the fact that their main source of income has ended, and that they'll have to figure out a way how to support themselves.

I truly do not think most women are out to hurt anyone, but that it's just that it seems like that due to the fact that they will only care if they will be affected negatively. It seems part of their nature to do so and likely stemmed from the fact that back in the pre-historical days, women that were more caring would not make suitable wives for the men who killed their husbands and took over the tribe. Thousands and thousands of years of that happening probably conditioned women mentally to just focus on themselves and only their survival.

This is why women can repeatedly limit the rights of men and put a boot over our faces with no worries, since as long as it's not them getting the boot, there's no problems. For example, it's why divorce rape hasn't been that big of a deal to them until they found out that THEY could get divorce raped as well.

I wish there were a cure for this inherent uncaringness, as I sincerely believe it's holding back the entire human race's progression at this point.

[–]zboo1h 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Man I wish I woke up that fucking early. I put myself through 28 years of pain and redundant, repetitive bullshit before I woke the fuck up.

Lift if you don't already. Eat clean, sleep well, develop skills and hobbies. Live your God Damned Life. Women are ancillary benefits of a well-lived life.

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Here is what I will say from experience: rarely are ingrained habits, behaviors and thought processes overturned overnight. You will catch yourself doing shit you know is blue pill, because you have the momentum of your life to fight against. So know that even before swallowing the red pill, killing the beta will be a process itself.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I agree and know that this will not be an overnight process. But I am going to put the effort in to make sure I become the person that I know I can be.

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's all you need. Though a mentor would be even better.

[–]_MysticFox points points [recovered]

I catch myself being a bitch, apologizing, having anger issues, and still having toxic shame even after taking the pill. Any recommendations? Continuing to work out, take Zinc+Mg+D3, and may ask doc for testosterone bloodwork

[–]kilowhiskey2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get the blood work up. Worth the $ and u can know if it needs tweaking. Keep being mindful and have a plan to counter beta shit.

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not at a point to teach this stuff.

But what I do when I want to change behavior is continuously monitor myself. That makes you more aware when similar situations recur.

I write on my diary daily, I take notes on my pick up game, and I also attend counseling to unravel all the emotional shit that I have been carrying around.

[–]r1chten 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Silver lining is that you are 21.

I puked the blue pill when I was 28 and I didn't muster the courage for three years and when I did it was the same you are a friend spiel.

[–]kilowhiskey2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Niqqa, I'm 44 and just getting rid of this blue pill bullshirt. Fight on!

[–]mcool4151 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Your story reminds of me, I was more retarded tho, I did favours to people 10 times more than I did favours to myself. Since childhood hood I bought into this shit 'Helping other is the way to a happy life', but now I think I've changed after reading this book 'No more mr.Nice guy'. You should give this book a try

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I will add it to my list of books to read on Amazon, thanks!

[–]1OneRedSock 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After reading your post, I immediately thought of this book. While not everyone will gain from this book, for me this book was like looking into a mirror. If you have a high preponderance to do many of the following, read this book now:

"Nice Guys" tend to be:

  • Givers (state it makes them feel good), generosity is sign of being good
  • Fix and care-take; if a person has a problem or need, nice guys will attempt to solve or fix
  • Seek approval from others; seeking validation of others. Either to gain approval, or avoid disapproval.
  • Avoid conflict; seek to keep their world smooth. Don’t want to rock the boat.
  • Believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes. Afraid others will get mad and leave them.
  • Seek the “right way” to do things. Believe there’s a key to a happy, problem-free life. If they can figure out how to do everything right nothing will go wrong.
  • Repress their feelings. Analyze instead of feeling, try to keep their feelings on an even keel
  • Want to be different from their fathers who they see as passive, philandering, alcoholic, etc. want to be 180 degrees different than Dad.
  • Often find it easier to relate to women than to men. Often seek approval of women and convince themselves they are different from other men. Not selfish, angry or abusive - traits they link to other men
  • Find it difficult to make their needs priorities over others. Think it’s selfish to put their needs first; believe it’s a virtue to put other’s needs first.
  • Often make their partner their emotional center. They are only happy if their partner is happy. - They focus tremendous energy on their intimate relationships

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a few of those that definitely don't describe me but I would say I identify with most of them. I hope I can gain as much from it as you did.

[–]retspih 3 points4 points  (0 children)

By all means, cut the dead weight in your life. Separate yourself from people that bring you down in your road to success. You' ll see the results quickly as you'll be happier that you're spending your time more efficiently. With that said, don't let this experience stop you from investing your time in other people. It sounds like you are going to take this experience, learn from it, and apply it to the rest of your life, good for you. But, understand what you provide in a relationship may be different than what you get from that relationship. That doesn't mean it isn't equal. What makes it inequal is the lack of respect for what you're providing.

[–]delhibuoy 25 points26 points  (1 child)

No one took advantage of you bro. She just doesn't like you, period. She didn't owe you anything just because you decided to spend your resources and time on her. Don't be so immature.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I never said she owed me anything. She doesn't. I was mad at myself, not her, for liking her for so long and just letting it get to a point where I valued her a lot more than she valued me while not realizing it sooner. I don't think she's a bad person, I can't blame her for asking me for help in school and personal matters, I was always eager to help. I am however going to move on with my life because I know that I will be happier if I do.

Perhaps my post got misconstrued. It can be hard to tell tone over text.

[–]Shjeeshjees 8 points9 points  (0 children)

MAN, I am going to be honest. People remember how you help them, they know how smart you are and it will eventually lead to popularity and also a rediculously beautiful wife you don't deserve. You used her the same way she used you. You only did these things because you were attracted to her, so she used it against you. Period... no reason to get bitter about it. Honestly, ask yourself, if she was an fat ugly chick would you have done the same. I promise you the answer is no! You invested in something and it failed. Welcome to life, not everything will work out the way you want it to.

Edit 1 -

How does she view you? Obviously as a friend. I used to get mad about stuff like that too. Be nice to her, help another girl instead of her, see how she gets jealous (which she will). It will change her view of you.

Another thing I'd like to add. Attractive women use people their whole lives. Everyone carries them through life, they will always be viewed as someone who needs help. When they get to college there will be a team of guys waiting in line to help her on the next homework problem aaand they will give her the benefit of the doubt the whole time.

Edit 2 -

If she finds out you are upset about this she will call you a creeper, then you will have a nasty reputation. You don't want that. Smile and go about your day like nothing happened when you're around her, but DISENGAGE. Start talking to another girl. Period.

Do not be yourself. That is a common mistake people will tell you. Always act cool, collective, and manly. This affects how she views you. You want her to view you as a MAN. That's what women want, a fucking man.

[–]SigmundRoidd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

10 years from now, you'll laugh at your 21 year old self, and be a much better and stronger man.

Remember, you wouldn't get depressed if you missed a train or a bus, same should apply with women. Unfortunately this is an acquired skill, you need to be cut down first in order to become a better version of yourself.

[–]NYCMusicMarathon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting over oneitis will be easy for you.

You have turned a corner on your own behalf.

Go find girls who like you in return.

[–]warcroft 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The anger part. I know that anger well. Its the moment you realise everything you've been taught, everything that you've been told to believe, the way you've been raised... it was all al lie.

The anger is from thinking "How could I have been so wrong? Why did I not see this before? I did everything I was taught!" And reality hits you about how many years of your life have been wasted living a lie.

You cant get those years back. But you have to be careful not to attack your new found future with anger and aggression.

You have your prime years ahead of you. Just know that most males you're competing with will still be in a beta mind set. And you cant convince a beta to see the light. Every man has to have their own enlightening experience like you did.

[–]TryhardPantiesON 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I just think of you as more of a friend...

This is why you are not friends with women, unless there is a genuine interest like a business partnership, maybe she will be your mentor, or something like that, nothing romantic, not even in the future.

Once you become a woman's bff, you stay there for a pretty long time until you break the friendship spell... more like a curse.

I recommend you watch Elliot Hulse video on the matter.

How to Get Out of "The Friend Zone"

Men and Women are NOT "Friends"

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


I will give those a look later today. Thanks!

[–]bainbridge_island 2 points3 points  (1 child)

To the OP-Fuck your weak ass self.

IF she had been a fat, ugly chick you wouldn't have been 'friends' with her in the first place. You only talked to her because you wanted to bang, and so you do all this stuff to try to achieve that result.

SO now your feefees hurt because you did her homework expecting she would touch your peen eventually. But she didn't.

You are just as much to blame loser.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IF she had been a fat, ugly chick you wouldn't have been 'friends' with her in the first place. You only talked to her because you wanted to bang, and so you do all this stuff to try to achieve that result.

Yup, that was more or less the point of my post. Congrats on figuring it out.

[–]asotranq 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Make sure you come up with excuses for not helping, don't just refuse because that'll actually give her the satisfaction of knowing she hurt you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She already has that satisfaction, lol. It's obvious that he is hurt because he got rejected.

It's his fault anyway. He only "befriended" her because he thought she was attractive. If she wasn't he wouldn't have given a crap about her, so I feel no sympathy for him.

[–]asotranq 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Meh, he made an honest mistake that most guys make when they're young. He seems like a pretty smart guy though so he can make use of some of the things from here without turning into a basic misogynist like some of the guys around here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have the whole world in front of you man. It only took you this failure to get here.

I made so many fucking mistakes as a 24 year old before I digested this pill. See everything as a learning experience, and choose growth above bitterness every time.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

1 day means shit. Youre puking feelings right now

[–]Schroef 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to read your edit.

Many, many, many on this subreddit blame the girl(s), which is bullshit. Often there is no blame, and if you want to blame someone, blame yourself for being a pushover.

If that girl was your brat sister, or your best buddy, you'd have told her cheekily to fuck off after one month. Maybe after one week.

You don't need tricks to attract girls, you need to be who you are, putting yourself on number one, trying to be the best version of you. Despite what you read on here a lot, there are really a lot of good girls out there. They deserve you at your best.

[–]x0diego0x 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're the redpill stereotype from a female perspective. You got rejected and now resent her for being a white knight expecting something in return.

[–]Aaronindhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the problem is, you gave away your all your assets for free man. How can she respect a man that is willing to give away his 'wealth' to anyone without anything in return.

You are basically slutting out your most valuable commodity, and doing it for nothing in return.

A woman has to earn the kind of treatment you were giving her. If there is not an equivalent exchange, then things gotsta change.

[–]SpicyTunaNinja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucking awesome and congrats on the decision. Good luck!

[–]RPBulletDodger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations and welcome OP!

[–]donedreadpirate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Forget about this chick ASAP. Read NMMNG yesterday and get moving. You have your whole life ahead of you bro. You'll laugh about this one day. Welcome!

[–]BobbyPeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's cool. Work through the phases of grief by reading the sidebar, lifting, and applying it in your life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate with you man. I had the same thing happen to me. Liked a girl for 2 years. Did all kinds of stuff for her, was always there for her. Heard she was single after having a boyfriend forever. She told me it was still too early after her breakup and we should just be friends. A week later she gets her "ex" a job where we work. That's when it all hit me. I was fooled. Its been tough, but I've ignored her every day since even though I work with her almost everyday. I realized the same thing. Why would she want to change a one-way friendship? She doesn't owe me a date that's very true but the days of being her little bitch are over. Time to take better care of myself.

[–]kyledontcare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations, you did it a lot earlier than the rest of some of us here.

[–]FuckYouIAmDrunk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You weren't taken advantage of, you just got rejected and are taking it a little too hard. Attraction is not a choice. I will say theres a 99% chance she genuinely just thought you were her friend because you did all that nice shit that FRIENDS do.

You've got a lot to learn grasshopper, but welcome aboard. Use the force.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Hey, don't get too down on yourself. No reason to get angry. You were nice to someone. They appreciated it. That's awesome. We should all treat each other so well. Maybe she didn't see your relationship as anything more than a support for her.

That's ok. You are young and she is too. She is probably pretty and probably still hasn't realized that the reason people are nice to her is because they are smitten. To her, you're just one more in the line of nice people.

But don't be angry. In four years you won't even remember her face. She may grow up and remember you well. And you may do the same. Continue to be kind. But be firm with your boundaries. Don't hold anything against her but don't give any free passes anymore. Girls like these can be good friends. They can help you to build a reputation and build you up to other girls. Or they can tear you down. She thinks you're sweet. Stay sweet. But also, go ahead and read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm telling you now. This experience may sting, but really it is nothing.

I had a similar experience of rejection. But I didn't spite the girl for it. Now, two years later I'm in a beautiful relationship and know that the other girl would have been wrong for me. At the same time, this girl is still making lovely comments on my Facebook photos, making my current girlfriend feel good about being with me.

If you are feeling hurt that's ok. Unrequited love is brutal. This girl probably knows you are hurting and probably genuinely feels sensitive for rejecting you. Feel free to be distant. She will understand. But for the love of god stay friendly. Don't be a jerk and don't be spiteful.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But don't be angry. In four years you won't even remember her face. She may grow up and remember you well. And you may do the same. Continue to be kind. But be firm with your boundaries. Don't hold anything against her but don't give any free passes anymore. Girls like these can be good friends. They can help you to build a reputation and build you up to other girls. Or they can tear you down. She thinks you're sweet. Stay sweet. But also, go ahead and read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Good advice all around, I definitely agree with the things you said. I am still going to be friendly to her, but the days of me going far out of my way to help her or doing more for her than she does for me are over.

Also, I have had a few people reccomend that book to me now and I went and bought it on amazon after reading your comment. Thanks!

[–]cashmoney_x 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She thinks you're sweet.

No, she knows he's easy. A time/resources whore.

[–]Spoopsnloops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Aww thats so sweet. I just think of you as more of a friend..."

Crushing blow to a man's dignity.

[–]Immineus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to see a well written "wake up" story, and one I can relate to. Your head is in the right place, keep focusing on yourself, frequently ask "how does this profit me?" and don't be afraid to say 'no' when the favor provides nothing of benefit. It's surprising how people will respect your decisions and often treat you better afterwards. The people who complain about not getting freebees from you? Ghost them out of your life, they're likely toxic and will drag you down. Why would you 'pay' out of your time and efforts to have other people like you in the first place? Complete bullshit. Being moderately selfish (or extreme sometimes, fuck it) is fun. I've noticed others actually enjoy my company more when they know I'm in it for me and only me.

[–]AnjaJutta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. It's a classic betabucks situation: You willingly bought her attention, but instead of using money and flowers you helped her do her homework. You basically bought "smiles" and "good feelings" with your "studying" currency.

Now, the tricky part in your situation, and the reason you were fuming and feel taken advantage of right now is that you haven't cultivated abundance mentality. That's the culprit of the situation.

Get good with managing your time and if you have some time to spare dedicate it to helping valuable people around you and removing the toxic ones from your life. This way you will be able to cultivate and build contacts who will in turn help you.

[–]Eat-Your-Tail 1 point2 points  (1 child)

TRP at 21, my man, she did you a favor.

[–]ikkei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually she did nothing but her thing. Whatever that is.

I feel like it's OP who should be credited for opening his eyes and swallowing the red one. He did a favor to himself, in a great stoic manner: you cannot control your circumstances but how you respond to them, and that's what makes you who you are, that's what makes your life happy or not. Choice, response.

Agreed that 21 is a fairly young age, in our society and also biologically, to even begin to be aware of RP-stuff.

[–]Miau_X 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I felt this anger boil inside me, I don't tend to be an angry person but I was absolutely fuming"

That is so familiar to me...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's natural to feel a little angry. The good thing is you recognize your emotions and know that it's a pointless endevour to keep being angry. I get the sense that you're a fairly intelligent dude. Good on you for not letting those emotions take over. Keep it up bro

[–]1ozaku7 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I would suggest to start with holding a log of what you do for people and what they have done for you, and evaluate if you find it to be fair, or very unfair (say, 80/20 would be unfair). It's not a way of calculation who owes what and how much, but just as an overview so you don't forget stuff.

It's not very advisable as it may lead you to bad decision making, such as that the past 2 months matter more than the past 2 years, as people improve and might change and do more for you later on, making them a more valuable friend.

It's up to you how you would do this, but you will get the hang of it later. I have filtered out some leaches out of my life this way, and now have few but very good friends I am close with.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good idea. I will think of how to best do that.

[–]redpill-account 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is real.

I think being overly transactional is not the way to go, but there should be a decent frame of reference

[–]1ozaku7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It's just a reference. If you feel like someone is using you, it's a good reminder.

[–]watcher45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

21 is the right age to have this realization.

[–]newName543456 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anger phase is just the beginning.

What you do with it matters most.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a way she did you a favor... your here

Most guys have the girl that is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Note about the anger, throw that hate into the gym.

Dont let it become hate or let hate rule you life, and don't let females nature piss you off, it's the society they are raised and and they can no more change their nature then a wolf can change theirs.

Play the games you want to get what you want (sex) but focus on self improvement, the better you are the easier sex comes to you.

Be careful about getting a surprise baby .... women have tryed to pull that with me 3 times

[–]CamTheLannister 1 point2 points  (2 children)

She doesn't owe you shit dude. Stop acting like it's her fault, that's incredibly pathetic of you. She's another human being, just like you. She's right not to date you, I mean look at how much you bitches about this one thing.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're post gave me a much needed laugh 😂. Have a good day, dude.

[–]WhorehouseVet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That anger you felt is from knowing that there are no relationship equities, and that women don't have the same sense of honor, loyalty, and integrity as men.

Most people get stuck in anger phase, turn into MGTOW or neckbeard. You're better than them

[–]Vigilo_Infinite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't mistake where this anger comes from. It comes from realising you've been taken advantage of. That something has been taken from you without payment. That you've realised that you've had this contract in your head the entire time that if you treat people one way, they MUST treat you that way.

You've realised that you're worth something and YOU decide what the price is.

What I'm trying to say here is freely learn to use the word no. It comes hand in hand with indifference. I.e, instead of giving a pissed off "no! How dare you" to a girl asking your help, it's an indifferent "no, I've got things on this evening".

[–]grewapair 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When you eliminate the women using you for nothing in return, it typically eliminates about 99.9 percent of them. Gets lonely, but nothing is sadder than when you wake up to it.

[–]AngelofDeath4 4 points5 points  (5 children)

everyone who legitimately takes this subreddit seriously should go hang themselves right now

[–]Johndoesmith67 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The key is taking it "TOO" seriously. That's where people mess up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh, it definitely has its truths and facts, but there are some radical idiots here. It's a lot like feminism where you also get the absolute most disgusting women there as well.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice, I will make sure to keep that in mind!

[–]ir2phat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interestingly enough, when you start denying people small whims and favors that you previously would not have, they usually end up liking/respecting you more. Funny how psychology works.

There might be a little salt at first though haha.

[–]Newbosterone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When will guys learn, if you're her friend, you will not be her boyfriend? She's already getting what she wants from you.

[–]rossiFan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some, the tipping point is gradual. For you and myself and others, it's a sudden and violent reversal. And it feels great like finally figuring out a problem that's been bugging you for a long time.

[–]Ocupheus points points [recovered]

From my many experiences with women I can honestly tell you they suck at being friends. They don't call you to say hello or see how you're doing. They always have an ulterior motive that usually connects to something that they need. All the generosity you showed that girl was not appreciated because it was expected of you. I've been there and eventually learned to adapt to the females mindset and made it work for me.

[–]redpill-account 0 points1 point  (0 children)


I assumed that the loyalty and authenticity of my male friends would be reciprocated by women I met.

95% of the time this is never the case .

Men have a code of conduct, women have Bitch politics

[–]MethaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's easier a said than done, at first try to write a diary or remember what happened that day to see if unconsciously you are being your old self. Take it step by step, like with everything that is worth something in life.

[–]RJ850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through a similar phase this past year myself. At first I was pretty angry with everyone around me but that anger dissipates after a while. I realized what a beta white night I was all my life and the way I look at it is I am so glad that I red pilled at this point in my life. I have a whole different outlook with people around me now. I look out for myself and have better respect for myself now and when I have people around me I look at them as how do they enrich me. As a result of this I have so much more self-respect for myself. Congratulations to you

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's nothing wrong with giving more than you get as long as you're not making covert contracts and expect an equal return. This is why I don't worry about money spent on friends.

[–]NotMyBestEffort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cold doesn't make you sick...

[–]sampson158 points points [recovered]

next the shit out of her. and if she wants your help with assignments or anything else like that, tell her you are busy with a date.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

How do you "next the shit" out of someone who just rejected you? Male hamster at play...

Women don't change their minds about men. She isn't attracted to him because she will never be attracted to him. Doesn't matter if he lifts or gets dates. She will never want him.

Most he can hope is to make her jealous by taking his "friendship" away, but she will never want him sexually.

Making up any shit about "having a date" will just make him look more pathetic than he already is.

[–]Adamantyte 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Question - would you always consider helping a girl with homework as beta behavior? Maybe not if it's a continuously one way street, but I would certainly want that same help if it was mutually beneficial, and it would be an asshole move to refuse it.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I wouldn't, in fact I have a handful of other female friends who we ask questions to eachother about homework. The problem here was more that, and I don't mean this in an arrogant way, but I am smarter than her so the times where I had something to offer her were far greater in number than the times she had something to offer me.

Though there were times when she did have something to offer me and didn't. IE I always send her old tests for our classes if I get them, she got her hands on one a few weeks ago and never said anything to me about it until she had questions about it within an hour of the test.

[–]Wolffy93 0 points1 point  (0 children)


I say excellent because we need more like you

[–]almostaristotle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i really think this is not her fault. You simply had to follow the "dont for a woman what you wont do for a man" thing.

i know its not so easy. If you liked her all this time you should not have done the friend thing at all. I mean you should only a chicks frnd if you are sure thats all you ever want.

A good rule is if shes fuckable do not be friend.

[–]NoodleeAppendage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know its not so easy. If you liked her all this time you should not have done the friend thing at all. I mean you should only a chicks frnd if you are sure thats all you ever want.

You simply had to follow the "dont for a woman what you wont do for a man" thing.

Good rule to have, you put my thoughts into words more elegantly than I could.

[–]epixs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you remind me of myself when I was 17/18 lol when i found trp, 22 now. finding trp is the best thing that will ever happend to you, i promise

[–]redpill-account 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learned this lesson the past year.

Went from clueless -> terrible pua tactics I butchered -> decent purple knowledge that led me to actually get dates.

Got oneitis hard and realized how much I sacrificed for a girl that while cool, was more hot than anything and our relationship was 80/20 me all the value .

The blue pill brain does some crazy rationalizing for pedestaling and serving people who really don't deserve that type of effort and commitment..

Now I'm learning RP, and while I still lean purple (lol no pun intended shout out future Hendrix), I know now my value and the real dynamics at play.

Great post man, you and many other guys deserve better than these "friendships"