This is a supplementary guide following on from my TRP Field Toolkit. While commanding is used as part of game when you’re out in the field trying to get laid for the first time, it’s predominantly used on plates or LTRs. As a result, you should be confident and proficient in the majority of aspects of base game before implementing this guide.
Women love being commanded. Telling a woman, straight up, what to do allows her to feel safe and secure being led by a strong, confident man. You’d think this was a straightforward topic. Tell women what to do, they obey, job done. Unfortunately, since women no longer wish to love, honour and obey it has made the issue of commanding more complicated than it needs to be. It’s made it socially acceptable to perform the shit test of disobedience.
Since the dominant/submissive dynamic is still the one that creates the best harmony between men and women, we as men must simply find ways around the problem society has presented us. Naturally, we found a way, it’s called not caring. However this is not ideal from the perspective of managing a woman. In experimenting with different plates I have found the most successful method of long term management is not caring less, but leading more. This guide should help you to do that and feel confident in the way you go about it.
Commanding is a broader subject than we tend to give credit on TRP. When we talk about commanding, we talk about commanding respect, we talk about issuing commands and we also talk about instructing, educating and laying down boundaries or rules. It is an essential part of leadership and a multi-faceted tool for managing the relationship dynamic (for either LTRs or plates) and altering the subtext exchange in order to deal more effectively with the plethora of mental and emotional needs a woman has.
From the bloopy perspective, this is the raw essence of the manipulation in TRP. Telling a woman what to do. Which it could be... but in that case it’s only the male equivalent of a woman moving her body in a sexually suggestive way while asking a beta to do something for her. Just like the man can refuse to do her bidding, she is welcome at any time to say no to you. It is because your SMV is high and she trusts you that she will submit/obey your instructions. They try to discourage this in blue pill land because, underneath it all, they know that an order from a man with a commanding presence will be followed by most women. They don’t like this because it takes power away from them and gives it to men, and in the great power struggle of our opposing sexual strategies – they want the ladies to have the upper hand. I don’t. We should have the power. This is the correct dynamic. I would also state that the man being in the leadership role is absolutely vital for the success of an LTR. The opposing dynamic is what causes relationships to fail frequently.
As a point of reference when it comes to game: commands and commanding are used less in the beginning and more as a woman settles into being a good plate or an LTR. The reason for this is that your SMV is not cemented in her mind early on, however once she’s slept with you once or twice she is less likely to presume your SMV could be lower – this is an ego defence mechanism because women need to rationalise that they’ve only slept with men of high value. If they didn’t do this, it would risk them admitting to themselves that they are low value and not worthy of going after the highest value of men. They can’t afford to admit this because it is counter to their optimal sexual strategy. (This is also why you have post-relationship rationalisations from women and the light switch effect, rewriting of history in her mind etc etc. She absolutely cannot let go of the idea that she would never willingly choose to sleep with any man who is not high SMV. Some other factor caused her to make the mistake. Usually some way of framing it that sees the man as a con artist who tricked her.)
The purpose of commands
All forms of command are heavy handed dominant moves. They are the clear assertion of your leadership combined with a demand (not a request) for submission. Therefore they have a threefold purpose:
- To assert the dominance/submission dynamic
- To achieve a specific outcome
- To set the stage for the future social dynamic
The specific outcome you want can be anything from demanding a respectful interaction from the woman (e.g. don’t speak to me like that. Apologise.) through expecting her to control her behaviour better, (e.g. don’t do that – said in a fairly dismissive/disappointed manner) to simply wanting a specific task done (e.g. go make me dinner.) The specific context is what will decide what outcome you want and, when combined with the current relationship dynamic, will inform how heavy handed or subtle the command should be.
The other two parts, asserting the dynamic and setting the stage for the future dynamic are intertwined and both part of the subtext of the interaction. I separate them because they have active and passive subtexts. The active subtext is to tell the woman “you will submit to me now.” The passive subtext is after she has submitted, she is effectively replying “I will submit, I accept that you are the leader of this social relationship dynamic.” Similar to the sales idea that once you’ve got someone to say “yes” to you once, they are more likely to say yes to something else you ask.
In the most simplistic of terms, a basic command is to just tell a woman to do something e.g. “Come here” or “go get that table” or “bring that chair over here.” The important distinction that separates it from a request is that you do not use words like please. It is an order that is given with the expectation that she will fulfil it. The expectation is what gives the subtext its strength and thus why it is heavy handed dominance.
(As a sidenote, you may have come across women issuing you basic commands in a similar fashion. The correct response to this is something like “what’s the magic word?” much like your parents may have said to you as a child, instructing her to change her command to a request. When she complies she is submitting to your framing of the situation and returning to the correct dynamic. You may use commands, she MUST use requests.)
Basic commands are a good way to assert dominance at any time when dealing with women. They’re also an excellent addition for passing comfort tests in a more dominant fashion. For example, you identify the nonsense she is speaking is a comfort test. You issue a command such as “sit” while patting your lap, and then follow with physical comfort such as a kiss. If you want to add further emotional comfort you could add something like “I don’t kiss girls who aren’t attractive enough.” That’s off the top of my head, but the point is that you can adapt this general use to be more personalised to the situation and woman depending on her emotional needs.
It is also a good idea to get into the habit of using basic commands on a first date. Simple commands like “wear a red dress tonight” or “come here” or “go get the tickets/drinks/food” are all excellent ways of setting the tone and the appropriate social dynamic.
Instructions are a softer form of command, essentially coaxing the woman to submit to you. These are useful as a measure of your comparative SMV in her mind, along with all the benefits of a typical command. On a basic level, an instruction would be “you should do X” or “why don’t you do Z?” It holds the same straight talk as issuing a command, but instead makes it a suggestion. If she responds to this as a bratty child, then you know the dynamic is not set properly. Respond as if it’s a shit test (as it effectively is... she’s subtextually challenging your leadership.) While it does not assert the dominance in the same way an assumptive command does, it will assert leadership and imply the dominant/submissive dynamic.
The subtext involved is “I know what to do, follow my lead.” As with all commands, the woman can choose to submit or not. This is particularly useful because instructions or suggestions give a woman the social “out” that she needs in order to disobey you without looking like a bitch. So when she does submit, it is much more telling for the dynamic of the relationship and more telling of the future intentions of the woman (and thus indicative of how heavy handed you can be in the future.)
Simple examples would be “I’m hungry, why don’t you put together some sandwiches?” or “Empty glass here. You should grab us a refill.” These are all socially acceptable things which are easily included in general activities as a cheeky little line and will reinforce the correct social dynamic you want with women. They can also be incorporated quite easily into first dates to test the waters of the dynamic.
Educating or demanding in simple terms is just telling the woman how you expect her to behave. There are various ways to communicate this and it is unlikely to work without a set power dynamic already in place. However, if the dynamic is in place and the woman still sees you as a highly desirable man, then this is the most minimal-fuss way of altering her behaviour. When using education commands or demanding commands, there is no room for disobedience as this is breaking subtextual womanese communication in favour of direct masculine straight talk. Disobedience must result in punishment, whether that be radio silence, increased dread or a hard next, something bad that she doesn’t want to happen, must happen.
In general you’ll tell her straight what she has done which is unacceptable. You’ll tell her not to do it ever again. Then you’ll tell her how you want her to behave and usually end by commanding her to apologise and think of a way to make it up to you. Dissent is not acceptable. If your frame is weak or she doesn’t respect you sufficiently then she will probably try to justify herself to you, usually interrupting you to try this. Simple retorts that speak back over the top of her “don’t interrupt me, it’s rude. Wait.” will reassert the power dynamic.
Note: never issue an ultimatum. There’s no point to it, and it implies that you think there’s a realistic possibility that she will disobey your command. Never leave that as a possibility that has entered your head. You are telling her what will happen. The subtext is very simple here: “your behaviour has been poor. Correct it now.” This is particularly powerful because as a man with strong game, you typically speak womanese to her. The fact that you have broken this and descended into one-sided masculine straight talk is a strength in itself, when used late on, as it implies that her ability to communicate subtextually or understand you on a subtextual level (read: speaking womanese) is not good enough and you have been forced to deal with her differently.
The classic shit test response of commanding respect comes under a similar umbrella in my view. I’ve said before that the subtext of dealing with a shit test in this way is a slightly exasperated “I’m tired of your shit. I’m obviously higher SMV than you, cut this shit out or else.” The “or else” in the subtext is always read by the woman since a high SMV man has options. It is one of the reasons that commanding works so well. While she is naturally submissive, she will also test you for your ability to lead her and she is acutely aware that if she won’t follow, then another woman likely will. This is also the same way you’d have a talk setting down boundaries or rules for your relationship, whether that be a plate or an LTR.
Rudeness and disrespect should not be tolerated. There are multiple ways to deal with this. Dread is the most highly recommended method. With multiple plates you can simply switch plate. This is a strategy that has served me very well. However, I don’t like only having one tool to correct problems like this. Commanding respect is the other major option and it’s such a heavy handed or “hard no” response to a shit test, you use a similar response to incidents of disrespect. Don’t tolerate it, come down hard.
Group Leadership Commands
These are the most diverse all-purpose commands. They can be used on first dates, established plates and just as regular reinforcement of the correct leadership dynamic in an LTR. In simple terms they are an order mixed in with a statement of intent. “You go do X while I sort out Y.” They clearly assert both dominance and leadership by providing a plan of action for the two of you as a group while also being an order for her to follow. For example: “You go get dinner started while I clean up in here.” Or “You go grab the table/drinks while I get the drinks/table.” These are also very socially acceptable since they don’t come across as orders despite the fact they are part order. This is a subtle way to enforce the dynamic on particularly bratty women. Well behaved submissive women all react particularly positively to this because they feel like you’re investing in them when you’ve stated you’ll do something to share the load with her. It’s a sort of mini-commitment share, so it’s a useful plate management tool and something to point to dismissively/amused masterly if she says you don’t do things together.
Overall, game for me is a bit like woodworking. You’ve got your tools and your raw materials, use each tool correctly and you can put together an LTR a ONS or get a plate spinning. Commanding, on the other hand, is a bit more like moulding clay. Moulding the dynamic and using that to then tweak the behaviours. Try to think of it as a relationship dynamic tool that supplements your game.
As an example of my own success, my main plate (who has slowly learned excellent behaviour), joked once about me “scolding her” for her bad behaviour. She responded well to these demands for better behaviour, but this remark from her is clearly a test to see if my frame will bend at all on my demands for her behaviour. Of course, it will not. After I told her “when you step out of line, you need a spank” she responded very enthusiastically in her body language and demeanour. (Remember, even after all those months your women will still test you.) She was satisfied with my leadership and responded with more physical affection than usual. A beta would have apologised for behaving in a fashion she labelled negatively. Remember that you’re in charge and you’re sure of your decisions. Don’t budge. Tell her she needed the reality check and you command her because you care. When you hold women to account they will love you for it and follow you almost anywhere.