MetaIt is literally 2017 (self.TheRedPill)
submitted 2 years ago by Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil
As many of you know I GayLubeOil have long been a cog in the Red Pill hate machine. Since 2013 I have been writing articles promoting toxic masculinity, fat shaming, transphobia, and sometimes even psychological manipulation. Well guys, its literally 2017 and that has to stop. I understand that I am literally a fucking white male and that I have a lot of privilege to check and reparations to hand out, but change has to start somewhere. I know that I can't take back what I've done, but I can at least try to fix it. Today on April 1st 2017, I am going to be the change I want to see in the world, because after all change starts with me.
Women are Wonderful:
The only thing that you need to know about women is that they are all wonderful. When I say all women I mean all women, especially the ones with penises, after all its the current year. The only way a man should ever interact with a woman is through praise and admiration. A man should never risk damaging a woman's self esteem. How can a woman be strong and independent, when internet trolls are constantly triggering her? A woman should never be disparaged even joking. Men need to accept women for who they are without judgement. What's that honey muffin? You sucked off a dude on the subway? I respect your decision. Let's put another sticker on the board. Five stickers and you can have an ice cream party.
Women and Men are Equal: Women are just as emotionally and physically strong as men. Anything that suggests otherwise is sexist. Pull up bars? Sexist. Flight Simulators? Sexist. Spacial Reasoning, Logic, Math? All incredibly Fucking Sexist. Women can play any game just as well as men. The game might need to be changed to be less sexist, but men and women are definitely equal 100%.
Men are the Problem: Remember when I said that women are equal to men. Forget that you shitlord. Women are more equal. According to my role model and spiritual guide Hillary Clinton: women are the primary victims of war, and as someone who came under sniper fire in Bosnia, she should know. Everything wrong with the world is the exclusive fault of men. Women deserve credit for all that is good, even if they didn't create it themselves, they inspired it.
Rape is Like Very Serious: There is nothing more serious than rape and when I say rape I once again mean all rape. Internet Rape, Imaginary Rape, I Changed My Mind Rape, its all rape. Rape is rape! A woman shouldn't have to drag a mattress around Columbia University to remind everyone that literally begging to get fucked in the ass does not constitute consent. According to Andrea Dworkin all heterosexual sex is rape and its about time that university policies change to reflect this fact. Please note because it is literally 2017 Middle Eastern Refuges forcefully grabbing and inserting their penises into European Women is no longer considered rape, its cultural enrichment. That kind of rape is highly exaggerated, completely made up and probably the women's fault for not embracing diversity fast enough. It is literally 2017.
[–]Rudeyyyy 202 points203 points204 points 2 years ago (3 children)
There are no chicks with dicks only guys with tits.
[–]terereaholic 29 points30 points31 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Even in that sense we're better. Hah.
[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Freud was right. Penis envy is real
[–]6RedPandas 263 points264 points265 points 2 years ago (12 children)
You said this last year but your post history shows that you are still a female hating mysogynist!!!!!!!11!1!1!!!11 STOP LYING TO YOURSELF YOU CIS MALE!!!1!1!1!1!!
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 196 points197 points198 points 2 years ago (11 children)
Had to modify this post because when it was litteraly 2016 Muslim men culturally enriching European women was sometimes rape. However since it is 2017 it is now officially definetly not rape. Down the memory hole!
Just trying to keep up with the times.
[–]-uftw- 65 points66 points67 points 2 years ago (8 children)
Damn sometimes I wish I was a transgender Muslim queer non-binary in Iran.
Then I would never be wrong again!
[–]TheRiseAndFall 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (1 child)
You can be, sweetheart. Don't you realize that gender, sexuality, nationality, all these things are nothing but social constructs created by filthy CIS men? It's 2017, babe, go down to the courthouse and demand to be recognized as the beautiful, transgender, queer, Muslim, Iranian queen that you are!
Do not let the men keep you down! It's 2017 and it is about damn time we took down the patriarchy!
[–]RPmatrix 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
"patriarchy? what patriarchy? Those men are the warriors for my Social Justice system"
[–]Trump-Quotes-Bot 28 points29 points30 points 2 years ago (4 children)
Yea im sure transgender queers have it real nice in Iran......
[–]RoxoViejo 13 points14 points15 points 2 years ago* (1 child)
You would be surprised, the Iranian government pays for those procedures and is sometimes actively encouraging it. The world is a sick place, no matter where you go.
[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I find that gross on a primal level. Must be what women feel for betas and why they can be so nasty to them.
Like, I don't know, just make it go awaaay. Kill it chad, kill it!
[–]FyreLyon 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Reassignment surgery is actually mandatory in Iran if you're gay. Otherwise you get stoned or thrown off a rooftop.
[–]2awalt_cupcake 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You'd be the most powerful man on Tumblr
[–]joh2141 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
What you don't understand about women is they have to wear this armor around all the time no matter what! No one takes them seriously! How would you know about the hardships of not being taken seriously for doing shit but sucking dick in an alley or not being worshiped like Oprah just for having a pussy!? Oprah for president 2020!
[–]RedIntrovert 39 points40 points41 points 2 years ago (4 children)
When are us sick bastard men going to realise that life is NOT about "bringing people up", it's about bringing the system down so that everyone has a chance to win. Like women. Gawd.
[–]sickofallofyou 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Right? Like how is a working woman supposed to buy a home what with the massive wage gap. They should tax men more to subsidize womens paychecks especially single moms as we all know single moms are doing the hardest job possible.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Right! And yeah a girl can get an MBA but no employer should reasonably expect that that means she's serious about upper management cause she could have kids someday. But she shouldn't be judged on that desire because that's sexist and only draws attention to her vagina further objectifying her. And so what if she wears a pussy hat? That's not objectifying her, that's empowering.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Yeah, because the average woman in America is payed less we should give all women a raise, out of men's paychecks.
Hell, let's just stop paying men until the average wymoan catches up for the past transgressions.
[–]sickofallofyou 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I for one wasn't too keen on this civilization thing either. Lets start over and live in tree forts and throw spears at monkeys like matriarchal tribes do.
[–][deleted] 50 points51 points52 points 2 years ago* (8 children)
I never thought about but pull-up bars are sexist. So are pickle jars for that matter
[–]AlphaPhD points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
What about the pickles themselves?!? Those phallic shaped pickles are literally the patriarchy embodied. AND THEY ARE HEALTHY! Fat-shaming is real!!11!
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (6 children)
all kidding aside, pickles kill my hunger pretty good when cutting
[–]sickofallofyou 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Pickle juice makes excellent gatorade without all the sugar.
[–]VTMSCHVSVCTRY points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
It seems to fuck up my stomach with all the extra acidity when I try to do that
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children)
better than hunger pains dude
True. I might have to just stick to baby carrots and celery
ice cubes soaked in lemon juice too
[–]PissedPajamas 53 points54 points55 points 2 years ago (2 children)
So glad I'm a Latino male instead of a white male, I only have to whip myself in the back 1000 times every morning instead of 2000
[–]godfatherchimp 76 points77 points78 points 2 years ago (1 child)
You're glad you're a male? Better make it 2000 lashes for that comment.
[–]godfatherchimp 24 points25 points26 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You forgot to mention that SCIENCE is sexist too and we need to do away with the patriarchal "scientific method": http://archive.is/XOMWh
[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 101 points102 points103 points 2 years ago (13 children)
The way to win a woman's heart and get her to have sex with you is to be there for her. There are many ways to accomplish that but in general it means showing her how much you care about her and how much you are willing to do for her. The most success I have had with women is when I buy her gifts and let her know regularly how much she means to me.
[–]Menchstick 54 points55 points56 points 2 years ago* (2 children)
Letting her know she can have sex with someone else and only come to to you for financial problems is also very important
[–]samenrofringslikeLBJ points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Way ahead of you, I assist my wife as she is sleeping with said strangers in our bed, I help out as a quasi catering service and make sure guys nr 12 and 13 get to have as fresh an experience as 1 and 2.
Keep her trimmed and wet, be sure to brink snacks and goodies for the men in case they get hungry from all the hard work, and don't make eye contact with anyone you Shitlord.
[–]newName543456 29 points30 points31 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Also, she might have sex with other guys in the meantime. Don't ask about that, it's none of your business and if you're mature and not a manchild, your love is far, far greater than those meaningless encounters. Even if she becomes pregnant from them or catches STD, be there for her, because love conquers all.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
And love only conquers all as long as you have a job. Love doesn't conquer unemployment. These Chad's could be packing and the pool doesn't get as full as it used to, so there's lube to be bought.
[–]sickofallofyou 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago* (0 children)
Most off all a woman wants a man who understands her needs... Like 300 pairs of shoes and an overpriced house that she'll need to have for herself when your masculinity becomes too toxic and she asks you to leave and the courts suggest you should give it to her. She needs space to mourn the passing of the relationship. Oh and don't worry about your children theyll turn out okay you might get to see them once a month or year or not but they need thier momma and momma cant deal with the heartbreak of not having her children with her. A mom can't stop being a mom any less then you can stop being a rapist. And free of your toxic masculinity theyll be free to discover their true gender spectrum identity.
[–]submitted_5_days_ago 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children)
It would have been interesting and fun if all men knew TRP at heart, but purposefully spread this bullshit like they really thought it was true.
To deceive the deceiver. Now, that would be a great revenge for all the deceptiveness men was thrown at in the last decades.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (0 children)
Its not enough to be there for a woman simply telling her she is important to you.
You have to display to her and everyone she knows that she is everything to you.
OK April fools aside:
Once I was at a clients site for the first day of a 2 to 3 month project and some former dimes husband arrived with flowers and kid in tow. I commented to her that was a sweet gesture and she is lucky to find a keeper like that. She told me he does that flower visit every month or two.
Ding ding spider sense tingled....asked her for drinks under the pretense of getting to know the social hierarchy of the office and not only was she down to hang, she paid for drinks and swallowed my load in the car on the way back to her flat.
Whether her roly poly boy-wallet got a semen laden kiss....I can't say
[–]smittieaj points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Men should buy women things, do their chores, and give them compliments daily. We should never concern ourselves with sex. It's best to sublimate out manly nature and serve women, because they deserve it!
[+]elleellebean comment score below threshold-20 points-19 points-18 points 2 years ago (9 children)
I mean, I love presents. And if someone wanted to help out with some chores as a team that would be great too. That third lines complete bs, please don't do that. As for the fourth, who doesn't love a little fun putting someone in their place 😘
...And always LISTEN to women!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
And don't pay attention to their actions cause that makes you an asshole. And don't look them up on social media cause that's stalker behavior or ask about their history because the past is the past.
[–]MrJanglesLovesBooty1 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago* (5 children)
Make a man a sandwich and suck his dick while he eats it.
[+]elleellebean comment score below threshold-11 points-10 points-9 points 2 years ago (4 children)
lol I just don't understand why you guys are so hostile. In a weird power trip kinda thing I would. You all need to relax a little.
[–]MrJanglesLovesBooty1 23 points24 points25 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Umm excuse meeee, can you please stop womynsplaining? Kk thanks
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (2 children)
We're hostile because if we encourage you and another woman sees it she'll want attention and validation too. This is one boys club that will remain that, a boy's club. You can say that it's silly to want to have our own room too be free without "valuable female input", but how would you feel if every time you and your gaggle of free hookers walked into the shitter to plot destruction a man would walk in and tell you what best way to please him?
Well I guess it's literally 2017 so men are allowed in your restrooms now as long as they tuck and lisp.
[–]elleellebean -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Lol to each their own, but you don't have to be such a dick.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
coming from another female, wow. you must be new here. do as i do and continue to lurk in the shadows. there's actually some good stuff that goes on here that's real interesting, you might even learn a thing or two! but for your own benefit, if you don't want these people being "such dicks" i'd suggest to lurk and not speak.
hey guys, am i a cool, understanding bro of a chick yet? please, acknowledge me! c'mon, gimme dat attention and validation!! you know i need it...
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Jesus. I legit thought this was legit post but no way in hell. 11/10 for such trolling.
[–]D4rkr4in 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I don't believe anything I read today, everything is fake news
[–]Trump-Quotes-Bot 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (2 children)
GayLubeOil maybe you could do an article about the best gifts to bring a woman on the first date? I mean in addition to the default roses of course. Thanks! I really love that you have embraced feminism and really found yourself in a happier and healthier place!
[–]my_sfw_alias 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I usually bring 200 roses for my dates
[–]sickofallofyou 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You don't raise them yourself? You savage.
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I wanted to laugh but LTR is right next to me so I laughed extra hard instead
[–]alexclarkbarry 15 points16 points17 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I love how you have the Bosnia sniper thing in there, that is the cherry on top! The Middle Eastern refugees... on the #daywithoutwomen thing i saw a video on twitter where they said refugees are welcome here, dumb group think chanting.
[–]joh2141 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Those day without movements are pretty stupid I thought. Especially the day without immigrants because don't most of those immigrants need that money?
[–]anon2777 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
my wife's boyfriend says im one of the manliest men he knows for being so comfortable with the situation
[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 14 points15 points16 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Same here, I'm getting married to a girl, she is so hot with her short snocone hair, piercings everywhere, a very nice tattoo on her neck proudly stating how feminist she is. She is still under 200lbs which are amateur numbers, we're going to have to pump those up. Quite the catch, I can't wait to see how much allowance she gives me from my income.
I'm so excited to get laid regularly every other month!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago* (0 children)
And if you're lucky, one day she might ask you to marry her! Of course, one of the downsides is she might only let you go down on her a few times a year now. But having a strong woman as a partner more than makes up for that.
[–]dons90 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Blink twice if they've captured you
[–]MisterRoid 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (1 child)
You completely forgot that it's rape if you have sex with a woman without using a condom. I learnt that from the progressives over at the Sex forum. I got banned for having the misguided belief that there is nothing wrong with unprotected sex, but now I know better and will do what I can to atone for my sins.
[–]godfatherchimp 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children)
That's because your misguided belief is not realizing that ALL p.i.v. sex is rape
[–]Andrew54321 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (1 child)
So many people respobding to this april fools of a post. Well done glo.
[–]Philletto 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Awww, I thought it was real! But for the laughs a sarcasm red pill sub would be great.
[–]Zep88 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Some people take life a little too seriously.
[–]Viking_RnP 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I feel dirty just having a penis. I'm a monster. My skin is white because I'm pale in comparison to the people that really matter. People who have cultures and an ethnicity that didn't kill rape and enslave others. I'm sorry to everyone my ancestors have hurt. I'm sorry women, for challenging your absolute power. I'd be sorry for myself, but I know now that I am nothing.
I'm sending all my money to antifa, as well as my penis because I don't need it anymore. I know they will know what to do with it. They have achieved great feats of social justice before and with my help I hope they can again.
I can't let this evil control me anymore. This is my exorcism. This demon calling itself masculinity must be stopped. I urge you all to join me. May our feminine overlords use every bit of us for their personal gain. For we are nothing more than vessels to be filled with the ambitions of others. May J.K. Rowling bless you all.
[–]cashmoney_x 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Your posts are too much about you. We can feel you trying to position yourself as some sort of guru and it's gross.
[–]HeinousFu_kery 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
It is actually 2017.
That post triggered my repressed exposure to patriarchal grammar-oppression. Or something.
[–]Jakeisahooligan 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I can't believe you forgot to mention how funny and interesting women are these days. Amy Schumer definitely revolutionized the comedy industry by making pussy jokes WAY more hysterical than dick jokes. Duh. And not to mention, every time they talk about their bloopie TV series, which make them clearly too busy to even stare at a pull up bar, I am so fucking interested. God bless 2017.
[–]TRP_MushaShugyo 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child)
That white male clip was infuriating.
[–]happy_fart 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
That guy need to be punched.
[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
i thought this was 2017 year of the hate trump?
[–]WolfCore77 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Why are you posting here. Men are not the only problem in the world. Fuck off.
I am so totally getting laid.
[–]Proto_Sigma 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I took the Red Pill last May. This was my first April Fools Day on this sub. I was not disappointed.
Never change GLO, unless it's to become a more hyper concentrated, fantabulous...
-Stereotypical Feminist c. Current Year
[–]ihateyouguys 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
YOU'RE FUCKING A WHITE MAN
[–]Ozymanberg 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Women are perfect. I only have missionary vanilla sex with my significant other and ask her every 30 seconds if she's all right as we slowly make true love. She once told me she sucked off three dudes (one of them black, she's such an open minded doe) in the back of a Wendy's, but she knows that wasn't true love. She loves me now.
She's got a good friend, Chad Meatcake Thundercock, who helps her with her gardening hobby every day after work. She gets home sooo late but I always have a nice, warm dinner for her. She's always tired but that's work for ya :)
[–]SoulRebel99 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Let's just abandon this empowering male philosophy and frolic in the gardens with women and put flowers in our hair! #EunuchLife
[–]EliQuince 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I've never understood the transphobia aspect of Red Pill- if trannies are 'just dudes' to you then shouldn't you treat them with as much respect as your fellow dudebros?
IMO Trannies are the true alphas, and if you were truly woke you'd recognize that.
I want to laugh at the satire here but I know too many men who would agree with basically everything. It's such a ridiculous state of affairs.
[–]Redasshole 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Women are wonderful
My mum just said that to me. I laughed in her face.
[–]Bareassman 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
No but seriously, if you're a white male, make it with a white female and create some white babies.
[–]GOATmar 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
you just know GLO has been cooking this thread up, waiting for today, since April 2nd of last year
[–]guataballin 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Best April fools joke ever
[–]esirnus18 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
That first female NAVY carrier fighter pilot who fucked herself because of gender favoritism by her command is definitely a (holly shit) TIL for Today. Thanks GLO
[–]pbar 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Every day in every way, women are getting better and better.
[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Haha, that flight simulator made my day
[–]MASSIVIST 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
A woman shouldn't have to drag a mattress around Columbia University to remind everyone that literally begging to get fucked in the ass does not constitute consent.
A woman shouldn't have to drag a mattress around Columbia University to remind everyone that literally begging to get fucked in the ass does not constitute consent.
[–]neutronboy 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You can usually find the deepest truths in satire.
[–]mrHappyPotatoe -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (1 child)
People don't even know how to troll either thesedays.
[–]justgotalpha -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children)
Is this article for real or he is just been sarcastic?
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I understand that I am literally a fucking white male
I understand that I am literally a fucking white male
The quote is "you're fucking a white male", not "you're a fucking white male".
[–]chickenwings95 points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
The amount of pent up anger behind this satirical post in this post and the sub recently makes me lose faith in the trp sub
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Good then get the fuck out
[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
He has been taken care of.