How I accepted that I was using weed everyday as an escape from my own inner problems for 2 years now. And how I tackled my anxiety with meditation, exercise, and mindfulness. (self.TheRedPill)
submitted 2 years ago * by yunhaila
I pretty much a daily smoker for the past 2 years. For most of this duration, I told myself I smoke to feel good. I also believed I smoked to get creative, be musical, and sometimes even social. No matter how bad it got, I saw that weed was a good influence on my life.
But the fantasy came crashing down 2 weeks ago. I had begun to notice for the first time how my thoughts haunted me. It began when I noticed my thoughts actually snowball as my day goes on, growing more and more powerful, thinking of this and that, constantly fretting about the past or future. I didn't think much of it at first, having lived with this sort of mind for a long time now. But that day, I read a quote on Reddit that triggered a different response.
"Living in the past causes depression. Living in the future causes anxiety."
At that moment, I understood the reason behind my addiction to weed. I was using weed to stop thinking about the past and future and live in the moment. For when I smoke weed, I relax because nothing else matters but the now.
From there, I knew what I had to do. I had to tackle my issue from the root cause. My thoughts were out of control, pushing me to anxiety and depression. So I searched for information and found the concept of immersion. Immersion is when you are completely into an experience that you think of nothing else as you experience it. For instance, video games with high immersion levels captivate you for hours on end. I found relaxation in video games because of my immersion.
So I thought if I were to be immersed in what I am doing, regardless of what activity it is, I can be relaxed at all times! I can be the most comfortable person at any place in the world if I was truly immersed in the environment and people I interact with!
I found that millions of people were already practicing immersion in everyday life by meditating. So I sat down in my candlelit room and I said out loud, "there is no past, no history, no future, only now. I am. I am." as i began my session. I didn't time my session. I would stop meditating when my mind is clear from thoughts about the past and future. At first, i would catch myself throughout the day as my thoughts would spin out of control and just meditate. It didn't matter if I was outside or hanging with friends, I would close my eyes and repeat that line. Calmness would pass through my body, relaxing my face and body. Then I would carry on with whatever I was doing.
On top of that, I found that exercise helped tremendously with calming my mind. Exercise in itself is an immersive experience. You're there, with your body, pushing it and pushing it like nothing in the world matters. And when you come out, your brain chemistry is pushing you towards positivity. I see the gym as another meditation room.
After all this, I've completely stopped relying on weed for relaxation. If I wasn't relaxed, I'd go to the gym or meditate. I became the most relaxed person at every venue I went to. It was to the point where I could sense who was anxious and who was calm.
Smoking itself feels different for me. I no longer think I am happier or more relaxed with weed. After all, I was already as relaxed as I can be. Merely, I would describe it as a different state of mind.
I leave you with another quote:
"A man cannot control others if he cannot control himself"
**TL;DR: OP stopped denying that he had an anxiety problem. OP accepted that his thoughts were controlling him. So OP practiced meditation and exercised daily to tackle the problem instead of smoking to delay it. Now OP does not smoke alone to escape anymore.
[–]Ehipassika 149 points150 points151 points 2 years ago (13 children)
Thank you for sharing your insights.
[+][deleted] comment score below threshold-85 points-84 points-83 points 2 years ago (11 children)
Why would OP openly admit to commiting a crime online?
[–]Dootingtonstation 67 points68 points69 points 2 years ago (0 children)
weed isn't illegal everywhere ya dingus.
[–]MillionaireSexbomb 31 points32 points33 points 2 years ago (6 children)
No one cares enough to find this one weed user
[+][deleted] comment score below threshold-27 points-26 points-25 points 2 years ago (5 children)
Once AGI is solved, it will retroactively find him.
[–]nasisliiike 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Wait what? For smoking weed? Hahaahah... Sigh...
[–]student28567271 points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
It's illegal to possess weed, not to smoke it - subtle difference. So even if your theory was right, as long as they didn't catch OP in possession of weed there would be no grounds for arrest.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Thanks for the correction. As someone who neither smokes nor possess weed nor has any interest in this, I did not know. But I appreciate the tidbit of technicality
[–]alexhabs73 116 points117 points118 points 2 years ago* (33 children)
I feel you way too fuckin much dude. Although I vape my weed, (3 grams last me around 2 weeks. No kidding) I do smoke religiously to cover up my extreme loneliness... When I dont have anything else important/productive to do, i smoke and it makes living alone in my appartment a tad less unbearable.
If it made things better for you that's really good man.
[–]greatslyfer 32 points33 points34 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Dude with your comment and OP's post, I now realize why my cousin was always smoking weed in his house alone for a year or so after work.
He would come back from work, close the shutters and barely have any light in there. He would turn on League of Legends, game, smoke pot all day then go to sleep.
It was honestly a depressing/hopeless period in his life where he didn't give a fuck about anything and was just trying to escape from it all (his past most presumably). No ambitions, although maybe some people truly are ok with it, it was just him creating this black hole in which he would slowly be closed in.
Fortunately he moved out of his apartment and got a new job.
[–]yunhaila[S] 54 points55 points56 points 2 years ago (5 children)
I know what you mean. What I realized after taking care of my inner issues is that my anxiety was pushing people away. What I mean is anxiety manifests itself in your mannerisms and behavior. When I was able to calm my mind and truly relax, I can really see when people are anxious. And to be honest, I do not want to be with them. Calm people want to be with other calm people. I sense that now. Girls want to be with a calm and collected man. Guys want to be with someone they can trust. How can you trust an anxious person who smokes weed everyday but never deals with his inner?
What I want from this post is to detail my journey, which was as simple as sitting down and clearing my thoughts whenever they started to haunt me. If my thoughts go, "you should've done better with that girl last week. Why are you bored. You should do something. Maybe smoke" I just sit down and repeat that phase and focus on my breathing until I am whole.
If you are in the same boat as me, I hope you can use my experience as a guidepost for your own permanent escape from anxiety. After all I now believe that the feeling of loneliness itself manifests when your are anxious.
[–]vsvp815 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I'm in a very similar spot as you, and it's cool to see someone else posting something as detailed as this. I use to blaze every day in my off time just to escape reality, and my thoughts and anxiety were all over the place. I started meditating and lifting and it's made a huge difference, especially in my sleep.
[–]yunhaila[S] 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thanks for sharing. I feel a lot of people are in this same spot and could benefit from a case study like mine. I'm glad you found your way.
[–]bookofcookies 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Yes me too. I am off the hazy boat since last year and it all boils down to training yourself to be comfortable alone.
[–]ball506 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I was in a very similar situation recently. I had major depression and social anxiety disorder. I was in a LTR with an absolutely crazy bitch who I had no idea how to control or move on from. So I started using weed daily, for about 3years I smoked every day. Eventually, the dissatisfaction I felt from my current state in life was too much and I moved onto harder things such as meth. I became a ferocious meth addict injecting about a gram a day. Eventually I came to my senses and got rid of the crazy bitch and stopped ruining myself with drugs. I stayed single, fucked who I could with no strings attached, meditated every day and went to therapy every week. A sober and calm mind state works wonders for your sexual strategy. No girl wants a guy who can't sort his shit out without drugs.
Thanks for sharing your story man
[–]yunhaila[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I agree. People can literally feel it if your mind isn't calm. We've evolved to identify those who are trustworthy and those who are not. A sober and calm mind is the foundation behind every sexual strategy people talk about.
[–]saucedup2 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (6 children)
I was exactly like you. It became very hard for me to quit. Not because weed is physically addictive but because I could literally vape my weed bho oil anywhere I wanted. It's too convenient. I got to a point where it was no longer satisfying and started popping prescribed ambien with it just to make it more interesting. Eventually I got bored of life itself and became depressed. My friends intervened and threw out everything. I'm now 4 months clean and I haven't had a craving to get high
[–]hahayeahthatscool 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (5 children)
What pen would you recommend to someone with a budget of like 150$
[–]saucedup2 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (4 children)
California Honey Disposable Pen. Could not compare to anything I've tried all the reusable stuff. This shit would hit me like a brick the blue dream and gorilla glue. I was a crackhead on these so take my word those are the best. They were probably $30 each if not less so you can get a lot for 150
[–]hahayeahthatscool 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children)
How long do they last with daily use? Do they cause a stink?
[–]saucedup2 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I used mine every single day for a month until it ran out. I would only take 5 or 6 hits. Any more than that you can't get any higher and if it's your first time more than 6 hits will have you paranoid as shit
[–]hahayeahthatscool 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Haha sounds fucking sick. good looking man thanks
[–]saucedup2 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Yeah no problem man. By the way no smell. If I smelled anything it was a popcorn smell
[–]theONE843663 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (4 children)
How the fuck do you stoners think weed helps with anxiety? Weed fucking gives me anxiety and makes me beta AF so much so that I never smoke in a public setting esp with people I don't know.
I rarely smoke btw only when I need to get my mind on overdrive.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Well weed, just like anything, is a different experience for everyone. I've never got paranoid being high, I just like the escapism. Much like OP I use weed as a crutch because it puts me in a state where past and future doesn't exist. It kinda centers me, if that makes sense.
[–]northern_yeti 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
From my experience, shitty weed gives me anxiety and paranoia. I also struggle like hell with ADHD, I used to get so wound up (still sometimes do, again.. struggling) and my anxiety would cripple me.
Until it became legal in my state, I never smoked. After reading up about natural ADHD remedies on a separate sub, I tried a couple strains recommended. I got really stoned, no doubt. But, there was no anxiety, no negative side affects, no super munchies, no couch lock. My entire perspective shifted.
When I have all my work done, nothing left unbuttoned and I get home, I smoke a bowl. I might get some hate for this, but after I smoke, I wait about 30-45 minutes and go to the gym.
I love it, my ADHD combined with the affects makes me laser focused and even though working out is euphoric without smoking, I prefer to go to the gym after a few tokes. That doesn't mean I get absolutely ripped out of my mind, that's unsafe for me and those around me.
Never in a million years would I believe that this would be how I used weed before a couple years ago. ADHD medication is great for some circumstances, but I've come to the conclusion that with exercise and a little smoke, my mental state is more calm and I have the ability to 'turn the noise off'. Plus, those prescription drugs can really fuck with your body and mind over a period of time.
Conclusion, pot affects everyone differently in an infinite amount of ways. For me, I don't drink as much (nutrition in mind), it hasn't made me lazier, and I use it as a reward after hard work physically and mentally. Granted, one could argue that it's a crutch, it probably is for most and maybe I'm hamstering my smoking habit.
Do you think that maybe weed causes you to become anxious because there are things you haven't confronted in your own mind? Maybe the affects cause you to become more introspective and the weed causes you to confront thoughts that are harder to face? Or maybe it causes you to feel uncomfortable in your own skin out of fear that those around you think differently of you since you've smoked or you're acting "weird"?
You do you and I'm not saying to start smoking, I'm just interested in your perspective because a couple years ago, I would have said exactly what you did.
[–]theONE843663 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Dude how high were you when u wrote that? And nah I've smoked good weed from the dispensery. Some of the weed was $16/gram and to me, it hit me even harder and made me anxious. When I'm by myself is when I enjoy it the most.
[–]hahayeahthatscool 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Smoking weed helped me a lot with monk mode and cutting roughly 140 lbs of fat
[–]fingerthemoon 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago* (2 children)
Weed makes me fat.
I know plenty of people who can use it moderately and claim it enhances their lives, some that claim it helps them immensely with illness and other problems, but I know even more people who say it makes them indulge in other behaviors that they know are unhealthy.
My experience is that it makes me not give a fuck, which is nice, but it also makes me hungry and crave all the shit that's not good for me, and I just can't seem to resist binging - ice cream, donuts, pizza, beer, chocolates, etc.
I eat healthy and powerlift, run, bike. But every month or so I end up smoking with friends and it sets me on a binge. I'll gain 8 lbs in two days and it'll take me two weeks to lose the fat. Was down to around 10-12% bf before my last binge. It's a fucking rollercoaster and I want off. Weed is always what derails me from my goals.
Just talking about it makes me want to get high and bliss out on food. It feels so fucking good I'll eat until I'm in pain. Some would say it's not the weed but regardless my mind has made the association and as long as I don't smoke I'm in control of what I put into my body.
[–]hahayeahthatscool 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago* (1 child)
you can try the eca stack, I can personally attest the eca stack takes away any appetite you once had while you're on it. it's also one of the most harmless stacks, you technically don't even need to cycle off. I use to just take the stack, smoke a few, pump out that stronglifts 5x5 and I was losing more than 2 lbs a week. The feeling you get when you see bulging muscles where layers of fat use to be 7 months ago is indescribable.
But like the other post explained weed helped me with the crippling loneliness of monk mode, which I understand almost kills the point of it but I cycled on and off with the weed enough to make sure I missed it. Weed always gave me a sense of abundance mentality where I kind of knew I had none. Even the idea of going home from work at 9 pm to a completely empty home EVERY NIGHT became harrowing. Later on though; knowing I had a few blunts waiting to get ripped into at my place fostered in me an outcome independence that I can sincerely say has helped me immeasurably to this day. Instead of desperately looking at the beautiful women at my workplace as a lifeline to save me from myself I viewed them for what they were, human beings that I could probably end up having a lot fun with.
[–]fingerthemoon 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thanks for the advice but I'm more into being natural. I've been lifting for a few years now and already have a nice body, I just want to get ripped and have only ever been able to get 4 pack before I gain weight again from binging.
I don't think it makes that much difference with the ladies, I just want to be lean for health reasons more than anything. And I want to be completely natural, just clean water and good food.
[–]redpill-account 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (8 children)
That's not necceisaely a bad thing.
Herb is a tool. Sometimes loneliness is necessary and unavoidable, if used properly then who is to say that's a Bad thing...
Like all things, moderation
[–]FREEDOM_OR_FUCK_YOU points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Weed is a crutch for the weak
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
As someone who has been smoking for almost 5 years daily, this is how I feel.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children)
lol I don't smoke but you're comment is trash.
Don't get mad at me because you're butthurt.
[–]claydn 35 points36 points37 points 2 years ago (1 child)
great story bro. i'm sure a lot of us can relate to your story here. your post has made me thought about sharing my story too, maybe someday. strive to be the best version of yourself every day.
[–]redpillren 31 points32 points33 points 2 years ago (5 children)
The power of now is a really terrific book. If you've not read it give it a read brother. Keep on keeping on, and thanks for the post. Peace.
[–]yunhaila[S] 18 points19 points20 points 2 years ago (3 children)
I read it a year ago. But the knowledge I gained only manifested itself when i was ready to accept the reality of my situation. I recommend this book for those who feel they can benefit from being absolutely comfortable with the present no matter if things are going good or really badly.
[–]northern_yeti 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Have you ever read 'A New Earth'? Similar ideas, same author, but talks about ego and 'the painbody' a lot and how they affect our lives. Still reading them both. Eckhart Tolle is one hell of an individual.
Give it a look if you have time.
[–]yunhaila[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I will. Thank you for sharing. I am also reading "The untethered soul".
[–]northern_yeti 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Gonna look into that one, thanks.
Literally was just about to recommend the same book. His books are extremely helpful.
[–]aigamithite 28 points29 points30 points 2 years ago (8 children)
This is my first time posting. If you substitute weed with porn you have me. My main difference is that I was always living in the future and not that much in the past, constantly sacrificing the present for a "better" future (no women now, just study and work, no fun more study and work). This has helped me career wise but as far as social interactions went it was a disaster with women. With men I had much better success and forged strong friendships with (unbeknownst to them) red-pill men.
Although I had a huge ego, where I always thought I was the smartest person I knew (academically and otherwise), on top of always being on the lookout for brawls (I grew up in a place when fights where very common so you always had to be ready for one), I never really loved myself for what I am; flesh and bones, desires and aversions, with some beliefs in between.
So I went monk mode for almost 3 months, after many attempts to stop this addiction and I plan to do this for the rest of my life. Orgasms will only be allowed with a vagina. I picked up meditation, yoga, I resumed reading religiously (Marcus Aurelius like everyone here, Nietzsche, Freud, meditation books) like I used to do when I was younger, and started going out by myself (concerts, athletic events you name it) if no one is up for it.
To add to OP's insights, the more layers of addiction I peeled, the more suppressed feelings I found. Loneliness, regret for countless opportunities I missed with women (to the point where I was explicitly told to have sex and I just said nuh gotta study), not being honest with my family, surrounding myself with weak and petty people in the last 5 years that kept on perpetuating my state of pettiness and so on.
What was hidden behind all this was a belief that I was not adequate; I would never be as successful or smart as my alpha-father, I would never bang as many women as my alpha-friends (distant friends now cause I moved), that I would eventually be beaten up to the point where I would be hospitalized. I can truly see these fears now for what they are; benevolent, but unrealistic constructs that my mind came up with in order to protect me from disappointments.
Quitting this poison called porn, reading a lot and going out 2-3 times a week, is starting to make me see what the world truly is. A place full of people just like me, each living on their own little world with their own problems and dreams. No one will give a fuck who I am and what I do (neither will you), no one will ever give me anything for free. I deserve only what I take. If I don't love myself, no matter how imperfect who will? So fuck the past and fuck the future. The past's future is now, and this soon will be past as well. The interface between these two, the present, is the only thing you are in control of, and the only thing worth giving a shit for.
No one will probably see this, but in the case stars align and someone like me, struggling with the same problems, gets a glimpse of it know that there is hope. All you have to do is to accept yourself and keep building. Use the past as the raw clay on the potters wheel (stolen) to shape your present. Only worry about the future when it becomes present.
Love yourself and everything else will come.
[–]waking-life 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Great first post. Bravo.
I still have a way to go and some of this rings true for me, thanks for posting.
[–]BigFaction 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Well said man. Thanks for the post.
[–]aigamithite 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thanks for your kind words brother; hope it is of help to any struggles your might be facing yourself.
[–]reecewagner 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I saw this and I needed to hear it, thank you
[–]aigamithite 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Anytime man- glad to be of help. Always remember there is hope and better times always come; hang in there. You are never alone.
[–]jeddzus 21 points22 points23 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Thanks for this OP, I've been thinking about kicking the weed habit for these exact reasons. Always beneficial to see someone on the other side.
[–]yunhaila[S] 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children)
People talk about "inner game" and frame all the time. I had no idea for a long time that my inner could be fixed with mindfulness. I wish you the best and hope that my experience allows you to come to terms with whatever's going on and deal with it with a more long-term method.
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (9 children)
As someone else already said your weed use was a symptom of bigger issues.
I've gone through this myself. Overthinking shit all the time, worrying about what other people think, overplanning/analyzing future scenarios. I became convinced that my smoking was the cause of this, so after struggling internally with this for awhile I stopped. That was a year ago, I've smoked a couple times in that period.
What I found was those thoughts were all still there, and became even worse for awhile. What I needed was a conscious shift in inner frame. This was an extremely stressful time in my life for several reasons, and I didn't handle the real stressors properly because I blamed my problems on weed.
You sound like your handling your issues well. Good luck going forward, but know that there is nothing wrong with the herb if you don't use it as a crutch.
[–]yunhaila[S] 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Yes I agree. I still smoke with friends if we're going to a comedy show or something. However I did notice I feel the same relaxation as I already have while sober. Instead of being "better" it was just different! This is somewhat new to me so I can't dive deeper into what this difference is. Perhaps I'll explore it in another post in the future on a relevant sub.
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (2 children)
It sounds like you are more grounded. When the mind runs rampant it tends to label things, set expectations, rationalize. Weed tends to enhance feedback loops of moods and thoughts, thats why people can experience it so positively and so negatively. You are simply observing its effects and not projecting anything onto it. Just my interpretation though, I'm sure you will find your truth is a little different.
[–]yunhaila[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Thats exactly how it is. Even though the description is vague, I think you understand how I feel. I did stop projecting, labeling, fretting about how it affects me and just observe. Like, "it is what it is" kind of feeling instead of oh my fluffy god im so happy mind all over the place thinking about the past and future kind of thing.
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Tried to keep it vague because I am just speculating based on my experience.. But yeah thats exactly it, the stoic mindset so often mentioned on here. Take things for what they are, keep your internal state constant, and don't get swept up into thoughts or emotions.
[–]PsychedPsyche points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
This sounds very similar to my situation. I have a lot of internal angst and my weed habit is under control and I also meditate daily. Still though, I haven't been able to really shake that overthinking/overanalyzing mind frame. What worked for you ?
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago* (3 children)
For me, a couple things:
-Detached myself from ego/self image and started just observing who I am. I was identifying far too much with this person I saw myself as/wanted to become. This created unnecessary shame and negative self talk any time I fell out of alignment with that. It is more important to me to be ok with myself in any situation than it is to achieve something. (I've actually achieved more with this mindset because I don't waste energy spiraling into negative mindsets)
-Having a mission/purpose to ground myself in any situation. I thought way too much about how others might be viewing me/judging me. By reminding myself of my purpose in any situation, it all becomes secondary. Anybody who judges a man acting with a well intentioned purpose that isn't harming someone, is not someone I give a shit about. Also, keeping my purpose in mind allows me to avoid getting swept up in positive or negative emotions/thoughts.
-Deep belly breathing, accepting whatever is going through my head as just what my mind is spitting at me, and focusing on my body when the thoughts spin up. (This was hard af at first and took a lot of slow practice and intention)
Environment can also play a huge factor in growing past this. It was the worst for me a year ago, when I was burned out from school + work, had shit for money, didn't know if I was gonna land a job I liked after graduation. That was a shitload of stress, and it didn't afford me time to focus on the underlying issues. I have made a hell of a lot of progress in the last 3 months since I graduated, got a great job, and moved to a new area and have plenty of free time.
[–]lugubriusTRP 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Could you expand on the "Deep belly breathing", is this like meditation on the go?
Breathing through your diaphragm (belly) allows you to take in more air. This means you get more oxygen and can breathe slower. Breathing slower slows your heart as well as your brain.
Really you should always breathe from your belly, but most of us are conditioned wrong and are stressing ourselves out from chest breathing.
[–]GeorgeKarlin 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
This, so much this !
Thanks for the sharing bro
[–]j33tAy 16 points17 points18 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Escapism is real. We all spend a lot of time, money and energy on it.
Weed, alcohol, other drugs, cigarettes, gambling, sex, social media, porn, television, texting, driving fast, fighting, hookers. I could go on and on.
All of these things are actually perfectly fine in moderation, in my opinion. There is nothing morally wrong.
The problem arises when someone fails to set goals or hit goals for their life because of the distractions.
[–]yunhaila[S] 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (1 child)
The reason this post rings true for so many people is that it doesn't have to be weed. It can be anything that you use to distract yourself from your inner chaos raging on inside that skull. When we see the reality, we can then deal with it in the right way.
[–]redditJ5 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You are so right about this. It can be anything.
I'm so glad you said this.
I'm currently celibate because I've been using women as validation. I'm not happy. I'm good looking enough to have quick flings but I can't just keep running from my problems anymore and using quick pleasure fixes to mask what's going on.
[–]3chazthundergut 37 points38 points39 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Weed is one of those things that is pretty harmless on the surface but can really set you back if you let it take hold of you.
Other drugs and alcohol can really fuck you up and make you hit rock bottom. With weed, it is more of a slow slide to a soft bottom. Things never get terrible, but it is more of a stagnation.
It is always best to be sober and clean, sound of mind and body. That being said, there are MANY things far worse than marijuana.
I also tend to see cannabis as a sort of tool for growth, a plant teacher (like mushrooms). Once in a while, it can be a powerful positive force in your life, and disrupt negative patterns of behavior.
I havent smoked pot for 8 years. I used to use it in the wrong way. I am interested in experimenting in the way you have described. Can you tell me more about how you view it and how you use it?
[–]Blemper -5 points-4 points-3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
department the potential fallout for when I met her.
[–]kelticslob 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (4 children)
I was a daily smoker for about 10+ years, and recently came to the same realization. Reading The Subtle Art... helped me realize that having the problems associated with improving my life (career, body, mind) are preferable to having a drug problem and avoiding painful change.
Haven't missed the chron one bit after a month off. Feels good man.
I'm glad you found your way as well. Honestly, if we have feel at peace, there should be no yearning for recreational drugs.
[–]Tiway22 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
You got a pdf link for that book?
[–]waking-life 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children)
[–]enigmatic_ammonite 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Your last quote is similar to one I like:
"A man must conquer himself before he can conquer the world."
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (3 children)
As I've been learning lately, a man always goes for the nearest dopamine fountain. I've noticed too that TRP preaches somewhat a stoic life, free of these pain-numbing good feelz. It preaches you to be out of your comfort zone, as much as you can and can't.
Weed is your comfort zone, you created a bond between the "predictive" good feeling with being creative and sometimes even social thing. Some people do the same with alcohol, although they drink to numb their pain. You see where I'm going?
By the way, this post hits home because my best friend is in deep with smoking cigars, weed and drinking daily. It pains me and even though TRP preaches to cut short these type of friendships, he was more red pill than I was. He started smoking heavily due to his father passing away. He created the bond between the good feel of drinking and smoking weed/tabacco to cope with his father's death.
Identify these unhealthy bonds and break them. You are taking steps in the right direction to a healthy life.
[–]yunhaila[S] 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (2 children)
The other day, my friend came over and could not wait to start rolling a j and smoke it. Even after I told him to relax and wait until our other friends arrived, since we were going to a museum together. He just looked so nervous and anxious. The weed didn't help, but at least he had something to do with his hands so he didn't feel empty.
I felt his anxiety, his emotional turbulence, leak through his body language and behavior. I don't want to be around him. He is in denial and must reach that point on his own. I tried what I could to invite him to practice mindfulness. But you cannot for a horse to drink the water, you can only lead him to it. The scary thing is that I saw my old self in him. And I did not like it.
[–]trevortackyl 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Your description of your friend sounds like a behavior I have. Come over as a good friend, but very eager to roll one up and smoke it. I never really thought of it, but I'm sure I give off the nervous and anxious vibe you describe.
In that case, if you are able to cut the thoughts that make you nervous, I am sure you'll find the same end of the rainbow as me. Acceptance is the first real step towards being free.
[–]saucedup2 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children)
That's exactly why I quit. I moved onto pills and started taking xanax Ativan and ambien heavily. If I ran out of weed and ambien there was no way I would sleep. I'd go work my dead end job come home get high and watch YouTube or some movie I'd forget entirely from start to end. I wouldn't even remember what I watched. When I started taking ambien I found myself calling people I don't even talk to and having almost drunk conversations. Those people never spoke to me again lol. I really was just throwing my life away trying to cover my depressing life by smoking weed and taking pills to make now feel better rather than facing everything. If it wasn't for my friends I would've still been at it even more depressed
[–]Mckallidon 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (0 children)
OP, I loved your post. As an addict and one who used to smoke a metric fuckton of pot, I relate 100% and think this is a good angle on self-improvement largely lacking in the community.
It's like you literally took the words out my mouth when you mentioned smoking to stay engaged and that you discovered that you have to find new things to be engaged in to get out of those traps. I used to smoke so much because besides the high, I liked the distraction of smoking, the ritual, etc, and realized that I was largely smoking so much to be engaged in something.
As I've gotten older I look back at things and realized why I did the things I did when I did them. Once I maintained a calisthenics routine and kept my life structured, life went on easy mode again.
[–]Thrurawai 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I've been using cocaine almost daily for 3 months or so and I needed to see this.
I feel like I'm on the brink of ruining everything I've been building over the last 3 years. Business, reputation, confidence, attraction.
Not even sure how it went from an "every now and then" thing to the crutch it is now, but logically I do.
Disappointed in myself. Need to kick out of this before the point of no return.
[–]Nidhogguryo 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
A year from now you'll wish you started today, start today friend.
Have you thought about substituting your habit with something productive to occupy your mind from letting cravings get the best of you?
Saw a friend go through this with Xanax. Granted, his road to sobriety was long. He weened himself down, asked his doc/friends/fam to help him get healthy, relapsed a couple times, but he beat his addiction by substituting the pills by rebuilding a motorcycle, building AR-15s, focusing on his marksmanship skills, rediscovered his love for playing drums and improving his home's equity.
I wish you well, friend. Don't give up on yourself and remember the negative self talk and guilt are a biproduct of the drugs. Reach out if you need to, I don't mind. You're going to be okay through some discipline and determination.
[–]Jokerx70 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Oh man i can relate to this been a huge pothead for the lst 3 years, i remember the first few weeks without smoking, no apetite , sleep was hard, felt depressed and lonely, but i had to stop i didnt have the discipline to smoke occasionally, for me smoking weed made me okay with doing nothing, which is unacceptable when you have goals and dreams you want to achieve. Meditation is truly something i feel you should pickup if your swallowing the red pill.
[–]analyticaltoafault 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (3 children)
That last quote...man that hits the spot. It's something I realized as a truth and had to tell myself when it came to my personal shortcomings. It is so fucking valuable and repeated in so many ways in society. We cannot be there to truly help others until we have helped ourselves, and often people begin helping others before they are best equipped as a means of escaping their own problems they need to work on. I know I'm a perpetrator of doing so and becoming conscious of that (really, becoming conscious of all things that myself and others do without thought) has greatly improved my life.
[–]yunhaila[S] 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children)
It hit the spot for me too brother. When I understood what it meant, I sat down and honestly came to terms with how I can't even control myself. From that moment on, I was opened to the power of mindfulness
[–]Blemper 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
It got shit on immediately.
[–]Taquisha_TriHard 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (4 children)
What kind of effect did weed use to have on you and how has it changed?
[+]Blemper comment score below threshold-12 points-11 points-10 points 2 years ago (3 children)
BP losers are so pathetic not only with women, but with some random chick from the bar, so really you lost nothing other than a half-drunken hookup with a purpose towards tribes that
[–]Taquisha_TriHard 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (1 child)
what are you talking about bro? im just wondering how his experience/effects of weed changed over time
[–]Spets87 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child)
From personal experience porn does the same thing. It's an immersion escape into some fantasy land to stop over thinking/ dealing with the difficult issues. Essentially a release from anxiety.
Ever since I started practicing mindfulness, I haven't had the urge to watch porn. I believe i was using that to escape as well.
[–]RuffSwami5 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I'm going through something similar right now. I'm a daily smoker but I feel that I'm smoking more to avoid the nothingness that life truly is. It's hard to quit smoking when sober you has nothing to look forward to, but high you is at least high. Makes things easier, but I know I can't keep it up.
[–]yunhaila[S] 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I was in the same place with the same thoughts as you. Do you exercise often? When I committed to lifting and bulking, I felt a lot better everyday. Sometimes its simply brain chemistry driving you toward the negative. Exercise is known to alleviate mild depression.
[–]lurking95 points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Fucking UPVOTE. Reading this was insightful...I feel like this concern with the past and future might be. How long into the meditation and weed abstinence until you started noticing positive changes/you felt "I did it"?
[–]yunhaila[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (3 children)
To be honest, I'm not sure, but it wasn't long. The most noticeable thing was being aware that my thoughts were working against me and knowing exactly what to do to regain mindfulness. That was noticeable right after my realization. The next noticeable thing was being able to do what I needed to do without being distracted (reading, papers, cooking).
I remember, I went to meet a couple friends and I was just at peace with myself. In the past, I would try to get responses or lead them this way or that. If someone ignored me or didn't show as much affection, I would feel anxious and want to try and change things. If someone praised me, I would feel really good.
Now, I just feel like everything is as its supposed to be. And if its bad, its okay. We have their ups and downs. As a result, people have expressed a lot more intimacy to me. And even when they praise me or say something nice, it doesn't even make me feel like I need to reciprocate. I feel like a rock solid stone, something people can actually relax around. People relax around relaxed people and open up. Sometimes, i think, "i am the most comfortable person in the world right now" in addition to my meditation line.
This is what I am aiming for, being grounded. I have been meaning to start meditating for MONTHS, but always put it off. I'll start soon...maybe tomorrow morning lol
Do it whenever your mind feels like its anxious. There is only one goal, mindfulness. And the perfect time is when you know you do not have mindfulness.
[–]Blemper 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thank you for the few, because you are foolish.
Hey man, really enjoyed your contribution, thank you.
[–]greatman05 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I have moderate clinical depression, also known as the "Functional Depressive." I've had it all my life, and only noticed it in high school as being a problem.
It's either therapy, depression drugs with horrible side effects, or weed.
I chose therapy and weed. I don't want weird man-made shit permanently fucking with my brain.
I've been getting a lot better since I had intense weekly CBT for about 9 months combined with self-prescribed weed and mindfulness training from my therapist.
Anything in excess is bad for you.
[–]MadeSomewhereElse 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (1 child)
OP for you it was weed and for me it was alcohol. In college I would only drink on the weekends so it never interfered with school, but I would drink a lot. When I finally went to the school psychologist for an overall assessment (not for drinking because it was more a symptom of the underlying issues) I said something similar. "When I drink I am 100% in the present". I've lessened my alcohol consumption since then, maybe to once a month. The gym has helped. I don't drink because it messes with my progress in the gym, calories and all that. Not to hijack, I just want to express that I know what you are going through and what you went through.
I appreciate you sharing your experience with us. Like another TRPer said, its great to have a community of men who are willing to do things to become better men. And men who understand what its like to go through these little victories.
[–]RedSuperiority 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I used to be the same way with marijuana. 2 months ago I starting smoking regularly due to my anxiety with school and work.
I later got bored of waking up drowsy from the high of the other night. Now I just smoke either in the middle of the day or a few hours before bed - simply for my left leg though, it hurts a lot after the gym or work so smoking usually helps it.
[–]CodeineCowboy 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Thanks for posting. I've been struggling with this myself for a long time. Not only because my predisposition to anxiety from my mother's side but having been diagnosed with PTSD at a young age, I definitely have a problem with trying to escape and isolate and I get very frustrated at times with meditation as it requires patience and practice and when you're spiraling into or out of a flashback state, it's very difficult to unwind enough to feel like 'meditating' is actually doing anything.
Not to mention, meditation itself doesn't generally give you the instant feeling of reward and relaxation that alcohol or pot does, its effects for me at least i've noticed primarily lingering in the time that follows meditation, although you definitely notice it somewhat right after you do it, but it's more subtle than a drug. A lot like the many things in life that we only seem to notice the effects in such a slow manner that we don't even form a mental association between how shitty we feel and why it's due to neglecting one thing or another, whether it's not exercising, neglecting our health or hygiene in some way, eating poorly, not socializing or over-socializing, etc.
I've taken a year off from weed because I also had an addiction to benzodiazepines (prescribed for PTSD for 5+ years) and felt it was best to give things time to get back to normal after they wrecked my brain chemistry because I was also smoking weed at that time. At first about 2 or 3 days a week until it became most days of the week then every day, eventually I was smoking quarter per month, and not long after a half ounce a month and wasn't even enjoying it when I did smoke because my tolerance was so high compounded with my inner turmoil and feelings of being stuck in a shitty point in my life.
Now, it's been a year, maybe even a year and a half, and I think I'm ready to give it a shot again this summer at least. This time around, I'm not going to fuck around with dealers who show up with inconsistent strains that do nothing positive for me and make me feel more on edge than before I smoked. I'm going to do my best to keep it strictly as a reward, and maintain it as a ritual like meditation to keep my body from going into that dependent state, because I know when I was heavy smoker, I'd have to smoke when I got out of bed just to keep from having stomach aches.
Likewise, I bought a barbell and some starter weights so I can get some lifting done and a bike trainer so I can get some cardio done on those days when it rains or it's too hot out so hopefully I can reward myself for my workouts.
The other thing I've noticed, as somebody with a predisposition to anxiety, the anti-anxiety property of weed is something I noticed predominantly not when I'm actually baked but the next few days after I've got high. I feel that weed stays in your system for quite some time after you've experienced the high, and acts as a sort of supplement to people like me who through anxiety disorders have possibly exhausted the neurochemicals for mental and physical relaxation. For this reason, I was going to look into CBD supplements, so that I could get the anti-anxiety properties of pot without always getting "fried" so I could maintain my focus on things like school work or actual work, without dealing with the anxiety, dissociation or paranoia that THC brings to the equation.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best of luck with dealing with your issues. My case is light compared to yours. I've never been diagnosed, but I believe I only had mild anxiety at the most. My mother has anxiety and I believe her way of dealing with things rubbed off on me throughout my childhood. I knew she is an anxious woman, but never thought myself as an anxious person until I caught myself recently. My main source of anxiety is when my thoughts go toward the past and future. For instance, I would continually think about how I made a mistake in the past and how not to do it again in the future, replaying that scene in my head over and over and then reconstructing what it could have been.
I would also think about what I want in the future with the people around me, setting expectations and getting frustrated when they don't comply. I would insult them in my head and just be sad or angry when this happens.
I found the best way for me to wipe these sort of past/future thoughts is to remind myself that the past and the future is part of my imagination. It doesn't exist. Whenever I think of these things, I am literally living in my imagination. One technique is to repeat that line about there being no past, no history and no future, only now. Another is to focus on breathing, close my eyes, and stay there until my thoughts disappear completely. Another is to lift. So far, these three things have helped me become immerse in my everyday moments. I would be happy if they worked on some level for you as well.
Thanks for sharing. I'm with you bro
[–]Wilky323 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Awesome man, glad you found peace. I have been dealing with anxiety for a long time and have yet to really deal with it.
I am hopeful this contribution leads you to the same conclusion. A single moment where you catch that thought or imaginary scene in your mind and you say, "hey, its happening". And you remind yourself that this is indeed imaginary as you clear your mind via meditation or exercise. You'll feel that inner sense of calm for a moment, until these thoughts come back. But everytime they do, you're ready. You know how to deal with them. And you do so as soon as you catch these thoughts. In no time, your thoughts will never stay long enough to haunt you.
[–]konfettiboy 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I just came home from sitting on a bench thinking "man, you gotta stop smoking so much." thanks a lot!
[–]the_red_monk 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Everyone I know who smoked daily lacked ambition and their lives stalled.
[–]yunhaila[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Perhaps its time to branch off from these people you know my friend. There are many who have ambition and smoke. Although I have seen weed increase lethargy in these people, the act of smoking is usually not synonymous with lack of ambition in my experience with stoner friends.
[–]the_red_monk 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I already have. I have friends who smoke daily but I don't keep them as close.
[–]Apexk9 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (9 children)
I love smoking my weed b4 sports helps me forget about everything and just do my instinctual play.
[–]yunhaila[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (8 children)
What if you could forget everything and do your instinctual play without weed?
[–]Apexk9 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (6 children)
I have a special strain that's made to increase focus and make you energetic. Normally I think too much and that takes me outta my zone at times and I make mistakes because I hesitate because I second guess which in hockey every second counts.
it also helps me forget I'm tired as fuck so I can go all out as well shift after shift.
Plus there's no better feeling (except cumming) with scoring a goal hearing all the cheers on drugs.
Plus them I also have a chill out weed I use when I'm just wanting to relax.
Though weed makes me think a lot so I relive the past lots and think of the future but at a young age i repressed my emotions so I'm not to invested in those thoughts.
I also have a strain for pain which helps when I'm sore or have a headache.
Plus all the strains help with mental health issues which I don't have but hey that's nice. (Depression anxiety have one that's great to fight insomnia)
If you get your weed from the street you be doing a disservice to yourself.
Depending what I'm doing I got a bud for that.
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I get you man. People always say "weed slows you down". I always experienced it as a boost in instinctual/subconscious thinking. When it came too sports, guitar, repetitive jobs, solving equations.. any process I had the fundamentals down on, it put me in the zone and I could push 5x harder, I just flowed without thinking.
[–]LostLittleBoi 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child)
You're pretty right, and that's the correct way to use weed AFTER you've got the fundamentals down. And I mean of life too, most stoners are 16-26 and people that age, myself included, do NOT have the fundamentals down for living a good life 90% of the time.
Truth, so instead its used to feel good while engaging in bad habits, which only ingrains them in more. There is power to the herb, and as with all power we should all be particularly cautious with how it is used.
[–]LethalShade 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Do you live in Colorado/Washington that you can specific strains of weed legally? I also think there might be some use to use it productively instead of only recreationally but playing hockey when high is a new one to me. I'd assume you smoke more CBD concentrated stuff so you're not high out of your mind on the ice?
[–]Apexk9 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Well no I'm in Canada.
I used to buy street bud and didn't know shit there are 2 types indicated and sativa strains and one is a chill do nothing other is energetic.
I just got a dispensery weed for the first time so I choose a strain based on reading online and it has some great benefits n effects.
So I have the atria that energizes you not the on you ass one. So I take a quick hit b4 a game and it gets me good.
I think weed can treat lots of illness naturally and it's a shame public relations from pharmaceuticals is holding it down low.
Totally agree with Apexk9's comment.
Marijuana is like fine wine(or liquor). Different strains do different things to people. Very much a tool to be used in moderation if it works for you.
Weed puts me in the zone when it comes to working out and tasks requiring hyperfocus. The stereotypical pot smoker cliche is false and needs to be put to rest.
[–]devanmc 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I do this and am working to stop smoking regularly as i realized it this winter. Anxiety attacks suck when you let it sit long enough.
Good luck to you. I find that when I rid my mind of all thoughts, my urge to smoke evaporates with it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Buddha Lovas! Gotta learn to smoke the Buddha. I'm so glad you showed me, Crazy, Lazy (Wish, Flesh), reefer really makes me happy!
[–]EsportsSAN 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Wow... Thank you so much for this. This is incredible
I'm happy to hear of your change
[–]yunhaila[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thank you. I hope it resonated with you in a positive way.
[–]waking-life 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Well done on the self-improvement.
Weed and video games is a toxic mix. I used it to escape from everything negative in much the same way. At times, I'd take a break for a couple of weeks to see if it was affecting me and if there was a noticeable difference. Of course, that's not long enough to truly understand how reliant I was on it. I told myself I felt the exact same without it, so I'd start again.
After my oneitis smashed my heart into pieces and branch swung, I found TRP, started lifting and eating right and stopped smoking (and video games). And I feel less depressed/anxious, much more focused and generally more in tune with society (which I feel weed pushes you away from).
Meditation is something I want in my life but haven't started that just yet. Thanks for your post, it's helped remind me to find time to learn to meditate. Best of luck to you.
[–]yunhaila[S] 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (2 children)
One thing I keep hearing in the TRP/pua community is that inner game is basis behind everything. Theres a lot of people out there saying do this, do that, but I had never realized that inner game is merely confidence brought on by relaxation of the mind. The combination of reading The Power of Now last year, wanting to become a better man, and reading TRP daily put me in a state that culminated in my realization.
Reading posts like these is one thing, but catching your thoughts spinning out of control and tackling it as soon as you do is much more powerful. Next time you feel nervous or sense any body language anxiety (tense eyebrows, tense shoulders, heart beating faster) just relax, close your eyes, and remind yourself that nothing in the past or future really matters. Only now. You'll feel your body relax, your thoughts slow down. The world will feel more beautiful. You'll feel as if you're doing everything for the first time.
If you are alone at home when you catch yourself, just turn off all distractions and sit down, close your eyes, and repeat your reminder until you have no more thoughts.
[–]waking-life 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Thanks for your reply. I'm going to give it a shot. Soon. I promise.
[–]YouSoGetMe 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Next time you feel nervous or sense any body language anxiety (tense eyebrows, tense shoulders, heart beating faster) just relax, close your eyes, and remind yourself that nothing in the past or future really matters. Only now. You'll feel your body relax, your thoughts slow down. The world will feel more beautiful. You'll feel as if you're doing everything for the first time.
Next time you feel nervous or sense any body language anxiety (tense eyebrows, tense shoulders, heart beating faster) just relax, close your eyes, and remind yourself that nothing in the past or future really matters. Only now. You'll feel your body relax, your thoughts slow down. The world will feel more beautiful. You'll feel as if you're doing everything for the first time.
I totally needed to know actually what to do, many thanks for this, you're an inspiration.
[–]1Tommy_407 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I can relate to this. Alot. Except my poison was different.
If you thought weed was tough, be grateful it wasn't heroin
[–]LongLegLegend 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You da man for this post kudos 2 you bub!! Thanks
[–]doublewhammy18 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Guys who smoke weed (including me),
This is by far one of the most important things you better get into your head. Smoking weed is the shittiest thing you (& I) could be doing. Just because a drug doesn't have any deaths reported does not make it good in any way. When you smoke up, you forget about everything. If you're working out, this shit is bound to fuck your progress up. If you were to progress 100%, and doing all you can, smoking this shit will reduce it drastically.
Caveats A MAN must know how to roll, for smoking up can be used in fields where the hot chick does too.
Stop doing this thing recreationally. If you're doing this, slowly curtail it down and see the benefits for yourself.
Many men have preached that all men should stop smoking. However, tackling this issue by saying, "its bad, don't do it" is not hitting the nail on the head. We all use different drugs for different reasons. Perhaps those who use it purely in social gatherings to strengthen the bond between friends is not considered to abuse drugs.
However, addiction/dependence/escapism stems from a deeper issue. Dissatisfaction with life, loneliness, lethargy, lack of improvement can lead to anxiety, depression and drug use. The first step is awareness of these deeper issues. The second step is accepting who you are right now. And the third is finding out how to deal with it. This post is meant for those who are ready for the third step. The first two must be traversed on your own.
[–]TheElite3740 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I wish this wasn't removed. Anybody saved?
[–]epistemic_humility 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Hey OP you and me both my man. I'm on day 80 with no herb and I'm a new man.
[–]yunhaila[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Congrats. It really is a change towards a brighter future.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Nice work on speaking truth to power. Too often, potheads say dumb fucking shit like "I function just fine" or "I'm better at [x] when I'm high."
Pot makes you dumb, slow, and lazy. Full fucking stop. If you want to win, if you want to be better than the guy next to you, you have to be sharp and cold blooded, and that's not going to happen when you're relaxed and content.
Don't get me wrong, I personally have a problem in the opposite direction where I rely too much on caffeine, but I don't know anyone in the corporate c-suite that smokes. We need to dispel the myth that pot is compatible with all aspects of reaching your full potential.
Yeah, you can close a girl when you're high, but it's not something we should really be giving an unqualified pass on.
[–]RoboRaptorReindeer 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I must respectfully disagree with you here.
It does not inherently make you dumb, slow, and lazy. If you choose to use it that way, sure. But for someone committed and in control of themselves, it can be a tool to do the exact opposite.
Also, you should keep in mind that most people who do drugs are very good at hiding it. I'd wager you have several colleagues who use something and you have know idea.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Sometimes you need your escapes. I want to escape from reality too. Gonna listen to some Bone Thugs and Blaze it so I can feel good.
I do not need to escape from anything anymore. I am at peace with who i am and what is happening around me at this moment.
U could look at any real powerlifter or olympic lifter worth a shit and you'll see they talk about little else.
[–]pmelton317 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Definitely feel this one. An organisms basic function is to survive and reproduce. Doing any sort of drug reduces your chances of fulfilling your potential as a human being, and is an obvious indication of a weak state of mind. I'm not saying they can't be helpful sometimes and open your mind to new things, but you have to ask if you as your highest self would still be doing themd
[–]sm0kemonster815 points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
I'm not a smoker, but I can relate to a lot of what you're putting down. Especially the lack of immersion. Thank you for your insights and inspirations
Cheers. I think this is relatable on other levels than weed because we all use something as a form of escape at some point in our lives. But if you're immersed in what you are doing, by having no thoughts about the past or future, there is nothing to escape from.
I first found the concept of immersion in Daniel Rose's Sex God.
[–]iplayhearts 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Yes. I have a friend who needs to see this shit right here. I'm on this same shit but I started this Win Hof shit dude. Jumping in these frozen lakes helps your mental focus and mindfulness
[–]LilMooseCub 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Hey man. Same boat. Daily smoker. Me and my friends started a tolerance break so that on the 20th we could start again.
For a long time I've known I smoke too much, and whenever I've tried to quit that anxiety would manifest in my behavior just like you said. And I end up pushing away people I love.
This post has meant a lot me and I am going to try meditation, and being immersed in my environment.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (0 children)
He is choosing a dvd for tonight
[–]codingbuffnerd 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (3 children)
hi, 6months here almost daily with short breaks here and there.. my gym time suffers, everything suffers. I put myself in a position I HAVE TO WORK or else I'm deeply fucked yet I smoke weed. I knew what am I doing to myself using this much but reading the same thoughts I have pains me. Have to do something with this addiction, it's really time consuming and unproductive.
[–]yunhaila[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children)
Why do you smoke? Does it relax you? Does it make you calm? Does it make you have more fun?
[–]codingbuffnerd 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago* (1 child)
Because it's relaxing, makes me numb to emotions, my thoughts are focused at the current moment (in a bad way, tho), but make me forget about past and future. Don't get me wrong, I made a huge progress in the last 4-5 years, but my last gig fell apart, issues with my close family, left my LTR and the shit just pilled up in the last ~6 months and I'm barely handling it. I did smoke weed before, but it was always with company&from time to time&at party. Now I'm a daily smoker. Shitty addiction, tbh.
Your OP is really all there is. This could be said about any addiction and it would hold.
There are some strains worth trying or smoking, but before I get my shit together I should be doing something else than escaping from reality.
All I can say to add to your point is: Embrace reality. Drive away all thoughts of desire, regret, about the past and future. Become the most comfortable man in the world, wherever you are, with whatever you do.
[–]Bb22134 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Great post man and I can totally relate...I was smoking everyday when I realized that smoking weed makes you super content with life.Not saying that's a bad thing, but if you're not content without smoking, there's probably a reason and you shouldn't be trying to escape it, you should be tryin to tackle the root of the issue. I did this vipassana retreat that was 10 days of silence, fasting, and like 8 hours a day of mindfulness meditation.If you're thinking about taking mediation seriously I'd highly recommend attending one. It's free and run solely off of donations.
[–]NewinChiraq 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
I believe I maybe in somewhat the same boat. I smoke almost religiously probably 3-5 times a day. (1-3 bowls a session bong/vape). The thing is I have conflicting feelings about it with you. I am currently a fourth year pharmacy student and TBH the weed helps me deal with the bullshit of graduate school/trying to be a health care professional. I also lift pretty hard (6day PPL -> 5day Nsuns) so the exercise is great for calming my mind. I used lifting as a form of meditation and stress release in pharmacy school and I can say that without it I wouldn't have made it through school. While I totally agree with you that weed causes people to be content with what they have or helps them immerse themselves at the task at hand. I have found that as long as you have motivation/determination to complete your daily tasks and further yourself in life what is the problem with smoking? The problem happens is when you let "being high" take advantage of you and everything else starts to slip because of it. In school, I used pot/lifting as a de-stresser from rigors of studying in a new state with out my family. I don't know if it is wierd that since everyone has told me smoking pot would always be detrimental towards me, but to me I have seen it as the opposite. It helps me be a calmer person, helps me take more time to think a decision through, it also has never put a hamper on my motivation/studies/social activities granted I smoke specific strains for certain times of the days.
I used to believe in the same thing. What changed for me is that I didn't want to feel stressed out anymore. In the past, having to do menial tasks would trigger a stressful thought, such as, "i don't want to do this, I want to be doing this, I should be doing that". And I had a lot of that. I was a full time student who started online businesses in my senior year. Currently, I'm finishing my last year while employed 30 hours a week at a consulting firm, and in charge of my second business. Theres a lot of menial tasks I have to do as well.
In the past, i would use weed to quell my stressful thoughts to keep me engaged with these tasks. However, I was still going through phases of stress. My determination was on never letting that stress accumulate again.
I found that after my experience i posted, I do not get those stress inducing thoughts anymore. By being immersed in anything I did/having no thoughts that made me desire to be somewhere I'm not, I no longer felt the urge to pick up the pipe.
[–]OneInAZillion 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I'm going to write a post similar to this one in about a month, except for porn.
[–]Throwitawaynowwwz 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Weed isn't an issue. I've been vaping for 5 years. I simply choose it over a beer. I prefer it over alcohol.
Been lifting and doing yoga religiously for the past two years, along with meditation and following a good diet. Everyday my body is in the best shape it's ever been - and it feels amazing.
Living as a single male in a huge city. I'm closing in on making my first six figure income, hopefully this year.
I've had opportunities to travel all over the US and meet many beautiful women and men many of which I made new friends with.
Point is, you can be very successful - or even go from being poor to successful - on weed. Weed doesn't hold you back. It's yourself.
But no matter what the substance - be it weed, alcohol, or coke. If you're not smart, don't budget, or generally lazy - well you get what you put in.
Might I also add that vaping/smoking weed before a workout is basically like pre-workout for me
That's correct. The point of the post is that many of us many be using substances to deal with inner problems. If you aren't, it is different.
I do warn you about weeding before the gym. I hear it is bad for your heart. I urge you to verify this with research.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I feel you bro, we are in the same page with this.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (4 children)
This post really spoke to me dude.
[–]yunhaila[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children)
You got it brother. Since writing this post, I've come through one more important change. Do not seek happiness in achieving things outside your control.
Seeking constant happiness is an impossible task. Switching my mindset to seeking suffering instead forced me to focus on the things i truly care about.
For example, I want to be many things: rock star, player, muscular and built, singer, dancer, businessman, painter, philanthropist. Each image I have of me doing these things well is attractive. But each comes with its own sets of suffering. The ones who come out successful are the ones who enjoy the set of suffering set by their career choice.
In order to be a rockstar, you'd have to suffer through 10,000 hours of menial practice. I realized whenever I practiced guitar, I only sought the happiness of playing. I never got pass basic musical reading and never memorized the circle of fifths in the 5 years of playing (as a hobby).
In order to be a top player, you'd have to suffer dealing with multiple girls and their drama, pregnancy scares, and going out non-stop in the pursuit of improving game. I do not want to go out nonstop and I do not want to deal with multiple girls at once. Though the idea seems nice, the suffering was not inline with my values. Sure I'll keep improving my game, but I will never be the best of the best.
In order to be a philanthropist, you'd have to suffer endless hours of public speaking, leafing through all the charities and making sure they are legit, and the humanitarian work that comes with it. Sure, the idea is great, but I've tried and my heart doesn't let me take on that suffering.
It all depends on your values, which usually shifts as you get older. Focusing on the suffering allows you to find what you truly value. I found myself suffering through the work of a businessman. I want to be the top and I am willing to go through whatever suffering it comes with it. I've stayed up all night working on my business. I've spent almost every day reading business books and biographies. I regularly build and test new ideas. Because it is what i truly value, the suffering comes naturally and not as forced as the other careers.
If I had kept chasing dreams which I wouldn't suffer for, I'd get severely depressed.
Secondly, I've learnt to be okay with feeling bad and not do anything about it. I just say to myself, i feel shitty, or this feeling sucks and thats it. I used to say 'i feel shitty' then proceed to think 'how do i fix this'. Any action born out of sadness, anger, or any other bad emotions usually makes you end up digging a deeper hole. When you feel shitty, don't try to fix it. It is natural to feel down as much as it is natural to feel good. Trying to fix that feeling only leads to anxiety. To truly live in the moment, I've learnt to accept bad feelings as they come. It is much more relaxing than trying to always be happy.
People like you are the philosophers of our day. Role models in the age where role models are scarce. I look up to people like you bro, your honesty with yourself will only sling you forward.
We are all together in this sub. Once just a lurker, I now act, evaluate, and post my conclusions based on anecdotal experience. The only way to go higher is to raise those around you higher than yourself. You're already doing that by positively commenting on posts. Good luck on your path, brother
I love how you switched the frame to suffering rather than pleasure. Check out David Goggins you remind me of him.
[–]gradchad points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Seems like you're still being peer-pressured into smoking at social events. IMO you should not smoke. Ever.
This is the next thing im comprehending. I'm leaning towards you on this. However recreational drugs have been used throughout history in social gatherings to bring together the tribe in times of celebration. So I'm uncertain whether or not cold turkey is the best path.
I think this is true, but you have to consider how people around you celebrate and how often. Variety is the spice of life. I try not to get involved with people who want to get high every time I see them... I like people who mention it mischievously, not expectantly.
Yeah. Variety is good but with the right people. I agree completely. Thank you for verbalizing this.
[–]ZenplusZen 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
You might just be replacing an addiction with an addiction. Get a book called "Natural rest for addiction" and just end the cycle once and for all!
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 2 years ago (7 children)
This is all in your head. You're blaming weed for bigger issues in your life.
Now all of the sudden weed doesn't give you that "good" feeling anymore? Cmon.
I'm also surprised to hear that weed made you only think in the moment. When I smoke, I tend to think about everything intensely, at any time, whether that is the past or present.
[–]yunhaila[S] 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (4 children)
Perhaps we are at an understanding. I am not blaming weed, i'm trying to say that i was using weed to escape my inner demons. Once I dealt with my anxiety, weed has a different effect.
[–]j3m4090 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (3 children)
I can vouch for that. Maybe you should check your hormonal levels because there might be a problem higher then smoking. Everyone told me it was the weed that was making me lazy but it's really was a list of symptoms that eventually led me to see medical help. Be better be stronger but understand its no different then taking dandelion root pills or drinking ginseng.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (2 children)
I can smoke before just about anything and behave just fine.
I guess everyone is different.
[–]yunhaila[S] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Indeed. Some of us have deeper issues and use weed to cover it up.
[–]Lock-out 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
I wouldn't say it's all in his head. I love weed, I smoke to help with social anxiety and minor insomnia I've had since I was a kid. The past few weeks I haven't been able to smoke for a job and this has been the most stressful time. It can both help and hurt a lot of people some people do use it for an escape and that's not healthy and not what weed is meant to be. Weed isn't for everyone and he should do what makes him happy and less stressed so he can live a full and productive life.
[–]italianking13 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children)
I wrote a whole post on this. I had a similar past as you. http://returnofvirtue.com/the-age-of-the-stoner/
[–]julius42 points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
Nice post, but all of these changes started only 2 weeks ago? I'm sorry but I can't take it seriously, although I wish I could.
[–]yunhaila[S] -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (3 children)
I believe its my first real step towards mindfulness.
I believe you are on a good path, but it's just absurd thinking you beat depression, anxiety, and changed your life with just 2 weeks of exercise and meditation.
I see where you are coming from. However, I believe so nonetheless. I wish you best of luck on your path.
[–]untitled_redditor -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (3 children)
Weed. Occasionally. More than that you're an idiot.
[–]Phaeer points points points 2 years ago [recovered]
I'm succesful in all aspects of life. I'm happy, don't have anxiety, lift weights, have a good job, don't have any problems getting laid. I have smoked every day for 15 years. I know the health risks and I'm willing to roll that dice.
I have a hard time figuring out why I'm an idiot for doing that.
[–]untitled_redditor -2 points-1 points0 points 2 years ago (1 child)
Maybe if you smoked less you'd get it ;)