Title says it all, what you're about to read is a guide to initial conversations with girls (in real life). Before that however, I'm gonna put a little background and maybe an anecdote or two to give you an idea of where I'm coming from and why I'm saying what I'm saying.
Hey guys, I'm Enderman. You might remember me from my 11 Lessons post way way back. I'm 6'3, 185 lbs, I workout no less than 6 days a week, regularly get 8 hours of sleep, eat as healthy as I can, and I don't ever drink unless I'm with a pretty girl to augment our night. My partner count is in the double digits, though I prefer to fuck the same girl for several months at a time, provided she's good to me. And let's be honest, they always are. I have a 6 pack, I aspire to be an Olympic Rower, and when I gain an extra 10 lbs of muscle, I plan to be a male model. I'm a 20 year old computer science major, but what I really wanna do is start a personal training company for skinnyfag ectomorphs who are all sick and tired of measuring in at 6'1 and 135. Been there, done that, never again fam.
There, now that you suffered through reading all that, I'd venture to guess you really don't give a fuck who I am or what I'm about. And why not? Obsensibly, I'm attractive, athletic, intelligent, I have goals, blahblahblahblahblah. But there's something I'm missing, and it's the most important thing of all: I'm not you. Furthermore, not only am I not you, but I'm also complete stranger with whom you have no emotional attachment whatsoever to. Why? Because, again, we're total fucking strangers, so how could you possibly care? You fucking narcissist. But it's fine, I am too. We all are.
The lesson here is that typically, out of everyone in the room, people tend to care about themselves the most.
I consider myself the furthest thing from a pickup artist. I don't have a silver tongue. In fact I'm so bad with words, it's probably a rusty copper tongue, not that that's actually possible. See, I'm a shitty smoothtalker, and I consistently say the thing at the wrong time. But that's fine, never stopped me, you don't need to be clever to make chicks like you, it's not about what you say anyway.
Rules for conversation
1.) It's her show, not yours. You know who you are, you know you're a baller, and sure, you want her to know that too, I get it. But do you really think telling her how much you benchpress or how you've got a real fancy job is gonna make her dig you more? Sure, maybe, you've got something really impressive going on, and maybe, simultaneous to that, even though she has no relation to it, maybe her life's boring enough to take an interest in yours. Or, much more likely she's all tied with with important shit of her own and she could care less about the life of a complete stranger. Again, she's not emotionally invested in you (yet). I've had infinitely more success with "hey, you look down, what's wrong?" and making them feel better about their shitty day, giving them someone to talk to for 5 minutes, and actually caring about whats up in their world than trying to 'demonstrate value' or some other egocentric bullshit...say, "hey, look at me I'm tall and white and athletic".
The truth is, like you, like me, she too is mostly absorbed in her own little world and the only real value you have to offer is how you can make her feel.
2A.) When you wanna describe yourself, tell stories. It's like english class. "I'm a fun guy," Says no fun guy in the history of ever. Instead, you talk about how this one time you drove down to Mexico with all your little friends on Spring Break and spent the week windsurfing in paradise - that's fun. I constantly lead with stories, and then I tie it back to the original topic. And they don't have to be long stories either, just a sentence or two of something cool you did or some problem you overcame.
2B.) When you tell stories, make them relevant to the topic at hand. Unsolicited stories are annoying when they don't relate or add value to the conversation. Just yesterday, I met this chick, and we talked for a bit, I ended with her number and a date. At one point early on, I told her her accent's sexy, where's she from? And she said to me, "the Caribbean, do you know what that is?" And my response was to talk about how about once a year, my dad and I used to go scubadiving in the Grand Cayman there, fuckin' gorgeous. What island are you from? Stories should also be casual, and they should end with something for the person to go on, ideally in a position to talk about themselves.
3.) If there's something to be said, say it. Especially if it's a compliment and it's genuine. And honestly, I'm still working on this, but I'm almost there. I met the most beautiful girl in the world (walking right out of the 711 I was in) I'd ever seen yesterday, waiting for the bus. And I was walking over, and then the bus came, and I said to her, "hey 711 girl wait up, I just gotta tell you that you're gorgeous as fuck." And she smiled a lot and said aww thank you, and I probably made her day, but the bus came too soon and I didn't get her number. And that's fine, cause that's actually the first time I've ever opened to a girl telling them something bold like that (normally I have a 10 minute conversation about a whole range of topics then end with, "you seem interesting and I'd love to get to know you. what's your number" or on those lines). This week though, I'm experimenting with being more bold and kicking it up a notch, see how that goes.
4.) Be silly. I'm 6'3, so I frequently ask girls how tall they are. They always give a straight answer, "I'm 5'3, how tall are you?" Oh yeah, me too. Then I squat down a foot to be 5'3. Then they giggle a tiny bit cause it's funny but not too funny and i tell them, "I'm actually 8 feet tall". No you arent! "Oh yeah, I'll prove it." Take out my drivers license, gloss my eyes over the part where it clearly says HEIGHT: 6'3" and i pretend to read it aloud "8 FEET TALL". And 9 times outta 10, as lame as this sounds writing it, I get giggles and amusement off something as mundane as ones height.
5.) An extension of rule number 4, have fun and do whatever the fuck you want. Yesterday I was at the dining hall, and I got bored so, for some strange reason, I decided it'd be a fun idea to steal all the bananas in the banana basket (there were no less than 30, it's more of a crate actually). So I go over there, scout the place out, and this pretty girl comes over to grab an orange and I say to her, "hey what's your name?" Carly. "Hey Carly, I'm Enderman, I need your help fam." Alright..with what? "You see these bananas? Well I'm gonna steal all of them." And she starts laughing her ass off and we spend the next 5 minutes taking 3 bananas at a time, putting them in my bag until they're all gone. And I get to know her, and I get her number, and I saved myself in her contacts as "The Banana Dude" cause why the fuck not. People's lives are so boring, working or studying with the occasional hedonic escape into drugs and alcohol - if you can break the monotony, sure some people might think you're a weirdo, but there's gonna be a lotta people who think you're the shit for it. And those are the people you wanna know anyway. Do whatever you want and have fun doing it. Honestly, just stop giving a fuck.
Conclusion: be silly, be fun, be confident, say what's on your mind, don't be a narcissist. Tell stories, pay attention to what girls say, when you approach a girl, you're often entering their world, make them feel important.