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Red Pill Theory"NOTICE ME!" (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by OneInAZillion

I used to hate the game. I used to hate that women rarely initiated with me, and it was up to me to do everything. They'll put out all the signs in the world but will never get fed up enough to go "fine, I'll just go get him myself!" It's up to me (a man) to sack up and face the possibility of rejection. I've missed countless opportunities because I was a very shy person up until my mid 20s.

I used to hate the way things worked - but now, I see what I call 'the game' and I've just come to accept it.

Women are like fisherman - they cast out their 'line' and hope something bites - They'll cast out a lot of lines, but they'll never just stick their hand in the pond and try to grab a fish, because then she'd have to deal with the failure of not catching a fish when she actively tried to get one.

Women will send out all the signs, amounting to "NOTICE ME AND MAKE A MOVE ALREADY!!". As a former introvert and semi anti-social with a fear of rejection myself, it used to drive me insane. Now I just have a good laugh over it.

Point being - don't hate the game. Exploit the living shit out of it for your own personal gain, and enjoy it.

I've got one particular example - I'm not really 'exploiting the game' here, I'm just enjoying the stupidity of female logic at play, and wondering how long it'll go on for:

I'm barely active on social media, but when I do post something, the same girl (we'll call her S) 'likes' all of it, sometimes comments, etc. I never reply or even acknowledge her. She isn't deterred from her passive-aggressive social-media 'flirting' and just keeps going. I admire her persistence.

The last time we actually spoke was around 5 months ago - where I nexted her because reasons. The way we left things, I made it extremely clear I don't need her and she's bitter as all hell about it. Not my problem. S lives within walking distance of me. She could walk to my place anytime if she wanted. She could swing by with a coffee and try to get whatever relief she needs about where we left things, but that's just not how the female mind works.

In that 5 months, she's pouted a bunch, but only tried to talk to me once - around 3 months ago, but I just gave her one word answers and make it pretty clear I have no interest in her. She's not bad looking either. She's cute as hell but a complete bitch where it counts, and I just don't need that kind of childishness in my life.

Here's her logic:

"If I like enough of his posts he'll eventually text me!" aka it's his job to do the work even though I clearly like him a lot more than he likes me. Her due diligence in this matter is to make herself available - to convey to me that she's available to me if I so choose, but she won't put her ego at risk and face a possible rejection. Her job is to put herself in a position to be the recipient of an offer (coffee, drinks, etc.) wherein she gets the luxury of choosing.

S is in no way starved for sex. Like every other cute girl in her early 20s, she's got unlimited access to dick and men falling over each other trying to get her attention.

Now I don't want anything from this. I don't even want her to text me asking to hang out or anything. I just find it funny that she hasn't. She'll stalk my social media and make it VERY clear to me that she exists, but won't ever pick up the phone and do the dirty work herself. At this point I just laugh because of the ridiculousness and about how thanks to you fine gentlemen I know exactly what's going on. 2 years ago I would have validated her cries for attention and lost all value in her eyes. Now instead, I'm the one losing a lot of respect for her due to seemingly endless desperation.

I've found this theme to be the case through my whole life. And as an introverted person who still somehow manages to generate a decent amount of female attention, I've had girls 'throwing up signs' to me my whole life. Eventually they got pissed that I didn't ask them out and they moved on to one of the other guys who had the sack to face a 'no'. It's regretful, but not a complete tragedy. It's annoying that as a man I have to do everything and she's just the passive recipient of it all, but that's life. Trying to change women's nature is a ridiculous pursuit, despite how irritating it can be.

In the past few years, I've worked a lot on myself and managed to reconnect with a few of them over sex (nostalgia is A HELL of an aphrodisiac), and unanimously every single one of them says something along the lines of "well it's about time!", and of course I'm thinking "Well if you had done what I couldn't in high school we would have fucked then instead, but I was a gigantic pussy so yeah, that's why nothing ever happened".

You ever see that movie The Notebook? (Shut up, yes you have). Remember that scene where the girl is like 'WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE ME? I WAITED FOR 7 YEARS!'. That's exactly the kind of shit I'm talking about. She could have written him instead and probably solved everything in a week but "nah, I'll just cry a bunch and wait around forever for him to do it."

Such is the female mind.

Lessons learned:

  • Don't be afraid of rejection

  • Know how life works and use it for your personal gain and amusement.

  • Women are gigantic pussies when it comes to facing rejection

  • The guys who get laid are the ones who aren't afraid of hearing the word "No", and have heard it a shitload of times.


[–]Frigzy 143 points144 points  (22 children)

Women don't initiate the interaction because there are too many risks involved. What if the guy she opens up is actually a cowardly and incredibly needy beta that won't let go? What if the guy perceives her move as desperate or slutty? The chances are actually quite high, whereas they are next to nonexistant when throwing out the bait. Depending on how obvious the bait is of course. Active pursuit is a strategic failure for women.

I think the same reasoning goes for initiating commitment. Even though so many men fail to grasp the dynamics properly, it should be up to the woman this time to push for it. She should convince the guy to be worthy of commitment. If a guy initiates it, he risks losing value by showing his limited options, not screening well enough, pushing commitment onto a girl who's not convinced etc. Active pursuit is a strategic failure for men.

I'm perfectly fine with the way the game works. It's set up perfectly for men who develop themselves. All the good stuff is literally out there for the taking. The only potential downside is that even though you can have your pick in terms of seduction, at the end of the day it's the woman who needs to pull the LTR trigger. Then again that's hardly a concern for many men.

[–]clme 64 points65 points  (11 children)

And yet they have no qualms initiating if the dude is extremely hot. They drop all precautions and jump on/ (at their chance of) Chad.

[–]Frigzy 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Yup, just like blue pilled guys will do the same for an LTR with a perceived unicorn.

[–]FrgElder points points [recovered]

Women are people just like us and will also occasionally engage in high risk / high reward behavior. The chance of getting Chad's dick/attention/genes are well worth the risk of rejection.

Nobody in their right mind is going to go into a situation that's high risk / low (or no) reward. Guys like OP get mad that girls won't approach them because they are evaluating their own SMV too highly. Some women will never approach because they're more risk adverse than others. But if you're never getting approached, you need to work on your SMV.

If you have high SMV, women will approach you. They are more subtly than men, but it does happen.

[–]Rommel0502 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is spot on. I get tired of saying this - but whether its business, politics, sex, whatever - the answer that governs all human behavior is the market, the market, the market.

[–]Acquin 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I agree. Seriously, if you've lifted till you've become a 9 almost all girls know they are likely of no value to you and you will simply never approach them. Of course they'll approach you. Now to accept that I'm obviously not a 9...

[–]bolupua 3 points4 points  (1 child)

lifted till you've become a 9

Can can you become a 9 only by lifting? I highly doubt it.

Maybe a combination of lifting+money+social proof will turn you into a 9. But only lifting?

[–]Mr_Andry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Physical fitness plus career success plus assertiveness/confidence/self-respect. The combination puts you in the top 10% of men. And it should be no surprise that they all feed on each other, creating an upward spiral. Most guys just don't see the big picture, so they never get to the tipping point.

[–]cuntrolbot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah but the flipside is that getting rejected by Chad is pretty brutal. It can be a life changing event.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This, thats why I say if a girl really fucking likes you she will figure out a way to get you to notice and also come talk to you, and let you fuck her, and/or suck your dick. These pieces of shit who chase after the girls, I mean its different if the girl is pretty much throwing herself at you, and if she is making dick sucking motions, or talking to you about marriage. Well hopefully you would get the hint she wants your dick in her.

Ive made many posts about this regarding the fact that I dont understand why these girls just dont come up to you, if they really like you. Literally sat the library this girl would come and sit next to me everyday, but wouldnt say a word to me. Literally she would just stare at me. She bnever had the decency to ask for my number though, so shes dead to me.

If I give a bitch my number, and she doesnt text or call me. Shes dead to me, and depending on how I feel........ Anyways like I said I am of the mindset that if a girl wants you she will figure out a way to let you know she likes you from a sexual standpoint, and if she really likes you, and wants you to wife her up ASAP she will ask you for your number.

I had units for this one fucking hispanic blonde bitch. She is nothing but a cum guzzler who can get an acid splash to her fucking face. Thats when was like you know what I dont care how top notch one of these human female mammals is. If she likes me Im sure she will figure out a way to get my attention and pretty much put her pussy in my face.

This girl that works at this place I go to alot, well I think she knows Im a little oblivious and I dont just like to assume girls like me. I finally realized she does like me. But it was only because her homegirl called me her boo and was like I should talk to her and take her out.

Would be quite a bit simpler if these girls would just ask for the guys number if they really like you. Seems like so many of these fucking cumbuckets have overvalued senses of worth and expect the guy to be the one to ask for her number. Some girls are aggressive and have decency to come at you with sexual intentions and even tell youthey want your dick inside their pussy.

[–]1OneRedYear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol yer gonna be lonely a long time. My plate of 8 months never initiates. If I go too long without initiating, she starts thinking I have someone else or got bored of her. She tells me all the time that she doesn't want to nag me or blow me up. She will send the occasional text saying hey if she hasn't heard from me in a few days. But you know what? She's always happy to hear from me and to get my dick inside her. No hesitation, no games, no low-interest bullshit. She just won't initiate a damn thing. Of course she has 3 kids and two ex's to deal with and I only come around once a week to beat it up. So neither one of us is heavily invested.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do they, though? Even then they just do the normal girl thing of standing closer and looking longer.

[–]beta_no_mo 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yup. If your SMV is high enough and you're fucking them right, they'll be trying to pull the LTR trigger long before you will.

[–]Strum_Gewehr 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The reason women dont initiate is because being dominated and taken is part of their tingles. By leading they lose those tingles making the relationship not worth it. A sufficiently high SMV guy can cause override though.

[–]no_face 4 points5 points  (0 children)

initiating commitment

Men who initiate commitment should get committed

[–]BetterBadIdeas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women are terrified of rejection to a degree that even the most introverted guy can't comprehend. Case in point: I was talking to a girl I know complain about finding a "good man" (I know for a fact she has no trouble getting male attention). I told her to try online dating. Her response was that she didn't like the idea of people looking at her profile and judging her".

Think about that for a second. She was terrified to the point of indecision at the mere notion of rejection she would never know about. The mere idea that anyone might ever reject her, even if it never impacted her, was enough to make up her mind about a potential solution to what she considered a major problem.

[–]Luckyluke23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they don't open guys because it's not submissive behavior. thats dominant.

[–]iiaGrer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. By initiating commitment the woman must then prove she is worth it. Otherwise she is the prize, claiming our time as the payout.

[–]TACTICALBLONDEBIMBO points points [recovered]

A few girls have come at ,me with sexual intentions on their mind. A few muslim girls as well. If a girl comes at me and has the decency and tact to ask for my number, and say she likes me. It really doesnt matter how she looks, as long as she is halfway decent. I will always put in effort for that girl.

For instance this girl told me she follows me sometimes. At first I was like lol wut????? Then she was like yea I follow you because I want you and like you quite a bit. Literally she was like sometimes she would wait for me the entire day, hoping I would talk to her and ask for her number. She told me she figured out I'm shy and so she finally decided to have some balls and ask me for my number. For her I would put in a ton of effort, and might even consider wifing her. She brought me around her sister and her friends when I was studying and they start talking about marriage in from of me. I was like lol wut????? Once again the girl who puts in effort for you and has the balls to come up to you and ask for your number,maybe she is the one for you. As long as she is halfway decent. Legit I dont even like most of these human female mammals, and sometimes looking at some of these fucking female creatures makes me want to slaughter them like pigs in a slaughterhouse. Serious. If I am putting in effort for a girl either she showed courage and tact and came to me with courage and decency and said she wanted my dick in her, comes at me with sexual intentions, or asked for my number. If a bitch is just that bad, then yes occasionally I will go up to one of these creatures ad ask for her number or ask to fuck. However I have done that less than a handful of times. I mean a bitch has to be bad as fuck, wife type material for me to just go up to one of these human female mammals and ask for their number.

I went up to my parents neighbors hispanic cuntbag bitch of a fucking blonde bimbo daughter, Once again just seeing her fuckbag ass makes me want to spit in her fucking face. Saw her today for a brief moment. Literally wanted to spit on her fucking whoremobile. Fucking bitch. It just pisses me off I actually told the girls mom she is beautiful, and this fucking cumdumpster fuckface hasn't even give me head or let me fuck. If she was going to let me fuck, or give me head she would've done so by now. I understand though, when I have her bitch ass dealt with, and maybe her jaw gets broken and maybe her vaginal walls are ripped apart. Whelp she should of been nice to me. Little fucking cuntbag blonde bitch.

Ill say this if one of these fucking skunbag shitbag dolled up bimbo baggins type bitches wants t be a fucking bitch. Just use that as motivation. Her being a fucking bitch was probably a good thing, because for some reason she motivated me to want to ball. Plus now it it is one of my goals in life to have her dealt with, and I mean dealt with. No matter what the fuck I have to do. Would love to spit in her fucking face one day, and/or piss on her.

[–]Frigzy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've got some serious mental issues dude. SERIOUS issues. Get help.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guys, I found War Machine's account... how's prison??

[–]justgotalpha 25 points26 points  (10 children)

Women approach the guys they find attractive in a undirect way..2 years ago i looked my best,(lifting,grooming,good haircut,good fashion style) and i could tell you that atleast 4-5 women aweek will approach me but not in a direct way,women are not direct like we are ,,they are not like "hey whats up i saw you from there and thought you was handsome" you have more chances of winning the lotto before she tells you that ,i worked in sales so it was easy for me to interact with women at different places, so "accidently they bump into you" think is an accident?think twice,that is her way of getting your attention and wait for you to lead, or "excuse me do you know what aisle the honey is?" That is their way of approaching you they are not direct because they fear rejection so they go with something undirect to see if you bite and lead her seduction

[–]Questionnaire7 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I was once at a bar with my bud, we were stoned and being very quiet agaist the wall. Place was packed. A girl standing next to me bumped into me really hard. So I started talking to her but she wouldn't look up from her phone. Not for a dang thing. Had me very confused. Im guessing I should have been a lot more forceful

[–]pollodustino 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Ask for her number so you can text her right there.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Yep. "Hey.Give me your number so we can talk to each other." Smirk.

[–]Questionnaire7 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Yea that would have been pretty funny, my stoned ass didnt come up with it though. Im also not sure she would have realized its comedic value over just seeing me as thirsty for numbers.

As I was driving around thinking about that after making this post I was considering what would have happend if I lightly placed my palm on her stomach and gotten her attention to speak after she ignored my words the 1st time. Kino and beats her "i dont hear you" test. She definitely bumped into me on purpose.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Im also not sure she would have realized its comedic value over just seeing me as thirsty for numbers.

Whatever. Who gives a fuck akbout what she's "thinking" in that Moment. It's depending on her feelings and might change in the very moment anyways.

Also what you say is much less important than that and how you say something. Might have just been her first shit test to.see if you are persistent and determined.

Anyways it's just one bitch and there are many more that don't want to make you jump through hoops first.

[–]Questionnaire7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Idk man, Ive only had 2 girls sleep with me with 0 effort in 25 years. You are right this one girl is not worth thinking about, but the situation is worth learning about. 2/25 is not a good ratio, Ive got to learn some hoops and complete some chases

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll make it. You are on the right track. Give yourself some time to get things right.

By saying to not give a fuck I mean to not give a fuck about how they might perceive something you say or do in the very moment. Nothing wrong with reviewing yourself.

You will never know how she felt and what she had been thinking and it's especially not worth thinking about what she might have thought if you might have said XYZ.

That one liner from me would at least have been funny and would have broken the ice if she was interested as well as gave you assurance about if she was. At the very least you would have had something to laugh with your bros.

[–]Rommel0502 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I agree with this. Just last week at the gym I noticed a post wall but still HB7-8 looking at me - over and over. It was raining out, and all of a sudden I see her go over to the window and let her hair down. Next thing I know, she's standing next to me looking up at me and says "Nice shirt!" I was wearing a t-shirt that said "Bigly" on it as a Trump reference, but she was clearly just using it for an ice breaker.

[–]ellemari 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true. Society teaches women not to initiate, so most don't. A few will however indirectly take the reins without overstepping their "roles."

[–]AwakeningLion 81 points82 points  (26 children)

Being introverted sucks, man. As a 21 year old I'm still trying to work on my maturity when it comes to fear of rejection.

Although I'm working on my appearance (lifting) and bettering myself --or trying-- in a lot of aspects, if I'm not doing the most important thing to attract women which is facing my fear of rejection then I'm just acting like said women: look good and sit passively until a fish bites.

Except women don't bite... It only worked (kinda) in my young teens when it was considered "cute" to be shy with OK facial aesthetics. But grown women don't want "cute." They want a virile bold masculine manly man with muscles. Anything less is either non-existent or Beta Bucks.

[–]cucumber_vaccine points points [recovered]

Being introverted is fine; it means you can recharge by being alone. Being shy sucks (I'm also shy).

It is quite possible to do the life-of-the-party thing, have kickass social skills and still be an introvert.

[–]AwakeningLion 14 points15 points  (1 child)

You're right, I shouldn't amalgamate the two. Although you (usually) can't change being introverted, you can definitely change being shy. I can see it very well as I'm steadily becoming less and less shy the more I lift.

I can also see my future self being very comfortable in social situations by honing my skills in dancing, for instance. I'm actually incredibly comfortable dancing and goofing around with girls in my dance classes. Some even look like they might be attracted to me (it's not always reciprocal though). I say "might" because I'm kind of retarded when it comes to detecting IOIs.

I just can't get myself to take the next step of initiating dates. I know the courage will come one day though... Keep lifting, right?

I hope I don't just end up being a good looking loser. Awesome body, good face, good clothes, but still can't get laid due to being a social retard. That would be hilarious. And sad.

[–]Late30sMasculist 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I just can't get myself to take the next step of initiating dates. I know the courage will come one day though... Keep lifting, right?

Try a mental reframe. One of the big hurdles I did when I was younger was committing to myself that I would go for a makeout with the next girl that showed me something that MIGHT be an IOI. Because up to that point, I would never try to escalate with a chick without rock-solid crystal clear IOIs.

So I was at a friend's apartment, at a small party. It was early so no one was drunk. I met a girl there and we started chatting for about 10 minutes. She seemed into me, but I wasn't sure.

I gave her a quick look, moved in for the kiss and she ducked out of the way. The conversation continued like nothing happened.

In retrospect, it seems trivial, but at the time I thought about it and realized nothing bad happens after rejection. You are making shit a bigger deal in your head than it really is.

20 years later and I have been rejected plenty of times when I tried to escalate, I can only think of 1 girl that ever actually got angry from me being aggressive, and she had other mental problems so I probably dodged a bullet.

TL;DR -- you don't have the social skills to know what you can do with a girl. So make it your goal to find that limit and as you bump against that limit a few times in a few situations, you will learn and develop those skills.

Don't make your goal to ask her out, make your goal to take it as far as you can until you get rejected. That starts with you asking her out.

[–]PissedPajamas 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can confirm, not to toot my own horn but I'm the life of my party along with my sister. We're socially savvy and thanks to years of 4chan in my teenager years (read: edgy) and socially aware friends, I've developed a well rounded sense of humor varying from normies to deep-webers.

Still, I need to recharge with some down time focusing on my hobbies like making music and fixing guitars.

I can't socialize at the gym either, most of the time I'm jacked up on ephedra or some kind of stupid heavy stim.

Just goes to show everyone is different

[–]AncientScrolls 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Man I feel op's pain. I used to be the same way as OP shy and introvert as hell, during my high school years. Lost a lot of opportunities to fuck quality pussy. I had a hot blondie and other hbs 8-9 in high school over me giving me all the signs but because i was a pussy back then a lost the chance to fuck her. Now a days I'm not like that. What helps me the most is remembering when i was a pussy and the rage of those lost opportunities just fills me in enough courage to do the first move.

[–]Andrew54321 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Get a sales job on 100% commission

[–]OneInAZillion[S] 22 points23 points  (11 children)

All of that is so true.

That "quiet = mysterious = attractive = I have to know what the fuck is so great about him" shit means nothing in adulthood. You've got to grab life by the dick and just accept that you won't have a 100% success rate - not even close. Rejection sucks, and sometimes it sticks with you. Hell I still remember getting rejected for a hug in kindergarten from the girl I liked.

Women don't bite. You have to go get them. They have swarms of men coming at them that they get to choose from so why would she ever feel the need to do the work herself? For you, me, or any of other dude who isn't Ryan Gosling.

Gotta man up. That's just part of growing up.

[–]AwakeningLion 6 points7 points  (8 children)

I feel like my main problem comes from my testosterone levels though. I never got them checked but I know it's probably on the low side. Already my prenatal T levels were sub-shit-tier as I'm an ectomorph / delicate frame with thin wrists and narrow shoulders, and (cringe) I played with fucking dolls as a child, which are all signs of receiving very little T in the womb. But up until recently, which is until I started lifting since new year and actively trying to increase my T levels through diet and lifestyle, I was very prone to depression which is another sign of low T.

Even now with everything I'm doing -- NoFap (for androgen receptor sensitivity), lifting, supplements, meat and eggs, etc. --, although I tackled depression, I still have a problem of rarely ever getting morning wood... which is yet again another sign of low T.

I'm definitely seeing a gradual improvement in my personality thanks to the steady increase of testosterone from gaining muscle mass coupled with all the compliments I'm getting from friends and family which help boost my confidence levels (currently gained 8kg/18lbs of muscle since I started), so I have some hope that when I achieve a certain level of swoleness, I'll reach some kind of an epiphany and start acting like a real man by not giving a fuck about rejection.

Does this resonate with you at all or do you think your timidity until your mid 20s was of another nature?

[–]OneInAZillion[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

In my case, my timidity (stealing the shit out of this word by the way) came from an emotionally inconsistent mother which kind of made me socially retarded until I got to college and started dealing with normal, well adjusted people on a regular basis, and then I realized that the world wasn't so bad afterall. I mean I still have my moments and around especially loud people I get quiet as hell - but not in the 'shy' way, but more of the 'you do you and I'll just stand here and enjoy the show'. But for the most part the anxiety is gone because I don't put so much stock into what people think of me anymore.

I've actually never had my T levels tested but I still get morning wood consistently and eat a shitload of eggs so I think I'm doing well in that department. I should get them checked though.

As for the epiphany, the not-give-a-fuck comes from, and I want to word this correctly, becoming comfortable. The people who aren't anxious are nervous in social settings are the ones who are the most comfortable dealing with other people on that level.

Compliments help your confidence, but what will help even more is seeing results women coupled with becoming more comfortable not only with women but with dealing with people in general.

There are countless before-and-after stories on this sub about guys who were once socially anxious and terrible with social situations, but had this NGAF epiphany just from reading TRP and being 'redpilled' (having a completely new view on life and women).

It's an issue of you comfort level, for the most part. That's the main thing.

[–]RedAsBlood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story.

Mine is quite similar. I recently realized that my parents were a very large part of my issues, mostly from my mom being a narcissist and my dad being an absent enabler.

It really fucks with your head when you have parents like that. You end up very socially stunted.

But all you can do is look forward and try to fix your issues. Cut toxic people out of your life.

[–]emanuele123 1 point2 points  (1 child)

In my case, my timidity (stealing the shit out of this word by the way) came from an emotionally inconsistent mother

Could you please explain better how your emotionally inconsistent mother impacted your social development until to college? Maybe with some examples? This because I have to deal with a similar type of mother as well and that caused me a lot of problems in developing my social skill with 'normal' people.

[–]Sartyrh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Start here.

My mother was narcissistic mainly in the self obsessed fashion and with not very much in the way of anger or rage outbursts. She was rarely supportive or interested in my life, only really coming into play to correct issues. If I was getting a B in class (she had super high expectations for me, living vicariously through me) it was a huge deal and I was in trouble for it. If I got an A, it was expected, a "good job" and that was it.

I remember once my sister (who is just as intelligent as I) having a party thrown for her after getting an A in one of her difficult classes - bunch of kids taken out to Chuck E. Cheese's, luckily I got to follow along in her shadow and feel embarassed and ignored.

Having an absent father who is also highly narcissistic and angry, who was never capable of giving emotional support and constantly talking about himself, he was never there for me either. I learned nothing from my father.

Parenting is very important... Let's just leave it at that. Those of us not so fortunate in the parental department have an extra hurdle in life to overcome, and that is that we must navigate the world in all it's complexity alone.

At the least, it forges us into stronger steel.

[–]THEDICKDEALER 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Does Endomorph predispose you to be beta?

[–]AwakeningLion 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If by endomorph you mean "fat" then yeah, your body is turning your testosterone into estrogen which isn't good. Look up aromatase. Excess fat is bad.

Hormonal-wise you just gotta lift and get ripped, whatever body type you have.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I like to here. No bitching, no excuses. Just hard work. Take notes newbs.

[–]LymanRP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women don't bite. You have to go get them. They have swarms of men coming at them

This. Just approach with a IDGAF attitude and zero expectation of any outcome. It's actually fun that way. You'll be surprised how far a confident approach will get you.

[–]slay_it_forward 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I look at like those Discovery shows where you see the lion pursuing the lioness. She'll growl and try to bite his dick off but he stays persistent and she eventually relents and he pumps her for 15 seconds. Or she doesn't allow it and he fucks off. That's nature. As a male, if you want to get laid you have to go on the hunt.

[–]clme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's quite a large demographic of cougar women who love above else the 17-21 year old boyish male who is tall, skinny, hungry, horny, poor, and clueless. They do all the work to get in your pants.

[–]LuvBeer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ey bro, 40 yo introvert checking in, get 1-2 new girls a week atm. Not bragging, just the way it is. 1) You can get muscles, do it. 2) Nofap: check out the subreddit, it can be cult-y but it honestly works. 3) I'm not great with street game but I do do it, you should get rejected in person at least some of the time 4) same with sales, I'm not the salesman of the year but I do all right. Don't know where you're headed career wise but there are many parallels between game and sales. Might be worth trying a sales job

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrong. 5.8 and 25 but I look like I'm 18 with a baby face. If you lift and your game is on point they will look past the cuteness.

[–]1sailorJery 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Women like those things, yes, but you don't need them to gain confidence. You only beat your fears by facing them. Cold approach and get off of reddit.

[–]Harry_Fraud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

every RPer's problems are answered by your comment plus, "Sidebar"

[–]JFMX1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree man. I had really shitty game when I was in high school because I worked out a lot and did MMA and was training to join the military. Girls my age ignored the fuck out of me, but I had good luck with older girls in their 20's and cougars would flirt all the time.

Now, 2 years out of high school, a lot of the girls that used to not like me are now flirting with me at the gym and my game is getting better, which makes me feel pretty good.

Back then I'd get ignored as they went for this One Direction, Tumblr boy looking guy that was scrawny as fuck and wore skinny jeans and thick framed glasses.

Now the poor bastard is limited to Tumblr feminists and hipster girls.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude (and dudes who feel this way), approaching women, dating, flirting, escalating, etc are skills the same as any other sport or hobby. I used to feel the same way and was terrified of rejection, but it's an utterly ridiculous mindset to have.

If you've never kicked a soccer ball, you don't have this ridiculous expectation that you can just kick the ball once a week and be good at it. No, you know that you have to fucking practice a lot to get good.

If you suck with women and are nervous flirting and making moves, that's fine. That's just where you're at right now. You just need to accept that that's where you're at and practice more.

Also viewing your interactions with women as practice is a great mindset that takes a lot of the pressure off you. If you view it as practice, it is a successful interaction no matter what happens, as long as you learn from it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The more you do it the easier it gets. I used to be fucking terrified of anyone tried to start a conversation with me. I've been there but don't lose hope, yo'll get there

[–]Randomshortdude points points [recovered]

"she's cute as hell but a complete bitch in certain ways and I don't need that childishness in my life"

I damn near teared up when I read that poetry

[–]TehJimmyy 28 points29 points  (14 children)

I got eye fucked today by a HB8 in a train. She literally looked from toe to head for 15 seconds. She was looking at me persistenly. As an introvert you know what happened i was just looking away amazed and didnt talk to her.

I never got checked before that much. It was like i was non existent. I started lifting for 6 months and studying more , read the sidebar and some books. Thats what i did

Now HB3 just wet themselves ( i bet lol ) they are so happy just seeing me , HB5-6's stare me and sometimes i get smiles or eye fucks from 7-8's. I dont know how to deal with this tho since they wont even open as you said and i have tremendous AA. It's eating me inside everyday. I bet if i do 1-2 approaches the rest is history but still thats not enough.

[–]OneInAZillion[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

The more you do something the more desensitized you get to it. Before you know it, it'll be second nature to just strike up a conversation with a random girl, especially one giving you really obvious IOIs - Just remember she WANTS you to say something.

First few times doing something is always the most nerve racking. You don't have to be as cool as the other side of the pillow - As long as she's attracted to you (by the sounds of it that should be no problem for you), she just has to know you're a normal, cool person who isn't a dickhead and she'll want to see more of you.

[–]TehJimmyy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Appreciate it man , you are right. I will make it happen

[–]vorverk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Go easy on yourself, so you don't freak out. Start by saying hi to random girls and chat with cashiers... Then work your way up from there.

[–]EPArt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I havent even tried in myself been meaning to ( im always lost in thought and then miss chances when I realize a woman I find attractive has been starring at me) but maybe try a lil wave might get her to talk first or encourage you to say something since you practically signaled direct interaction.

[–]ZelixNocturna 0 points1 point  (6 children)

What was your workout plan?

[–]TehJimmyy 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Just consistency man . 2 hours min a day at gym. From technogym machines to squats deadlifts.

[–]wbm1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

2 hours a day 7 days a week? That's not necessary, and sounds very inefficient.

[–]TehJimmyy 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You are correct. It was 6 days and i workout twice a body part a week.However i figured it wasnt neccessary and starting doing 45-1 hour sessions 1 time a week instead. I think it was much better but i am still testing it.

[–]Imakesensealot points points [recovered]

Still very unnecessary. Remember that there's other qualities you could be working on with that time.

[–]cesar58 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Thanks for the comment. This is my near future goal... right now I just got attention from 2-4 but its something after being an skinny fat incel for more than 20+ years...

[–]TehJimmyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem . I just expressed my experience so far. Hit the gym hard , wont regret it i assure you

[–]JackGetsIt 29 points30 points  (0 children)

By nature women are not risk takers and for good reason. You wouldn't want the females of your tribe that need to birth the next generation out taking too many risks.

Women need a lot of protections and privilege to live a comfortable life. Women are anxious and always looking for physical emotional walls to protect them from uncomfortable realities. Thus women create their own narrative driven by selfishness and emotion. Control her emotions, control her. Women fear rejection because they live in a walking fairytale land of their own creation. Truth or falsehood, if something doesn't fit in a women's narrative she conveniently just edits the narrative. Blue pill men white knight men, government and female centric society allows her to do this very easily.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Remember that scene where the girl is like 'WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE ME? I WAITED FOR 7 YEARS!'.

What women pretend is "waiting" is banging Chad. She's not sexually frustrated or lonely - she's playing the long game, because she's seeing other people. The "pretending I waited" game is "pretending I'm worthy of commitment" game.

"nah, I'll just cry a bunch and wait around forever for him to do it."

Pretend to cry to elicit beta support.

Women are gigantic pussies when it comes to facing rejection

Right... the game is to transition them from passive to making more effort as you see them more .... because that's just so much fucking easier.

Either way, you just game more chicks.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Being introverted once seemed like a curse, but looking back, I realise how many bad decisions it saved me from making. I used to envy those guys who were fucking their way through girls as easily as I was churning my way through imaginary girls, but none of those guys benefitted from it. They're all shacked up now, usually with kids. From being relatively alpha, they've become betas with slowly developing man boobs. It goes to show that it's never too late to start making good choices, as long as you haven't already made too many bad choices.

[–]Psychocist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely thankful for being a late bloomer and only dating the last 2 years, at 29. Have plenty of undeniable references from the men around me on how to fuck up your sexual relationships.

[–]Republic_of_Ash 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Had to stop reading after you mentioned that you "don't need that childishness" in your life, because if that's the case, then why in the fuck do you still have her on social media?

Clearly you still want to bang this girl but deep down perhaps you're afraid that, by finally initiating with her, you'll lose her.

[–]abbafishhead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. You called out the elephant in the room, respect. OP actually thrives on the ego boost provided by this chick but will not do anything to "risk" it. Thus OP reasons that she's childish, he doesn't need her, etc. to justify his inaction -- classic sour grapes hamstering.

[–]Dank_Meems 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I had a girl approach me in the spice isle of publix the other day and was very talkative and flirty. I really didn't want to ask her out because I hate the game of dating and I'm trying to avoid it at the moment so I can focus on myself and my condo. I said fuck it after a while because she was really talking me up and was super cute and clearly wanted me to ask her out, so I did. She had a boyfriend. I laughed and walked away. Sometimes they just want some good old fashioned attention.

[–]draquish 7 points8 points  (1 child)

She just wanted to see if you were cool with it, and if you would be discreet enough to engage in some side-action. A shit-test, pretty much.

[–]erthian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She probably didn't even have one. Just directly asking a girl out can trigger her asd.

[–]bidric 5 points6 points  (1 child)

How is it annoying that you have to do "everything"? They essentially communicate "please, strong man, take control!!" and you're replying "uhh... uhhh... no... please give me a sign.. please.... somebody take care of my shit"

It's so empowering that it's expected of me to do stuff... I love it. Embrace it.

[–]OneInAZillion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not annoying, anymore. It's an issue of the past for me but still something I felt was worthy of writing a little piece on for this sub. I just find the find this little piece of female lulgic funny for it's universality and undying persistence.

[–]Josewasframed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I used to hate it too. I hated the fact that it was up to us men to make the first move. But then I grew up, found TRP and realized why it needs to be.

In fact, I grew to love this burden. It's fucking perfect that it's up to us to start things. It gives us power.

Imagine a world where sexual strategy was flipped in this regard. Imagine if we guys had to wait for women to make the moves. It would be agonizingly painful to wait on them. That's why it's so much better the way it is, because we get to take matters into our own hands.

Once you realize that you have the power to walk up to any girl and start a conversation, and that society wants it this way, then you should feel better.

[–]maggieG42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It sounds like the women are putting a lot more work in then the man in their attempt to catch a man but not just ask out right. However, I think I know a reason women do this. Sex. That is correct when a man asks a woman out romatically he is more often than not trying to ultimately get sex and if she said yes or pushed him on the first encounter for sex most would very happily oblige. But most women would not. Therefore if they are the ones to ask it is often assumed they should be up for sex, otherwise why are they pursuing the man romantically which is to cut the bullshit sexually. So if they don't ask and the man does they have every right to take their time.

I think most women would like this game stopped and would like to just get the question answered. However as a woman, yes I am commenting on this no woman forum, I have never found a man to say no. It became very clear that most would just say yes to absolutely anyone. This led me to the conclusion that men will take any woman if they think a root is in order but will only put the effort into asking women they genuinely like. So I stopped asking men which I did when young and trying to be different and went back to the stereotypical attract their attention and see if they ask. I actually ended up with better men who liked me beyond sex or trying to get sex.

Sorry but perhaps women do this for a reason with lessons learned over many a life times.

[–]Eastuss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Women never throw attention at me.

Lessons learned: same.

[–]Avskygod0 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Hmm, so they're all autistic

interesting

[–]smirk_addict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funniest comment on this post.

[–]Taguroizumo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She wants what she can not have, so that's why she desires OP.

Moral of the story:

Stand your ground Don't fear rejection Every dog has his day

[–]melvocado 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are fucking whiny. Either talk to her or don't. She'll either talk to you or won't. Both can be shy. Both fear rejection. But there's no expectation for you to make a move. Plenty of women will pull moves on you if she's interested. Stop whining about ugh I'm shy it's annoying that women won't come onto me. Just work on yourself, how you look, work hard, be on the right path to success, work on improving yourself as a person, gaining confidence and maturity, then hell yes women will be all over you. If you're gonna be a bitter asshole, going nowhere in life and not trying to be physically attractive, women won't be interested. Be a nice person. Be a catch. Don't blame other people for not being romantically interested in you.

[–]AssMaster95 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I remember this one time a girl rejected me, and we had to go to the same banquet and she was wondering why I wasn't talking to her. Needless to say, I ended up banging her for a while.

[–]Questionnaire7 4 points5 points  (3 children)

She rejected you then changed her mind because you did not continue to persue?

What brought about the sex? Did she initiate or something?

[–]AssMaster95 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Well she canceled a second date saying she wasn't over some guy and I left it alone. We were in a setting where everyone was my friend and showed they cared about me and not so much her. Maybe she was using me but I got laid. It got to the point where she was openly molesting/feeling on me sexually despite being in public. It ended when we left that setting though, social proof disappeared.

[–]smirk_addict 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I remember how confused I used to be by all of that. Now it makes so much sense. But the simplicity of it shows me how most women really aren't worth your time. I just couldn't imagine getting a raging hard on for a woman because she was well liked and popular. I'm trying to figure how and why the fuck do all these people know her.

[–]Lordhood305 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Females are just fucking weird like that. Imagine if they said the stuff they were thinking out loud and how stupid it would sound...

[–]LeJamesBron32 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love the last point of your lesson learned.

A lot of my friends give me shit about my approaches. I'm pretty fearless, and have a pretty good approach game, or at least I think so. I try to tell them that 10 no's and 1 yes still means yes when it comes to approaching women. I just say fuck it and am on to the next one if she's not into me.

The funny thing is, I've gotten laid probably 2-3 times as they have in the last year or two (as if you wouldn't have been able to guess). So anyone that is new here or doesn't believe u/OneInAZillion 's advice, just grow some balls and don't be afraid of rejection.

[–]ingenjor 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I also used to be annoyed that women never did the initiation, but nowadays it's more of a relief. Even if they text after I give them a while of radio silence they never suggest a time and a place to meet up, so I don't even have to bother with handing out a rejection if I don't feel like meeting up.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This is one of the great advantages of female passiveness: they're very easy to let go when you don't feel like spending time with them.

The ones that do make the effort...... 99/100 times they are needy as fuck.

[–]smirk_addict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing I've noticed is that the same woman is either one or the other depending on your status, preselection, looks, etc...

[–]Blesss points points [recovered]

Now I don't want anything from this. I don't even want her to text me asking to hang out or anything. I just find it funny that she hasn't. She'll stalk my social media and make it VERY clear to me that she exists, but won't ever pick up the phone and do the dirty work herself. At this point I just laugh because of the ridiculousness and about how thanks to you fine gentlemen I know exactly what's going on. 2 years ago I would have validated her cries for attention and lost all value in her eyes. Now instead, I'm the one losing a lot of respect for her due to seemingly endless desperation.

Hypothetically at this point if you did want to respond to her and decided you wanted to ask her to hang out / go on a date or whatever, how would you play that without "validating her cries for attention and losing value"? or is that not even an option?

[–]006rbc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never relegated the use of social media "likes" to the conveyance of "I want to fuck you", but I've noticed their social media presence correlates to some sort of availability or interest. I had a few that would just about like anything I posted and all of the sudden would stop. Turns out they entered a relationship. Then out of nowhere the likes start coming again, and soon enough they'll update their status to single. So you can sort of use this to measure interest, but it's up to you to make that move.

[–]420KUSHBUSH 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's not bad looking either. She's cute as hell but a complete bitch where it counts, and I just don't need that kind of childishness in my life.

You're a stronger man than I. I would have chosen to hatefuck her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm confused. Is OP doing the right thing by maintaining frame and ignoring her, or, should he be overcoming the introverted nature and initiating more activity with her?

[–]RedPillFusion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post. This is spot on and a perspective that had never before occurred to me.

[–]man0man 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Sorry, you lost me when you started analyzing likes and favs from a chick you haven't spoken to in months.

[–]ChipMania 5 points6 points  (1 child)

OP expecting her to come over for coffee when he's already rejected her twice then calls her pathetic for being so desperate. Makes sense.

[–]ponkyol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's calling her pathetic because she doesn't force the issue and move on if it's a no.

[–]DarkRenaissance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almost the same story here. Its ridiculous how many opportunities I've missed, and still do, all because I don't make the move.

Meat-on-the-table had a great comment that goes with your fisherman analogy - its in a woman's very essence to trap.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women initiate to me a surprising amount (1-2x a month?). I'm pretty sure I make people super comfortable though, something in my demeanor, or the fact that I just am jovial with everyone. Lots of escalation too, so I'm not concerned they think I'm gay or they're just trying to use me for a drink or something.

Also gay guys often get a little too friendly, my girlfriend says it's because gay guys like manly men too.

Lift, dress well, smile and mean it.

[–]alvlear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is only natural. Bitches can't just walk up to the king uninvited. I like doing the approaching. These false accusing roasties should stay away from me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

some women do put their hand in the pond and grab a fish. it may not seem frequent because of your experience, but it does happen. I wish all people would be more confident and assertive like that, but it isn't common for anyone to take charge of their lives anymore or hold themselves accountable either for that matter! you can't just sit back and hope for the best, no matter who you are. gotta make some strides and leave your pride behind a little and have faith.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying but I don't get why you don't just pump and dump that shit.

[–]Expectations1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think theres just a lot of entitled motherfucking guys too, just cos that ugly porno guy smashed that girl, doesnt mean you can do that in real life too unless you yourself are high value.

Solution? Become high value. Average exists for a reason.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I've never actually seen the notebook.

[–]dancingkungfy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Serious: I have never watched the notebook.

Anyway stay strong dude and do not give in to the temptation of succumbing to her power play.

Just by the fact that you wrote a lengthy post about her, leads me to suspect that you still have strong feelings for her.

I'd recommend that you keep your mind occupied on other things other than her. Go to the gym, visit some friends etc

[–]MindBalance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LMAO, with all due respect, they DO approach and they DO initiate contact If they want you enough, I was approached several times and know a lot of dudes who also were approached by chicks

[–]PM_ME_UR_RP_T_AWAY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can fish too. Flirt just a little bit, maybe a smile across the room or something. It makes it easy to tell who is interested based on how they reciprocate.

Actually, thinking about this, I might have just finally grasped how escalation works.

[–]EPArt 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Im curious op how old are you now?

[–]Buchloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women WILL initiate when they are desparate enough. Older, uglier chicks with kids initiate regularly. Any chick who initiates like this is probably a chick you don't want

[–]Vasallo7G 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what about leaving the trap on? just giving her your phone and telling them "hey you are beautiful, call me if you want to go out"

[–]abbafishhead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always loved being a guy, because it puts me in a position of power. I have the freedom to choose whom to make moves on, thus sparing me of any unwanted advances. I may have to deal with rejections, but I'm naturally thick-skinned, and I often learn from my failures and perpetually improve myself. Girls don't have that; they're forever complacent because of all the false positives (i.e. unwanted attention) that they get, yet they don't know where they go wrong when they fail to attract the guy they want. Girls simply don't have that learning opportunity.

So guys, look on the bright side, it's better for us to be proactive. You have the freedom to choose, you get a feedback loop on how to improve, and you're always in control, never needing to wait passively for things to happen.

[–]TheImperios 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are we living in different worlds? There were quite a few girls who messaged me first and were all assertive about that.

[–]PM_ME_SOLILOQUIES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • The guys who get laid are the ones who aren't afraid of hearing the word "No", and have heard it a shitload of times.

Excuse my ignorance, but what questions do these guys ask specifically to get a yes or no? Thanks mate

[–] points points

[permanently deleted]

[–]nozmi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great post.

Truer words have never been spoken about that scene in The Notebook.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Also fuck that bitch OP, good on you. Most of these fucking guys who lack decency ad tact would be all over that girl treating her like a special little fucking snowflake. Meanwhile I bet if you go on ol girls Facebook she has pictures of her little fuckface ass deploying wildthigh and ass. Probably a spray tanned little cumbucket bitch. There is always a bitch who is better. Most of these fucking bitches are nothing but dolled up cocksuckers who can get gassed. I gave this fucking little cum guzzling blonde hispanic bitch my number once bro. Her parents are pretty much my parents neighbors. Anyways if she dies she dies. Ive said it before, but her pretty much bing an overvalued ssnes of worth cuntbag bitch actually made me realize you know what is so special about her little second hand immigrant ass? Nothing, she is nobody and can get her jaw broken. Shes a dawged out fuckbag who can get one through the forehead. If I ever se her, I will never show her any respect. Literally the last time I saw her, I really wanted to rip her fucking soul out right then and there, but I am going to wait until the time is right. She is nothing but a dawged out fucking whore of a bitch. Like I have said her being a fucking little overvalued sense of worth bitch to me was all the motivation I needed. Really hope I get the chance to spit in her fucking face one day. Serious.

Once again if a bitch likes you she can figure out a way to get your attention and let you know she likes