Field ReportGrow your relationships with women like mushrooms: Keep them wet and in the dark. (self.TheRedPill)

submitted by p00nbrigade

Last month I met an HB7 who lives in my building. We instantly hit it off and she sucked my dick like she owed me money on the first date. The second date we got to knocking boots. I've kept every encounter with her short, sweet and sexual since. I recently took a piece of advice from a documentary I watched called American Pimp- Treat every girl your with as if your her man and shes your women.

We've been messing around now about twice/three times a week since then and yesterday she finally popped the question.

We were laying in bed and she was rubbing my back when she says to me "Do you do this with other girls?" Of course I probe the question and say "Yes, Don't you do this with other guys?"

Then she rolls over and starts "crying"-honestly maybe she was but the lights were out and I couldn't see her face.I just hugged her and felt her arms tighten around mine. Then I made her roll over and look at me. With a kiss I told her "When I'm with you, your the only girl that matters and I expect you to treat me the same." Then she says "But what about when your not with me". To that I said "Don't worry about that" and then kissed her passionately. 5 mins later I escalated as usual and were fucking like rabbits.

Enforce boundaries- cross bridges when you get to them- keep the sexual energy going and be mysterious.

Edit: Read the comments- a better response instead of "Yes, don't you do this with other guys?" Could have been "Its complicated" the reasons for that response are discussed.

[–]idrwierd 215 points216 points  (22 children)

Mushrooms actually prefer some sunlight.

Just saying.

[–]havesexwithme666 99 points100 points  (12 children)

Is this a metaphor or have i been growing mushrooms wrong all this time

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (11 children)

I've helped friends grow a certain kind of mushrooms, no light needed

[–]justshitposterthings 32 points33 points  (4 children)

They definitely have a light cycle, your friend should do more research.

[–]mrj0ker 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Yes, lights help the fruiting body initiate growth upwards and get bigger. MrShitpost is correct

[–]RubyOrchid13 10 points11 points  (1 child)

And knowing is half the battle! GI Joe!

[–]idrwierd 8 points9 points  (4 children)

This is why you're never really going to find mushrooms growing in a pitch black cave. They also need some time to dry out a bit, instead of keeping them completely soaked.

[–]havesexwithme666 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Yeah it's kinda shitty how OP is spreading false information about the objectively best fungi out there

[–]idrwierd 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Keep in mind that OP, through his lies and false analogies is not only promoting mycological illiteracy about psychoactive mushrooms, but all mushrooms in general.

[–]Docbear64 27 points28 points  (0 children)

NAMALT - Not all Mushrooms Are Like that.

[–]Luckyluke23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sometimes i ride the bus. but i don't need to ride the magic school bus.

[–]abbafishhead 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Please correct me, but why? They don't have chlorophyll and definitely don't perform photosynthesis.

[–]idrwierd 6 points7 points  (0 children)


Mycelium doesn't require light, but for it to produce mushrooms, a photo period is necessary. Perhaps it's an adaptation ensuring the spores are realeased at the surface where they can spread farther.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]abbafishhead 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    but it does help them properly grow.

    Still doesn't answer the question, but okay...

    [–]Keanu_reeds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah the difference between fruit grown in the dark vs fruit grown with a light cycle is.. night and day.. the ones exposed to light grow towards the light. The ones unexposed grow crooked spindly and ugly .

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    And the term is "keep them in the dark and feed them shit"

    But still

    [–]CrazedHyperion -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Actually, I don't think they care at all.

    [–]GOATmar 97 points98 points  (36 children)

    "It's complicated" would have sufficed.

    [–]ctrl_alt_el1te 64 points65 points  (11 children)

    This is the better response. OP your response was definitely solid but it could've potentially started a shrill argument or lost you an easy plate depending on what kind of girl she was (but that's not really a big deal at the end of the day).

    Better to just let them wonder with no definitive answer, I think.

    [–]p00nbrigade[S] 62 points63 points  (8 children)

    What would "its complicated" have accomplished exactly though. She would have asked for clarifying information. Eventually I feel like you just gotta tell her straight up that your not promising exclusivity and that's that. Im assuming "its complicated" would be used as a stalling tactic so you can stall those clarifying questions?

    [–]ctrl_alt_el1te 43 points44 points  (3 children)

    Idk, i've always been a proponent of the less is more ideology. If you say it's complicated and then flip her over for another make out sesh you plant a seed in her thoughts that you guys aren't exclusive instead of telling her outright and having her hit a brick wall that could mess things up.

    Honestly I do think your response was a power move and I personally like it, but I just think it may have been a little overkill depending on the girl thats all.

    [–]p00nbrigade[S] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Your right. I definitely agree that planting a seed regarding how she should think about us (not being exclusive) is better than outright telling her if I don't have to. Next time I'm going to to take that approach first- I can always hit her with a power play like I did later on if needed.

    [–]badaod 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    i like the way you handle this thread. also your edit in the post itself. good content, bro!

    [–]RubixRedux 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    The key to planting any seeds is this. You pick a moment usually when she is swept up in excitement with you, you drop your seed, and then burry it with a distraction so it can grow on its own.

    If you want to avoid a shit test, using a simple blatant answer like "it's complicated" and then engaging physically is a beautiful example of controlling the situation and planting a seed. She will now meld into your frame instead of bending you into yours

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 48 points49 points  (1 child)

    What would "its complicated" have accomplished exactly though. She would have asked for clarifying information.

    You're trying to boil the frog. Graduallllyyyyyyyyy letting her know the truth. Should come through from your actions and your lack of emotional availability.

    There shouldn't be any shocks, jumps or surprises along the road. No point creating a potential sticking point if you don't need to.

    She's very welcome to ask for clarifying information. In fact you can count on it. Doesn't obligate you to answer.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Mixed Metaphor:

    boiling the hamster

    [–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear222 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Lets her hamster spin on if/how many girls you are seeing. Also keeps you from overtly communicating (words) instead of covertly communicating (action)

    [–]GOATmar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    She would have asked for clarifying information.

    Extremely unlikely, since it's almost a universal rule they drop it when a Man says this.

    The most a woman has ever "pushed" after I say this is, "well i'll try my best to understand" or "explain it!"

    To which you can easily win even more points in the game just by answering "Duly noted" the former, then changing subject

    and answering "What r u, a cop? lololzlzlzl" to the latter.

    Golden Rule of life is, you barely have to do any explaining to your hot trophy wife/girlfriend (Less Is More). So you keep it all even more lowkey to a mere fuckbuddy.

    [–]NuclearTruthBomb 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Disagree. By indicating he was so sexually attractive, other women were begging to bang him, that only increased his SMV in her mind. Add a dash of "Inspiring Hope" ("he thinks I'm special, not any of those slutty whores!")? Of course there was a panty explosion.

    [–]ctrl_alt_el1te 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I can see and understand your line of thinking, but just keep in mind - you can usually make more of an impact by underselling yourself and letting people come to conclusions for themselves, instead of spelling out the reasons why you're awesome to them.

    [–]BlowMeWithCokeLips 10 points11 points  (10 children)

    "Don't worry about that" is more mysterious 4shore.

    Because you are giving her a command that she better follow or she out.

    Find what works with your tone of voice and actions that follow.

    [–]GOATmar 11 points12 points  (9 children)

    Except it isn't.

    "It's complicated" is the most versatile one liner that exists. Great during text, or face-to-face (and otherwise) seduction in just about any situation/question.

    Try it.

    [–]kenpachitz points points [recovered]

    Try it.


    What are we? It's complicated.

    Do you love me? It's complicated.

    What's your name? It's complicated.

    I'll be damned.

    [–]GOATmar 4 points5 points  (7 children)

    "Do you wanna stick it in my ass, Daddy?"

    "It's complicated."

    [–]BlowMeWithCokeLips 3 points4 points  (6 children)

    "This is a complex system. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what have yous."

    How about that?

    [–]GOATmar 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    that's "It's complicated"'s super tryhard cousin

    avoid saying too much.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]redaftrp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Sounds like a Rick and Morty one-liner...

      [–]BlowMeWithCokeLips 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Actually it's a Big Labowski two-liner

      [–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      You are confusing "you're" with "your". This was painful to read.

      [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Such a poetic title, like a haiku or something so lucid.

      [–]Hardstyle_Shuffle 63 points64 points  (14 children)

      tales from basement, just be goodlooking and that's it,women will cry for you.

      [–]RedSkeller 102 points103 points  (12 children)

      They cry because they want something, not because they are actually hurt. Therefore you're not hurting them and should disregard feelings of guilt.

      [–]p00nbrigade[S] 55 points56 points  (2 children)

      That is very good insight. We've all likely heard people cry tears of grief and we've all heard children cry when they don't get their way. This was definitely the second one.

      [–]lopsidedlucky -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      Brilliant. Those two posts alone should be stickied. Seriously, were are the mods.

      [–]Cunt_Robber 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Yes i think i remember this quote from Meditations...

      [–]shadexs55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is extremely important and needs to be said more often

      [–]SideWindStoic -1 points0 points  (4 children)

      Can you explain me why people cry when they lose their loved ones? It's not so much that I'm trying to bust your comment but I can't think of a way I could apply your way of thinking on this matter. Do they cry over the friendship they lose but want so badly? Thanks in advance.

      [–]RedSkeller 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Everything is about them. Mostly you are reacting to the sense of loss of this person. They will no longer exist and you will no longer be able to interact/spend time with them. It's sad to think about such a sudden change but realistically a fact of life.

      [–]CrazedHyperion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      They cry for themselves. Maybe the dead person owed them money.

      [–]Satou4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Pretty much. Grief has multiple stages, anger and bargaining are two. When people cry over loss it's more like, they want the good times they had with the person to come back. Or they cry over a family member who was never good to them because they wanted the relationship to be better. I took a class.

      [–]Satou4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fake crying isn't associated with grief

      [–]whuttupfoo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      This is just an excuse you're giving yourself.

      [–]BoyWhoreWithASword 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I really like this. Gonna use this with my plates

      [–]Toker95 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Damn you must be good looking op

      [–]Sandman616 29 points30 points  (7 children)

      So, you honestly answered her question but when you flipped it on her she avoided it altogether, and then feigned hurt so that you could comfort her and you rewarded her with sex? I fail to see the lesson you're espousing here. You're getting played harder than you think, you need to get ready to drop this bitch like a defective hot pocket.

      [–]p00nbrigade[S] 19 points20 points  (5 children)

      Definitely was more along the lines of me telling her what's up- her getting upset- me giving her a "there there its ok bit of comfort" and then her fucking me.

      Also explain how I'm getting played. I'm interested in what you think could possibly be up her sleeve.

      [–]Sandman616 25 points26 points  (4 children)

      Did she answer your question? My guess is she has used this fake hurt feelings tactic to get out of many a responsibility in her lifetime. You're certainly not the first guy on whom she's used this tactic

      She's using sex to distract you from holding her accountable. Which is to be expected, women's solipsistic nature doesn't endow them with the concept of reciprocity. She got the information she wanted out of you, rather than you letting her hamster work overtime. You didn't keep her in the dark at all, in contradiction to the title of your post.

      [–]p00nbrigade[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Yes I see where I contradicted myself after reading many comments lol.

      1: What responsibility would she even be trying to get out of?

      2: Why would I be holding her accountable?

      [–]Sandman616 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      What responsibility would she even be trying to get out of?

      Any responsibility. Ever. Watch her repeat this behavior again in no time.

      Why would I be holding her accountable?

      Because you are a man, and you have standards to which girls must acquiesce if they want to be with you.

      Do what you want with this girl. I'm just calling it and saying she's not a quality woman, like so many aren't. It's a red flag. Many more soon to come, as I see it.

      [–]p00nbrigade[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      Thanks For the insight I'll be on the lookout for more red flags and act accordingly.

      [–]lopsidedlucky 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      This should be higher. The brutal truth of it was hard to read as I applied it to times were I was in the situation. You nailed it though, her turning and refusing to answer is a rouse. That's what they do and pushing the issue would have turned nuclear but, it's important to recognize that she used a tactic.

      [–]BlowMeWithCokeLips 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I have noticed if you can keep responses to two words you leave a lot up to interpretation. You need a picture before a frame. So paint one you like.

      [–]abbafishhead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm not sure how you missed this, but she's crying not because you do this with other girls, but because she's insulted that you think of her as the "sort" to do it with other guys, thus severely suppressing her ability to lock you down for long-term commitment.

      [–]TheEagleAndTheSnake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      What I love the most about this subreddit is that when you first come here, all you see is women bashing. Then you start reading and if you're smart enough, you'll sooner or later figure out that it's not actually bashing, but the truth. And then, when you've internalised most of the sidebar, then you get into a heated discussion about ideal mushroom growth conditions in the most upvoted comment session in this thread.

      [–][deleted]  (9 children)


      [–]seaguy87 31 points32 points  (1 child)

      And the most egregious one of all: using 'your' instead of 'you're'.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]p00nbrigade[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        I definitely realize my mistake. I'm not here as an expert and I appreciate your feedback. Thanks for making your post easy to read I've saved it as a reference.

        Question though- isn't it easier to build a stronger bond upfront, get her invested and then just taper off or fit her in your schedule as you like?

        [–]p00nbrigade[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        If anything I would think that building that stronger bond initially would get her invested from the beginning and keep her hamstring that what you have between the two of you is "real".

        [–]fur10us_falcon 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Was that mushroom quote from the departed? Lol

        [–]Senior Contributordr_warlock 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Isn't that the movie where Matt Damon's broken arm in a cast is slammed against the pool table until it breaks as a 'weapons check'?

        [–]Toxicbutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Don't forget to feed em shit.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        OP please learn the difference between your and you're. Made it a bit hard to read.

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)


        [–]p00nbrigade[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

        Relationships is a loose term. I couldn't think of a better word.

        [–]beachbbqlover 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        TRP likes to call them plates, but I don't like the specialized PUA lingo.

        Call it "Dave" or 42 for all I care.

        [–]Cunt_Robber 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I think ppl are just nitpicking at this point. Your title was great and your FR demonstrated an approach i might actually implement myself when the time comes. I had one plate straight up call me out of the blue one night (after id plated her for a year and kept leading her on - it was easy cause Im busy af - when she'd bring up these "is this going anywhere/what are we/do your friends know about me" questions) and said things weren't working out how she wanted, and ended it. She had no shortage of dick, and Im sure her friends convinced her she was being "played." Funny thing is, I didn't feel as bad about her ending it as i did about me leading her on all this time.

        [–]kusanagiseed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        It should be keep em in the dark, keep em wet and feed em shit, IMO

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I thought the saying was feed them shit and keep them in the dark

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        "Do you do this with other girls?" Of course I probe the question and say "Yes, Don't you do this with other guys?"

        The key to frame really is fucking brutal honesty.

        [–]JediStrikerTy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Sounds like a corny romantic scene in a James Bond movie.

        [–]Mckallidon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Kept in the dark and fed bullshit

        [–]ZenplusZen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        And you just killed what could have been a relationship for you. All moves have consequences.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This is the kind of lame insecure crap which gives red pill a bad name. Seriously, there are some interesting ideas in red pill, but true alpha masculinity this aint.